The Semi Finals Begin: Guys Night

According to the stats that Seacrusty and Fox likes to toss up, there are less grains of sand on this world's beaches than people who auditioned this year.  There are fewer stars in the sky than the average amount of hopefuls who showed up to try and make it.  There are less screw-ups in ObamaCare than the number of people who tried out... well, there are a lot of screw-ups in ObamaCare... maybe the number might be equal.

Needless to say, right here on this here Coffee blog here we have chronicled, night by night, the auditions, who to watch for, who sounded good, who sounded great, who is overrated and who is underrated.  And, of course, Bayley Brown! came back.  We've whittled it down to only 24 people, 12 dudes and 12 chicks... and tonight, the dudes start the show...

THIS IS 

AMERICAN

IDOL GUYS NIGHT

Some weird announcer voice comes up, and invites us to welcome the judges... Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler... Jennifer Lo... and Randy Jackson, the Dawg... and here comes Ryan Seacrusty himself, telling us its The Big Time!

On Thursday, we find out who joins the Idol Finals, as the Top Five Guys and Top Five Chick vote getters will advance, and each judge gets a Wild Card Pick, rounding out a Top 13 Finals.

And remember, Seacrusty informed us that one of the previously cut dudes was coming back--Big Jermaine.. Jerkweed Cowboy... Lil Pimp... or Johnny Keyser will come back tonight, through some magic of "we are Fox and we'll do it how we want to..."  And who is that?  We'll find out later...

The Idol dudes could pick any song they want (though I'm sure it had to be approved due to rights), and tonight, Reed Grimm gets the pole position, going first.  Singing "Moves Like Jagger," Reed kicks off the semi-final round.  His version is very bluesy, and he does a bit on a small drum set on stage.  And he flails so much, his mic pops off at the end.

Randy the Dawg thought it was a great kick-off to the show, as did J-Lo, and Creepy Uncle Steven loved his little fancy footwork shuffley thing.

In the 2nd spot, here comes 27 year old, Pittsburgh native White Chocolate!  And strangely enough, he goes right after the "didn't expect you to sing that song" vote, as he takes on Aretha's "Think".  Though he might have a large black woman trapped in his body, sorta like Tyler Perry, to me, its just not coming out tonight.  This is kind of a boring performance.  Sad.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

And now is a guy that we saw very little of until like, last week.  That's right, its D'Kenny G.  Sorry, this kid just bores me.  Not interested.  Campbell is crying a bit in the background of the room, and his swingy chair is playing some music... I'm only guessing it is enhancing D'Kenny G's song.  He's got some chops, but I'm just not impressed.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Now, here comes one of the guys that The Lovely Steph Leann is rooting for... Colton Dixon.  The dude who's sister auditioned, had the judges coerce him into auditioning (again) and he ends up making it, after his sister gets cut.  Singing some Paramore, he sits at a piano... and in addition to The Lovely Steph Leann, I genuinely like this guy.

However the judges feel, they loved it.

And now, Jeremy Risotto is doing some Sara Bareillis, the song being "Gravity".  I'm a little torn, as I don't know that I would have picked this song, but I'd feel bad if Jeremy messed up one that I really like, like "Love Song", probably my favorite song of the last ten years.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Good to get some color in here!  And now its Aaron Marcellus Wallace!  He's a regular dude with a big dream, because this means everything to him.  He's singing The Jackson 5's "Never Can Say Goodbye", and he's got an advantage over most of the other guys, being black and all.  Personally, out of five auditions that were just pretty good, this one feels like my favorite thusfar.

However the judges feel, differently.  They loved it.

This season's country crooner, as Seacrusty called him, is Chase Likens... singing "Storm Warning", he's got a voice made for country radio, flat out.  And the name, "Chase Likens", sounds like a country name.  He's not blowing me away, but I can see him being successful at some point.

However the judges feel, they loved it.

The stage now belongs to The Welfare Justin Timberlake, aka, Creighton Fraker.  He wins the award for Most Likely To Come Out During the Run of Idol This Season... and Welfare Timberlake is keeping the ballad trend going by doing one of my least favorite Cyndi Lauper song, "True Colors".   And it kinda put me to sleep. No joke, I just nodded off three times.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Phillip Phillips, the pawn shop worker, has joined us now.  Phillip2 is doing Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight", and I dig it.  Its dirty, its raw, its bluesy and I can dig it.  Best so far tonight, I thought.

