On this Memorial Day, as another reminder that its not all BBQ and Mythbusters Marathons on Discovery Channel (not that there is anything wrong with either of those, though I'm glad that Travel Channel isn't having a Samantha Brown marathon--I wouldn't move for 12 straight hours), I thought I'd post a couple of pictures I came across...
When visiting my Mama over Easter weekend, I went through several boxes of things that pictures that belonged to me, yet I had forgotten I had... and I thought it was awesome that I found a few pictures of my Dad. Well, he's my grandfather, if you read this post you'll understand, but I grew up calling him Dad, and that's how he shall be remembered.
He served our country in World War II and Korea as an airplane mechanic. Not sure he saw a whole lot of combat, but anyone who served in WWII is someone I consider part of a group that "saved the world". Saved the world from the Germans, saved the world from tyranny, saved the world from the bad guys. Saved the world.
I do believe John Dollar retired a Sergeant Major in the Air Force, with a full military funeral when he passed in August of 2000
In a picture I had never seen before, this is Dad working on one of the many airplanes he fixed. Handy, that one was. On the back is written "In my work clothes"
Thought this was a hoot... the back of the picture, in his messy scrawl, says "the chow hound". I can only assume that is a bottle of Coke he's holding, and in the 40s, I'm guessing that is a fantastic bottle of cola.
Caption on the back writes, "Me under the nose of an attack plane". Can't help but think of Brad Pitt in "Inglorious Basterds" wanting him some Nah-zi scalps
Caption on back says, "A few of the planes here for Air Force Day, 1947". Not sure where "here" is.
"My squadron in flight. The 41st". Yes, it took me a few minutes to figure out that the plane formation said "41". How great is this?
And finally, no date or caption written on this one. But
I thought it was still a great shot.
So that's my Dad, back in the day. And like all the rest who serve, he was a hero. No, he didn't die in a gunfight, or a roadside bomb, or saving the lives of his fellow Air Force countrymen, or in some dramatic fashion... he died of old age from many of the problems that plague older gentlemen. But he was still a hero.
Thanks to my younger brother Shawn who was/is a Marine, to my cousins Steven and John, thanks to The Big Wasyluka, thanks to Gemini & Heather King, thanks to Joey the Marine Husband, thanks to Kirk (Tiff Abbott's boo), and thanks to all the service men and women who do what you do, voluntarily. And thanks to the families who give them up and let them serve, who sit by the phone and stare at pictures missing their loved ones and constantly pray for safety.
Hey! Remember me?! Of course you do! Heck, I've gained about twenty followers on Facebook since I haven't blogged in a few weeks, so perhaps in order to get to 300 or something, I should never blog again! But what fun would that be?
So, this is #800. I had started writing something a bit special, something a little personal, a story I've audibly told to a few people--and a church congregation--but hadn't written, and I thought "wow, for this blogging milestone of mine own, perhaps I should do something such as this..." And having to write it a bit at a time, its just not getting done. It might be December before I get this done... and today, I just want to be a little funny. I'll try, anyway.
A few months back, and by a "few months back", I mean September of 2010, I blogged about a Vh1 countdown on the Greatest Songs of the 90s... Part One is here... and Part Two is here.
Well, flipping the channels one day, looking at the grid on DishNetwork, and see on Vh1 that "The Greatest 100 Songs of the 2000s" is on. All five hours of it, all five parts, from 100 to the best song of the years 2000 to 2009...
Now, when watching this show, you must understand, I haven't seen this show at all. So, as I list each song and talk about each one, I'm discovering it for the first time on this countdown.
Without further Gerard Depardeau, let's get this thing going...
#100... "The Thong Song" by Sisquo
This might be one of the dumbest songs I've ever heard. Like, I enjoy some crappy music... but Sisqo isn't just having fun, he's pouring passion into his lyrics. About a thong. A major one hit wonder. One of the best undie songs, I guess.
#99... "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood
THIS is the "You Oughta Know" of this decade. Carrie ain't playing, as she dug the keys into the side of the purty little souped up four wheel drive, got her name in his leather seats, took a Louisville Slugger to the headlights, there are now holes in ALL four tires, and perhaps, just maybe, he'll think about it before he cheats... but he ain't cheatin' on her. She ain't giving him the chance.
The Lovely Steph Leann loves this song. A little too much, methinks.
#98... "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down (2000)
Dude! I freakin' love this song! I don't really know exactly what it really means, but this song rules. Three Doors Down is kind of like Nickleback's tribute band... or maybe Nickelback is Three Doors Down's tribute band? I dunno.
But, I do have a question...
If I go crazy, will you STILL call me Superman?
#97... "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy, feat. Rik Ross (2000)
The entire appeal of this song is Shaggy and his ridiculous voice. The moral of this song is, she saw you with that chick, she has the evidence to prove it, and Shaggy just replies "It wasn't me..." Seriously. Honestly, I can't really tell you what Shaggy even says, be it here ,or that crazy "Boombastic" song.
#96... "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls feat. Busta Rhymes (2006)
I'll take the Spice over the Pussycat any day.
Ladies and gentlemen, the 2000s version of The Spice Girls, I give you the Pussycat Dolls! Whether you think they are attractive or not is irrelevant... they think know they are, and they not only want you to know it, but your chick too. Don't cha wish your chick was a bra-wearing slut with all sorts of venereal diseases hot like me, don't cha?
You know what?
The Spice Girls > The Pussycat Dolls.
There, I said it.
#95... "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt (2005)
Holy crap was this song annoying. I mean, can you be a man and still be as whipped as Jimmy Blunt comes across being? Seriously. And EVERY girl I knew loved this song, and no wonder, the entire four minutes is nothing but him telling her how good looking she is. Sheesh. Its like, they are all saying, "I wish my man would sing this to me." I feel like the song is a 3 minute theme to The Hallmark Channel. Next.
And James Blunt even says that the song is a sad one, about heartbreak and crap... which makes me happy. Ha!
Erin the Marine Wife... this one is for you.
#94... "Its Not Over" by Daughtry (2006)
Dude, Chris Daughtry is kinda cool... and just about EVERY woman I know loves them some Daughtry, especially Erin the Marine Wife. Holy crap does she love her some C-Dah...
This is a pretty good song, and truly, he's kinda easy to like. And probably the most successful non-winner of American Idol, Jennifer Hudson's Oscar aside, Chris Daughtry has this cool voice that sounds like, if Scott Stapp from Creed and Chad Kroeger from Nickelback hooked up and somehow fathered a child, with some Three Doors Down lead singer guy thrown in there, it would be Chris Daughtry. Just sayin'.
Seriously, though... is this the 94th best song of the decade?
#93... "Here It Goes Again" by OKGo (2006)
Alright... this speaks to this indy/emo/non-radio kind of bands that became huge in the last ten years, getting fame not from Spinderella kickin' it up one time (that's Disc Jockeys who used to play the songs on the airwaves, to help you young folk with your new fangledy Spotify and Pandora and crap) but rather through digital media, YouTube, websites and so on. Bands like OKGo, Panic! at the Disco, TV on the Radio, and even artists like Jack Johnson, and such.
I'll be honest with ya... you could toss out ten songs and say, "Nine of these are OKGo and one is Panic! at the Disco, pick the Panic! song" and I'd probably fail miserably. They all sound alike.
And I'll go on record and say the ONLY reason this song is on this list is because of that dancing treadmill routine in the video. Very cool routine, song is not memorable.
#92... "Low" by Flo Rida feat. T-Pain (2007)
While I don't have much to say about this song, I like how this one guy on the show discussing this song is wearing a shirt that says, "Negroes On Ice". Yes, he's black. But I'm not sure that anyone but a black dude could wear that shirt.
