those hollywood nights, those big disney thrills

(As part of the #31DaysofWriting Challenge, we are challenged to write every single day.  Today, I'm going to cheat... well, sort of cheating... I took something that I wrote in 2011, and rewrote it, all about the trip that The Lovely Steph Leann & I took to Disneyland--not World, but Land.  I thought it was still good material, having been a draft post since June of 2011... so with the re-write, it totally counts for the daily challenge!) 


So back in May of 2011, The Lovely Steph Leann and I took a somewhat whirlwind trip (said me to her when we got back:  "that was a whirlwind trip... but then again, they all are, aren't they?") to Anaheim, California, to Disneyland--now, this is before Campbell Isaiah came along, though he was actually in The Lovely Steph Leann's tummy (or uterus, if we want to be exact).

We had a few free passes (thanks to our friends The Halperts & the Clarks) to work with, passes that would expire on May 28th of 2011 if they were not used.  We had a couple of Southwest flights to use, or they would expire, and we ended up using some Marriott points that The Lovely Steph Leann had accrued and saved over the years.  So, we flew for free, stayed for free and went for free, which makes for a nice weekend... I'd love to tell you we saved loads of money, but we just turned around and spent that money on important things like blankets, pins, a Boo plush and way too expensive corn dogs and lobster.  (but not together cause... well, eww).

We flew into LAX from Birmingham on a flight that left at 710 in the morning--Big Daddy Ron and Mama Ruthless picked us up at 545 and took us to The Birmingham International Airport & Package Store, and we were boarding within an hour of arrival.  The flight landed in Phoenix, though we kept the same flight.  (text from Hurricane Rhett, after I left a FB status that said "We are in Phoenix":  "What, did you lose a bet"?) We did end up dashing off the plane, though, to grab some lunch at the Airport Wendys and then back on the plane were we discovered the joys of the two seats by the emergency exit.

If you are willing to take the burden of the lives of 200 people on your shoulders in the .04% that plane goes down, sit by the emergency exit.  On our flight there (and the place back as well), there were two seats with extra leg room, instead of the cramped three seat row the rest of the plane dealt with.  I understood the risk and the lives (or loss thereof) of the passengers on the plane was an acceptable risk for us to have a little breathing room.

We arrived at LAX around 1130 in the morning, but due to the time change in flying west, the whole trip took about five hours or so... we came off the plane and into the terminal, I looked around in wonder as I was now in Los Angeles, the City of Angels, LA, LaLaLand, Hollyweird... and it looked... it looked... well, like an airport terminal.  Not an especially impressive one, at that.

After getting our luggage, we headed outside to catch a cab, which was a predetermined decision.  We didn't really look at shuttles because we were told by numerous people that shuttles and cabs would be about the same price, and a shuttle would stop at several different locations while a cab would take us straight there--we were headed to the Marriott Towne Place Suites in Anaheim, about a half mile from the stadium were the Anaheim Angels play, and about two miles from Disneyland itself. 

In not researching effectively like we should, we learned quickly two things when it comes to traveling via cab... first, its better to fly into a closer airport.  LAX is about 35 miles from our hotel, while John Wayne Airport is only about 20 or so.  Second, a shuttle is better.  You pay one price, set, per person.   This lesson was grounded into our brains as we watched the little fare meter tick up 30 cents at a time, every 1/9th of a mile.  One-ninth of a mile.  Thats about 3 bucks per mile.  For 35 miles.

To make sure we weren't being hornswoggled, I pulled up the GPS on my iPhone and punched in the address and map from LAX to Towne Place... Valerty Kozhevnikov (I didn't make that name up, and had to look at it about nine times when I typed it into a comment on Facebook) followed pretty much the same route as listed on my GPS, and my man was flying through some of it.  But nonentheless, the bill at the end, plus tip, topped out around $115.  Valerty didn't smile one bit the entire ride, nor really even speak to us besides, "What izz you travel to?" at the beginning... until he was unloading our luggage.  "You vacation?"  Yes, going to Disneyland.  "Yes, good place.  You have much fun."  Thank you sir.  Here is your fare.  "Thank you so much."  Big smile, and he was gone.

It was kind of a neat ride though... not for the cab itself, but to pass by all these signs representing streets and neighborhoods I hear about in pop culture... Compton and Long Beach, together?  Man, you know you in trouble.

Anyway, we checked in, it was a nice little room with a small living space (that we never sat in), a small kitchen (that we only used to keep a half full bottle of stale Coke and a partly sipped-out-of bottle of water cold), a bathroom that was functional and a bedroom that had a bed that was decently comfy enough for sleeping after walking a theme park...

...you have to understand something, though... if any of you were to call us from Disney World in Orlando, and say, "Hey, I'm standing facing Stitch's Great Escape, and I need to get to the Splash Mountain bathrooms... can you help me?" either me or The Lovely Steph Leann would quickly start in with, "Okay, so go left across the bridge and..."  But at Disneyland?  We have no clue.   At Disney World, we can easily navigate from pretty much any of the resorts, choosing to either drive (which we do to most parks except for Magic Kingdom) or take a boat (which we would if we were staying at Wilderness Lodge) or a bus (which we do sometimes if we are going to Magic Kingdom) or a monorail (perfect for getting to the Grand Flo, the Temp or the Poly)...

But Anaheim is a whole different animal.  Its a big ol' town nestled in a bigger ol' city, and unlike WDW, we were staying off-property, which means we were on our own when it came to getting around.  We discoverd the ART, the Anaheim Resort Transit system and for $16 bucks each, we bought five day passes that would allow us rides to the park at :20 after the hour and from the park at :40 after the hour.   Of course, this again is not what we are used to, because when we want to leave Hollywood Studios we... well, we leave.  We catch the boat to Epcot, or the bus to our resort, or we just hop in the car.  But suddenly we were on a time schedule to make sure we were in time to catch the bus to the park, or risk waiting another hour (or, heaven forbid, a cab ride), and we had to be back at the bus stop soon enough to catch the bus to the hotel, or risk being caught for another hour (or, heaven forbid, miss the last bus of the night and face a cab ride).

So, we get our luggage down, we get changed and take a little nap, and around 3pm (this is Pacific, ie, Cali time) we were up and getting ready for Disneyland.  We were at the bus stop at 320, and the bus pulled up about ten minutes later, which would prove to be a habit for these ART rides. 