However, the judges... sensing a pattern here?

The little girls go crazy as Eben Beiber is up next!  He sat next to Lil Pimp and was chosen over said Lil Pimp on the last Hollywood show.  Eben Beiber is doing "Set Fire to the Rain" from Adele.  Can you imagine how a 15 year old would sing a grown up song like "Set Fire to the Rain"?  That's how Eben Beiber is doing right now.  But I'm guessing he'll make it through, due to the legions of little girls who will follow him incessantly.  Eh, it was okay.  Seems like he's taking it just one step at a time.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

I think the producers are split on Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) because on one hand, he's funny, and fun, and cutie patootie and you never know what he'll say and talented and on and one... but on the other hand, do they want THIS GUY to be their American Idol?   Seriously?   So, Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) is doing "Angels", as she shows off his sensitive side.  Good vocals, but I'm bored, again.

The judges felt like it might be the wrong song.

However, the judges loved it.

And the Pimp Spot, the final spot of the night, here's Joshua Lidet doing some Jennifer Hudson, as in, "Pull Me Through."  Geez!  I'm freakin' bored!  I mean, great voice, sounds good, but the song is a ballady type song, crossed with an inspiration song, and it equals I'm sleepy.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Just like they loved every other song sung tonight.  Every.  Single.  Tune.  Could we get Simon to just phone in for a few minutes?

And finally... who comes back?  Well, its not other than Big Jermaine... which makes me very, very happy.  I love this dude.  He's doing Luther's ballad "Dance with My Father", and its not perfect, but I want this guy to go on to the next round.

Of course, the judges loved it.

My favorites of the night... Phillip2... Aaron Marcellus Wallace... Colton Dixon... Joshua Lidet... Big Jermaine... Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)... Reed Grimm... Chase Likens.... White Chocolate...Eben Beiber... Jeremy Risotto... The Welfare Justin Timerlake... D'Kenny G


My predictions on who will advance:  Phillip2... Colton Dixon... Joshua Lidet... Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)... Reed Grimm.  Possible wild card selections might be Big Jermaine... The Welfare Justin Timberlake... D'Kenny G.  

TOMORROW NIGHT... THE CHICKS TAKE OVER

The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... 40 to 31

Facebook readers... there are videos here, so click over to the Mother Ship and read there.  Plus you'll help me on my quest to get to 75,000 readers.  

Guess we should finish this list up, ay?  Okay, so let's do a quick recap of all things cool in 2010... here is the list thus far, from #100 to 91... then the numbers 90 to 81... then you can click to see the 80th to 71st... then, onto the 70th through 61st... and how bout reading the 60th coolest to 51st... then finally, to catch up, the 50th to 41st....

Then you are ready for the 40th Coolest Thing of 2010 to the 31st Coolest Thing of 2010

40. HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE
At this point, Antoine Dodson is a complete punchline... well, honestly, when Antoine was released unto the world, he was pretty much a punchline, but when this video premiered, it was HILL-AIR-EE-OUS.   This chick in the poorer part of town has her home broken into, and she's assaulted--no, not funny yet--but then, the camera focuses in on her brother.  And off he goes, telling us that, "wail, obviously, we got a rapist up here in Lincoln park...".   And it is brilliant.



All I could think of was the guys in the NBC editing room, watching this footage, laughing until they could barely breathe saying, "THIS.  IS.  COMEDY.  GOLD."  Cause it is.

So then, The Gregory Brothers took the news footage, put some beats to it, and created "The Bed Intruder Song", which then became the most watched non-official music video on You Tube in 2010.  And even now, it makes me laugh.  And laugh.  And laugh.



So you can run and tell that, run and tell that, run and tell that homeboy, homeboy, home home homeboy...

39. "FIRESTARTER"... 
Another Stephen King book, another one that was far better than I remember.  Andy, the dad, and Charlie, the daughter, are on the run because the government is chasing them.  And the reason the government agency known as The Shop is chasing them is because Andy took part in an experimental program in college, where he meets Victoria and leaving them both with special powers.   They have Charlie, who displays incredible pyrokinetic powers--starting fires telepathically.

As the book progresses, The Shop gets closer and closer, aided by the manipulation of John Rainbird, a cold blooded killer who befriends Charlie with the motive of strangling her when The Shop has what they need from her.