This song was featured in "Tropic Thunder" when Les Grossman (Tom Cruise) was welcoming us to "The Goody Room."
#91... "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed (2007)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one likes this song. Stop nodding. You don't like it either.
If I'm sitting on a hilltop, stretching my arms and singing about Campbell Isaiah, you freakin' punch me in the face, because I'll deserve it.
Oh. So that's a Mystikal. Hm.
#90... "Shake Ya A**" by Mystikal (2000)
Wait.. what?
What the heck is a Mystikal?
How did this rank above "Its Not Over" by Daughtry? This might be the worst song I've heard since #91.
Funnily enough, I looked up the Mystik Man himself on Wiki, and read about his brief career, his feuds with other rappers, and his prison time for extortion and sexual assault of his hair stylist, among other things.
Then I read where, upon release from prison, he talked about how all success he had seemed like a dream, and how he now wants to come back... then he says, "...but now watch how I shake things up -- I want reparations." Really? Your forced yourself upon your hairstylist and YOU think you are owed payment? Really? What an idiot.
Were I rapper, I think I'd have to find myself a feud to make a name for myself. I'd probably try to stir some crap up with rappers I know I could out-dis, like Ja Rule, Common and maybe Will Smith, who just seems too nice. I'd dis them in my rap songs titled, "Ja Rule Ain't No Gangsta" and "Common is a Homo N****". But I'd stay away from anything having to do with Suge Knight, because I don't want to get shot. Or eaten.
Let's move on.
#89... "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. (2007)
How old am I? I've never even heard of this song... what is an M.I.A.? Is she related to Mystikal?
This makes me fearful that I'm going to hear Ke$ha somewhere on this list, which might shoot the credibility of this entire countdown in the foot.
This is a horrible song! This is the worst song I've heard since #90... and #91!
#88... "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne (2003)
Now THIS is a memorable song. When you meet someone named Stacy... or Tracy... or Lacy... or Gracie... or any other "acy" name, don't tell me that "...mom has got it going on..." doesn't pop into that head.
I don't know if it works this way in bigger cities, but in small towns it seems like there is one mom that all the guys--from about age 12 to 15--are like, "dude... Mrs. (insert Mom name here) is so pretty!" or "hot!" or "awesome". Yes, there was one in Samson too. And my buddies and I, all 13 years old, all thought she was gorgeous. Her son was/is a good guy, but I always felt bad for him with the whole, "Dude, stop looking at my mom!" thing.
#87... "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness (2003)
This song frakkin' rules. Its a complete homage and/or parody of all that crazy hair metal from the late 80s... channeling Slaughter and Winger and Warrant and early Poison and Damn Yankees and all that crap, I feel like this song brought a Hair Band Education to the kids of today. My brother in law Tyler so dug this song.
And the video, with the Freddie Mercury falsetto rocking out, is awesome.
#86... "Jaded" by Aerosmith (2000)
Hey, look, its Aerosmith with a song that sounds like a ton of their other songs! Probably one of my least favorite Aerosmith songs. Try "Love in an Elevator". Much better.
#85... "I Try" by Macy Gray (2000)
I don't even know what to say about this song. I mean... it sucks. It just does. Toss it in the Mystikal pile. Wait... Macy Gray... isn't her career... M.I.A.? Ha! See what I did there?
#84... "In the End" by Linkin Park (2004)
This is a great driving song. I love how they got the rap going on with the rock... "I try so haaaaard... and got so faaaar... in the end, it doesn't even maaaaatter...."
I really dig this tune... not much of their other stuff, but this one is cool. Probably one of my 500 favorite songs of all time... wait... I don't own this song? What? What the...?
(click over to iTunes... type "Linki" and "Linkin Park" comes up. Click on "Linkin Park". Scroll and see "In the End" for $1.29. Purchase. Done.)
Yes I love technology... but not as much as you, you see... yes, I love technology... now and forever...
#83... "Untitled (how does it feel)" by D'Angelo (2000)
So, like, D'Angelo is this one hit wonder from the cusp of the decade that sang this sensual, sexy, somewhat kinda silly song, all R&B and such, nothing you haven't heard from Ralph Tresvant or Johnny Gill or the like. I'm not saying its a bad song, but its not anything revolutionary.
It was the video, however, that gives this song its popularity. D'Angelo is cut and chiseled to body perfection, and he shows it off. All of it. The video just him singing, black background contrasting his dark skin, and he's pretty much nekkid. And chicks went crazy over this. And the dudes were like, "Dude, man, put a freakin' shirt on at least. Put some pants on, for the love!"
I would imagine if D'Angelo had actually sung "You're Beautiful" while doing this same video, women worldwide would have spontaneously combusted.
#82... "Unwell" by matchboxtwenty (2003)
Perhaps its just my soft-rock preference, perhaps its just that I like a good singer/song writer, perhaps I just enjoy a guitar, a band and a good voice like Rob Thomas has... either way, I dig this tune.
Go back to the Greatest Songs of the 90s, and at #48 is one of my all time favorite, Top 25 songs ever, "3am"... "Unwell" isn't as good as that one, though this is singable, its meaningful and the opening with the banjo is great.
By the way, do you remember when they went from Matchbox 20 to matchbox twenty? They weren't crazy, they were just a little unwell. I know, right now, you can't tell.
(in leading to commercial, Vh1 just informed me, during a segment about 2000s artists wearing fedoras, that Ne-Yo has made at least 12 music videos with fedoras in them. That means that he has done over 12 videos, just a dozen of them have fedoras. My point is... when did Ne-Yo put out 12 singles?")
#81... "The Rising" by Bruce Springsteen (2002)
See, this is hard because this song came out after, and partly because of, 9/11. As an homage to the NYFD, its an emotional, powerful song that to me, is a pretty good song, but mostly because of its origins. However, I must say that the dude from OKGo just tried to tell me that "It was the first musical response to 9/11..." and I say, "Bullcorn to that poppycock..." I would give that crown to Alan Jackson and his version of "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning", a much better song. Dubya Rulz! Obama's a foolz!
#80... "Get Low" by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz feat. Ying Yang Twins
When your artist name is six times as long as the song you are singing, it might be time to drop a few ampersands and feature tags. Just saying.
Didn't Flo Rida already do this song? Wait, that was "Low"... so this song is helped the birth of Crunk, I guess. And I think this might be the song that Sandra Bullock was shaking her Mystikal too in "The Proposal" around the fireplace... maybe?
YYEAYAHH.... OHHHKAYYY!!
#79... "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias (2001)
This song sucks. Got nothing else to say.
The video had Mickey Rourke in it, and he kills Enrique in it, so the video has some redeeming qualities. And it has Jennifer Love Hewitt. So, when the video comes on, just hit mute.
#78... "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's (2006)
This proves the power of a dude and his guitar. What a great, great song. Its catchy, its soft and its fun to sing.
I always thought if Factor 7 would have hit it big, it would have been with a song like this, with Drew Morris plucking a guitar and Brad Latta softly singing.
#77... "This Is How You Remind Me" by Nickelback (2001)
Remember the days before Nickelback became a punchline? Back when all their songs didn't sound so much alike, because you only had a few songs to compare? And how crappy do you feel if you are Nickelback and over 50,000 people sign a petition to keep you from singing at an NFL Game halftime show?
Poor Nickelback.
I'VE BEEN WRONG
(bom bom)
I'VE BEEN DOWN
(bom bom)
TO THE BOTTOM OF EVERY BOTTLE
Say what you want, this song rocks.
#76... "Live Your Life" by T.I. feat. Rihanna
Okay, I'll admit it... this song is kinda fun. Sorta. Though it makes me think about "The Hangover", in which is was prominently.
