the 2014 golden globe recap

I love major award shows, especially when it comes to movies... okay, well, I don't watch the Directors Guild or the Producers Guild or the People's Choice or the Independent Spirit or the Palme D'or or the BET Awards or the Soul Glo Awards or the Latin Grammy show or whatever else... but I DO watch The Golden Globes and The Academy Awards.

In years past, I would live blog, tossing up thoughts, jokes, tweets and so on every few minutes.  But since we've had Campbell Isaiah, "live blogging" has a been a little more difficult.  It's not that The Lovely Steph Leann is opposed to it--in fact, she rather enjoys reading it the next day, and even while I'm blogging, she's made many a joke that has ended up in the published post.

No, Campbell has bathtime in the middle of the evening, and then he goes down for bedtime.  While The Lovely Steph Leann does the bath and bedtime, I will prep the room for his bedtime, get his PJ's laid out, then get some of my things gathered for the next day and so on.  However, I'm usually finished before he is asleep, so when we watch a live program like the Golden Globes, she asks me to pause it, so we can pick back up where we left off when she comes back downstairs.

And in the age of social media, to keep pace, it's harder to push pause--because the winners are revealed, the moments are tweeted and posted on Facebook, the pictures are on Instagram and so on... it's easy to say "Oh, then just don't look at social media until its over!" but that's hard to do when you yourself are live tweeting.

So, no live blog this year, but instead, a few highlights of the show...

• Best joke of the night went Tina Fey & Amy Poehler, after they rattle off a list of accomplishments from Amal, George Clooney's new bride, and then say, "And tonight, we give her husband a lifetime achievement award."
• Tina & Amy then went on to burn Bill Cosby while discussing the movie "Into the Woods", saying that, ''Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby.''
• Both then do an odd Bill Cosby impersonation all about "putting the pills in the people."  The audience, in an awkward, but laughing, state, gasped then laughed more.  Personally, I thought the Sleeping Beauty line was gold, but putting pills/people schtick just wasn't that funny.  Not because of the subject, just because it wasn't that funny.
• I do love me some Tina Fey, though.  Man she's gorgeous.
• Jennifer Aniston was nominated as Best Actress in a movie called "Cake".  What the heck is "Cake"?  I don't know anyone who has actually heard of this film.
• Margaret Cho came out dressed as a North Korean high ranking soldier, taking a picture with Meryl Streep, only to be photobombed by Benedict Cumberbatch.
• Gina Rodriguez won for the CW show "Jane the Virgin".  Who?  What show?  Huh? 
• Jeffrey Tambor, veteran actor, won an award for a transgender character on the Amazon show transparency. 
• Ruth Wilson won an award for the Showtime show "The Affair".
• Essentially, alternative lifestyles and open marriages are the new hotness.  Straight people and committed relationships? Not so much.
• Prince showed up.  Like the singer.  I can't say that I've ever heard him talk, and yet, there he was, simply saying, "Here are the nominees for Best Original Song"
• Allison Janney, in the audience, was one of several who went a little batnuts crazy.
• Oh, and Prince had a cane.  He didn't use it, he didn't walk with it, he just brought it with him. #BecauseHeIsPrince
• Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader, two normally very funny people, came out and did a bit where they recited lines from classic films, only the actually just made up the lines.  Many people felt this was the funniest non-Tina & Amy moment of the night.  Again... I just didn't think it was that funny.
• George Clooney got the Cecil B DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award tonight.  It's so weird, because Jodie Foster got it a few years back at a then-age 50, while Clooney is 53. It's only weird because again, I grew up watching Clooney as he started his career on Facts of Life and "Return of the Killer Tomatoes".  Interestingly enough, those are two pieces of work that were not shown on his highlight reel.
• This award is supposed to go to old people like Kirk Douglas and Cecily Tyson and Burt Lancaster (Kirk won it in '68, by the way), not to young folks like Clooney or Robin Williams (recepient in 2005) or Michael Douglas (got it in 2004) or Spielberg (2009). Sigh. I'm old.
• Michael Keaton had a great speech, winning the award for "Birdman"... but I also liked Billy Bob Thornton's speech, simply saying that you can get in trouble for saying just about anything so "I'll just say 'thank you'".
• Have you seen "Birdman"?  The movies is great, but the movie as a whole is outshone by a combo of brilliant performances from Keaton, Emma Stone, Zack Galafinikas, Naomi Watts and definitely Edward Norton.
• When Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) won an unexpected award for "Big Eyes", I tweeted the following:  AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS.  My Timehop app posted a tweet this morning from last year, apparently when she won an award for "American Hustle".  I tweeted the following last year when she won:  AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS.  Good to know my feelings are the same.
• Everyone freaked out with Prince and John Legend both being out.  No one is talking about the fact that rapper Common... COMMON... has a Golden Globe.  It's like when Three 6 Mafia won the Oscar over U2 with "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp". 
• Colin Firth came onstage.  Be still The Lovely Steph Leann's beating heart.  I think if he, Robert Downey Jr and Hugh Jackman ever starred in a movie together, she'd camp out for tickets--and she doesn't camp for anything.
• There is a transparent NBC logo in the left bottom corner.  Everyone, mostly chicks, that wear sleeveless dresses or tops end up looking like they have a faded peacock tattoo on their arm.
• Did NOT see that award for Best Animated Film coming.  "How to Train your Dragon 2" not only beat out Disney's latest, "Big Hero 6", but the heavily favored "The LEGO Movie".  I haven't seen Dragon 2, but I can already tell you it likely won't equal Baymax and Hiro's adventures, and will not be better than LEGO. 

And finally... here are my favorite tweets from the night...

"It makes me sad that a cummerbund company hasn't sponsored Benedict Cumberbatch's tuxedo for award shows yet. #GoldenGlobes" -- @jonacuff

"You can easily recreate Kerry Washington's dress with a little duct tape and a whole bunch of Capri Sun pouches. #DIY #GoldenGlobes" -- @JennaKimJones, as Kerry Washington literally shimmers onstage

"The clothes that 80s movies predicted we'd be wearing 2015... only Prince was listening. #GoldenGlobes" -- @RemodelingClay, on Prince's big appearance

"Prince you are making doves cry with that outfit. #GoldenGlobes" -- @LauraLeighC, on Prince's crazy outfit

"In the Globes control booth: 'Thank you Gambit. Iron Man, you're on!' #GoldenGlobes" -- @RottenTomatoes, as Channing Tatum introduced Robert Downey Jr

"Everytime Meryl Streep loses an award, her horcruxes grow stronger." -- @YrBFF, after she lost again.

"The Golden Globes should be, 'We all get paid because of superhero movies. Good night. Drive safely, everyone.'" -- @pourmecoffee

"The #GoldenGlobes folks use the word 'courage' a lot.  Glad I saw the #60Mins piece on Iraq/Afghan war amputees first." -- @IngrahamAngle

"If Oprah cries when you speak you automatically go to Heaven." -- @samir

"All these men get to throw on a tux over their winter fat.  These poor women haven't eaten in 35 days.  Life is unfair. #GoldenGlobes" -- @JenHatmaker

"So everything is NOT awesome?" -- @daltonross, when "The LEGO Movie" lost Animated Feature.

"Do you think if I use the Loreal shade that is 100% Puerto Rican that I can look like J.Lo? #GoldenGlobes" -- @jamiesrabbits

"I just got to second base with J-Lo's dress. #GoldenGlobes" -- @jenhatmaker

"Apparently it's 'Bring your tatas to work" night at the #goldenglobes. #AllTheGlobes" -- @IAmAmyLatta

 And my absolute favorite of the night...

@dawn_o_mite tweeted: "I often think Jessica Chastain has the career that Bryce Dallas Howard was expected to have 10 years ago."   That made me laugh long and heartily.

Ladies & gents, there are your 2015 Golden Globes. 

the 2014 golden globes running diary

FIRST... Blogger has taken a dive.. the formatting is horrible, there are triple spaces all of a sudden, and its a clusterpoop. Plus, pictures cannot be uploaded. Which sucks. So please bear with me as I do my thing...

Welcome to the 2014 Golden Globes! Every year, I like to "live blog" three events--The Golden Globes, the Super Bowl and the Academy Awards... time for jokes, time for recaps, predictions, and so on...

In tow are Campbell Isaiah, wreaking havoc throughout the homeland, be it pulling diapers out of a box and tossing them, or attempting to slap the tv over the Great Wall of Campbell fence we've put up around the room... and The Lovely Steph Leann, on the couch, ready to offer her wisdom, her wit, her incredible insight... like these gems, dished out during the red carpet show:

"Jennifer Lawerence's dress is not good. Its white, but its too dark."
"Paula Patton is not attractive."
"What is Julia Roberts wearing?! That's horrible!" (the interviewer compliments Julia on how great the dress is) "Its not great! It's hideous!"