Stephen King writes a great story here, one that is never scary yet very tense through most of the book.  Its hard not to like, or at least empathize with Charlie, who is a mere 6 or 7 years old and wants to protect her Daddy at all costs.  And if you've seen the movie, its only a partial representation of this fantastic story, almost like the "highlights" of the story.  And I daresay that John Rainbird is truly one of the great underrated villains in King lore, maybe behind only those great ones like Pennywise, Randall Flagg and Barlow the vampire.

38. DISNEY GETS HOT 
So, we had always said we wouldn't do Disney in the summer time, because of the heat factor.  We went the previous year in June, with St'Ray and C'Ray, and though we had a great time, we realized how stinkin' hot it is.  But, in 2010, Disney released news that they were doing The Summer Nightastic Fireworks and the return of the Electrical Light Parade.  Plus, they were doing a summer-only extra special set up on The Hollywood Tower of Terror.  Now, was a fireworks show, a old timey classic parade and some extra lights on a thrill ride enough for us to plan a special trip to Disney World?

The Lovely Steph Leann, d$, Mama Ruthless and Big Daddy Ron

Abso-Mickey-lutely.

So, we talked the in-laws, that being Big Daddy Ron and Mama Ruthless into joining us for a special five day trip to The Most Magical Place on Earth.  Yes it was hot... honestly, though, it was hotter the previous June with The Rays, so this particular July was bearable.  Okay, on Monday at Animal Kingdom, it was a little hotter.

The addition to The Hollywood Tower of Terror wasn't all that great, just a few lights and a few special effects that didn't actually work the night I went, but the Electrical Light Parade was everything I had hoped.  So, so awesome.  And Summer Nightastic Fireworks was completely worth the trip as well.

Until... THE ATTACK OF THE LEFT EYE...

37... RAPUNZEL LETS HER HAIR DOWN
Here's what I had to say in December of 2010

We were able to meet Rapunzel and Flynn on our February trip.  However,
Flynn Ryder is no longer available to meet and greet on normal park days.

When The Lovely Steph Leann and I finish a movie, I always look at her as the credits roll and say, "Whaddya think?" and she tells me "I loved it!" or "It was cute" or "Eh".  Then she asks me what I thought, and my answers are a bit more varied... and this time I said, "It was pretty good."  Typically, this means to The Lovely Steph Leann that I didn't like it at all.  Not true... I said the same thing about "The Proposal", and ended up really liking that movie quite a bit.  

And like "The Proposal", the more I thought about "Tangled", the more I liked it.  As pressure to not be princessy built over the year, Disney changed the marketing strategy of this film, even cutting a new trailer that concentrated on the hero, Flynn Rider, more so than the actual subject of the film, that being Rapunzel... but when you see the movie, in the first thirty seconds of the film, Flynn Rider tells you straight up, "This story is not about me...", smashcut to a tall tower where our heroine has been kept locked away.  The story is, and has always been, about Rapunzel.


Loved this film.  Read the full review here.


36... HEARTS BREAKING EVEN
The Script's "Breakeven".  Its a good song.  What can I say?

35... SARA GOES UNCHARTED
I've always liked chicks with guitars, which probably explains why I enjoyed (ah, I still do) the music of Jennifer Knapp... toss other instruments in like the fiddle, mandolin and harmonica, and that will explain why I'm such a Dixie Chicks fan.  So it stands to reason that I would be a Sara Bareilles fan.

I would classify her first hit, "Love Song" from 2009's "Little Voice" album, as my favorite song of the last 10 years or so.  Love that freakin' tune, and the 79 plays on my iPod is 2nd all time thusfar.

Her latest album, "Kaleidoscope Heart" is just as good as the first one--while nothing meets the awesome awesomeness of "Love Song", this CD still has a great set of music full of those things I enjoy--guitars, pianos, ukeleles (!), harmonicas and great vocals on singles like "Uncharted", "King of Anything" and "Gonna Get Over You". I wish her well, as she was the opening act for Sugarland at the Indiana State Fair, and had just finished her set and come off stage when the whole thing collapsed, killing 6 people and injuring dozens more (she nor any of her crew were hurt).

Anyway, in my own research, she apparently has a 2004 album, "Careful Confessions" that I didn't even know about... looks like its another CD I'll have to seek out and buy.