Speaking of Mystikal, back to the stupid name thing, I don't have a problem with T.I.... its the fact he has an alter ego named T.I.P. What does that even mean? And T.I. and T.I.P., being the same person, are different that T-Pain, right? I should get my gangstas straight.
#75... "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw (2004)
Let me tell ya, in 2004, this song was EEEEEEVVVVVEERRRRYYWWWHHHEEEERRRREEE.... you could not turn around without hearing this song. Every other American Idol contestant sang this song, and I kept expecting Ryan Seacrest to tell us, "And next week, its "I Don't Wanna Be" week, where EVERY remaining Idol will sing this song. Twice!"
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. Uh... me too? Me either? I dunno how to answer that.
Much, much better.
#74... "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire feat. Krayzie Bone (2006)
I'll be transparent and say that I cannot, for the life of me, hear this song and not only think about, but replace lyrics with, the song "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al, picturing Donny Osmond dancing in the background, Judy Tenuta on the couch and Seth Green showing off his Star Wars figures.
If there is any justice in this world, "White and Nerdy" would be on this list somewhere.
Oh, and shout out to Krayzie Bone, from Bone Thugs N Harmony, representin'... boo ya. Or something.
#73... "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
Dude, early Nelly Furtado, that "Fly Like a Bird" and "Follow Me Down" junk--hated it. It was horrible. However, Nelly Furtado 2.0 with "Say It Right" and this song... okay, basically anything where Timbaland is involved... I freakin' love me some Nelly Furtado 2.0.
This song Rules with a Capital R. I think of OKGo joined with Timbaland, I'd listen. Especially if Nelly Furtado was singing lead. Love me some Furtado.
#72... Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet (2003)
Awesome song. Just crazy, funny rock and roll, stupid lyrics, gangly band, and all kinds of a party going on. This was an awesome driving song. Makes me want to shake my head around to and fro... well, not while driving, mind you.
(just realized I didn't have this song in my music library... so naturally, I went to iTunes and paid the 69 cents... but along the way, I made an important discovery. Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band now has ALL their major hits available. This is a big deal because "Rock & Roll Never Forgets" was not available--until now. And so not only did I pick up a great little rock tune from 2003, I picked up one of the all time classic driving songs ever. I rule)
#71... "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat (2007)
Gotta say, I love me some Colbie Caillat. Like, she makes my life better. And this song started it all. She's so darn cute, and she's got this incredible coffee house voice...
And her CDs only get better and better. Colbie is so great... and did you know she auditioned for American Idol, WITH THIS SONG, and didn't make it! So, she used MySpace, back when anyone actually used MySpace. Love love love this song.
#70... "Run It!" by Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana
Can't beat Chris Brown. Just ask Rihanna. Ha! (too soon?)
Oh, the song? Eh. I'm not entirely convinced that he and Ne-Yo aren't actually the same person, kind of like a T.I./T.I.P. thing.
#69... "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence (2003)
This is a very good song, though it suffered greatly from the "overplay" that happens when great song becomes a very popular great song and radio stations feel the need to play the absolute crap out of it. I think its a reflection of how short our attention span is--and how we listen to the radio for about, oh, three minutes, so they have to play the popular songs over and over to keep you listening...
So you had this awesome chick singing and this dude rapping and this chick turns around and starts belting out the melodrama, and its just so cool.
#68... "Stand Up" by Ludacris feat. Shawnna (2003)
Holy crap do I love this song. Don't get me wrong, I like Luda, but I'll admit he's very, very dirty sometimes, and I don't listen to his filthy stuff... but talk about a party anthem? And that video is freakin' awesome... midgets... chicks eating fried chicken... babies peeing... big afros... and boy does Luda love him some fried chicken and thick women.
#67... "Bleedin' Love" by Leona Lewis (2007)
If music could be a contagious disease, this song would be an epidemic. Now, that's not to say its bad, but its catchy and it spreads and its AWESOME. She'll never have another hit like this--this is what she'll forever be known for. And that's not a bad thing.
Keep bleedin', keep keep bleedin' love... you cut me open and I... (its in your head now, ain't it? It should be)
#66... "Drop It Likes It Hot" by Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell (2004)
Catch phrase alert! Catch phrase alert!
Its like Snoop comes into relevance about every five years with some stupid song that sucks you in and makes you repeat it over and over, then he disappears, then comes back in another five years. Snoop is a legend.
I feel like Pharrell is a cheaper version of Timbaland. Get in the welfare line, get your buttah, your cheez, and your rap producer.
#65... "Try Again" by Aaliyah (2000)
More Timbaland! So, even though I don't know a lot of her music, I dig Aaliyah. Perhaps it was her Oscar nominated turn in "Romeo Must Die", one of my 250 favorite movies of all time. No, seriously, I love the crap out of that movie.
RIP Aaliyah.
#64... "I'm Real (murder remix)" by Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule
What in the world happened to Ja Rule? Wasn't he supposed to be huge? I feel like that Ja Rule and Mystikal are hanging at a crib somewhere. And T.I. will join them in the "No Career Anymo'" support group.
This song is kinda fun, but annoying after a while. Kinda like Jennifer Lopez, who, for my money was at her peak with "Waiting for Tonight" from the album "On the 6". After that, not so much.
And by the way, should I be disturbed that there is a version of "I'm Real", then there is a remix of "I'm Real" called "The Murder Remix?" Just curious.
#63... "Party Hard" by Andrew WK (2001)
Who the...
What the heck is...
I mean, I've never heard this song... I've never heard OF this song...
Maybe I'm just old. The Lovely Steph Leann has joined me in this viewing, and is staring blankly at the television. She shrugs, says, "Geez..." and turns back to her Nook.
Who is Andrew WK? Is he related to Louis CK?
#62... "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne
So, I'm not actually equipped to enjoy this song properly. (A) I'm not a chick... (B) I'm not an 11 year old chick... (C) I don't go to the mall... (D) I don't live in the rough suburbs of Canada...
And I feel like Avril peaked here. She kinda took herself too seriously after this, and tried to hard to be a "real artist". It is kinda catchy, though.
#61... "Milkshake" by Kelis (2003)
Holy crap does this song suck. I mean, like, hard.
However comma
I have been known to drop the line, "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..." for no apparent reason.
But this song does still suck.
#60... "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha (2009)
Speaking of suck...
Someone told me the other day there was something they liked about Ke$ha... I asked, "What?" and they replied, "She knows she's not very good, but she just does her thing anyway."
Okay, you know what... I kinda like this song. And I hate hate HATE myself for saying that. Forget I said that.
(for the record... I just bought the song on iTunes. I don't even know myself anymore)
#59... "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake (2002)
This song is dadgum awesome... not just the song is cool, but because Timberlake is giving the middle finger straight up to Britney Spears. I mean, like, "Suck it, ho" with this song... even the video portrays the whole scenario between him and BritBrit, and how it all went bad.
The Lovely Steph Leann just got all philosophical and asked, "If they had stayed together... would he have turned into the playboy he is, and would she have gone off the deep end?" Deep stuff.
#58... "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz (2008)
Here's the word I use to describe this song: Pleasant.
Its so pleasant. It makes me smile, its peppy, its poppy, its happy, life is breezy easy wheezy beautiful and just... just so... pleasant.
I do dig me some Jason Mraz, though I like "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" and especially "You and I Both", which I just discovered The Lovely Steph Leann had never heard... so guess what we are listening to right now, as the DVR is on pause?
#57... "Family Affair" by Mary J. Blige (2001)
Oh. This song is called "Family Affair"? I seriously thought it was called "Dance For Me" or "Let's Dance For Me" or something like that. "Family Affair". Well, now you know.
