What's this... two posts in two days? Its like... its like... its like we are going back to the old days of the blog... frequent postings.. lots of randomness... sometimes funny... okay, maybe never funny, but at least the attempt is there...
How about more of 2011...
The Lovely Steph Leann crossing one of the bridges. While I shook it.
40... The Wild Africa Trek... Pay some money, go backstage at Animal Kingdom, find yourself hiking through the backwoods, crossing rickety rope bridges, then harnessed in and hanging over crocodile pools and hippo pools.
39... Panera Mac & Cheese... Bar none, best macaroni and cheese you will find at any restaurant. Great stuff.
38... "Winnie the Pooh"... this is how Winnie the Pooh should be. Director John Lassiter said that Pooh belonged to all of us, not just the toddler audience that Disney had put Pooh and the gang into. Great film, great laughs, animation is wonderful and its a twinge of nostalgia.
37... The Epcot Pin Event... Our first and only pin event, located at Epcot, with pin boards and books and trading and special access to special pins and so on. Its pretty intense.
36... Cracked.com... one of the best humor sites you'll find online.
35... The Stampers... our friends David and Carlie Stamper. We love these guys, and they are great people.
34... "Onward" by Howard Schultz... Written by the CEO of Starbucks, its the account of the last six or seven years of the company, where Starbucks was, and where the company is going, especially after all the store closings in 2008. I like the book for the fact that Schultz doesn't pull any punches, and doesn't blame anyone else but himself and the team for the downfalls... and credit goes to the same team for the revival.
33... The Celebrity Apprentice... What a train wreck this show is, always.
Us and our segways, in the Italy Pavilion
32... The Epcot Segway Tour... There aren't many ways to better spend a crisp, cool February morning than riding around Epcot's World Pavilion for two hours on a segway.
31... "Real Steel"... Wasn't sure I wanted to see this movie at all, as it looked like a big screen version of Rock'em Sock'em Robots... yet, this turned out to be one of the most heartfelt movies I'd seen in a while. Yes, there are fighting robots in this film, but that takes a backseat to what the real plotline is, that being the relationship between a father (Colin Firth Club member Hugh Jackman) and a son (Dakota Goyo) and their reconciliation over those same fighting robots... including an old relic named Atom.
30... The Adjustment Bureau... A pretty good movie that I really enjoyed for the mere fact that I was able to write this article...
29... "The War for Late Night" by Bill Carter... What a great book. It recaps the crazy year or so when NBC brought in Conan O'Brien to take Jay Leno's place on The Tonight Show... then how NBC brought Jay back in prime time, ruined Conan's Tonight Show ratings, fired Conan, then brought Jay back to The Tonight Show, all while Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel and others watched from the sidelines. Well written, and showing a side of all the main players that you wouldn't expect, including Jay Leno's tendency to be a... well, a jerk. Who'da thunk it?
28... The Rock Returns... Yes, I watch WWE, and yes, I wigged out when The Rock made his fateful return after being gone for years. Yes, I can smell what the Rock. Is cooking.
27.. "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol... Perhaps the best Mission Impossible film since the first one--its fun, its exciting and its well done. Complete review here.
26... Hoarders... What the what? Have you seen this show? Its insane. People are pack rats to the ultimate extreme... dolls... toys... clothes... cars... dead animals... all found in the midst, and within--sometimes under--tons of possessions. Yet, the show is addicting, its mesmerizing, and at the least, it makes you realize that your house isn't all that bad. Or, it makes you realize that maybe your house is headed that direction.
24... 11/22/1963... Sometimes Stephen King throws you for a loop. Instead of a vampire infested town, or a rabid, maniacal dog, what if the story itself was a random diner that had a portal, a time portal, that took you back to 1958? And what if you could stop the JFK assassination from happening? All questions answered, at least from one perspective, in this novel that I finished in days... starts a little slow, but keeps you coming back over and over.
23... Triple H vs The Undertaker... Brilliant match between two WWE legends. Should have highlighted WrestleMania.
22... "Crazy Stupid Love"... Every year, there is one movie that I didn't expect to love and I end up adoring... last year, it was "Easy A". This year, its "Crazy Stupid Love". Starring Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, and a 1-2-3 punch of Julianne Moore, Marisa Tomei and Emma Stone, its smart and funny, and unlike some of the other films on this list, I've watched this over and over on cable. Meaning, the re-watchability of this film is very high.
20... The Billy Joel Collection... Visiting 2nd and Charles, a local used book and CD shop, my Billy Joel Collection was expanded considerably... for about 25 bucks, I added, among others, "52nd Street", "The Bridge", "Turnstiles", "Songs in the Attic", "Glass Houses", "Storm Front", "River of Dreams" and "An Innocent Man"... that's a lot of Billy Joel, and that's really cool.
19... Pastor Calvin... After close to 30 years at Valleydale Baptist Church turned Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), Pastor Calvin Kelly decided to step down. Oh, there was some silly little something, and I say "silly" and I mean "silly", lest you think I'm being sarcastic, but either way, he is a good man, a good Christ Follower and I'm proud of him for following where God leads him and his family.
18... Disneyland... 2 free park tickets + 2 free airline tickets + Marriott Rewards Free Hotel Stay = a trip to Anaheim to visit Disneyland Park and California Adventure. Now, there isn't enough time to go into all of the trip, but one of our favorite attractions was...
17... The Wonderful World of Color... A water based show on the lagoon at California Adventure, its full of light, color and imagination, and its just cool.
16... The New Star Tours... So, when I was in Disneyland, I read on Twitter that they were doing testing for the brand new Star Tours--remember, this is May 2011--so I kept checking for when I might be able to get in. Finally, I saw they were accepting "Annual Passholders", and being such, I hoped to get to ride it... of course, I was a Walt Disney World passholder, not a Disneyland Passholder, there is a difference.
The Lovely Steph Leann, only 3 or 4 months pregnant at that time, was unable to ride then... so I went alone, and made it to the Star Tours attraction. Of course, my WDW Pass wouldn't get me in, but I noticed a Cast Member working with another gentleman's fast passes... I asked him if there was any way I could get to ride, and he nodded and said, "Come with me". So he escorted the other gentleman and myself past the long, winding line and straight to the entrance of the building... and it was awesome. The ride was awesome.
15... "I Can't Even Walk (Without You Holding My Hand)" by Justin Fisher... My boy JustFish is a story teller. Some of his stories are a bit long winded, some are right on the money, most are hilarious, all are sincere. This is a book of stories, one after another, about his struggle and life with cerebral palsy, and the blessings God has given him through such a handicap. He's just a good dude.
14... The Muppets Soundtrack... its the awesome music to the awesome movie called...
13... "The Muppets"... What an awesome film. I mean, straight up fantastic. Of course, this is someone who grew up on the Muppets, has the series on DVD, has all the movies on DVD (except for "Muppet Treasure Island"... I just can't get into that one) and have loved Kermit & the gang for years. Plus, toss in Jason Segel, and Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) and you've got a great movie on your hands. Even the bizarre rap song by Chris Cooper somehow works in this film. Sort of.
12... October Disney... went in October. Loved it. (the trip was over a year ago, so I'm a little fuzzy on the specifics of this trip...)
11... "Walt Disney" by Neal Gabler... This book is a behemoth... and its filled with dates and names and times and things that are very detailed about the life, both personal and professional, of Walt Disney, creator of Mickey Mouse and those Magic Kingdoms that bear his name. If you want a light telling of his life, this is not the book for you. But if you want the details, the minutiae, the backstories behind the stories, then pick this one up. I loved every page, and look forward to reading it again.
And for your weekend... finally... The Top Ten Coolest Things of 2011... you don't want to miss it as we wrap up then, and start working on just now...
You have to know, I love me some Billy Joel. I mean, straight up, the man is a genius, he's ubertalented, and much of his collection is filled with memorable tunes that I could just sing at any point and time... "Only the Good Die Young"... "Allentown"... "The River of Dreams"... "The Downeaster Alexa"... "Piano Man"... "New York State of Mind"... "The Longest Time"... "Just the Way You Are" (these latter two are hugely popular with The Lovely Steph Leann).
Some of his lesser known tunes are also fantastic, which "Leave a Tender Moment Alone" comes to mind. And, my favorite Billy tune, "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant".
Billy Joel rules!
Matter of fact, the short list of my ten favorite artists of ALL TIME are: (1) Garth Brooks... (2) The Dixie Chicks... (3) Hootie & the Blowfish... (4) Michael Jackson... (5) Billy Joel... (6) Sheryl Crow... (7) Sarah McLachlin... (8) Martina McBride... (9) Whitney Houston... (10) Alison Krauss... if you wanted to include Christian artists in there, the list gets adjusted to: (1) Garth... (2) Dixie Chicks... (3) Hootie... (4) dcTalk... (5) Michael Jackson... (6) Jennifer Knapp... (7) Billy Joel... (8) Sheryl Crow... (9) Watermark... and (10) Sarah McLachlin.
Note--this is an unscientific list, from the top of my head, as I feel that any list containing my favorite artists of all time would have to also include (in no particular order) Elton John, Gloria Estefan, Nichole Nordeman, Jars of Clay, The Monkees, ABBA, Caedmon's Call, Lionel Richie, LL Cool J, PM Dawn, Plumb, Jars of Clay, Prince, Toni Braxton, The Forester Sisters, Steven Curtis Chapman, Kathy Mattea, Weird Al, Michael Bolton and pre-skank Mariah. (And Factor 7, natch) So if I do a post containing just such a topical list, don't come back to this and see it as gospel. My point was to show how awesome Billy Joel is.
