to campbell, on your 12th birthday

 Dear Campbell,

I don't understand the math, but somehow you are 12 years old today. You were born in 2011, so if I used all of my fingers, plus two more, counting to this year... yep, 12.  Wow.

So, I read my letter from last year, and I sort of cheated you out of a good note, and for that I'm sorry. I didn't take the time you were owed to share my thoughts with you - I apologize, kid.  So let's hope this one is a little better.

It's been one crazy year - they all seem to be - and maybe I'll say the same thing year after year, but you have grown so much. Your vocabulary is grown by leaps and bounds, not only in what you say, but what you spell out - your thoughts on kindness, on Jesus, on faith, on your love for us and understanding how much we love you... it's mind blowing. 

Lot of growing up for you too this year... finally, at Alabama Splash Adventure park, you got to ride the roller coasters by yourself... I asked you, "Do you want to ride by yourself, or do you want me to ride with you?" you'd say quickly, "By myself."

Your independence is coming, dude. I feel it. 

Of course, I still love the fact you like hanging out with me. Our weekly Saturday afternoon adventures are always memorable, and something I look forward to - our weekly stops at the Joyful Bakery, at Whole Foods, sometimes a Wal-mart, occasionally the mall, and of course, "Homewood Target".  Why? "The elevator!"  You sit in the cart, I wheel you around and get my own steps in, we look at Thomas stuff, books, clothes, Legos, and everything else in our Target trip... though admittedly, soon, you'll be too big for the cart and will be walking everywhere.  Your mom is feeling that now while you are in Disney World with she and GG, because even though we get you the special needs stroller that is larger, it can only hold you for so long.  So, kid, be prepared to walk everywhere soon... though if I'm honest, I think that's what you'd prefer anyway. 

Let's talk music... a few services like Spotify have this thing where they tell you the artists you listen to the most - we don't do Spotify, but we do Apple Music, and I gotta be honest, it's a little annoying because it's all YOU dude.

I mean, seriously. I'm not listening to 
"Rolling in the Deep" 281 times without
some sort of outside coercion

(Pardon me, Campbell, while I explain to the audience what I mean... so each night, as part of our bedtime routine, we listen to music as we get him ready for bed.  Campbell has picked the playlist, and while the first song has rotated some -- we've had Morgan Wallen's "Last Night" and "Before He Cheats" from Carrie Underwood and "Africa" by Toto and Harry Style's "Satellite" to name a few, we are currently on Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know"

The other three songs are staples... "Levitating" by Dua Lipa, featuring the rap by DaBaby, which I of course have to sing... I'm not kidding, it's his request... and then "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele... and finally, "How to Save a Life" by The Fray.  After music, we do our Bible story, but 1 or 2 times per week, we skip the story and do a fifth song, "Your Song" by Elton John.  I like that one, because I get to sing the line "you are the sweetest kid... I've ever seen...". Then we turn out the lights, say our prayers, and go to sleep)

So, because of your songs every night, my Top Ten played was dominated by YOUR music... including "Rolling in the Deep", "Levitating", "How to Save a Life", "Break My Heart" by Dua Lipa (also originally on the rotation before being moved out), and "Your Song".  We have to get to the 9th song on the list before we get to a song that wasn't or isn't on your list - "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry.  Which you'd like that one too if I'd let you have a 6th song. 

ALL that said... I LOVE that you love music. I love that you love piano, that you listen to everything, that you enjoy dcTalk as well as Taylor Swift as well as Elton John, and even some Will.I.Am, though thats from the "Rio" soundtrack.

Your movies this year?  After a year or two of not paying any attention to it, you cycled back to "Rio 2", which has become almost a daily watch... this, of course, was after a few months of daily "Encanto", which followed a few months of daily "Moana", and it's still fun to not only hear you sing the songs, but actually quote lots of dialogue.  

TV? You're still all about GameShow Network, loving you some Cash Cab and Family Feud and American Says ("host John Michael Higgins!") and People Puzzler and much more, though you'll settle in with your mom on the couch and watch Hallmark... granted you have your iPad in hand, volume on, snuggled up so close to her you are almost under her, which led her to start using captions on the TV, but still. 

Okay, last thing before I go... I want to offer you some advice as you grow and finish your elementary school career and head to middle school next year... Campbell, always let kindness carry you. Always.

One of the things we’ve really picked up on this year is your empathetic nature, which is going to be a blessing, and a curse as you grow up. You’re ability, your nature to take on the pain of others, and to feel what they feel, is a remarkable trait that not many people have. As you live your life, you’re going to be able to see and hear things, and know things about people that some other people will miss because they’re just not feeling the emotion of those around them. And God is going to use that gift tremendously to show compassion and care to so many people.

