to campbell, on your 12th birthday

 Dear Campbell,

I don't understand the math, but somehow you are 12 years old today. You were born in 2011, so if I used all of my fingers, plus two more, counting to this year... yep, 12.  Wow.

So, I read my letter from last year, and I sort of cheated you out of a good note, and for that I'm sorry. I didn't take the time you were owed to share my thoughts with you - I apologize, kid.  So let's hope this one is a little better.

It's been one crazy year - they all seem to be - and maybe I'll say the same thing year after year, but you have grown so much. Your vocabulary is grown by leaps and bounds, not only in what you say, but what you spell out - your thoughts on kindness, on Jesus, on faith, on your love for us and understanding how much we love you... it's mind blowing. 

Lot of growing up for you too this year... finally, at Alabama Splash Adventure park, you got to ride the roller coasters by yourself... I asked you, "Do you want to ride by yourself, or do you want me to ride with you?" you'd say quickly, "By myself."

Your independence is coming, dude. I feel it. 

Of course, I still love the fact you like hanging out with me. Our weekly Saturday afternoon adventures are always memorable, and something I look forward to - our weekly stops at the Joyful Bakery, at Whole Foods, sometimes a Wal-mart, occasionally the mall, and of course, "Homewood Target".  Why? "The elevator!"  You sit in the cart, I wheel you around and get my own steps in, we look at Thomas stuff, books, clothes, Legos, and everything else in our Target trip... though admittedly, soon, you'll be too big for the cart and will be walking everywhere.  Your mom is feeling that now while you are in Disney World with she and GG, because even though we get you the special needs stroller that is larger, it can only hold you for so long.  So, kid, be prepared to walk everywhere soon... though if I'm honest, I think that's what you'd prefer anyway. 

Let's talk music... a few services like Spotify have this thing where they tell you the artists you listen to the most - we don't do Spotify, but we do Apple Music, and I gotta be honest, it's a little annoying because it's all YOU dude.

I mean, seriously. I'm not listening to 
"Rolling in the Deep" 281 times without
some sort of outside coercion

(Pardon me, Campbell, while I explain to the audience what I mean... so each night, as part of our bedtime routine, we listen to music as we get him ready for bed.  Campbell has picked the playlist, and while the first song has rotated some -- we've had Morgan Wallen's "Last Night" and "Before He Cheats" from Carrie Underwood and "Africa" by Toto and Harry Style's "Satellite" to name a few, we are currently on Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know"

The other three songs are staples... "Levitating" by Dua Lipa, featuring the rap by DaBaby, which I of course have to sing... I'm not kidding, it's his request... and then "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele... and finally, "How to Save a Life" by The Fray.  After music, we do our Bible story, but 1 or 2 times per week, we skip the story and do a fifth song, "Your Song" by Elton John.  I like that one, because I get to sing the line "you are the sweetest kid... I've ever seen...". Then we turn out the lights, say our prayers, and go to sleep)

So, because of your songs every night, my Top Ten played was dominated by YOUR music... including "Rolling in the Deep", "Levitating", "How to Save a Life", "Break My Heart" by Dua Lipa (also originally on the rotation before being moved out), and "Your Song".  We have to get to the 9th song on the list before we get to a song that wasn't or isn't on your list - "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry.  Which you'd like that one too if I'd let you have a 6th song. 

ALL that said... I LOVE that you love music. I love that you love piano, that you listen to everything, that you enjoy dcTalk as well as Taylor Swift as well as Elton John, and even some Will.I.Am, though thats from the "Rio" soundtrack.

Your movies this year?  After a year or two of not paying any attention to it, you cycled back to "Rio 2", which has become almost a daily watch... this, of course, was after a few months of daily "Encanto", which followed a few months of daily "Moana", and it's still fun to not only hear you sing the songs, but actually quote lots of dialogue.  

TV? You're still all about GameShow Network, loving you some Cash Cab and Family Feud and American Says ("host John Michael Higgins!") and People Puzzler and much more, though you'll settle in with your mom on the couch and watch Hallmark... granted you have your iPad in hand, volume on, snuggled up so close to her you are almost under her, which led her to start using captions on the TV, but still. 

Okay, last thing before I go... I want to offer you some advice as you grow and finish your elementary school career and head to middle school next year... Campbell, always let kindness carry you. Always.

One of the things we’ve really picked up on this year is your empathetic nature, which is going to be a blessing, and a curse as you grow up. You’re ability, your nature to take on the pain of others, and to feel what they feel, is a remarkable trait that not many people have. As you live your life, you’re going to be able to see and hear things, and know things about people that some other people will miss because they’re just not feeling the emotion of those around them. And God is going to use that gift tremendously to show compassion and care to so many people.

However, middle school is coming, and it’s going to be a gauntlet. This isn't to scare you, but to just remind you that it's something your mom dealt with, I dealt with, nearly all adults have dealt with... it can be wonderful, it can be fun, as you'll meet new people and make new friends and have new adventures that you've never had a chance to before... but it can also be hard.

But let kindness carry you. Not just in middle school, but everywhere you can. In every possible case, don’t just be nice, be kind. 

Sometimes that means saying or doing things that aren’t popular because it's the right thing, the kind thing to do.

Sometimes that means sticking with people who aren’t the best people in many other eyes because that's where kindness carries you. 

But kindness also doesn’t mean to roll over and let people walk all over you. As I've told you before, I want to prepare you for the fact that there are people out there who are just... well, mean. Doesn't mean Jesus doesn't love them - He does. Doesn't mean that we shouldn't love them - we should. But it also doesn't mean we have to like them or be around them.  We don't. 

As you grow up, you’ll have to discern when to stand and when to back down. 

Stick up for those people around you who cannot fight for themselves. Stick up for yourself. And hold close to those friends who will stick up for you. You have an army of older folks, parents, teenagers, friends who would be willing to fight every battle for you they can… But none of us can be there all the time. 

I want to remind you, it won’t be easy. But, I am there for you. Your mom is there for you. Your friends are there for you. And God will always be there for you in a way that none of us ever can be. 

Finally, Campbell, we live in a crazy world, a world where somebody who believes one thing gets super mad at somebody else who believes something different. 

 Campbell and his mom, taken not
long before I published this post. 
He loves Disney World SO MUCH

Our family believes in the death, and risen life of Jesus Christ,  and in that sacrifice, our sins, our bad deeds are covered. Everything we’ve ever done before, everything we ever will do, is covered under the sacrifice of Jesus.  Knowing you have accepted Jesus in your heart is a beautiful thing to us, an answered prayer from the day you were born.  

But there are many people out there who don’t believe that, and while we know and are positive of what we believe in, it is important to remember that we should never make fun of, or treat badly those who believe something different. 

No matter what people believe, they deserve respect. 

Sometimes people will treat you with disrespect, and you just walk away.  Jesus is in your heart and He will be there for you, that I can promise you. 

Okay, I've rambled on long enough. 

I love you so much, more than you can possibly imagine, and I pray every day that your mom and I can be good examples for you as you grow up - I hope you see and feel the love we have for you at all times. 

