top ten blogging in 2014

At the risk of being one of those blog sites who says "Hey, everyone come see how good I look!" or maybe "Hey, everyone come be moved by my brilliant words and the amazing way I put thoughts into verbal emotions!"... I thought this year's end might be a good idea to do something different.

For the first several years of the blogsite, maybe 2005 to 2011, I did a "Coolest 100 Things of the Year", and they were a collection of people, music, movies, events, life happenstances, books and more that I experienced or discovered for the first time in that particular year... and I'll honestly say, sometimes it was met with controversy over who/what got in, who/what got out, and a lighthearted look back for me turned into a little drama here and there, which made it not worth it. Oh, and I got lazy (what's new?) and even finished my favorite 100 things of 2011 IN the year 2013. I decided that was that for that segment.

But now, I look back at the year on the blog, and see that I've managed 85 posts (not counting this one). That number seems a bit inflated, as I participated in--and succeeded--in a challenge that had me blogging 33 straight days from late September to early November. Considering that is more blogging than I did from March thru September in total, "85" is a deceptive number, but here we are anyway.

January set forth my first writing challenge of the year, where I attempted to write an average of 500 words per day for the month. Then I set my goals for the year 2014, in Part One and then Part Two... and will probably give a post next week to let you know how I did (batting .300 is great in baseball right? Why can't it be okay for real life?).
As I mentioned before, October brought a 31 Day writing challenge, which I #humblebrag in saying that I more than completed. There are other challenges I failed to meet, like my attempt to take on the 100 Happy Days phase that is/was all over Instagram and Facebook, and what I was to call "My Summer of Happy", with 100 posts about things I enjoy. But I've come to learn that I can't give myself a topic, such as "Happy things", and expect myself to blog about that same topic for post upon post upon post... mostly because I'm all over the map, as anyone who has been here more than a few times will see.

So, for anyone new to the blog, or if you just want the good stuff, here are the ten posts this year that I really, really liked. And that's not including my homage to the late, great Casey Kasem... thoughts on Clint Eastwood's "Any Which Way You Can"... thoughts on Pitbull both here and here (yes--TWO posts about Pitbull. What.)... and writing with and without a filter.

2014's Top Ten, as chosen by me, based not only on popularity but also how much pride I had in it when re-reading it..

10... We decided to start (or, start again for the 10,000th time) on our spring cleaning. And when you have a pile of junk in the garage, it's worth documenting some of the strange things you come across. My friend Writer Chris Holmes said this was one of his favorite posts I've ever written... for pictures of not only rubber chickens and Microsoft 2003, but also the General Lee, here's "Things We Found In the Garage" from January 5th.

9... Sometimes as a writer, you just have to write, and sometimes it doesn't make any sense at all. Sometimes it's just a bunch of random words late at night that for whatever reason, a bunch of people tell they read and laughed at and enjoyed. What did I write? Nothing but the "Things Carly Simon Made Me Say Late at Night" from January 27th.

8... The fervor of the "Washington Redskins is a racist nickname" hit a fever pitch this past summer and I sat back and watched carefully, deciding where I fell on the issue (which is, that "Redskins" is not racist, or if it is, it's suspect to suddenly come after it now, after all this time). However, when a select few members of the University of Mississippi release a report saying how they are offended by the school's "Rebel" mascot... well, I just had to join in and declare "Ole Miss is Racist!". From August 9th.

7... I think one of my favorite posts from the last several years was actually one written in 2013, all about inclusion, which I'm passionate about (and likely fail miserably at doing). Another story was brought up in my mind this past spring, as I noticed on Facebook a high school friend of mine was having a birthday. I hadn't thought about him in years, and yet, the story of "Kenny Weeks & Wall Street Football" came rushing back--and had to be shared. From March 5th.

6... I love discussing pop culture, and I love making lists. So when I can do the two of them together, and talk about OutKast, Garth Brooks, Expose, Bob Seger, Janet Jackson, Taylor Swift, Fergie and more, I do it. All are including in my "Playlist for Hustla's", from January 17th.

5... With recent events in my own life (that I cannot share right here on this site, but you are welcome to ask about it), the words "leap of faith' stand out strong in my heart and mind. So re-reading this one made me smile. Because sometimes, you just have to get on that skateboard of life and ride... worried about safety? Remember that "You Can't Be Safe on a Skateboard". From February 4th.

4... Sometimes its the memories we have from our childhood that resonate with us 30 years later, much like this story from Samson Elementary, involving GI Joe, Wonder Woman and an unnamed kid who's spoils fuel the creativity of an unpopular 5th grader. It's all about getting "Clarity from an Invisible Jet", from February 10th.

3... Every year on his birthday, I make a note to Campbell, something I hope he will read when he gets older. This year's letter was popular with readers. From November 30th, "To Campbell, on Your 3rd Birthday" (his b'day is December 1st, it just got published literally 20 minutes from midnight, giving it a 11/30 publish date instead of a 12/1 date. Details, details.)

2... Ah, marriage. And pride. And pride in marriage can be a bad thing sometimes. It's a little story about butting heads as a husband and wife, and a lesson that "Pride Goeth Before the Squeeze" from February 24th.

And my favorite post of the year that I've written...

1... Autism is tough. It's a hard thing to push through, and it's tempting to wallow in parental misery about all the things you are missing. But one thing we are learning, re-learning and telling ourselves over and over is that The Lovely Steph Leann and I have to remember to "Don't Mourn the Can't, Instead Love the Can"

So there ya go... if you like one or more of those posts, then you'll enjoy the blog. If you clicked on a couple and decided "this guys sucks!", then I have a feeling this blogsite won't be for you. But you should come anyway, in case I write something that you do like! 

Thanks for reading.

the sneaky christians we are

"God, investigate my life, get all the facts first-hand. I'm an open book to you, even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave, and when I get back, I'm never out of your sight." -- Psalm 139:1-2

It's boys night tonight, as The Lovely Steph Leann is out of town for a work trip. I went to pick up little Campbell Isaiah from the grandparents house, brought him home, we played in the floor for a bit, and I fed him some dinner. I just realized I had Moe's Southwest at 3pm, and hadn't eaten anything before or since... crap, I'm hungry.

That's not my point.

After dinner, we do a little settling down kind of period. He does play in the floor with his toys, and we tend to have a battle over what he considers "his toys"... the big doggy with colored buttons shaped like circles and triangles on the front that play music? His toy. The DVD remote? Not his toy. The xylophone that sits on the back of a cute, plastic tiger? His toy. My iphone? Not his toy.

I'll sit in the recliner and try to do a little work, make a few notes here and there, usually while I'm watching tv (tonight is Monday, so it was WWE Raw, where The Rock came back, beat up on Rusev while making a Putin joke to Lana and... you know what, never mind that...)

Anyway, from where the recliner sits, I can see most of the room, so I can watch him carefully. And Campbell, 2 and a 1/2, with the mental development of about a 10 month old at this point, sees me. And he plots.

In The Cabana, the recliner its next to the couch, which extends to the border of the living room and dining area. We have a small gate up, going from the side of the couch to the wall, blocking off the area behind the couch--that area leads you to our DVD shelf, and ultimately, the front door. The DVDs are a factor because Campbell likes to pull them out, then not knowing how to put them back, he drops them on the floor, suddenly disinterested. The front door is a factor because he likes to stand there and play with the blinds, which we are afraid he's going to break one day... so we keep him from back there.

In front of this gate, which is really just two pieces of that plastic fence you can by at BuyBuy Baby, Babies R Us and some pawn shops and bait stores, we have put a small table. This is his table to play on, and though it comes with chairs, the chairs are put away because he likes to climb on them. And stand on them. And yes, fall off of them. Not good times... bad times indeed.

Another thing to watch is how he'll slide our dining room chairs around. And then climb into them. And then he's able to reach what he wants on the table... he usually doesn't know what he wants on the table, but he figures "what the heck, I'll climb up and see what's mine for the taking..."

Tonight, I watched him out of the corner of my eye. And he watched me, not quite as subtle. When he thought I wasn't looking, I saw him in my peripheral, slide two dining room chairs out, slowly and quietly. Methodically.

He positioned the chairs where the seats would face each other, and then looked at me. Still keeping my face to the TV, but watching him, I saw him put one foot on the bottom of the chair and stretch as far as he could with his hand to grab the back of the chair to pull himself up.