However, middle school is coming, and it’s going to be a gauntlet. This isn't to scare you, but to just remind you that it's something your mom dealt with, I dealt with, nearly all adults have dealt with... it can be wonderful, it can be fun, as you'll meet new people and make new friends and have new adventures that you've never had a chance to before... but it can also be hard.

But let kindness carry you. Not just in middle school, but everywhere you can. In every possible case, don’t just be nice, be kind. 

Sometimes that means saying or doing things that aren’t popular because it's the right thing, the kind thing to do.

Sometimes that means sticking with people who aren’t the best people in many other eyes because that's where kindness carries you. 

But kindness also doesn’t mean to roll over and let people walk all over you. As I've told you before, I want to prepare you for the fact that there are people out there who are just... well, mean. Doesn't mean Jesus doesn't love them - He does. Doesn't mean that we shouldn't love them - we should. But it also doesn't mean we have to like them or be around them.  We don't. 

As you grow up, you’ll have to discern when to stand and when to back down. 

Stick up for those people around you who cannot fight for themselves. Stick up for yourself. And hold close to those friends who will stick up for you. You have an army of older folks, parents, teenagers, friends who would be willing to fight every battle for you they can… But none of us can be there all the time. 

I want to remind you, it won’t be easy. But, I am there for you. Your mom is there for you. Your friends are there for you. And God will always be there for you in a way that none of us ever can be. 

Finally, Campbell, we live in a crazy world, a world where somebody who believes one thing gets super mad at somebody else who believes something different. 

 Campbell and his mom, taken not
long before I published this post. 
He loves Disney World SO MUCH

Our family believes in the death, and risen life of Jesus Christ,  and in that sacrifice, our sins, our bad deeds are covered. Everything we’ve ever done before, everything we ever will do, is covered under the sacrifice of Jesus.  Knowing you have accepted Jesus in your heart is a beautiful thing to us, an answered prayer from the day you were born.  

But there are many people out there who don’t believe that, and while we know and are positive of what we believe in, it is important to remember that we should never make fun of, or treat badly those who believe something different. 

No matter what people believe, they deserve respect. 

Sometimes people will treat you with disrespect, and you just walk away.  Jesus is in your heart and He will be there for you, that I can promise you. 

Okay, I've rambled on long enough. 

I love you so much, more than you can possibly imagine, and I pray every day that your mom and I can be good examples for you as you grow up - I hope you see and feel the love we have for you at all times. 

It's your birthday today, and your mom tells me you were enjoying a birthday burger at Sci-Fi Cafe in Hollywood Studios today, and honestly, it kinda made me a little sad that I wasn't there with you today. But I promise you, we'll enjoy a good meal on your birthday next year.  Of course, you'll be 13 and probably won't want to hang out with me because I'm not cool enough, but I'll try anyway. 

Your mom loves you, your GG and Pops love you, your aunts and uncles and cousins love you, your Granny Jan and PawPaw Randy love you - and Jesus loves you more than all of us put together, times a bajillion.  And that's a lot, my friend, a lot. 

I'll see you in a few days when you return home! 

Love always,

--Dad 

"to campbell on your 11th birthday" link is at the beginning of this post... here is the link "to campbell on your 10th birthday", and the rest of the letters are at the bottom of that post... 

to campbell, on your 9th birthday

I was just taking a look and realized I've blogged just one single time in 2020, and it was my thoughts on a hate crime and tragedy.

May my words be much lighter and full of more love here.  

Here is my annual open letter to my son on his birthday. 

Riding with your Dad, cheesin, wearing
Mommy's vintage Leia shirt from 1983

Dear Campbell, 

My my what a year it has been.  As you get older, begin to understand pop culture and catch phrases and references, "2020" will be one for the books.  

So, there was this pandemic, see... basically, a virus came into our country, swept through the country, scared a lot of people, many people died, many more got it and were fine, and so on.  I'm sure you and I will talk about the finer points of all of this one day, but 2020 was the Coronavirus year. 

It didn't start out that way. January was a fine month, fine indeed, and I even got to go to Disneyland for my job and meet some really cool people -- I talked about you a lot.  Kobe Bryant, a legendary NBA player died in January from a helicopter crash, the Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl, and the only music I really enjoyed from 2020 was a song called "Blinding Lights" from The Weeknd and music from a chick named Dua Lipa.  

There was also some song released called "WAP", but you aren't allowed to listen to it -- not so much because of the lyrics, but because I'm raising you to have taste.