However... "Real Love" is the ultimate Mary J. Blige. Ultimate. That is one of my favorite 100 songs of all time. This song? Yeah, its kinda okay.
#56... "Party (up in here)" by DMX (2000)
Y'all gon' make me looz my mine... up in heh, up in heh
Y'all gon' make me act ah foo... up in heh, up in heh
Who doesn't love this song? Well, okay, probably Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone). And maybe Marky Mark. And definitely The Lovely Steph Leann, who is trying to ignore the tv.
But I think its fun.
#55... "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers (2004)
Um... OKGo? Panic? TV on the Radio? Same thing?
The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up... "Hey! They play this in 'The Holiday'!"
#54... "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones (2002)
Talk about peaceful. Norah's voice is so sweet and beautiful and happy. And so is this song. I can hear this song anytime, and it makes me sway a little, light a candle and find a movie on The Hallmark Channel.
Norah Jones rulez.
#53... "All The Small Things" by Blink-182 (2000)
This was the early part of the decade version of the Panic/Killers/OKGo soundalikes... Blink-182, Sum 41 and a slew of other bands that are sorta punky, sorta poppy, sorta dorky and sorta ska-ish. I mean, what can I say about this song... I like it when I hear, and now that the segment is over, I already forgot about it.
#52... "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean (2006)
Now, I'm in the minority of people that isn't all into Shakira, nor do I find her hips all that fascinating. Yes, she can move them, but I know someone who can do belly dancing, and those hips are much better. Um... should I have said that? Never mind.
She looks like a hula dancer on a dashboard.
#51... "Pocket Full of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield (2008)
If "Bleedin' Love" was the sad, melancholy song that stuck in your head for a few hours, this song is the peppy one that takes over your mind for flipping DAYS.
It will forever be associated with Emma Stone in "Easy A", a great, great film.
I gotta pocket gotta pocket fulla sunshine I gotta love and I know that it's all mine whoa... oh whoa oh... (everybody)
TAKE ME AWAAAAAAYYYY
THE SWEET ESCAAAAAAPE
TAKE ME AWAAAAAAYYYY
#50... "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift (2009)
Here's my man card. You'll be asking for it anyway when I tell you...
I FRIKKIN LOVE THIS SONG. Probably in my Top Ten of the entire decade.
And the video? Snobby Taylor vs. Nerdy Taylor... One of my favorite ten favorite videos of ALL TIME.
And I can sing. Every. Single. Word. of this song. Cause I just dig it.
#49... "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga (2009)
I was wondering when we'd getting to Gaga. This is a great song, a fun song, as long as you don't actually have to look at her. I'm afraid if I saw this, or any, of her videos in their entirety, I'd have to seek help.
There are all these people trying to give their opinions on the artistry and genius of the video and how its done and the costumes and such, and I wonder if anyone gives thought to the idea that maybe, just maybe, Gaga is like, "Hey, what can we do that makes no sense whatsoever? Like, the least amount of sense possible. Let's do that."
So I choose not to watch Gaga videos. There are some things you can't un-see.
#48... "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon (2009)
Oh yeah, its the Kings of Leon and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
#47... "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya and P!nk (2001)
First... I liked "Moulin Rouge" very much. Second, this song has sentimental value because before we even started dating, one of the key things I learned from The Lovely Steph Leann was the exact pronunciation of "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir), voulez vous coucher avec moi". I couldn't say it for the life of me, and she graciously walked me through it. Its the little things, really.
The third thing about this song that makes me laugh is at the end, when they are all singing, "Marma-laaaade.... marma-laaade..." and each chick gets her own little riff to let those vocals flow... Christina does it. P!nk does it. Mya does it. And Lil' Kim? All she gets out is "uh uh uh uh uh uuuuhh...."
And this video? Its like the word "slut" threw up all over the camera. Cause they are singing about hookin'. Decide for yourself how you feel about that.
#46... "Picture" by Kid Rock with Sheryl Crow (2002)
How did this song even work? Like, Kid Rock is this obnoxious rocker rapper dude that drinks beer and smokes crack and bangs chicks and don't give no rip... and Sheryl is a chick with a guitar. And yet, this song works. Works really, really well.
In fact, take out the fact that they played this song 3,877 times a day (in between "Bleedin' Love"), and the fact that they played this on rock stations and country stations and soft rock stations and everywhere else... take that out, and really... this is a great, great song.
#45... "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" by Eve feat. Gwen Stefani (2001)
This song is so stupid.
But I love it.
What can I say? I dig me some Gwen Stefani. Even that stupid Hollaback crap--I love it. So, even though Eve is a no talent cricket biscuit, Gwen makes up for her completely.
#44... "Californication" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (2000)
These guys have been around for 34 forevers, and will be around for another 34 more, I'm sure. And this song is awesome. And even after all this time, Flea is still an idiot.
#43... "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry (2008)
Ladies and gentlemen, America's favorite Pastor's Daughter Rocker Bad Girl! Former Christian music singer (and she wasn't that great as Katy Hudson) joined the pop culture identity with this ode to the Lesbaterian Church. Personally, not a fan of this song, lesbian themes aside.
However...
#42... "Drops of Jupiter (tell me)" by Train (2001)
...this song I am totally all about. Probably one of my 50 favorite songs of all time, and Top Ten of the Decade for me, easy. Its so much fun to sing along to, and "Love, Pride, Deep Fried Chicken" was a serious consideration for the name of this here blog.
Now, I can tell you that I'm not sure what its actually about... but ya wanna know how I won The Lovely Steph Leann? I promised her the best soy latte that she'd ever had... and me. Too bad she doesn't like soy.
Man I love this song.
#41... "Trapped in the Closet" by R. Kelly (2005)
Where do I even begin with this song? Like, seriously? This song is so long, its has CHAPTERS... like, almost two dozen of them. Its so bizarre, so weird, so rambling, so meandering, nothing but R. Kelly telling a story of infidelity and jail and the ghetto and other stuff from about 40 different perspectives, including the perspective of being trapped in the closet.
Its an R&B soap opera, and I don't say that as a joke. And somehow, someway, I'm completely entertained by the entire thing.
By the way, Weird Al's "Trapped in the Drive Thru" is even better.
Welp, that's Part 1 of The Greatest Songs of the 2000s, at least according to Vh1... look out for Part II coming very soon, as soon as I watch it and blog it... and I hope for darn sure its got some better stuff than some of this junk we've seen already. For every Coblie or "Drops of Jupiter", there are like, 5 M.I.A.s and a Mystikal. Stay tuned.
The Lovely Steph Leann and myself are in the living room of The Cabana, fresh off a dinner at the garden where I guess they grow the olives. Pretty good Shrimp Portofino, she had soup, we had dessert, and are now in the woes of fullness, on the couch and recliner. The guys? Todrick... Aaron.. Jermaine... Tim Urban.. Joe... Tyler... Lee... John... Big Mike... Alex... Casey... and Andrew...
Simon puts it plainly... "if you lose it tonight, or forget the words, your career is over..."
Todrick Hall, 24, from Arlington, TX, was the guy who wrote and sang his own little song. Tonight, he's doing an R&B version of "Since U Been Gone", starting out with a Boyz II Men'esque narration. And this might the be most original version of any song I've heard so far this evening. My man is busting it...
Not sure if the vocals are perfect, but the energy is up, and its a fun version of an already fun song. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Pretty cool", and America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres is all smiles. She thought the chorus was a little rough, but loved the performance. Randy the Dawg is one of those that has been saying "make the song your own!", as is Kara the Hotness... and yet, they both sit here and say, "I didn't recognized that song, that was a crazy arrangement..." Simon didn't like it either, saying, "You murdered the song." I kinda liked it. So there.