"Campbell..." I said, evenly. He froze. Looked up at me, and then slowly put his foot down. I turned my face back to the tv, still watching him out of the corner of my eye. He tried it again, when he thought I wasn't looking. "Campbell!" I said a little louder. "DOWN"

This time, he hopped down and ran across the room, immediately pushing the big red ball he plays with. 

I then watched him make it way to the gate. He stood on the corner of the couch, also watching TV like I was. And then--no kidding--he slowly BACKED UP out of my sightline behind the couch. I could hear a slight scraping sounds as the table was slid out of the way. "Campbell!" I said, "Stop!"

In a flash, he pushed the table back in place quickly so it made a much louder sound, slid it into the gate and then ran to the middle of the floor. Busted.

And over the course of two hours, he tried both of these things a few times, each time I would catch him, and each time he would run away, pretending to do something else.

"You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there too, your reassuring presence, coming and going." Ps 139:3-5

There he is, the little boy... thinking I won't see him, when in fact, I can see everything he does. He thinks he's covering his tracks, he thinks he's carefully planning, he thinks that when he puts everything in place--moving the chairs just so, moving the table slightly out of the way to open up a back of the couch front door tressel run--he can pull off his deed without a hitch, and no one will know anything.

But I know. I see it. And it disappoints me to know that not only is he doing wrong, he's trying to hide it. He's trying to fool me. He's trying to make it so no one knows he ever did it... like I try to hide my own sin. Like I try to fool God. Like I have my best laid plans in front of me, thinking that I've covered all my bases, thinking that I've thought of everything, and if I move slow, if I'm careful, if I do it right, it will all be fine...

...and we know its not. Because God sees it. God knows it. We can't hide it. And better yet, we shouldn't hide it. We are sinners by nature, and saved by Grace. 

And sometimes I think God just looks at us, shakes His head, and says, "you think you are sneaky Christians, don't you?"

"Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; see for yourself whether I've done anything wrong--then guide me on the road to eternal life" Ps 139:23-24 (The Message)

We are sneaky Christians. Sneaky Christians who never get away with it.

making a list, checking it twice

With the dawn of a new year, comes those three words that everyone likes to discuss, but few like to accomplish: "new years resolutions". 

Personally, I don't even call it "resolutions", as I've now referred to my list of stuff to accomplish as "my stuff to accomplish this year". So if and when I miss a few things at the end of December 2014, I won't have any guilt of breaking a resolution... it'll just something that didn't get crossed off my list.

And oh, I have a list. And you should too.

When I worked at Starbucks, especially at night, we had lots of tasks to get done in order to get the store closed and properly cleaned, to be ready to go for the next day's business. Dishes, plating pastries, re-plating pastries, pulling pastries and sandwiches to thaw, cleaning the cafe, filling and stocking the drink case and so on and so forth. I worked at Starbucks for almost 11 years, and in that time, I probably closed hundreds of times... and nearly every time, I made a list of stuff to do.


I would pull out my box cutter, slice off a cardboard flap from a box in the back, and use it to write. It was big, it was thick and large enough to not just get tossed with anything else that looked like trash. It was my list, and people knew that when they worked with me, there would be some cardboard with sharpie all over it, with an extensive list of stuff to do.

So why do I suggest a list for your year? For your quarter? Even for your month? 

Putting it down on paper means something. When you actually write it, it gives your list that little extra something, that little extra bit of meaning. 

So how do you make a list? One that works? Let me give you my suggestions that you may take or leave, for whatever you think its worth...

First... WRITE IT DOWN

And no, I don't mean typing it up online, making it bullet pointed, or using a numbered outline... I mean, grab a notebook, a piece of copy paper, a post it, or, yes, a piece of cardboard, and taking a pencil, and phsycially putting the tip of that writing instrument to your paper of choice, and creating letters, letters that spell words. Make it messy, make it neat... use calligraphy, use bubble letters, use Gaelic print, whatever... but write it down.

Second... MAKE IT SPECIFIC

Don't just write "Clean kitchen". What does that even mean? Clean the sink? Clean the cabinets? Clear out the fridge? Mop the floors?

How about a list that says: "Clean the sink"... "Empty out cabinet"... "Empty out and wipe down fridge"... "Sweep"... what if you have about eight things on your list instead of "clean kitchen"? Why would you do this? Because you want to know when you are done. Crossing off all of your kitchen tasks means you are finished with the kitchen... rather than just wondering when you've done enough to qualify as "kitchen clean".

My Starbucks closing lists would include the people I was working with, and their breaks, so as they had their 10s and their lunches, I could cross it off...

Third... MAKE IT ATTAINABLE

You can make your list of five things, but if two of those things are "cure diabetes" and "split the atom", it may not happen. I'd rather have a list of 48 things that I know, given time, I can do. Also, if your goals include "get closer to God", then how do you define that? Make it attainable... "daily quiet time" or "pray on the way to work after dropping off the kids" or "read a chapter in Mark every week". 

Fourth... GIVE YOURSELF SOME SMALL ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Sometimes when I finally make my list of tasks for a day, or a week or beyond, I end up putting some things on the list that I may have already done, or things that I am going to quickly knock out. This seems a little silly, I know, but it gives me a sense of making some headway.


And I love crossing things off of a good list... I'd rather look at a list of 50 things with 10 crossed out than a list of 10 things with nothing crossed out... it helps me know I'm getting somewhere...

Fifth... HAVE A TIME FRAME

Some lists, like the ones I made for closing a Starbucks store, were for one night. My Great 48 of 2014 is for the entire year, but even so, I have weekly goals for some things, I have "benchmarks" for other tasks, and even small sub lists of things like "Have lunch with people"... I have a list of people I want to make sure I connect with over the next 50 weeks. 

Finally... HAVE FUN WITH YOUR LIST


Don't be all business. Write some stuff down that make your goals fun. On my list for the year? Watch "The Way We Were"... not that that will be fun--on the contrary, I actually dread it, but its one of The Lovely Steph Leann's favorite films, so I have decided to watch it at some point this year. If you have a list of things to do, be it today or this year, put the fun stuff down too. Just because its a to-do doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.  One guy I know has a simple goal on his list: "Ask her out".  Translation?  Winning.

So there it is. You may have an entirely different way of making your lists... or you may not make lists... or you may find my list methods ridiculous. But this is how I do it... and I hope it helps a bit...

(4831 words written... 15,169 to go for January...)

things we found in the garage

Today was a de-clutter day... today was the day we were going to tackle our home, The Cabana... The Lovely Steph Leann went after the kitchen, and I braved the cold weather and took on the garage....

Piled up, this was my Saturday project

Our garage is a small, two car garage that doesn't give a lot of room on either sides of our vehicles once we are both in.  Likewise, there isn't a lot of room in the front or back of our cars once in, and I always grimace in slight terror when I pull in The Lovely Steph  Leann's Honda Accord and park it, as I'm afraid the garage door will land on the trunk, or worse yet, scrape the back end bumper as it goes down to close.

Only happened once, though, I'm proud to say.  Let's move on.

We do have some shelving in our garage, though, holding mostly Christmas stuff in big plastic tubs.  Once metal shelf we bought from The Happiest Place in the Mall (aka, The Disney Store) as it closed its doors, another we bought from Home Depot, and yet another is a plastic get-up that one of us has had for a dozen years or more--though I don't know who actually brought it into our union.  Plus, the garage floor was full of leaves and dirt and grime and paper and grit and all the other things a garage door gets mired with over months of non-sweep.

And as I dug into the boxes and bags and random things piled on the shelves, things stuffed in between the plastic crates of Christmas décor and Rubbermaid tubs filled with limbs from a Christmas Tree we are trying to get ride of, I discovered... well, lots of random... crap.  I mean, some of it is good crap.  But some of it is just crap. 

What kind of crap are we talking about, d$?  Well, let me show you... crap like this...

You know... in case you need Microsoft Office.  From 2003.  With instructions.

I'd love to explain why there is a rubber chicken in our garage.  The truth is, I have no clue.  It is a keychain, probably purchased from Spencer's, cause when you are 20, Spencer's is cool. 

Yes, this is a die-cast, 30 year old General Lee.  I think this was part of a set I got for Christmas in like, 1982 or something, with Boss Hogg's Caddy, Roscoe's police cruiser, Daisy's Jeep and Cooter's tow truck.  And somehow, this one survives. 

At Starbucks, they urge you to try all the coffees, as a barista.  And when you do, you can write it in a little book called a "Coffee Passport".  In my 11 years there, I managed to fill out 4 of them... and this one here was the first.  They haven't produced either one of these coffees in at least 6 years...

