Campbell's Journey Home

So, I have a kid now.  Like, a real life baby.  Another mouth in The Cabana that wants food, another person in this place that will have (or has already) his own personality and thoughts and opinions.  He is upstairs with his mommy, having a late night snack as babies are wont to do sometimes.

Its an amazing thing, really.  For the entire pregnancy, we had no clue of the gender of the baby... was it Lorelei?  Was it Campbell?  Thankfully, we found out early it wasn't both at the same time... but on Thursday, December 1st, at 437p, we found out it was Campbell Isaiah.  And now, I can't imagine a daughter--I can't imagine not having Campbell here in our lives.

But he didn't come home immediately... and neither did The Lovely Steph Leann.  So for your sake, because many of you have asked, and for my own sake, so a decade from now I can recall how it all happened, here's Campbell's journey from birth to The Cabana.

So, hundreds of you read the running diary on the day he was born.  Dr. Babysnatcher snatches him out and they plunk him down on the table to do all their doctory things.   As I said, childbirth was supposedly this beautiful and magical experience and such, but for me, it was just weird.  I wasn't queasy, or it didn't freak me out, it was just... well, weird.  And after the baby was yanked out, Dr. Babysnatcher... okay, you ever been to Panera Bread?  You know how you rake all the extra food and such off of the plate and into the garbage, and it goes into a big pile?  That was kind of what it looked like--the doc was just pulling out all the extra junk.  Weird.

Also, did you know that The Lovely Steph Leann had TWO epidurals?  So, she had decided to go unmedicated for delivery for a variety of reasons, but once admitted to the hospital the day before--turns out she had something called pre-eclempsia, which has high blood pressure and protein in the urine as symptoms--the odds of unmedicated delivery was very slim.

About halfway through the day, after the doc told her that going natural would be very hard and very bad for her because of blood pressure issues, she finally relented and allowed the epidurals.  Of course, I have to step out when the Epidurally Doc comes in, and I learn later that because of her being swollen practically all over, including her back, the epidural given only numbed half of her body.  She was still feeling contractions on the other half--so they had to stick her two more times to get it to work.

The Lovely Steph Leann is known as a sleeper.  Always has been.  So here is my impression of her during birth:

Push push push push ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ what?  I'm awake... push?  ok, push push push push push ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ huh?  push again?  ok, push push push push push pusZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Yup, she fell asleep in-between contractions while pushing.  The nurse looked at me and asked with surprise, "Is she snoring?" and I smiled and said, "Yup.  That would be The Lovely Steph Leann."

So, you know the rest--baby out, mommy in a daze, and daddy given a pair of scissors to cut the cord.

"So here I am, warm, fed, taking a nap... and I'm evicted from my womb
with a view.  Its cold, I'm stark naked, I got fluid and blood in my eyes,
I'm hungry and some dude in a Jedi sweatshirt is coming at my food
supply line with a pair of scissors.  What the fool, man?!"

Let me just say this about that cord thing... for me, it was kind of pointless.  I guess I can put on my Hurricane Rhett Dead Inside pants and say it.  Didn't see the point.  Campbell was already cut from mommy, and all I did was cut the excess from his tummy while he lay in the crib, screaming his fool head off.  I think I was supposed to bond with him, and in truth, I found it distracting because that cord was hard to cut and I was trying to not amputate his little leg off with the scissors.  It would have been different were I to cut him free from mommy, but it was more of a symbol than anything else.  Maybe its just me.

The next 24 hours were a blur.  The Lovely Steph Leann and I were both flat out exhausted, yet almost too exhilarated to rest.  We had already agreed to let Campbell go to the nursery overnight, being brought back to our room only to nurse.  We had a few visitors that night, including Hurricane Rhett and Amarylis By Mornin' (up from san antone), The Rays--both St'ray and C'ray--Bro-in-law Tyler and his Boo Brynn and a few other folks.  My buddy Tebershaw came up and helped me install the carseat base, and our friends The Stampers checked on us daily.

Remember, since Camp decided it would be a good idea to show up, oh, you know, 17 days early, we were still in the old women's center at the hospital, and as (mis)luck would have it, we were in the smallest room on the floor.  The room ended up being quite cramped for a little while.  The Brookwood New Women's Center opened on December 2nd.  The day after Campbell popped out... so on Friday, they wheeled us over to the new building... we were the final patients to be moved, and we were the first (and for a brief few hours, the only) patients on the 6th floor.

The 6th floor is considered the "High Risk" ward, and we could thank The Lovely Steph Leann's roller coaster blood pressure for that honor.  Not that any of the nurses will remember those little nuggets of trivia, or even us for that matter, by now, but its worth mentioning.

A proud Wookiee, proud of the new Ewok in
the tribe.

The second and third nights both brought in a more visitors, like my best mate Wookiee, who came in a sat a while with us, held Campbell, and joined me for dinner.  DeLisa and DeNick also stopped by with their own son, DeGeorge, plus some more family, and of course, Big Daddy Ron (the pops in law) and Mama Ruthless (the mom in law) were there alot.  The Lovely Steph Leann had a blood pressure cuff attached to her arm for the better part of three days or so, inflating and deflating every 10 to 15 minutes.  All day.  All night.  Sucks to be her.

I do have to tell you that the hospital cafeteria food wasn't that bad.  We had several coupons for food, which I happily used over and over--though it was titled "Complimentary Meal Voucher", and in fine print said, "Not  To Exceed $5", which would buy you a parfait and half a co-cola.   Their corn dogs were delish, though.