It's your birthday today, and your mom tells me you were enjoying a birthday burger at Sci-Fi Cafe in Hollywood Studios today, and honestly, it kinda made me a little sad that I wasn't there with you today. But I promise you, we'll enjoy a good meal on your birthday next year.  Of course, you'll be 13 and probably won't want to hang out with me because I'm not cool enough, but I'll try anyway. 

Your mom loves you, your GG and Pops love you, your aunts and uncles and cousins love you, your Granny Jan and PawPaw Randy love you - and Jesus loves you more than all of us put together, times a bajillion.  And that's a lot, my friend, a lot. 

I'll see you in a few days when you return home! 

Love always,

--Dad 

"to campbell on your 11th birthday" link is at the beginning of this post... here is the link "to campbell on your 10th birthday", and the rest of the letters are at the bottom of that post... 

to campbell, on your 10th birthday

This is the 10th in an annual series of letters written to my son, Campbell, who turned 10 in December 2021 - you can find the previous letters at the bottom... 

While I usually write it on his birthday, I didn't get the time to devote to it this year like normal, but I wanted to knock it out before the year officially ended.

Dear Campbell,

Your love for trains did not diminish, as 
evidenced by the 3000 Thomas and Lego Duplo
trains we have, and that stop all the world
if we are around tracks when a train goes by

First of all, kid, what right do you have being ten years old? How did that even happen? How on earth has it been ten solid years since you came to us via Mommy's tummy and God's divine hand? 

If you remember, you were actually supposed to be born two weeks later -- I think December 17th was your expected date -- but you decide to come a wee bit early... your mom had just gone to the hospital for a check up and the doctor said, "Hey Steph, you are having a baby tonight or tomorrow."  And there went the rest of our lives, huh.

Second of all, this year has been... well, I'd say insane but that's typical for our little family. Full of stress, joy, faith and much, much more. 

Usually I fill this note with recaps from the past year, starting with any pop culture things you picked up on... well, without going down that road too much, I can say this is the year you picked up on Top 40 radio.  Okay, so remember when Mom had the grey car, the Honda, and I had the red car? And you rode with me to all of your stuff in the red car?  Mom got a new white car, a Toyota SUV, so this is what you wanted to ride in all the time. Unfortunately, I had satellite radio in my red car, but Mom did not in the white car, nor did she have a CD player, so we listened to Magic 96.5, Mix 97.3, and (sadly enough) 103.7 The Q.

Taken at Ady's Racers in December...
you had a huge grin because it was
a pretty amazing day

And you became a huge fan of Maroon 5, The Wkend, Pink, Lewis   Capaldi, Adele, and especially Dua Lipa. As the songs caught on,   you just listened, learned, and sang -- and you know their other   songs too. When Katy Perry's "Dark Horse" comes on, you yell   "ROAR!" and when The Wkend's "Blinding Lights" played, you   holler "Save... Yo.. Tears for another day..."  You spent the first half of the year obsessed with "Blinding Lights", and the back half of this year all about up Dua Lipa. 

If "Break My Heart" is on, you want  "Levitating." If that one is on, you yell 'BREAK MY HEART!"  And   at bedtime for at least the back half of this year, you ask to hear both of those songs, and if there is time, "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.  And you love "Easy on Me", but I'll be honest with you, I can only handle hearing that one the 38 times they play it per day. 

Of course, it can backfire a bit... we have to watch constantly what is on, as the song title and artist displays on the screen, and I'm not a fan of Doja Cat, whoever the heck that is, and I don't want you walking around saying "Oh My God" (the Adele song) or "[D-Word] It Feels Good to Be Me" (Ed Sheeran). It's bad enough you like to quote Justin Timberlake, saying "Rocka My Body". 

I'm so happy you love music so much. You are doing awesome with piano -- Ms Alaina loves having you.  You do gymnastics now, and you are doing so super good at the vault -- you love just running and hurling your body at a soft mat, which is terrifying to watch, but also fun to watch you come up smiling at a maneuver well done.  

We spend much of the summer at Alabama Splash Adventure - and you finally hit all the slides (except for the free fall slide, which is pretty much a plummet straight down -- you can't do that one right now because you sat up on it and thats bad news).  We spend 3-5 afternoons per week at Next Levl, to the point where they all know by name and give you high fives. We hit any combo of Whole Foods, Publix, Target, and Wal-Mart 3 or 4 times per week, and you love them all. Sprouts too, but the buggies are smaller and you have to walk with me -- and you can be a handful sometimes, champ. 

A lot happened this year in our world around us. It struck me and your mother both how perceptive you probably are right now at everything, and while we don't talk a lot of news around you, you undoubtedly have picked things up along the way. Joe Biden is our president. This note isn't to tell you what you should or shouldn't think based on what we believe -- but as you read this, whatever age you might be, I hope that you have learned from both of us that facts are important. Look at both sides. Then figure out what you believe, and then ask yourself why. 

A great moment in November when we met up with
my very good friend Lindsay in Hollywood Studios,
and it was so cool to have her meet my little family tribe.
FYI, Campbell, like when you met Heather a few 
days prior, you held Lindsay's hand, and was quite 
the flirt.

Sometimes though, faith is all you have... and I think we started to see some of that, especially in May, when I felt like you... well, you had a breakthrough.  RPM, your therapy, has had its ups and downs. Sometimes we walk out and I'm excited you've just done so well. Other times, its been a tad bit frustrating. And sometimes we leave, and I'm all like "Well, ok. Guess that was that."

And sometimes you bust through and say whats on your mind. Back in May, with Ms Lanae, she asked you the questions and you answered. You told her that you needed more Jesus in your life. You told her that your super power was C-A-R-I-N-G.  You said your mom was cool... and your dad too. You said you loved school. When asked if a boy or a girl would be better at something like engineering, you said "does it matter?" 

Along the way in those specific sessions, this also happened -- I'll just pull from the Facebook post I wrote on May 7, 2021... Steph and I have been saying for years that he has a lot to say, he just isn't sure how to say it. This week, I've watched him speak. I've heard what he's had to say. And I'm over the moon hearing his thoughts. Simple, some sorta philosophical, some random, some just black and white.

At RPM, his communication therapy, he spent time answering open ended questions, never being led to an answer, he said the following... and these are pretty much verbatim, not embellished for impact.

--"It is fine to hope I never grow up"

--"Old people think they know everything"

--When asked (as part of a conversation about stereotypes) if he thought girls or boys would be better at science and math, he responds, "I think it don't matter"

--"One hour is long for me"

--Regarding being emotional, "it's bad to cry too much" (he's a sensitive soul)

--"Screaming is not bad if you mean to agree to stop head from hitting on the wall"

--When asked what language he wanted to learn, he said "French". When asked why, he said "It is a Floody language". When asked what is 'floody' about French, he said "It floods your head with sounds."

--"I find it weird in life I sometimes smile..." (he didnt get a chance to finsh this statement, as someone interrupted, but I do wonder where he was going with this.)

Autism. Always presume competence. And underestimate Campbell Dollar at your own peril.

Campbell, we love you so much. We love that you still believe in Santa, even at 10--or at least you play it off. We love that you are using your imagination so, so much right now. We love that you sing constantly, that you are such a helper at school (to the point where the teachers have to tell you that they can handle the leadership part, and you can just sit). We love that you love on your friends Hillary and Jack and Lily and more.