Aaron Kelly, 16, from Sonestown, PA, is the youngest guy in the contest this year. He's singing Rascal Flatts "Here Comes Goodbye", which as a huge Rascal Flatts fan, The Lovely Steph Leann picked up immediately. He sings, he finished, I'm underwhelmed. "You could tell he was nervous, but it was good," The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up.
Simon says, "It was quite a good performance." Kara the New Hotness says, "You have no idea how great your talent is." Randy the Dawg says, "You got all those pipes..." And Ellen the Talk Show Host says, "You'll be here a long time."
Personally, I think Jermaine Purifory should be here, not Jermaine Sellers... but Jermaine Sellers it is. He's 27, from Joliet, IL, singing "Man in the Mirror" during an audition, and seemed like he was blaming the band.
He's singing "Get Here" by Oleta Adams, one of those tender, soft, precious songs that has to be very, very hard to sing. How's he doing? Eh. Just eh. The original is by far and away better.
Ellen says she loves his look, she loves the song, but felt that he was only singing the song as a performance and not really feeling it. Randy the Dawg said he loved the song, but the song seemed too old for him, and that The Wrong Jermaine was trying to do too much with it. Kara the New Hotness agreed with Randy the Dawg. Simon the Cowell says it sounded like a cocktail piano bar song, and that he was trying to oversing it.... The Lovely Steph Leann nods her head.
Up next is Tim Urban, 20, from Duncanville, TX, a dude I know very little about. I have to give a nod to Erin the Marine Wife, as we discovered that Big Mike isn't the one who was cut (his father did tell people, and caused some trouble), it was a guy named Chris Golightly who was cut for unspecified reasons. Anyway, Tim "Not Keith" Urban got the call, and is on the show now.
"Apologize" by OneRepublic is the song... The Lovely Steph Leann groans, "I hate this song." Poor KT, she's missing this, as this is her favorite song of all time. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the song either. Hitting the high notes on "tooooo laaaaateeeeee" wasn't good for Tim "Not Keith" Urban...
Simon says, "Congrats for coming back, but based on that performance, we made the right decision the first time when we cut you." Kara the New Hotness said the music just swallowed him up. Randy the Dawg said it was just the wrong song all the way around. Ellen the Talk Show Host says it was smart to choose a song that people like, but it just didn't sound good. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I do like him better than I do that Ashley Rod girl..."
Joe Munoz, 20, from California, another guy we don't know alot about, another guy who did "Man in the Mirror" during Hollywood Week. Joe the Latin Lover is doing "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz, one of my Top 250 songs of all time. And Joe the Latin Lover seems to be doing quite well... maybe a little safe, but he's not trying to do too much with it, he's not trying to oversing it, he's just doing the song the way I would have done it, were I able to sing. Which I am not. Not that I don't try. Its a song that has over 40 plays on the iPod, so I've sung it loud before...
Ellen the Talk Show host liked the song, liked the performance... Randy the Dawg says, "Not for me for you, for me, for you, for you, for me, you worked it." Kara the New Hotness didn't expect him to sing this song, but loved it. Simon the Cowell says, "I kinda agree... but not really. Based on that performance, I don't think you are a star."
Its Tyler Grady, 20, from Nazereth, PA, and this is a guy that The Lovely Steph Leann adores. She says, "I'm going to hush, because I don't want to say anything to jinx him!" He's singing, perhaps to The Lovely Steph Leann, the big hit by The Guess Who?, "American Woman".
This seems like a song that the band would love to play onstage. None of that pansy Oleta Adams, "Get Here" crap, oh, nay nay... let's rock it out with some 1970 Guess Who? music baby. Dig it.
As for the song, its not bad. Its not great. Its... well, eh. I said, "He seems like he's shouting alot of it," and The Lovely Steph Leann defends him by saying, "Well, that's much of the song...." Simon the Cowell said the song was a bit cliche and unnatural. Kara the New Hotness says he has a frontman personality, but isn't keen on the 70s gimmick. Randy the Dawg says they've seen this from him already, they want something more. Ellen agrees, telling him he needs charisma.
Lee Dewyze, 23, from Chicago, IL, and is a paint clerk. But now, he's a guitar playin' Idol hopeful. He was the rockin' kind of guy singing "You Found Me", which was awesome in Hollywood Week. He's singing Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars", which seems like a song right in his wheelhouse.
His shirt says "Weapon of Choice", which makes me like him already. His vocals aren't perfect, but he almost seems like the most normal, down to earth guy out of the entire roster. Ellen the Talk Show Host says she thought it was a good song choice, though he seemed like he screamed a little bit. Randy the Dawg didn't like the song choice at all, wishing he had gone a little harder. Kara the New Hotness didn't like the really small range of the song. Simon the Cowell says, "I thought this was the best performance of the whole night so far."
The judges mention that he should do a Kings of Leon song. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Uh... I don't know who those people are..." We're old.
Up next is John Park, 21, from North Park, IL, who was praised by Shania Twain to the point where it was almost creepy.
"God Bless This Child", a jazz classic, is what he's singing... I think, actually. He sings the first four lines, and until he gets to the chorus, I didn't know he was singing English. I thought this was perhaps a foriegn song, along the lines of La Bamba. I look at The Lovely Steph Leann and say, "I didn't understand any of those first lines... did you?" She shakes her head no.
He sounds pretty good, but mumbles a whole lot. Simon the Cowell tells him that he needs an incredible voice to sing that song, and he doesn't. Zero emotion. Flat. Kara the New Hotness calls it loungy and sleepy. Randy the Dawg said he liked the runs and bridge, but beyond that, not much else. They all tell him he's got a voice, but bad selection. Ellen the Talk Show Host says that was a song that is not going to get the girls to vote for him. I agree... didn't like the song, didn't understand the song, didn't think he was all that great.
Michael Lynche, 26, from St. Pete, Florida, the birthtown of The Lovely Steph Leann. Big Mike was featured during Hollywood Week because his baby girl was born that very same week.
Big Mike is singing "This Love" by Maroon 5. He looks like a linebacker, holding his guitar, not really sure if he's even playing it, and singing the song. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Its a little nasal", but I kinda like the performance. And she likes it too, despite the nasally quality that she's hearing.
How in the world did Big Mike & Joe the Latin Lover end up having two of my favorite performances tonight?
Ellen loves his personality, loved the song choice and love the performance. Randy the Dawg likes him, his persona and the song. Kara the New Hotness says, "It was little depressing until you came up here and did your thing". She admits if there had been lots of great performances, they might be more critical, but since there hasn't been, they won't be. Simon, however, calls him an opening act. I liked him.
Alex Lambert, 19, from Texas, is a high school student. At 19? Anyway, he's the guy who was stuck in Mary Powers group, and in a video flashback, she says cheerfully, "I'll never be in this guy's group again" and he says, "I hate you."
Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert is singing some James Morrison, a guy I just don't know much music from. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "He kinda reminds me of that Firefly Owl City guy." I can see that... Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert has this raspy kind of voice, and the makings of what seems like a baby mullet going on.
Simon the Cowell says, "I don't know who was happier for that to end, me or you." He says Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert has to get his nerves together, and that he's a good singer. Kara the New Hotness says he's got crazy tone, and that he sounds alot like James Morrison, but its not all together yet. Randy the Dawg likes him, as does Ellen, who makes a mullet observation, then tells him he's like a banana that is not quite ripe enough yet. Uh... okay...
And here comes Casey James, 27, from Fort Worth, and we hope he keeps his shirt on. "Heaven" by Bryan Adams is his song of choice. Sitting on a stool, plucking his guitar, he kinda sounds like a... well, a singer. A good singer in a coffeehouse or a small concert. Kara the New Hotness was the one who asked him to take his shirt off, and Idol has played up this whole, schoolyard "Kara likes Casey!" angle, which is sort of goofy. Of course, she is only 39, 40 this year, so who knows?