It's hard to even talk about 2020 movies this year because so many of them came out on streaming services. Someone told me the other day "Can you believe 'Birds of Prey' came out THIS YEAR?!" and I actually had to go look that up to confirm, because this year has been so insane.

I keep going back to how crazy this year has been... in March, enough people had gotten this virus that basically the country shut down.  Movie theaters closed. Many restaurants closed, and the ones that did stay open only did drive thru or curbside. Wal-Mart decided it was going to close at 6pm instead of being open 24/7, grocery stores closed at 5 or 6, churches closed doors and went online, and when you came home for Spring Break, you didn't go back, as schools went virtual.

And it was really, really tough.  On our entire family. Your Mom started working from home, and we still had to get you up to try to do things online with your class -- and of course, you weren't really into that, so that was a struggle. Truthfully, I feel guilty sometimes because I feel like me not pushing you more may have set you back further, but I promise, we did what we could. 

This summer, we did our best to stay busy... we started riding bikes together, and honestly, that was a proud moment as a Dad for you. Yes, the training wheels are still on, but we'll get there. We hit Splash Adventure four or five times this summer, including once when you sat up on the 75 foot tall slide and nearly gave me a heart attack. 

You spent a little time with your friend Hillary, kinda your BFF, and watching your face the day Jack & Lily stopped by this summer was so amazing.  I hope your first instinct is always to give a handshake or a hug when you see your friends. 

2020 was the year you went all in on trains. 
Obsessed with Thomas, and in your Mom's
absence, we went on train hunts.

It's been fun to watch you at Next Levl too... I've watched you conquer those trampolines one by one, climbing up, falling backwards, failing to get back up to the ledge, whining, then trying it again. You persevere, Campbell -- its one of your attributes. 

You did get to go some this summer to a shortened summer school schedule, and you finally got to go back in September, albeit a crazy schedule. 

The Disney trip we had planned for March, the one where you saw the doctor in Florida was pushed back to May... then June... then September... then late September... but we got to go!!!

And you had your first waffles and pancakes (and syrup, which you dipped everything in, from your bread to your meat). And your first ham sandwich. And your first hamburger.  

And I'm proud to say, your first Blue Milk from Star Wars Galaxy's Edge.  And you loved it. 

Of course, you went all in on trains, including Thomas the Tank Engine -- our living room floor looks like a flippin stockyard. And all in on YouTube... by the way, you are obsessed, and probably need an intervention. 

Then... November came. 

And Campbell, this is where I have to brag on you and tell you how proud I am of you.  Every year when I do these online letters to you, hoping that one day you will read and absorb, I try to teach you a little something. Last year, we talked a little about kindness.  The year before, it was about Truth. And before that, it was Respect. 

This year? Adaptability.  And you showed all of us how good you are at it. 

I went away early in November for a few days, and Aunt Becky came to stay with us. And she was already not feeling great. Mommy had to take her home, to Aunt Becky's house, while you and I stayed here together... and no, you weren't happy that first night, but when we called to talk to Mommy and Aunt Becky, she (Becky) asked you "How much does Aunt Becky Love you??".  You replied "SOOOO MUCH" -- that was your thing with her, remember?  I don't know if you know, but that would be the last thing you'd say to her. And honestly, that's a good one to go out on.

Aunt Becky went to the hospital and didn't get better, then Mommy got sick with -- you guessed it, coronavirus.  And when Aunt Becky went to be with Jesus, Mommy and I fretted over how to tell you.  

On a Sunday afternoon, I finally just gave it to you -- Aunt Becky passed away and wouldn't be coming to see us anymore. You looked at me, then put on your shoes and were ready to go.  

Do you remember that day? I think you processed, and did so for much of the day. 

Your mom was gone for over two weeks... and you handled it like a champ. You didn't meltdown (much) you didn't freak out (much) and you didn't cry and scream because routine was so insane and upside down. You handled it. 

One of my fave pics of us, after getting soaked on
Splash Mountain, me losing my hat, and you having
just come down from a meltdown of epicness. 
Just the two of us. 

And I cannot tell you how proud I am of you for that. Had you had freak out moments, had you melted down every day, I'm not sure I could have handled it. 

But God took care of you, and me, and of course Mommy, who came back to us after 16 days, healthy and maybe a little tired.

Campbell, you adapted. You rolled with it, and kept on. And that is a huge trait to have. 

I know this letter is so much different from year's past, when I just gave you a recap and told you your accomplishments, but this year has been different, so it works somehow.

