100 Greatest Songs of the 2000s (Part II)

(Preface... this was written on Monday and Tuesday of this week.  Wednesday, the Lovely Steph Leann was admitted to the hospital for labor pains, essentially, and I didn't get to finish tweaking this for posting.  So here I am on the 6th floor of the Brookwood Women's Center, the new one, in a quiet room, and I wanted to finish it up... so here ya go...)

And we continue with our countdown... first, a few reminders--this is a five part Vh1 show, I've already covered Hours 1, 2 and 3 (which you can read here), I've got Hours 4 and 5 coming up below, and just so you know, I'm seeing each song on the countdown for the first time... meaning, I haven't seen the list and know what's coming.  I write it as I watch it appear.

Let's keep moving, with the 40th greatest song of the 2000s decade, according to Vh1...

40... "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy (2005)
I cannot tell you for certain that I could name any song by Fall Out Boy... and I keep thinking of "Number One With a Bullet"... wait?  That's this song?  (the song is playing on the tv and they just got to the "blah blah something merry go round something number one with a bullet")

So this song is not called "Number One With a Bullet"?  Its called "Sugar, We're Goin' Down"?  Perhaps I should have had my late teens in this decade, and I'd probably know more.   Personally, I like "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger.

Incidentally, one of the guys in this band, Pete Wintz, is the host of this entire countdown show.  And he's terrible with a bullet.  His hosting career is going down, down... see what I did there?  Good one, d$!

39... "Chasing Pavement" by ADELE (2008)
Man this chick can sing.  Actually, I didn't discover her until "Rollin' in the Deep", which freakin' rules.  And ADELE is amazing, because she has this special quality that not alot of pop stars have nowadays... talent and a good voice.

But though I know what a pavement is, I am unclear as to why you'd need to chase it.  It doesn't move much.

38... "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus (2009)
Um...

Maybe you should listen to the song about 114 times, and maybe that's the breaking point.  That's the threshold.  After that, you like it.  

Uh...

Did you know that this song had a resurgence on the charts when Osama bin Laden was killed?  To me, that's the final insult... you are this powerful leader for decades, causing fear, death and destruction in your reign, and your death is celebrated by your enemies with a Miley Cyrus song.  Ha!

Me?  Oh, well, I, uh... I hate this song.

No, I don't know all the words, why would you ask such a foolish question as that?  You silly.

Um. No, I don't put my hands up when they are singing my song, and the butterflies fly away (butterfly fly away).  Uh, no, I don't have the video.  Why would... check my iPod?  No, that's private.  Why would you want to do that?  

I think I just saw Chris Hanson, so let's move on.

37...   "Oops!... I Did It Again" by Britney Spears (2000)

"Baby, One More Time..."?  Absolutely.  "Sometimes"?  Heck ya.  "You Drive Me Crazy"?  Sure, why not?

"Oops!... I Did It Again"?  No way.  Terrible song.  And was a terrible entry in the Christina vs. Britney battle.  I mean, who likes crappy, catchy pop junk like this?  (why are you scrolling up to re-read #38?  Come back)

36... "Bye Bye Bye" by *NSync (2000)

Dude.  This song flippin' rules.  I ain't even joking.

Get past the boy-band part of it, and JT, Joey, Chris, Kirkpatrick and NancyLancey could own it.  And this song was awesome.  As a guy, liking the Backstreet Boys was straight-cred destruction.  However, liking *NSync was just normal, cause we all like them.

However, my affection for this song may not be so much the song itself but the redux done a few years back by the cover band *NStynk...

35... "Daughters" by John Mayer (2004)

Fathers, be good to your daughters, don't let them near John Mayer.  

I like John well enough--I really dig "Gravity", "Clarity", "No Such Thing" and of course, "Your Body Is a Wonderland"--but this song not so much.  I think its about ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

34... "All For You" by Janet Jackson (2001)

Yeah!  Love me some Janet!  At least, Janet before the infamous Wardrobe Malfunction at the Super Bowl.  I think she's more of a punchline now, but back in the day, especially back in the 90s, you had "Rhythm Nation" and "Miss You Much" and "Control" and one of my all time favorite songs ever, "Love Will Never Do (without you)"... she's fantastic.

And this song is pretty good too.  A little dirty, though, so don't really study the lyrics.  Have you ever read the lyrics to "If"?  Great song, sounds awesome, and it frustrated me that she sang so fast, I couldn't understand them... so I looked them up.  Holy crap.  I blushed.  I mean, its like, down and freaky.  Wow.  So now you know.

33... "Hurt" by Johnny Cash (2003)

Wow.  So, I feel like cracking wise about this particular song, and Johnny Cash at the time he sang it would be akin to making fun of the opening battle scene of "Saving Private Ryan", or the ending to "Schindler's List" or anything serious and depressing like that.  Not that "Hurt" compares historically to those particular times in our nation's history itself, but you get my drift.

So I won't.



But what I will say is this:  This song, this video, is a pre-death eulogy.  Cash had a successful, but at the same time hard and even horrible, life.  He did this song after his wife, June Carter, had passed, and he passed not too long after.  The video is crushing.  Film clips of a younger him, celebrating, not knowing that some of his life would be so wasted, clips of June Carter and their relationships, so happy yet so stormy and rocky... and the lyrics are so, so moving.  This is truly one of the few songs out there that I would classify as "painful" on so many levels, and I don't even have a connection to the song, other than I have a soul and am not dead inside.

Hurricane Rhett would make fun of this entire piece.

32... "This Love" by Maroon 5 (2004)
I really, really wanted to not like this song.  I wanted to hate this song, and as a result, hate Maroon 5... but I can't help it.  This song is kinda fun, kinda catchy.   And Maroon 5's music is actually not bad.  It's not revolutionary, but it does stick with you.

Sing it with me... This... love... has... taken its toll on me... she says goodbye too many times before (oh-whoa-oh)... everybody!

And Adam Levine gets some major play... at least in his videos.

31... "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse (2007)
Okay... "Amy shoulda gone to Rehab!  Ha!"  There, I said it.  Oh, and, "We tried to make her to go to rehab, and she said No!  No!  No!"  See what I did there?  I kill me.

30... "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani (2005)
Fine.  I'll admit it.  I love the dang fool out of this song.  Its addicting, Gwen is awesome, its stupid, its catchy, its poppy, its ridiculous and it forever changing our mental processes when it comes to fruit.

What with the number one song be, Gwen?  Ah!  You are keeping
yourself from blurting out the answer!  Good job, girly!

Much like any mention of a chick named Stacy, you'll think about how going on her mom has it, a mention many times of a banana will elicit this thought:  Its bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Were I a chick, a cheerleader, gay or all three, this might be my anthem.  I frikkin' love this song.