We love that Kindness is a central theme with you. We know it means something.

And obviously I have no proof, but I feel it in my soul that you and God have a connection. Whether He talks to you, or you talk to Him, or (more likely, it happens both ways, your mom and I want you to never forget how much Jesus loves you, died for you, rose for you, and will never stop loving you.

When asked about places you'd like to go, you told Ms Lanae... "I want to go to Washington. And be president. And hit the world with kindness" (direct quote from C Dollar) We love you, son. Your Dad

Birthday letters to Campbell...

9th birthday

8th birthday

7th birthday

6th birthday

5th birthday

4th birthday

3rd birthday

2nd birthday

1st birthday

to campbell, on your 9th birthday

I was just taking a look and realized I've blogged just one single time in 2020, and it was my thoughts on a hate crime and tragedy.

May my words be much lighter and full of more love here.  

Here is my annual open letter to my son on his birthday. 

Riding with your Dad, cheesin, wearing
Mommy's vintage Leia shirt from 1983

Dear Campbell, 

My my what a year it has been.  As you get older, begin to understand pop culture and catch phrases and references, "2020" will be one for the books.  

So, there was this pandemic, see... basically, a virus came into our country, swept through the country, scared a lot of people, many people died, many more got it and were fine, and so on.  I'm sure you and I will talk about the finer points of all of this one day, but 2020 was the Coronavirus year. 

It didn't start out that way. January was a fine month, fine indeed, and I even got to go to Disneyland for my job and meet some really cool people -- I talked about you a lot.  Kobe Bryant, a legendary NBA player died in January from a helicopter crash, the Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl, and the only music I really enjoyed from 2020 was a song called "Blinding Lights" from The Weeknd and music from a chick named Dua Lipa.  

There was also some song released called "WAP", but you aren't allowed to listen to it -- not so much because of the lyrics, but because I'm raising you to have taste.

It's hard to even talk about 2020 movies this year because so many of them came out on streaming services. Someone told me the other day "Can you believe 'Birds of Prey' came out THIS YEAR?!" and I actually had to go look that up to confirm, because this year has been so insane.

I keep going back to how crazy this year has been... in March, enough people had gotten this virus that basically the country shut down.  Movie theaters closed. Many restaurants closed, and the ones that did stay open only did drive thru or curbside. Wal-Mart decided it was going to close at 6pm instead of being open 24/7, grocery stores closed at 5 or 6, churches closed doors and went online, and when you came home for Spring Break, you didn't go back, as schools went virtual.

And it was really, really tough.  On our entire family. Your Mom started working from home, and we still had to get you up to try to do things online with your class -- and of course, you weren't really into that, so that was a struggle. Truthfully, I feel guilty sometimes because I feel like me not pushing you more may have set you back further, but I promise, we did what we could. 

This summer, we did our best to stay busy... we started riding bikes together, and honestly, that was a proud moment as a Dad for you. Yes, the training wheels are still on, but we'll get there. We hit Splash Adventure four or five times this summer, including once when you sat up on the 75 foot tall slide and nearly gave me a heart attack. 

You spent a little time with your friend Hillary, kinda your BFF, and watching your face the day Jack & Lily stopped by this summer was so amazing.  I hope your first instinct is always to give a handshake or a hug when you see your friends. 

2020 was the year you went all in on trains. 
Obsessed with Thomas, and in your Mom's
absence, we went on train hunts.

It's been fun to watch you at Next Levl too... I've watched you conquer those trampolines one by one, climbing up, falling backwards, failing to get back up to the ledge, whining, then trying it again. You persevere, Campbell -- its one of your attributes. 

You did get to go some this summer to a shortened summer school schedule, and you finally got to go back in September, albeit a crazy schedule. 

The Disney trip we had planned for March, the one where you saw the doctor in Florida was pushed back to May... then June... then September... then late September... but we got to go!!!

And you had your first waffles and pancakes (and syrup, which you dipped everything in, from your bread to your meat). And your first ham sandwich. And your first hamburger.  

And I'm proud to say, your first Blue Milk from Star Wars Galaxy's Edge.  And you loved it. 

Of course, you went all in on trains, including Thomas the Tank Engine -- our living room floor looks like a flippin stockyard. And all in on YouTube... by the way, you are obsessed, and probably need an intervention. 

Then... November came. 

And Campbell, this is where I have to brag on you and tell you how proud I am of you.  Every year when I do these online letters to you, hoping that one day you will read and absorb, I try to teach you a little something. Last year, we talked a little about kindness.  The year before, it was about Truth. And before that, it was Respect. 

This year? Adaptability.  And you showed all of us how good you are at it. 

I went away early in November for a few days, and Aunt Becky came to stay with us. And she was already not feeling great. Mommy had to take her home, to Aunt Becky's house, while you and I stayed here together... and no, you weren't happy that first night, but when we called to talk to Mommy and Aunt Becky, she (Becky) asked you "How much does Aunt Becky Love you??".  You replied "SOOOO MUCH" -- that was your thing with her, remember?  I don't know if you know, but that would be the last thing you'd say to her. And honestly, that's a good one to go out on.

Aunt Becky went to the hospital and didn't get better, then Mommy got sick with -- you guessed it, coronavirus.  And when Aunt Becky went to be with Jesus, Mommy and I fretted over how to tell you.  

On a Sunday afternoon, I finally just gave it to you -- Aunt Becky passed away and wouldn't be coming to see us anymore. You looked at me, then put on your shoes and were ready to go.  

Do you remember that day? I think you processed, and did so for much of the day. 

Your mom was gone for over two weeks... and you handled it like a champ. You didn't meltdown (much) you didn't freak out (much) and you didn't cry and scream because routine was so insane and upside down. You handled it. 

One of my fave pics of us, after getting soaked on
Splash Mountain, me losing my hat, and you having
just come down from a meltdown of epicness. 
Just the two of us. 

And I cannot tell you how proud I am of you for that. Had you had freak out moments, had you melted down every day, I'm not sure I could have handled it. 

But God took care of you, and me, and of course Mommy, who came back to us after 16 days, healthy and maybe a little tired.

Campbell, you adapted. You rolled with it, and kept on. And that is a huge trait to have. 

I know this letter is so much different from year's past, when I just gave you a recap and told you your accomplishments, but this year has been different, so it works somehow.

Welcome to 9 years old, my dear son. We love you more than you'll ever know... and still can't compare with the love that Jesus has for you. This year we began our nightly prayers together, and we'll keep praying for our family, for our friends, for our church and our pastor, for our country and our President, and that one day you'll find Jesus in your heart. Honestly, I've thought for a while now that you have your own conversations with God internally. He knows how to talk to you in ways we can't. Hopefully, you can tell me on your own one day if I was right. 

Finally, as I was driving the other day, I heard Will Smith's great remake of Bill Withers classic "Just the Two of Us"... from a father to a son, here are the lyrics I'll leave you with:

Feel the strife, but trust life does go wrong
But just in case, it's my place to impart

One day some girl's gonna break your heart
And ooh ain't no pain like from the opposite sex
Gonna hurt bad, but don't take it out on the next, son
Throughout life people will make you mad

Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
'Cause hate in your heart will consume you too
Always tell the truth, say your prayers

Hold doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears
You're living proof that dreams do come true
I love you and I'm here for you

With love,

Dad

to campbell, on your 8th birthday

Dear Campbell,

This is your annual letter - its meandering, because I have so much to tell you, so much to remind you of, to say, so just bear with me as I try to recap your accomplishments and struggles, and the year as a whole... 