All that being said, I always get a little antsy when I hear that Idolees are going to be "The Songs of (insert favorite artist here)", because while there is a good chance I'll hear a great version of a great song, there's a more than great chance I'll hear some novice goof up a great song. Bear this in mind as you read along, knowing that I have no clue who is singing what on tonight's show. I do know that D'Kenny G will probably screw it up, and stay anyway. As a matter of fact, I like Kenny G, so "D'Kenny G" is too good of a name. How about we call him... D Crappensuck? I like it.
THIS IS
AMERICAN
IDOL
THE BILLY JOEL SHOW
While "And So It Goes", a Billy Joel standard, plays in the background, we see clips of last week's departure with Shannon Magrane. The other Idols look somber and tearful, though its probably a guilty somber and guilty tearful because its a "Sad to see you go, but I'm glad it ain't me" feeling. But the 10 remaining.. they get the tour. They get the Top Ten status. And a few minutes later, minus Shannon, we see the giggles and laughter. Because this is how it works when you are 19 years old.
The music swells and Ryan Seacrusty strides onto the stage, welcoming us, and telling us how intense the week has been, and then introducing us to the Top Ten. Creepy Uncle Steven says, "If you can't sing Billy Joel, you can't sing... he's an American Icon."
Then Seacrusty says, "Helping Jimmy Iovine is R&B heavy hitter Diddy!", to which I just pause and then laugh. That led to this exchange:
The Lovely Steph Leann: Why would you have some R&B guy, and I say R&B loosely, helping out with music like Billy Joel's?
Me: Why the heck not just get Billy Joel to help with music like Billy Joel's?
The Lovely Steph Leann: Simple. He'd be too drunk.
Oh, and apparently, Tommy Hilfiger is the new "Style Advisor". I just threw up in my mouth.
And when D'Crappensuck comes out, I did it again.
Okay, Deandre--if you happen to Google yourself and read this, I'm not picking on you. I'm sure you are a nice kid, and I'm sure you are pleasant to be around... but I'm just not a fan of your voice. I think you try to hard. I think your falsetto is crazy weird. Its not for me. If you could sing D'Angelo's "Brown Sugar" over and over, you'd win this thing. But you can't. And the fact that you are singing "Only the Good Die Young", one of my Top Five Billy Joel Songs Ever, this makes me nervous. Good luck when you get kicked off. -d$
Says Diddy... "Billy is at his hottest in this song! He's singing about being a repressed Catholic, and he's got Christie Brinkley on the side and... you don't even know who Christie Brinkley is, do you?"
I don't know who got kicked off this week, but I do know of one who did't get kicked off... that's D'Crappensuck. I was flipping down Facebook and saw my friend Kelly Williams Fisher's post that said, "Who keeps voting for DeAndre! Stop it!" I completely agree.
And he just made a wonderful song into a heaping pile of crappy poop. J-Lo thought it was a great way to start the show. Creepy Uncle Steven made a joke and passed it on down. Randy the Dawg liked it to start the show... and he's wearing another weird pin thing going on.
Now, its Erika Van Pelt, who will be doing "A New York State of Mind"... personally, she would have been great to sing "Only the Good Die Young", because despite what D'Crappensuck did, that song rocks out.
On the suggestion of Tommy Hilfiger, EVP gets her hair did, and somehow, she's a short haired brunette. I like it, but I liked her natural locks better. And I can't complain about how good her performance is, as it sounds really good... the new do is just distracting.
The judges loved her song and her look. You know, I do too.
Joshua Ledet is taking on "She's Got a Way", which isn't one of my favorite ballads, but it is a good song nonetheless. Personally, I like "Always a Woman" or "Just the Way You Are" better, but this should be good.
This exchange:
Joshua: I'm singing "She's Got a Way"
The Lovely Steph Leann: Mmm. Great song.
Diddy: Have you ever heard this song?
Joshua: No, never, not until this week
The Lovely Steph Leann: What? d$! Ohmygaawwwww....
Adding a little soul to the song, J-Led sits in a chair turned backward, and you can tell he's not familiar with the song... and its a testament to his talents that he's not letting that deter him. He's even got a choir behind him. As Billy Joel himself sang, "Its All About Soul".
J-Lo loved this performance. Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler just said, "I don't know that song by Billy Joel", and The Lovely Steph Leann nearly passed out. Randy the Dawg liked it, but didn't love it.
Great, great album. "Shameless" is one of many great tracks.
In one of the most appropriate song choices of the night, Little Skylar Laine has picked "Shameless", which is a somewhat more obscure Billy Joel tune from 1989's "Storm Front", made hugely popular by Garth Brooks on his "Ropin' the Wind" album. I say appropriate, because this is definately one that can be country-fied effectively, as Garth has shown above.
She starts a little shaky, finally gets her groove when she hits the chorus, somewhat molests the back of the keyboard player on stage, and then his her stride... but to me, its still not her strongest song, and I expected more of her on this one.
Randy the Dawg asks her what version she was coming from, and she admitted that it was Garth's. J-Lo says, "You aren't shameless, you are fearless!" I see what you did there, J-Lo. Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler gives her some fluff and sunshine.
And now, its Elise Testosterone, singing one that I like, but don't know all that well--"Vienna". I'm still wondering how she keeps ending up in the Bottom Three, but perhaps its that America thinks shes too old? Tommy Hilfiger says she's too layered up, and really just needs to... well, I'm guessing wear less clothing.
Here she comes, with a plunging neckline. As I listen to "Vienna", I realize my feet are slightly tapping, and I find myself enjoying this version immensely. She's not doing a cover, she's doing her version of this song, and that's wonderful.
And she garners a standing O from all three judges, much deserved. The Lovely Steph Leann then interjects, "This song was in '13 Going on 30'". The judges loved E-Test.
We come back from Break, and its Phillip Phillips! Tommy Hilfiger tells Phillip2 that he needs some fashion help, and Phillip2 simply says, "Eh, I keep it simple."
The song he'll be doing is "Movin' Out (anthony's song)", another great tune that I know all the words too... my favorite line is "Sergeant O'Leary is walking the beat, at night he becomes the bartender... he works at Mr. Cacchatories' down on Sullivan Street, across from the medical center..." Diddy and Jimmy Iovine tells him to put down the guitar as he sings.
So, Phillip2, wearing grey, is singing the song while holding his guitar. He adds a rockabilly twist to the song, and I'm not sure I love it... I like it, I don't hate it... it was just... weird. A good weird, but weird nonethless.
J-Lo loved it. Creepy Uncle Steven tosses his own scarf to Phillip2. Randy the Dawg mocks Jimmy Iovine and Diddy for suggesting that Phillip2 drop the guitar and drop the grey outfits.
Looking like a cross between one of the chicks from ABBA crossed with a disco ball, Hollie Cavanaugh is going to be performing "Honesty", probably one of my least favorite Billy Joel songs. I like it, but don't love it.
Lots of Billy Joel Ballads tonight... I wonder if Idols feel those are easier? Dear goodness, Hollie Cav's pants are like, 8 feet long. High waisted pants, with a disco ball top? No thank you.
Creepy Uncle Steven says she was a little pitchy. J-Lo loved it. Randy the Dawg agreed with Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler.
Last season's My Next American Idol Haley Reinhart is in the audience! Yay!
Coming in the 8th slot, its Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better), and he'll being singing "My Life". Interesting...
Diddy is trying to figure out Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better), and questions if he's an actor... or a con man... or even Asian? Tommy Hilfiger asks him who is fashion idols are, and he responds, "Jessica Sanchez... Michael Bolton..." Tommy says, "I think Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) is testing me."
The song starts really slow, and he actually stops the piano player, saying, "This is much too slow... and I wanna dance!" The music kicks in, he rips off his fancy schmancy shirt to reveal this goofy looking t-shirt. The song itself sounds terrible. But the whole thing is quite entertaining.
I think Creepy Uncle Steven felt that Idol's credibility was taking a hit
Randy the Dawg and J-Lo are clapping, Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler is just staring, clearly not amused at all. J-Lo says, "I don't think you hit the vocals exactly...", while Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler is, in a roundabout way telling him, "you need to take this more seriously, otherwise this business will beat the crap out of you." Randy the Dawg enjoyed it.
And the Powers That Be that DO NOT want Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) to be the American Idol, are sweating hard right now... because though it sounded terrible, it was fun. But I'm afraid his novelty is wearing thin, and honestly, besides Crappensuck, I think I'm ready for him to go home and not take up a spot that could be filled by Elise Testosterone or EVP.
What the crap is "Everybody Has a Dream"? I've never heard this song in my whole life... anyway, its what J-Sanch is singing. Well, for your info, its one of three songs that were NOT hits on "The Stranger" from 1977... the other six songs are immortal... "Movin' Out", "Scenes from" and "Only the Good Die Young" included.
She just slayed that song, but I didn't like the song itself. I mean, the judges are nuts about her, and they are right to be that way, but the song was kinda boring.
Last, but not least, its Colton Dixon. Says The Lovely Steph Leann, "I hope he's doing 'Piano Man', because how can we have a Billy Joel night without 'Piano Man'?" We wait for the song choice as Tommy Hilfiger goes on his fashion tangent.
The Lovely Steph Leann giggles in delight as Colton Dixon says, "I'm singing 'Piano Man'". Plus, he's got the pimp spot, last for the night. After hearing Colton do the song, Diddy says, "I wanted to buy this record from him."
Me: This... this sounds awesome.
The Lovely Steph Leann: He's updated this song to make it modern. This is awesome. Campbell and I both vote yes.