What would a garage in the $ home be without a little Disney?  Like, how Mushu, Cogsworth, Heimlich and Dot randomly show up on our shelf?  I knew Heimlich was in there somewhere... had no idea about the other guys. 

My first cellphone!  I went 28 years without needing a phone... and I get married, and *boom*... get a cellphone so The Lovely Steph Leann can call me when needed.  Here's the dirty little secret, though... then, and now, she never checks hers... so she can call me and I'll answer... its much harder to call her.   As for this phone, when we got these Cingular phones, they looked just alike.  So I ended up getting a free name plate to distinguish mine.  I'm not even sure who was driving the 31 Cingular NASCAR racecar at the time...

From the category of "Forgot I even ever had this!", here's my first scarf!  Well... that's not entirely true.  My high school flame, Cindy Howell, who I was friends with in college, knitted me a scarf.  It was about 2 and 1/2 feet long, and barely covered my neck with any real purpose.  I used it when I could, but it barely qualified.  THIS was a real scarf, though... purchased from The Happiest Place in Montgomery Mall in like, 1997 or something... then again, if you remember that mall, there wasn't a lot of happiness anywhere there. You coulda got like, shot or something. 

Finally... here's a towel.  It has the name "CHAD" on it.  Neither one of us know a local Chad.  I know a Chad Ward from high school, but he's never been to any of my homes in Birmingham, and we haven't shared a towel since we had sleepovers in 6th grade.  We both know The Lovely Steph Leann's cousin Chad, but he lives in Pell City, and has never been to our house.  So... we have a towel with the name CHAD on it.  Chad, if you are reading this, and you realize you've been missing a towel, and you recognize this as your own, just send me a note soon, and we'll get this back to you.  Otherwise, its going to be donated.

 

Sharpies.  Lots and lots of Sharpies.  I breed them.  And here's a crop I forgot about... and The Lovely Steph Leann hates them all.

 

 

 

One of my Great 48 Tasks was to go through a load of pictures and get them scanned.  Well, here they are.  Though I'm considering getting a Groupon I just saw that will let some company scan over 500 pics for about $30... with my time as limited as it is, it might be worth it...

 

The Lovely Steph Leann and I honeymooned at Disney, with a few days in the park, and a few days on The Disney Wonder, cruising in the Caribbean.  And this glass is a result of one of her (few) fruity drinks she had.

 

 

So there ya go... some random crap I found in my garage.  Admit it, you found it slightly entertaining...

 
(3876 words down, 16,124 to go, on the road to 20K Words in January)



the great 48... part two

So, I posted the first 27 tasks to accomplish this year, 2014... here are the remaining 21 out of The Great 48... things to do this year:

And in no particular order...

(28) Love more.  Kinda spelled this out in my "finding my pike place" post earlier. 

(29)  Learn how to spell certain words that always screw me up... notably, "occasionally" and "itinerary"  (these words are only spelled right at this point because I used spellcheck).

Did you hear that Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey are gone from American Idol?  Its gone from a decent show back in the day to a guilty pleasure by now, but I think we might (30) take another crack at American Idol this year.  Maybe.

(31) Give grace before its asked of me.  (32) Ask for grace before its required.

This is a big deal for those who know me personally... but I'd like to (33) take a weekend vacation trip this year somewhere besides Walt Disney World.   Yes, I'm d$, and no, no one has taken over my mind.  Just something different.



If the sight of Mickey Waffles doesn't get you excited
about your Disney Vacation, then you're dead inside.

Speaking of Disney... to promote the fact I'm a Disney Travel Planner, I had planned to (34) do a Disney Open House at my home last fall, and was unable to get it together... so this year?  I'd like to do at least two.  And that goes along with my plan to (35) be certified for Universal Parks as well.

Oh, and of course, (36) plan a lot more magic for a lot more people. 

Ah, our home.  The Cabana.  We love our home, yet like many of you who have children, we've let it get away from us here and there.  My fellow blogger and friend Jamie Harper wrote an excellent piece on "simplifying life" and much of it is all about her home.  And in fact, I was emailing The Lovely Steph Leann today about (37) our plans for a clean sweep of our house.

Let's just get rid of stuff. Sure, there is stuff we can sell, and yeah, there is stuff we can donate... but some of it?  Let's just chunk it.  If I don't miss it until I come across it, then I won't miss it when its gone.  Get 'er done.

Two main things to focus on, two main goals, with the first being (38) getting some pictures on our wall... secondly, I really want to (39) get to our garage, and a large part of that are the pictures I have in binders on shelves in our garage.  Not just any pictures, but pics from my childhood, albums I grabbed from back home after my grandmother--the woman who raised me, that is--passed on.  My goal is (40) to scan these pics, then send them to the appropriate family members so that they can do what they will with them... some of these pictures are 30, 40, even 50 years old, so I want to make sure they are preserved with me, and then passed off correctly.

(41) Do something extraordinary.  Like what? I have no idea.  But something. 

(42) Take Campbell to the park on a regular basis.  Not now, of course, but soon, when its warmer.

(43) Pay off the car.  My car.  Red Robin.  We were debt free before we signed the purchasing papers in November of 2011, and we'll be debt free again (aside from the house) as soon as we get it paid.

(44) Hand write some letters to people.  Not just email, or sign my name to a card, but hand write.  Who does that anymore?

(45) Find a few days here and there throughout 2014, and just unplug from everything, especially social media.  This dude had a remarkable 25 day fast from media... not sure I could do that... but maybe a few days? 

My tenth wedding anniversary is this year, in February.  The Lovely Steph Leann, let's (46) do something fun.  Doesn't have to be expensive, but lets make it memorable.  Whaddaya say?

And hey, (47) the podcast is coming back!  We took December off, to retool a bit, step back, reassess and all that... and if you have never heard it, and most of you haven't, its a great chance to jump onboard.  We call it The Movie Picture Show, and its three guys who love and watch movies, and we talk about them.  Sounds boring?  Nah, I think its pretty funny.  www.thedeucecast.com for info.

The Deucecast Studios, home of the Movie Picture Show

And finally... something I've always wanted to do, but just never have...

(48) I'd like to buy lunch for someone in the military.  You know, seeing someone in uniform sitting across a restaurant and tell the server, "I'd like to get theirs, but please don't tell them who.  Just tell them someone said thank you."

So there you go.  I initially said 38 things... but I found 48 things I wanted to make sure that I got done in 2014.  You are welcome to ask me about them and see where I am...

(20K words in January... total of 2,856 words down, 17,144 to go...)

casey's top 40

Alright, we continue our quest to blog every day in July with Day Nine of what I call The July 31... 31 blogs in July.  So, even though its tough, I'm dedicated to making sure that...

...I'm sorry, what...?

...what did you say today was?  The 10th of July...?

...um...

...awkward pause...

Well, crap.

Okay, we continue our quest to blog every other day in July, with Day Nine of what I call The July 31... 31 blogs in July, though with a day in between to give you some time to actually read my brilliant thoughts. 

On with the show.

With two cars in our garage, we take our cars at various times... sometimes we take Red Robin, other times we take hers.  We take mine, and we can listen to SiriusXM radio.  We take hers, and it gives us a little more room, as we have a car seat in the back, though she just has regular, terrestrial radio. 

However, on Sunday mornings, it doesn't matter which car we take... because when driving to Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) on Sunday morning, I always end up turning the station to Magic 96.5.  The reason?  At 9am, the start a reply of American Top 40 with Casey Kasem, from at least 20, many times 30 years ago.

Don't know how long Magic 96.5 has been doing it, but its a total delight to hear it, even if only for the 15 minutes it takes to get to the church from The Cabana.  Its a 4 hour broadcast, so usually we can catch some of the Top Ten as we are headed from church to wherever lunch will be that day. 

And if there is one thing I've truly figured out, its that music from the early 80s... well, it absolutely blew.  It was terrible.  For every great band with great hits like Hall & Oates or Fleetwood Mac, you had a dozen one hit wonders like Marty Balin, Champaign, Tierra or Franke & the Knockouts.  All singing songs that I'd never heard of.

One episode had Rupert Holmes follow up hit to "Escape (the pina colada song)", a little ditty called "Him".  It was terrible.  And the first hit from Tommy Tutone... no, not "867-5309 (Jenny)"... instead it was a snappy little song called "Angel Say No".  And it was terrible. 