Luckily, the bus stop is a mere three minute walk from the front gates of the park...

...but before I dive into our vacation, let me give you a little background on Disneyland, just so you'll know. 

I'm a nut for Disney history, and much of this info comes from Neal Gabler's excellent Walt Disney bio called simply, "Walt Disney", and some of it comes from just reading various blogs and listening to Disney podcasts and the like. (ps... this is before I became a Disney Travel Specialist... want me to plan your trip?  Gimme a call...)

Disneyland was a creation of Walt Disney, and legend has it that he was with his daughters one day in a park, and began to wonder why there wasn't a place for the whole family to go and have fun together.  Though passed off as fact, even in Wikipedia, this has never been substantiated, and Neal Gabler writes in the aforementioned bio that a number of his fellow animators and employees would say that Walt all told them his idea in a different way, and few of their re-tellings has Walt saying nothing about his family at the park.

What started out as a small idea for a "Mickey Mouse Park" soon evolved into a much larger plan for a "Walt Disney Land", soon shortened to "Disney Land" and then "Disneyland", and construction started in 1954.  The park opened for a "Press preview day" that invited the press and media, as well as celebrities from around the area and their families.  What was supposed to be a stellar day was a nightmare for Disney.  They were expecting around 10 to 12K people, but over 28,000 people showed up that day.  The asphalt was still so new that ladies high heels were sinking into the ground, the plumber's strike in the area barely got the restrooms working and left them without working water fountains.  The press saw this as a greedy attempt to sell more soda and reported it as such.

Since it was in July, it was hot, but the summer of 55 saw the temperature top 101 degrees, with vendors running out of food, attractions breaking down for part or all of the day, and even though only a certain number of tickets were given out, there were people with ladders propped up on the side of the wall offering anyone and everyone a chance to climb the ladder and get in for a few bucks.   The celebrities that were scheduled to show up actually had a schedule, where their arrival times were staggered all day... and yet, they showed up pretty much all at once.  July 17th, 1955 was called "Black Sunday" years later by Walt Disney and the company.

July 18th, however, could not have been smoother.  Things were working, the water was on, the food was there and over 50,000 people came in on the official "Opening Day".

Disneyland opened with five lands:  Tomorrowland, Adventureland, Fantasyland, Frontierland and Main Street USA, then added three more lands in the coming years, that being New Orleans Square (1966),  Bear Country, which then became Critter Country (1972) and Mickey's Toontown (1993).  There was a "Holidayland" that opened in 1957, but it closed in 1961, and is considered the "lost land" in Disney lore.

Disneyland is tucked in the heart of Anaheim with a nearby park, California Adventure (and I do mean "nearby", as I counted 207 of my footsteps from one gate to the other), and when you pull up, you can see immediately some differences.  Mostly that there is non-Disney businesses--hotels, restaurants, banks, touristy shops--tightly surrounding the parks.   Walt would later lament the fact that he wasn't able to buy a lot of land in the area, which led to the flurry of places opening up and trying to capitalize on the Disneyland patrons.  He felt that, if you can be on Dumbo's Flying Circus and look out and see a hotel sign, the fantasy, the illusion of imagination was ruined. 

It was this thinking that led him to a Disneyland East, eventually called "The Florida Project"... buying enough land in Central Florida so once you entered the Walt Disney World, you could completely immerse yourself in the experience without outside distractions. 

In 1991, an idea was floated around concerning a second park in California, notably "WestCOT", a California version of Epcot, but by 1995, those plans were all but abandoned.  A new park was in the works, though, and in 1998, the parking lot for Disneyland was pulled up and turned into Disney's California Adventure, which opened in 2001.

DCA was one of Michael Eisner's last big accomplishments before his ouster in the early 2000s, though it had a rocky beginning.  For one thing, many people felt the attractions and rides weren't up to normal Disney standards in both entertainment value and quality, with some critics calling the park "mediocre".  Over time, however, Disney removed some failing attractions and added in new ones, like The Tower of Terror, and of course The World of Color, that has revived the park and peoples interest in it.  Though coming in last in all of Disney's theme parks in the world rankings in 2009, it still finished as the 11th most visited park in the world.

In 2007, Disney announced a billion dollar renovation of the park which will included a new gateway, a transformation of part of the park to the 1930s style Hollywood, instillation of vintage red trolley cars, retheming Paradise Pier into a Victorian style turn of the century boardwalk park, and of course, the addition of Cars Land, starring McQueen, Mater and the gang.

So, there is your update. 


(And this is where it ends, which is good, because I don't remember the day to day of the trip, just that we had a blast... thanks for reading)

Reports from The Happiest Place on Earth

So, here's our Walt Disney World vacation for our 5th Anniversary, 2009. I tried to figure out the best way to tell it without rambling, but the best way really was just tell some stories. Read the ones you want, skip the ones you don't, but along the way, I'll give you some great Disney tips and perhaps some food reports too... it might be two columns, it might be four, who knows... but, here we go...

I love seeing Cinderella's castle at the beginning of any of my Disney vacations. The broad base and moat, the tall blue spires that reach towards the heavens in... well, for lack of a better term, a majestic fashion. I know the castle doesn't do this for everyone.



Different things excite different people. I could care less about U2, I think Rammer Jammer is stupid and though I can dig on "Hey Ya!", its not my favorite joint... but in the same way that Mikey gets excited when he hears the opening notes of "With or Without You" in a U2 concert, or in the same way that Tyler Campbell jumps for joy when Rammer Jammer starts blaring from the band or in the same way that Mindy D'A starts breakin' it down when "Hey Ya" comes on the radio, I am about Disney World. (granted, I'm not sure that Mindy D'A breaks anything down when she hears OutKast, but I thought I'd name drop)

There's so much to tell in any trip to The Happiest Place on Earth, especially one that starts on a Thursday night, and doesn't end until Saturday of the following week. This was planned to be the 5th Anniversary vacation for myself and The Lovely Steph Leann--we had honeymooned here the first week of March, 2004, for 4 days before embarking on a 3 day Disney Cruise, so we thought a return for our fifth year kickoff would be grand. We'd already been 2 times in between, but who's counting.