J-Lo loved it. Creepy Uncle Steven said it was stunning. Randy the Dawg said it was sensitive and simple, but so good.
Seacrusty asks him about the performance, and Colton just says, "I wanted God to use me." Seacrusty then immediately goes to something else. Oh, Seacrusty, you faker.
Best to worst:
Colton Dixon's "Piano Man"... Elise Testosterone's "Vienna"... EVP's "A New York State of Mind"... Joshua Ledet's "She's Got a Way"... Phillip2's "Movin' out (anthony's song)"... J-Sanch's "Everybody Has a Dream"... Skylar Laine's "Shameless"... Hollie Cav's "Honesty"... Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)'s "My Life"... That crap from D'Crappensuck
Here we are, another elimination episode... there are TEN, but in a little while, there will be NINE. They took on Billy Joel, and some rose (E-Test, Colton), and some fell (Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better), Hollie Cav) and some just continually suck it up (DeAndrea Crappensuck).
THIS IS
AMERICAN
IDOL
where only the least popular Idols die young...
J-Lo walks out in a very, very pink dress.
Me: You can see that from space
The Lovely Steph Leann: She's wearing a pink highlighter.
Seacrusty tells us that the group song is "The Longest Time", and The Lovely Steph Leann whines, "nooo... they are going to make it bad!" This might be the first group song I've heard in about four seasons.
By the way, how can you not snap your fingers when you hear this tune? To be honest, its not a bad version, mostly because the song itself is acapella anyway. Still, I usually fast forward through these on general principal.
The Ford Music Video... fast forward
Commercial Break... fast forward
And we're back... Seacrusty says that the ten remaining already are going on tour, but the Top Nine moves in the Idol Hollywood mansion.
He then calls down Hollie Cav... Little Skylar Laine... and Elise Testosterone. E-Test just hangs her head, with a comical sigh. Jimmy Iovine says he was worried about Hollie Cav, and felt that Little Skylar Laine took a step back. About E-Test, he said he basically loved it.
Dim the lights... here we go. After the nationwide vote, America says Hollie Cav is safe. Then he says, "The one moving into the Hollywood mansion is Little Skylar Laine..." then says, "And Elise Testostorone is safe too." Oh, Seacrusty! You faker!
Commerical break... fast forward
Lana del Rey... fast forward
Commercial break... fast forward
Random comment from The Lovely Steph Leann... "I just want Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler to wear like, the next size up, on his pants."
And outta nowhere, he comes Aerosmith lead guitarist Joe Perry, to help lead a "Happy Birthday" to Creepy Uncle Steven. Am I a nerd because I not only notice that "Happy Birthday" is written in Comic Sans, but that I'm also bothered by it?
I tell The Lovely Steph Leann that Joe Perry is from Aerosmith, and she says, "I know, I have been on Rock'n Roller Coaster!"
Now, Seacrusty tells us that DeAndre Crappensuck, Joshua Ledet and J-Sanch are next. Jimmy Iovine says he told DeAndre to bounce, but not go out and frolic, like he did. Jimmy Iovine liked Joshua, and loved J-Sanch.
Dim the lights... here we go! After the nationwide vote, America loved J-Sanch's version of the Billy Joel song. She is safe. Joshua Ledet is also safe, and is headed to The Couch of Comfort. DeAndre Crappensuck heads to the Silver Stools of Suck... thankfully. Its a start.
Commercial Break... fast forward
Welcome back, Haley Reinhart
Last Year's My Next American Idol Haley Reinhart... not fast forward. Actually wanted to hear it. Its not bad. But, finally, fast forward
Commerical Break... fast forward
And we're back... Seacrusty calls down Colton... EVP... Phillip2... and Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)... Jimmy Iovine says Colton has joined Joshua and J-Sanch to make this season of Idol a "three horse race". Jimmy Iovine then says, in the real world be who you are--but in this competition, follow the mentor's advice. Jimmy Iovine says EVP deserves to be at the top of the heap. And finally, for Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better), Jimmy Iovine takes Uncle Steven's harder comments and adds more.
He then makes my point... "Interscope Records has to spend alot of money on who wins the show, and he's not it..." And then Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) says, "I'm not trying to be a star." I'm thinking that perhaps he shouldn't be on the show, if that's the case.
Seacrusty sends Colton Dixon to the Couch of Comfort. Then sends EVP to The Silver Stools of Suck. Then sends Phillip2 to the Couch of Comfort, putting Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) to the Silver Stools of Suck.
Commerical Break... fast forward
Honestly... I don't like this. I am afraid of how this going to turn out. Seacrusty sends DeAndre Crappensuck back to the Couch of Comfort. Suck it!
And finally... he says EVP has the least amount of votes, while Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) goes back to the Couch of Comfort. I just don't agree with this. The novelty is over, and Erika Van Pelt deserves to be here.
As I expected, the judges will not use their save on EVP... I think its too early in the show still. Maybe in three weeks, EVP might have gotten it, but right now, no. Sadness.
I'll admit, I'm quite the nerd. Some people would call it OCD, but I would say SOCD, which is Selective Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... I don't obsess about much, but I'm very picky about what I obsess about... its almost like, I know whats important to me, how important it is to have things done the way I want the done... but only about certain things that sometimes no one else cares about.
Case in point... iTunes.
iTunes has this thing called a "play count", which is both a blessed and cursed thing. In my mind, once I play a song, I want it counted. Once I listen to a song, I want it noted... it truly doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone in the entire world that I've listened to "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon 34 times, or that I've fired up the original "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley 8 times.
But its important to me. I dunno why, and I really am not sure I care to psycho-analyze, but that's just one of those quirky, nerdy things about me. We'll come back to this, but first I have to give a bit more exposition, then tie it all together at the end like a good little storyteller.
Yesterday, I finally purchased a portable hard drive. We've owned a regular external hard drive for about three years, and backs up most of what is on my, and The Lovely Steph Leann's, computers. For me its music, audiobooks and pictures, for her its mostly pictures and Creative Memories back-up files... but the problem is, its so clunky and bulky. In the Casa de Pesos apartment, it wasn't a big deal, because our place was so small, we just kept our PC and the back up drive and such altogether, and even when we got laptops, they mostly just stayed in the guest bedroom. I could write and blog and do whatever, and with a television in the room, I could still watch whatever, or play a movie or anything of the like.
When we got The Cabana, though, it was harder, because we kept the back-up drive upstairs, and the laptops stayed downstairs mostly, so I didn't back up much stuff, just every now and then. With my growing love (and ear) for audiobooks, I finally had to move them off of my laptop because I had gotten to the point where I had less than 10gb of space (off of 300gb). It took almost 2 hours, but I moved almost 80gb of audiobooks onto the harddrive, plus a few movies and some other space-taking items.
Now, for anyone who owns an iPod, you'll notice that if you try and sync your iPod, and you've moved some files, a little "!" will appear by those files. And when those files are on an entirely different drive altogether, its even worse, because you get a hundred or two of those "!" when they are audiobooks. So, I now have a set up on our dining room table, this external hard drive to my left, cords and USB cables running everywhere and anywhere, and like, four things plugged into the nearby outlet. Thus, the need for a portable hard drive.
So I'm currently moving, from the external to the portable, over 100 audiobooks, encompassing 32,000+ files (the Harry Potter series alone contains at least 1,500 tracks), which makes up about 140gb of space. I have another 60gb of pictures to move over. And at some point, in the future, I'll move over all my music from my laptop to the portable hard drive.
And now, we get back to play counts. See, when I move over the music, I have to reload all songs back into iTunes. And when I do, all play counts go back to zero. Everyone. So me listening to Nilsson's "I Guess the Lord Must Be In New York City" 29 times? Its like it didn't happen.
However, don't think I haven't considering recreating all the playcounts. Easy, really... click on a song, click "repeat" twice (which makes the song repeat) and then click on the end over and over. It will advance from beginning to end, then start over. Yes, this is a really stupid, useless thing to do. Yes, there are far better uses of my time. Yes, I've thought about it. We'll see.
Play counts are a funny thing... it kinda tells you and the world what you truly like. My official Top Five list of songs are: (1) "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan... (2) "I'd Die Without You" by PM Dawn... (3) "Piano in the Dark" by Brenda Russell (ft. Joe Esposito)... (4) "Not the Only One" by Bonnie Raitt... (5) "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears. Coming in a close 6th is "Say Say Say" by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson.
Other songs that have wandered their way in and out of my Top Ten including "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the Blowfish... "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton... "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney and Wings... "Hazy Shade of Winter" by The Bangles and "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John....
But you know what? Out of those 11 songs I just listed, none are in my Top Ten of the Play Count List, and only one is in the Top Twenty, at 19th. So, I thought it might be fun to list my Top Fifty Songs on the Play Count List, the songs that have been played the most. Bear in mind, too, that I listen to a ton of podcasting and audiobooks, so music isn't my top priority most of the time, but sometimes, you just wanna hear Timberlake, or Flo Rida or Billy Joel or Bill Withers...
So, here we go... Song, artist, and (play count)
There is a huge six way tie at 50, featuring...
50-tie. Running From an Angel by Hootie & the Blowfish (34)
50-tie. Clarity by John Mayer (34)
50-tie. 3AM by Matchbox 20 (34)
50-tie. Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon (34)
50-tie. Welcome to Delaware by Watermark (34)
50-tie. White & Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic (Video) (34)
All the way down to #40 is another tie or two, featuring the only song that appears twice in our countdown, in both audio and video versions. Also, The Dixie Chicks make their first of three appearances.