That's right. All of this and more over the next few hours... if you want to keep up, I'll be putting new updates at the bottom, so you'll need to scroll.

655p... Amy Adams is here. Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with. 

655p... I comment about how much taller Tracy Pollen is than her husband, Michael J. Fox. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Its probably due to her heels and his condition." 

Thanks for keeping it real. There goes the jokes.

7p... Its the 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards! Campbell Isaiah just pooped, and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler take the stage for hosting duties! Doody. Ha!!

7p... Tina: Tina & Amy's Lee Daniels' The Butler's Golden Globe Awards!

702p... And here comes the zingers to the stars... the part that people love...

702p... Matt Damon is here, from "Behind the Candelabra", a movie so gay, RuPaul watched it and said, "That's a bit much..."

704p... Tina: The original title of American Hustle was "Explosion at the Wig Factory"... if you have seen that movie, you'll laugh heartily.

705p... Julia Louis-Dreyfus, sucking on a Blu e-cig...

706p... The house just blew up at Tina saying: Gravity... a movie that shows you that George Clooney would rather float into space than spend one more minute than a woman his own age... (camera pans for George, who is obviously not there)

707p... Movies that used prosthetic genitals: Wolf of Wall Street... Saving Mr. Banks... (Tom Hanks laughs uncomfortably with a "what the...?" look on his face)

709... Just a side note, Tina Fey looks better than she ever has at this exact moment. Ravishing.

FIRST AWARD OF THE NIGHT

710P... Sandy Bullock and Tom Hanks come up to give out the first award of the night... Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture... the Golden Globe goes to Jennifer Lawrence in American Hustle!!

711p... Jen Lawrence is going to become our Meryl Streep of the next generation. I call it now

713p... Jen Lawrence gives a sweet, nerve filled speech... why is she so nervous?  She knew this might happen. A 1 in 5 chance!  And now..

713p... Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum for Best Supporting Actress for TV Movie/Series... which features a bunch of chicks in shows I've never seen...

714p... Jacqueline Bisset wins as the Globes go old school... for a movie I've never heard of. 

716p... Bisset not only gets lost on stage, but takes several seconds to fight back tears to give her speech... The Lovely Steph Leann: She's gonna make me cry! (and she wipes her eyes)

717p... This is one of those speeches where the conductor says, "Hey... give her a few extra seconds before you play her off..." Especially when the audio goes out, while Bisset uses some choice words... standing ovation from the audience. Band moved beyond slow music, to commercial bumper music

722p... Glad Jennifer Lawrence didn't fall up the steps this year... that would seem somewhat staged

722p... Mark Ruffalo and Naomi Watts are out for Best TV Movie or Mini-Series. In Gay Hollywood, do you think Behind the Candelabra would NOT win? 

724p... Its everything Hollywood loves. Two great actors portraying gay men daring to show gay sex on screen. 

725p... Good thing is, this is the last award show that Behind will be nominated for... so now I never, ever have to see it. We can put it...behind us.

726p... Elisabeth Moss wins for Best Actress in a Movie or Mini Series in "Top of the Lake", whatever the heck that was... audio goes out as Liz Moss mouths "Oh s***"

728p... Can no one give a speech? Everybody is all nervous... I mean, If I was cast as "pool boy" in "Little Man 2", I would still practice my award speech, on the off chance, just in case...

728p... Matt Damon comes out to introduce "Captain Phillips", which I'm hearing is fantastic...

730p... Do we think the Somali actors will end up like the Mexican crewman at the end of "Bowfinger"?


734p... Its not a party unless the Hollywood Foreign Press President comes out and makes his speech...


736p... Jonah Hill and the hot chick from "The Wolf of Wall Street" come out to introduce their movie, but have a blank stare, because, as Jonah says, "No joke, the teleprompter says Aaron Eckhart and Paula Patton... this is not our stuff..."

737p... In other news, Hollywood producers are looking for a new teleprompter operator

738p... Here comes Aaron and Paula (The Lovely Steph Leann: Yep. Her dress is so terrible). Best Actor TV Drama award is up. "Breaking Bad" had a huge final episode that was much loved and watched... so how you could vote against Bryan Cranston

740p... So, I've worked a teleprompter, in loading, operation and scrolling... its not that hard.

741p... Best TV Series Drama...Breaking Bad. 

747p... John C. Reilly is narrating a TurboTax commercial. If Morgan Freeman isn't available to narrate my funeral, consider JCR.

748p... Steve Coogan and Philomena Lee... spelling? She's the actual person that the Dame Judy Dench played in "Philomena". Another nominee for Best Picture, Drama.

749p... Usher! Kate Beckensale! Diddy! Best Score in a Motion Picture. "All Is Lost" wins the award, which might be its only trophy tonight...

751p... What you didn't hear: Diddy whispering to the winner "Hey, I'm sampling all your stuff, I refuse to write my own."

753p... Usher, Diddy and Kate for Best Song... can we just say we ALL want Let it Go to win?

754p... Bono is the only one who can beat Let It Go... and I'm still not even sure what movie this is from.

The Lovely Steph Leann: I saw The Edge. I knew they were up for something.


Hearing The Lovely Steph Leann just talking about The Edge makes me laugh.

755p... Mandela + Mandela's death + Bono = Hollywood has to vote for them.

WITHOUT PICTURES, ITS NOT THE SAME... BLOGGER YOU SUCK RIGHT NOW. THANK YOU. END RANT.

802p... Amber Heard, her 9 inch high hair, and two dudes... Best Supporting Actor MiniSeries/Movie/Series... And Jon Voight gets the award for his part in Ray Donovan.

804p... Ray Donovan makes about 4,988 shows mentioned tonight that I've never seen.

804p... Olivia Wilde comes out to present "Her", a nominee for Best Picture Comedy/Musical.

806p... Robert Downey Jr comes on stage.

806p... In unrelated news, The Lovely Steph Leann just started paying even more attention. Best Actress Comedy Musical... Winner?

I LOVE AMY ADAMS I LOVE AMY ADAMS I LOVE AMY ADAMS

Okay, I'm good.

807p... Amy Adams is my Hollywood Girlfriend. We're pretty serious. We double with The Lovely Steph Leann and Colin Firth sometimes.

814p... Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick! Kevin: We were wrangling for someone here we were connected to....

816p... Best Actress TV Drama goes to... Robin Wright, House of Cards!

818p... GASP from The Lovely Steph Leann. I look up. She says, "The tape on Robin's boob was showing!!" Then she gets up to peel Campbell Isaiah from scaling the vacuum cleaner and licking the brush. She's so multi-talented.

819p... Jim Carrey comes out now, probably not to present Kick A** 2. He was actually funnier here than his last four films combined.  (his last 4 films:  KA2... The Incredible Burt Wonderstone... Mr. Popper's Penguins... A Christmas Carol... I rest my case)

821p... Best Supporting Actor Motion Picture, presented by Christoph Waltz... and Gay Hollywood strikes again, giving it to Jared Leto, for his portrayal of a cross dressing transgender in Dallas Buyers Club. 
823p... The Lovely Steph Leann: He was in My So Called Life. That's all I got.

826p... Applebees wants me to not only send pics of myself dancing to their food, but #BeeFamous. Um. No. You are not that cool, Applebees.

827p... Emma Thompson takes the stage... carrying her drink and her shoes... ha! Nominees for Best Screenplay... and the winner is... Spike Jonze for "Her"... and I'm happy about that... that's easily the most original story of the year.

830p... Spike Jonze, the new hubby on the couch in Moneyball, when Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) is visiting his ex (Robin Wright)

831p... Laura Dern is out now to present the film her dad, Bruce, is in, "Nebraska"... its in black and white, and I've heard its unbelievably good, with Will Forte just as good as Bruce Dern.

833p... Julie Bowen and Seth Myers out to give out Best Actor TV Series Comedy/Musical... and winner? I just said "It would be awesome to see Andy Samberg get a Golden Globe..." AND HE DOES

834p... This is Golden Globes way of saying "Suck it Oscar. Give your award to some old guy... Andy Samberg gets our award..."

837p... Muppets Most Wanted just showed one of the best, most timely trailers I've ever seen.

840p... Zoe Saldana and Orlando Bloom. Best Foreign Film. Some movie I've never heard of, will never see and will forget about as soon as this show is over just won.

843p... Banter between Tina Fey, Amy and Julia Louis-Dreyfus is very funny...

845p... Jimmy Fallon and Melissa McCarthy out, being funny... Best Actor in TV Movie/Mini Series.

846p... Michael Douglas, for Behind the Candelabra. Gay always wins.

852p... Chris Pine and Hermione Granger... Let's give this to Frozen and be done with it. The winner is? Frozen. As it should be.

854p... Colin Farrell comes out, and could be drunk. Actually, I'm shocked that he's not. Here's "Inside Llewyn Davis"

855p... Best Actress TV Series Comedy... They show Lena Dunham. She is dressed. I'm shocked again. Winner? Amy Poehler for Parks & Rec... and she makes out with Bono before she hits the stage.