Kara the New Hotness says, "I'm married, thank you!" and Randy the Dawg says, "For now!" Kara is all kinds of being weird and stuttering and such... Randy the Dawg liked the song choice, the swagger, and says, "I liked you too, but not in that way!" Kara the New Hotness says, "Seriously, though... you are eye and ear candy." Simon the Cowell says, "Casey, we were both cursed with good looks. You chose the right song, it was honest, it was good..."
Seacrest says, "Remember, tomorrow is the results show, and Friday is Kara's HR meeting..."
Oh, just an aside... apparently, as I just learned, "Casey James" is also the name of an adult film star. So if you Google "Casey James", make sure you add the words "American Idol", and then make sure your search filter is on. Cause... well, trust me. Eeew.
Now, to close out the show, its Andrew Garcia, 24, from Moreno Valley, California. He's this squatty Hispanic guy with square glasses, who got all teary eyed when he found out he was headed to the Top 24. He's a guy I hope does well.
Fall Out Boy's "Sugar We're Going Down" is what he's singing, and like several others, chooses to do the guitar route. Andy Garcia is taking a song that just about everyone knows, and puts a new spin on it.
Simon the Cowell says, "I was looking forward to hearing you the most tonight, but you disappointed me." And I kinda agree. It was a decent arrangement, but not a great peformance. Kara the New Hotness thought the rendition was strange, but she really likes him. Randy the Dawg didn't like the version, but is a fan of Andy Garcia. America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen says she's a fan as well, but tonights song wasn't great.
So, here's my rankings for tonight... Joe the Latin Lover... Casey James... Big Mike... Aaron Kelly... Lee Dewyze... Andy Garcia.... Todrick Hall... Tyler Grady... The Wrong Jermaine... Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert... John Park... Tim "Not Keith" Urban
So, if I'm picking the Dude Half-Dozen, to go along with the Chick Six, as of right now, I'm taking Joe the Latin Lover, Casey James, Big Mike, Andy Garcia and Lee Dewyze and as of right now, Todrick Hall.
Vacation is over! Its time to head to Denver... since I'm trying to cram in two nights into a quick recap, I'll go quick and give you the highpoints...
THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL
**Erin the Marine Wife swooned and possibly wee'd herself as they flashback to Daughtry, who auditioned in Denver some years ago. And really, who doesn't like Daughtry? I feel like, if Rob Thomas buffed up and became slightly more masculine, he might be Daughtry.
**Because they couldn't find another guest host, I'm sure, Posh Spice is back. The woman is a stick. Seriously. Nikki Brown could look at Posh and say, "Wow. I feel fat next to her."
**This guy named Mark say people call him Jack Black, though I think he looks like Jonah Hill. He sounds pretty good, too, doing "Tempted" by Squeeze. He goes to Hollywood.
**Some guy named Mario. I didn't get his last name, and it really doesn't matter.
Commercial break
**Is it bad that I get a laugh out of people who come out cursing, swinging at the camera and yelling because they didn't get picked? Not the ones who are just merely crying because they thought they had a shot, but those people who love to say stuff like, "They cut ME and they kept all them bad people!"
**Kimberly Kerbow. Love her. Love the song "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson, love her audition, I can dig it.
**Montage of what seems like 3,000 people who get Golden Tickets.
**Karaoke host (!) Danielle Hayes is up next. She's teary in the audition room, as she launches in "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge... this is the favorite song of The Lovely Steph Leann by the aforementioned musical lesbian (Melissa, not Danielle. Or The Lovely Steph Leann). She doesn't sound perfect, but she's got this raspy voice (Danielle, not Melissa. Or The Lovely Steph Leann.. more on voices later) that sounds great. I like her. (Danielle, I mean. Though I do like Melissa, particularly "Come to My Window". And The Lovely Steph Leann too.)
Commercial break
**Bad costume/outfit montage. While Kara the Hotness continues to be The Hotness, Posh has this weird hair thing going on. Plus, Randy the Dawg held up a pencil and you couldn't see Posh behind it.
**Backstore. Cindy Jo is openly weeping. Casey James is singing with a backstory. And somehow, he takes his shirt off.. at the judges request. Paula Abdul is spotted outside, holding a hotel key and begging to be let back in. Mark, the hubby of Cindy Jo, is openly weeping.
**So, like, is Denver full of good looking chicks, or are they just picking and choosing the eye candy. Tori Kelly is singing and... of course, I find out she's 16, and I'm a little creeped out at what I just said. Never mind. She sings John Mayer, isn't that memorable except for her fabulous hair, but she's on to Hollywood.
Commercial break
**Austin Paul. You know this is going to be bad, as the video clip portrays him as... well, a dumb jock. And a little egotistical. And it helps that he's singing, "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer. Can we spend more time on thos people who I enjoy hearing? Like, Kimberly Kerbow's version of "The Way I Am"? Anyway.
**He comes another guy, Kenny, who is the self-proclaimed "World's best singer" and they show him moving and dancing, and a few seconds later, failing. With the offer to sing something else, they shut him down. And after being shut down, he fulfills his own offer to sing something else.
Really, at no point in the decade of American Idol have any judge--Simon, Paula, Randy, Kristen Chenoweth, Posh, Tarantino, Shania, you name it, never has a single judge said, after initially saying, "Wow, you suck" then turned and said, "Wait, you sound great now! We're glad you decided to go ahead and sing another song even though we told you that you suck... here's your golden ticket now!". Never. Just sayin'.
Commercial break
**You know those drawings where they draw your face a little bigger than normal, and they tend to really accentuate features on your face, with a very tiny body in some weird outfit? Its pronounced Char-ick-a-chure, but I'm puzzled on the exact spelling... anyway, there was a girl who looked like a human version of one of those. Scary. Only slightly more scary than a scattin' Mexican.
**Nicci Nix. She flew from Florence, Italy, to audition in Denver. But I don't like her. How can you make such a judgement so soon, you ask? Her voice is really annoying. No, her singing is fine, but her talking?
Like, I went out with a girl that talked like that back in the single swingin' days, and I purposely didn't call her back for one reason--she was great, she was really pretty, she was Godly, and I had a good time... but she talked like Nicci talks. I mean, if I knew that she could have sung all the time, like "Heeey... I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make dinner!" or maybe "I-I-I-I-I will beeeee... at the deeeeentist office tomorrrrrooowww....", I might have called her back. But I couldn't have taken it.
Hey, don't hate. Thats a voice I'd have to hear for the next 50 years. That's why I think that you should enjoy kissing the one you end up with--that's a kiss you'll be getting for 99% of your mornings and evenings for the next four to six decades. If you are waiting til the alter to kiss, so be it, I tip my hat... but The Lovely Steph Leann has a great kiss, has a great voice and can make a mean Sweet Potato Casserole. There wasn't much left after that to mull over. I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.
Oh, and Nicci made it to Hollywood. Sigh.
Commercial break
**Finally, another Cindy Jo Weepy backstory, mostly about a dead dad not being able to see his daughter audition. And they are going through so much. And Haeley Vaughn wants to be the first black country star--hence, "Last Name" by Carrie Underwood--but I'm sure she's forgetting to mention (or perhaps too young to know and appreciate) Hootie himself, Darius Rucker, and of course, Charley Pride. And she's got a good voice.
And to wrap up, the final contestant of the day... a dude comes in wearing a bikini, and he's going to sing "Achy Breaky Heart". And the best move of the day, all four judges get up and walk out in the first line of the song (that he flubs, by the way).