Now, the trick was actually getting to the cafeteria.  When in the old building, in Labor & Delivery, it wasn't a very long.  The cafe is on the ground floor, so it was a quick walk over.  In the new building, however?  Well, as I learned by leaving a trail of bread crumbs... you take the elevator to the 3rd Floor, which will let you out at the nurses station.  Take a right, go around the atrium and enter the hallway into the old building.  Follow that hall about 150 feet until you come to the nurses station (you'll pass an old lady in Room 3334, usually eating, usually lonely and also another door with four folders on it, labeled Shannon, Dawn, Pam and something else).  Take a right at that nurses station and walk probably another 250 feet down to Elevator A.  Go to the G floor, and the cafe will be right there.  Yep, that's a walk.

Up until this point, its routine.  Campbell has been spending a bit of his time in the blue lights of the nursery because he's got a touch of jaundice, but no big whoop, right?  The Lovely Steph Leann is doing better, and my fold out chair bed is brand spankin' new, and actually pretty comfy.  For whatever reason, the cable TV in the room had no CBS channel, so I didn't get to watch a single down of the SEC Championship game, but it was a blowout, so no big whoop, right?

Smashcut to about 4am Sunday morning.

Though I have slept decently well in the hospital, save for when I tried to move an inch in the old building's chair-bed, I still do that half-awake-can-hear-whats-happening-but-it-doesn't-register thing.  You know what I mean, like when you can understand a conversation or a situation, but the depth or gravity of said convo or situation doesn't really sink in because you are half asleep.

So, once, in college, I had stayed up all night for work, and gotten to bed around 7am the next morning, a Saturday.  I was zonked out completely, though not enough to sleep through the phone ringing.  I answered with a bleary, "heh... he... hello...?" and on the other end was buddy and frat brother Scotty Wilkes, who said, "Hey man, listen, my car won't start.  I have to be at work in like, an hour... I really need a lift, or maybe if I could borrow your car..."  Now, I'm someone who has had car trouble after car trouble all of my life, so my natural response should have been, "Dude, yeah, let me wake up, I'll be right over..." or at least "sure, take my car, just don't wreck."  Instead, I mumbled something about how tired I was, and I wasn't getting up and hung up.  When I woke up a few hours later, I immediately realized what I had done, and called Scotty back.  He ended up calling our friend Spivey, who took him.  Spivey also chastised me for not being willing to help. Deserved.

It was this type of vague recognition that I had when the nurses brought Campbell in around 4am, and then told the already awake The Lovely Steph Leann that he was being admitted to the NICU.  I heard the nurses describe Campbell's jaundice, and how it wasn't getting any better, but also that he had something called "retraction", which is a respiratory issue.  The Lovely Steph Leann got to hold him for a minute, and then they took him, placed him in a crib and wheeled him out.

I drifted back to sleep.

At 6am, she nudged me awake.  I turned over and saw her there, bloodshot and puffy eyes, and she whispered, "Campbell's in the NICU."  I shrugged and simply said, "I know.  I heard."  I sat up and excused myself to the restroom.  When I came out, The Lovely Steph Leann was laying back on her bed, snuffly and a little teary.  I sat on the edge of the bed and held her hand.  "The Lovely Steph Leann... its going to be okay.  I know it is."

She attempted a smile, failed, and then let it fall to a whimper, as she softly said, "I know its probably going to be fine... but all I could think of was Mason."  Mason was the child of Steph's cousin Seth and his wife Cherie, and was only a few months old when God called him home.  I smiled and said, "Well... maybe this is God's way of telling us to stop the complaining about not having time to get everything ready... He's giving us a few more days."

She replied, still softly, "I don't care.  I don't care about the house.  I don't care if anything is ready or never gets cleaned.  I want Campbell to be okay, and come home."  She had a few tears trickle down, and confided that she'd been awake for two hours and had been crying for much of it.  "Seriously?" I said, and I leaned on the reclined bed, put my arm around her and let her weep a little on my shoulder.  "The Lovely Steph Leann, you should never have to cry alone.  Never.  You should have woken me."

We rested there for a few minutes in silence, as the sun slowly rose and daylight began to lighten the room.  After a while, we got our showers, got ourselves gussied up and prepared for the day.  I sent out a few texts, first to my best friend/work wife Melanie, with the simple words, "Campbell in NICU".  She immediately texted back, "Can I come see y'all?"  And within 30 minutes, she met us in the 4th floor lobby, with cookies.  And Melanie, The Lovely Steph Leann and I scrubbed up in the big hand sink and made our way to see Campbell.

Poor kid. He was one cord in the back of the neck away from being a part of The Matrix.  Under the blue lights,in a crib, in the NICU.  Brookwood's new center has a new NICU, and instead of a row of cribs and incubators, each newborn has his or her own room, each with privacy curtains over the doorways that can be opened or pulled closed, each with a recliner for sitting and/or nursing, each with a couch for sitting and/or sleeping.  Its a great set up, and the digs are exemplary... only, the reason you'd need them is not a reason you'd want.  Only daddy (that's me) and mommy (that's The Lovely Steph Leann) are allowed to touch Campbell--we could open the little incubator door and put our hand on him, stroke his back or his hair, or touch his hands--but nobody else could do so.