Heard this 1982 song from this chick named Patrice Rushen.  Her song was called "Forget Me Nots", but when it came on, I was completely confused, as the beginning sounded just like a Will Smith hit, that being the title track from "Men in Black".  Seems that Will Smith sampled "Forget Me Nots" for "Men in Black.'

Mind.

Blown.

Anyway, something I couldn't help but notice was that music in 1982 is a lot like today... a few gems surrounded by a whole lot of crap.  Like I said, back then, Hall & Oates, The Eagles, Eddie Money, even Olivia Newton John, was still making great music.  And a whole lot of stuff around it not only sucked, but was completely forgettable.  I mean, I pride myself on knowing a lot about music and musical randomness from the 70s, 80s and 90s, but I have never heard of Charlie Dore and "Pilot of the Airwaves", or "Tired of Toeing the Line" by Rocky Burnett, and though I've heard of Boz Scaggs, what is "Jojo"?  And The Alan Parsons Projects had more hits that "Eye in the Sky", and they both managed to stink?

And today?  You've got great artists like Adele, Usher and maybe even Bruno Mars and Katy Perry, artists that we'll probably remember in 2041 while listening to Ryan Seacrest's Top 40 flashbacks on Sunday mornings.  But surrounding them, you've got forgettable sound-alike artists like Lupe Fiasco?  Rick Ross?  What the crap is a Wiz Kalifia?   And the fact that Ke$ha had not 1, but TWO songs in 2011's Top 100 of the year... oy vay. 

Sorry.  Didn't mean to diatribe... but I still believe that 1990 to 1995 was the Greatest. Era. of Music.  Ever.  One of these days I'll defend that position, until them just assume I'm right.

Be My, Be My Baby (be my little baby...)

So I wanted to use a song with the word "Baby" in the title, and thought The Ronettes classic was as good as any.  I considered Amy Grant's "Baby Baby" and even TLC's "Baby Baby Baby", but "Be My Baby" is better.

And for those of you thinking, "Oh geez, another list he isn't going to finish...", speaking of The 100 Greatest Songs of the 2000s, never fear, my dear my dear, as I have finished it.  I've written the entire thing, and was going to finish my links, pics and videos on it, and give it a few tweaks when...

343p
"Hey," I answered the phone when it rang.
"Uh..." came the other voice, belonging to The Lovely Steph Leann, "So, my doctors appointment was today, right...?"
"Yeah.  Did you miss it or something?"
"No, I'm still here.  As a matter of fact, the doctor told me that I can't go home.  They are wheeling me down to Labor and Delivery."
"What?!  Like, right now?"
"Yup.  Like, right now, I'm in a wheelchair, and I'm being taken downstairs.  The baby comes tonight or tomorrow."

Looking at my calendar, I notice that its Wednesday, November 30th, NOT Saturday, December 17th... as in, our due date was 12/17, not 11/30.  Or even 12/1.  So, Fiddy Cent is something like two and a half weeks early.

"So, do I need to come down there now?  What do I do?"
"Well, wait until I get settled in Labor and Delivery.  I'll call you back and tell you if I'm for sure staying, or they are sending me home."

402p and 14 seconds to 402p and 17 seconds
Here are my complete thoughts.

Like holy cow the nursery isnt ready did you see john and ashley wolf's nursery for evalie it was like done two months before she even showed up and we still have a futon couch in our nursery that has to be moved but it cant be moved yet because of all the stuff in the hallway to be sorted through donated recycled and thrown out and we still dont have all of our stuff yet i mean we bought a stroller last night but its still in the back of stephs car unassembled with the car seat so we dont even have a stinking car seat in workable use just yet and apparently we have to have a base for it to go in our car and it has to be installed to be safe what is up with that but it doesnt matter because we dont have it even put together much less installed and survivor is on tonight guess i will miss it though its getting good and we are supposed to get a baby monitor from a family that pledged to buy us one but they haven't bought it yet so do we go ahead and buy it or wait it out because i think it would be rude to say something to them but we kinda need to know and craig campbell what the heck is the bernie dance never heard of it and holy crap my wife might be having a baby right now she is having a baby soon but what if its right now do i want a boy boys are smelly and stinky but drama free for the most part or do i want a girl girls are full of drama and gossip but they smell like lavender and are much more likely to enjoy watching meet me in st louis with her daddy and what if our kid doesnt like disney stuff i mean we can force it on him her whoever but that doesnt mean they will be genetically inclined to like it and i dont even have a tree up yet and there are still like four bouncy seat play pen things up in the uncompleted nursery that aren't even put together yet and did you know there are like nineteen different kinds of bottle nipples that word makes me giggle because im a boy and stephanie is having a baby holy cow we aren't even ready for this...

445p
I start making a mad dash around the house, preparing an overnight bag, not sure what to take and what not to take.  Do I take some of the kids clothes?  I want my first pics of this kid to be in something cool, like the Rocky Balboa onesie I bought for Campbell Isaiah, or the pink princessy job I got for Lorelei Addison, not some drab hospital issued whatever.  What do I take for myself?  Am I coming back?  Will I be able to?

505p
Phone rings.  Its The Lovely Steph Leann.  And the orders are simply, "Come on down.  Dr. Babysnatcher will be in the room in a little while for an update.  I'd like to have you with me."  Yes ma'am!  So, I toss a few more things into the back, including toothbrushes and pastes and clothes and so on and so forth, and shoot out the door.

Now, before I go calling anyone and everyone, I want to make sure this isn't a false alarm or anything.  Don't want Melanie giving away all my own hours at work only to find out Saturday that, yes, I need those hours back, whoops.

552p
In Room 8 of Labor and Delivery.  The Lovely Steph Leann is in the bed next to me, IV in her arm, shooting up magnesium like a boss, and Dr. Babysnatcher comes in.  And yes, this baby is coming tonight.  Or tomorrow.  Probably tomorrow.  But possibly tonight.  Holy crap.

554p
I do get in touch with a few people, including my manager (and best friend) Melanie.  Within a few minutes, she replies back that she's got my shifts covered at work already.  And this is why she rules.  Well, that, and she's gorgeous.  That helps.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, the baby...

631p
The plans are made.  I am going to go out again, get my own self some dinner, come back to The Cabana and get some stuff that I forgot to get for her, then go get her some dinner.  Her mom will come and stay the night with her, and I'll get a few hours of sleep and be back early tomorrow morning (yes, thats in about five hours, sue me)

723p
Finally actually leaving the hospital

741p
Walking around The Cabana, gathering necessary supplies, thinking to myself, "Wow.  So, this will be the last evening I'll spend here without a kid down the hall."  I fail to give myself the reproachful look that she gave me when I told this to her.

821p
Sitting at Chick-fila, eating a chicken sandwich, observing that I'll make it back to the hospital by 9, which is important, because some of the main doors at the Women's Center are locked at 9p, and you have to use a different entrance and a separate parking area.  This is good.

825p
Get a call from Mama Ruthless, the mom-in-law and soon to be grandmother for the 3rd time.  I gotta go pick her up and take her to the hospital.  This kills my 9p plan.  Sighing, I agree, and go back to eating my sandwich.

841p
Arrive at the In-Laws house.  See Mama Ruthless, thinking there's an outside shot we might make it still.

853p
Seeing her get into the vehicle, and realizing that there's no shot that we might make that 9pm cutoff

912p
Pull up at Brookwood After Hours entrance.  Drop off, unload, then go find the parking deck that I can get into

914p
Figure out that the doors that were supposed to be locked are not locked, and I freely move through the sidewalks and corridors.  Whoops

944p
Leave The Lovely Steph Leann with her mom and head home, thinking about all the crap that we really haven't done.  Heck, we got our stroller last night, and until a few minutes later, it was still in the back of Steph's car.

127a
So, I've made a run to Wal-Mart, and then spent the better part of three hours now cleaning up the house, washing baby clothes and assembling a stroller and car seat.  And I'm really, really tired.

So, I'l end this here... I did install a new app on the phone for Blogger, so I'm hoping to be able to update during the day to the website.

Do you want to know if its a boy or girl?  Well, a few special people will know first--Melanie... Wookiee... Mikey... a select few more.  Otherwise, check this site tomorrow... you'll read it here first.

And if you think I'm using the occasion of my child's birth to actually drive traffic to my website... well... you might be right.  So there.

Its Gettin' Hot in Herre

The Summer of Blogging Day Three

So, on Wednesdays, I typically work from really, really early in the morning to mid-afternoon, and when I come home, I immediately sit down at the computer and start writing up a rundown and show notes for The Deucecast...