I'm not sure what happened this year... I'm not sure when you turned the corner or at what point -- maybe minute, second, week, day, hour -- you suddenly became a premonition of who you are going to become. All this week, I've looked at your mom and whispered, "Can you believe we are about to have an 8 year old?" and she just shakes her head. Because I think Year 7 has been the biggest year yet for you.

Let's recap a little, okay?

My favorite book so far this year was a book about 9/11, but your favorite is a four way tie between "Me and My Dad" and "Mighty Mighty Construction Site" and "Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site" and "Going on a Bear Hunt".  A four way tie because I've read all four of those books to you just about every single night since probably early spring, when you edged Jack B Ninja out of the rotation.  My book goal for the year is 50, and I'm only on 34, so I probably won't get there, but I plan on counting those four, if only because I've read them so much, I know them by heart. Can't tell you how many times I've literally recited "Bear Hunt" front to back to you in Wal-Mart.

"Avengers: Endgame" ended the 10 year long Marvel storyline at the movies, and I'm excited for you to get into these in the coming years. I also loved "Knives Out" and "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood", though I don't expect you to see either of those for a while. On that last one, a long while.

Can't tell you a lot about TV, honestly -- there are over 500 TV shows on the air this year, and I watch hardly any of them... though Disney+ dropped in November, and boy have we been feasting on "The Mandalorian" and "The Imagineering Story" and the quirky Jeff Goldblum show.  And you've enjoyed a movie or  two here and there...

President Trump is still there, and as I said last year, politics remains a nasty business. But Trump did sign a pretty great autism bill this year that will hopefully help you for years to come (having said that, I don't know all the specifics, but it seems solid).  My contention has always been that I want you to make up your mind on what you believe, but know why you believe it, not just taking an opinion off of a news network or social media platform as gospel.  Otherwise, let's talk about this when you are older.

So many friends this year. Seriously... sometimes I want to tell myself, "The teachers are just trying to encourage you by saying he has lots of friends", but no -- I've seen it in action this year and last.  The kids around you love you at school... maybe its because your hugs are indiscriminate, maybe its because your affection is unconditional, or maybe its because you like to smile and giggle and laugh all the time. Either way, I hope it never stops.

We got to go to birthday parties at soccer parks and trampoline parks and gymnastic parks and more, and of course, a class field trip to McWane Center, where you were all over that "Itty Bitty City" display and that play firetruck set up. And one of your buddies, Jack, was all over you -- it was so great to see it.

Our trip to Disney World in March was fantastic... the awesome Cast Member gave us a short wait time for your new favorite ride, Slinky Dog Dash (dude... you LOVED that attraction...) but man, that head banging thing was terrible. We were worried about you for weeks and weeks, watching you just suddenly bang your head on everything. We hope and pray that is a phase that never, ever comes back.

Your first horseback ride was last December, right after
you turned 7, but you loved it so much you did it
here too. 

Your year also included more swimming lessons with Ms Keri, and some over the summer with Ms Beca, horseback riding with Ady's Army events, lots of playground and park times, and even riding in a race car around a racetrack.  You saw your first movie in theaters -- "Toy Story 4" -- and by "saw" , I mean "you ran around until Mommy and GG finally had to take you out because you were running crazy.  You did, however, get to see your first symphony concert, and we gave you a little room to move... and you lasted the entire 30 minutes. GO YOU.

And wow did your musical side come out this year -- you're already playing piano, and your teacher Ms Alaina is sure that you can tell tone. Plus, as much as you love to sing, who knows what you can do with that!

Remember how I've told you before that you got into movies like "Rio" or "Cars 2"?  Well this year, it was Toy Story movies.  I think I've seen Toy Story 2 about 388 times this year... and you know what, that's okay too. And let's be clear... you liked the commercials off of the DVR recorded movies just as much as the movie itself. Hence your fascination with Fiji Water and Liberty Mutual (Ibah-tee Ibah-tee IBBAAAHTEEE) and Farmer's (We Ah Fahmah Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba) and so on.

Your talking has gone through the roof. I don't know how many words you have, but I daresay in the hundreds, maybe thousands by now. You can site read like a beast -- at the end of the year "awards", your teacher Bette Davis Eyes gave you one, saying, "This boy reads every word he sees, so the Best Sight Reading Award goes to... CAMPBELL!"  And your classmates cheered as you wandered up front, got your certificate that your mom and I gooed over while you were just Meh, and came back and finished your ice cream I got you.

You're reading is incredible. You read words I didn't know you'd even know... that's my fault, I should always assume that you know what is up, but forgive me for not giving you the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Of course, we still can't make you fully grasp the concept of "If you eat breakfast, we can leave. But you can't leave until you eat. This then that." but we'll get there, I'm sure.

Mitchell's Place will always be a part of our family, as it truly
changed your life, our lives, and the trajectory of our family. And Jordyn
and Audrey (and Piper too!) were a part of that.

You finally ended your tenure at Mitchell's Place, and it was difficult. We loved Jordyn and Audrey, they were amazing with you, and I know you loved them -- and all your MP gals, like Whitton and Glenda and Emily and Emil-I-E and Emma Leigh and I'm not making those up, there were that many Emilies.  You still ask to go there from time to time... maybe one day we can visit. Or you can -- if you are old enough to read this, you might even be driving by now!


Myself and your mom had to make some tough decisions about you this year too. We had two therapies in front of us, one recommended, one fairly new but had seemed successful with those around you... so after weeks of praying about it, seeking wisdom and counsel, we went with the new therapy. And kid, you are rocking it.

I've been there when you are answering open ended questions, giving answers that proved you were listening, even though you were running around the room Mach 3 with your hair on fire. Several of the therapists have had the same conclusion -- you are brilliant. You are more perceptive and smarter than any of us know or give you credit for, we just have to figure a way to bring that out. I'm confident we will.  It's your world, Campbell, we just get to live here.

You left your beloved Mrs Carnes (aka Bette Davis Eyes) last year in kindergarten and moved to 1st grade, with Mrs Coston, who you also love. You got some new classmates, but some from last year were still in your class. I know you love you some Lilly, as it's been awesome to watch you two play together at Next Levl park or when we all went to the pumpkin patch -- she even asked to sit with you on the way back, and just last week, she all but ditched the friends she was with to run with you at Next Levl.

And your new friend Hillary is quite awesome too -- she loves your attention, and she loves giving you the same, and it's no wonder you guys are fast friends. I hope this keeps up as you get older, and both Lilly and Hillary, and several others, will know that they are a part of your story as you grew.

Watching Hillary read to you was pretty amazing,
and it might have been a little dusty on that
porch that afternoon.

Your anthem this year has to be "In the Light" by DC Talk. See, you used to go to kid's choir, until you finally just grew tired of it -- but we got a CD to play in the car, which you just lapped up in every ride. But I decided to add a little more fun stuff to it, notably the "Sister Act 2" version of "Joyful Joyful" and "In the Light"... took you a little while, but you got into it... and now you sing "In the Light" all day.