You may also know Trey Cartledge by his hip-hop name, Trey Songz

34... TREY GETS COOL
My brother-in-law Tyler had quite a college experience, being best friends with some of the greatest guys you could ever meet, in a Deuce-like house they lovingly called House 23.   In this house, located by the campus of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, lived such guys as "Long" Jon Thompson and "Fast" Jonny Lenning and Tyler "The Sexy Beast" Campbell and B-Rad "Mr. Pink" Pinkerton and our guy at #34, Trey "Dawg" Cartledge.

Not only did he win the 11th season of The DFC right out from under me, he also does a rockin' version of "Wagon Wheel"... plus, he's just a cool guy.  Probably the coolest cat I know.

33...DOIN' IT FOR VAN GOGH
One of my favorite podcasts is hosted by Adam Carolla, and his two sidekicks and/or co-hosts are Alison Rosen and "Bald" Bryan Bishop.   Bald Bryan, until very recently, did another podcast with his buddy Anderson, called "The Film Vault", and it was probably my favorite new podcast of 2010.

Definitely a podcast for older ears, as there is language, it would cover a different topic every week, counting down each hosts "Top Fives" in topics ranging from "Best Nerds" to "(almost) Awesome Movies)" to "Villians" to "War Films"... they also do a "Flick'fessions", which highlights the movies they watched in the week since the previous episode, which, to be honest, is just an excuse to talk about movies.  We have similar  segments on The Deucecast, that is to say parts of the show that only give us a legit excuse to discuss films that we like--or hate.

Sadly, though, in July of 2011, they took a hiatus.  They've said they'll be back, and I hope that's true.  The title of this particular rank, "Doin' it for Van Gogh", was the line said at the end of every single episode--and by the final episode, I finally figured out its a line from one of Anderson's favorite films, "Blue Velvet".

32... MEXICAN EATING ON A SUNDAY NIGHT
Ah, here we are again with the oft mentioned Zarzaur family... the kids--The Zach Attack, Special K and Jay Z... the pops--Chris... and the best friend--The Statuesque Melanie Z.   One of their favorite restaurants is Pablo's Cantina, as they favor the location down by Lee Branch, with the huge second floor deck and the large tree protruding through it.

Somewhere during the year, they invited myself and The Lovely Steph Leann, and now its one of our favorite places to eat as well.   Sitting on the deck, mostly in the mid-spring and late fall, is just awesome.  Also awesome?  The fish tacos.  Also awesome?  The company.  Also awesome?  The quesadillas.  Not awesome?  The fact it takes me several minutes after my food gets there to get my extra sour cream, but thats kinda standard at any Mexican place.  Awesome, though?  The people we eat with.  The Z Family is awesome. But also awesome?  The fish tacos.

31... MICKEY SPILLS HIS SECRETS
I had actually written about six paragraphs under this particular ranking, and realized that this really deserved its own post.  So I left this post and went and wrote another one, entitled The Keys to the Kingdom, telling you all about how awesome this was.  And you can read it by either scrolling down or just clicking right here.

Coming soon... True Grit as a novel and a movie... Pawn Shops become fun... Cee-Lo tries to forget... and later, the car radio changes forever... 

The Summer of Blogging Day Sixty One

A Nine Year Old's Rap Sheet

The summer movie season continues eating away at our budget intently, as two movies came up on the docket this weekend... the first came as a result of our nephew Benjamin coming to visit.  The 9 year old and his family live in Jasper, but they spend time here in B'ham with the in-laws (mine, not theirs) frequently.

One of the activities including him playing hours and hours of LEGO Harry Potter on the Wii, and another was a movie... "Kung Fu Panda 2".  Originally subtitled "The Kaboom of Doom", I'm kinda glad they dropped that and just went with the "2" part.

Anyway, I liked the movie as much as the first one.  Its premise basically surrounds a panda named Po (voiced by Jack Black) who, in the first film, learned he was a "dragon warrior" and was taught Kung Fu, and joined up with other members of the Furious Five, including Tigress (Angelina Jolie) and Mantis (Seth Rogan) and others.  For whatever reason, Grandmaster Flash wasn't included in this.

The bad guy this time around is an evil peacock named Shen, deliciously vocalized by Gary Oldman, and you'll hear other familiar voices like Jean Claude Van Damme, Dennis Haysbert and Danny McBride. 