From Denver, 26 make it to Hollywood, but out of the ones they showed, the only ones I really liked were Kimberly Kerbow, Danielle Hayes
We continue our countdown of the Coolest Things of 2009... and looking at the next ten, this might be the "Guilty Pleasurest" block of ten in the five year history of The Coolest List. Not all of them, but some. Several. And if you are on Facebook, flip on over to The Clouds and see the blog in its better glory.
80... Kate Winslet Gets an Oscar
Beyond The Goddess, beyond Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, a founding member of my own Colin Firth Club that The Lovely Steph Leann keeps tucked away is none other than British actress Kate Winslet. She'd been nominated six times for an Academy Award, but on Sunday, February 22nd, she finally got hers... in my running diary, I posted this:
1032p... KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS AN OSCAR!!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!!
1035p... We knew Kate Winslet would win this, but that doesn't make it any less freakin' awesome. KATE KATE KATE!!!
Needless to say, I was excited. Still am.
79... Pickler's New Album
For anyone who has read this blog longer than a few days, you'll realize a few things. First, Mama Gilmore is much more attractive than Daughter Gilmore. Secondly, Hootie & the Blowfish rocks. Third, I love stupid movies. Fourth, I eat lots of food. Fifth, I believe the Dixie Chicks only deserved a small part of what they got. Sixth, He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected is a one-term president. Seventh, if back massages were on Facebook, I'd hit the "dislike" button. Eighth, I will only watch "A Christmas Story" on Christmas Eve, and refuse to buy it. Ninth, Erin the Marine Wife is to be commended. Finally, I think Pickles is awesome.
Her first CD, "Small Town Girl", was pretty good for a post-Idol debut, better than even Kat McPhee's decently good CD. So, when Pickles second album came rollin' out, I went to Best Buy and I bought it. Yeah, I might be the only person you know that owns a Pickles CD, but hey, I dig it. Favorite track? The great, soarin' vocals of "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You". I would post a pic of Pickles here, but 1) I'm running out of good pictures to post for Idol blog references, and 2) not enough room for the above picture of Kate and the below picture of...
78.. Jon Thompson
One of the four guys I took with me to Walt Disney World(that trip to be ranked later), this dude cracked me up the entire time. Example... with five guys in a single room with two beds, I had to sleep next to someone. One of the guys slept on the floor. And Jon had to sleep with one of them. The one that Jon had to sleep with decided he would just sleep naked. Naturally, Jon had a real problem with this... so much so that he leapt out of bed, and started yelling things like, " Why would you do this? Why! Why can't you keep your shorts on? What the crap, dude?"
And, being guys, we all turned it around on him--telling him things like, "Settle down, go to bed" and "Seriously, its not a big deal." Personally, I totally agreed with Jon--who wants to sleep next to a naked guy? The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't even want that, and I'm her hubby!
He ended up sleeping next to his "bed-mate" who agreed to wear shorts. Later, I discovered that said bed-mate actually de-shorted during the night and re-shorted before Jon woke up. I think I laughed for quite a while as all this was going on.
He kept the riot going on the way back, marveling at the luck and blessed life of one Tyler Campbell, the bro-in-law, who won a randomly won a car and gave swimming lessons for like, $70 an hour. Jon? He worked at a screen printing shop that, after three years, "I'm somehow making less money than when I started! While I'm on the other side of the tracks, Tyler is over there living in the bourgeois!'. Course, bourgeois actually means "social middle class". Who knew. Jon rocks.
Out of all the movies I saw in 2009, I would rank this one somewhere in the middle. It was good, but it wasn't great. It had its moments, but like my original review, "...with this movie, you know what you are going to get... lots of historical figures making pop culture references, lots of funny action and Ben Stiller doing what he does best."
This movie itself doesn't make our list, but one of the two standout performances does--first, Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with. Secondly, and more importantly (for this movie, anyway), its Hank Azaria's absolutely hysterical performances. He "not only plays Kahmunrah to the hilt, leaving you convinced that he had a blast playing this part, but he also does the voice of the Brooklyn-accented Thinker sculpture and of Abe Lincoln, fresh out of the Lincoln Memorial." His Kahmunrah voice is especially great, slightly feminine and non-threatening, and he makes for the best part of the movie that doesn't include a redhead.
76... The Muppets Do Queen
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Beaker, Dr. Bunson Honeydew and the gang are making a comeback...
\
...and its awesome
75... "Hey" by Mitchell Musso
Uh... a fun song.. makes me kinda bouncy and... uh... its... um...
74... "High School Musical"
Um... I saw the movie off and on... we, uh, at The Happiest Place in the Mall we played... and... I really like the them song and... well... uh...
73... "The Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus
Uh... its... the movie was terrible but this... I like this song and uh...
Boom clap, boom de clap de clap, boom boom clap, boom de clap de clap, come on y'all, boom clap boom...
Everybody! Boom de clap de clap...
Boom boom clap?
Anyone?
(silence)
(crickets)
Let's move on, shall we?
72... ESPN's "30 for 30"
The concept is brilliant, really. To celebrate ESPN's 30th Anniversary, they brought in 30 different directors and/or directing teams from all walks of life, all lifestyles, all film styles, to direct 30 different sports documentaries on subjects near and dear to their own hearts.
The results thus far have been golden. First up was "King's Ransom", a mildly entertaining film about Gretsky's trade from the Oilers to the Kings, which I never knew was such a monumental, watershed moment for both Gretsky and the NHL... Peter Berg directed.
What followed was "Muhammed and Larry", chronicling the fourth bout between Ali and Homes, directed by Albert Maysles... "The Legend of Jimmy the Greek", about the slow rise and quick fall of a commentator legend, directed by Fritz Mitchell... "The Band That Wouldn't Die", an awesome look at the Baltimore Colts marching band that kept playing for over a dozen years after the Colts fled for Indy, directed by famed director Barry Levinson("Diner", "Good Morning Vietnam", "Rain Man").
The only one I really didn't like as much was "The U", directed by Billy Corben, scanning the Miami Hurricanes teams of the 80s... it showed the teams, the successes, but didn't really spend too much time into the real issues of the team's problems. Personally, I wished it would have talked about the crash of the program, not just the rise, but alas, I didn't direct it.
The two I loved, though? "Without Bias", directed by Kirk Fraser, about the incredible impact that the death of Len Bias had on the Boston Celtics. Two days after the NBA Draft, Bias dropped dead of a cocaine overdose, he not only altered our perception of casual drug use and became the tipping point of America's drug crisis in the mid-80s, but he practically ruined an already floundering franchise right as it was about to find a guy who they could build around.
Secondly, "Small Potatoes: Who Really Killed the USFL?", directed by Mike Tollin which showed the success of the USFL, attempting spring football, leaving the NFL in the fall--and they were doing pretty good with it... but it took a dive, due to over-expansion, bad management, and one Donald Trump who bought into the league, and wanted to immediately move it to the fall, taking on the NFL head-to-head. After a monoply & anti-trust lawsuit against the NFL, the verdict came back in favor of the USFL... in the form of a check for $3.76. The USFL went belly up. The documentary is made even better by the interview with Donald Trump, who ends up walking out on Mike Tollin.
Ahead are films on the legend of Steve Bartman... speedskater Johan Olav Koss... NASCAR driver Tim Richmond and the little disease that killed his career... and even one featuring Michael Jordan's suspension from the NBA for gambl... um, I mean, his retirement for two years to try out baseball. Oh, and Ice Cube puts his touch on a film about the Raiders. Good times.
71... Read the Rules, Shankapotomus
The Lovely Steph Leann prefers the one where the buddy "flexes the golden pipes", but personally, this is my favorite commercial of the year...
Coming up... An Idol goes Kanye... The Best Greek Film of the Year... and later, noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah...