We know that God's word does not come back void, so singing a song about a desire to forgo ourselves and be immersed in the goodness of Christ is surely not being sung in vain. Even when you get upset and then ask me to sing "IN DA WITE SING IN DA WITE" because it comforts you...

No kid, you don't get that when you've disobeyed.

Same with your mom and "HOUSA FUN SING HOUSA FUN" (which is a song called "Get a Little Crazy", where he takes the line "all in this together and we're having fun" and turns it into "Housa fun".)

Okay, let's wrap this up... in the last few letters, I started introducing some things I wanted you to know about, including "respect" and "truth". I want to tell you about "kindness" today. I've watched people treat you with such pure and loyal kindness this year, I want you to understand it and not take it for granted.

Kindness is treating someone with respect, no matter who they are and where they are, and perhaps treat them with understanding, care, and love.  Perhaps going above and beyond for someone in a way they wouldn't expect. Like saying hello to the kid by himself on the bench, or even playing with him. By not joining in when other kids make fun of someone, or even sticking up for that person. By helping out someone who needs a hand, even if it inconveniences you.

Being kind is the right thing to do. Truth isn't always kind, but telling the truth sometimes in the kindest thing you can do for someone. But don't let someone take advantage of your kindness -- if someone decides to abuse your kindness, then don't turn around and treat them with malice or anger. Just step back.  You should default to being kind to people, but hold strong to your convictions.

We love you very much.  Remember that Jesus loves you more than we ever could, though, and that he truly died for you and gave to you a gift that we could never match, and we always pray for you that one day you'll understand the gift of salvation.

Be respectful. Tell the truth. Be kind.  If you can do those things... continue to do those things... you'll be farther ahead than many people will get.

Eight looks awesome on you, Campbell Isaiah.

With love muchly,
Your Dad

Previous letters...
To Campbell, on your 7th Birthday
To Campbell, on your 6th Birthday
To Campbell, on your 5th Birthday
To Campbell on your 4th Birthday
To Campbell, on your 3rd Birthday
To Campbell, on your 2nd Birthday
To Campbell, on your 1st Birthday

the gift of the mayo

We have a friend named Rachel. She's in her 20s, and adorably cute--I used the word "mousy" once as a compliment, and thankfully, she took it as just that. She's been married to her soulmate boo Brett for many months, and The Lovely Steph Leann and I really enjoy her company when she's in town.

A few weeks ago, she was in fact in town, working on a local conference, and let us know where she'd be. Obviously, we made plans for dinner, and while The Lovely Steph Leann couldn't make it, our friends McQ and her new hubby JP came, as did our friend Amy McL... we agreed to all meet up with Rachel at the brand new Newk's eatery that had opened the week prior.

And it was a grand time, with laughter and love, fellowship and friendship, with old friends like Mc!, Amy McL and myself sharing tales of many days before, while new friends like JP listened intently and chimed in, and Rachel shared her own stories of her job and her new married life. 

I had Campbell Isaiah with me as well, and Rachel and Campbell have formed a friendship... well, sort of. When she stayed at our house a few months back (on the eve of McQ's and JP's wedding, no less), Campbell took to Rachel immediately. While she tried to work on a project on our dining room table, he kept coming up to her, interrupting her with his cuteness. She would hug him, or play with him, or show him a little love, then turn back to her project... and then a few minutes later, here he comes bounding up again. The Lovely Steph Leann would call for him to step back, to let her work and to quit bothering her, but Rachel insisted it was no bother--and I believed her.

She and Brett have no children of their own, and will probably "be married" for a while before they do, but more than once she's told me that she wants a baby sooner than later. So the notion of Campbell coming up and showing her attention is just a little slice of paradise here on Earth for Rachel Mayo.

Granted, Campbell does do this kind of interaction with a few other people--but it is only a few people. He's not shy, but he doesn't just love on just anyone. Don't know his criteria yet, but Rachel meets it.

I can't tell for sure, but when he saw her again a few weeks back, I'd like to think he remembered her, and in fact did give her a little Campbell Kiss (which is, take the pacifier out, lean over, plant his lips somewhere on your face--usually your lips, but it can be your cheek, nose, chin or elsewhere--put the paci back in and turn away like "that's all you get, so enjoy it"). Usually I have to say "Campbell, give ____ a kiss" for him to do it--with Rachel, he did it on his own.

So it's easy to say out of the hundreds of people I've become friends with through social media networks, Rachel is someone who has connected with our family more than most. Yes, we met Rachel through Facebook... and it's hard to explain, so I just won't try right now.

Campbell is a very sensory oriented child. He knows how to work a cell phone like crazy, as he flips through apps and can take pictures (not very good ones, but on par with some that are on Facebook pages belonging to the 19 year old who bought an expensive DLR camera and decided to come up with a catchy name for their newly opened photography business, despite not even knowing what DLR stands for--can you tell I find this to be extremely funny?) and he loves the stocks applications, where he watch the lines up and down, and things refresh.

Currently, he has an iPhone 3 to call his own, though it's a little older and worn, and it's battery dies down fast from the three or four straight hours of use he gives it at one time.

The crown jewel of gifts for Campbell would be an iPad. He is in therapy at a local place here in town, and they use iPads during their sessions to teach various things. While the iPhone becomes like a babysitter sometimes for Campbell, an iPad would be an invaluable learning tool, once we get the right apps on it.

But they are expensive, which is why we haven't gotten him one yet. 

So imagine my surprise when Rachel did.

At the end of dinner, Rachel pulls out a bag and says, "This is for Campbell's birthday! Happy birthday Campbell!" I smiled, thinking a book or a toy of some sort, and appreciative of Rachel's thoughtfulness. I debated about whether to open it there or wait til later, but decided to open it there--I pulled out the green tissue paper, and grasped something that felt firm like a large book, but cold to the touch.

I pulled it out, pulled back the tissue and there was a silver iPad in my hands. I looked at it, and looked at Rachel, back to the iPad and back to Rachel. I simply said, "This is an iPad? Rachel... I mean..."

She smiled and quickly explained that they had gotten new versions, and she wasn't sure what to do with that one. She apologized for it having her name on the back, said that she knew it would help Campbell to have one, and then added for good measure, "I wouldn't want anyone else but Campbell to have it." 

For one of the few times in my life, I was rendered nearly speechless. I stammered a few words of something, then wiped a couple of tears away noticed how badly my allergies were acting up, and how much dust was in the restaurant.

She got our son an iPad. It was as good as brand new, it's in nearly flawless condition and it looks amazing. A little boy who she only knows from pictures on Facebook, from the stories I briefly tell on social media and on this blog, she has taken to her own heart to love, and to encourage and love on myself and The Lovely Steph Leann...

...who, by the way, had much the same reaction when she opened the bag at home. She was nearly floored too, and was nearly speechless as well. 

By the way, we haven't given it to him yet. Two things we are waiting on--first, to get a cover for it. No parent gives their children any sort of electronic anything without some sort of protective casing to go on it. Second, we are waiting to talk to his therapy teachers to find out the best way for Campbell to use it. Like I said, the iPhone is really for play, so we want the iPad to serve a real purpose.