So there we were.  My two favorite chicks, standing over a crib with my newly appointed favorite kid in the whole world.  It was hard.  Yes, he was in there for some cautionary respiratory issues, yes it was a common jaundice issue, yes he would be fine.  But it was still hard.   This was... is... my child.  Less than four days old, and he's already strapped up with wires and probes and IVs and junk.

Over the course of the day, we made several trips down to the NICU, talked a few times on the phone to friends like JustFish and Ryan Sherman and answered numerous texts from friends and family and such.  The support was absolutely overwhelming.

Dr. Babysnatcher came in that afternoon and checked up on The Lovely Steph Leann, determining that her blood pressure had been a roller coaster, and she was still too up and down to go home just yet.  With permission, I headed home that evening to get some rest, to return Monday morning... I did get a call from my Mama (no, not the dead one, the other one... okay, so my biological mom who... you see, its my "real" mother, not to say the mom who died wasn't my mother but... um... you know, we'll get to that later...)

Anyway, she called me late Sunday night and said, "Hey, I'm coming to see my grandson."  Now, I would love to see her, but I understand this is a long drive--she lives in Andalusia, about 3 hours away--so I tell her my concerns. She basically gives me the pshw and says she will be up in the morning around 7am.  That's good, gives me a little time to catch some sleep.

And of course, the phone rings the next morning with Jan saying, "Hey, I'm 15 miles outside of Birmingham, how do I get to your house?"  Drowsy, feeling like I just went to bed a mere few hours before, I mumble something about how to get to 459, then 280 and how I'll meet her in the Chick-fil-a parking lot in about 20 minutes.  I focus just enough to notice its still pretty dark outside, and as I begin to wonder why its so dark at 705 in the morning, I realize its actually 503am.

She visited for a mere three hours, just enough to see me, see The Lovely Steph Leann and visit with Campbell in the NICU, even though she couldn't hold him. By mid-morning she was leaving, having to work that night at her job... she said to me as she was leaving, "I am glad I came down.  I couldn't stay long, but every second was worth the drive."

Love you, Mama

I drove her back to The Cabana and back to her car, and she was one her way, and I zipped upstairs for a much needed sleep extension... finally, I got up and showered, and after a quick breakfast at Burger King, and a quick stop at Starbucks to see Melanie, the team and grab a hot chocolate, I raced back to the NICU... only to find not much of a change in Campbell's condition.

This was my view for about 45 minutes while I held
my son.

And so it stayed like that for Monday.  The Lovely Steph Leann and I made some frequent trips down to the NICU from our room, but also tried to get a little rest.  Dr. Babysnatcher gave her one more night in the hospital, with blood pressure issues, but let us know it was likely the final evening, saying, "At some point, we have to risk you going home with medication to control your BP issue."

Monday night I slept at home again, having to be at work Tuesday morning early... after work, I again went to the hospital to visit Campbell and The Lovely Steph Leann.  Around 5pm, they released her, though Camp still had a few more days.

Seems to be its customary to keep newborns in the NICU for 72 hours once admitted, which meant that a Sunday admittance would mean a stay through Tuesday night minimum.  Also, they told us that they wanted him to spend at least 48 hours out of the incubator and into a crib, which meant that every day in the incubator kept us at least 2 days from bringing him home.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I drove away from Brookwood Tuesday night, mostly in silence.  Our child was left behind.  We wanted to bring him home and we couldn't, and we couldn't do anything about it.  Quite a helpless feeling.

On Wednesday, I went to work while The Lovely Steph Leann slept in a little, getting some much needed rest.  I made the decision to not visit the hospital on this day, mostly because I just wanted a break.  I'm not someone who can just go and... well, sit.  And sit.  And sit.  Yes, I loved seeing Campbell, and yes I enjoyed being with him, whispering encouragement to him, but really, there's only so much I could even do.  Plus, Mama Ruthless and The Lovely Steph Leann were up there most of the day, so I just came home after work and relaxed.

The good news, however, was that Campbell was moved from the NICU to the nursery... he still remained under the bili-lights for his jaundice, but things were quickly improving.  Thursday he spent all day in the nursery, under the lights, but also out from the lights where The Lovely Steph Leann could nurse and where Mommy and Daddy (and GiGi--that being Ruth, the grandmother) could hold him some too.

Our last few minutes in the hospital.  Five minutes
after this pic was taken, Campbell was loaded
into a car seat, preparing to come home.

Finally, Friday, we got the word that yes, he was being discharged.  Brookwood requires all parents to (a) watch this video on infant CPR... (b) to watch this how-to video on putting your kid in a car seat.... and (c) to actually be shown on your own car seat how it works and how your kid goes in it.  During the first two tasks, I did a double duty of watching the video and nudging The Lovely Steph Leann awake as she drifted every few minutes.

And the moment was upon us.  The doc came in, talked with us for a few minutes about Campbell, how he was doing, a few minor things to watch for, he shook both of our hands, wished us well and he was off.  And Campbell Isaiah was ours for the taking.  And The Lovely Steph Leann and her mom being of the same ilk, they took approximately 4,378 pictures as we were leaving the hospital, another 811 pics as we went to her parents home for a quick bite and then another 1,980 pics as I was walking in the door with Campbell in the car seat.

He's home.

In the days since, its been a little different.  God has definitely given a gift of adaptation to The Lovely Steph Leann, as she's gone from her enjoyment of about 10 to 12 hours of sleep per day to, in the first few days, 4 to 6, and a few weeks later, maybe 6 to 8, but all broken up into 2 and 3 hour chunks, if she's lucky.

