Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Danger, Danger McPhee

Tonight--Idol show and results... tomorrow the new Unan1mous

Well, here we are, in the guest bedroom (where the computer is) ready to watch American Idol. Though both of us haven't seen who has been kicked off (but watching Fox 6, they just told us... but I won't spill the beans) it will be fun to watch the show. And talk about it.

So off we go.

Tonight is 21st Century Music night, one you think would be easy after Stevie Wonder week and 50s week... but we'll see.

And here comes Lisa Turtle, singing "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson. Since Fox only has an hour for the show tonight, none of this silly interview before hand... straight to the music. And 16 year old Lisa Turtle said "damn". Poop mouth. Poopy poop mouth. And Steph went "...oohhh..." when Lisa cracked that bad note at the end. Eeesh. And Lisa has about four feet of eye shadow. Randy said "just okay". Paula couldn't even come up with something good. Simon said "the song was too big for your voice." We both think she wasn't very good.

Here comes Pickles! Singing "Suds in the Bucket" by Sara Evans, one of the most fun songs I've ever heard. And as soon as the music started, I can tell you--I don't like it. The music behind it sounds like crap too. Not only does Pickles look like she is having NO fun whatsoever (and this is a darn fun song to sing--ask my co-workers at Starbucks about how much fun I have singing it when slinging lattes out the door), she also look like she lost a fight with the Mary Kay Lady. Probably one of the worst I've heard from dear Pickles. Neither Randy nor Paula liked the song choice... but if she had sung it well, it would have been great! Simon didn't like it either.

Steph's man Ace with the Ace Hair, singing "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. When he sang "drops of Jupiter in her hair", he touched his hair. And his shirt is straight from the hood of Smokey's trans-am. Steph just said "He had so much promise... and he's kinda going downhill." Ace just showed his scar, and showed his crappy voice. Randy said "wrong song--and you didnt even sing it well". I agree. Paula is looking for something nice to say... she's struggling. Except for "how'd you get that scar on his chest." Simon says "quite karaoke". Steph said "he was flat." I think he was kinda crappy. And using two hands to hold up three fingers? Steph laugh. I just dry heaved. Get rid of this guy.

Taylor Hicks is singing "Trouble" from someone I've never heard of. Remarkably, he's not moving. I think it might actually be hurting him to stand totally still. It's kind of a cool song, though, and its a good way to show off the vocal chops. Steph says "I don't think he can actually stand up straight". A billion times better than Ace and Lisa Turtle, and even Pickles. Speaking of bouncy, they showed George Huff. Randy wanted the "going nuts" Taylor... Paula liked the "standing and singing". Simon liked the song and the vocals. But the styling? Very Clay Aiken. That's pretty harsh...

Mandisa singing "Shackles" by MaryMary! Go 'Disa! Go 'Disa! She did a God shout out before the song began--now she sounds out of breath. What a great song to sing on live TV though... she rocks. I can see her touring with Kirk Franklin one day. And I predict she'll grace the cover of CCM Magazine within the year. Randy wasn't sure about the song choice. Paula just used the words "Church of Mandisa". Mandisa thinks "did you EVEN listen to the words??" Simon didn't like it... he thinks it bit indulgent. Figures.

By the way, "American Dreamz" looks hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

And here comes Daughtry. First, he is addressing the small controversy of him doing the Live version of "Walk the Line" last week. Tonight he's doing "What If" by Creed. He's kind of mumbling the whole thing, in true rock star fashion. Its not bad, though to me there is nothing special about it. Its a little hard for Steph's tastes though. Randy liked the song choice, but thought it wasn't great. Paula loves him. Of course. Simon says "again, a bit indulgent. You have to show more than the 'rock' side."

My Girl McPhee is up, singing "The Voice Within" by Christina Aguliera. I don't know what she's wearing, but if it were on anyone else besides My Girl McPhee, and maybe Pickles, I'd make fun of her. I will say, though, its not a good idea to have gold plated manhole covers as earrings. Great, strong voice. Randy liked it, but said there was nothing new with it. Paula liked it. Of course. Simon says "the best tonight, almost as good as the original". Steph says "I liked her better last week."

I just asked Steph if she had McPheever. I think she just made fun of me.

Oh Bucky. He's singing Tim McGraw's "Real Good Man." Bucky. Sucky. Same thing. He dances like he's been at the bar a little too long, and the DJ just put on "Boot Scootin' Boogie"... and he's on the dance floor in a stupor. Randy liked it. Paula actually critized ("be careful of your diction"). Simon says Sucky is "winging it". Steph says "I think Tim McGraw would have punched it... Bucky didn't. Does that make sense?" Guys, when answering a question like this, say Yes.

Paris. Singing "Work It Out" by Beyonce, with her Destiny's Child hair all up. She kinda looks like she is having fun, but not really. She's got her "shake my jelly" down. Steph says "if you sing Beyonce, do you have to do the butt thing to? Is that requirement?" Randy says "fearless... bomb... best... hot..." The usual. Paula loved it. Of course. Simon didn't like it. I didn't either. Ryan has called her Princess P twice. That would make me not like her again. Steph: Gosh, her hair... that top knot is distracting me.

Closing it out, Elliott Yahmean and his second set of teeth. He is doing Gavin McGraw's "I Don't Wanna Be". I'm just not a fan of this guy--maybe its how its coming across on TV or something... I just don't think he's very good, and he certainly doesn't look the part. Bo Bice went grapenuts with this song last year, and was awesome. Elliott? Eh. Randy loved it. Paula loved it. Of course. (She used the words "funky white boy") Simon says "great song, terrible arrangement, hideous dancing". Steph says "He's growing on me. I'm down with that."


The tape is spazzing out, as is the audio, giving Ryan a baritone voice... making us laugh. Perhaps we should chunk this tape soon... like tonight.

Its time for the weekly Ford commercial, starting all the Idols. Last weeks was pretty funny--this was kinda lame.

Now, Shikira and Wyclef Jean are singing. Steph says "Who?" Exactly. Wow, this fast forward button works really well.

In one swoop, Mandisa, Paris, Pickles, Taylor, and Daughtry are all safe. Steph's man Ace with the Ace Hair is sitting on the top, "as yet unsafe" row... with the priceless "Oh crap, not again..." look on his face.

Elliott is... safe. Lisa Turtle is... not. Bottom three for the third week in a row.

Ace Young is... in the bottom three again. Its worth is just to see the "How did I get here again?" look. My Girl McPhee and Bucky are left.... and My Girl McPhee is in the bottom three... WHAT?!? Bucky is safe???

Ryan sends Ace back to the couch. Wow... My Girl McPhee is the 2nd lowest vote getter??? What is wrong with you people??? Simon says "watching it back, it wasn't very good... none of it was"

Could McPhee go the way of Julia Demato? Voted out early, ruining her life?

Lisa Turtle is gone. Good. Talk about a rising star in the auditions with a Idols Final flame out ... and as standard, they are playing Daniel Powter's "Bad Day".

Ryan just informed us "we are goiing country next week". What, did the producers sit around and decide "crap... we gotta figure out how to keep Kellie Pickler and Bucky around! Let's do country!"

My Girl McPhee was in the bottom two... its okay... Fantasia and Ruben spent time in the bottom three once.

Maybe I should start voting.

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