Well, along the planning stages, somehow, someway, The Lovely Steph Leann's mom, Ruth, and Aunt Becky worked their way into the trip. Being a manager assistanty type person, a part payment for my hard earned work is the ability to get myself and three others into the parks pretty much most of the time. So, for you math skolurs out there, take myself, add The Lovely Steph Leann, throw in my just wonderful mother in law and now the aunt, and that makes four.

Discussions where had, compromises were negotiated, and no matter how I did or didn't feel about the entire thing, it was what it was, it is what it is, and Ruthy Campbell was paying for gas, so there ya go.

The thought was to leave late, late Thursday night, possibly around 10 or 11pm, drive all through the night and arrive at The Magic Kingdom around 8ish or so. The women would sleep in the car, I could drive the trip, and the next day, I'd be dead tired, but hey, I've done the whole "up for what feels like a bajillion hours" before. Well, we're taking this behemoth of a vehicle, a GMC Yukon, the type of SUV that cars like Toni Rocki Honda would actually orbit around, and I'm just not comfortable driving something that unfamiliar.

So, in my brilliance, I called up The Lovely Steph Leann a few days prior to departing, and suggested that we leave earlier, and get a room for Thursday night. She agreed, I called down and though Pop Century was completely full, we upgraded slightly for a night at Port Orleans Riverside...

...DISNEY TIP!!! There are several catagories of rooms, with the least expensive being "Value Resort", which is All Star Movies, All Star Sports, All Star Music and Pop Century. I highly recommend these, mostly because all you truly need is a bed at Disney. That being said, sometime it is nice to go a little better every now and then. "Moderate Resorts" include Coronado Springs, Port Orleans Riverside, Port Orleans French Quarter and Carribean Beach. From there, you get to "Deluxe Resorts", which include the very pricey digs like Grand Floridian, Yacht & Beach Club, The Polynesian, The Contemporary, Animal Kingdom Lodge, Fort Wilderness Lodge, Boardwalk Inn, Saratoga Springs and a few others. Beyond that, you've also got Disney Vacation Club resorts, campgrounds and a few other places mixed in...

...which is cool because we'd never stayed at Port Orleans Riverside. Its kind of my thing now, I want to try to stay in the different hotels at some point, with the ultimate dream of mine being The Polynesian, with all its tropical atmosphere and tiki towers rising through the lobby. We stayed at Animal Kingdom Lodge for a night in September of last year, when we went with our friends DeLisa and DeNick, and it was glorious.

The hotel we slept in... for about four hours. It was awesome. And breakfast was great, too.

Problem was, we actually didn't quite get out of town until around 6pm, or after, and truthfully, when you have three women picking at each other about which direction to head, and who it is to blame for why we left so late and so on and so forth, its easier to just sit in the back seat, plug in my earbuds, and keep quiet.

After all this, we finally rolled up into Disney World, or at least Port Orleans Riverside, around 430, maybe 5am Eastern Time. Check out at the hotel was 11am, and we hadn't even checked in yet. I laid my head to rest around 530p, The Lovely Steph Leann didn't get to lay down until closer to 6am. We slept until around 9, then had to get up and pack up the few things that we had taken out. It might be silly to pay for a room for only a few hours, but trust me, that sleep was invaluable--I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

The benefit of having so many days in front of you at The Happiest Place on Earth is that you can take your time doing everything. Magic Kingdom is not nearly the biggest size-wise, but has the most to do and is the park that is almost impossible to cover in a single day, so we had already planned to break it into two, perhaps three days, so we hit Magic Kingdom first, doing most of Tomorrowland... we rode Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, we toured the Monster's Inc Laugh Floor (both highly recommended rides), we rode Space Mountain--which, by the way, they will be closing later this year to update it, making it faster, darker and adding music.

We strolled into Pixie Hollow, which is located in Toontown...

... DISNEY TIP!!! The Magic Kingdom is comprised of seven different areas, each with its own style and atmosphere. Besides Tomorrowland, there is Main Street USA, which you walk on when you enter the park, finding various shops and such... Liberty Square, where you'll find the Haunted Mansion... Adventureland is the home of the Jungle Cruise, the Tiki Room and Aladdin's Magic Carpet Ride... Frontierland has Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain... Mickey's Toontown Fair contains Goofy's Barnstormer kid coaster and The County Bounty... and finally, Fantasyland, a big area with all the major traditional rides like Mad Hatter's Tea Party, aka the teacups, Dumbo, Peter Pan's Flight, It's a Small World and so on...

...more specifically, the County Bounty, a huge pavilion of gifts and stuff. To the right side of the County Bounty, once you enter the big doors, you'll see two queues, one to meet princesses, and the other to meet fairies. We got in line, and for the first time, was able to meet Tinkerbell (who called my pin lanyard 'flitterific') and her fairy BFFs Silvermist and Rosetta.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

FOOD!!! That night we ate at 1900 Park Fare, which is located at The Grand Floridian Resort & Spa, at Cinderella's Royal Gala. Quite simply, its this huge buffet topped off with table visits by Cinderella, her boo Prince Charming, the Wicked Stepmother, and the two stepsisters, Drisella and Anastacia. The two stepsisters are my favorites, though, because they always seem to really play it up great.


Dessert was marvelous

Dinner for me consisted of yummy creamed potatoes and a large hunk of sliced roast beast, some mac & cheese, some other foods I can't think of, a bowl of chilled strawberry soup, and several little bitesized cheesecake tarts, berry tarts and chocolately junk. It was a-may-zing.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

After just passing out within ten minutes of getting to Room 240 at Pop Century, I slept like a baby. And since we went slower on Friday, we had to be up early on Saturday to hit the ground running... and Saturday...

TOY STORY MIDWAY MANIA!!! This was a ride we had been unable to ride last September due to the fact the wait was up to 3 hours in length. I had heard this ride was just unbelievably a fun ride to be on, so I wanted to prove it for myself... The Lovely Steph Leann and I raced... well, I say raced, but you have to understand, The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't run. She just doesn't. I was talking with The Dainty Steph Halpert earlier tonight, and she agreed, "Yeah, Stephanie doesn't run. I'm sure of that."