And no, I haven't used it for my own benefit. Not saying I won't watch a movie with it or something in the future, but it is in fact Campbell's iPad, and even is now labeled that once you plug it into iTunes.

Anyway... thank you, Rachel. You are beautiful and wonderful, and we love you greatly. We hope you have an incredibly awesome Christmas, take care of that man of yours, and you'll always have a place to stay when you come to town. And a little boy who will greet you with a hug and kiss. 

Find Rachel's Etsy shop, Rachel B Designs, by clicking here.
You can find her on Twitter @rachelcmayo and on Instagram @rachelbodinemayo

to campbell, on your 3rd birthday

Dear Campbell,

Celebrate! Today you are three, count 'em, three years old! Your Mom and I were just saying to each other a few minutes ago how we can't believe that three years have gone by since the day you were born. 

So, let's talk about the last year, since I wrote you a note for your 2nd birthday... movies? My favorites of the year are, as typical as it may seem, superhero films, like "Guardians of the Galaxy" and "Captain American: the Winter Soldier" and Disney's "Big Hero 6". Christopher Nolan directed this grand space epic called "Interstellar", and it looks awesome and is in fact, just average. A little seen movie came out this summer called "Snowpiercer" that I recommend you find and watch... it's pretty amazing. And of course, "The LEGO Movie". There might be five of them by now, but the original is pretty great.

The music that really hit big, for me anyway, was the Cuban rapper named Pitbull, who had a song called "Fireball", which made me smile all year. This chick named Jessie J teamed up with this other chick named Ariana Grande and made this rockin' pop song called "Bang Bang", which I'm addicted to. Neither me nor your mom like the Nicki Minaj part... and honestly, when you do read this, I wont be surprised if you have no clue who Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj are, because nowadays, musicians come and go quickly. Even the ones thought to have had staying power fizzle fast--Lady Gaga, anyone?

You, getting ready for school

Back to music, Meghan Trainor had this catchy little ditty called "All About that Bass", but do me a favor, either find my iPod or head to YouTube and look up the version by Scott Bradley and the Postmodern Jukebox, featuring Kate Davis. If you appreciate this version even more than the original, I'll know I raised you right.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention a little album called "1989" by Taylor Swift, featuring what is sure to be a classic called "Shake It Off". Enjoy.

We've seen you grow a lot this year, Monkey Butt. We've gotten you involved in more therapy and group sessions, and you are signing like crazy now... you have the sign for "more" down pat, and you use it without restraint when it comes time to eat. More. More. More. And on and on.

You have learned how to sign "open" as well, and frankly, its adorable. I think you are on the verge of actually jumping up and down, but you aren't quite there yet. No, you aren't talking just yet... but you babble incessantly. On one hand, its incredibly cute and encouraging... on the other hand, sometimes at 6am, it's a little much for me to deal with. I wish you'd pick your times more selectively about when you decide to loudly start talking your language. 

You rode your first roller coaster this year... in fact, a few weeks ago. It was all kinds of amazing, by the way. When we were in Disney World at the beginning of November... and can I say, you've just had your second Disney World haircut already--you've been to WDW three times and Disneyland once, which is about four times more than many people go in their lives.

Anyway, you were just tall enough to ride The Barnstormer, a small kids coaster in Storybook Circus in New Fantasyland. Your mom, Pops and myself were a little nervous taking you on, but you sat with Mommy, and as the coaster car slowly made it's way up the hill, I could hear you. You were giggling, you were squealing, you were laughing and having the time of your life. I wiped away tears, as my smile nearly broke my face.

The Cast Members then let you ride again, this time with me. I heard your laughter and delight up close this time, and felt you pat my arms in excitement, and watching your face and you smile and laughed, looking around at the bright lights of the Disney World night, staring in wonder. And the Cast Members, one of them almost crying herself when she heard our little story of who you were and how this was your first coaster, let us ride twice more. This time you rode with Pops and you couldn't get enough.

You laughed at the teacups, and you even recognized some characters, as you smiled big when you saw Tigger bouncing on The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh ride. This was a huge thing for all of us, but especially for you.

Campbell, you are our son, and we love you so much. And you are loved not just by your Mom and Dad, or your Pops and GG or aunts and uncles or your Granny and PawPaw, but by so many other friends and people, some of whom have never even met you, but only seen your picture and heard the amusing stories and the funny stories and the heartbreaking stories. 

The teacups... I love spinning you around, kiddo.

You are prayed for more than you will ever realize, by so many people. My first and foremost prayer, even in front of you coming through the autism that hinders you, is that you will find Christ one day, and know He is your Savior. Everything else is just blessings under the bridge. Though I do pray that what keeps you held back--you are three today, but still at around a 15 month level developmentally--will just fade away. I am positive it will, I am positive you'll catch up to everyone and positive that you will live the life that He has for you.

I just hope you can look back where you are as you read this and know that your Mom did all she could for you and that I tried as hard as I could as well.

You are handsome, you are strong, you are a whiz (anyone who has seen you move two chairs into position so you can properly climb them in order to reach a cell phone hidden in the middle of the dining room table will attest to this) and you are a mischievous little boy, just like all other three year olds.   By the way, your fascination with phones and tablets is a little crazy... hopefully, by now, you've learned that just because you see a phone, that doesn't mean it's yours. 

But you know your way around one... it's funny to watch you play with one, swiping and moving things around.  And for whatever reason, the stocks app fascinates you.   Oh, and this year, you also learned to paint... "He takes his time with the brush," says your teacher.

Told you that you were smart. 


Three years old looks great on you, Campbell Dollar. 

Love you, Monkey Butt

--your Dad

to campbell on his first birthday (post 900)

This is post #900.  I had something a little more "elaborate" for this "milestone", but is it really a milestone?  Its just moving from the 800s to the 900s.  So I waited for today to blog, a day with a little something to it.  Yes, its been over a month, and for those of you who kept checking the site on a regular basis looking for new content, thank you.  I really appreciate you sticking with me.  And yes, Clouds in My Coffee rolls on.  But here is what I wanted to say tonight...

Dear Campbell,

This is your dad.  Today you celebrated your first birthday . You don't remember anything about it, I am fairly certain, and I'm guessing now if you are reading this, you are probably about 10 or 11.  Maybe 9.  Maybe 13, I dunno.  What year is it, 2023?   The point is, this is your Dad's blogsite that, I'd like to think, is still going strong with somewhere around 4,000 posts--or maybe it ended in 2013, before I got to 1,000, who knows.

You were born one year ago on this date.  Yesterday, a year ago, I got a call from your mom that things were progressing quicker than we thought... And it was the next day, or today-one year-that you came to meet us... (it was a week later when we brought you home)

This was you, maybe two weeks old.  You've grown a little since.

Your birth was actually 4:37p in the afternoon, and my plan was to write this up and have it posted at exactly that time today, but that didn't happen.  Today was filled with cleaning up The Cabana (where we live at this moment), anticipating your birthday party.  And if you know your mom, she was trying to get things done and cleaned and wiped down and such... trust me, I thought it was a bit silly to spend a ton of money on a party you don't remember, but by now, I'm sure you've seen the pictures. 