Still unclear as to what a "Hollaback" girl is, and what makes one "hollaback".  Not sure.

29... "Best of You" by The Foo Fighters (2005)
I guess while I was making time with Gwen and hollering back, I missed this entirely, because I've never even heard this song, like ever in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I dig the Foo Fighters, and "Learn to Fly" is in my Top 100 all time, I think Dave Grohl is awesome, and hearing a snippet of this song, I like it too... but I've never heard  it.  Maybe I should have listened to 107.7 the X more often.

28... "Music" by Madonna (2000)
This song sucks.  So does Madonna any time after 1998.

That is all.

27... "Yeah!" by Usher, feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris (2004)
Another ridiculous, stupid, moronic song with no redeeming value that I just simply love and sometimes will blast out of the Red Robin, making sure my speaker colored thumping lights are thumping like a twitchy ninja, when it comes on.

YEEAAAHH!!  OOOHKAAYYYY!!!

Kick that, rewind it back, Lil Jon, Luda and Ur-shure got the beat
that make yo' booty go boom!

Gotta tell ya, Usher... underrated talent.  I know, I know, he's sold a bajillion records, though like Nickleback CDs, I don't know anyone that owns one... but Usher doesn't get a ton of mentions when discussing great voices.  He's good.  He's really good.

Then you toss in the stupid stoopid Lil Jon, who says, "The chorus of this was easy.  You just say Yeah... then Yeah... then Yeah... and Yeah again.  We kind of ad-libbed it."   And finally, Ludacris in a cleaner form, at least in his lyrics, and you've got a legendary dance hit.

26... "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes (2003)
Yes, I have heard of them.  I just feel like I'm not hipster enough to like The White Stripes.  She & Him, sure.  Ingrid Michelson, yep.  The White Stripes?   I've not only not heard this song, I've never heard OF this song.

25... "Hot In Herre" by Nelly (2002)
This made me laugh loud.  Serriously.  I've trried to tell my darrling wife, "hey, its getting hot in herre, so take off all yourr clothes", and in the real worrld, it doesn't worrk.  Sorrry.

Let's be rreal herre... I didn't go to a ton of parrties in college, and even less in high school, so I'm not what you'd call, "A Parrty Going Experrt", but I can tell you this from my limited experrience... Chicks that tell you "I am gettin' so hot I'm gonna take my clothes off" are few and farr between.  But when you do stumble acrross such a chick, you might be tempted to think, "Awesome!", and perrhaps at 19, I would have thought that.  Howeverr, I'm old enough to know now that if such a statement is spoken by said chick, its a good bet she has done this beforre, lest you think you arre the test case for this scenarrio.  And in thinking she's prrobably done this beforre, its not a long leap to assume she prrobably has an STD.  And although chicks with venerreal diseases arre still people too, that would be someone you want to be fully clothed.  I'm just sayin'.

24... "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott (2001)
As much as a I hate this song, its a good reminder that I am a total music hypocrite, and even snob.  As much as I dig on "When the taxi man turned on the radio and a Jay-Z song was on... a Jay-Z song was on... a Jay-Z song was on!" and goofy lyrics as such, sometimes the lyrics are just too stupid for even me.  And when they are forced together to make a rap, its bad.

Like this song.  Man, do I hate this song.  I hate everything about it.  I hate that beat.  I hate that she hocks a loogie in the middle of it.  I hate that in the video, she spits in a man's mouth... "In yo' face... open yo' mouth, get you a tays..."  I hate the fact it uses "Ur" for "Your".  I hate the video.  I hate the fact I heard this song 3813 times in 2001.

Let's move on before I throw this nearby Katy Perry CD through the window.  I wish I were kidding.

23... "Get the Party Started" by P!nk (2001)
I can't say I hate this song.  I really can't say I like it, either.  I actually could just take it or leave it.  I'm not sure that apathy is what P!nk was going for.

However, I am considering changing my name to dav!d.  Its a thought.

22... "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys
Okay, I have several things to say about this song, but first, I must tell you that I do really like this song.  It think its a career-defining masterpiece.  And I did use the word "Masterpiece" because that's how its performed.

However comma

Have you ever heard the expression "Could sing the phone book and still sound amazing"?  That's what this song reminds me of.  Allow me to put on my lyrical snobbery hat again, and just tell you, I'm bothered by how simple some of the lyrics are.  "Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me feel blue"?  Really?  "I never felt this way.  How do you give me so pleasure, and cause me so much pain"?  Each verse is only, like, two lines!  Am I being overly dramatic in wanting a little deeper meaning in my lyrics?

No matter... Keys is amazing in this tune.  You know what, forget I said all that.  I love this song.

21... "99 Problems" by Jay-Z (2003)
If you having girl problems, I feel bad for you soon, I got 99 problems but a (crude term for someone of the female persuasion) ain't one...

How is this okay?  Isn't this song a little misogynistic?  Am I being overly critical here?

20... "Toxic" by Britney Spears (2003)
Ugh.

Really?  Really?  10,000 songs in a decade and this is the 20th best of all?  Seriously?

19... "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child (2001)
Sigh.

And they just keep getting better, don't they?  Okay, so this song is fun, and by far better than "Toxic" will ever be, and for the record, I pick Kelly Rowland over Beyonce any day, but I can't put this in my own personal Top 20.  Or 50.  Or 100.  "I don't think you ready for this jelly..." is a fun line, though.

By the way, because of this song, the term "Bootylicious" was added to the dictionary.  This is why the terrorists hate us.

18... "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera (2002)
Two things:
First... it is a good song.  Yes, we've heard it a thousand times, and in 2002, that was per day, but when it comes down to it, it really is a great tune.

Second... I'm happy she beat out "Toxic".  Unlike Britney, Christina has a great non-studio produced voice.  Love it.

(sidebar... I'm reviewing this part of the list with The Lovely Steph Leann, getting any feedback, and with Maroon 5, she simply said, "Oh, I like that song"... but with this one, the floodgates freakin' opened... "Oh my gosh, I hate that Aguilera song!  I hate it!  Hate it!"  She then proceeds to sing it in a horrible mocking screeching tone, accenting the word "beautiful" in a terrible pitch.  She then ends her tirade by saying, "Hate it."  Don't hold back, Steph, tell me how you feel.)

17... "Clocks" by Coldplay (2002)
Who doesn't like this song?  Seriously?  And if they do a 100 Greatest Songs Intros of Like, Ever, you'd have to see this song up there somewhere.

But let's be clear--I, you, maybe even them, have no idea what this song even means.

16... "Single Ladies (put a ring on it)" by Beyonce (2008)
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies! 