So when I say "race", we really just walked kinda fast. We got there and immediately got our fast passes, then immediately jumped in the currently-only-20-minute-wait-but-soon-to-grow-to-hours line. The queue is fascinating, as its as if your a toy sized being walking through Andy's room... everything is enlarged, from the crayons to the Tinkertoys to the Barrel o'Monkeys to the Scrabble game on the ceiling. In the back is Mr. Potato Head, telling jokes and singing and welcoming one and all to Toy Story Midway Mania.





Finally, we get to the ride, and are just giddy... seriously, we've heard from a ton of people that the ride is great, but truly, we really don't have much of an idea of what we'll be doing. We get in to the little car, both of us sitting behind brightly colored "guns" with a little pull string coming out of it. We throw on our 3D glasses, and suddenly are whirled in front of a screen with Woody and Jessie, as they tell us its time to practice. Pull back on the string, and a little "ball" flies across the screen, smashing "paint" all over a plate Jessie is holding.

Hold on... this is... kinda cool... this is really, really cool!

The little car zips around through various scenes, and we shoot ducks and plates and balloons and we try to ring the little alien guys and it was 100% incredible awesome. It was a ride you wanted to continue, so as soon as it ended, we hung out in the Pixar area until our fastpasses allowed us to ride it again. Over the course of our vacation, we rode Toy Story Mania five times.

...DISNEY TIP!! When you go to Hollywood Studios, you want to go immediately to this ride if you plan on doing it. Why? Because that is what every single other person will be doing. The fastpasses will sell out usually by midday, but even if you got one of the last ones they give, it wouldn't let you on the ride until 4, 5, maybe 6pm. My suggestion is to get a fastpass for it right off the bat, then either ride it then (allowing you to ride it again later with your fastpass) or just ride it a little later. The wait time will get up to an hour or more. If you aren't interested in this ride, though that's just weird, this is a good time to go straight to Tower of Terror and Rock'n Roller Coaster, because again, most people will be at Toy Story Mania

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

We headed over to The Beauty and the Beast stage show, which is about 30 minutes in length, but is worth it. The colors are vibrant, the music is great--yes, the songs are somewhat condensed, but its enough "Gaston" to whet your appetite--and the dancing is top notch. Plus, its a great chance to sit and relax, especially since the theater is covered, during the summer months it will be awesome. Another show that is along the same lines, though not quite as good is "The Voyage of the Little Mermaid", which is simply the Little Mermaid story.



Ursula looks cool, but beyond that, its just a so-so show. Its a good wake up, though, when onstage the ship is in the storm, and in the audience, you get rained on. Sprinkles, really, but it will make you wet. Beware.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

They just started The American Idol Experience at Hollywood Studios, which both The Lovely Steph Leann and I jumped at. Earlier in the day, we passed the audition area, where you could sing for the judges to try and get on the show, but The Lovely Steph Leann refused to do so.

Though the "grand opening" wasnt until the next week, February 14th, they were showing "preview shows" all week. We filed in, and the stage looks like what the American Idol stage probably looks like in real life. There was a judges table, with the Coke containers sitting so you could clearly read "Coke".


The stage is set. The contestants are here. The dream is alive. THIS. IS. AMERICAN IDOL (lite)

A guy comes out, energizes the crowd and tells us how it all works (apparently, they do this on the real show too)... quite simply, three people perform, that being three guests who auditioned and were chosen. The audience picks the winner. Our host comes out, this chick with long legs and a bit too much makeup, and three judges come out, two girls and a non-British guy on the end.

Since its a preview day, the prizes won't be awarded today, but apparently, there will be four shows per day. The first three shows each produce a winner that goes on to the 7pm "Finals" show. The winner of that show, crowned the best singer of the day, gets a special "golden ticket" that allows her to go to any Idol audition in the country, and go directly to the front of the line.

The first girl to come perform is like, 15 or 16, and she does a great job even though she is singing "Colors of the Wind", on of my least favorite songs. The next guy does a forgettable country song (as in, I actually don't remember what it was) and the third chick does a loud version of "Independence Day". She starts off great, but loses it toward the end, but the crowd goes nuts anyway. The Lovely Steph Leann voted for the third chick, I went with the first one, but the third chick won out.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I got to meet Frozone!

There is an Art of Disney show that I highly recommend, because... well, its really cool. Afterwards, though, you spill into an area to meet some characters and see some animation, and they have a few kids areas too. We heard that Rhino the Hamster and Bolt were going to be there, so we got in line--we were the last ones in line, as a matter of fact.


Its Rhino and Bolt! It was awesome! It was beyond awesome... it was.... BE-AWESOME!

On our Times Guide, "The Characters of The Incredibles" was listed as being there, and though I love me some Incredibles, we had already met Mr. Incredible and Elastagirl. But after our pics with Rhino and Bolt, I glanced up, and saw a familiar blue color. In a voice that sounded like I was eight, I giddily exclaimed, "Steph! Frozone is up there!"



We scurried up the walk, and there was Frozone! It was one of the coolest things ever!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

FOOD ALERT!!! For dinner, we traveled over to The Garden Grill, located at Epcot in The Lands. The Garden Grill is a character meal, but its known more for the restaurant itself. It spins. When I booked it, though, I was imagining a tower like building with a rotating top, much like the one that used to be in Florence, where I shared a dessert date with Mary Ann Crittenden in 2000.



The fact that I couldn't recall any such tall tower in Epcot, though, puzzled me. Its not in a tall tower, though... its on the 2nd floor of The Land (a building in Epcot that houses "The Circle of Life" ride, "Living with the Land" and "Soarin'") and when we first walked up, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh, it must not be rotating tonight. That's too bad, I guess its broken."

So I ask our cast attendant about it, and he says, "No, its working!" I stared at the floor, at a small black seam on the floor at the top of the ramp. On the right side, the ramp was just there, not moving. On the left side, every so slightly, the floor was moving. You had to really look at it to tell, no doubt it took an hour or more for it to make a full revolution. There was the lower level of seats that was in a big circle, where you could overlook part of The Land lobby area, and another part of the circle allowed you to overlook the "Living with the Land" ride.