Welcome to 9 years old, my dear son. We love you more than you'll ever know... and still can't compare with the love that Jesus has for you. This year we began our nightly prayers together, and we'll keep praying for our family, for our friends, for our church and our pastor, for our country and our President, and that one day you'll find Jesus in your heart. Honestly, I've thought for a while now that you have your own conversations with God internally. He knows how to talk to you in ways we can't. Hopefully, you can tell me on your own one day if I was right. 

Finally, as I was driving the other day, I heard Will Smith's great remake of Bill Withers classic "Just the Two of Us"... from a father to a son, here are the lyrics I'll leave you with:

Feel the strife, but trust life does go wrong
But just in case, it's my place to impart

One day some girl's gonna break your heart
And ooh ain't no pain like from the opposite sex
Gonna hurt bad, but don't take it out on the next, son
Throughout life people will make you mad

Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
'Cause hate in your heart will consume you too
Always tell the truth, say your prayers

Hold doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears
You're living proof that dreams do come true
I love you and I'm here for you

With love,

Dad

Just Like a Prayer

Tonight, we met little Clara Hope.  Our friends Dave and Mandi Tuck's first, a little girl all wrapped snug in pink, looking as cutie-patootie as you could possibly imagine.  Mommy was good, and we met Daddy's own parents--Tuck's pop is awesome, complete with a bow tie and high socks, with his khakis stuffed into his socks, looking like he just stepped out of a 1958 television set--even though Tuck himself was in law class. 

Clara Hope being so cute is just one more piece of evidence in our theory that there is only so much cuteness to go around, and The Lovely Steph Leann and I are sorely afraid that we won't get any for our own kid.  Cause, whether you admit it or not, there are in fact ugly babies out there, and even though we'd like to think we could recognize an unattractive baby if we had one, we both know that we'll think our baby is gorgeous.   We'll listen for key words like "Precious" and "So sweet" to let us know that you think our child is a troll. 

Bear with me, I'll come back to this...

So, the other day, I'm wandering around behind the bar at work, humming and singing to myself as I am wont to do sometimes... the song of choice was Madonna's hit from 1992, "Like a Prayer".   I was softly singing, "Life is a mystery... and we all must stand alone... I hear you call my name... and it feels like... home... when you call my name, it's like a little prayer, I'm down on my knees, I want to take you there, in the midnight hour, I can feel your power, just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there..."

And for whatever reason, I stopped singing.  Then I slowly began to recite the words in my mind and came to a stark realization... this song is kinda dirty.  Like, really, really dirty.  Like, its all about sex.  So, for almost 20 years, I've been singing this song without a clue.

I guess it makes sense, I just never really paid much attention to it.  But it gave me true pause, because I was like "Wow... I guess I'll listen a little differently to this now..."  I did mention this to Melanie right after, and she stared at me. "Uh... duh.  Why do you think the Catholics went nuts over that song?  It was all dirty and stuff."

So, back to the Tucks.  We dropped off a meal at their house tonight... in our Sunday School Life Connection Class at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), when a couple in our class has a baby, we all sign up and bring them meals.   Of course, The Lovely Steph Leann and I both agree that we won't get much food when Camp/Lorelei shows up, because in all our years of babies in our class, we've taken meals to two couples... The Halperts and The Tucks.  And The Halperts just moved back to Houston, so we've crossed them off the list.  Hey, The Tucks, we like pasta, and I love cheesecake.

After we left The Tuckstead, we went off to find our own dinner, and we got into a discussion between Olive Garden and O'Charley's.  She asked me if I'd rather have one or the other, and I simply replied, "Either, don't care.  Kinda the same, aren't they?"

Pause.

"Huh?" The Lovely Steph Leann asked.

"O'Charley's and Olive Garden... kind of the same, aren't they?  Like, I can't really tell them apart," I shrugged.

"Holy crap, d$, Olive Garden is Italian!  O'Charley's is American.  They aren't anything alike!  You really don't know the difference?"

"Ah.  So the endless pasta bowl is..."

"Olive Garden, the Italian Place."

"So, which one is it that when you are there, you are family?"

"Olive Garden.  Wow.  You really don't know?"

"Sorry," I shrugged again, "just never paid much attention."

So, we ended up a O'Charley's, because it wasn't out of the way like Olive Garden (we were on 31, traveling from Pelham, headed to our home on 280, so 119 was the easiest route).  For the record, dinner wasn't that great, she had a salad which she liked, but some potato soup which was drenched in cheese, while my baked potato wasn't fully cooked, and some seafood which was straight out the white bag that you get fish sticks from, in the frozen food section of Publix.  The bread was good, though it took forever to get any, then took another set of forevers to get another basket. 