Aunt Melanie holding Campbell

We've had a few people drop off food--thanks to The Hitchcocks, The Fishers and The Shermans--and a big thanks to work wife/best friend Melanie and her family for providing a delicious Middle Eastern themed meal the Sunday after Campbell came home.  Melanie stopped by with the food and was the first non-family to hold Campbell outside of the hospital, and as far as our home goes, still the only non-family a few weeks later.  Oh, she's family, who am I kidding.

Another big thanks to The Rays, The Shaws, The Stampers, The Barnetts, The Wookiees, Amy Harris, my pal Mikey, Jeff McG, Tommy Mac, Lil' Sister Ashley and (now) Lil' Brother Brandon, DeNick & DeLisa (with DeGeorge) and anyone else I might be forgetting for their calls, texts, visits and so on.  Your help, love and support has meant the world to us.  (and if I am forgetting anyone, I do apologize.  I do have a 20 day old here...).  And of course, a huge thanks to The Lovely Steph Leann's mom, who has been hugely supportive and helpful not only to her, but also to me, as I've been able to sleep some before I go to work.

Anyway, I won't be one of those dads who do nothing but post pics of their kids online, unless its worth a look.  And I'll keep blogging about love, pride and deep fried chicken and the like, I'll just be a little busier now, that's all.

The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... #100 - 91

If you are reading this on Facebook, you may want to just click over to Clouds In My Coffee, since this post has a ton of videos and photos you might not see on FB...

It took a while to get going, but I knew I'd get there eventually... this blog started in 2005, and at the end of the year, I did The 100 Coolest Things of 2005, all in one single post.  Right after 2006 ended, I broke up the list into ten installments, then the next year, did 2007's list, onto 2008's list, then 2009's list, and now here we are, the sixth time I've looked upon the previous year and gave you what I believe to be my favorite things of 2010.

What means "cool", asks you?  Just simply, its cool.  Its fun.  Be it a song, a movie, a TV show... something I really liked.  Maybe its a place to eat, one that I visited over and over during the year.  And sometimes its a person or a couple or a group... someone who had an impact, someone that I just adore or cherish or love dearly.  And its things that I discovered in 2010... thusly, as much as we love Steven and Calah Ray, they won't make this list, because they were in the Top Ten Coolest Things of 2009... and though they continue to be cool, they make way for new things, people and stuff.  There is even a few books and movies that came out prior to 2010, but I discovered them (or in one case, "re"discovered them) and thusly, here they are.

Well, let's get going, shall we?   Without further ado, here are the 100 Coolest Things of 2010

100... Alabama Wins the National Title
Okay, okay... yes I rib the Tide Nation, because yes, they've won multiple titles, and whether they can legitimately claim 13 national titles (which I think is a stretch) or they actually won their 7th or 8th title (more likely, methinks), the fact remains, that in this modern day and age, winning a national title in college football is a huge, huge thing. 



And they did it by beating none other than the college powerhouse known as The University of Texas by a closer-than-the-score-indicates score of 37-21.  Their star QB, Colt McCoy, went down early... but I think they would have prevailed anyway.  Because the difference in a team like Texas, and Alabama, at least in the 2009 season, is that Texas has a star player--McCoy.  Alabama had Ingram... and Jones... and McElroy... and a host of others that, even in the loss of one, would keep the team going.   And lest we forget, the game was really, really good. 

99... Queen Latifah Gets Her Man
I'll be honest... like The Lovely Steph Leann, I like the movies I like.  That means simply, sometimes a stupid movie is something I find hilarious (see "Employee of the Month" or "Deuce Bigalo: Male Gigolo") and supposedly incredible films are snooze-inducing or terrible (see "The English Patient"... or better yet, don't).  And sometimes a lame movie is where I find the most enjoyment.

And that brings us to "Just Wright", starring Queen Latifah and rapper Common.  This was ridiculed in the press, its got a less than 50% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and let's face it, the movie was badly acted and poorly written.  And yet, I found myself enjoying the heck out of it. 

Here's part of what I wrote on June 10th, 2010:

Anyway, the final reason I liked this film is simply... its clean. Very, very little language (a few "damns" and I think one "bull****"), no violence at all, other than aggressive play on the basketball court, and as far as sexual situations, there's one single scene where you know Leslie and Scott did the deed, but its the next morning and they are lying in bed looking at each other, completely covered by sheets. I can deem this movie completely Emmy Turnbow Safe. Its a good first date movie.

By no means spend $20 on this film, unless you are in fact on a date. At best, catch a matinee, wait for the $1 theater, or get the DVD or watch it online this summer when it will probably come out. For now, The Lovely Steph Leann will be stocking up on Common CDs.

98... The Miz Claims the Title
Hey, I'm a wrasslin' fan, and I admit it.  I ain't scurred. 

And one of my favorites is The Miz.  If you can believe it, his real name is Michael Mizanin, and he was a cast member of MTV's The Real World: New York in 2001, and then the subsequent Real World/Road Rules Challenge. 

What's also interesting is watching the evolution of The Miz in the WWE... he started more of a joke, and looking like it was possible he'd never be more than a jobber or a C-lister.  But over the last year, in large part due to a huge push, but also due to his committment and ability, The Miz has hit the big time, and is one of the headliners now. 