48-tie. Cowboy Take Me Away by The Dixie Chicks (35)
48-tie. Sunday Afternoon by Joel Blount (35)
40-tie. ...And Our Feelings by Babyface (Video) (36)
40-tie. Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel (36)
40-tie. Close of Autumn by Caedmon's Call (36)
40-tie. The Trolley Song by Judy Garland (36)
40-tie. Taylor, the Latte Boy by Kristin Chenoweth (36)
40-tie. B.O.B. by OutKast (36)
40-tie. Light My Candle by Mimi and Roger from The Cast of Rent (36)
40-tie. You Mean the World To Me by Toni Braxton (36)
The next set of ten, down to a four way tie at #31...
39. I'll Be Okay by Amanda Marshall (37)
36-tie. Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers (38)
36-tie. In the Light by dcTalk (38)
36-tie. Possession by Sarah McLachlan (38)
35. Snow (Hey Oh) by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (39)
31-tie. Full Moon by Brandy (40)
31-tie. Callin' Baton Rouge by Garth Brooks (40)
31-tie. The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson (40)
31-tie. The Remedy (I won't worry) by Jason Mraz (40)
The next ten are all older songs, anywhere from five to fifteen to thirty...
26-tie. Let's Stay Together by Al Green (41)
26-tie. Still Not a Player by Big Punisher with Fat Joe (41)
26-tie. The Story by Brandi Carlile (41)
26-tie. My My My by Johnny Gill (41)
26-tie. Chains by Tina Arena (41)
24-tie. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift (41)
24-tie. Say It Right by Nelly Furtado (Video) (41)
23. Season of Love by The Cast of Rent (43)
21-tie. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawio'ole (45)
21-tie. The Light In Your Eyes by Blessid Union of Souls (45)
And our teens part of the countdown gives us another helping of The Chicks, an obscure but incredible song by Jill Paquette and of course, Cool J.
19-tie. My Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow (46)
19-tie. I'd Die Without You by PM Dawn (46)
17-tie. Tortured Tangled Hearts by The Dixie Chicks (47)
17-tie. Drops of Jupiter by Train (47)
15-tie. Sin Wagon by The Dixie Chicks (48)
15-tie. Lift My Eyes by Jill Paquette (48)
13-tie. Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (49)
13-tie. I May Hate Myself in the Morning by Lee Ann Womack (49)
11-tie. Loungin' (who do you love) by LL Cool J (50)
11-tie. If I Ever Lose My Faith in You by Sting (50)
Before we get to the Top Ten, I wanted to give you a list of ten songs that, were I to do this same column in a year two, you'd probably see some of them appear in this very list, maybe because they are new and I listen to them frequently now or because they were just outside the top fifty and have gotten some recent love from my playlist... they include "Hey Soul Sister" by Train... "Travelin Soldier" by The Dixie Chicks... "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John... "Relator" by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson... "You Give Good Love" by Whitney Houston... "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis... "Right Round" by Flo Rida... "I Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum... "Everything Zen" by Bush... and, of course... "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus
Now, here's the Top Ten... a little eclectic, but a little predictable all the same... 10. Collide by Howie Day (53)... I cannot even name another Howie Day song. But I love this one. I told The Lovely Steph Leann if I played guitar and could sing, this would be part of my set.
9. ...And Our Feelings by Babyface (54)... This is a perfect song to sing while driving. My vocals get nowhere near the level of Babyface, but that doesn't mean I don't try.
7-tie. How to Save a Life by The Fray (55)... This and their other big song, perhaps one of the biggest, most awesome one-two song punches ever.
7-tie. You and I Both by Jason Mraz (55)... Its a great video, its a great song, and its also fun to sing. And the lyrics are easier to learn than "The Remedy".
6. My Boo by Usher (ft Alicia Keys) (56)... I was a little surprised when I did this list how far up this list that "My Boo" ended up. But I'm perfectly okay with it.
5. Wildwood Flower by Reese Witherspoon (57)... I bought the "Walk the Line" soundtrack, and I'll be honest, I listened to this song non-stop. When I first got my iPod, I remember this song being the first one to 20 plays ever.
4. Fergalicious by Fergie (Video) (58)... Fine. I'll admit it. I like this song, and this video is fun. I would venture to guess that 40 of the plays were done within a year of it being released.
3. Love Song by Sara Bareilles (59)... If I could use the Billboard Charts term "with a bullet" on my own little list, than I would use it here with this song. I wouldn't be shocked to see this become number one in the near future, because I am completely addicted to this song.
2. Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake (61)... What can I say? Timberlake is cool. The song is cool.
1. Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray (63)... Again, I'm not entirely sure how this song got so high, number one in fact, but I make no apologies. It is a song that I could listen to non-stop (and have) and not get tired of (I haven't).
So what about you? Does your list of favorite songs and your actual play counts tell two different stories?
THE RESULTS... Just got home from The Happiest Place in the Mall, celebrating Earth Day by collecting a few thousand plastic water bottles for recycling... and now I'm here to recycle the jokes and watch the recycled group song (or fast forward, like you know I will...)
Hopped on Facebook, and thankfully I didn't see any news of who may or may not be kicked off... tonight, we lose two... because
THIS IS AMERICAN
IDOL
Seacrest lets me know the theme of the medley that I'll be skipping tonight (disco, natch) and the performance that I'll be skipping (Young Archie) so hopefully, I can miss that dreaded Ford commercial as well. The judges. Randy the Dawg, Simon the Cowell, Paula the Blunderer and Kara the New Hotness, are here, and we now watch Paula the Flake do the choreography for this week's group song.
Paula Abdul.... I used to have the hottest poster of her on my wall. She was part of my early celebrity crush lineage.... Nancy McKeon to Alyssa Milano to Debbie Gibson to Mariah Carey to Paula Abdul. Back in day, like many of today's musical jokes, Paula was awesome diggity. Seriously.
By the way, after the group song, they award Paula with some flowers... she comes onstage to hug them in a dress so short that Seacrest tells her to be careful.
Anyway, her first CD was "Forever Your Girl", but to me, the crown jewel was "Vibeology", an immaculate album of cool dance beats, fun songs and Paula at her premier hotness... and of course, it spawned one of the greatest, most epic, most incredible, most unintentionally hysterical videos in the history of the known world. Forget "The Matrix", or "Speed" or even the Oscar winning "Hardball"... no, Keanu Reeves finest moment...
I've posted this video before, but as my audience grows, I must give more chances for more people to witness this vision of visionary visions. You'll see this again when I finally do my post on my ten favorite music videos of all time...
Seacrest kills some time while the chicks change clothes... the guys do it faster. Always. Alright, Mindy D'A, dim the lights... let's start with... Lil Rounds. Her time has passed, she's gotten too many chances. Alexis Grace should be here right now. She takes a walk to the far side of the stage to the Silver Stools of Failure, though Seacrest doesn't actually say she's in the Bottom Three.
He doesn't have too, actually... he drops the bomb on her like The Gap Band, and just flat out tells her "Get out, chick." And she grabs the mic to kick Chaka Khan in the face again with her "I'm Every Woman".
Here's how the song should be sung... from one of the most underrated movies of all time... "The Bodyguard".
We're back now with Seacrest, welcoming... someone. Who? Frieda Payne? Who? Was Donna Summer really not available? They did 4,288 of her songs last night, putting Donna back in the spotlight, and she seriously couldn't find the time to come to Idol? What else is she doing? Nothing, that's what!!
Ah... here's Thelma Houston. "aaaawwwwww bbbbaaaaayyyyybbbaaaaayyy.... my heart is full and desire for you! So come on now and do what you know you gots to do!" The cut to Paula the Flake, who is standing and dancing, and Simon the Cowell has a big, toothy grin on his face. I think I've decided I want Thelma Houston to play at my birthday party this summer. Oh, come on, you know YOU would totally come to d$'s 34th Annual Birthday Bash in August if Thelma Houston was going to be there! She could just sing this song about 9 times and I'd be alright. The Lovely Steph Leann, can you get on that?
KC, sans Sunshine Band, comes out singing, what else, "Get Down Tonight". Dude looks like a trucker straight off of "To Catch a Predator". In fact, Chris Hansen might be in the second row... maybe its the botox or whatever, but KC is hard pressed to show any emotion whatever. He has this "Joker" type grin going on, and I mean Jack's, not Heath's. He's struggling to get down tonight, too. And where is the Sunshine band? Are they hanging with Donna Summer?
And we're back... alright Cindy Jo, dim the lights. Its time to show some Bottom Three-ness. One of the Silver Stools of Failure has been taken away...
Kris Allen stands up. Last night? Best performance of the night. Maybe the coolest, anyway. America votes... and Kris is safe. The Ambiguously Gay Adam stands up, with very little worry of anything, really. He's kinda got a Gay Chris Isaak coif going on, just much darker. He sits in safety.
The Widower Danny Gokey stands up. How does he actually have exactly the same amount of stubble every week? Does he time this every week? He sits. Naturally.
This now leaves Matty G, Anoop the Eyebrowed One and My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta... with two Silver Stools of Failure still unseated. Anoop nods knowingly as he is in the Bottom Two. Matty G and My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta stand up together...
Seacrest stretches it out as long as possible before finally sending My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta to the Silver Stools of Failure. And extra set of stools have been brought out, one for each of Anoop's eyebrows.
Young David Archuleta does his thing, I skip it entirely, and let's do the final results. KT, dim the lights. Seacrest holds the card... and Anoop Dogg is gone now. And before he sings his final song, he declares jihad on the entire show. Not good times. Its better this way, though... now the terrorists don't win. Well... considering our president... oy!