During dinner conversation, I did mention the "Like a Prayer" revelation, and how it took me 18 years for it to click concerning the meaning of this.  The Lovely Steph Leann laughed, then said, "That doesn't surprise me."

Wait... what?

"Well," she explained, "you don't really think like that.  That's not how your mind works."  I explained that, you know, I'm a boy, so I think dumb stuff all the time, and she replied, "I didn't say it was necessarily a bad thing, to not think that way."  Essentially, she was saying I can be a bit naive.  And, as observed with the O'Charleys vs Olive Garden conversation, many times I also and extremely unobservant.

The waitress came over, and brought our food, and left.  The Lovely Steph Leann whispered to me to look at the waitress to see if she reminded me of someone that I knew.  When the waitress came back around to refill the tea glass, and then left, The Lovely Steph Leann said, "Did you see it?" and I, of course, replied, "Did I see what?"  And I wasn't joking.  I completely forgot about looking at the waitress.

Naive, forgetful and unobservant.  Sigh.  Guess that is true.  I'm always saying things that are taken entirely in a different, sometimes, negative thing that I didn't mean.  Many times I'll do things that are also taken completely out of the context in which I meant it... which is to say, I speak and act before I think about it, many times.

And it tends to bite me.  Especially in the blogging world.  Now, I'm 760+ posts into Clouds in My Coffee, six years later, and I've written a lot.  Like, a lot a lot.  Like, a whole bunch a lot.  And I've gone back and read many things I've written and thought to myself, "Did I really say that?" or "Wow, that's a little bold..." or "Um... I probably shouldn't have said that either."  And there are many things that I have written out of complete innocence, without a negative thought in the world that I read later and think, "Yeah, I meant that this way... but I can totally see how it can be taken that way."

I'm completely committed to my darling wife (love you much baby doll), completely loyal to her, but I've come upon a few sentences here and there written in years past that, if you didn't know me or just stumbled upon that one single post without reading anything else, you might think, "Hmmm... whats going on with this guy?"  I've found myself doing some editing and "fixing" from years past, just to make sure that if you do stumble upon such things, you won't have that "hmmm" moment.

I guess years ago, when the blog first started, and like, ten people per day was pulling this up, it wasn't a big deal because, who's going to read this?  Nobody, right?  But now?  The Summer of Blogging is pulling down 100+ hits per day, and with that comes the random person surfing the site and who knows what they will find.  I've got 100 people that know me that will read what I write and know I'm joking, they will know I'm not being malicious or out of bounds... but there's always those few people who don't know me well enough.  Then again, that's on me... I should say and do things that no one has a chance to question, right?  Right. 

Thus is the eternal struggle to be funny and myself to those who know me, and yet be above reproach and appealing for those who don't. 

Does this make sense?  I guess I don't want my own blog to be a stumbling block to me or anyone else, and especially glorifying--at the least, honorable--to Christ.  Perhaps it would help if I just paid attention to what I was saying or doing.   I mean, heck... Naive + Speaking before thinking x unobservant = lots of defending myself.  Not good times.  Bad times indeed. 

Am I naive?  Probably.  Is that something to be ashamed of?  I dunno.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Unobservant?  I'm sorry, what was the question?

When you read my blog, its like a little prayer, I'm down on my keyboard I want to take... well, never mind.  Let's not even go there.

The Summer of Blogging Day Fifty One

Twas a Sunday

So, while I sit here watching Holmes on Homes... well, let's be clear, I'm not watching it, I'd rather be watching "Hoarders", but its on, The Lovely Steph Leann has the remote and even though she doesn't want to turn it, she keeps dozing off.  Somehow, her condition now encompasses control of what we watch... like, we watched the last half of a Twilight movie, and the first half of the next one the other night.  I threw up in my mouth a few times, especially when Jacob took his shirt off... which was about 98% of the parts that I saw.

I would be totally afraid of Holmes coming to The Cabana.  Yes, its a home only about three years old, but still...

Update!  She just gave me the remote!  I turned it to "Hoarders".  Its the episode that we almost watched a week ago, but she made me turn it because the family in question has mice in their home.  We'll see if she puts up with this one.

When I want to make myself feel better about our living conditions, I watch "Hoarders".  We tend to keep stuff longer than we should.  But our home, like most others, is just cluttered.  Not packed and disgusting.  So I take solace.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I got to see "Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2" again today.  The Lovely Steph Leann had not seen it, nor had other members of the family like Bro-in-Law Randy and Niece Maddie. 