And this year, he won the WWE Championship by cashing in his Money in the Bank Briefcase, beating a worn down and exhausted Randy Orton, right after Randy Orton has successfully defended the title against Wade Barrett of The Nexus, and after he won, he yelled out of one of my favorite catchphrases...

"I'M THE MIZ.... AAANNNDDD IIIIII'M AWESOOOOOMMMEEEE!!!!""

Hey, I'm a wrasslin' fan, and I admit it.  I ain't scurred.

97... Lotso Huggin' Bear Comes Home
The Lovely Steph Leann went out of town on business, which took her to the coast and ended up with her at a Disney Store.  And she came back with a random surprise.

How awesome is this?

96...  SMU Pays Their Players
To celebrate 30 years, ESPN has been showcasing what they call "30 for 30"... that would be 30 documentaries, each made by a different noted director, each with their own creative control, and each telling a sports story that sometimes is famous--and sometimes is not. 

To me, the "30 for 30" has been amazing over the last year, be it the controversial games from The U of Miami in the 80s or the "where were you when" aura of OJ's White Bronco... but in my mind, the best was saved for last.  "Pony Exce$$" tells the fabled story of Southern Methodist University Mustangs football which, back in the early 80s, was a national powerhouse, including posting a 45-5-1 record from 1980 to 84.

Hall of Famer Eric Dickerson and Craig James joined Charles Waggoner to form "The Pony Express", leading SMU to a share of the national title in 1981.  All was not on the up-n-up, however, in Mustang land, as it was revealed in 1986 that for a few years previous, players were being paid from an under the table slush fund, allegations that were put on SMU after they were already on probation.



The NCAA had the power to use "the death penalty", which means barring a school from fielding a football team for a determined amount of time.  They had never used it... until they used it on Southern Methodist.  It devastated the school and the community, and SMU essentially never recovered.  In fact, it took over 20 years for the school to reach a bowl game again--a win over Nevada in The Hawai'i Bowl--and it only had a single winning season in that span up until their bowl season.

Another fallout from the decision is the thought that the NCAA will likely never use "the death penalty" again on a school because of the catastrophic effects of the decision.

All of this can be learned in "Pony Exce$$", a fascinating documentary completely worth the two hours it takes to watch it.  Look it up, DVR it, and enjoy the step back into college football history.

95... Big Al Makes An Appearance
So The Lovely Steph Leann and I are at The Magic Kingdom late last year, and are enjoying the Magic Hours, that is, late night in the park.  We are walking past Liberty Square into Frontierland, and headed to Pirates over in Adventureland, so we take that little cut through to get back there, and also to use the restroom.

We go in our respective bathrooms, and being a boy, I naturally finish first--amazing how much time can be saved by standing.  Anyway, I got out first, and who did I immediately spot standing by a tree?   Big Al.

No, Roll Tiders, not that elephant from Tuscaloosa.  Its actually none other than my favorite Country Bear from the Jamboree of the same name.  And in all the trips I've ever been to Disney World, I've never, ever seen Big Al.  And in all the trips The Lovely Steph Leann has been to Disney World, which is about a half-dozen more than me, she has never seen Big Al. 

I race over and say, "Hey Big Al!"  He turns around, waves and gives me a hug.  I text The Lovely Steph Leann and say "GET OUT HERE".  I try and stall, and ask the friendly Cast Member if she will take my picture with Big Al.  Of course she agrees, so I get my picture taken.  Finally, I spot The Lovely Steph Leann emerging from The Lovely Ladies Room, and she's looking around for me.  I call out, "The Lovely Steph Leann!  Over here!"  She turns and sees me, does a "there you are" wave with her hands, and starts ambling over. 

"Hurry!" I yell at her, and she looks confused... and then she sees Big Al.  Her face brightens, she says, "Oh!  It's Big Al!"  She races over, and we both get our picture with Big Al.  He waves, we smile, the camera snaps and Big Al is on his way. 

And it left me with a memory that was one of the coolest things of the year.

94... Hurricane Rhett Falls in Love
I gotta be careful where I tread... "The Other Guys" is a funny movie.  It's not in my Top Ten of the Year, nor is it the funniest movie I saw in 2010.  Its not nearly the best movie I saw, nor is it a movie that I own.  But according to Hurricane Rhett, it doesn't get much funnier than Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg teaming up as mismatched cops (I know, new concept, right?!) trying to catch some bad guys.

Really, the plot is not all that important... what is important is that this movie has a literally a murder's row of people I love to see in a movie... The Rock, who I have a man crush on... Samuel L. Jackson... Michael Keaton... Rob Riggle... and an incredibly priceless cameo by Derek Jeter.

This was also the film that helped me figure out what it is about Will Ferrell that everyone enjoys... he makes everyone better.  He makes everyone funnier than he is.  I think back to "Anchorman", and though Ron Burghandy is funny, Brick Tamblin, Champ Kind and Brian Fantana are funnier, feeding off of Ferrell.  In "Old School", Frank the Tank is funny, but Bernard and the Frat guys are funnier.  And taking "Talladega Nights", yes, Ricky Bobby is great.  But Reese Bobby is better, Jean Girard is snarkier and Cal Naughton?  Cal is priceless.  Oh, and Assistant Susan is smokin' hot.  Just sayin.

And in "The Other Guys", Det. Allan Gamble is funny.  But feeding off of Ferrell, Det. Hoitz (Wahlberg) is funnier, as are Danson and Highsmith and Rob Riggle's Det. Martin is absolutely hysterical, as is Damon Wayans Jr's Det. Fosse...