858p... My friend Mikey would have done the same thing

902p... Emma Stone, who has a huge range of "Not so much" to "Ohmahgah she's beautiful"... thankfully, its the latter tonight.

903p... Woody Allen gets the Cecil B. DeMille Award for Being A Famous Guy. I've never been a Woody Allen fan. Time to give Campbell Isaiah a bath.

912p... If you are too pompous to show up for an award because you think they are silly or you are too good for them, then you don't get an award. Woody Allen is a wanker.


915p... Liam Neeson is out... "I have a special set of skills that allows me to present Gravity..."

916p... Ben Affleck is out now for Best Director... a tough year, too... winner is.... Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity... probably a make-do for not winning it for Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban

917p... Tina Fey digs on Michael Bay, then invites Uma Thurman and Chris Evans out for Best TV Series Comedy... Brooklyn Nine Nine, the Andy Samberg led series. Never seen it, but I like this award!

924p... Commercial  now for "Chicago PD", a new show on ABC.... a character just uttered the line "we do things my way..." At least they are original.

926p... Jennifer Lawrence for Best Actor in Comedy/Musical... and the winner is Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street... wow. WOW. Did not see that coming... and now it makes me wonder what his Oscar chances will look like from here on out...

929p... Reese Witherspoon comes out to present "12 Years a Slave". I'm afraid to make any jokes here.

BLOGGER YOU STILL SUCK JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT BLOGGER MORE LIKE... SLOGGER HAHA END RANT

935p... Chris Hemworth, AKA, Thor, and an old guy who drove cars in races come out, obviously to introduce "Rush", which is strange to me, because the Hollywood Foreign Press might be the only people who actually liked "Rush"

936p... Or have actually seen more than a few minutes of "Brooklyn Nine Nine"

937p... Drew Barrymore, my first "favorite bad girl" from the early 90s... she's here to hand out Beset Musical/Comedy... If American Hustle or Her took this, I wouldn't be sad... though I vote for the former, as it would have a better shot at winning the Oscar...

938p... American Hustle! Hustle! HUSTLE!

938p... Is this the first Best Picture for Comedy or Musical winner that is neither a Comedy or a Musical?

944p... Why can't Tina Fey and Amy Poehler just give out all the awards... and the screen just went black? Did someone do something bad when Leo DiCaprio came out?

945p... Best Actress Movie Drama... the winner is... Cate Blanchett for "Blue Jasmine"... its a Woody Allen film, but I've heard its one of his best in decades...

946p... When Tina Fey made that joke about a supermodel's vajayjay, did it break NBC? Did anyone else see that?

948p... Jessica Chastain comes out... perhaps the most beautiful looking of the night (besides Amy Adams, natch)... Best Actor Movie Drama

949p... Matthew McConaughy gets the award for Dallas Buyers Club! Dave Wooderson got a Golden Globe!! 

956p... The star of "Transcendence"! Johnny Depp! (not the star of The Lone Ranger, huh?) Best Motion Picture Drama... and the winner is... not Johnny Depp, who looks like he Does.not.want.to.be.there...

957p... 12 Years a Slave wins the award for Best Picture. Not seen it, but I do want to. It strikes me as the kind of movie that I'll see once and never again. Like Passion of the Christ, or Blackhawk Down or Friday After Next. Just too powerful to get through twice.

10p... Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Scarlett Johanssen as Samantha in Her should just be hosts for everything.

10p... And, that's all she wrote... thanks to everyone who paid attention, who checked back, and who kept reading... onto the Oscars!

(ps.. I will totally fix this formatting later...)
(11,335 words so far... 8,665 words left for #20KWordsinJan)

the 2013 golden globes running diary

If I suddenly disappear for a few, its because (a) my internet went out due to rain... (b) my internet went out because my internet blows... (c) the satellite went out... (d) both a and b... (e) both A and C... (f) both A, B, C, D and E... just a warning...

7p...And here we are... Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are onstage, kicking things off... shots at Ricky Gervais and those movies "that have only been in theater for 2 days"...

705p... Amy nods to Kathryn Bigelow, director of "Zero Dark Thirty", saying "I would take advice about torture from a woman who was married to James Cameron..." drawing a huge laugh and a huge "whoa!' from the crowd.

706p... The Satellite just went out.  Again.

710p... Still out.  Who won? 

710p... Thanks to Twitter, I learned the Christoph Waltz won best Supporting Actor in a Movie for "Django Unchained."

712p... Satellite still out.

719p... And the show comes back on, with Eva Longoria and Don Cheadle onscreen, giving out some award for Mini-Series or Movie... and the winner is "GameChange".  A brilliant, film, by the way... and this is someone who is a staunch conservative.

719p... Apparently, Professor McGonagall won for "Downton Abbey" a few minutes ago.  I think.  Stupid rain.

720p... And its off... and its on... and the satellite is off... and its on... and its off... and its...

720p... Off.

720p... At least we got to see a speech by the husband of the lead singer of the Bangles. 

730p... Still off.  Seriously.  One of my favorite nights, where I get to blog and make fun, and nothing. 

And... turns out I've been hit with some sort of malware called Scour.  And my Norton didn't find it. 

732p... Here we go again!

What did we miss?  A Les Mis montage. 

Now we have the always awesome Paul Rudd and the sometimes cool Salma Hayek for Best Actor in a TV Series.  "Homeland" won a ton of these acting awards at the Emmys, and so, Damien Lewis picks it up for the same show.

734p... And so begins a Homeland lovefest.  Perhaps I should see this show at some point.

Teleprompter screw up?  No problem.  Paul Rudd is here.

735p... Paul Rudd and Salma have an awkward moment before giving the Best TV Drama to Homeland.

The Lovely Steph Leann:  Seriously?  Homeland?  The Newsroom is so much better.  (I tend to agree)  But, Claire Danes looks good after just having a kid.

737p... Apparently, the teleprompter screwed up.  Paul Rudd needs to host every teleprompter breakdown.

742p... After a quick commercial break, we get a clip from the nominated film Argo, which is a great film that you should see right now.

744p... Best Score now, with Jennifer Lopez and Jason Statham are out to give the award.   And the award goes to... Homeland!

745p... Just kidding.  Life of Pi.

745p... The Lovely Steph Leann:  Really?!  Now the Life of Pi love begins... crap.

747p... Best Original Song!  Music from Skyfall... The Hunger Games... Act of Valor... some Pacino/Walken film... and Les Miserables... and the winner is? 

749p... Adele be Rollin in the Deep, with the Skyfall win.  Movie wasn't that great.  Neither was the song.  Let's be real, here.

750p... I think Life of Pi will win 3.14 awards tonight.

801p... Due to the fact I have some crappy malware on the computer, I had to do a re-start on the computer.  Good times.  So, we are about 8 minutes behind, which hopefully we will catch up on during commercials

802p... Campbell just smashed his foot in the baby gate.  Cause he's a genius.

803p... So, Kevin Costner just won for Hatfields & McCoys... he's actually giving a better acting performance right now than he does in most of his movies.

806p... Bill Clinton?  Really?

807p... Hollywood Libs are going nuts right now.  He'd still be president if they coulda changed that stupid Constitution... though... I wonder what would happen if Obama and Bill ran against each other?   The first black president AND Obama?  Wow... 

809p... Will Ferrill and Kristen Wiig come out together.  Can they host next year?!  That would be awesome too!

809p... Best Comedy/Musical Actress award...

810p... I've never used these words before but.. Kristin Wiig is friggin' hot.  Just sayin.

811p... Will and Kristin are cracking me the heck up...

This was Tommy Lee Jones.  He's actually laughing here.

812p... They just showed a stone faced Tommy Lee Jones... I think that was him laughing.

813p... Jennifer Lawrence won!!  Taylor Swift gave her a standing O... and J-Law says, "What does this say?!  I beat Meryl [Streep]!!" then follows it up with "Harvey [Weinstein], thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here..."

816p... Best Supporting Actor TV Series/Movie/Mini-Series...

816p... John Krasinski is with Kristen Bell to give the award to... Ed Harris for GameChange.  I dig it.  I kinda think that John Krasinski is a possible entry into The Colin Firth Club for The Lovely Steph Leann.  He's a good dude.

817p... Jamie Foxx out to discuss "Django Unchained"

818p... And now, Jonah Hill and Megan Fox... a mismatch of epic proportions.  Awkward banter.

819p... Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture... Amy Adams is nominated.  I'm in love with her, I don't care, I'll admit it.  But?  Anne Hathaway wins this easily. 

I just won a Golden Globe?  And am probably headed for Oscar
gold?  Shut!  Up! 

819p... Princess Mia won!!!  Hope she saves room for the Academy Award on the shelf.

821p... She even references Genovia!  Winning!!! 

822p... Caught up to Live TV!