We sat on the second level, which was really just one step up. It was strange, because as I sat, there was a large rock on the outside of the "vehicle/restaurant", and twenty minutes later, I had to turn around and look behind me to see the same rock. The food was great, though. They served us roast beast, along with turkey and some other meat, potatoes (now, I'm not a huge fan of potatoes unless they are really creamy, but there were some rockin' creamed taters all over Walt Disney World) and some cranberry sauce that The Lovely Steph Leann was diggin'.


They even brought us Anniversary Dessert, which was really a cupcakey thing with a few candles on it. It was nice, though.

And on Sunday... its off to The Magic Kingdom!!

The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 50 thru 41

NOTE: If you are reading this on facebook, click here to see the videos (they will not appear in facebook notes)

What the heck is Clouds in My Coffee? Click here to find out what the heck this is all about.

The Introduction and Recap
The 100th thru 91st Coolest Things of 2008
The 90th thru 81st Coolest Things of 2008
The 80th thru 71st Coolest Things of 2008
The 70th thru 61st Coolest Things of 2008
The 60th thru 51st Coolest Things of 2008

And now... we begin the Fifty Coolest Things of 2008

50. The SEC Championship Game



Go Gators! Go Gators! Go Gators! Go Gators!

49. Kourtney Kelley
This kid is just amazing. She's 21, one of the WalkAbout Hall of Famers (fyi, for the new coffee drinkers, WalkAbout is the name of the Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) middle school drama team that I've been honored to lead for almost a decade), and I've been amazed at her faithfulness for many, many years. Kourtney has two sisters, also WalkAbout alumni, but Kourtney is the one that I've ended up being the closest to over time.

Heck, I remember the day, when she was an 8th grader and she told me of how she planned on doing mission work with her life. Years later, she's a student at Carsen-Newman College and is planning on doing just that very thing... mission work with her life. And of course, at 21, she's still got the goofyness and silliness that comes with being just that old--and that's what makes her endearing.

She's easily someone you can use as a role model, and I'm only hoping that in however many years, The Lovely Steph Leann and I can have a daughter like the Kelley girls.


Hope she's okay with the fact she's one rank below...

48. "The Rock: The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment" on DVD
It's no secret that I have a mancrush on The Rock. He's the man. He... well, he rocks. I mean, I guess you could say he's my favorite actor, though I've never thought too much about that part, though I look back on his days in The WWE. My. Favorite. Wrestler. Ever.



So when this DVD was released, a 3 CD bastion of his greatest matches, greatest interviews and greatest moments in his WWE career, how could I turn that down??? I didn't. I went out and bought it the day it was available, and through my limited time, I watched a match here, a match there, and enjoyed every second of Thheeeeeeee Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment...

Listen up Jabronis...


That's right... an actual match, on Clouds in My Coffee. The Rock, the People's Champion wearing The People's Elbow... vs. Triple H, from April 30, 2000's WWE Backlash. For the WWE Championship.

And here's Part II of the match.


For the record, I can respect and understand why Dwayne Johnson would eventually want to drop "The Rock" from his name, and just be known as Dwayne Johnson. However, I think he totally should be Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Seriously. He'll always be The Rock.

He's actually only done ten or so movies, with a few more in post-production, according to his IMDB page. Here are three you should see...
1) "Walking Tall". Its a remake of the Buford Pusser (one of the greatest dirty sounding clean names ever) bio film, but its better, cause it has The Rock in it.
2) "Be Cool". Its a sequel to "Get Shorty", sort of, with John Travolta being funny, and The Rock being funnier.
3) "The Rundown". On the Dave100, and it stars The Rock. 'Nuff Said.

47. Jason & Emily Turnbow
When The Lovely Steph Leann and I were looking for a Sunday School class... excuse me, a LIFE CONNECTION class (you're welcome, Pastor Calvin)... we ended up in an "older" married class. I say older, because they had us by about four or five years, and they all had kids, and they were all in a stage of life we couldn't relate too, especially having been married only a year by then. We got wind of a "newly married" class starting up, so we joined. A year later, we, as a class, transitioned into the "young married", and our new leaders where this couple that I had seen before, but never met... he seemed cool enough, she was very pretty and seemed nice, and they had kids.


Who's luckier? I say he is. The Lovely Steph Leann may disagree. The real answer? I am. Ha!

It was then that Jason and Emily entered the life of The Lovely Steph Leann and d$. And we are forever blessed for it. They are a family that loves Jesus and lives fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator, and one of the things that I think I love the most about the Turnbows is how much they love each other. You can tell easily that Emily is all about her some Jason, and Jason in turn honors and respects Emily ultimately.

Anyway, it was this year I really felt like I wanted to mention them in the Top 100 Coolest... because they truly are two of the coolest, greatest people I know.

We'll be back to our Hallmark Channel special presentation after this break

46. Re-Reading "Salem's Lot" by Stephen King
Actually, it was listening to "Salem's Lot". I remembered really enjoying the book last year--in fact, it made the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2007 at #51. Truth be told, I don't look at last year's rankings when I make this years standings, but there is a reason it ranks higher the second time around...

I was listening to the audiobook, read by Ron McLarty--its very, very true that a good reader can make an audiobook, a bad reader can destroy one--who is an excellent reader. And the best part about it was... I was driving Toni Rocki Honda (my little car) down to Panama City Beach Thanksgiving week, overnight. And there aren't many things creepier than listening to a good, solid vampire story while driving in the middle of nowhere (try south of Ponce de Leon, Florida) in the middle of the night (try 2am).

By the way, "Salem's Lot" ranks right up there as one of my favorite novels by anyone.

45. Matt Halpert
There are many readers of Clouds that live in the area, and that know names I mention here and there--people like KT, J Rob, Paulie Walnuts, and so on. And there are those who read the blog--Mindy D'Andrea and Dixon come to mind--that don't have a clue what I'm even saying when I say "Matt Halpert", so its my job to make it real to those people.

Simply put... Matt Halpert is the 2nd funniest guy of 2008 in my humble opinion. Or not so humble, however you look at it. I know Matt mostly through his wife, The Dainty Steph Halpert, who is a friend of mine, and a good friend of The Lovely Steph Leann. The Dainty Steph Halpert teaches the youngsters and also works with me at The Happiest Place in the Mall, but Matt is the funny one. Not that she's not funny, but Matt has this dry humor that is just splendid.