What was my point again?  Well, whatever.  Anyway, The Lovely Steph Leann and I saw this movie with Hurrican Rhett and his wife Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone), and THAT is the best way to see a movie... with friends that like and laugh at the same kind of movie you do.  We probably would have enjoyed it well enough, but perhaps not as much as we did with the Barnetts in tow. 

So the 94th coolest thing of 2010 is not "The Other Guys", its watching "The Other Guys" with good friends.

93... Jamie Makes a Post
"Happy Harper Stories" is a blog that I check out about once a week or so, written by a young lady who goes to Valleydale Baptist Church (an sbc fellowship, natch), and its a fun little blog about the Christ-Following life, a Christian family and so on.   But one day, she decided to write a little blog called "Biblical Submission and Worship in the Bedroom", and it was excellent. 

I've shared this on the blog already, and linked to her blog while I posted by own on a very similar subject, which you can read it--"Sex Love God and Gifts"--by clicking here and can also read the first paragraph of her post. 

Just wanted to mention it again before it gets lost in her blog and in mine, like so many excellent posts do in blogs that are updated a few times a week. 

92... Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) Goes to Ireland
To clear up a misconception, just because a movie has Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, in it does not make it a good movie.  Sometimes she can be in crap, just like anyone else.  I watched a movie called "The Last Run" starring Fred Savage, aka Kevin Arnold, and though it said "Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with" as one of the main credits, she was only featured minimally.  And, not that this has anything to do with her screen time or lack thereof, the movie was one of the worst films I've ever seen in my entire life.  I mean, bad.  Like, bad bad.  Not so bad its good, but so bad its bad bad.

To be real honest, "Psycho Beach Party" and "Cruel Intentions 2" weren't much better, and perhaps it was "Junebug" that gave her the chance to make better movie choices... either way, like any Hollywood star, even amongst tons of success, there are those "paycheck movies" (see, Cage, Nicolas, post-Leaving Las Vegas), and the movie at #92, "Leap Year", is probably in that catagory for Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with.

"Leap Year" simply tells the story of Anna Brady, a socialite who is itching to be hitching to her boyfriend Jeremy... when he has a "surprise for her", and it turns out to be something like earrings and not a ring-ring, Anna is sad.  When Jeremy goes to Ireland, Anna decides that she is going to find him, partaking of an old Irish tradition that states on a Leap Year day, February 29th, a woman may propose to a man.

But on her way to Dublin, she gets derailed in the Irish countryside by bad weather, she meets a guy she can't stand that agrees to take her to Dublin and... well, let's be honest, we aren't watching "Schindler's List" here, we all know where this is going... okay, to be fair, we knew where "Schindler's List" was going to, but thats not my point.  My point is, this isn't a movie you over-analyze.  I could tell you that Anna ends up dumping Jeremy for the Irish guy at the end, and I would not be spoiling this film for you, because you know this the moment the new guy takes the stage.

I must say, though, another star of this film besides Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and Matthew Goode is probably none other than the Irish Countryside.  The views are spectacular, the scenery is marvelous and the cameras always make sure you see a field blowing in the wind, or the cliffs with the water crashing against them, or so on and so forth.

Its a fun movie that you don't have to think about... you just let yourself have a good time with it, and if you are like me, just stare at Amy Adams when she's onscreen.  Cause she's beautiful.  And I'm in love with her.  

91... RDJ Wears the Suit (again)
There have been been few turnarounds in Hollywood that have been as huge, as monumental and as successful at the career of Robert Downey Junior.  He's gone from prison, drug use and a life spiraling into an overdose that was directing him onto a list with Heath Ledger or Brittany Murphy in the gone-too-soon department... into one amazing actor who is finally making some good choices.  Okay, okay, "The Soloist" notwithstanding... there's "Sherlock Holmes", there's "Due Date", there's "Tropic Thunder"... and of course, there's Iron Man.

And in 2010, there was Iron Man 2.  And I thought it was just splendid, if I do say so myself.   Here's what I wrote about it in June after seeing it:

...I was thrilled. The opening sequence, the introduction to The Stark Expo, Whiplash [Mickey Rourke] shows up and lashing his whips, bad accent and hair and all, Sam Rockwell being awesome like he always is, Iron Man fighting, and don't think I didn't notice the similarities between Stark's dad's plans for a futuristic community and Disney's old Epcot plan... in fact, there's a song over the ending credits called "Tomorrow Today", and it was written by the famed Sherman Brothers, the same guys who wrote "There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" for the Carousel of Progress at Walt Disney World, amongest other great Disney classics.


Speaking of the ending credits, stay til the very end. Its worth it.

And there is our first ten...

Coming up... Bosses go undercover... Helen Mirren gets violent... and later, my night eating Lebenese...

Next:  The 90th to 81st Coolest Things of 2010

Milwaukee's Best Idol

Sitting with Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone), Hurricane Rhett, JustFish and his wifey wife KellFish, the reviews are in... Idol... is pretty good.  Okay, JustFish and KellFish didn't really give an opinion, but Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) and Hurricane Rhett are digging it.  And so is The Lovely Steph Leann and so am I.

Tonight, its the third episode of Idol 2.0, with Steven Tyler, J-Lo and Randy the Dawg, and we open up with Steven and Randy doing a little freelance version of "Sweet Emotion", one of my favorite Aerosmith songs.  No joke, its a great driving song.