_______________________
PERFORMANCES.... Just a quick note before we start... Jason Bateman. I did a review on "State of Play" a few days ago, and Mindy D'A reminded me that I didn't mention Jason Bateman... he steals the latter half of this movie, by the way, and I can only attribute the fact that it was late when I blogged about it as the reason I left Bateman out. He is brilliant in this, and you need to know this.
Now...
THIS
IS
AMERICAN
IDOL
DISCO NIGHT
This is going to be the train wreck of the season, as it usually is. Seriously. I mean, when they are sitting around the table, and the producers are trying to come up with the themes, you reckon someone says, "Okay, we got country week... we got birth-year week... we got movie night... all the weeks are taken but one... what do we fill that one with?"
"What about Billy Joel Week? The songs of Billy Joel?" "No, that's too old." "What about... maybe Past Idol Tunes week? Songs from Kelly and Ruben and Taylor and Carrie and such." "Nope, that's not good either" And some drunk guy in the back stands up and says, "I think we should do disco week. Again!" "PERFECT! Cause Barry Gibb was amazing last year!"
Here's what he sang... "Theres a. Light. Some kind. Of light..." It was horrendous--so bad, that to this day, I still make fun of it.
But as it is, this is Disco Week. If Lil Rounds doesn't blow this out the water, then there IS NO HOPE for her. Without a video (they probably only have one for The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and The Goke), they let her go straight into Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman."
And I notice that in the hotpants she's wearing, she's got back for days. Literally, I could take this Chipotle Mexican Grill cup of ice cold Co-cola and set it on the top of that thing. She's close the judges, but her bum is straight back, rubbing the video screen.
Randy the Dawg says, "You got the party started... but..." and its not good. He says that she didnt show what kind of artist she could be, and seriously, by now, there isn't any chance she will. Kara the New Hotness says, "We've been waiting for you to sing Chaka or someone and show us what you can do... and really, I don't think its worth the wait. You literally have been every woman up there this year." Paula the Flake goes through butterflies and puppy dog tails. Simon the Cowell says it was copycat and messy.
Kris Allen is holding a guitar for Disco Week. Is there really any guitar music ever actually in any disco song you know? And he picked out "She's Works Hard for the Money" by Donna Summer, and as he says, its a song about a woman who has a great work ethic. Yep, she works hard. For her money.
I look over at The Lovely Steph Leann, smiling and simply say, "I dig this guy." She chirps, "I LOVE KRIS ALLEN!!" Dude, this is awesome. He's got the band on the stage, pounding the bongos, playing guitar and really... and this is the first time I've said this so far this season... I might consider buying a Kris Allen CD. And for the first time this year, a performance that I might actually consider in the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2009, along with Chipotle, lunch with Stan McDuffie and Mindy D'A herself...
Kara the New Hotness sings his praises. Paula... oh, Paula Paula Paula. I cannot even describe what I just heard. "Some women shop in the men's department, but few men shop in the women's department", leading to all sorts of Kris Allen Buys Chick Undies jokes... Simon the Cowell says it was completely opposite of Lil Rounds, and that it was fantastic. Randy the Dawg says it was awesome.
The Lovely Steph Leann begins a real rant... "I mean, come on, I know it was mess up Idol's perfect little word to have Kris Allen in the top two and not The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert or The Widower Danny Gokey, but REALLY!!! HE'S AWESOME!!! WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO??!!"
So let's now give it to The Goke himself, The Widower Danny Gokey... he's doing "September" by Earth Wind & Fire. This is a hard song for a white boy to pull off, really. I'll be honest, I make fun of (with?) the guy, but he can sing. He's got a great voice. But he's done very little to impress me so far.
This used to be my ringtone on my first cell phone I ever got. I remember using it as a wake up alarm on missions in New York City in 2005.
Randy the Dawg said he wasn't sure about the song choice originally, but he really like the version that The Gokinator made happen. Kara the New Hotness--and really, she is pretty hot, and I think she gets finer as the season goes on--loved it. She loved the pitch. Paula the Blitherer blitherers. She says he's got a sexy voice. Cindy Jo agrees. Simon the Cowell likes The Widower Danny Gokey, but didn't like the song.
My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta must defend her My Next American Idol crown against challenger Kris Allen tonight. She's doing "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer, and chick is laying on the stairs, slinking up across the stage and if she were a) older than 16 and b) prettier, then she'd be pretty hot right about now. But as she's neither, I can say she looks pretty cool.
I love me some Jailbait Ally... but I didn't like the song all that much. Randy the Dawg thought the arrangement was overindulgent, but says she's one of the best singers in the competition. I think we've heard "And you're only 16!!" or some variation of that has been said about 53,000 times this year. Kara the New Hotness agrees with Randy the Dawg. Paula the Blubberer blubberers. Simon the Cowell says it was a brilliant performance.
And now its time for The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert. He's doing... or will destroy... "If I Can't Have You" by Yvonne Elliman, one of my favorite disco songs from that era. Seriously, I love that song.
And he turns it into a ballad. I think he's actually a pretty smart guy... he'll do a rape of a certain classic, like last week, then come back the next week and play it safe, sing it pleasantly cool, and wait for the judges to heap praises onto him. And right at the end, he throws in his "WHHHAAAAAAAAYAYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHH" scream. Its a patented move now. Yes, yes, the song was good. But its The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert.
Randy the Dawg says it was awesome. Kara the New Hotness says this was the most memorable performance, and I completely disagree. Kris Allen has stolen this show. Paula the Blabberer blabberers, while Simon the Cowell laughs at her. Simon the Cowell was surprised is that it wasn't Donna Summer, but loved it and the immaculate vocals.
Personally, I think The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert should have done... "YMCA"? "Macho Man"? "In the Navy"? Ha! I tell The Lovely Steph Leann this joke, and she rolls her eyes.
My favorite disco songs ever... in no particular order...
"Dancing Queen" by ABBA, though I can't truly rule this straight disco, and if ABBA is disco, then I can't say that "Dancing Queen" is my favorite ABBA song, because its a toss up between "Mamma Mia" and "S.O.S.".
"If I Can't Have You" by Yvonne Elliman. The real version, not the one The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert just took an Ambiguously Gay dump on.
"Last Dance" by Donna Summer. Its quick, its fun, its sing alongable.
"When Will I See You" by The Three Degrees. Soft. Tender. Sensative. Like me.
"Don't Leave Me This Way" by Thelma Houston. You'd know this if you heard it... it starts out slower, then kicks in "ooooohhhhhh baby! my heart is full o'love and desire for you!"
"The Rubberband Man" by The Spinners. I don't have a single clue what this song is about, nor do I care. Its just cool, cool funk.
"We Want the Funk" by George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic. Can you get a much cooler name than Parliament Funkadelic. I think not.
And yes, I'm thrilled by the fact that this album is called "Kung Fu Fighting and Other Love Songs". The unintentional comedy scale just broke.
"Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas. Seriously, how does a black man in the 70s come up with the idea of writing a song--a racist song at that, with Chinamen and Lil Sammy Chong--about kung fu movies and such? I am sure wacky terbacky was involved. (more on this at the bottom of the blog...)
"Best of My Love" by The Emotions. "Whoa oh, you get the best of my love, whoa oh... you get the best of my love!" Possibly my favorite disco classic.
I ask The Lovely Steph Leann her favorite disco songs, and she shrugs. "I like that Yvonne song I guess... I dunno... 'I Will Survive'... maybe? I don't even know what there is..."
Thats true with Disco. I had to pull up iTunes and actually look at my Disco genre.
Back to the show, where Seacrest alludes to Matty G doing "Stayin' Alive". Could this be true?
Without hearing the version, I call it--Lil Rounds and Matty G go home. If you are The Widower Danny Gokey or The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, you can do "Stayin' Alive" and get away with it. If you are fighting for your life, you don't do "Stayin' Alive". You find something you can absolutely nail. Something you can blow out. This song? No.
He comes out, puts a little rock/soul spin on it, and it sounds pretty good. Heck, if you are doing to do something risky and crazy, go "Atomic Dog". Who wouldn't have wanted to hear Matty G go "Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay"?
Randy the Dawg didn't love the song, but still says that Matty G can really sing. Kara the New Hotness says she was glad that Matty G brought disco back to the night. Paula the Wanderer wanderers, making a bowling metaphor of some sort. Right up her alley. Simon the Cowell didn't like it.
Anoop the Eyebrowed One closes out the show, and I wonder what ballad he's going to do. And I say this right before the guitar starts with the ballad music. Its a song called "Dim the Lights", and hey... the song picks up. Its one I'm not familiar with, but its by, again, Donna Summer.
When I made my prediction about who's going home, I literally forgot that Anoop the Eyebrowed One was even in this show... Randy the Dawg liked it. Kara the New Hotness liked it. Paula the Wisdomer dispenses wisdom. Er. Simon the Cowell disagrees with everyone, not liking the song at all, and thought it was the worst Eyebrowed performance by a mile.
So here's how it goes down... Kris Allen. My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta. Matty G. The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert. The Widower Danny Gokey. The Eyebrowed Anoop Doggy Dogg. Lil Rounds.
As they are showing the clips again, and reminding you of the numbers, The Lovely Steph Leann goes on another mini-rant about Kris Allen, and how he's getting no love from the judges, and she doesn't know what he can do to make them say "you can win this thing!"
And for me, Disco Week wasn't all that bad this year. Results tomorrow night!
So after the show was over, I was still curious about Carl Douglas writing and performing "Kung Fu Fighting". I mean, really. This is like me sitting down and writing a ballad about political espionage, cause I liked those kind of films. I ventured over to Carl's Wiki page, and here is what he lists as his three factors for writing this song...