(is it in your head yet?  yes?  mission accomplished)

Excuse me Taylor, Imma letcha finish... but Beyonce had one ada greatest videos of all time!

(and yes, I do like this song.  its fun.  even the lovely steph leann likes it)

15... "Beautiful Day" by U2

Dear Bono,

That's enough.  You've had your run, and its been a great one.  U2 is one of the biggest bands in the history of the world, and we all know it.  Your music will live forever, and transcends generations.  Your album "The Joshua Tree" is immaculate.  Songs like "With or Without You" and "Streets Have No Name" and "New Years Day" and even later stuff, lesser known stuff like "Mysterious Ways", is music I am excited to let Campbell Isaiah and/or Lorelei Addison experience. [which we now know as Campbell Isaiah only]

But Bono, its 2011. Apparently you put an album out recently, and no one even knew about it.  Its time to step away.  Its time for you to free up more time for Darfur or the rain forests or Ensley or whatever, and allow Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton time to do more music for Mission Impossible movies, and to say, "Hey, The Edge, its time for us to part."  Let it go, Bono.  Its time

Signed, 

d$

Not sure if this is a performance of "Crazy", and I'm
not sure if that is Danger Mouse in the trooper outfit,
but either way, the picture is cool. 

14..."Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley

Holy crap this song is awesome.  Like, every beat, every second, every minute detail, every word of this song rulz to the maximum allowance of ruling.  "Crazy" is fan-flippin-tastic.

Were I to give my own 2000s list, its easy to put this Top 25, maybe even Top 15.  Cee-Lo Green has this unusual, cool as grits voice, and Danger Mouse is just cool for having the nickname Danger Mouse.  

13... "American Idiot" by Green Day (2004)

I knew this song would come up, and I was dreading it, mostly because I hate it when I throw up in my mouth. And I just did.

These are the same guys that had an album called "Dookie", and sang about going to a shrink and being told that lack of sex will bring you down.  Yes, people can, and do, change.  I get that.  But really, BJ Armstrong, can you just sing your fun songs and quit telling me that liberals are awesome and conservatives suck?  

Sorry... just threw up in my mouth again.

12... "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas (2009)

The first time I ever heard this song, all I could think of, "This is going to be a party anthem and/or a sports anthem and/or a celebration anthem for ages to come."  When B-list celebrities in 1981 were sitting around and discussing the best songs of the decade just completed, I'm sure that someone was saying about "Rock and Roll Part 1" by Gary Glitter the same things they are saying about "I Gotta Feeling"... "Party song..." and "This song is the ultimate going-out song" and "I gotta feeling..." and such.

Personally, I'm a little flabbergasted that "My Humps" hasn't shown up yet... however, we have 11 more to go...

11... "Umbrella" by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

My main issue with Rihanna?  How her name is spelled.  When I hear her name, I automatically think Fleetwood Mac's classic "Rhiannon", which was an outside consideration for my kid's name (thought I never shared it with The Lovely Steph Leann.  Probably a good thing.)

She's very talented, though through no fault of her own, its a little disconcerting that all of her songs keep breaking all sorts of sales and chart records, and I'm bothered by this.  Why should Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" fall to whatever getting-it-on tune Rihanna is blathering out?

That said, this is an addicting song.  You know, Umbrella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey...

If this doesn't get stuck in your head, I have this to say:

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

Your welcome.

AND NOW, Vh1's TOP TEN OF the 2000s...

10... "In Da Club" by 50 Cent (2003)

Really?  Like, really?  

9... "We Belong Together" by Post-Skank Mariah Carey (2005)

I have often referenced my inclination to Pre-Skank Mariah and how awesome she was over Post-Skank Mariah, so I won't go into it.. but I will say that everything after 1997's "Butterfly" album is pure skank.  Notably, the song "Honey" is where it all took a turn for the ho.

This song brought her back around again for me.  While not my favorite Mariah (that's a tie between "Vision of Love", "Dreamlover" and "Always Be My Baby"... or maybe "Fantasy"), its vintage.  Its a throwback, yet just hip enough to be in the 2000s.  Ah, pre-skank Mariah, may we see you again soon.  

8... "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys (2009)

This is a quite a love letter to a city... a New York City Anthem, and I'm not sure why the city itself hasn't adopted it as its City Anthem.  

And Alicia Keys is awesome, as always.  I can listen to this song over and over and over, and have.  Great, great song.

7... "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake (2006)

Oh no he di'nt!  Oh no he di'nt!  This song is my jam, y'all, MY Jam!

Okay, not really... but I can see a few of these songs listed on this countdown not necessarily for their artistic merit, but more for their importance, and this song was a monster.  Timberlake had broken free from *NSync, and was on his way to superstardom, had some huge hits, and then a few years later, released "Future.Love.Sex.Sounds", and this was the lead-off single.  And a catch phrase was born.

Its not even so much that "Sexyback" is cool, it is more that Justin Timberlake singing this is cool.  And how many people do you know have used the term "I'm bringing sexy back..."

6... "Gold Digger" by Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx (2005)

Dude. This song.  Like, this song.  Can't help it.  For all the punk that Kanye is and can be, this song is fantastic.  

Here's the scene... 2005 Video Music Awards.. I was watching (don't ask me why) and out of the floor of the stage rises one Kanye West and one Jamie Foxx, looking all cool and sleek, posed and frozen.  Suddenly, Jamie starts into a "She takes my money... when I'm in need..." then the beat kicks in, and I watch one of the coolest live performances I've ever, ever seen.   And its this song.

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger... she ain't messin' with no broke (broke)

Do me a favor... holla "We want pre-nupt!" (we want pre-nupt!)

I love love love this song

5... "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson (2004)

Everyone likes this song.  Some people love it, some only like it a little, but to some degree, everyone likes this song.  How can you not?  Its infectious like the basement of the CDC...

The Lovely Steph Leann has joined the room for the Top Ten, and she's over on the couch bobbing her head, watching with total interest.  And when this song comes on the radio, I sing along.  And so do you.  Kelly might never have been better before or since... though I do enjoy "Behind These Hazel Eyes".  Love me some Kelly Clarkson.

4... "Lose Yourself" by Eminem (2002)

We've now hit the first song on this entire countdown that I could make an argument for being the #1 song of the decade.  This song... amazing.  And he even won a stinkin' Oscar for it.

Now, my favorite Eminem song is quite simply "Without Me", a totally hilarious, yet quite incredible rhyme... but "Lose Yourself" might be his actual best work.  I saw "8 Mile" not too long ago, and its not that bad.  

And when Em sings, you believe it.  He's blowing the mic away, he's jamming, he's just rapping and singing with so much ferocity, and you really get into it.  And if you knew the words, you'd sing along, though you probably don't know the words.  

3... "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga (2008)

Sigh.