Sorry 'bout the distruption, folks. But I always do the last dance of the season. This year, somebody told me not to. So this year, I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer; somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them; somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be.
I just got home from The Happiest Place in the Mall, after a hard night of providing magic and pixie dust to the masses, and sat down to do my usual flip-through on the interweb.
Tonight, for whatever reason, I just went to Facebook. And saw that Erin the Marine Wife had said something about "Patrick" and how she hates cancer. Well, she's had someone near and dear to her pass away from the dreaded Big C (even help start a foundation... check out the site), so I thought "hmm... she must know a Patrick who died. Sad."
Then, as I scrolled down the page, I figured out what was going on... the great Patrick Swayze, the great Bodhie, the great Sam Wheat, the great Dalton had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. And I know it sounds stupid, I know it sounds idiotic... but somewhere down deep inside of me, a little piece of my heart died too.
Patrick Swayze is in an elite group of actors that define my youth. My youth, in this context, starts in about 1984 when I was 9, just about old enough to remember most things I'd seen and heard, until about 1990, when the 80s where over, and I was not quite driving, but at least riding with my friends who could drive.
When I was little, I had a television in my room starting around 1986, an old Sears clunker that you had to actually set the channels on the television by flipping a little dial. The remote had three buttons... two of them turned the channels, the third was a larger square that raised the volume three times then turned it off. Push it again, it turns on at a low volume.
The next year, I got a VCR, and since we had HBO and Sho-time, and since I wasn't the most popular kid in the school and stayed home most weekends, void of party invitations, I watched movies. And listened to Open House Party on WKMX. And watched more movies. I learned how the VCR worked, and learned that if you tape it just right, you could put 3 full length films on a single tape under Lengthened Play. This allowed me to collect over 100 films in my little library.
Films of my youth, films that I watched over and over and loved and remembered (and perhaps I watch now and wince, but then in my naivety and easy-to-please-ness) include "Wall Street", and "Working Girl" and "Full Metal Jacket" and "Coming to America" and "Ghost" and "Next of Kin" and "Red Dawn" and had actors like Harrison Ford and Lea Thompson and Michael Douglas and Elizabeth Shue and... Patrick Swazye.
He was married to the same woman, Lisa Niemi for about 34 years, an unheard of amount of time compared to today's standards. I daresay you could take all the marriages of Britney, Angelina, Leann Rimes and anything Lindsay and Paris will ever do, put them all together and you'd probably never get the length and happiness that Patrick and Lisa probably had. 34 years.
He had his share of troubles to be sure, most Hollywood stars do... he did a stint for alcohol abuse, and he watched his career dry up in the 90s, forced to do silly things like "Waking Up In Reno" and guest spots on "Whoopi"... but you never, ever saw a news story where he was caught in the act with a hooker, or was found with five pounds of blow on him or was accused of assault or rape or decided that at age 57, he was going to get an earring in his ear, divorce his wife and hook up with a piece of re-bar with boobies (hello, Harrison Ford).
No, he kept at it. And he spent the last part of his life doing "The Beast" on A&E, and was such a professional that he refused painkillers when filming so as not to affect his work. It didn't garner huge ratings but, you know, it was enough for renewal--but it wasn't renewed, because A&E had to make the business decision based on the fact that... well, the end was coming. They knew it. I think Swayze knew it. For anyone who was paying attention, we all knew it. But we weren't ready for it.
I wasn't.
My Nine Favorite Patrick Swayze Performances... I was going to do 10, but looking at his IMDB page, I actually struggled to find 10. I kinda struggled to find 5. I mean, let's face it, the man was not DeNiro or Cary Grant... he really did some crappy stuff... but he good stuff he did was really, really good. And its not necessarily Oscar caliber stuff--but its entertaining, re-watchable, flippin' channels and wow, there it is okay i'm putting down the remote good. And that's really all we need from most movies, ain't it?
8. "Red Dawn" He plays a smaller part in this film, but I had to mention it.
7. "Next of Kin" If you had Swayze play Truman Gates, toss in Bill Paxton as his younger brother, toss in Liam Neeson as his older brother Briar, add some Chicago mafia, put in death-by-compound-bow and mix in some very very young and very, very unintentionally hilarious Ben Stiller, what do you think you would end up with? The glory known as "Next of Kin".
6. "Saturday Night Live" Sadly, both the main stars in this are now gone... to use a cliche, too soon.
5. "Black Dog" There is nothing about this movie I don't like. I couldn't bear to list it any higher than five on this list, only because I want some credibility, but really, Patrick Swayze driving a big rig, on the run from a Scripture quoting Meat Loaf... you just have to like it. You do. I do. Its on TheDave 100.
4. "Road House" You don't watch "Road House". You experience "Road House". Experience it for all its glory, for all its bad acting, for all of its terrible plot, for Kelly Lynch and the fact that when you were a kid she was a total babe but you look at her now and think "Really?", for old school cool Sam Elliot, for The Jeff Healey Band singing "Angel Eyes" back when it was a great song (still is), for the fact the director's first name is Rowdy, for the fact the main character is a bouncer who does Tai Chi and smokes cigerettes and... for the fact its James Dalton. "Do you enjoy pain?" the doc asks. "Pain don't hurt," Dalton smiles.
Dalton takes out the trash
3. "Ghost" Man I love this movie. I'm not kidding. I love everything about this movie. Demi Moore is totally gorgeous, but in a girl-next-door sort of way, Whoopi Goldberg is likeable for one of the few times in her career, and Patrick Swayze is just cool. Even that creepy scene where you see the image of Sam Wheat making out with Molly, but if you think about it, its actually Swazye's ghost in Oda Mae Brown's body, which means that Oda Mae is making out with Molly and... eew. I'll stop before I move this movie down the list.
More comical now, back then, hell's demons were absolutely terrifying. Seriously.
2. "Point Break" As I sat here and stared at the words "Point" and "Break", I laughed out loud. I mean, where to even begin? This movie is terrible. Every thing about it is just terrible... but thats why I'm not a professional movie critic, I'm an average d$ who loves movies, and I love this film. When you have Swayze playing a surfer named Bodhi who robs banks using masks of presidents as a cover, how can it get any better? Well, I'll tell you... you throw in Keanu Reeves, in this "I want more serious roles! I'm more than just Ted and those stupid adventures!" phase of his career, and you name him Johnny Utah, and you make him say, "I AM A EFF BEE EYE AY-GENT!!!" That's how you make it better.
1. "Dirty Dancing" This isn't one of my favorite films. Oh, I like it, no question, but I'd probably watch "Point Break", "Black Dog" or "Road House" before I watched this... but you cannot deny the impact that this movie had on cinematic history. Its colossal, and as the years go by, it will only grow in stature. From Jennifer Grey's weird face that still looked hot, to the awesome soundtrack full of old and new classics (and "She's Like the Wind... through my trees... she rides the night... next to me...") to the infamous Lift to that song that no one admits liking but EVERYONE likes, "I've Had the Time of My Life" to "Nobody puts baby in a corner"... its classic. And not just that, but its a really good film. The acting is stellar, the storyline is great, the music is fantastic, and Swayze had possibly--and Grey had definately--never been better before or since.
And that part where he's dancing in the aisle, and he does the side-to-side step with all of his entourage dancing behind him? That looks soooooo easy to do, doesn't it? And you can't do it. I never could. Looked like a total moron. No joke. That's the Magic of Swayze.
By the way, I went to about fifteen different links on YouTube to find the last scene, and the links have all been removed. So click here and see the full "Had the Time of My Life" scene. You know you want to. You know you do. I just did. And it made me smile.
I tip my hat to you, Patrick Swayze. I know not your beliefs, but if you are walking the streets of gold showing Ruth and Mary Magdelene the Lift, then rest in peace, my friend.