1. He liked Kung Fu movies, and had seen them recently. Granted. 2. Went to a jazz concert featuring Oscar Peterson, a legendary jazz pianist, and was inspired by some of his music and finally... 3. Was suffering from the side effects of pain killers.
Ladies and gentleman, I think we have a winner. Option #3. Yep, I noticed its not even in sync. Just like a great kung fu movie. Everyone now... "Wha ho ho hoooooooo.... Wha ho ho hooooo..... Wha ho ho hoooooo.... Wha ho ho hoooooo...."
So, Seacrest comes on and tells us that he has the results... results that may shock us all. Hmm... perhaps The Ambigiously Gay Adam is the odd boy out? Of course, the judges can save one person, once in the entire season--and of course, they didn't use it with Jazz Murray or Jorge the Latin Lover.
My prediction of who should go home? Well, as much as I want to say the obvious, the guy is talented. Even though I don't like him. The weakest, though, and the one who doesn't have a shot in Ensley of winning this thing? Mike the Oil Rigger, followed closely by Scott the Blind Guy and possibly MJC. Then again, if Lil Rounds goes home, its not going to shock me.
The Lovely Steph Leann just raved about The Ambigiously Gay Adam, how effortless he sang, how his voice moves back and forth with so little strain, and so on and so on. I threw up in my mouth twice as she raved.
But first, here's the reason we should let the whole thing record, then watch it via DVR... the group song. Tonight its a butchery of "T-R-O-U-B-L-E" by Travis Tritt...
Ever see one of those quiz things in bars and wing places, and though you aren't playing, you end up guessing, even silently, the answers? You ever find a question that the answer given is kinda wrong? That happened tonight as The Lovely Steph Leann and I had some wings for dinner over at Buffalo Wild Wings... she had the teriyaki, I had the parmesian garlic... the question on the screen was "His second hit was the self-penned 'Anymore'" and the choices were Travis Tritt, Tracy Lawerence, and two others I don't remember. The answer, of course, was Travis Tritt, but the question was wrong. Yes, "Anymore" was an excellent song (with an equally excellent, albeit unintentionally funny, video).
Tritt released "Country Club" and had five hit singles, including the title track, "Drift Off to Dream", "Help Me Hold On", "Put Some Drive In Your Country" and "I'm Gonna Be Somebody. His second album was called "Its All About to Change", and featured "Here's a Quarter (call someone who cares)'", "Anymore", "The Whiskey Ain't Working" and "Nothing Short of Dying", so really, "Anymore" was like, Tritt's 7th single. Very annoying to know so much random crap, and to be able to tell when the Wings quiz show is wrong.
And yes, this entire paragraph got me through the group song, the commercials and partly through the horrendous Ford commercial. I think it would be funny, though, to see Scott the Blind Guy driving in one of these videos.
I guess to kill the hour, we see video of what happens when Idols go home, Mike the Oil Rigger talking to his daughter and video of everyone covering their mouths during rehearsal due to MJC's illness...
The Widower Danny Gokey is safe... remember, the Top Ten go on tour, so you'll see The Goke on the road. Lil Rounds sits down, she's on the tour as well, and freaks out when she's told to sit. The Eyebrowed One, Anoop Dawg stands. Seacrest discusses the judges comments last night, and Anoop Dawg is safe.
Red Ally and Mike the Oil Rigger both stand... never good when two stand, especially when one was a bit iffy last night. Seacrest asks Paula to guess who is in the bottom three, and Paula stammers and stumbles and stutters and mutters and Simon says "Answer the question" about fifteen times. And Red Ally is... in the Bottom Three. Booo!! Mike the Oil Rigger still stands, asking aloud, "What does that mean for me?" And he's in the Bottom Three as well. He joins Red Ally on the Silver Stools of Jeopardy.
And here to perform his new single "Then", Grand Ol Opry member Brad Paisley. With a name like "Paisley" and his boyish goofy look, I wasn't a Brad Paisley fan to begin with... but over the years, I've really started to pay attention to his music and ya know what? I really like this guy. Seriously, with "I'm Gonna Miss Her" and "Whiskey Lullaby" and "Online" and heck, who doesn't love a song that suggests searching his loved one for "Ticks"?
Back now... the American Idol results are in. Scott the Blind Guy stands up... he's going on tour with the top ten. Up next? Megan Joy Corkery, who has this look of "oh crap" on her face. The judges loved her, but really, I just thought she was okay... sort of weird. But either way, she's safe.
Matty G stands. And I just noticed that Alexis Grace and The Ambigiously Gay Adam are sitting at the end of the bench... so after telling Matty G he's safe, which Seacrest just did, he'll tell Kris Allen he's safe, which he just did... and now, Alexis and The Ambigiously Gay Adam stand together.
Simon admits that he rewatched the show after going home, and says, "Adam, it was even worse the second time." Seacrest goes judge by judge, asking their opinions, and The Lovely Steph Leann rolls her eyes and says, "Oh, blah blah, let's go..."
And who is in the bottom three? Alexis Grace. The Ambigiously Gay Adam sits down, to freak us out and make our skin crawl next week. Seacrest decides to send one back to safety... Red Ally goes back to the Couch of Anxiety.
I blame the judges. I completely blame Paula, Simon, Kara and Randy for their hypocritical comments of Alexis Grace, because no, she didn't sound anything like Dolly Parton, even though they said she did, and if she had sounded just like her, they would have chided her for sounding too much like the artist. They chided her for not picking a raw song with angst, as if "Jolene", because a song about a chick desperately trying to protect her man from being stolen by the town hottie didn't provide enough angst. All the while, they pour on affection, love and emotion for The Ambigiously Gay Adam and a very subpar The Widower Danny Gokey. Yes, yes, the people vote, but listen, this is a nation who believed everything that President B. Hussein Obama told them (and see what we got??) so I can fully believe that many people who voted believe much of what the judges tell them. I blame the judges. Okay, the show is back on, I'm done.
But before we find out the results, we see Carrie Underwood discussing how wonderful her life has been, and Seacrest's narration tells us that she's had 9 consecutive #1 singles, won over 40 awards for her career, and been nominated for Entertainer of the Year. And you can add to that list "And she never dissed the show that created it all for her, unlike Kelly Clarkson, so we'll continue the Carrie love fest forever!" Not saying she doesn't deserve it, cause Carrie Underwood is feeeee-nominal...
She and Randy Travis are doing a duet called "I Told You So", which led me to ask The Lovely Steph Leann, "Is this a remake of the old Randy Travis song?" She shrugs, unknowing, but when Carrie starts, "Suppose I called you up tonight and told that I loved you..." I nodded. Yep. This is an old school Randy song from the 80s, from the 1987 album "Always & Forever". The song is also Carrie's 5th single from her fantabulous second album, "Carnival Ride".
Simon reveals that one of the two, Alexis and Mike the Oil Rigger, is worth a save-consideration. Though Alexis is probably not ready to admit it to herself, Mike the Oil Rigger is thinking "uh-oh".
And the voters say... Mike the Oil Rigger is... safe. WHAT? WHAT??? Alexis Grace could be going home? What? Uh... though I'm not shocked, I'm a little unhappy with this item. So Simon tells her that she is going to sing, and they'll save her based on what she will do right here and right now. She sings "Jolene" again. And understandably, her voice is a bit crackedy, and she's about ten feet in front of all four judges, who are huddled and staring at her and whispering to themselves.
The judges say... it wasn't good enough. They keep the "save". Alexis Grace goes home, and though she's been told by the judges now that she's got an amazing career ahead of her, let's be honest... how many 10th, 11th and 12th place Idol contestants do you remember? Brandon Rogers? Julia DaMato? Amy Adams? Vanessa Oliverez? Maybe Chris Sligh? Exactly. Alexis will drift into the back of our memories, while, like Sanjaya, The Ambigiously Gay Adam will be stuck forever. I'm bitter. Very, very bitter.
________________________________________
THE PERFORMANCES....
Thankfully, this Tuesday has been much, much less eventful than the previous, so tonight, we'll turn to...
THIS IS AMERICAN
IDOL
So how's this for vague? Not just country music... not just songs from The Grand Ol' Opry. Its songs from artists who are members of The Grand Ol' Opry, whether their songs are featured in the walls of the Opry or not.
This is a hoot, because I grew up on old school country music... The Statler Brothers, Johnny Cash, The Mandrell Sisters, The Oak Ridge Boys, even early Judds and early Randy Travis, who just so happens to be mentoring the contestants tonight.
Don't get me wrong... I love Carrie Underwood, and Garth Brooks and Clint Black and Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss and of course, Pickles--I love Pickles!--and so on and so forth, but old country is still classic. And to see Randy Travis teaching them is kinda funny... he's like the old uncle that you don't want to talk to, but is actually in fact wise beyond his years. And he was in the Patrick Swayze Magnum Opus, "Black Dog".
Aw... did you know she's coming to B'ham in September? Will I go? I just might.
Jorge the Latin Lover and Jazz Murray left tonight. Eleven more perform tonight.. its 8pm, so we'll see if we can catch up to the show in an hour. Country Week is going to be a little tougher, maybe tougher than Michael Jackson, because at least with Jacko, you have a slight range of music--but with Country? All sorts.
Simon makes a point that he doesn't care for country music at all... and we know this.
Mike the Oil Rigger apparently is going to take on some Garth, singing "Ain't Goin' Down Til the Sun Comes Up", which as Seacrest points out, "He has a lot of words to memorize".... but really, any country fan, ie, Garth Fan, worth his salt knows every word to this song. And its one of those you can't just jump in mid-verse... you gotta start that off right at the beginning. "Six o'clock on Friday evenin', mama doesn't know she's leavin'..." gets you going.