I have come to accept that Gaga is here to stay.  Perhaps in 1982, fuddy duddies like me were saying the same thing about that new Madonna chick that just came up on the scene... and now, here's Lady Gaga.  

Okay, she's got a great voice.  And "Bad Romance"?  I'm a sucker for it.  And yes, this song is pretty good.  It's catchy.  But #3?  Really?  

2... "Hey Ya!" by Outkast (2003)

Now... if I had to list a "Greatest Songs of the 2000s" and "My Favorite Songs of the 2000s", this song would be #1 on the former list, #2 on the latter list.  "Hey Ya!" is one of the best songs ever performed, crossing all genres of awesome.  Even The Lovely Steph Leann likes it, and she don't go for the blasted rappin' crappin music!  She says, "Its not rap, its pop.  I like pop."

The video?  Best of the 2000s, in my Top Five All Time.  There are EIGHT different Andre 3000s on the stage, and he even manages to slip in a few scandalous lines towards the end (don't read the lyrics if you don't want to know, though its nothing too terrible) but the song is so fun, you don't even notice.

It shows a Beatle-type frenzied performance by the band Andre 3000 and The Love Below, consisting of eight members:  Possum Jenkins on bass... Johnny Vulture on guitar (yes ladies, he's still single)... Benjamin Andre (on keyboard)... Dookie on drums... Andre (ice cold) 3000 on lead vocals... and, of course, The Love Haters on backup vocals.  And all are played by Andre 3000 himself.

And yes, the song asks you to shake it (you can determine what "it" is) like a Polaroid Picture, and Polaroid had to come out with a statement that said, "Hey ya, you used to coulda shaken our pics, but don't do it anymore, you don't have to."

I love this song, man. I really do.

And finally...

1... "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z (2003)

This song?  Beyonce singing along with her babydaddy?

Uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh

No no no

I'm conflicted... while I don't think it should have been the top song of the entire decade, I can't make much of an argument against it--heck, I sing this song sometimes at work.

As Vh1 shows clips from the video, I can only surmise one observation... well, two.  First, she jiggles alot.  And honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that jelly.  Secondly, there must have been a heckuva lot of double-sided tape used in those particular outfits.

Great song.  Great choice.    

And there you go.  The Top 100 Songs of the 2000s... agree, disagree, its not my list, its Vh1.  What's my list?  That's a great question... perhaps soon...

Hallelujah to the Idol Three (with results!)

Its been what you might call a lackluster season.  The performances haven't been great, but maybe just good.  The personalities haven't been outstanding, but maybe just interesting.  The season hasn't been steller, maybe just manageable.

However, it wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be the same, nay!  It wouldn't be proper, American or wholesome if we didn't finish this season out right.  That means the final two performance shows, that means the final two results shows...

And we begin tonight with Crystal, Lee and Casey.  My predictions have Lee and Casey in the Idol Championship. 

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL'S TOP THREE!!

Tonight, all the contestants do two songs... one picked out by themselves, the others picked out by the judges.

Casey James is up first.  He's picked a song by Eric Hutchison called "Okay, Alright With Me."  I've never heard the song, but I liked it.  It was totally in his wheelhouse, and I thought he sounded pretty good.

Randy the Dawg says, "Yeah, it was okay, alright with me too."  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres kinda... well, kinda babbles like Paula used to do.  I miss Paula Abdul.  Kara, though hot, is no Paula.  Kara the New Hotness says it was just okay, and Simon the Cowell says this is the most important night of CJ's life, and this song is nothing but the salad to the dinner.

Crystal Bowersox comes up next.  She sings "Come to My Window", which is AWESOME.... this is one of my favorite songs of all time--Top 100--and a great part of my Troy State Experience.  Came in the spring of 94, if I remember quickly.  Its off the album "Yes I Am' because it was about the time that Melissa Etheridge came out.  The Lovely Steph Leann is a fan of "I'm the Only One" but I take this one.

C'Bosox starts out with a quiet harmonica, then kicks it in.  Perhaps its because I adore this song, but I like C'Bosox' take on it.  Granted its not perfect, but if I wanted the perfect version, I'd fire up the iPod, scroll to Melissa Etheridge (under the "Lesbian Rocker" playlist, a list that I've had to add Jennifer Knapp to recently.  Sigh) and hear the original.

Randy the Dawg didn't love the arrangement, but loved the vocals on it.  Ellen DeG, speaking on behalf of her fellow Butch, says Melissa would be proud.  Kara the New Hotness says it wasn't a "moment", but it was good.   Simon the Cowell says it wasn't a great performance, but it was good.  The Lovely Steph Leann liked the song, but not the arrangement.

Seacrest sends it to commercial with "Lee is up next, with some Skynyrd!"   To which I groan, "...oh no..."  Let's hope its not as bad as I think it is.

Lee DeWyze is singing, "Simple Man", which is good.  We dodged a bullet.  Cause there is really one song not named Freebird that Skynyrd is known for, and I was so afraid we'd hear that.  Of course, I don't really know the song that he is singing, but it sounds like its straight out of 1974... but that's probably because its a Lynyrd Skynyrd song.  Lot of "y"s in that name.

I thought it was pretty good, The Lovely Steph Leann liked it.  Randy the Dawg thought it was a great song choice, and it was a great performance.  Ellen DeG said it showed that Lee takes this seriously.  Kara the New Hotness says what Lee did is what all the contestants should do.  Round One goes to Lee!  Simon the Cowell asks Lee why that song was chosen, and Lee said, "Because when I play that song, it makes me happy."  Simon says the song choice was brilliant. 

Me:  That was a good fit for him.  Of course, Crystal doing Melissa Etheridge should have been better.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Exactly.  She should have just played her guitar.  The arrangement killed it. 

Alrighty, we now go a quick hometown videos, where the contestants will also find out what songs they'll be singing.  Let's go to Texas with Casey James.

Randy and Kara the New Hotness have selected "Daughters" by John Mayer for Casey to sing.  Not my favorite John Mayer song, so let's see how CJ does...

I think he's singing it really well... but I find the original to be a little boring, so I kinda find this one to be a little boring too.   Randy the Dawg says this song fits him like a glove.  Ellen DeG says lots of daughters and mothers and... sons too... that will be voting for CJ.  Kara the New Hotness says CJ shone in this song.  Simon the Cowell thought it was much, much better.  And he agrees with me that the song was kinda lazy.

So, Randy the Dawg, one of the two original judges (and soon to be the only original judge) on the show, has to share a song selection with Kara the New Hotness.  Ellen DeGeneres gets a selection all by her lonesome.  Why?  Probably because she's America's Favorite Lesbian.