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"How Do You Know" (2010)
Reese Witherspoon stars as Lisa, a member of an Olympic softball team who didn't make the latest cut, and is now trying to figure out "what's next"... she's dating Matty, a Washington Nationals pitcher who is a cad and a pimp daddy and a jerk and selfish and all that, played in earnest by Owen Wilson.   Enter Paul Rudd, who's character of George stumbles into Lisa's path and her life altogether. 

While Matty is doing his player thing, Lisa's life is miserable, and George has his own set of problems due to the fact he's the center of a criminal investigation at his father's company where he serves as an exec.   The father is none other than Jack Nicholson, who is giving a typical "I'm Jack, I've made a dozen classic films and this one isn't important so I'm mailing it in..." kind of performance.

Now, this movie is not nearly as bad as you might think.  Made for $120 million, though I cannot for the life of me figure out why this movie cost 120 million (I did see that the salaries for the stars took up about $55 million alone), it only made back around $35 million or so, making it a colossal bomb at the box office.

However comma I thought the movie was kinda funny.  A little overlong, but still kinda enjoyable.  It completely relies on the charm of Owen, Paul and Reese, and though their chemistry might not be as great as you'd like, its the story itself that is lacking.  You end up wanting a little more from all of it, but overall, I was glad I saw it... I guess I was prepared to hate it, and I just couldn't do it.

Wait for it on cable, or spend a buck at the Redbox or something. 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

So, on this episode of "Hoarders", we are still watching the episode with the mice problem.  Its so bad, we just learned a new term for a disease that comes as a result of unattended rat droppings in the house.  The bug guy on tv said, "She thinks she's got four or five mice.  She has hundreds, maybe into the thousands." 

Not good times.  Bad times indeed.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

And that's my Sunday night.  Thanks for reading. =)

The Summer of Blogging Day Thirty Nine

Chicken and Dunkin

If you are reading this on Facebook, I'd love for you to do two things... first, search "Clouds in My Coffee" and join the fan page... secondly, click on over to Clouds In My Coffee and enjoy this page as it was intended... links, background, big, honkin' coffee cup up top... okay, on with the show...

Days off are nice.  Today was President's Day, and as a result, I have three days off from The Happiest Place in the Mall, yesterday being Day One, today being Day Two and Wednesday being Day Three (I was scheduled for work today, and being off tomorrow, but a Magical Higher Up is taking a Magic Carpet to The Happiest Place in the Mall, and I needed to be there and... well, doesn't matter...)

Days off are nice. 

This morning, I did have to spend the first five hours of my days at Starbucks, slingin' some coffee and makin' some caffeine dreams come true, but after 10am, I came home, did some stuff around The Cabana, and by 1130, I finally made my way upstairs.  My intent was to take a shower, then get dressed, maybe watch a movie.  I just purchased "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children" and "The Hangover" on Blu-Ray (neither are Emmy Turnbow safe, so beware), so I could watch either of them... or I could watch the two episodes of WWE: Raw on DVR, including the one after the Royal Rumble... or I could read some of the book I'm trying to dive into, and have made it to page 11 in a week...  and what did I do?

I took a nap.  I don't think I meant to, but I laid down on my comfy bed, with absolutely nowhere to be today and closed my eyes and... when I opened them again, it was a few minutes after 2pm.  And I felt wonderful.

See, days off are nice.  But, Wednesdays aren't as nice to have off as Mondays.  On Wednesdays, even if I have off, many times I have to be at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) for KidStuf practice or for any number of things.  Sometimes I'm not working at The Happiest Place in the Mall, but have to be at Starbucks at 5p or 6p or whatever, so while its a day off, I still have somewhere to be.  Not today.

Around 2pm, I finally threw the blanket back (I don't even think I moved from the position I laid down in, but I did emit a strong stench of Caffe Verona and Zen loose leaf tea) and finally got a shower, and finally got dressed and realized... wow, I'm hungry. 

The Lovely Steph Leann and I had lunch yesterday (Sunday) with St'ray and C'ray after church, visiting O'Chuck's in Alabaster, and... well, we probably ate too much.  It wasn't too much at O'Chuck's, but adding on the Coldstone Creamery dessert probably did it.  As a result, by 8pm last night while The Lovely Steph Leann was mesmerized by the Olympic Icy Gay Dancing on TV, I blogged a bit, even nodding off a few times.   Admittedly, I was talking to Amarilys by Morning (up from San Antone) on Facebook, comparing "wipe out" notes on the moguls going on, but beyond that, I tuned out.  The point is, we weren't hungry.  By the time we were a little hungry, it was kinda too late to eat anything, so we both went to bed without supper.