We're coming from Milwaukee, WI, the home of The Widower Danny Gokey... and in fact, we see The Goke himself talking to some of the crowd.

THIS IS

AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!

Scotty from Garner, NC, is up first.  He's clean cut, he's dressed to the nines, and he's 16.  If Paula Abdul was here, her room keys would be thrown at Scotty's feet.  "Your Man" by Josh Turner is his song... and I'm glad he's singing this song, because that's one of those songs that I keep hearing, but didn't know who sang it.  I'm going to download it right now.

The Lovely Steph Leann looks up at me, and says, "He's so smooth...."

At the judges request, Scotty from Garner sings "Put Some Drive in Your Country" by Travis Tritt, which makes Steven Tyler say something about getting something, get the matches, &#*$ a duck and see what hatches.  What the?

Scotty from Garner heads to Hollywood.

The Lovely Steph Leann looks up at me from under her blanket and says, "I'd listen to him on the radio..."

I just down loaded "Your Man" by Josh Turner.

Joe Repka comes up... and sometimes you can just tell this is going to be a disaster.  He's kinda tall, he's kinda frumpy, he's got a fat head, he's got a bad 'stache, he's dressed horribly... this is going to a train wreck of heavy duty proportions.   Seacrusty just talks to him like Joe actually has a chance. 

And the judges know this is going to be bad too.  He says he is 19, but he could pass for 31.   And when he says he's going to sing "The Longest Time" by Billy Joel, both The Lovely Steph Leann and I groan.  And when he actually starts singing, she grimaces, I giggle, Steven Tyler sways and J-Lo hangs her head. 

Steven Tyler says, "Do not quit your day job.  Brutally honest."  The others agree.  And Joe jumps into the classic Idol mistake of, "They hated my first song, so I'll sing something without being prompted so they will hear me sing beautifully..." and in all my years of watching Idol, I have never seen this work.

From the previous commercial break, we see a chick saying something original like, "This is my dream", while crying.  Well, now we see her and her family in an SUV, and she tells us how she was 5 when Kelly Clarkson won the first Idol (The Lovely Steph Leann whimpers, "We are so old"), and how they came from Colorado, and drove 16 hours to Milwaukee.

Emma Henry, 15, is singing "True Colors" from Cyndi Lauper... personally its one of my least favorite songs ever, but she's not doing as badly as I thought she would.  Steven Tyler says he likes her character, J-Lo says she needs to keep working on her quality, and Randy the Dawg says he's not sure that she is ready.  J-Lo says no, and she needs to work on it. Steven Tyler says yes.

"I want this so badly, music is my life..." she starts crying, cue the sad music.  Randy the Dawg says she's going to be swallowed up in this whole process.  She whimpers, and says, "I'm going to work so hard!"  Randy the Dawg relents, and Emma Henry shouts for joy as she gets her golden ticket.

My own opinion?  She's got talent, and she's pretty good... but she needs to be trained up.  She needs more work, and I think she'll be pheeeeenomonal.  The Lovely Steph Leann agrees.

Trailer for "The Roommate" comes on.  The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "I've seen that movie!"  When I look at her, bewildered she's seen a movie that hasn't been released yet, she says, "Yeah, I've seen it.  Its called 'Single White Female' with Jennifer Jason Leigh!"
And we're back, with a quick montage of people who think they can sing, but cannot sing.  ATTENTION IDOLOONIES... DO NOT AUDITION WITH LADY GAGA.   DOESN'T MATTER THE SONG, DON'T AUDITION WITH LADY GAGA'S MUSIC.  BAD, BAD, BAAAAA IDEA.  Thanks.

And now, we hear about SummerFest, a huge music festival in Milwaukee, and we meet Aduba Malukaahaa, or whatever her name is, who works ground crew at SummerFest.  And Idol will change her life.  Sometimes she cries because her music means so much to her.  Her words, not mine.

So Naiuma Arkardapoo is going to sing Donnie Hathaway, and shockingly... she's not bad.  Actually, she's pretty good.  Here I was all set to make fun of Noxema Alahyoudaoo, and here she goes and does her thing right.  And she goes to Hollywood with three yes votes. 

I look forward to not being able to spell, type or pronounce Nobooboo Arachanidco's name in the future.

Back from break!   We see a somersaulting contestant somersault straight into a cameraman and it was awesome.  Here's the montage of bad songs... including a "Jenny from the Block" take.

Jerome Bell, a bar-mitzvah singer, is singing "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.  He brings it loud, a little over the top.  I'd like to think of Song of Solomon had a soundtrack, this song would be it.  Yay God.

The judges dig Jerome's groove, and he's headed to Hollywood.

The Lovely Steph Leann:  I'd like one single year without that song being used in an audition.
Me:  I haven't heard any Mariah or Whitney so far
The Lovely Steph Leann:  I'm okay with that too.  But no more "Let's Get It On".

Seacrusty discusses the age limit being dropped to 15, partly due to the popularity of 9 year old Justin Bieber.  Thia Megea is 15, one of the many 15 year olds who have auditioned. 

"Chasing Paper" by Adele is her song.   And she's fantastic.  She sounds like she's 29 years old, and a veteran.  And she kinda sounds like a sista, too, though her look is more Hawaiia'n.... and they all say yes, so Thia is headed to Hollywood.

And every 15 year old that came in walked out with a Golden Ticket.  Steven Tyler says, "Thank God for people who can sing..."  And we see the teaser for the bad, bad singers to come.