Let's cut to Ohio, where we see Crystal Bowersox getting a text from Ellen DeGeneres, telling her she'll be singing "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney and Wings.  Good song.  No, great song, and its in my Top 15 of all time.  No joke.

Again, maybe its because I love love lurve the song, but I really like what Crystal is doing with this.  The arrangement isn't too far off base, and it sounds great.   Randy the Dawg says, "Great song, great vocals, America!  She's in it to win it!"  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness said it really showed off different parts of her vocals.  Simon the Cowell says that she has soul, and the song was terrific.

Let's now go to Chicago to find out what Lee DeQWyze will be singing... and its "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley.  Let's be real here--Jason Castro has the definitive version on Idol of this song.

The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh, please, please be good."

Lee is not speeding it up any, but is putting a little raspy rocker twist onto the song.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I thought it was good.  Castro did his own version, Lee did his style, it was good."  I concur.

Randy the Dawg says Lee just threw down the gauntlet, and that Simon set him up for this moment.   Lee thanks Simon for the selection.  Ellen DeG says it was stunning.  Kara the New Hotness says that he is what the show is all about--starts in one place and ends up where he is now.  Simon the Cowell says he is very proud of Lee. 

For me tonight... Lee's "Hallelujah"... C'Bosox' "Maybe I'm Amazed"... Lee's Skynyrd... Crystal's "Come to My Window"...  CJ's "Daughters"... CJ's "Okay Alright"

Tomorrow.... who makes it in the Idol Championships?

Aaaaaaaaand we're back.    Its about 24 1/2 hours later, and The Lovely Steph Leann just got in  from a "thing"--you know, sometimes at work you have to do a "thing", and she had to do one tonight.  So, I grab the DVR remote... and...

Its Casey.  Its Crystal.  Its Lee.  Its Americal Idol's "semi-finals". 

Tonight, Justin Bieber is performing.  Uh... yay?  And some guy named Travis Garland is also performing.  Uh... yay?   Interestingly enough, this will be my first time hearing Justin Bieber sing, for as long as I let him sing on my TV.   Oh, and just a note, its pronounced Bee-ber, not Bye-ber.  I know this because I have a niece who is twelve. 

While The Lovely Steph Leann is unwinding, I've been surfing the interweb, checking headlines on ESPN (by the way, my Magic is down 2-0... and I have a feeling its over.  Dwight Howard, as much as I want to like the guy, is overrated), Sports Illustrated, Drudge, Obama.com and Facebook, and I just realized that we are like, 10 minutes into the show and Seacrest has killed that time by chatting to the three Idolites about winning.  I just realized at this very moment, I'm kinda bored.  Sigh.

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Ford Commercial

Now we cut to the video from Texas where Casey James went home.  I remember when I worked in Hell-TV, Taylor Hicks, as a Idol Top-Three'er, came to the nearby Fox 6 station.  Holy smokes that was a mess.  There were cars everywhere, parking in our own station lot and up and down the driveway.  They did a rooftop concert and it was loud and crazy and I was kinda jealous... they have fun at Fox 6 from what I could tell. 

Seacrest:  Up next, Travis Garland performs with his new single
The Lovely Steph Leann (pause):  Who?

Fast forward through commercials

And we're back, and Seacrest is talking to Perez Hilton.  He comes from a long line of people that make you wonder, "....aaaaand how is this guy famous?"   So now we go to Travis Garland, who Perez Hilton "discovered".  

Me, remote in hand, finger on >> button:  Say when, dear.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  You could have already fast forwarded for all I care.  Who is this guy?

Fast forward through Travis Garland

Fast forward through commercials

Now, let's go to Crystal's go-home video.  Back to Taylor Hicks, I also remember when he came to the Galleria mall.  I wasn't working there at the time, I was actually sitting at a Sneaky Pete's restaurant with... Tom Johnson, I think.  Anyway, we were watching the action on televsion, and it was insane.

Heard later that the retailers in the mall, especially those around the food court, hated hated HATED having Taylor Hicks there.  For all the people that came to see Taylor Hicks sing, it killed business that day.  The people that were there were there to see Taylor and leave.  The people that would have wanted to shop stayed away to avoid the crowds.  Some stores saw a slight bump in sales, but for the most part, it was a bad day for anyone with a business to run that day.

We now go to the Chicago video of Lee DeWyze's homecoming.  Someone on Facebook made the comment that they didn't understand the fascination with Lee DeWyze, and said he had the personality of a doorknob.  As personable and nice as the guy certainly is, I kinda agree.

Gotta be honest though, if you put a gun to my head and said "Okay, d$, either I shoot you, or you go to a Lee concert, a Casey concert or a Crystal concert.  Pick one or die." I'm probably headed to a Lee concert.  Just sayin'.

Idol has big changes, by the way.  The are pulling the performance shows back to 90 minutes instead of 2 hours, which is fine with me, though I could go either way.   When you have up to 12 people performing, a 2 hour show is not unreasonable, though it can be trimmed, though.  The results shows are the big change--from an hour to 30 minutes, which is wonderful.  There is no reason to go a full hour.  Heck, they could cut "Fringe" by 10 minutes and have a 10 minute results show, and I'd be fine with that.

Fast forward through commercials

Listen to about :30 of Justin Bieber

Me:  Holy crap, he looks like he's four
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Because he is.
Me:  Did you know he was nominated for a BET Music award?
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Did someone not realize he wasn't black?

Granted, Justin Bieber only got one nomination, for best new artist.  That pales in comparison to Jay-Z, who got five.  Jay-Z, incidentally, is in fact black.

Fast forward through Justin Bieber

The Lovely Steph Leann also observes that the judges aren't even watching Justin Bieber perform

Fast forward through commericals

Also heard a completely unsubstantiated rumor that Idol might replace ALL the judges next year.  Get rid of Ellen, that's my pick.

Dim the lights... here's the results.. the first person...

in...

next week's...

finale...

is...

Lee DeWyze.  We almost all knew this to be true.  So, who will join Lee for a shot at the title?   That would be Crystal Bowersox.  So, my prediction only half came true... Casey James punks out and is gone. 

So there you have it.  The American Idol Season 9 Finale will be Crystal Bowersox vs. Lee DeWyze. 

NEXT TUESDAY... full recap of the final performance show.  And next Wednesday, a LIVE RUNNING DIARY OF THE IDOL FINALE... Be here! 

The 100 Coolest Things of 2009... 70 to 61

It's been a few days weeks since I last worked on this particular list, but since its now officially mid-February, I figured I'd better get a move on.  Here's the next ten on The 100 Coolest Things of 2009...

70... Pastor Calvin
I've been attending Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) since 1998.  I first went to service at the Larnelle Harris Christmas Concert, and then soon after, in January of 1999, I was baptized.  It was this time frame that I got to meet Pastor Calvin Kelly, who, this past fall, celebrated 25 years at the church.