And my whole point is that I've gone from 1pm Sunday afternoon to about Monday at 230p with no food, save for a Panera bagel that I had at Starbucks... so I'm hungry.  What to eat?  Well... I heard there was a brand new Bojangles Chicken Establishment in Pelham, a nearby suburb of The Ham, so I thought, "Hey, that sounds good.  I'll try it out!"  As I drove that way, I thought about the Dunkin' Donuts that I'd pass on the way, and thought on the way back, I'd stop in there as well.

By 3pm, I pulled into the mostly empty Bojangles parking lot.  Understand, I'm a big fan of Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits, not to mention Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits is a mere five miles from The Cabana, so for me to want to haul my happy tail 12 miles through Birmingham traffic, Bojangles is going to have to be some good eatin'... and I had my hopes high.  My best mate Wookiee even mentioned once that he heard they would have Cheerwine in the fountain as a drink option... life could not be better if that were in fact the case.  In fact, if this restaurant served Cheerwine out of the fountain, I might actually have come home and began open discussions with The Lovely Steph Leann about how The Cabana isn't what we want, and how we should consider making a move out to the Pelham/Alabaster area... but alas, I can already tell you that I won't be calling our real estate agent anytime soon.

I walk in, and the place looks clean... and new.  Which it is.  The drink fountain is on the far end, and there is even a red label on one of the drinks.  Cheerwine?  Maybe?  Maybe?!   They've got a food bar there at the counter, where you order and they serve your food right in front of you.  I stand back for a minute to study the menu, one I've never seen, to decide what I want to eat.  I'm hungry, but don't want to overdo it, saving room for Dunkin' later. 

The girl behind the counter is named Jamerica, she looks to be about 16 or 17, and behind her, doing the serving is another guy with dreadlocks under his Bojangles cap, sans name tag.   Here's the conversation:

Jamerica:  Can I help you?
d$:  Yes, I don't see it on the menu (I point to the big sign close to the front door) but I do want to get the combo there on the sign, the first one.  The 2pc leg & thigh meal.  I'll get macaroni and cheese as my "fixin", please.

Jamerica is at the register, but Dreads is right behind her, poking at her or something.  She turns around, pushes him away, and playfully says, "Stop it now!  I'm trying to take his order!"  She turns back to me.

Jamerica:  Yeah, I'm sorry, he won't quit messing with me!  Now, sorry, I didn't get anything you just said.  What did you want now?
d$: (I point again to the sign) I'd like to get the 2pc leg & thigh meal, with macaroni and cheese, please.
Jamerica, to Dreads: Stop it now!  (back to me) Okay, so you got the leg and thigh meal... and what you say you fixin' was?
d$: The macaroni and cheese.

Jamerica is slowly punching this in her register... it reminds me of Sinbad's old joke about how fast food employees are not the brightest cookies in the Oreo pack, and how nowadays the registers just have picture of the food on the keys, and they just push that button.  While she pushed buttons slowly, Dreads stood there, looking at her slowly punching the buttons.

Jamerica:  Ain't you gonna fix his order?
Dreads: I was waitin' for you to ask (ax?) him whether he was taking it to go or dining in!
d$, without being asked:  I'm dining in.
Dreads:  Oh, okay!

Jamerica swipes my card, which I take back as quick as possible for fear that she swipes it a few times any my $5.40 meal becomes $37.83.  Dreads, to his credit, selected two large pieces of chicken amongst some of the smaller pieces, then looked confused.  Apparently there were two receipts to be given... one to me, showing my purchase, and one to Dreads, showing the actual order.  Mind you, this was pretty simple.  He'd already put the correct pieces of chicken on the plate, so the work was 75% over at this point, he just needed the mac and cheese.

Dreads, looking back at Jamerica:  Hey, 'merica!  Where that receipt at?
Jamerica:  I gave (gay?) you that receipt!
Dreads: No you didn't!  I didn't get no receipt!
d$: Um, I can tell you what I had. 
Dreads: Okay, what you have?
d$: Mac and cheese.  Please.
Dreads:  Oh, that's right!

Dreads would never, ever, never make it at Starbucks.  The first moment that he stood there at the espresso bar, cup in hand, wondering what he was supposed to make would the be the first moment MZ would punt him out the drive thru window.  Actually, I have worked with baristas like that... they don't last long.

Dreads picked up the scooper (!) for the mac and cheese, scoops some out for my plate, then tosses the scooper down, saying, "Man!  That's so hot!  That thing is hot, man!"  I sigh, and finally get my plate of food.  I would have paid an extra $2 to come back there and serve myself, even on the understanding that I could only get the proper amount given.