What to tell you about your first year?  Well, the biggest songs of the year belongs to a dude named Gotye, called "Somebody That I Used to Know"... a chick named Carli Rae Jepsen doing a tune called "Call Me Maybe"... and some pop star from Korea named Psy, doing this goofy song called "Gangnum Style".  If you've never heard of it, go find it on whatever version of iTunes you have on your 17th generation iPod Touch or whatever.

For movies, "The Avengers" is really all you need to know.  Cause that movie was awesome, and by the time you read this, you will have seen it about 2,000 times, thanks to me.  And if  the latest Star Wars movies were awesome (or awful), then this is the year that it all went down with Disney and Lucasfilm.

But that's not why I'm writing this open letter to you, for the world to read.  I'm writing this to tell you how much I love you, Campbell.

I watched a movie yesterday, while you slept in my arms.  You had your bottle and were totally zonked out.  You have (had?) this thing with your pacifier where you suck on it... but when you get sleepy and are drifting, the paci moves less and less... and eventually, it falls out of your mouth... gotta say, its darn cute.

Anyway, it was this movie from 1996 called "Ransom", starring Mel Gibson and one of your dad's favorite actresses from his teenage years, Rene Russo (she was also in Lethal Weapon 3 and 4, and Major League, both some of my favorite movies)... and in this movie, they play the parents of a kid named Shawn.  The kid is kidnapped by the bad guy--Gary Sinise, who was in "Forrest Gump" and a few other films, and he's also the lead commander guy in Mission: Space at Epcot.  Well, he was in 2013, anyway.

I hope I don't spoil this for you--its a decent film, though a bit predictable, so unless you just find it on Starz in Black or something, I wouldn't make a huge effort to see it... but towards the end, there is a scene where both Tom (Mel) and Susan (Rene) thinks that Shawn has been shot and killed... and they both have deep emotional breakdowns on the balcony.  Now, this is a movie I've seen several times over... but not really since you came into our lives... and as I watched Tom and Susan cry, fall apart, I actually teared up a little.  Because, though I tried not to, I imagined what would happen if we lost you.  And I could barely finish the movie.

You probably know I'm a big Stephen King fan... one his first books is called "'Salem's Lot", and though I won't go into the plot line (unlike "Ransom", this book is something I can highly recommend--when you're older, anyway), there is a part where a teenage mom is frustrated at her newborn baby, and she ends up striking him in anger, punching him in the face.  I usually re-read this book every year around Halloween, and in October 2011, this part came and went, only adding to character development... well, this time, in October 2012, this part turned my stomach, because I couldn't imagine anyone hurting you (or any other child) like this.  It gave me chills.

Our jobs as your parents are to protect you, and we'll do our best.  We will fail sometimes, and sometimes you'll catch heat for things you didnt do, and sometimes we may punish you too harshly for something small, or inconsistantly, and then other times, it might be that we are too distracted to talk to you and so on... we aren't perfect.  But we love Jesus, and we are hoping you will find Him too, one day. 

Make sure its real and that you understand it before you make the that step, though.  See, Campbell, your mom and I... we love you so, so much.  And in loving you so much, we want what's best for you.  Trust us when we say, what's best for you is, in fact, a life in Christ.  It won't be easy.  It will be tough, as a matter of fact.  But God promises to love you, take care of you, give you hope and a future.  As much as we love you, He loves you a billion times more than we ever could... and He wants to take care of you. 

We love watching you learn new things.  Lately, you've learned how to open drawers and cabinets... and even more so, you are just now figuring out there is stuff IN those drawers and cabinets.  You love crawling up to the dryer and banging on it with your hands, because you love the hollow sound.  And you will go up those stairs like no one's business. 

You are very healthy, you seem pretty happy, and we are proud to be your parents.  You are one today.  We only get about 1/4 of your life to raise you right, and out of the 18 years we have, we have 17 left now.  Wow. 

Now I'm going to go to bed--where you might be sleeping.  I love you, my sweet son. 

And happy birthday.

your dad

ps... please stop messing with the Blu-Ray Player.  I hate having to keep un-plugging and re-plugging it. 

pps... I know tonight at your party was kind of loud and obnoxious.  This is called "Alabama Football Gameday".  Your dad is a Florida fan, but everyone else belongs of the Roll Tide Nation.  Get used to the yells.

Birthdays and Babies

So, The Lovely Steph Leann bought me something great for my birthday... its The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition on Blu-Ray.   Its a wonderful set, six discs, tons of special features, plus digital copies of all three movies, in case I want to take 17 different lunch breaks at work to watch it on my iPod.

Thank you to my darling wife for this incredible addtion
to my movie shelf...

The problem with this?  I already had it.  I had already gotten it... and I hesitated, smiled and finally said, "um... I've already got it..."  She just frowned.  A few minutes later she handed me the receipt.  She shrugged, "I wish you'd tell me before you buy stuff that I might get you for your birthday.  Next time I'll just give you money."

But she shouldn't fret... what she'll end up getting me, and by "she" I mean "me" with the money I got back from taking LOTR back to Best Buy, is the Star Wars Saga six movie Blu-Ray released in September.   What a great birthday present.

But still, my darling wife did get me Lord of the Rings.  And I love her for it.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

We got our baby furniture a few weeks ago.  Whew.

Understand the The Lovely Steph Leann is quite picky when it comes to furniture.  She's not necessarily someone who wants the most expensive stuff out there, but she does want quality and she wants something that will last.  And when she's looking for a piece of furniture, its a lot of "eh" and "yeah, that's nice" and "I guess that's kinda cute" until she finds "it".  When she stumbles on exactly what she is looking for--it's one of those "know it when she sees it" kind of things--then that's it.  But, she always calls me or tells me about it before she purchases anything.

We also registered for our incoming... The Lovely Steph
Leann did most of the picking, because I tended to gear
towards such things as this

So we got our baby crib, one that converts into a double bed eventually.  However, in somewhat of a racket, I learned you have to buy the rails to go with it when it turns into said double bed.   All that money for a crib conversion, and you have to buy the extra parts.  Yes, its a racket.

We got us a glider and an ottoman, one that I'm sure we'll be using quite a bit, and a dresser that will be used as a changing table as well.  And where did we buy it?  Target, right?  Nope.  Pier 1 Imports?  Nope.  Bed Bath and Beyond?  Expensive, but nope.  Buy Buy Baby?  Expensive as well, but nope.  We bought it all at... Storkland.  And I hope when Lorelei or Campbell gets here, that kid understands they are sleeping, pooping, crying and growing in a well priced room..

But, I've got the satisfaction of knowing that The Lovely Steph Leann will never look at our furniture and say, "Oh, its good... I kinda wish we had gotten..." and thats worth the price.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Okay, so you first time parents... did you have a billion people tell you over and over how your life was going to change?  It seems everyone thinks that I have no clue about how babies work.  Yep, I've never had, nor taken care of a kid.  However, I'm pretty sure I know they cry.  I have a good idea that they are messy.  I've heard, and believe, that they are expensive.  And I keep hearing that they are life changing.

Usually it goes like this... someone older than me, usually a chick, will come up, and ask about The Lovely Steph Leann.  When I tell the someone that she is great, they'll tell me, "Oh you have no idea what you are in for... they'll keep you up all night, and eat you out of house and home, and they'll keep you tired and run ragged and you'll not have time for anything else!"