Through the going on 12 years I've been attending the church, I've seen people come and go (and come back), I've seen staff members come and go (and come back), I've watched my WalkAbout kids come into middle school, get to high school, graduate and even get married, and I've seen the entire church uproot and move a mile down the road.  I've seen both of Pastor Calvin's daughters graduate (and even went out with one of them once) and get married, and watched my dear Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) through its ups and downs.  Through it all, there has been one main earthly constant, and that's the pastor of the church.

I haven't always agreed with our church.  Sometimes I question its direction, and even go so far as to... well, you know, ask.  Imagine that.  But I know that there is a backbone of Godly staff behind our church, and at its helm, our pastor.  And in that, I rest my hope in our church.  Thanks Pastor Calvin.

69... "My Life in Ruins"
What a silly little movie, really. 

Starring Nia Vardalos, my favorite Greek born actress... well, okay, she was born in Canada, but go with this, okay?  Anyway, in the years since "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", a movie high in The Dave100, she's not fared so well with her career.  She only managed 7 episodes of "My Big Fat Greek Life" on CBS before it was pulled, and then co-starred with Toni Collette in the what-seemed-disasterous "Connie & Carla" (I say "seemed" because I have never seen it, and don't intend to change that) and managed a few guest spots in the TBS series "My Boys".  She even had a bomb, her directorial debut, called "I Hate Valentine's Day", not to be confused with the current "Valentine's Day" film.

And then came her latest film, "My Life in Ruins", which I saw in June of 2009.  And really, it kinda bombed too, so her losing streak continues... but here's what I had to say about this movie when I wrote about it last summer...

I had a feeling this would be a movie I would enjoy, but I didn’t realize I would like it as much as I did. I loved it. It’s not perfect, its flawed, and let’s be honest, this is a blip on the radar screen of the summer movies. It spent about two weeks in the big theaters, and I saw it today on the dollar screen…


Nia plays Georgia, a tour guide for a small company that gives week long tours in Greece. She loves the history, she loves the architecture and she loves Greece, but she struggles with being entertaining to a group of tourists, some American, some British, some Australian and some just old and annoying. Her co-worker, Niko, does everything he can to appeal not only to his group, but Georgia’s group as well, being funny, buying them food, skipping the boring history to go shopping and so on.

The movie is about a week in Georgia’s life, and how she figures it out… through a number of sources, including an excellent Richard Dreyfuss playing the typically loudmouth funny old guy, “Irv” and a bus driver who takes a liking to her--a bus driver who's name is pronounced "Poopy Cacas"

The movie is a bit long, and towards the end I was hoping it would come to a conclusion… and finally, it does. “My Life in Ruins” is light, its breezy, its fun and Nia Vardalos is her beautiful, real self.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I watched it again the other night, via Netflix, and I think I enjoyed it more, and entered the "I'm probably going to buy that movie once it goes down to like, $9.99 or less, because I know it will" phase in my mind.  Loved it.

68... The Chipotle Mexican Grill
This one finished 38th on last year's list, but don't let the drop of 30 spots make you think I enjoy it any less.  Perhaps I enjoy it more, and because of that, it was worth a second mention...

I always get the same thing--thats how I am, I like something, I go with it, because I don't want to spend good money on something I'm not sure I'd like when I could have spent that money on something I know I'd like.  Hence, getting the carnitas on January 25th, 2009, the last time I deviated from my beloved three soft tacos, no salsa, extra cheese, extra sour cream, bag o'chips and a small Pibb Xtra.  Mmm Mmm Mmm.

67... "Tropic Thunder"
Yeah, yeah, I know, this movie came out in 2008, but I didn't get to see it until April 2009, via the Netflix.   With actors Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Nick Nolte, Bill Hader, a terrific Robert Downey Jr and a riotous Tom Cruise all on screen, the chemistry is top notch.

Simply put, a group of actors are filming a war film, and are unwittingly dropped into the jungle to be filmed in "real life", but there is so much more to this movie.  Its raw, its bawdy and the language is terrible.  But the movie is hysterical.



Probably the most memorable parts are RDJ as Kirk Lazarus, an actor so devoted to method-acting he has "pigment alteration" to darken his skin in order to more effectively portray a black character--and he never breaks character, taking in a very un-PC accent.  The other is Tom Cruise, now at that point in his career when he can take roles like this--he wears a fat suit and is Les Grossman, a foul-mouthed, comb over bald studio exec that steals every scene he's in.  Its Rated R for obvious reasons (language). 

66... "Breakthrough" by Colbie Caillat
Its her second album, following 2007's "Coco", (one of the coolest things of 2007) which spawned the hit single "Bubbly"--you know, "it starts from my toes, makes me crinkle my nose--and to me, this CD is superior in every way. 

From the opening song, "I Won't" to the final track, "Breakin' at the Cracks", and everything in between, its like you can imagine Colbie just strumming on a guitar, sitting on a stool, singing her songs.  I almost feel like she could have performed at The Deuce back in the day (though I guess in 2001 she might have been underaged... hmm...). 

Her biggest hit from the album has been "Fallin' For You", which is such a fun song to hear and sing along to.  The video?  I ranked it as my 20th favorite video in the as yet unfinished Top 20 Videos of the Decade. 

65... ESPN College Football
I love college football.  I get all in a tizzy and like a little schoolboy when it finally comes on in August, and I grieve like I lost my puppy when it ends in January. 

I worked on my 2009 Coolest List for a few months, adding stuff to it all along, and somehow, this was ranked 65th.  I'm not sure if there is a specific reason, or just in general... but yay for college football and especially ESPN College Football Gameday!

64... Christian Brothers Auto
Here's what I know about this particular mechanic shop... its owned/operated by a guy named Brandon, who goes to Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship),  they have a Honda specialist that owns some of his own Honda equipment (which works for me with Toni Rocki Honda and The Lovely Steph Leann with Isadora, her own Honda Accord), they are reasonably priced and they have the word "Christian" in the name.

Car trouble is something I'm pretty familiar with, and finding a good mechanic that you can talk to and trust is like finding someone to get your hair did... once you find them, you do your best to stay there.   Let's be real... just because the word "Christian" is in the name doesn't automatically make them great mechanics--but by putting that word in their name, they suddenly have something to live up to, almost purposely putting themselves under a higher standard to meet.  You get bad service at Mr. Goodwrench, you complain and go elsewhere.  You get bad service at Christian Brothers Auto, and you not only complain, you say things like, "Well, they are supposed to be a 'Christian' place, I see how that is," which is pretty devestating to a witness.