823p... Amanda Seyfried with the cute, weird eyes and Edward the Gay Vampire are out for the Screenplay Award.

824p... Tarantino won!?!  "I wasn't expecting this!" he says.  Neither was anyone else in that room, QT.

Favorite Tweets of the night so far: 
@bradlatta... Anne Hathaway is the cutest boy in Hollywood
@MissMovies... Three words:  JLaw boob shelf
@pourmecoffee... Taylor Swift is so sad in losing to Adele she's going home and listening to Adele
@JamiesRabbits... I feel like Jennifer Lopez only checks her rearview mirror before going out

826p... Jeremy Irons being very Jeremy Ironsy...

827p... I prefer Will and Kristin's description of Salmon in Yemen

827p... Lucy Liu and Debra Messing is out for Best Actor in a TV Comedy Series... Don Cheadle for House of Lies.

833p... Sly and Arnold are giving out Best Foreign Film.  Is it usual to have the presenters speak a foreign language?  "Amour" from Austria wins... and I think this is where it picks up steam to steal a major award Oscar in a month. 

@JamiesRabbits:  I feel like Sylvester Stallone being in a movie called "A Bullet to the Head" is a bit redundant

836p... Nathan Fillion and Lea Michele come out for Best TV Actress Drama... Excuse me, Nathan Fillion, Lea Michele and Lea Michele's overbite.  The winner is... Claire Danes, for Homeland.

I knew that, by the way.

844p... Sacha Baron Cohen is out, holding his wine, and acting like Sacha Baron Cohen, which is a bit refreshing, because in Les Miz, he was very Un-Sacha-like.   And being fairly funny.  Best Animated Film.

846p... At least he's not hiding his drinking.  "Brave" wins, from the category of Foregone Conclusion.

848p... I wonder if Liev Schriber looks at Hugh Jackman, thinks about "Wolverine" and wonders how it all went wrong.

850p... Aziz Ansari and Jason Bateman makes a Downton Abby weed joke that everyone laughs at, except for the Downton Abby table.

851p... Lena Dunham wins the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Comedy series.  I think that she is an actreZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

859p... We've seen far too little of Amy and Tina tonight...

859p... The Lovely Steph Leann's knees wobble again, as Robert Downey Jr comes onstage. 

901p... Jodie Foster is getting the Cecil DeMille Award for lifetime achievement?  I'm sorry... wha...???

902p... I'm confused... wasn't she just in "The Silence of the Lambs like, 3 years ago?

905p... "Nell"... "Sommersby"... "Nim's Island"... "Little Man Tate"... thank you Jodie Foster for your great body of work. 

906p... Taaaaay.... in da wiiiinnn.....

908p... I'm not positive... but Jodie Foster might've been drinking.  Just a bit.

908p... Real subtle cut to Jane Lynch

909p... I'm not even sure what Jodie Foster is talking about.  And I'm not sure if the audience knows it either.

911p... I really hope there is a written version of this speech somewhere online, so I can re-read this and start to decipher what just happened.  I feel like Jodie's therapist.

916p... Back from commercial... Halle Berry... Best Director

The Lovely Steph Leann:  Her dress is so bizarre!  Her boob is hanging out all weird!

917p... Ben Affleck just won Best Director for Argo... an award he wasn't even nominated for in the Academy Awards this year.  This is awesome!

919p... Josh Brolin is out to discuss "Moonrise Kingdom"... a movie I'm halfway through at this point.  Looking forward to finishing it after the awards.

@JamiesRabbits:  Ben Affleck.  We can now forget Gigli.  (I agree)

921p... Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon out to give Best TV Series Comedy/Musical... the award goes to Girls on HBO. 

922p... I should feel happy for a success story like Lena Dunham but... I just don't.

@BradJLatta:  Girls, on the other hand, doesn't sound like a show I'm ever going to watch

927p... Lena Dunham drops a Chad Lowe reference... and finally, he gets thanked for Hilary Swank's Oscar win!  Only took a decade.

@JamiesRabbits:  Chad Lowe SHOULD be namedropped.  All the time.  As my co-workers will learn this week.
Random online comment:  Girls.  The most awesome uncomfortable show ever.

Its 930, and they are about to race through the rest of these awards like a boss.

929p... Christian Bale comes out, not hitting anyone, but to give accolades to"Silver Linings Playbook".  Really want to see this film.

930p... From the category of "About time...", I really like "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers. 

931p... Jennifer Garner comes out to give Best Actor in Comedy/Musical... Hugh Jackman just won for Les Miserables.

933p... The Lovely Steph Leann is wobbly and weak. 

934p... And yes, I'm happy he won this.  He may not win the Oscar for it, but since Actor is divided up into Comedy/Musical and Drama, then he and Danie Day-Lewis can both win.  Tonight. Not on Oscar night.

938p... Jeremy Renner... straight from The Artist?  He's out to review Best Drama Movie

939p... Dustin Hoffman, director of Quartet, a movie that no one has ever heard of.   Not you, not me.  Don't jive.

940p... Best Comedy/Musical... and the winner is Les Miserables...

The Lovely Steph Leann:  Oh listen.  They are playing the song that they left off the soundtrack.  Which is the theme of the whole movie, right?  What the heck?

@BradJLatta:  Who's that boy groping Amanda Seyfried?
@michaelanipp:  Probably Michael J. Fox's son
@davedollar:  Just keep Taylor Swift away from him!  And her!
@bradjlatta: Turns out it was just Anne Hathaway

And there's this:

@JamiesRabbits:  Is it wrong to wish fatal bodily harm to Mrs. Hugh Jackman so he can grieve and then meet me at a Chick-fil-A?
@davedollar:  My wife would beat you to that Cool Wrap luncheon, I promise.
@JamiesRabbits:  Sister Wives!!

947p... George Clooney is out to give Best Actress to Drama... Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty.  I almost feel like there are several locks for this year's Oscars... and Jess Chastain is one of them.

950p... And in the other lock, Best Actor for Drama... Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln.  Clooney just spits that out there like "yeah, we all know this..."

@Dougbenson:  Meryl couldn't be here because she has Streep Throat.  Goodnight!

955p...  You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.

955p... I feel like if I could have pulled that Last of the Mohicans line off successfully, I would have gotten more dates.  Just sayin'

@DanWolken:  Being in an award category with Daniel Day Lewis is like coaching against Saban in a championship game

958p... Julia Roberts sighting...

958p... Argo wins Best Picture at the Golden Globes.  Now, this throws the entire Best Picture race into all kinds of a tizzy.

959p... Argo fu.... wait a minute...

So... thats it.  Its 10pm, Campbell Isaiah is screaming his fool head off, we had too little Tina & Amy, we're all tired, my Google search doesn't work and so on and so forth. 

The 68th Annual Golden Globes

This is a week late, but I did want to post it finally... our computer was down until mid-week, and because American Idol came on, I never got it up.  So, here is the running diary of the Golden Globes...

So, this is being typed on a Word Document, while nibbling on some Papa John’s. The lovely Steph Leann is on the other couch, also nibbling on pizza, and we are set to watch the whateverth annual Golden Globes Awards… 68th, as Ricky Gervais just said!

7p… Ricky Gervais is out, and onto his monologue, which is usually all about the celebrities, with zingers and jabs tossed freely. First up, Charlie Sheen, of course. And now its onto “The Tourist”, insulting it, as Johnny Depp looks on from the audience. Next to “Sex in the City 2”, and then to gay Scientologists (I can only assume he is jabbing Tom Cruise and John Travolta)… yeah!

705p… The first award, presented by Scarlett Johansson!  I’m not a ScarJo loyalist, but she looks great tonight. The award is Supporting Actor in a Movie. Noms including Chrisitan Bale, Edward Garfield, Geoffrey Rush, Mike Douglas and someon else I didn't catch before the winner was announced.

The winner is? Christian Bale for “The Fighter”… this is the first award out of many he’s going to get from now until Oscar season, when he wins the Supporting Oscar actor. Its weird hearing him talking in his regular British accent, cause I’m so used to hearing him be deep and throaty Bruce Wayne, and loud and obnoxious in The Fighter. It also stars Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with.

709p… Here’s LL Cool J and Julie Bowen for lead actress in a TV Drama. And the winner? Katie Segal for “Sons of Anarchy”. Never seen the show, but I’ve heard its intense, awesome and manly. Camera cuts to Ed O’Neill who is clapping and smiling for Katie’s win. Very cool.

716p… And now here’s Julianne Moore and Kevin Spacey… Julianne has a horrible dress, and likely no bra. Shame. Best TV Movie/Mini-Series. The Pacific is nominated and I’m guessing its going to win.. though “Temple Grandin” is also nominated. Tough. And the winner? “Carlos” wins, whatever the heck that is.