The animation is wonderful, the story is solid and flows well and its perfect for just about anyone of any age.  You kinda wonder if there is an attraction between Po and Tigress, but the real relationship moments are between Po and his adoptive father, Mr. Ping.  You can tell its adoption when you see Mr. Ping is a goose. 

Po wonders who he is, knowing that a goose cannot be his real dad, and begins to question his family... and in a touching moment, Mr. Ping is forced to watch his beloved son Po walk away to battle. 

As far as Po's real family, they kinda do that movie thing where one of the main issues in the second movie is an issue they don't even address in the first one... sorta like, when you realize Riggs wife is dead in the first Lethel Weapon, its only a minor plotpoint they use to establish the character, but when Lethel Weapon 2 rolls around, it becomes a major point in the story.

Same with Po's real family--only used to establish Po's character in KFP 1, but in KFP 2, it becomes a plot point.  Guess you can do that with sequels... 

And man that 9 year old kid loves him some Panda.  And Bakugon.  And Bey Blades.  After the movie, then dinner at Chick Fila, we dropped the quickly tiring The Lovely Steph Leann off at The Cabana, then Benjamin and I spent some time first at The LEGO Store, then Toys R Us.

I do love The LEGO Store.  Of course, every time I go there, I look over at ABC Toys, where The Happiest Place in the Mall used to be, and I throw up a little in my own mouth.  Like I did last night.  Ended up walking out with three LEGO guys he built himself, and a couple of Harry Potter keychains I bought for myself.

At Toys R Us, he spent about 30 minutes in front of the Bakugon and Bey Blade aisle, touching just about every toy and telling me which ones he had and which ones he needed.   I listened intently, though I can't say I learned anything.

Should be noted that for whatever reason, he likes rap music.  I dont think he fully understands the concept of "rap music", other than its style, so I was forced to fumble through my car for something that he could listen to.  Luckily, I had a copy of "The Greatest" by LL Cool J, and was able to pop in "Mama Said Knock You Out", which he rather enjoyed.  My other other CDs in the car at that moment included Norah Jones, Sara Bareilles, Sarah McLachlan, Darius Rucker and, of course, Dwight Yoakam's Greatest Hits--$5.99 at Wal-Mart, I considered it a steal. 

Songs that I did manage to find on radio that made the cut were the edited version of "California Love" by Tupac and Dr. Dre... "Rocket 2 U" by The Jets... "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears... "Big Time" by Peter Gabriel... and "The Come Back Song" by Darius Rucker.  "You Give Good Love" by Pre-crack Whitney also came on, but he informed me, "I don't like slow songs.  I like rocker songs.  And rap music."

We got about 34 seconds into "Dre Day", but I was able to flip the channel just as I heard the syllable "Muth..." and saved the day.  Sometimes SiriusXM will censor, sometimes not.  And since I listen to 90s on 9 a heckuva lot, I was bewildered that because I hear "Hip Hop Hooray", "Gangsta's Paradise" and "Baby Got Back" repeatedly, I just knew I would catch one of them for Benjamin's listening pleasure... but when I needed them to come on, I got nothing.  Thats how I knew my life was outta luck, foo.

He did ask me if I had ever heard an Eminem song... I told him I had.  He asked me if I liked any Eminem songs.  I told him not many, though there were a few that I kinda liked.  He asked me if Eminem was bad.  I told him that yes, Eminem songs are pretty bad.  He asked me how.  I told him there was a lot of language, and that Eminem really liked to use lots of F-words.  He asked me, "What's an F-word?"  I changed the subject.

I finally popped in a CD that I had gotten from The Happiest Place in the Mall, one that included Hilary Duff, Aly & AJ and some High School Musical stuff.  Figured that was safe as anything. 

The line of night came when "Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus came on... sadly, and I'll admit this to you--I know just about every word to it (and to "G.N.O." that came on later... which I'm guessing that besides me, only Hurricane Rhett would even know that stood for "Girls Night Out", much less know it by heart)... anyway, the song came on and Benjamin said, "Really?  Is this Hannah Montana?"

I replied, "Its Miley Cyrus, yes."

Pause.

"So... why are two guys listening to Hannah Montana?"

Touche.

Summer of Blogging Day Thirteen