Either way, they've been great to me thusfar, they are always packed out, and when I can get in, its the source for all my oil repairs and major fixes.  You can visit their website here, or give them a call at 205-987-6620.  Oh, and their courtesy shuttle is a sweet, sweet ride.

63... "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiassen
Sez me on November 13th:  And finally, here's one I just finished. "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiaasen doesn't deviate, plot set-up anyway, from most of his other books. Hiaasen has lots of colorful characters he spreads out through the book, and you know somehow, someway, they are all going to cross paths at one point or another in a crucial plot point. And, like just about all of his other books (might be all of them--I have only read four), the story takes place in Florida.

This one actually takes place close to Key Largo, at a Disney rip-off called The Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, and it involves steroid taking security guards, gun shooting baboons, mafia witnesses, mob hits, a professional golfer, a chick who plays Robby Raccoon, a former governor of Florida living in the woods wearing a panther tracking collar, a chick who writes poetry for a phone sex line, and a protagonist who was hired because he writes great press releases. Oh, and it centers around two rat-like creatures who may or may not be extinct--or actually exist, stolen by two burglers who may or may not be complete fools. The book is funny, its fast paced, it does have lots of language, and was a breezy read.

62... "I Love You, Man"
Sez me on May 28th:  As for "I Love You Man", it was funny enough. Not awesome, not terrible, but good for some good laughs. Great moments, Paul Rudd's delivery is solid as always, and Jason Segel is someone I could get used to laughing at. The appearance of Jon Favreau was a welcome sight, too, as it always is. And somehow, the character playing Zoe, Paul Rudd's fiance, got hotter as the movie went on. Found out later it was Rashida Jones, the daughter of Quincy Jones. Not a clue.



Upon seeing it again, I can honestly say Paul Rudd is becoming one of my favorite actors, and this movie is downright funny.  Rated R for language.

61... "Heartless" by Kris Allen
Once again, one of those Idol performances that I'll remember for a very, very long time.  Sez me on May 12th:   The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen is singing Kanye West's "Heartless". This should be a hoot...

Now THIS... rocks. Strumming with the guitar, it reminds me of a John Mayer cover of a hip hop song... or when Derrick Harris covered "Baby One More Time" on guitar at A Very Deuce Christmas Party in 2000... I think Factor 7 performed too, but don't remember, but seriously... this is awesome.

And this will do what few songs will do... make me go to iTunes and download the song. And I might, tomorrow, do what I've NEVER done in all these years of Idol blogging... go and download the performance version. I didn't do that with Ruben, nor McPheever, nor Pickles (I love Pickles!) nor Carrie nor anyone else. But I just might with this one.



By the way.. I did.  While the acoustic version is better, its still great.

Coming up... Eating a lamb burger... Timberlake loves his mother... and later, the best picture of the entire year...

Missed Idol Part I (Denver)

Vacation is over!  Its time to head to Denver... since I'm trying to cram in two nights into a quick recap, I'll go quick and give you the highpoints...

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL
**Erin the Marine Wife swooned and possibly wee'd herself as they flashback to Daughtry, who auditioned in Denver some years ago.  And really, who doesn't like Daughtry?  I feel like, if Rob Thomas buffed up and became slightly more masculine, he might be Daughtry.

**Because they couldn't find another guest host, I'm sure, Posh Spice is back.  The woman is a stick.  Seriously.  Nikki Brown could look at Posh and say, "Wow.  I feel fat next to her." 

**This guy named Mark say people call him Jack Black, though I think he looks like Jonah Hill.   He sounds pretty good, too, doing "Tempted" by Squeeze.  He goes to Hollywood.

**Some guy named Mario.  I didn't get his last name, and it really doesn't matter. 

Commercial break

**Is it bad that I get a laugh out of people who come out cursing, swinging at the camera and yelling because they didn't get picked?  Not the ones who are just merely crying because they thought they had a shot, but those people who love to say stuff like, "They cut ME and they kept all them bad people!"

**Kimberly Kerbow.  Love her.  Love the song "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson, love her audition, I can dig it. 

**Montage of what seems like 3,000 people who get Golden Tickets.

**Karaoke host (!) Danielle Hayes is up next.  She's teary in the audition room, as she launches in "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge... this is the favorite song of The Lovely Steph Leann by the aforementioned musical lesbian (Melissa, not Danielle.  Or The Lovely Steph Leann). She doesn't sound perfect, but she's got this raspy voice (Danielle, not Melissa. Or The Lovely Steph Leann.. more on voices later) that sounds great.  I like her.  (Danielle, I mean.  Though I do like Melissa, particularly "Come to My Window".  And The Lovely Steph Leann too.)

Commercial break
**Bad costume/outfit montage.  While Kara the Hotness continues to be The Hotness, Posh has this weird hair thing going on.  Plus, Randy the Dawg held up a pencil and you couldn't see Posh behind it.

**Backstore. Cindy Jo is openly weeping.  Casey James is singing with a backstory.  And somehow, he takes his shirt off.. at the judges request.  Paula Abdul is spotted outside, holding a hotel key and begging to be let back in.  Mark, the hubby of Cindy Jo, is openly weeping.

**So, like, is Denver full of good looking chicks, or are they just picking and choosing the eye candy.  Tori Kelly is singing and... of course, I find out she's 16, and I'm a little creeped out at what I just said.  Never mind.  She sings John Mayer, isn't that memorable except for her fabulous hair, but she's on to Hollywood.

Commercial break

**Austin Paul.  You know this is going to be bad, as the video clip portrays him as... well, a dumb jock.  And a little egotistical.  And it helps that he's singing, "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer.  Can we spend more time on thos people who I enjoy hearing?  Like, Kimberly Kerbow's version of "The Way I Am"?  Anyway.

**He comes another guy, Kenny, who is the self-proclaimed "World's best singer" and they show him moving and dancing, and a few seconds later, failing.  With the offer to sing something else, they shut him down.  And after being shut down, he fulfills his own offer to sing something else.

Really, at no point in the decade of American Idol have any judge--Simon, Paula, Randy, Kristen Chenoweth, Posh, Tarantino, Shania, you name it, never has a single judge said, after initially saying, "Wow, you suck" then turned and said, "Wait, you sound great now!  We're glad you decided to go ahead and sing another song even though we told you that you suck... here's your golden ticket now!".  Never.  Just sayin'.

Commercial break

**You know those drawings where they draw your face a little bigger than normal, and they tend to really accentuate features on your face, with a very tiny body in some weird outfit?  Its pronounced Char-ick-a-chure, but I'm puzzled on the exact spelling... anyway, there was a girl who looked like a human version of one of those.  Scary.  Only slightly more scary than a scattin' Mexican. 