While the Hispanic director is talking in the broken English, I’ll point out that every year, the person who helps present the awards is called “Miss Golden Globe”, and it’s a chick who is the daughter of a prominent actor or actress. This year’s Miss Golden Globe is Gia Mantegna, who is the daughter of actor Joe Mantegna… she looks a lot like him, but she’s beautiful, so go figure.

720p… Ricky is back up. There is confusion on stage, as the Mexican crew scatters, unsure where to go from there. Ricky then says, “you know this next actor from such films as…” and he goes on to name some horrendous films like “Hudson Hawk” and “Mercury Rising”… Ricky says, “And here is Ashton Kutcher’s dad, Bruce Willis!”

Bruce walks out with a smirk, introducing a film nominated for Best Comedy or Musical, that being “Red”… which was a fun, fun movie.

722p… From “Country Strong”, which is a movie I have no desire to see, here are two people that I don’t care about… Best Supporting Actor in a Series/Mini-Series/Movie. I’m rooting for Scott Caan, but I’m thinking the Extremely Gay Chris Colfer from Glee will get it.

And the winner is? The Extremely Gay Chris Colfer. And to me, its because he’s as gay as a football bat. The Lovely Steph Leann defends him, saying, “Well, maybe, but its also because he’s so awesome!”. No, its because he’s a flamer. Matter of fact, I’m surprised he’s not kissing a guy right now.  Lea Michelle is crying, which is actually kinda sweet.  Not as sweet at Chris Colfer, mind you, but still...

My prediction? You’ll hear some magazine, website or the like tell us that Chris Colfer’s win was important for the gay community.

Here is Michelle, circa 1989, from "The Fabulous Baker
Boys"... by the way, an absolutely fabulous drama.

729p… Michelle Pfieffer comes out… let me tell ya, back in the day, she was The Stuff. Back in the late 80s, early 90s, she was everything that Angelina Jolie is today, and more. Michelle was amazing. She still looks great. She’s introducing the next Best Comedy Movie nominee, “Alice in Wonderland”.

731p… Eva Longoria, sans Parker, almost fell. She usually looks great, but tonight she looks especially classy. Its like he was saying “Hey Tony… check this out. You had this. But you lost it. Sucka.” Tony, you’re a friggin’ idiot.

The president of The Hollywood Foreign Press comes out, and his name is Philip Berk. I immediately think of the obnoxious guy I knew in college named Philip Burke. He was a Lambda Chi Alpha, and I think student body president at one time. But this guy is not that Philip Burke—though that would be funny.

733p… Kevin Bacon and Milla Jovavich is giving the award for Best Drama Series. Actors from Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Dexter and House are nominated as usual, along with Steve Buscemi from “Boardwalk Empire”… and Steve wins. I thought that show was great… but it’s a little too much. Too much sex, too much violence, the language is horrible, and I just couldn’t get into it. But it’s a well done show, and its cool to see That Guy Hall of Famer Steve Buscemi get himself an award. He says, “Im going to talk fast, before that sad music comes on!”

737p… And here’s are the Best Drama nominees… Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, The Good Wife, Mad Men, The Walking Dead… and the winner? Boardwalk Empire. I do eventually want to see Dexter, The Good Wife and The Walking Dead, which are all on the list to watch on DVD. And I’ve got Mad Men coming on Netflix.

Can’t believe they are doing the Best Drama already! And Mark Wahlberg is on stage? He is in this show? What did I miss?

743p… Andrew Garfield, himself a nominee for “The Social Network”, is out to introduce… well, “The Social Network”… he stumbled over the teleprompter, eliciting a few laughs. By the way, “The Social Network”? One of the five best movies of last year, I gotta say.

745p… Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez are out to present Original Song, after some horribly written banter that they awkwardly read from the teleprompter. Burlesque is nominated twice—I’ve been hearing that is a awful movie. The song from Tangled is nominated, but doesn’t win. “You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me” from Burlesque wins, and The Lovely Steph Leann is disappointed it wasn’t “See The Light” from "Tangled".

749p… And Alec and J-Lo comes back up to give out Original Score. Danny Elfman’s “Alice in Wonderland” is nominated, and I thought that music was brilliant. Inception is also nominated, and that movie’s music is fantastic. The winner? Trent Reznor for “The Social Network”, and I can’t complain, because it did set a great tone for that film. Nine Inch Nails now has a Golden Globe.

755p… The young chick from "True Grit" comes out—she was amazing in that film—and Justin Bieber—I’ll refrain from the jokes—comes out with her to give out the award for Best Animated Film. I’m guessing "Toy Story 3" will take this, but I’m fearful that “How to Train Your Dragon” will be the dark horse. I wouldn’t have a problem with "Tangled" winning this, but I don’t know how "Toy Story 3" can’t win.

And the winner? "Toy Story 3", in one of the least shocking wins of the whole night. The director comes up, and takes the award, and turns to Hallie Steinfeld and The Beebs and says, “Were you two even born when the first one came out?” to which they both just smirk at him.

759p… Ricky says, “I love this guy, star of 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang', 'Two Guys and Girl', 'Bowfinger'… I’m sorry, are these porn films?”  Then he makes the obligatory "RDJ spent time in prison" joke that always comes around when RDJ makes an appearance.

And of course, its Robert Downey Jr! He has gone from cool to jerk to cool again in his career. And he gives a hilarious monologue on the nominees about how, in his career, he’s gotten with everyone one of them… and when he gets to young Emma Stone, its fantastic. Award for Best Actress Comedy or Musical. I’m afraid Annette Bening or Julianne Moore will get it for The Kids are Alright, because that movie was horrific. Annette Bening gets it.

Chris Colfer is somewhere in the back shouting “Hooray For Gay!”

I haven't done a review yet, but "The
Fighter" was a great film.  Great story, great
acting, and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love
with.

809p… Sylvester Stallone comes out. Lets see how much we can understand. He’s here to introduce a film for Best Movie Drama, “The Fighter”, starring Golden Globe winner Christian Bale, Marky Mark sans Funky Bunch and Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with.

811p… Tilda Swinton comes out with Geoffrey Rush, and I gotta say, Tilda Swinton is one of the most unattractive chicks ever, with an eccentric fashion style. Eccentric means terrible. Heres the award for Best Actor in TV Movie/Mini-Series. Winner is Al Pacino for the Jack Kavorkian story, “You Don’t Know Jack”. Wanted to see it.  And Al talks.  And talks.  And talks.  Aaaand talks.

815p… My guess is the guy starting the Wrap Up Music is about to push the button, and someone who makes more than him says, “Dude! No! That’s AL PACINO! You don’t wrap up Al Pacino!” And they didn’t.

Up next, Actress for TV Movie/Mini-Series. Claire Danes wins for “Temple Grandin”, which she won the Emmy for as well. I’ve never seen the film, and really don’t expect to either—not that I don’t think its great, but it just doesn’t interest me—but its supposed to be an awesome film. Its right up The Lovely Steph Leann’s alley, so she can see it, and I’m sure she’ll tell me how great it is when she sees it on The Hallmark Channel or The Hallmark Movie Channel.

823p… Zac Efron is out now to introduce “The Kids are Alright” as a nominee for Best Comedy or Musical. I’m thinking this will win. Why? Because its gay.

825p… Ricky tells us that Tina Fey and Steve Carell are coming out, but not before dissing on Steve for leaving The Office after this season, “killing that cash cow for both of us!” The award is Best Screenplay. Tina: Here’s a movie that ruined our ability to interact with one another… Steve: I heard about that film on Facebook from a friend I’ve never met.

The winner? Aaron Sorkin for “The Social Network”. Its based on a book called “The Accidental Billionaires” by Ben Mezrich, who also wrote “Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions”, which was made into the Kevin Spacey movie called "21".  Book is good, "21" was okay. I plan on downloading The Accidental Billionaires next month as my Audible.com selection.

829p… Chris Helmsworth, the new Thor, and Chris Evans, the new Captain America, are giving out the award for Best Actress in a TV Series, Mini or Movie.   Their banter is terrible.  Why am I not a writer at one of these shows?   Take me, Scotty Latta and Hurricane Rhett, and I guarantee the jokes would be funnier than anything you've ever heard in your life.  Ever.

And the old lady they cut to when announcing Julia Stiles for “Dexter” was NOT Julia Stiles. The winner, though, is Jane Lynch for Glee… she also won an Emmy for this last September.  And Lea Michelle is crying.  That's... well, it is kinda sweet again, I guess.  Not as sweet at Chris Colfer, but still...

836p… Ricky introduces Olivia Wilde and Robert Pattinson, saying, “Here to present an award that no one in America cares about, the Best Foreign Film!” He’s right. Denmark’s “In a Better World” wins, and I really could care less.