And then they'll end their diatribe with, "But they are so worth it."

So please stop telling me this.  Not sure you'll tell me anything I didn't already know, or at least anything that I haven't heard is coming.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Finally... thanks to all the well wishes from so many people on Facebook and texting and otherwise... it was a great, great birthday, and while I feel 36, I still don't feel old...

The Summer of Blogging Day Fifty Six

Off to the Idol Races!

First and foremost... CONGRATS to Paulie Walnuts and his wife Sammi, who just had their baby daughter this evening around 5pm.

Say hello to...


...Catherine "Cate" Claire Carby. Weighing in at 12 pounds and 8 ounces. That is not a typo.

Okay, here we go...

Another night, another Wednesday, its episode 4 of the 6 audition episodes of American Idol. We're here at The Cabana, The Lovely Steph Leann has a blanket, ready to cover, and KT and J Rob are in the house, eatin' fresh, ready to watch...

THIS IS

AMERICAN

IDOL!!!!

Ryan opens the show at Churchhill Downs, in Louisville, KY, home of the Kentucky Derby. As the show comes on, all four of us are in discussion about delivering an almost 13 pound baby. Some procedure involving cutting, and e-pees-all-on-me or something. Gross. Glad to be a dude.

Some mom is pointing to her daughter "Right here, the next American Idol!" but I am captivated by her arm dangle.

The first contestant is Tiffany Shedd. KT says she's pretty, but she looks fresh from The Waffle House. Her eye shadow is about six inches tall. J Rob points out the Breast Mole. And Tiffany aims for Mariah's "Hero". It makes KT laugh out loud, and The Lovely Steph Leann covers her face right off the top. "Make it stop!"

Simon says, "Putting into horseracing terms, imagine 22 horses, and a donkey." This makes myself and J Rob laugh out loud. She was terrible! She tries singing outside, and her mom is bobbing her head and saying, "She is the next American Idol! They messed up!" Then Tiffany does the old tradition of, "This show sucks! I'm never watching it again!" We can only hope.

Joanna Pacitti is here with a backstory. I think she's pretty until I really look at her. Kara recognizes her as a signed A&M Records artist that didn't work out. "We Belong" by Pat Benatar is her song, and hey, she sounds great. I think she'll make the semi-finals, the Top 36. All four say yes, and Joanna goes on to Hollywood.

Mark Mudd Jr shows up, wearing a bolo tie, thick Kentucky accent, and J Rob thinks he's awesome. His great-great-great-infinity grandfather is Samuel Mudd, the guy who treated John Wilkes Booth after he jumped down and broke his leg following Abe Lincoln's getting shot.

He's singing "White Lightning" by George Jones--I daresay I am the only one in this room that has heard this song in its entirety. This guy carries his phone in a gun holster. He sounds terrible, they all say no and says "Be careful". They take it as a threat, which The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up and says, "In the south, everyone says 'Be careful'." Then she adds, "after all those commercials, that was a little bit of a letdown."

Brent Smith is throwing down on some Bad Company, and does a great job. Randy, Paula and Kara liked it, Simon didn't like it at all. Simon still says yes. Then there are jokes made on the show that, being boys, J Rob and I both laugh.

Here's a terrible chick named Irene. I mean, bad. The Lovely Steph Leann pulls the blanket. Another chick named Obianuju kills it (J Rob demands a rewind to fully appreciate what just happened), while Wil crosses his eyes while destroying Soft Cell. White Big Poppa does a bad Michael Jackson (crappy bad, not Sam Jackson bad) and some guy does a terrible song dressed as a zebra crossed with Ace Frehley in full costume.

Backstory! Matt Giraud sings Gavin DeGraw, and KT predicts, before the song, that with this backstory, he'll make it. They tell him to get his swagger on and send him on his way to Hollywood.

They've been previewing this guy, a nerd, if you will, Ross Plavsic. He smiles and J Rob says, "He's been eating gravel!" He has learned Chinese or something, he's dressed in a business suit and when asked, "Why are you here?" he says, "I enjoy singing!" He has this bad deep voice singing some song I've never heard by Jay & the Americans, I think. Paula offers his some water and he... goes up and actually drinks from Paula's drink. She's completely offended.

"Love Me Tender" is his next song to sing, and Simon says, "This isn't getting any better." The Lovely Steph Leann yells, "Eww! This is grossing me out!" On the way out, he sings something about "my best wasnt good enough."

"Good stuff," J Rob smiles.

As we come back from the break, we see a hillbilly shout, "I tell ya I'm the next 'merican Idol, I tell ya that right thar". The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Yeah, maybe not."

Emotional backstory! She's a stay at home mom who had her baby at 19, with a baby daddy in Pensacola, in military school. The daughter is Ryan, who is cute as a button. "Dr. Feelgood" by Aretha is her song, and it seems a little shouty, but not bad. Personally, when she said "Dr. Feelgood", I was hoping for Motley Crue. She's off to Hollywood!

They tell her to work on stage presence, "dirty up" a little, and Kara says, "Go home and make love to your fiance!" Hey now!

Another bad montage! And here comes Aaron Williamson, who is ready to do his stuff. I bring this up because he's peppy beyond measure. He's yelling, representin' and shouting. The Lovely Steph Leann whispers, "Oh dear... I'm slightly worried..."

He's here to be the American's Next Top Idol, singing Creedences Clearwater's Revival. He shouts. Loudly. Very loudly. KT collapses into J Rob's arms. The Lovely Steph Leann bites her nails. Ryan Seacrest, on the outside, peers inside and whispers, "What the hell...?"

The judges are egging him on, which is kinda funny in itself. He's still smiling.

Rebecca Garcia is in line, ready to go... a reporter asks her, "How you gonna dazzle them today?" and J Rob whispers, "With my big horse nose." And that joke has a purpose. She is taking on Carrie Underwood, "Before He Cheats". The Lovely Steph Leann covers half her face with the blanket, KT giggles and J Rob laughs. Rebecca has a wristband on with the words... and when she forgets the line, Kara says, "Check your arm."

Kara laughs, and says, "That was good! That was funny! She was voted 'Most Humorous' in high school and..." She looks up and sees Rebecca's face, and realizes that this audition wasn't a joke. It was genuinely terrible.

This exchange:
Rebecca: Should I give up?
Rebecca's Mom: No, of course not
The Lovely Steph Leann: Heavens yes, please.

Its always refreshing to see a montage of great voices, and we have one with several contestants that get through.

At the end of every episode, there is a touching backstory, and this one is no exception. Leneshe is 18, from Cincinnati, and has a hard life. But now that Obama is president, that should all change, right? She's a single mom, has lived in shelters, so on and so on. Are we watching Americal Idol or Extreme Makeover: Home Edition?

I want her to be terrible, so badly, especially singing an original song... and you know what, she's pretty good. I somehow thought she would be. Simon loved her. This is an unusual step, because normally people who do their own stuff are terrible. Paula loves her. Kara loves her. Randy loves her. She's going to Hollywood--like I knew she would.

Nineteen contestants are heading to Hollywood from the Louisville auditions. But wait, Coffee drinkers--next week, its onto Jacksonville, Florida!