Not sure if I liked Mike the Oil Rigger's performance, or I just happened to really like the song, but I think it was pretty good. Randy says it was a cool song choice, though it didn't bring out certain vocal capabilities. Kara liked his personality, but wants the big notes. Paula liked it. Simon couldn't understand it, though Mike the Oil Rigger said, "Country folks understood it."
Here comes Red Alley, aka, Allison Iraheta. She's going to do "Blame It On Your Heart" by Patty Loveless, who I really dig. Actually, its "Blame it on your lyin', cheatin', cold dead beatin' two timin', double dealin', mean mistreatin', lovin' heart." Just so you know.
Her voice is just awesome, by the way. She's not to the point where I'm ready to crown her My Next American Idol, but I look forward to hearing her in the upcoming weeks, perhaps a rock week or something like that. And I really like her take on this song... very rockabilly.
Two songs in a row that I could sing from from to back, start to finish on my own. Love it.
Kara loved it. Paula talks about flowers and rainbows and pink clouds. Fluffy puffy poo. Simon said it was good, but perhaps a little out of tune here and there. Randy thought it was DOPE! Indeed.
One of my favorites last week, Kris Allen comes out, though he is singing "Make You Feel My Love", another Garth song that either he lent to Billy Joel, or Billy Joel lent to Garth, who knows. (actually upon looking it up, its a Bob Dylan song). This is dangerous, by the way, because slow, soft ballads like this can show off alot or really backfire.
This from the musical expert, right?
It was good, but it was slow. Paula was pleasantly surprised. Every word seems to be a struggle for her, though I'm not sure if this is any different than any other week. Simon thought it was terrific, and thinks it was a great song choice. Randy thought it was really cool, "with tender moments with my dawg Kris. A tender dawg." Kara loved it.
Oh, another note... its from the movie "Hope Floats", one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my entire life.
Lil Rounds! She's like Brad Pitt... I want to not like her, but I just can't help myself, really. I just like 'em. She's bringing home Martina McBride's "Independence Day", which you cannot, must not and shall not sing unless you have one heckuva voice. Martina is like the white, non-crack, non Bobby, country version of Whitney. And Martina? Totally a member of the Ashley Judd Club. In great standing.
Its kinda weird though to see a black chick take on such a country staple. Another song I can sing front to back... I liked Lil Rounds singing this, but it was not nearly as big as I thought it was going to be... she should have wailed that song at the end... it looked uncomfortable, and sounded so.
Randy felt the same way. Of course, since Idol's producers love Lil Rounds, doing something a little different will be okay for her, right? All great artists take chances, right? Kara says just as much. You let MJC do this, sound exactly the same, and I guarantee they slam her for song choice, and picking too big a song. Paula liked it, but felt she should have sang different parts. Simon, who calls her "Lit-Tul", and then finally "Lil", says it came over as a wedding singer that is forced to sing a song that someone else has requested. He is wondering where the Mary J ("Blige" not "Jane", by the way) went.
After four... its Red Ally, Kris Allen, Mike the Oil Rigger, Lil Rounds
And now here comes The Ambibiously Gay Adam Lambert. A guy like Adam is the kind of guy that a guy like Randy would just as soon shoot. The Ambigously Gay Adam is going to try to take on "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, but put a different spin on it.
THIS SONG SUCKS!!!
You know what this reminds me of? When Alex and Sophie write this sweet little ballad song in "Music and Lyrics" and then Cora, the arrogant pop star turns the song, "Way Back Into Love", into this weird, freaky, sexual, unnecessary tune. If Johnny Cash were alive, he would likely come out and put a size 12 cowboy boot in The Ambigiously Gay Adam's face.
Kara thought it was strange. But then she tosses on "But I kinda liked it!" at the end, almost as if the producers yelled, "We love this guy! Say something nice, or your fired!" Paula would hand her rooms keys over, though she's not sure if she'd get some action or they'd compare shoe shopping experiences. Simon? "I think was Randy Travis was trying to say is 'What the heck was that?'" Randy (Jackson) says it was fresh and hot and all that. I hated it.
The Lovely Steph Leann, however, really likes him. Seriously. She, for weeks now, has gone on and on about how amazing his voice is, and his vocal talent, and how great he is and how talented he is and blah and blah and blah... we're in counseling now.
Scott the Blind Guy is going to sing another Martina song, "Wild Angels", to which Randy Travis says, "When I first heard this idea, I thought 'not a good idea'." But he came around to like the version.
This song has never been one of my top faves of Martina, though its not bad. And Scott the Blind Guy's version is not bad, either. Its funny, for me Martina McBride is one of those artists who has songs that I really don't like, but conversely, the songs I do like, I really, really like.
Paula is impressed, though he should step away from the piano. Simon says that is a stupid idea. He does criticize the song choice, but Scott the Blind Guy jokes, "I've lost a lot of hat picks". Randy says it wasn't the song, but is looking for better vocals. Kara sums up by challenging him to "up the game a little bit."
Here's how Martina should sound... and any song about an abused wife blowing her house up with her jerkweed husband in it? Good stuff. And for folks like Brad Latta, I didn't post the song for the opening remarks, I posted it for the quality of the performance...
Alexis Grace, who looks ravishing, is up next. She does the right thing by buttering up Randy Travis, telling him how great he is... then she tells him that she'll be singing "Jolene" by Dolly Parton, one of my favorite old school songs, and one of my favorite two or three Dolly songs.
"Jolene" is a song about a chick of the same name, who is movin' in on the singer's man. The singer is begging Jolene to back off, because Jolene is apparently the new hotness, and can have any man she wants, but "please don't take my man... just because you can."
I do love me some Alexis Grace. Lovin' this version, by the way.
Randy wasn't sure about the notes, and tried to make it more bluesy than it should be. Kara tells her she lost her edge, and maybe she should have gone with "Last Name" or "Before He Cheats". I can't believe this, but when Paula says, "I think that song served you better than they think you did", I agree with her. I think Alexis Grace did a great job with it, and "Jolene" is just the right kind of angst song that suited her well. Simon didn't like it all that much.
Kara and Paula say they "miss the dirty"... what is this, American Stripper?
While I think The Widower Danny Gokey looks kinda like my buddy Justin Fisher, The Lovely Steph Leann still calls him Robert Downey Junior Junior.
He's going to be singing "Jesus Take the Wheel"... the video shows us him messing up over and over in front of Randy Travis... while The Widower Danny Gokey laughs, Randy looks unamused. The camera only shows him from the waist up at first, and in that white jacket, The Widower Danny Gokey looks like a Hoth Stormtrooper, sans the helmet.
So, he sounded okay, but I didn't think it was all that wonderful. The Lovely Steph Leann liked it, though she's been sipping on Gokey-Aid for a few weeks.
Either the judges will love him, or they'll use the words "indulgant" at some point.
Kara didn't like the first part, but loved the second part when "you hit your stride!" Paula loved all of it. Still struggling for words. And coherent sentences. Simon agrees with Paula, disagreeing with Kara. He doesn't like the outfit, using the words "polar expedition"... to Hoth?? Randy didn't like the verses, but loved the chorus.
After eight... Alexis Grace, Red Ally, Kris Allen, The Widower Danny Gokey, Mike the Oil Rigger, Scott the Blind Guy, Lil Rounds, The Ambigiously Gay Adam
Here comes Anooooooooop Dawg. The Eyebrowed One himself will be singing Willie Nelson's immortal classic, "You're Always On My Mind", which was redone by The Pet Shop Boys in the mid-80s. The Boys version was good, but not like Willie.
That might be the first time Randy Travis has ever actually said a Middle Eastern name out loud.
And... it sounds marvelous. Seriously. The Eyebrowed One is bringing it... were this done in 1992, I can honestly say I would consider buying the cassette single of this song, a la Michael Bolton's "When a Man Loves a Woman". And as I was in the middle of typing that last sentence, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "You know... he kinda reminds me of Michael Bolton... in a good way!"
The other night at Jason and Emmy Turnbow's house, our friend Heather King said, "You two compliment each other perfectly!" and Emmy nodded, and mouthed "Yes. Yes."
See what they mean??
But remember, Anoop Dawg isn't The Ambigiously Gay Adam or Lil Rounds, so will the producers tell the judges to really like him?
Paula loved it. Simon said, "You managed to go from Zero to Hero. That was a good, solid song." Randy loved it, cause he liked the vocals and the arrangement, which was dope. Kara commends him for doing what he did tonight, because it is so hard to do with that kind of classic song.
Up now is Megan Joy Corkery singing a country standard, that being "Walkin' After Midnight". Randy says, "This song has been done in every possible way over the years", though he liked MJC's take on it.
Can MJC sing Patsy? Not easy. Except for the tats up her right arm, MJC looks smokin' hot. Not that the tattoos are bad, they are just distracting with that sleeveless dress on. MJC definately has a different sound on the song... not sure if I like it or not, really.
And I'm not sure if MJC has on a dress, or simply a skirt and a boob separator/holder. The Lovely Steph Leann agrees.
Randy thought it was good, impressive. Kara acknowledges MJC having the flu, but liked it. Paula tells the world that MJC has already been to the hospital with her illness, as MJC coughs on stage. Simon says she looks great, but doesn't like the style. He did like the song, though.
Okay, I liked it. I'll admit it.
And to round out the show, in the pimp slot, Matty G. He'll be singing "So Small" by Carrie Underwood, and Randy isn't sure if this is a great song... but ends up liking it.