838p… Out comes the most attractive 93 year old in America—no, not Betty White—it’s Helen Mirren! She’s out to announce the nomination of “The King’s Speech”, starring the president of The Colin Firth Club, that being Colin Firth himself…

Okay, so what is The Colin Firth Club? We’ve discussed this before, but I feel like we’re getting new readers all the time (wishful hoping?) so I thought I’d explain again… It’s a small group of actors and musicians that The Lovely Steph Leann finds herself a little hot for. Whilst I have my Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with, The Goddess, Reese Witherspoon, Kristen Chenoweth, Martina McBride, Lesley Mann and Kate Winslet, she has The Colin Firth Club.

The Lovely Steph Leann would never cheat on me. If Jake Gyllenhaal ever propositioned my wife, I am positive she’d say, “Yeah, thanks, I’m honored, but no. I gotz a man.” Then he’d say, “What yo’ man got to do with me?” and she’d say, “I ain’t try to hear that, see!” I’m Positive (K)!

However comma

If Colin Firth propositioned The Lovely Steph Leann, I’m pretty sure she’d say no. She’d hesitate. She’d probably give it a few seconds, and maybe flush and stammer, but ultimately she’d say no. Other guys that would elicit this reaction include Hugh Jackman, Bradley Whitford (in West Wing days, not so sure now), Patrick Dempsey, Hugh Grant and Jon Bon Jovi. Thus, The Colin Firth Club.

840p… Vanessa Williams and Blair Underwood, two extremely attractive people no matter the color, are here to announce the award for Best Actress in a TV Series. The winner is Laura Linney for The Big C… what can top gaydom? Cancer! If there was movie with a gay guy with cancer, its sweeping these awards.

846p… Here comes Jane Fonda! Screen legend! Have you ever seen any of her movies? She doesn’t have much on her resume. Yet, she’s a screen legend. And she’s here to show off “Burlesque”, a nominee for Best Comedy or Musical.

847p… Two people I don’t know are announcing Best Actor in Comedy or Musical Series… the winner is Jim Parsons from “The Big Bang Theory”, which is a show that I’ve never seen, but I’m hearing that this show is getting better and better as the years go on.

850p… Jeremy Irons is giving out the Best Supporting Actress in a Movie, and sounds almost like a Jeremy Irons imitation, though he’s actually him. Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with, is nominated for The Fighter, but it goes to the other chick in the film, Melissa Leo. And really, she kinda deserves it, because her part was great.

Just saw a McDonald’s commercial that features a guy coming through the drive thru, whispering his order, and continuing to lap the building without stopping. The somewhat attractive and seemingly smart young chick behind the drive thru mic is confused. He whispers into the speaker again as he drives by slowly. The young chick glances in the backseat as he rides by and sees a baby. The third time he rolls around and whispers, she whispers back his order, and its all sweet and cute and such. Do do do da doooo… I’m lovin’ it.



There are a number of falsehoods in this commercial.


First, I’m sure there are pretty people that work at McDonald’s, somewhere, somehow, so that’s not an issue. But the fact that she’s understandable is unrealistic.


Secondly, no one whispers in that drive thru. Right off the bat, you get a really clear voice that says in a perky voice, “Hi, would you like to try (insert whatever they are promoting at the time)!?” You think, “Ah, someone understandable!” and you say, “No thank you, but I would like to get (insert what nutritional combination you actually do want)".  A pause.  Then you get some chick who can barely talk intelligently, and has a tendancy to start speaking before she hits the drive thru mic button, and then turns the mic off before she's done talking... you hear "...getta number four and what you want to dr..." in a loud voice.

What happened to the pleasant voice you heard first??  Ah... it was a recording.  It was a a tease, thinking you'll have an understandable drive thru experience.  Then you realize... this ain't Starbucks.

So that commercial is full of crap.   

858p… Matt Damon is out to give the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Robert DeNiro… gotta tell ya, Robert DeNiro IS a screen legend. Who cares about Jane Fonda? DeNiro has done some incredible films, but has also done some real, real crap.

My favorite Bobby DeNiro films include “Midnight Run”, #56 on The Dave100… “Heat”, #87 on The Dave100… “Goodfellas”… “Casino”… “Untouchables”... and yeah, he was pretty funny in “Analyze This”. And no, I didn’t like “Analyze That”, or any other feature where the characters are named “Focker”.

Like all actors, he’s made some turkeys, including “The Fan”, “The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle”, “A Shark Tale” and “Showtime”. And I tried to watch “Ronin” three different times… couldn’t get into it. The car chase was spectacular, as its been hyped to be, but the movie couldn’t keep me interested after that.

Robert DeNiro is an actor that everyone loves, and there’s a huge ovation that lasts for several minutes. He quips that “I’m glad this award was announced two months ago, well before you had time to review ‘Little Fockers’” which gets an uncomfortable laugh from the audience. He also says that “Awakenings” was one of his favorites. Anyway, I’m glad it went to Bobby DeNiro instead of someone I'm barely aware of.

913p… Megan Fox comes out, and I’m still unimpressed. Someone is who is completely overrated and overhyped is fittingly announcing an overrated and overhyped film, “The Tourist”.

914p… Annette Bening comes out to give the Best Director Award. As I thought, David Fincher for “The Social Network” takes the prize. Its kinda of surprising, though, that such a mainstream film has been taking so many awards and such. Fincher is also the director of The Dave100 film “Se7en”, as well as “Benjamin Button” and “Fight Club”.

917p… Jimmy Fallon and the smoldering January Jones come out to give out the award for Best TV Series Music or Comedy, in another bit of awkward banter. And The Lovely Steph Leann squeals in delight as Glee picks up the award for Best TV Comedy/Musical Series. At least the show has Jayma Mays, who I kinda think is pretty… not tonight, but usually.

923p… And here’s Alicia Keys to tell us about “Black Swan.” I am not sure if I want to see this movie or not… part of me does, but part of me figures it will be like “Brokeback Mountain”, that is, I should see it because of all the nominations, but once Oscar time rolls around and passes us by, I can skip it.

925p… Halle Berry comes out to give the Best Actor in Comedy or Musical Award, to which Johnny Depp is nominated twice. Paul Giamatti gets the award for “Barney’s Version”, a film that I know soooo little about.

932p… Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who might be the coolest cat in any movie in 2010, is out to tell us about “Inception”, which to me was the best movie of 2010. I loved every single thing about this movie. The fight scene in the hallway with JGL was amazing.

933p… Jeff Bridges, who Hollywood loves like crazy right now, comes out to give out the Best Actress in a Drama Movie. Right before they announce Natalie Portman’s name, I say it out loud. And then Jeff Bridges says, “Natalie Portman, Black Swan.”

937p… Wow, we haven’t seen Ricky Gervais in like, an hour. He spends 45 seconds introducing Tom Hanks, then says, “the other guy is… Tim Allen…” Here’s the award for Best Comedy or Musical… and The Kids are Alright is probably going to win.



Julianne Moore and her offending dress

The winner is? The Kids are Alright. Yep. Its Award Day To Be Gay.
The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, “Her [Julianne Moore] dress is horrific! I cannot get over that!”

946p… Ricky comes out and introduced Sandra Bullock… with quite an intro. Funny stuff. Here is the award for Best Actor Movie Drama… The Lovely Steph Leann is rooting for her Colin Firth… and when he wins, she shouts “YEESS!!!!”, with her arm in the air.

So, I expect Colin Firth to win the Oscar, though a Jesse Eisenberg win for “The Social Network” wouldn’t shock me… though I’m guessing that Colin Firth will get the one award given to recognize The Kings Speech, so The Social Network can pick up everything else… and Jesse Eisenberg loses out.

953p… During the commercial break, I looked up at The Lovely Steph Leann and asked, “What’s left?” She thinks, and says, “Drama TV?” I replied, “Boardwalk Empire.” She says, “Wow, I guess that’s it then.”

954p… And cancer free Michael Douglas comes out for the Best Movie Award, and gets a standing ovation. He even says, “There has to be an easier way to get a standing ovation…”

The winner, en route to an Academy Award for Best Picture in February? “The Social Network”.

Gotta tell ya… though I hate that its taking away all the momentum that Inception was getting, if this wins the Oscar I won’t be bothered… it was a great film. It was an amazing film, from the acting to the story to the effects to the music… and its so much more than a movie about Facebook… its about friendship, its about loyalty, its about betrayal, its about business. Its great. I know that Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) didn’t like it, but I’m hoping that she at least appreciated it.

So there’s your Golden Globes. Your Oscar nominations will be announced in a few weeks or so, and I’ll be right here, doing my annual running diary during the awards show!

It's the 66th Annual Golden Globes! (live blogging diary)

And... that's all she wrote. The big news is Kate Winslet wins 2 awards in the same night--The Lovely Steph Leann, Mikey (via text) and myself are not even sure that the same person has ever won Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress in the same night... and the other news is "Slumdog Millionaire". Have you seen it? Let me know how it is...

Good night... more of the 100 Coolest of 2008 to come tomorrow, plus the next running diary will be on Super Bowl Sunday, broadcasting live from The Nipps home!