Back from break, we see a guy named Nathaniel who is a Civil War Re-Enactor.  Was the Civil War in Wisconsin?  Was that a state in the 1860s?  No, I'm being serious.... that's a real question... Nate is in full Civil War regalia, and his dad is joining him, looking totally like a hippy.  Nate tells us, however, that dad is not a hippy.. "He's not a hippy!  Hippies have sex!"

When Nate walks in, J-Lo mutters, "oh no..."  And she was right for saying that... because "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is being slaughtered with a Civil War musket.   And the judges mock him, though Steven Tyler does it a little more discreetly.

This next guy can barely start, he's so nervous, and he ends up facing the other wall, composing himself.  He should have just walked out.  Yikes.  Neither me or the woman knows the song, but it doesn't matter, because it was gawd-awful. 

The next girl? "I am an intern at the White House and I'm in love with this president."  I now don't like this chick and will root against her completely.  She went to Harvard, so she is probably extremely book smart... but seriously?  In love with the President?   "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" is her song of choice, and she's not as bad as I want her to be.  Molly Swenson is her name, by the way.  Or I'll just call her The Idealistic Ignorant Molly.  She goes to Hollywood.

After the break, its Day Two!

Back from break, its Day Two!

The bubbly, pretty, toothy Haley Reinhart comes in, telling us this is everything she wants.  She auditioned last year, and didn't make it, so now she's back.  "Oh Darling" is her song, and I guess she got better, because she sounds great.  Steven Tyler loves her.  J-Lo loves her.  Randy the Dawg loves her.  Haley is Hollywood!

And from Chicago, its Tiwan!  He's busting out some Sam Cooke, and The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "I like him.  He needs braces.  But I do like him."  He sounds good.  They all like him, and Tiwan and his Elliott Yamean teeth head to Hollywood.

"It looks like his mouth needs, you know, three more teeth to fill in the spaces," The Lovely Steph Leann adds in.

Steve is a CPA, and is an auditor... "So I really don't have many friends," he says.  He adds, "I'm a wedding and funeral singer... weddings tend to be more fun."  And he has the humor of an auditor.  His voice is not great, but its not bad.   Both The Lovely Steph Leann and I are going back and forth on whether we like him or not...

Steven Tyler likes him.  Randy the Dawg says yes.  J-Lo says yes.  And Steve the auditor goes to Hollywood.

And here comes the girl from the teaser, when Seacrusty said, "And the judges have a showdown..."  Vernika is singing "Loving You" by Minnie Riperton, and "singing" is a stretch.  I just looked around and the glass on the front door of The Cabana just cracked. 

J-Lo tells her no, and how its not going to work.  Steven Tyler says she won't work for this show.  Vernika declares that "half'a dese peoples don't even sing good, I sing better than then half'a dese people.  Its cause I ain't skinny."  And she walks out, straight past Seacrest and the camera. 

We get a few crying chicks, including a few choice words by some, a mama who is protective of her kid (who she then tells to shut up), and a dude who drops his own words. 

Back from break, we get Albert Rogers III, who thinks he sounds like Usher, Ruuuuuben Studdard and Luther Vandross.  He's going to sing "Stand By Me", and J-Lo starts to giggle.  She knows what's coming.  And its a disaster.  Albert Part III is trying way, way too hard... and he gets a no from the judges.

Scott Dangerfield comes out, a 22 year old student teacher in shorts, a long sleeve button and square glasses.  He's going to sing "Dreamin'" by Amos Lee.  And right out'ta gate, Scott throws down and does it right.  J-Lo says, "You might just be my favorite so far." All the judges say YES enthusiastically.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I wasn't expecting that... and he kinda has a Jodie Foster look about him."

Back from Break!

And now we see one of the Green Bay Packers biggest fans ever.  Or so she says.  She loves the Green-n-Gold... her name is Megan Frasier, 20, and yells "Go Pack Go!" to the judges.  She's going to sing "Baby" by The Beebs, and its atrocious.  The judges all yell, "NO!" at the same time.

Alyson Jados is shown in tears when Steven Tyler came through the crowd early in the day.  And now, she goes to meet the judges, Steven Tyler included, who gives her a giggly-inducing hug.  She's going to sing "Come Together" and gives it that rocker edge, sort of a Allison Iraheta tone. 

She continues with "Dream On", though she admits she can't hit that last note, which Steven Tyler fills in.  He then tells her she's very pitchy, J-Lo tells her she's got a good quality, and Randy the Dawg says he doesn't think she's ready.  J-Lo says yes.  Now, its up to Steven Tyler to determine a yes or no.  Of course, he says yes. 

And now we get one last guy, which is our Sob Story (always disguised by the phrase, "his incredible journey") of the night.  Chris Medina is 26, from Chicago.  He's engaged to be married, and she works at a Starbucks!  She was recently in an accident, and she has a traumatic brain injury... and in a month or so, she woke up, with severe movement disabilities. 

"Break Even" by The Script is his song, and he slows it down to a bluesy kinda of jam.  Snapping fingers, he belts it out, and sounds great.  The judges ask to meet his girlfriend, and they wheel her in to meet the judges.  They shower her with hugs, kisses and love, and its probably one of the most sincere moments I've ever seen on Idol. 

You wouldn't see that with Simon. 

Milwaukee puts forth 53 contestants to Hollywood, out of the 1000s that showed up... and tomorrow night, its Nashville!