Matty G was one of my favorites last week, which was surprising. And this week? He sounds awesome. If I were to put this song, Matty G's version, in one of my playlists, it would probably go in with Howie Day and John Mayer and possibly Blessid Union of Souls. Dude sounds great.
Kara loves it, making a comment that forces out a "That's what she said", then a hearty laughter by me, followed by a eye roll from The Lovely Steph Leann. Paula tries to say Authenticity. After four tries, she gets it. Simon says it was great, reminding him of Buble. Randy said it was his favorite of the night.
In a year when I thought I was supposed to like Alexis, Lil Rounds and Scott the Blind Guy, and I end up liking Alexis, Matty G and Kris Allen. Who knew? This is American Idol.
So, tonight's favorites... Matty G, Anoop Dawg, Alexis Grace, Red Ally, Kris Allen, MJC, The Widower Danny Gokey, Mike the Oil Rigger, Scott the Blind Guy, Lil Rounds, four thousand other people who tried out, then The Ambigiously Gay Adam.
It's late, or maybe early. You haven't slept much, or perhaps you just woke up. Either way, your eyelids are heavy, your head feels like a one-ton weight, and at any moment, you get the sense you could just lay over and fall right asleep where you are.
But you can't. Because inches in front of you is the steering wheel. Your hands are on it. Your feet are on the pedals, or close to them if you have the cruise control. You are tired, you are sleepy and you are driving.
Its time for the driving anthems. Lean over, grab that CD, or maybe that iPod, or even that cassette tape you bought at Wal-Mart for $3.99 in the big wire rack. You know, the tape that says R-E-O on it.
The guitar strums, then...
"...heard it from a friend who... heard it from a friend who... heard it from another you been messin' around..."
Some of you are smiling right now, because know exactly what I'm talking about. Its not just the wagon, its the Speedwagon. The REO Speedwagon (and for those of you 20 and under, its not "Oreo" or "Rio", its pronounced like its spelled.. Are-Eee-Oh)
"Take it on the run baby, if thats' the way you want it baby, then I don't want you around. I don't believe it... not for a minute... your under the gun so you take it on the run..."
Some music isn't about whether its good or not... some music is just fun. Some music is made to be sung loudly, off key, and to have the entire room--or car--singing with you.
I had to make several trips last week on the road (hence no posts until today). I drove from my apartment to the Birmingham International Airport and Dance Club, picked up family, drove three hours to Dothan Alabama, stayed 45 minutes, then drove back to my apartment. All in one night. Left our door around 620pm. Got back around 3am. Yawn.
On the way back, I could tell The Lovely Steph Leann was dying to go to sleep. She wanted to lay her head back and just doze soooo badly, but she didn't. She stayed awake, talking to me, making sure I was okay as I drove. I had actually opened the store that morning, so I had been up since 4:30 that morning, so for me, it was a 23 hour day. "23 hours? Please. I stay up that late". Well, try running a Starbucks for nine hours, getting home, eating, cleaning up the apartment, then spending 7 of the next 9 hours driving.
To stay awake, I put the iPod on the dock in the car, and turned on "Steph's Playlist", which is a list that I created that includes all the stuff that we both like, including some Broadway, some country, mostly soft rock, pop and Christian... no hip hop (which I like) and no Barbra (which she likes). And REO Speedwagon's "Take It On the Run" came on. Within the first verse, we were both singing along, and by the second verse, we were both singing loudly. How can you not?
Some of you--Paula, NYC Jenni, perhaps Wendi Miller--are humming the tune to yourself right now, I'll bet.
That got me to thinking... anthem songs. Songs that make you sing them loudly. I think there are some, like "Take It On the Run" that are universal. There are probably some that are individual. What makes an anthem song for me is this:
1) You know all the words. You have to be able to sing along to it. This pretty much takes out "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard... most people only know a few phrases... "you got the peaches, I got the cream... um... take sugar, one lump or two?" This also excludes "Hip Hop Hooray", because lets face it, the only words anyone besides Treach knows to that song are "hip", "hooray" and "hop".
2) Has to be a fun song. Nothing too serious. This takes out everything Seal, Sting or The Police.
3) "Anthem" does not mean your own personal soundtrack... "anthem" means it loud, its stadium worthy. This eliminates most Christian music
4) When caught singing it, most people won't make fun of you, they'll probably sing along. This cuts out most boy bands from recent years, though "Hangin' Tough" might get you some people singing... the words are obscure on that one, though (see Rule 1) 5) Has to be family friendly, at least to a point. At some parties I'm sure busting up with "Pop That Cootchie" from 2 Live Crew might make some people dance, but this isn't something you'll want to be singing at a church outing. So, this does cut out most hip-hop and rap, though "Baby Got Back" might be an exception. This might exclude Prince, though you have to determine if "Little Red Corvette" is appropriate for your audience, or if you are Paula Maddox.
Besides "Take It On the Run", here's what I came up with, for me at least...
"Keep On Loving You" by REO Speedwagon Kinda the same sound, but different. "And I meant every word I said, when I said that I loved you, I meant that I'll love you forever... I'm gonna keep on loving you... cause its the only thing I wanna do... I don't wanna sleep... I just wanna keep on lovin' you" If Steph ever said that to me, I'll know she's hard core faithful, because she loves to sleep. No joke.
"Makin' Love Out of Nothing at All" by Air Supply This song is really stupid, when you really pay attention to it. Its 4 minutes and 51 secondsof the pansiest, wussiest love song you'll ever hear... and its great. He's singing all these things he knows how to do, like whisper, cry, find the answers, lie, fake it, scheme, face the truth, dream, where to touch you, when to pull you closer and when to let you loose. He's never gonna tell you everything he's gotta tell you but he knows he's gotta give it a try. BUT... but... he don't know how you do it, making love out of nothing at all. When the first verse is over, that's when the singalong begins. Then, when the instrumental is over, oh boy, let's go crazy... "I can make the runner stumble, I can make the flying block, I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle, I can make all the stadiums rock!" Yes, this is a love song, not a cheerleading choir.
"Separate Ways" by Journey Conventional wisdom will tell you that "Don't Stop Believin" is the way to go here, but for my money, there are few song openings better than the keyboards that start "Separate Ways". Steve Perry is in all his "I'm trying to be bada** gangsta, but we all know I'm not" glory. For the longest time, though, when he sings "Here we stand, worlds apart, hearts are broken in two", I thought he said "Here we stand, Rosa Parks broken in two", and I could never figure out why the civil rights pioneer was mentioned in a Journey song. "Someday love will find you, break those chains that bind you, one night will remind you, howe touched and went our separate ways... if he ever hurts you, true love won't desert you, you know I still love you, though we touched and went our separate ways!"
"I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi A charter member in the "Stephanie Firth Club", Jon Bon Jovi sings this anthem and I immediately go back to 8th grade when the most beautiful girls in the world were Claudia Sorrells and Nicki Vann, and my biggest problems were that I ran for student council and lost. Again. (never fear, I won 4 years running starting in 9th grade) "Baby you know my hands are dirty (woman, you know my hands are dirty), but I wanted to be your valentine, I'll be the water when you get thirsty baby, when you get drunk I'll be the wine..."
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler How can you go wrong with this one? I mean, its one of those songs that if someone asked you how the second verse started, you'd have to go through the whole song to get to it... if its the regular boring radio version, its "every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be ". If its the true, full version, its "every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild" We did a drama to music to this a few years ago. It was interesting... not sure I'll ever do it again, but I thought it was awesome. I love how Bonnie screams "WE'RE LIVING IN A POWDER KEG AND GIVING OFF SPARKS!!!" and two lines later, she's lightly singing "...nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart". And the big bass drums in the instrumental... just cool.
"Fergilicious" by Fergie Just kidding, just kidding. Wanted to see if you were still with me.
"End of the Road" by Boyz II Men Unfortunately, we just don't hear the Boyz anymore. Obviously, they aren't on mainstream pop radio now, but even on our soft rock stations that play classic Bryan Adams and Phil Collins and old Sheryl Crow, no Boyz. Its a shame, really, because they had a good thing going for a while. My favorite B2M is "Motownphilly", which is probably the same for most, but 90% of you don't know the words to "Motownphilly"... but you do know the words to "End of the Road". It was the class song for the Samson High Class of 94 (mine was "Its So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" in 93... a B2M song about death, followed up by a B2M song about a broken heart. Go Tigers!) What's interesting about the Boyz is they started the deep voiceover trend... you konw, instead of a bridge, its Nate, Mike, Shawn or Wanya, whichever has the deep voice, talking, saying "baby, I love you baby, come back to me, I'm sorry baby, etc". They did this on most of their stuff, including "Water Runs Dry" and "On Bended Knee", and the trend carried onto Boyz II Men wannabes like 4P.M. and All-4-One.
Other Anthems That Probably Only Me Appreciate: "Say Say Say" by Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney "Sweet Child O'Mine" by Guns N Roses "Blaze of Glory" by Jon Bon Jovi "The Longest Time" by Billy Joel "When Doves Cry" by Prince & the Revolution "Sin Wagon" by The Dixie Chicks
I am leaving out a bunch of stuff. Later today, perhaps five minutes after I post this, I'll think of four songs that should have made this list... and hopefully, you'll comment and tell me what either keeps you awake or just makes you happy to sing loudly and shamelessly.
Until then, just one command... Turn around bright eyes. Turn around.
ps... as I was posting this, I randomly turned on Oasis and started belting out "how many special people change, how many lives are living strange, where were you while we were getting high?" at the top of my lungs. Sigh. I love music.