Case in point... a group of us went to the drive-in a few years ago to see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and Matt and The Dainty Steph Halpert rode with The Lovely Steph Leann and I down and back. After the movie, I asked Matt how he liked it... now you have to understand, the guy is a scientist who works on mice at UAB, and he goes on this hilarious (to us, perhaps not to him) rant on how wrong the science was in the movie.

"They became superhuman because their molecules changed? That's ridiculous! I mean, what does that even mean?"


Here's a snapshot of Matt, Mickey and The Dainty Steph Halpert. Matt is the one on the far left.

Sometimes he would come into Starbucks and start talking about his job, and I think he was making jokes, because he would say stuff and then laugh... I would laugh too, though I would have no idea what he was talking about. Later, The Dainty Steph Halpert would tell me she felt the same way. He's just a funny, funny guy.

fyi... I had a hard time with Stephanie Halpert. I mean, I had called her My Friend Stephanie, but no one remembers that band, so the humor is lost. And S'halpert didn't really work either. So, I thought about her for a moment, and didn't want to use an adjective greater than "Lovely" to describe her, because in my eyes, there is none Lovelier than Steph Leann. But I will tell you want Steph Halpert is... dainty. I looked it up. It means precious, it means delicate, it means... well girly. And to me, that describes Steph Halpert. Thus, a nickname is born.

44. "For Better or For Worse"
Some of my favorite comic strips nowadays include "Pickles", "Zits" and "Mother Goose & Grimm", but when I think back to growing up, my favorites then (and now, really) were "Garfield", "Peanuts"... and "For Better or For Worse".

It was started in September of 1979, centering around a family in Canada, the Pattersons. John and Elly were the parents, and when it started, Michael was around 5, and Elizabeth was 2 or 3. And, the story unfolded in real time. The strips were funny each day, but each strip built upon the last, and when I started reading it, somewhere in 1988 or 1989, Michael was a teenager, Elizabeth was on the verge, and a few years later, April was born.

It was a comic about a family. And it aged in real time. The kids grew up, just like I did. Babies were born, people graduated high school, people graduated college, people got married... just like I did. It was great.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that the strip had ended... Lynn Johnston, the strip's cartoonist, decided the story had gone far enough. And the very next day, the papers began to run the first strip from 1979.


Lynn Johnston's final original strip

Johnston's plan is simply to re-run the old strips in order, tweaking and fixing things along the way. And I'm looking forward to catching up and growing old with the Patterson Family... all over again.

43. "The Gingerbread Girl" by Stephen King
The final appearance of author Stephen King on the 2008 Coolest List is really just a short story. It appeared in the July 2007 edition of Esquire magazine, and now is among the stories in the "Just After Sunset" collection released this year.

Emily is a runner. She wasn't, until her baby suddenly dies, and her marriage falls apart, but now, running seems to be the only thing that soothes the pain. She's running down a lonely stretch of Vermillion Key, Florida, on the beach when she stumbles upon something she shouldn't have... and the runs into someone she doesn't want to run into.

And the story takes off. Its simple, really. Some of King's best work is not supernatural, its just good people taking on bad people, and sometimes the bad people win. And sometimes they don't. I read this story early in 2008, and it stuck in my head all year. Excellent.

42. Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
Early in 2008, I finally got a Wii. And with the Wii, I got the game I really wanted... Star Wars Legos. And for over 75 hours (not straight), I sat with Wiimote in hand, chopping up bad guys with my light saber. Its a great game, as it takes you through six missions per Star Wars Episode, gaining characters and ships all along the way, earning credits, earning Gold Bricks, completing side missions and so on.



Its a fun little game, really... you're a Lego man. Or chick. And when you die, you fall apart like Legos do. Everything around you, save for the ground and sky, is made of Legos. Even the boulders that come after you have little studs and brick shapes all over them. The ships have those familiar snap-circles on the underside of them... and its a fun game to play, too.

Of course, imagine my surprise when I find out a few weeks ago that my game, with was almost 80 hours into and 98.4% complete had been erased. Instead, it said "Game 1: 2.4% complete." Seems like my wonderful little niece Madeliene, High School Music lover that she is, wanted to play Star Wars Legos. And she somehow saved over my game. Oh, to have the problems I have.

41. Sarah Palin
Ya know, I could go on and on about the things I like about Sarah Palin, and I could on and on about how stupid the McCain camp was by not just turning her loose and letting her be who she is, but I won't.

I really, really like Sarah Palin. And she gives me hope for the future, especially when President Obama gives me nothing close to resembling hope.

And Finally...

The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 70 thru 61

NOTE: If you are reading this on facebook, click here to see the videos (they will not appear in facebook notes)

Are you new to the blog? Click here to find out what the heck this is all about.

And we'll continue our annual list of the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2008...
The Introduction and Recap
The 100th thru 91st Coolest Things of 2008
The 90th thru 81st Coolest Things of 2008
The 80th thru 71st Coolest Things of 2008

70. Four Christmases
"I'll tell you what movie I couldn't believe was only PG-13 and not Rated R!" Cindy Warner proclaimed at our latest KidStuf practice.
"What, Role Models?" I asked, thinking how in the world Cindy Warner would be caught that that film, then remembering it was actually Rated R.
"No!" she exclaimed. "Four Christmases!!"
Hannah Pruitt, the coolest person I know, leaned over and said, "Whatever. I loved it." Then we high fived.

This was such a funny movie... here's what I said a few weeks ago:

Its a contrived plot that relys on the strength of its leads and Vince Vaughn definately does his end of the job. He's one of the funniest guys out there.

Reese Witherspoon is one of those actresses that I keep forgetting 1) how talented she is, and 2) how hot she is. She shouldn't be hot, either, she's got this weird goofy grin thing going on, along the same lines that has made me never find Julia Roberts attractive... and yet, somehow she is.

Reese is funny in this movie. She's been funnier, though, as seen in "Election", one of the most wickedly funny movies ever, and even "Sweet Home Alabama". Avoid anything that has a number after "Legally Blonde", though.Anyway, they play a couple who, since both comes from divorced homes, somehow avoid visiting the four different families they'd have to see on Christmas Day. Through a pretty clever set of circumstances, however, they are forced to do just that very thing... the parents are great, played by Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon Voight and Mary Steenbergen, all four Oscar winners. Dwight Yoakam also has one heck of a funny cameo too (I didn't even spot him at first).