The Deucecast is our podcast, and by "our" I mean my buddy Mikey and Matty, Tommy Mac and Shawn.  We've also had Hurricane Rhett in studio, JustFish to promote his new book and The Good Doctor Earl... and so, today, like every Wednesday, I began typing up what would be our 9th episode, "At Podcast's End". 

Two hours later, I was satisfied with what we had, having already emailed Mikey and Matty the details, gotten some feedback from them on a few changes and had a finished couple of documents.  Glancing at the clock, its a little past five, so its time to finally get upstairs, change out of my coffee makin' gear and put on my not workin' gear and head out for a meeting at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship).

I walk up the steps, not paying much attention to anything, and about six steps in, I notice something drastically different.  Its hot.  Like, its really, really hot.  Like a wall of heat I just stepped through, or ascended into, it was horrible. 

The Cabana sports two AC units, one for upstairs and one for downstairs, and the thermostat for the top floor is at the top of the steps... it reads a nice, breezy 85 degrees.  Like someone who opens the hood an jiggles a wire when their car won't start, then expecting it to just fire right up, I push a few buttons expecting the air to kick right on... aaaaaand... it doesn't.  The thermostat is set on 74, the temp just rose to 86.

And I'm already sweating.

Long story short, some very dear friends of ours recommended someone they knew and used for their AC work--I wont say who the friends were nor who they recommended, not because I dont want to talk about them, but because I don't know if they's appreciate me telling the world who "their guy" is.  But... our friends are rock stars and awesome, and The AC Guy is turning out to be quite a find himself. 

My father in law, Big Daddy Ron, and Bro in Law Tyler stopped by first to look at the issue--Big Daddy Ron has built a few homes pretty much by hand, so I trust his judgement.  However, there wasn't much he could do but try a diagnosis.

When The AC Guy arrived, who by the way was a rock star for even coming to our home at 8pm at night, he did a deeper diagnosis... turns out Big Daddy Ron wasn't too far off base, and myself and The AC Guy found the real problem...

There was water dripping from too much condensation, cause it to fill up the drip overflow pan, which shut the AC unit off for safety issues.  Thankfully, the motor is still in good shape, the compressor still works and it seems to be a little cloggy drainage issue... we hope.  We hope.

Apparently, some of the parts and labor is under warranty still... but it looks like our issue is not.  The important part is, its cooling off right now.  I went upstairs a few minutes ago, and it the temperature is around 79 or so, which is considerably better than where it had gotten.

The joys of being a homeowner.  Can't wait til we need a plumber.

The Rock Rocks (and other thoughts)

What a glorious day here at The Cabana.  Its my day off, so I was able to sleep until around 10ish this morning, after staying up until 1am watching almost 3 hours of American Idol and another hour of Survivor: Redemption Island, and sometimes when you sleep late, and you do that groggy, wobbly stumble to the toilet for your morning relief, then that shower that comes after is just wonderful.  Got out, had me a quick lunch, then set about the task of finishing the laundry that had been piled up for five days now... well, heck, we were gone for twelve days, so everything we owned was dirty.

Now, I'm just sitting on the couch, chilling out, relaxing all cool, you know, shooting some b'ball outside of the school... okay, thats not true.  Thats too much excercise.  It is a beautiful day outside, and some may criticize me for not being in it... but what would I do?  Run?  Go stand on the corner, inhale the fresh Birmingham/Hoover air and mutter out loud, "Wow, what a pretty day!"?  Nah, I just like it here in The Cabana, all the windows open, the bright sunshine pouring in, and a bad Steven Seagal movie playing on the TV, on a channel with no HD, making it fuzzy, which probably makes it more enjoyable.

I guess "Bad Steven Seagal Movie" is itself an oxymoron.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

So, The Rock, who I have a total mancrush on, is back in the WWE.  It was a glorious return on this past Monday Night Raw, and I watched the twenty minutes or so he was on about three times.  He was in fine form, shouting out things like, "Layeth the smacketh down on your candy a#(@*" and "Know your role and shut your mouth!" and "All you jabronis..."  It made me giggle.  He rules.  He... well, Rocks.



And of course, the big news is, he'll be "hosting" Wrestlemania XXVII, this time in Atlanta, Georgia, on April 2nd.  Myself and my best mate Wookiee had been discussing going anyway, and we were tossing back and forth about a third like Danny Ocean talking to Rusty in "Ocean's Eleven"... "We need one more?  You think we need one more?  Okay, we'll get one more..."

So enter Big Tom Johnson, another former Deucemate.  The discussion of whether we go to Wrestlemania XXVII shifted to overdrive when I found out that The Rock will be there, and a major part of it.  Toss in the possibility that Kevin "Diesel"/"Big Daddy Kool" Nash may be there, as well as Booker T, and even the outside shot that WCW'er Sting might show up--highly unlikely, but then again, so was The Rock's return to regular WWE appearances... anyway, add all that in, and the discussion went from "are we going?" to "how fast can we get tickets?" 

A visit to StubHub (stuuuuubhub!) today got us some tickets.  Granted, we are in the upper upper deck, and granted we'll be about 10 rows from the top of the Georgia Dome, and granted everyone, Diesel, The Rock and The Big Show included, will look about an inch tall from our seats, but WE WILL BE AT WRESTLEMANIA.  If you could get Super Bowl tickets, you'd take 'em, no matter where you were sitting.  And at about $67 bucks a pop, you just want to say you were there.  April 2nd, we will be.  I rule.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Speaking of The Rock, I just, in the middle of writing this blog post, left The Cabana, drove over to the ghetto and paid a buck at the dollar theater to see The Rock's latest film, "Faster".  To say that "Faster" is a bad film is understating the words "Bad Film".  This movie is flat out terrible.

The Rock plays a character only known as Driver, and that's not his name, that's apparently his role in a bank heist that ended up putting him in prison for ten years.  He and his brother Gary were set up, Gary was murdered, and The Rock, er, Driver, is out to avenge his brother's murder, one by one.  That's really all you need to know, because the plot doesn't get much deeper than that.

This picture in the corner of the screen would
have been better viewing the actual movie. 
Just sayin'.

Oh, well there is some nonsense about a double cross, and a plot twist that I saw coming about thirty minutes into the film, there's Mr. Eko from LOST, there's Carla Gugino looking extremely Carla Guginoey, there's Billy Bob Thornton mailing it in and wearing a horrible hairpiece, and finally, I'd like to put forth a theory that any movie can be made better by inserting Maggie Grace in there somewhere.  She's in this film, and thought I'm not sure why, it helped the scenery a hundred percent. 

Matter of fact, I think that if you know your film is going to be a piece of crap--and I assure you that somewhere in production, the producers looked at each other and said something like "Wow, The Rock or no The Rock, this movie is going blow chunks"--you as a filmmaker have a responsiblity, NAY, a duty to the moviegoing public, at least the male ticket buyers,  to just put a pic of Maggie Grace in her LOST bikini in the corner and leave it there, so we'll have something to occupy our time while the horrible film goes on. 

Let's be real here.  I only saw this because as a guy with a mancrush on The Rock, I try and support his films.  Take out The Rock and insert Jason Statham or Vin Diesel, and I save my money.  However, I can say that I have no problem giving The Rock my buck.   Cause, The Rock rocks. 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

One thing I have to keep reminding myself is... this blog is taking off.  Seriously.  Randomly, I look over and another person has become a "follower", or has left a comment making me say, "Who the heck is this?"  Anyway, got some propz from a reader named Nutsy--no knowledge as to whether thats a cute nickname her hubby gave her or a statement on her mental awareness--who looks like she's from the Northeast.  She added me to her own blogroll, so I felt compelled to do the same... her website is called "Miss Gracie: New Adventures on an Old Boat", and its worth a look.  She seems to be like me... she just writes whatever strikes her fancy, and hopes that someone finds it worth a look. 

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Wanted to mention another site too, started by a friend of mine, Scotty Latta and a buddy of his... its called "Joust", and its a brilliant idea, really.  The tagline is "Pick Your Battles", and essentially, it lets you compete against other people in contests ranging from sports games to The Bachelor.  I personally don't watch the latter, but I am already signed up for American Idol's league, which will come into play when the Top 24 is revealed.  There is no money involved, there's very little gambling terminology tossed around (parlays and over/unders and such), its just picking your battles.  Find it Joust at JoustNow dot com, or just click here.