I was handed my cup, and turned toward the drink fountain.  They've got the regular Pepsi products like Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper and... Cheerwine?  No.  The red label reads "Patio Red Cherry Soda".  Patio?  What the Ellen DeGeneres is a Patio Red Cherry Soda?  Seriously?  Well, what the heck, maybe I'll discover something awesome here.  I fill up my cup with Patio Red Cherry Soda and ice, and take a drink and immediately dump it out.  It was absolutely disgusting.  I look over and see the big vat of tea, that reads "BOJANGLES LEGENDARY SWEET TEA"... well, heck, if its legendary, let's try it.  I would be good to know how it stacks up against Milo's and Zaxby's, two of my favorite sweet teas in town. 

Empty.  The vat was completely empty.  Not even a droplet.  I do that thing where I rinse my cup using the water tab that is attached to the lemonade, and I just fill it up with Mountain Dew.  By the way, I just Googled "patio red cherry soda" and I got nothing.  Like, pictures of tomato cherries came up, along with a few pictures of old bottles and bottlecaps that have Patio Diet Cola and Sun Crest Cherry Soda on it. 

As for the meal, it was okay.  The chicken was pretty good, but not brilliant, and it had big clumps of spice in various places, like it was sitting on the bottom of the pan soaking up the spice powder.  Using the spork wasn't much fun either.  The mac and cheese was nothing special, it was like any other place that does semi-fast food mac & cheese, so while it wasn't great, it was decent.  I liked it better than some other places, but it didn't beat Kraft homemade by any stretch.   The biscuit was hot, but again, not great.  Just good.  Popeye's biscuits beat it hands down... and for that matter, Bojangles was on par with Popeyes, maybe a little under, and definitely not worth the long drive to get there, passing a Popeye's on the way.

I left Bojangles, headed back up Highway 31 with a semi-full stomach, turned onto Highway 119 and pulled into Dunkin' Donuts.

Let's be honest... yes, I work at Starbucks.  And despite the efforts by Dunkin' Donuts to make themselves into this coffee entity, they and Starbucks are two different products.  Don't get me wrong, I understand that many of you like Dunkin' coffee, sometimes even better than Starbucks...

Sidebar... okay, what is it about our nature that makes us want to tell people that while we enjoy the fruits of their labor, we like other fruits as well and sometimes better?  Not only that, every time anybody gets a Starbucks rumor, they like to email it to me with the note "I can't believe Starbucks would do this!" (Kathy Compton, I'm talking to you), and I've had people actually tell me, "Man, I love Starbucks, but I went to Dunkin' Donuts, and their coffee is so good!  They put the cream in it for you--you know, Starbucks doesn't do that--and they know just how to do it and..."

What would Amarilys by Morning (up from San Antone), who runs a small pottery business, think if I told her, "You know, I like your shop, Painted By U, but I went into Sips n Strokes and they have this deal that you don't have, and they know just how to kiln that pottery and..."  That would make me a dorky dorkface.   Just sayin'.

...and so in that, I like Dunkin' Donuts.  They've been known to wear shirts that say "Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Starbucks", which I think is kinda unclassy... but their donuts are great.  As soon as I walked in, there was a line ahead of me.  The little cafe was full of people, many of them sitting around the tables with a box of half-dozen donuts between them.

There's a big cooler there with Coke products (which I'm in favor of at Starbucks... not fountains, but serving them in the bottles), and the place is full of color and life.  There were little stands around the cafe featuring the "Box O'Joe" coffee boxes, some featuring the bags of coffee and other treats and such.  The line moved rather quickly, and when I got to the front, I immediately chose a manager's special (a chocolate covered, vanilla cream filled donut) and then a Bavarian cream filled donut.  FYI, if you are ever wanting to get into the great graces of d$, and are choosing donuts as your weapon of choice, Bavarian cream works.  Every time.  Every.  Time.

For fun, I added four more, making it a half-dozen for $4.49... a dozen was $7.99, but that was too many.  No, silly, I didn't eat them all myself... I stopped by the office of a buddy of mine to say hello, as I was in the area, and dropped them off.   Well, truthbetold, I also had a conversation with another friend of mine about a possible job opening at said office, but that's all I will say about that...

So, to sum up, Bojangles is worth the trip if the trip means you really, really, really want fried chicken and Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits is nowhere to be found.  Dunkin' Donuts is worth the trip if you want donuts and a Krispy Kreme is nowhere to be found.  Between the two, though, its a toss-up. 

But let's be real.  Starbucks has better coffee. 

If only we had Cheerwine.  If only.