And Jon Favreau is at his stupid best--anytime the words "Dry Humping" and "screensaver" can me included in the same dialogue, it makes for high comedy.

70A. Reese Witherspoon
Granted, one funny, good movie does not an appearance on the 100 Coolest Things necessarily warrant.


Let's welcome Reese Witherspoon, this year's inductee into The Ashley Judd Club. Reese, you can have a seat over there next to Kate Winslet and Debra Messing.

I wrote about three Reese movies to check out, naming "Election", "Man in the Moon" and "Walk the Line". Since we're on the subject, I wanted to give you a couple more Reese movies to check out:

"Pleasantville"... a flick that was in serious contention for The Dave100 (that being my 100 favorite films of all time). She's charming, she's funny, she's hot and its also worth a look at a young Toby Maguire and former That-Guy William H. Macy, and late That Guy Hall of Famer JT Walsh (in his final film)
"Sweet Home Alabama"... I debated on this for a while, trying to decide whether to recommend this film or the equally cheesy "Legally Blonde". After some careful decision (re: deciding which I'd watch if they were the only two movies on television), I chose this one. Its just fun, plus a bonus for The Lovely Steph Leann, it stars Colin Firth Club member Patrick Dempsey.
"American Psycho/Cruel Intentions"... Honestly... as a Christ Follower, I cannot recommend either of these films. As a movie fan, I can recommend either one of them. Don't watch them. but if you do, Reese is marvelous in both.

69. truTV
Oh, talk about a guilty pleasure. For someone who is a fan of "World's Wildest (insert authoritative group here) Chase Videos" and crap like that, this channel is like manna from heaven. Seriously... here's a story I shared last April:

Once, while actually in Panama City, I was about to head out of the hotel room to enjoy the sunshine of a 75 degree day. One of those shows was on, and I ended up sitting down and watching it. Drew Morris came in. He started watching it. Shawn Sharp walked in, and he too was caught. Another guy came in, and was sucked in. So, at the worlds most beautiful beaches, on a nice 75 degree day, when there are scantily clad Christian girls outside in inappropriate bikinis (this was a churchy type retreat, complete with Valdmanis), and there are four guys, watching two hours of "World's Wildest Police Chases".

And those shows? They were on CourTV. Which, as of January 1st, 2008, became truTV. The channel not only shows Cops over and over (still waiting for the Bucky Covington sighting), it boasts progams like "Maui Chopper", "Speeders", "Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel" and "Carribean Cops", its a cornucopia of videos, stupid criminals, stupid drivers and drunk folks. Plus, its website features "The Dumb Blog", a listing of the dumbest criminals of the week, which tells of this guy:

Wearing a ski mask, Frank Goldshtein politely waited in line for his turn to rob the bank, according to police in Stow, OH. Ten minutes later, the jig was up when Goldshtein crashed his car in a yard and cops recovered the stolen loot, the ski mask and the toy gun he allegedly used to extract the cash from the teller.

Its not reality. Its actuality.

68. The Crap Trap with The Lovely Steph Leann
One of the favorite things I love to do is eat, and one of the even more favorite things is to eat at great places with my lovely wife, The Lovely Steph Leann. And one of the best places we've eaten in the last while is The Crab Trap. Located down close to Sandestin, Florida, its this big seafood dive that has lots of shrimp, fish, lobster and of course, crab legs. Lots of crab legs.



And for an hour, that's what we feasted on, splitting a King Crab plate and big dish of some sort of crab dip, with crab, cream cheese, seasoning and chips. Fantastic food. I am still slightly full.

67. I.O. Metro
One day, I was at The Happiest Place in the Mall, when who should stop by but Bobowen. He and his wife, The Freckled Becca, were hosting an "open house" across the way at Patton Creek, where he was managing a new store called I.O. Metro. I had no clue what this even was, but heck, Bobowen and The Freckled Becca are good friends and I wanted to support them, so we went.

And it was the neatest thing... I didn't have a clue what I.O. Metro even was, but of course, being the hip chick that The Lovely Steph Leann is, she knew. Its a big furniture store, full of accessories, home items and so forth. That, of course, led to The War of the Table, which wasn't the best night in the world (which, by the way, The War of the Table had its own Appomattix moment when, last week, we actually got a table--that's for later, though) but overall, it was neat to see such a big store, and such a big accomplishment for Bobowen. And The Freckled Becca is just precious.

66. This Letter from Scott Latta

Dear Magic 96.5,

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Wow! Where does the time go? It’s weird—it seems like only yesterday that I flipped by for my weekly Peabo Bryson fix, and instead of hearing “Tonight I Celebrate My Love,” I heard something else entirely. I checked the calendar, thinking “Surely it isn’t time for ‘I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas’ already,” and sure enough, there it was: September 4, letting me know that you had already switched over to Christmas music and were prepared to pepper my ears with the same eight songs incessantly for the next four months!

I should begin by saying that you’re not likely to find a bigger fan of Christmas (or, incidentally, Peabo Bryson) than me. I start walking around Hobby Lobby in mid-July looking for ornaments and tinsel. And I don’t even use ornaments and tinsel. I just like to walk around the store holding them. I invented the “dirt angel.” I spray myself with aerosol snow. I really love Christmas. So this is my season. This is it for me. And, you know, there are some things that are hard to screw up. Ice cream comes to mind, and sugar cookies and Helen Keller jokes and Pixar movies.

Christmas is one of these things. I could spend Christmas in a Malaysian prison and I’d pretty much enjoy myself. But listening to your radio station—listening to the same eight songs you put on repeat—makes me want to burn my tree. It makes me want to pour out the Salvation Army bucket and bang Santa over the head with it, then pick up all the change and throw it at animals. Every year, my love for Christmas makes me think maybe—maybe—I should give you another try, and every year you ruin Christmas for me.