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I'm flipping channels and stumbling upon a gem.  "School Ties".  Have you ever actually seen this movie?  Its from 1992, and stars Brendan Fraser as David Greene, a teenager in 1955 Pennsylvania, who gets a scholarship to a hoity toity prep school in Massachusetts, St. Matthews.  Problem is, David Greene is Jewish, and St. Matthews is Protestant, so the whole film is all about prejudice and stereotypes... 



Here's Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Chris O'Donnell, along
with Randall Batinkoff, who went from starring in this hit
to... nothing. 



So David Greene is on the football team, the star QB, the reason he was brought to the school, and everyone is cool with him, he becomes popular, gets him a chick on the swim team (Amy Locane, before the vehicular manslaughter) at a nearby chick prep school, and it seems like everything is awesome... until his secret is discovered.   Then everyone turns on him, including implicating him in a big cheating scandal. 

Appearing in this film are young versions of Ben Affleck (playing a guy named Chesty!) and Chris O'Donnell (before Robin) and Anthony Rapp (before "Rent") and Matt Damon (before anything), and its so bad its awesome.  Not sure why they decided a shower fight scene between Fraser and Damon was a good idea (its PG-13, don't worry) but it just adds to the ridiculousness of "School Ties".

If you come across this film close to the beginning, watch it, enjoy it and dig it.  Didn't even need Maggie Grace in the corner (course she was nine at the time...ew...) but toss The Rock in there and you go from ridiculously awesome to ridiculously awesomer. 

Cause The Rock... well, rocks.

The Productive Kicks (and other dangers of homeownership)

Coming to you live and direct from Starbucks on Hwy 280 & Hwy 119... because?  Because my modem, the one we paid for when we first got AT&T DSL service, decided, "Eh, bunk this.  I'm done."  And now we have nothing but a little green flashing light that is barely flashing green.  Naturally, because this is how it always works, its out of warranty, so we have to pay a cost to have it replaced.  Not only is it $40, which I guess for a modem isn't bad, but we also have to pay $14.95 shipping for 3-5 days ground service.  This, my fellow readers, is what is known in common circles as "a racket". 

This is not the actual offending modem, but one like it, so
you get the idea.

If you've ever seen this kind of modem, its about the size of an index card, about as thick as two stacked iPhones, and weighs less than a roll of quarters.  I actually told the lady, "Seriously, $14.95?  Can you not just shove it into a padded envelope and mail it for like, $6 or something?"  Of course she said she could do no such thing, and so, no modem until next Wednesday... hopefully, its next Wednesday because... next Wednesday?  That's right...

THAT

IS

AMERICAN IDOL

For what its worth, I've already asked The Lovely Steph Leann if she is in for Idol, and she says she is.  So I guess I am to.  I think we've already discussed this in a previous post, so we'll get to Idol next week.

So, our toilet is jacked up too.  Upstairs in our master bathroom.  The darn thing has been leaking water down the pipes for two months, and in typical d$-N-The Lovely Steph Leann fashion, we finally got around to doing something about it... well, sort of.  I bought a $10 part at Wal-Mart and figured I would just replace the whole mechanism in the tank.  Easy enough, right?  On the box, it says in bright, bold letters, "EASY TO INSTALL!" and when you flip the box over, it goes even further by saying "INSTALLS IN MINUTES!!"

Not many words are more false than "EASY TO INSTALL" and "INSTALLS IN MINUTES" aside from something like "OBAMA CARES FOR YOU", but hey, I am a homeowner.  This is what homeowners do, right?  They fix their own small problems.  So I bought the part... and that was Phase I.  The part sat in our master bathroom for about, I dunno, two months, collecting dust in the unopened box until I got the gumption for Phase II. 

Phase II always comes in when I get my "productive kicks".  This constitutes an afternoon, or an evening, sometimes even a whole day, when my whole mindset is focused on getting things done that should have been done long, long ago.  Sometimes, I'll pull apart and put back together, reorganized, entire rooms of the house... I'll sort through CDs and books and shed myself of unused or unwanted items... I'll clean the entire kitchen, getting all dishes from around the house into the dishwasher, and if said kick lasts long enough, I'll get them out and put them away, all so The Lovely Steph Leann can come home to a dirty-dish-free environment. 

I have to be careful, though... sometimes I'll get knee deep into a project and then fall out of my productive binge just as easily as I got into it.  And thats dangerous, because if I've got a mess around me, with intentions of reorganizing, sorting or disposing, and suddenly I lose all ambition, then I've got to put everything back, and it all goes back haphazardly and usually with no sort of sense.

Last week, I got into a Productive Kick. 

Okay, I know this started with the toilet, and now I'm going to talk about baseboards, but I promise you, we'll tie this into toilets, so bare with me, okay?

When we moved into The Cabana, we had plans for the upstairs.  The whole house had been painted with a drab, generic taupe color (The Lovely Steph Leann will read this and correct me, I'm sure, but it was a basic greyish, brownish, whitish, blahish color) and we wanted to paint each room of the house at some point.  Before we even moved in, our brother in law Randy painted our bedroom, which still looks great almost three years later. 

The middle bedroom was to be a guest room, but we were going to keep some books in there, our CDs, a desk, and a futon we purchased for guests to sleep on.  Eventually, when Campbell Isaiah and/or Lorelei Addison make their appearance, that room will become a nursery.  And The Lovely Steph Leann had plans for that back bedroom... it was to become her Creative Memories crop room

SIDEBAR... The Lovely Steph Leann is an extremely talented photograph rescue specialist, as well as a memory sustainer operationalist.  That's fancy words for saying she is a Creative Memories consultant, which means she deals in scrapbooking--wait, wait, don't go away... scrapbooking is far and beyond pasting pictures into a book with little pieces of construction paper... it, like the rest of the free world, has gone digital.  So not only can she help you salvage all those pictures and precious memories you have lying in a box in a drawer by converting them to digital, she has also started a service where she takes your pictures, thusly taking the work off of your hands, and will make books for you.  Imagine a yearbook, full color, except every picture has one of your memories, your family members, your friends, your kids, et al in it (instead Brandy, the head cheerleader and not so coincindentally the yearbook editor which explains why she is on 14 different pages out of a 50 page book)... anyway, her site is here, but you can also find me and ask for her info for a price quote and such.  She's awesome.

So, the back room was/is going to be her crop room.  She went to IKEA with her cousin, spent way too much money there--its like, when you walk up to the doors, they ask you how much you expect to spend, and when you tell them, they add 35% and tell you that is the new number you will spend... and they are right.

She came back from IKEA with a bunch of home items, including a desk that will be assembled for her crop room.  Now, in the corner of that room is a large "bonus room"... when we moved in, it was nothing but rafters, studs and insulation, but we paid them an extra $50 to pipe a vent in that area, and Big Daddy Ron came over and we (and by we, I mean he) put up sheetrock, put a door and door frame to block off the heating unit, added a ceiling and covered up the rafters and had it painted. 

After the room was finished, we had it carpeted and then I painted baseboards, to which we (and by we, I mean he) installed them in the bonus room. 

Its important to note, however, that from the time we had the room finished to the time that the baseboards were installed should have taken about a month.  Maybe two.  Four if we are really lazy.  It actually took about two years.  Cause we just never got around to doing it.  The baseboards actually sat in our living room floor, stretching into the kitchen, for about a month or so, because I just never got around to getting them into the garage and painting them... trust me, The Lovely Steph Leann was on me just about every day for it, as well she should have been.

Alright, so we got them painted, got them installed, and they needed to be touched up.  When the touch up occurs, then we can put that desk together, and then that room, which is still filled with boxes and stuff--no other way to describe it than "stuff"--will be on the road to being completed.

Now, back to the toilet... well, not quite, but we're getting there.  After about two months, I finally decided it was time to not only get the toilet fixed, but also get those baseboards touched up.  With The Lovely Steph Leann downstairs watching HGTV (for some reason, she's been obsessed with HGTV... really, most of the shows on that channel could be called "Renovations You'll Never Do On Houses You'll Never Afford... So Come and See the New Deck, Loser") I went to the laundry room, pulled down the two cans of paint that were previously used to do the baseboards--each can looks exactly alike, so its the same paint, right?--and then disappeared into the back bedroom, and on into the bonus room.  I had purchased a paint brush and some painters tape a few months back, and now that I think about it, probably at the same time I purchased the toilet unit, and so I went to work.

I laid old sheets carefully down on the carpet, the new carpet which still smelled like just that, and still had that springy step of not being used much, and then used the wide blue painters tape to tape off the wall and the carpet.  About four or five inches out on the carpet, about three inches up the wall, all the way around, the ten feet of one wall, the foot or so on each side of the door, then another twelve or thirteen feet on the long wall, then the side wall for another five feet, then back around the closet door again. 