1000p... "Benjamin Button", "The Reader", "Revolutionary Road" and "Frost/Nixon" are all losers to... "Slumdog Millionaire".

I'll wait until I see it before I make any opinions on it (though I've heard its fantastic, much in the way "Little Miss Sunshine" was a few years back)

958p... Tom Cruise, star of "Der Mavericke", is out to present the winner of Best Picture. My guess is going to be "Slumdog", which is the new love of the HFPA... and possibly the Academy.

952p... I haven't seen this film, but I've heard about it, and I've heard that while the movie is just "pretty good", that Mickey Rourke is remarkable. And hence, he's got the Golden Globe. And Marisa Tomei in the movie is not a bad option either.

950p... Hollywood Liberal Extraordinaire is here for the Best Actor in a Drama Movie. The winner? Mickey Rourke? Really? Wow... Harley Davidson gets the award! (I can only hope that The Marlboro Man will get his due too--thats for you, Mikey)

Mickey, old, saddled with drugs and old age and a lifetime of partying hard, stumbles as he gets to the stage. If, after winning this award, we were to find Mickey Rourke dead in his hotel room tomorrow, I would not be shocked.

945p... I've decided, I'm totally watching this show now. By the way, The Lovely Steph Leann, that is January Jones you spoke of. And yes, she's quite attractive. Not like you, but she's okay, I guess.

943p... Blake Lively from "Gossip Girl" and Rainn Wilson from "The Office" are here to present Best Drama. Rainn says, "Hello. We're just TV actors. Let's hear it for the tv actors!" Blake says, "We are here to present the award for Best Drama", then they both are silent. Blake pops up and says, "Oh, wait, we're supposed to read it!" They shoot through the nominees, and the winner is "Mad Men"

The Lovely Steph Leann: I don't know who that chick is in the blue but she's beautiful. (reflects for a minute) Okay, well, I don't really like the dress, but I love the color.

940p... My favorite actress with my favorite speech of the night. She says, "I just saw the sign that says 'please wrap up'. You have no idea how much I'm not wrapping up..."

I can only hope this translates into her winning an Oscar, because she deserves it... of course, perhaps like tonight, she might be given an Oscar for "Hey, give her one, she has earned it!" rather than a particular performance in "Revolutionary Road", kind of like Denzel in "Training Day" and Tommy Lee Jones in "The Fugitive."


My favorite actress, Ashley Judd Club Member and now, 2 Time Golden Globe Winner Kate Winslet.

938p... Mark Wahlberg and Cameron Diaz come out to announce the aformentioned Anne Hathaway, and the not so pretty Angie Jolie for Best Actress. Kate? Maybe? Kate?

KATE WINSLET!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS HER 2ND AWARD TONIGHT!!!

The Lovely Steph Leann (gasping): Ohmigah... they gave her two!
Me: WOO - HOO!!!!

936p... So, two actors that are Indian/Asian (I won't even pretend to try their names) comes out to introduce "Slumdog Millionaire". This might just win Best Picture tonight, and if so, it will be the front runner at the Oscars.

932p... Didja hear about Anne Hathaway? She is up for Best Actress in "Rachel Gets Married", and a star appeared by her name on the Hollywood Foriegn Press website, indicating she had won... a few days ago. Here's the scoop.

930p... "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" wins for Best Comedy. Okay, so at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), we discussed racism. I hope its not going to make our pastor angry to say that I will probably never see this film, nor do I even want to. Doesn't help that I can't stand Woody Allen.

928p... Sasha Baron Cohen, the man who is Borat, comes out and says, among other digs at celebrities, "The recession is hitting everyone... Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants. Our thoughts go out to you, Guy Ritchie." The crowd claps and gives a "oooohhh"

926pm... Count me as in the minority of guys who don't find Salma Hayek attractive at all. Nor do I think Penelope Cruz, Angelina Jolie and Catherine Zeta-Jones is anything special. Just sayin'.

921pm... Sandra Bullock comes out... where has she been? She was the hottest chick of the 90s, and suddenly, she's nowhere to be seen. Oh, don't say "The Lake House", that didn't count. Anyway, she's cracking a few jokes here and there, kind of reminding me of Annie is "Speed". The award for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical is Colin Farrell for "In Bruges".

919pm... Ripley herself, Sigorney Weaver comes out to introduce "Revolutionary Road", a film that was getting major buzz early, but has faded a bit because of mixed reactions from critics. It seems "The Reader" is the Kate Winslet film that the voters are loving.

913pm... Emma Thompson, one of my all time favorite actresses, and Dustin Hoffman are presenting the Best Director award. "Slumdog Millionaire" is a favorite, though I'm pushing for "Ben Button's" David Fincher. The award goes to... Danny Boyle.

This is huge. Very, very big. This pretty much guarantees some major Oscar love when nominees are announced in a few weeks. And if it wins best picture (and it might), it might become a front runner over "Frost/Nixon" and "Benjamin Button" to win Best Picture.

904pm... I actually watched "*batteries not included" not too long ago. Spielberg was an executive producer on that one, one of his rare bombs at the box office. It wasn't as bad as I remember it. Oh, don't get me wrong, it was bad. But it was watchable. It was written by Brad Bird, though, future director of "Ratatouille" and "The Incredibles", among other films.

856p... Its time for the Cecille B. DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement... and this time, its Steven Spielberg. And this is big deal for me, because rather than having older actors or directors that I only know of in older films, Spielberg is a guy I grew up watching, or at least watching his movies...

"Jaws"... "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"... "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial"... "Jurassic Park"... "Schindler's List"... "Saving Private Ryan"... "Minority Report"... "Raiders of the Lost Ark"... "The Terminal"... "Catch Me If You Can"... not only did I see every one of these films, save for "Jaws", at the movie theater, four of them appear on The Dave100... that's how great this guy is.

Here's a hidden gem... "Duel", one of his first films, is amazing. Its from 1971, and its the simple story of a lonely traveler being terrorized by a guy in a semi-truck. Find it on Netflix, or go rent it, or find it on DVR and set to record. Its fantastic.

For the record... "Saving Private Ryan" should have FAR AND AWAY won the Best Picture Oscar in 1998 (?), which went to "Shakespeare In Love." That was a good film, but "Ryan" was unbelievable. Not just a movie, but an experience. Anytime a movie transcends from "entertainment" to "experience", its deserving of recognition.

847p... Best Actress in a Comedy, its Christina vs Tina vs America vs Debra vs Mary Louise (go Debra!!) and the Globe goes to Tina Fey. "30 Rock" is the critic darling right now, much like "The Office" has been in years past. Now that is a low cut dress.


I keep expecting her to go "you say... I only hear what I want to... you say... I talk so all the time... so..."

Tina: "I've collected all the Hollywood Foriegn Press action figures!" Then, she adds, "If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, there's this thing called The Internet, to which I'll call them out right now... DianeFan, you can suck it. CougarGal, you can really suck it. You've been after me all year." Speech of the night thus far.

844p... Diddy Combs are giving away best score. Is that ironic? And the Golden Globe goes to... "Slumdog Millionaire".

842p... Ah, its Pierce Brosnan... and he's introducing on of the biggest disappoinments for me in all of 2008. The musical is magnificent, seen it 4 times and will see it everytime I can, but the movie, "Mamma Mia!" is sorely lacking. And Pierce tries to sing... wow. Just... wow. Not a good wow. A bad wow. And I think it was worse because I was soooo looking forward to it.

833p... Glenn Close from "Damages" and Morpheus are giving out the award for Best TV Series. More than likely, this is a battle between "The Office" and "30 Rock", though "Weeds" might sneak in there. And the winner is... "30 Rock".

Tracy Morgan says, "I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foriegn Press, cause a black man can't get no love from The Emmys!" and he rambles on for a while, until Alec Baldwin leans in and whispers something, which makes Tracy shout, "Oh yeah, Jeff Zucker, the producer"

830p... Megan "Is A" Fox and Terence Howard are handing out the award for Best Actor in a Mini-Series and/or TV Movie. Another "John Adams" win, I'm guessing... which is deserved. Paul Giamatti is another That Guy who is really emerging to be a great actor in his own right...

Paul Giamatti says, "This was a helluva job, a helluva job. You know, this little costume drama we put on over at HBO..." which warranted a laugh from myself and The Lovely Steph Leann.

Well deserved.

828p... Renee Zellweger is wearing... something. The Lovely Steph Leann is in the kitchen at this very moment, and I'm trying to get her in here to get a reaction. Yikes.

822p... Colin Firth Club member Patrick Dempsey, and Amy Poehler are up to give Alec Baldwin Best Actor in a Comedy for "30 Rock", a show that will be on my Netflix queue soon.

820p... Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks, stars of "Zack & Miri Make a Porno"! Of course, the announcers didn't say that, they just said, "Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks!"