So, you should know that I hate you. But don’t get me wrong! I don’t necessarily hate Christmas music; I just hate what you do with it. You know what? I want to be in on your production meetings, if you have them. I want to be there when the station manager says the words, “I don’t know, I just really think people want to hear ‘Run, Run Rudolph’ by the Jackson 5,” and I want to throw a dry erase marker at him. Seriously. How much Burl Ives does a person need? My rule is that one Burl Ives song holds me over for 10 years. In the last week, you have played enough Burl Ives to cover not only my life, but the prison sentences for OJ Simpson (33 years), Vinson Filyaw (421 years), and Charles Manson (life, no parole).

Did you know that Bruce Springsteen, Michael Buble and James Taylor have all released Christmas albums? I’m not being sarcastic; I’m seriously telling you because I honestly think you think that Christmas music stopped being recorded around 1971. But it didn’t. That’s the thing; we don’t have to listen to Aaron Neville. Get on iTunes sometime. There is a whole other world out there you need to be listening to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Also, as the only radio station in Birmingham that plays non-stop Christmas music, thank you for being a shining example of the precarious dangers of monopoly power and why we should always fight against it.

Actually anticipating the return to Michael Bolton,

Scott

Scotty... this one is for you...


(somehow, Scotty has gotten a dozen mentions these last few weeks. Too bad the Pruitt Award winners have already been decided--Scotty might pick one up next year.)

65. "Nature Girl" by Carl Hiaasen
It's not a secret that I am totally anti-manmade global warming, in the sense that I don't believe its manmade (neither does most of the world) but also I'm not a fan of books, movies and shows that end up having a "We Americans are destoying our planet. We suck" theme. See "Still, The Day the Earth Stood" and "Happening, The". Or better yet, don't.

Carl Hiaasen is a native Floridian who has written a ton of books, mostly set in his home state, and many times dealing with enviromental issues. Its a credit to him, though, that he doesn't delve into the "we suck" mentality. He just tells his story, and give somes good "hey, take care of our planet" wisdom and tells a nice story. "Nature Girl" is just such a story.



His characters are goofy--Boyd, a scam artist, Sammy Tigertail, a Seminole who is trying to hide from a dead guy who he didn't kill, and the books ingenue, Honey Santana, a oddball chick who sets out to punish Boyd after he insults her on the phone. Its not a serious book, its almost a ridiculous... well, no, it IS a ridiculous story, but credit Hiaasen on making it enjoyable all the same. If ever there were a novel to define "beach read", this would be it.

64. "Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
No, I can't pronounce his name. No, I don't know anything about the guy. What I do know, though is this is a great tune. Combining "Over the Rainbow" with The Great Satchmo's classic "What a Wonderful World", its soft, done on the ukelele, and classic.

Of course, what brought it to just about everyone's attention--besides the countless times its been in commercials, movies and TV shows--is earlier in the year when Jason Castro, "The Dreadlocked One", performed it (brilliantly I might add) on American Idol. Over a dozen plays on my iPod this year puts on the list...


I'll be completely honest. When I googled Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, I was not imagining this guy. Apparently, he's a Hawaiian music legend, so much so that when he died in 1997, the Hawaiian state flag flew at half-mast.

63. Troy Over Florida International
My best mate Wookiee called me up, telling me of the extra tickets he had for the October 18th bout between the two college football powerhouses, Troy (my alma mater) and Florida Int'l. I said I was in--it fell on a rare Saturday that I was free from The Happiest Place in the Mall. We made some phone calls, seeing who else was interested, and Matt Halpert and J Rob decided they would join us... J Rob them punked out.

So, Wookiee, Matt and myself proceeded down to Troy, Alabama, stopping at Crowe's Chicken along the way for dinner, and then to the game. It was a blast. Troy won 33-23, and it was fun hanging out with Wook-Fu and the incredibly dry-witted Matt, who had never attended many college games--he's an NFL enthusiest from Houston, so all he has are the Texans and Rockets. And Astros, but he doesn't talk much about them.

62. WarGames II: Nuclear Wastelands
December 29th, 2008. The warriors came. Tyler. Zack. Danny. Pinkerton. Young Garrett. For a brief time, Papa Ron Campbell. Yours Truly. They chose their armies, we surrounded the battlefield, we rolled the dice. First, it was the mission game. Every five minutes, a country was nuked. Every 300 seconds that went by, another army was destroyed. Danny emerged victorious from the warm-up.

The elder Campbell couldn't handle the pressure. The big game was at hand. The armies moved. The dice rolled. The cards were earned. Now every 20 minutes, a country fell at the hands of the Nuclear Option. Tyler fortified, then was cut off, in Australia. Young Garrett took over Europe. With Danny owning South America, and Zack taking much of Asia, Pinkerton had little chance and was eliminated. Yours Truly had no hope, buried in South Africa.

And yet, then Young Garrett, ever unreliable, fell. Tyler was the next to fall, Zack then went down. Danny and Yours Truly had only to eliminate each other--Danny in his first WarGames, Yours Truly hoping for a back-to-back win, having won WG I. And suddenly, the Nuclear Option mattered more than ever, striking Danny twice in key areas, leaving Yours Truly enough life to amass a legion, to strike fast and to finally dominate. And Yours Truly is WarGames Master once again.

Geeks, nerds and dorks of the world, rejoice.

61. "Death Race" with Mikey
If you are standing in the welfare line, and with President Elect Obama set to take charge in a matter of days, you might be soon, and you ask for cheese, they give you the block. If you ask for butter, they give you the block of butter. If you ask for Bruce Willis, they give you... Jason Statham.

Imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit (aren't they always), he's forced to compete in a television game show where criminals race each other in death machines, with the winner having a chance to go free. There's the corrupt warden (Joan Allen), the angry black man (Tyrese Gibson), the hot chick (Natalie Martinez), the older, wise sage (Ian McShane) and of course, the crazy foreigner (Max Ryan). But all that doesn't matter.

What does matter is how terrible this movie was. How terrible, and yet, how Craptastic. Absolutely Craptastic. The plot is lousy, the action is predictable and repetitive, the deaths are kind of unimaginative, but the whole movie tosses together makes for an entertaining night, at least with the right person.

Enter Mikey, who, like myself, share a love and appreciation for Craptistical Films. We saw this movie at the dollar theater in town, which made it much better--"The Punisher: War Zone" might have been salvagable had I only paid $1 instead of $9 for it.

Coming Up... For Better or For Worse restarts, The Official Troy State Crush returns and... you're doing what to Matt Damon???