I shook the can briskly, hearing the slosh of paint inside, and was so happy.  This was going to be quick and painless, I'd knock this out in about twenty minutes, and since my Productive Kicks usually last a few hours, who knows what I could get done, right?  Right!

(play cool working music) With a screw driver, I pulled the cap off, then used a plastic piece of a broken clothes hanger to stir the can up.  And then, I dipped the small brush in and began to paint the boards.  Left, right, left, right, dip.  Left, left, right right, dip.  Left, right, left, rig (cue screeching sound of record needle being ripped off of an LP).  I stared at the baseboard.  The baseboard all the way around the wall was a creamy, dark white color.  The color that I had now splashed on about 14 inches of this baseboard was a lighter white.  And very noticable.  I looked at the can, and inside the can, then looked at the other can.  Just alike.  I opened up the other can, and saw that the other color was darker.  Creamier.  Kind of a... well, a creamy, dark white color. 

Now, one could assume that this 2nd color is the right one, that I should immediately begin to use this other color to cover up the white that I've descrated the baseboard with... but, as with many things in the past, I figured it was time to ask the boss.  This ruined my plan of being able to come downstairs and say, "Hey, dear, guess what, the baseboards are all done!  Let's put that desk together!"  Instead, I came downstairs and softly said, "Hey... uh... what color are the baseboards upstairs, in the back closet room?"  She looked up and thought for a minute, "Um... I think its... Signature Creamy, I believe."  Then she eyed me.  "Are you... doing the baseboards?"  I nodded, and she smiled, "Thanks!" and then went back to the HGTV show she was involved in.  So much for surprise.

Back upstairs, I looked at both cans.  One said "Signature Creamy", in tiny letters on a small sticker that I didn't see.  One said something else.  And, because I've used 3,000 words telling this story, you can guess which color was on the baseboards and which color should have been.  So, I used the new color, and really, got the boards done in about twenty minutes.  Mostly, it was just covering up the nails and screws that had been used to put the baseboards in place, and it was done.

Okay, to the toilets... Well, we don't want to let a Productive Kick go to waste, so I immediately head to our bathroom.  I grab the box, which had somehow made it way into our closet and was leaning up against our laundry basket, and take it into the bathroom.  I pull down some unused, old towels and spread them out on the floor around the toilet bowl, and then flush the water out of the toilet, turning the water off before it could fill up again.  I take the top off of the tank and set it carefully aside, and then use old towels to sponge up the remaining few inches of water in the tank.  Need it dry for my toilet transplant, which really should take, what, twenty minutes again?  Maybe thirty?  Thats one hour of a Productive Kick, and who knows what else I could get done?  Scour the garage?  Scrub down our porch?  Build a deck?  Yeah!  I'm rolling!

I open the box and pull the piece out.  And those words "EASY TO INSTALL" and "INSTALLS IN MINUTES!" are atop the instructions, and as I scan the diagram, it doesn't seem that hard, right?  Right.  I pull out the comparable piece in the tank, and am all set to put in the new piece... this is going to be great!  I mean, painted baseboards, get the toilet to work, The Lovely Steph Leann is going to fall into the arms of her wonderful handy man and all will be right with the world, right?  Right!

Wrong!

Yeah, there's a piece that won't come out of the bottom of the tank.  After banging it a few times, trying my best to unscrew it with several forms of plier apparatuses, pushing and pulling with my own bare fingers, I gave up.  My Productive Kick was fading, and really, I just wanted to go get some tacos. 

Well, a week later, our toilet still doesn't work.  We got Big Daddy Ron involved, and he had a hard time with it too.  As he tried to remove the piece I couldn't get out, he asked me if I had a crescent wrench.  I laughed and said, "Uh... no."

"Man, you gotta get some tools," he replied.
"Dude, if I can't fix it with a regular pair of pliers, a screw driver or duct tape, then I can't fix it and a set of a dozen crescent wrenches isn't going to help me in the least..."  I replied back.

We (and by we, I mean he) concluded it was a faulty seal, one that is in the other piece that I didn't try to replace nor bought a part for, and he got it from Home Depot later.  With the seal replaced, the water still leaked.  And it leaks now. 

Luckily, we have a bathroom down the hall which The Lovely Steph Leann and I are using.  Its not as comfortable, but it will do. 

I guess this falls under "The Problems of the Blessed", cause we have two more working bathrooms, the money to call a plumber (we just want to avoid it if at all possible), baseboards that are done in a room that will be a large closet that will be full of stuff we really should get rid of, and The Lovely Steph Leann still loves me no matter what color I paint wrong, nor how I mess up while repairing the toilet. 

Its just inconvenient, ya know?  Such is life.  I'll just sit back and wait for another Productive Kick and maybe I'll just build a new house.

What's the Story, Morning Glory?

"UPDATE"
Mom is alive.  Not well, not kicking, not healthy, but alive.  Thanks for praying and thinking of her and our family. 

"ITS ALL IN THE WRIST"
I was watching the end of the 13th ranked movie on The Dave100, and was about to watch "The Bounty Hunter" with Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston when I looked over to see The Lovely Steph Leann cuddled up in her pink Snuggie.  She's got her eyes closed, earbuds in, trying to desperately finish an audiobook that she checked out online and is due to expire at midnight tonight.

The Lovely Steph Leann, catching a few
winks in the evening

She doesn't like it when I turn on movies she hasn't seen, and wants too, so I hit the DVR button on "The Bounty Hunter" to watch it later, even though I've heard its a dreadful film.  I'm also DVR'ing "The Book of Eli", a great film I did see early this year, and am excited about seeing again later. 

So, to pass the time while I write a little on a late Saturday night, I turned it on The Speed Channel, for a classic episode of "Pimp My Ride"... and here's my thoughts for the night...

So, I've noted the fact that I seldom, if ever, actually get sick.  I wake up with a slightly sore throat or not feeling all that well, and by noon, I'm just right as rain.  Maybe I have a sniffle here and there, but overall, I'm cool.  Sometimes, however, I do pass it on to The Lovely Steph Leann--I can't be selfish and take all the infection, so I want to share.

Getting hurt, however, is another story.  Back in May of 2009, I told the story of the infected finger and the attack that my eyes waged on my body, then earlier this year, my left eye attacked me, and who can forget the coffee inferno that erupted on my foot? 

Now?  I'm in a splint.

About a week or so ago, I was working on our order that had just come into the store.  It had been piled up quite high, but several of us were working hard on getting it organized, dispersed and off of the cafe floor--I had only a few boxes left, and was trying to help Melanie Z from dealing with it later. 

I lifted a box of coffee, a box of oatmeal and some frap roast mix, and as I turned around to my left to take a step, I didn't see the two boxes of apple juice that lay motionless on the floor.  My shins hit the boxes, and I lost complete control.  The coffee, the oatmeal and the frap roast mix flew through the air, landed on the tile with a skid and slid across the floor.  I followed very closely behind, hitting the ground hard, landing on my left knee and my left hand/wrist.

A few customers came over and helped me up, made sure I was okay, I told them I was.  I shook it off, laughed a little, thanked them for their help.  I made my way to the back room, where as soon as I turned the corner out of sight, I slumped to the floor, holding my knee close to my chest, fighting a scream of pain.  A single tear trickled down my cheek.

One of my co-workers, Vee, walked back and saw me, and simply said, "Wow.  You're not alright."  I laughed through the tear, saying, "I'm sure I'll be fine.  Just give me a minute."  My knee hurt so, so bad.  So, for the next several days, I walked with a slight limp as my knee, bruised and and battered, began to heal itself.  Stairs were horrible, but over the last week, I think its going away.

However comma

...I did notice that my left wrist was not feeling as great.  In fact, it kinda had a little pain to it, depending on which way I turned it.  By mid-week, my wrist and hand just hurt when I worked, and by Friday morning, turning a door knob, pushing down the white mocha pump or picking up a gallon of milk with that hand made it hurt like crazy.   Off to see Dr. Vance on Friday afternoon, and he poked and prodded a little, got an X-ray and made sure it wasn't gangrenous, or riddled with AIDS or anything of that sort.  Nope, just a sprain on the wrist, one that will...

...one that will...

...one... will.... that.... wi...

...