Seth Rogan says, "I wish I was around to present the Golden Globes in the 80s. Instead of getting drunk with Mickey Rourke, I could be doing cocaine with Mickey Rourke." Funny joke, but even funnier is the fact they didn't cut to Mickey Rourke.

Best Screenplay goes to "Slumdog Millionaire", a film that is getting hot and steamrolling to the Oscars. Of course, this might be the one award it gets, as a "you deserve something, so here" token.

818p... So, "In Bruges" is apparently this much acclaimed film. Know very little about it. Anyone?

810p... Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal, who I had a brief crush/fling with not too long ago, are giving out Best Supporting Actress. Laura Linney is nominated... I do love me some Laura Linney. And... Laura Linney in "John Adams". Of course it does... I do have a feeling this is going to pick up quite a few tonight, just like it did with the Emmys.


Laura Linney, new Golden Globe winner. Oh, she was in "The Truman Show". That's how you know her.

807p... Colin Farrell attempts a joke, which falls flat. Best foriegn film... which means my attention is fading. "Waltz with Bashir" is the winner, and I called it. The Lovely Steph Leann and I both figure it will pick up the Oscar.

On another note... Colin sniffled as he was about to read. He said, "Sorry, got a cold. Its not the kind of cold it used to be." Then he smirked.

The Lovely Steph Leann looked up from under her blanket. "I think he just made a cocaine reference."

Also... Israel won this award. Won't most of the liberal celebrities want to hold him down and let some Palistine beat the crap out of him? Cause libs don't like Israel. Just sayin'.

803p... Is it bad that I want to see "The Celebrity Apprentice 2: Celebrity Apprenticier"? Surely J Rob would join me in this venture.

758p... After giving a little motherly advice to daughter Rumer, who is Miss Golden Globe and is helping onstage, Demi Moore is giving out Best Supporting Actor in a Movie. This is the one Heath Ledger is nominated for--and I kinda knew that this was a foregone conclusion. The entire audience gives a standing ovation. But... the award is deserved. Heath was BRILLIANT in "The Dark Knight".



756p... "John Adams" wins.

753p... This is the part of the show where Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore present "John Adams" with Best Mini Series or TV Movie. "Raisin in the Sun" was nominated, but it's got Sean "Puffy" Combs in it. Or P. Diddy. Or Pididdle. Or Diddy Kong, or whatever he is this week. So it can't win. Wait... wait... "Recount" is nominated. Crap... this might be a contest...

752p... The fact that Cate Blanchett didn't get nominated for Best Actress in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" is a travesty. She's just simply amazing in that flick.

750p... Is it bad that I kinda want to see "Confessions of a Shopaholic"?

742p... Johnny Depp appears onscreen, looking flaky as ever. He's giving away Best Actress in a Comedy, and really, he is three gold teeth and some dreads away from being Jack Sparrow--he sounds just like him right now. Seriously, Johnny Depp is flaky. So, Sally Hawkins wins for "Happy Go Lucky". I've never even heard of this flick...

739p... The Jonas Brothers are here to give the award for Outstanding Animated Film to "Wall*E". I think out of courtesy they are announcing that "Kung Fu Panda" and "Bolt" were also nominated, but seriously... we know. The Lovely Steph Leann giggles like a little girl when "Wall*E" is formally awarded.

737p... Ricky Gervais is hilarious, lamenting about how he wasn't nominated and how he will not, in the future, get it on with 200 foriegn journalists. He actually is drinking his beer onstage, which is just as funny. He looks at Kate Winslet and says, "I told you, Winslet! Do a Holocaust movie, win an award!"


Mikey just texted me his support for Rogue... er, Anna Paquin. I can concur. Even with that gap in her teeth.

730p... Zack Quintos and the other guy in the new Trek film are doing the Best Actress in TV Drama. Winner? Two shockers in a row... Gabriel Byrne won for "In Treatment" and Anna Paquin won for "True Blood". Didn't see either one of those coming--I thought "Mad Men" would get something, either Jon Hamm or January Jones. I can't complain about Anna Paquin though... she's Rogue. Rock on.

728p... Hayden Panattiere and Zac Efron are giving away Best Actor in a Series. I've never seen "Mad Men", but I'm hearing tons about it. I am wary about jumping into shows anymore, because they get canceled so quickly--Netflix just sent me "Pushing Daisies", and despite my crush on Kristen Chenoweth, I refuse to watch it. Its canceled. I might watch "Mad Men", though.

726p... If I'm Don Cheadle, a prominent actor, rising from That Guy Status to be nominated for numerous awards himself, when I enter, I don't want to be known as "The star of the new motion picture 'Hotel for Dogs'!"

718p... Best Supporting Actress for all those things below. Laura Dern wins for "Recount", and HBO movie from last year. It was chided by some conservatives, Rush & Hannity included, for being biased, but really, I liked it. It didn't put Dubya in a bad light, rather it showed how incompetant John Kerry (who served in Vietnam) and his campaign actually was. Anyway, I liked it.

The Lovely Steph Leann weighs in on this subject. "Laura Dern does not need to be wearing black."

Laura Dern then goes slightly political, raising the applause of the crowd.

717p... Tom Wilkenson sounds loaded. I told you, open bar.

715p... The next award is for Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini Series, Movie, Telemovie, Telenovella, Hardback Adaptation, Cable Show, Local Stage Play and Lifetime Holiday Classic. Tom Wilkenson wins for "John Adams", a mini-series I have yet to see, but will probably take all kinds of awards tonight.

713p... Is it bad that I want to see "He's Just Not That Into You", the new ensemble comedy?

710p... The Lovely Steph Leann: "Hey... he walked the wrong way! Bruce Springsteen walked the wrong way off stage." Me: "He's Bruce. He can do whatever he wants and he dares anyone to tell him different."

708p... The winner is Bruce Springsteen, for a song from "The Wrestler". Honestly, as soon as they announced his name during the nomination annoucements, I knew that Springsteen had won. He's like U2. He could sing the phone book (and like U2, some of his most recent stuff has been about as good) and win acclaim and honor. I think he's overrated. That's right. I said it.

706p... Best Original Song award given by Sting, who's sporting a "Football player in Boston" beard. Peter Gabriel is nominated for "Wall*E", and they pan to him, and he has a "tell me if I won or lost so I can get another drink and effin' leave". Miley Cyrus & John Travolta have also been nominated for their duet on "Bolt", though I just can't root for Miley Cyrus to win a Golden Globe. Something about that just doesn't seem right.

703p... My Dear Kate has been nominated like a bajillion times for awards, including Oscars and Golden Globes, and for whatever reason, she rarely wins the big ones. In fact, she just said, "You'll have to forgive me for stuttering, I'm not used to winning." She's a phenomenal actress, and she's definately an Ashley Judd Club member in good standing. Yay KATE!! She looks fabulous, as always (Even The Lovely Steph Leann agrees).

701p... The Best Movie Supporting Actress award is up. Jennifer Lopez is presenting (The Lovely Steph Leann: "Look at her dress! She's had babies! You don't show that much skin when you've had babies!") I personally am torn, cause I love Amy Adams and Marisa Tomei, but I loooove Kate Winslet... and the winner is... KATE WINSLET, for "The Reader"!!!!

700p... It's the Golden Globe Awards, who's winners are determined by a group called The Hollywood Foreign Press. They give out awards on movies and television shows, and of course, lots and lots of celebrities... oh, and there's an open bar available. No, I'm not kidding at all.

659p... What in the crap is Tiki Barber doing on the red carpet?

654p... Lisa Rinna is talking to Debra Messing. I say, "Oh, I love Debra Messing. Totally Ashley Judd Club." The Lovely Steph Leann responds, "Look at her frizz! I don't love Debra Messing, at least right now."



652p... The Lovely Steph Leann on various celebrities:
Drew Barrymore: "Her dress looks amazing, but her hair is like a planet..."
The Jonas Brothers: "So, Joe Jonas, the main 'hot' one, has terrible hair. Like, the other ones, Kevin and whatshisname? Rockin', awesome hair. Joe? Terrible."
Pierce Brosnan: "Holy crap. Look how big his wife has gotten!!"
Tom Cruise: "Sigh. I like old school Tom Cruise and... wait... is he wearing a Navy blue suit??"

650p... Just got back in. Now, I'm here, at the laptop, currently I and The Lovely Steph Leann are watching Joey Fatone (the cool N*Sync'er) on the TVGuide Red Carpet Show. Had to go get dinner (having Long John Silver's, thank you).

518p... The Golden Globes, the ugly stepsister of Oscar's Academy Awards, is on tonight... and it is time for a running diary. That basically means that every few minutes, I'll be giving my thoughts on the celebrities, the show, the entertainment and of course, the winners. Full of pop culture random trivia, I'll be able to give you little facts here and there, random links and such, and hopefully you'll keep checking back.

For Amarylis' sake, I'll even disable the "auto-play" on the playlist, so you don't have to keep cutting it off over and over! Stay tuned!