...so, as I typed those previous words, I fell asleep.  Like, zonked out.  It was only for a brief few seconds, but it was long enough for my hand on my mouse to slip, the mouse to crash onto the keyboard, and The Lovely Steph Leann to wake up and stare at me.  I decided it was time for bed, so between the words "one that will" and right now, I've slept 8 hours, I've gone to church, I've had lunch with Hurricane Rhett, Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone), JustFish and his wife Kelly Kelly at Ruby Tuesdays, I've gone by the cigar shop to buy a gift card for my brother-in-law for Christmas, I've watched The Lovely Steph Leann pass out on the couch again, I've talked to Melanie Z on the phone about tomorrow at work, and I've listened to half of Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" album. 

Where was I?

Oh yeah, my wrist.  It'll heal.  In about a week or so. 

The whole point of that entire story was that now I have a splint on my left wrist.  I told Melanie Z a few minutes ago, "Ya know, I don't get sick.  I just get hurt."  And get old. 

"NEED YOU NOW"
Speaking of Lady Antebellum, is there a better country song out right now than "Need You Now"?  I mean, this song has everything--being drunk, being desperate, being broken hearted and hurt, and a hot chick singing half the song.  I'll be honest with ya, for the first few times I heard it, the opening keys on the piano makes it sound a little like "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe, but there are few songs that are farther apart in subject than "I Can Only Imagine" and "Need You Now". 

Was watching some video clip show on CMT, and this song came up, and Darius Rucker put it perfectly... "The song is beautiful... but when you listen to it, it's about nothing more than a booty call.  A late, desperate, drunk booty call.  But they sing it beautifully."

"MORNING GLORY"
I feel so behind when it comes to movies... I did a count today at church, while a slow song was being sung during the choir concert, and I and/or we have seen about 33 movies at the theater this year, and another three that were 2010 movies I and/or we have seen on DVR, premium cable, NetFlix or OnDemand pay-per-view.

And I'm so, so behind on movie reviews... but here's one for ya.  

"Morning Glory" tells the tale of Becky Fuller, played by the getting-better-and-hotter-as-time-goes-on Rachel McAdams... she's no Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, but she's still great.  Anyway, Becky is a ambitious news producer that, due to layoffs, is forced to take a job with a very low key, struggling network, and is hired to take over their terrible morning show.  Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton) is the longtime co-anchor, and is aghast when to complete the morning show team, Becky coerces/forces an old curmudgeon of a newsman, Mike Pomeroy, played by Harrison Ford--we'll get to him in a minute.

Obligatory picture of my Hollywood
girlfriend

Of course, nothing works out perfectly, so we watch Mike Pomeroy and Colleen Peck not get along, Becky have a meltdown over nothing working, and her love interest, played by Patrick Wilson, try to pursue a woman who is giving 110% to her career and nothing to her own life.

This movie works on two levels... first, Rachel McAdams wins in just about anything she is in.  To me, you recast "Mean Girls" with someone besides Lindsay Lohan, and it still works.  But take out Rachel McAdams' Rachel, and it loses something.  She wins in "Wedding Crashers", she shines in "The Notebook" and even makes "Red Eye" bearable, so when Rachel McAdams is in something, it automatically makes me thing that this might be a pretty good movie. 

Secondly, I don't know what happened to Harrison Ford, but he looks like he's been chewing on an onion for ten years now.  The man IS Indiana Jones and IS Han Solo, two of the most awesome icons in movie history, not to mention he was in four non-Star Wars or Indy related films, in The Dave100, that being "Air Force One" (46th), "Witness" (34th), "The Fugitive" (25th) and "American Graffiti" (15th). 

Harrison.  Smile once in a while.  Seriously. 

Anyway, back to "Morning Glory", this role is perfect for him.  Mike Pomeroy is bitter, is angry, feels like his lot in life sucks, and even though he was very successful back in the day, he fees like this new spot for him on the morning show is beneath him.  Ford trudges through the film with grunts and growls and scowls, and if you didn't know any better, he might have just as much contempt for being in this movie as his character does for being on the show in question.

"Morning Glory" is fun and simple, it doesn't try to hard, and you genuninely like and root for Becky Fuller, and can even empathize with her when she and Mike do the inevitable sit down, where they have the "don't work so hard or you will end up like me" conversation.  The movie is practically out of theaters at this point, so catch it as a rental. 

"UNSTOPPABLE"
Another movie we saw recently was "Unstoppable", starring Chris Pine (Star Trek) and Denzel Washington, and its premise is simple... they work on a train line.  They go out on what is supposed to be an easy, somewhat boring train transfer, moving a train and its cars from one town to the next in rural, blue collar Pittsburgh.

In another part of the state, two bumbling engineers accidentally let a train get away from them.  Just so happens this train is pretty huge.  Just so happens that its carrying toxic chemicals.  Just so happens that there is a train full of school kids on a field trip not too far up the track.  Just so happens that there is a dangerous part of the track up the road.  Just so happens this runaway train is, well, unstoppable.  Just so happens that... Denzel and Chris Pine are on the other train and are going to save the day.

Just so happens... I loved the heck out of this movie.  You know, sometimes you just want to be entertained, you don't want to think too much, you don't want to be taught anything or preached to or leave the theater dwelling on the film's message and so on... with "Unstoppable", none of that happens.  Its not a dumb movie, it just doesn't pretend to be anything that its not... its simply an action film with two likable leads on one train, trying to stop another train from going really, really fast.

This is one of those films that I liked watching now, and when it comes on Starz around May or so, it will be fun to leave on in the background while I'm doing other things around the house. 

"NO TREE"
If you come to The Cabana, you won't see a Christmas tree in our living room.  You won't see stockings on the mantle, you won't find lights hung around the railing out on the porch, or a giant Mickey in a Santa suit sitting in the corner. 

The reason why?  We didn't put a tree up this year.  See, I've always poked fun at those people who had their tree up in November, before Thanksgiving... in my mind, Christmas doesn't start until Thanksgiving is over, regardless of Wal-Mart having their trimmings up in September.

But, I kinda understand why people put it up before Thanksgiving.  See, our tree is huge.  Its a decent tree, its 7.5 feet, and its big.  Its one of those older trees where there are branches to install in the tree, first the bottom row, then the next, then the next, then a few more, until you get 2/3rds the way up the tree, then you stick on the top part.  The branches are supposedly color coded, but the white and the yellow look awfully alike, and the yellow has two levels and its just a nightmare. 

I've got to drag this thing out, put all the branches on, then we have to deal with gaps.  Then we have to deal with lights... though I'm thinking  that, starting next year, I'm going to toss every single strand of lights we have here out into the garbage... lights are now about $1 or $2 a box, so I can spend $10 a year to have fresh lights that I don't have to worry about.  The Lovely Steph Leann is all about colored lights, so they are even cheaper. 

Anyway, after the lights finally go up, we've got the ornaments.  I came into this marriage with about a dozen or so ornaments, whileshe came in with about 779 ornaments.  And she wants every.  single.  one of them.  on the tree. 

When Thanksgiving is over, we just get busy.  Really, really busy.  We had a weekend away that resulted in us spending a few days in Disney World, meeting up with some very dear friends while we were there.  We figured when we got back, we'd get the tree up.  When we got back, we were tired, we were lazy, we figured we'd get the tree up in a few days.

A few more days go by, and I finally ask The Lovely Steph Leann, "What if... what if we didn't put a tree up?"  She pauses, reflects for a minute, and said, "Well, I hope that this doesn't start a tradition of not putting a tree up..."  I told her that we would put it up, just maybe not this year.

Mid-December comes around, and no tree still.  The Lovely Steph Leann informs me that we aren't putting up a tree until we clean the floor.  My argument was simply, why clean the floor when we are putting a tree down, with a tree skirt over it covering the area.  Why not clean it after the tree is put away in January?  No dice, says the wife.  No floor, no tree.  I said I wasn't cleaning that part of the floor, and its a stalemate.

Then, a few days ago, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Well, I'm in agreement... we don't have to put a tree up this year.  Just so long as we don't make this a permanent thing."  I shake my head, thinking that oh, we'll get it up at some point soon.

And here we are, the weekend before Christmas, no tree. And there won't be a tree this year at The Cabana.  Next year, I'm going to become one of those people that I made fun of... our tree is going up in mid-November, BEFORE Thanksgiving.    So when Thanksgiving rolls around, our tree is up, and we don't have to worry about it. 

And it will be a new tree.  Not the beastly monster that we have now, but something a little easier, maybe not smaller, but easier to put up.  Its gotta hold 779 ornaments, after all.