**Nicci Nix.  She flew from Florence, Italy, to audition in Denver.  But I don't like her.  How can you make such a judgement so soon, you ask?  Her voice is really annoying.  No, her singing is fine,  but her talking? 

Like, I went out with a girl that talked like that back in the single swingin' days, and I purposely didn't call her back for one reason--she was great, she was really pretty, she was Godly, and I had a good time... but she talked like Nicci talks.  I mean, if I knew that she could have sung all the time, like "Heeey... I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make dinner!"  or maybe "I-I-I-I-I will beeeee... at the deeeeentist office tomorrrrrooowww....", I might have called her back.  But I couldn't have taken it. 

Hey, don't hate.  Thats a voice I'd have to hear for the next 50 years.  That's why I think that you should enjoy kissing the one you end up with--that's a kiss you'll be getting for 99% of your mornings and evenings for the next four to six decades.  If you are waiting til the alter to kiss, so be it, I tip my hat... but The Lovely Steph Leann has a great kiss, has a great voice and can make a mean Sweet Potato Casserole.  There wasn't much left after that to mull over.  I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Oh, and Nicci made it to Hollywood.  Sigh.

Commercial break

**Finally, another Cindy Jo Weepy backstory, mostly about a dead dad not being able to see his daughter audition.  And they are going through so much.  And Haeley Vaughn wants to be the first black country star--hence, "Last  Name" by Carrie Underwood--but I'm sure she's forgetting to mention (or perhaps too young to know and appreciate) Hootie himself, Darius Rucker, and of course, Charley Pride.   And she's got a good voice.

And to wrap up, the final contestant of the day... a dude comes in wearing a bikini, and he's going to sing "Achy Breaky Heart".  And the best move of the day, all four judges get up and walk out in the first line of the song (that he flubs, by the way).

From Denver, 26 make it to Hollywood, but out of the ones they showed, the only ones I really liked were Kimberly Kerbow, Danielle Hayes

Finally! Some New Music!

FYI... its like, 220 in the morning, I still have two things to do for The Lovely Steph Leann tonight before I go to bed, and I have to be at The Happiest Place in the Mall around 830am... that means that I didn't listen start to finish on all the playlist songs. I will make necessary corrections this weekend... and for you Facebookians... the videos, nor the playlist, will show up. Do the right thing. Go to The Clouds. Bookmark it. Subscribe. You know you want it.

Well, it's been a while since you pulled up Clouds in My Coffee (or "The Clouds" as many, including my Seattle Gal Pal Mindy D'A likes to say) and heard music coming from your speakers. One reader (and I would say her name, but I can never spell it exactly right, and even though the correct spelling is one click away, its late and I'm too tired) kept hers on mute, because she surfs the net at her Pottery Paintin' Place, and now she'll have to go back to it.
As always, I run through the list of songs, and why I've put them on this month's playlist--some are repeats from past lists, but the theme of this month is simply "Songs I've Been Listening The Heck Out of For the Last Month or Two".

You know, for whatever reason, you just like a certain song over and over, then after a while, you think, "Okay, I'm done with it" and you drop the CD back into the CD wallet in your car, or you move the song back to the general population and out of your current playlist, to not be touched for who knows how long--could be months. Could be years.

"Your So Vain" by Carly Simon. A Clouds in My Coffee staple. I had some dreams, they were...

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. I have played this song enough to learn how to spell the guys name (and yet, I have trouble with Amaryllis Barnett... Amarylls... Amourellis...). Anyway, this is one of two songs I want played at my funeral. You know, if they do that montage of pics showing events of my all-too-brief life, I want this song playing in the background.

"Just the Two of Us" by Bill Withers. Classic. The music is catchy, soulful, it truly is a great song for a rainy day.

"You and I Both" by Jason Mraz. It took a while for me to come around to the Mraz bandwagon, but I really like this guy. At first, he was almost annoying, but after "The Remedy (I won't worry)" and "Wordplay" and "Geek in the Pink", he's got me sold on him. This one is my favorite. The video is both hilarious and awesome.

"My Favorite Mistake" by Sheryl Crow. No doubt, we all have those. Because of the invention of Facebook, and the large number of former classmates and people I would see every day back in the day, I choose not to list My Favorite Mistakes. Okay, fine, Angiejay. But thats only 'cause I'm still bitter. Ha!

"Bye Bye" by Jo Dee Messina. She had one heck of a One-Two punch with this song and "Heads Carolina, Tails California" (another great tune that I almost put on here)... she later did "Bring on the Rain" and "Burn", but not in succession, so I can argue that her One-Two "Bye Bye/Carolina, California" was one of the best back-to-back hits in country music.

My funniest Jo Dee Messina story... so check it out, I was going on missions to New York City in 2002. Right before, though, I had procured Jo Dee Messina tickets, four of 'em to be exact. So I told Wookiee that he could come, and I invited Jill Berthon and her friend Shannon Hanes. Not really a double date, though it is worthy of note that Jill and I had dated briefly in 2000... this time, though she was just my friend. I mean, there was this other girl named The Lovely Steph Campbell that I was sorta looking at and... well, back to the story...

Anyway, I go on the mission trip, I come back, and the concert is that night. So Wookiee, Jill and Shannon and I go, have a great time, we come home, night is over. Jo Dee does put on a great show, by the way... anyway, when I get home, my roommate Tom is furious with me. I ask Michael and Shawn, the other roommates, whats up and they tell me he's mad at me cause I took out Jill. First of all, I didn't "take out" Jill, we just went to a concert together, and secondly, why does Tom give a crap? Well, Michael informs me, because when you were gone to NYC, they've been out a few times. On dates.

Really? Had no idea. So I had to go and talk to Tom and tell him, and make him believe that I honestly had 1) No intentions on pursuing Jill, that it was just a concert, end of story and 2) I had NO clue that Tom was even interested in Jill remotely. That took some talking, but seriously, I had no idea.

Tom and Jill celebrated five years of bliss this past January, by the way.

"My Boo" by Usher & Alicia Keys. I'm not a huge Usher fan, but I really dig this tune. Admittedly, he does have a great voice, and toss in Alicia's sound, and you got a great slow jam.

"Love Song" by Sara Bareilles. For whatever reason, I got hooked back on this song last week, maybe the week before, and I've played it like, 23 times on my iPod. That may or may not sound like alot, but remember, I listen to about five different podcasts during the week, including Adam Carolla, The Sports Guy, PTI, Rush Limbaugh and Car Talk, and even squeeze in some Dave Ramsey when I can.

"When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton. Here's the other song I want played at my funeral. Play Israel's song first, then have this one complete the photo montage and end with the black screen that says "david dollar... 1975 - 21??" You can fill in the question marks with whatever year it actually is. Don't put question marks for my death year. That's strange.

"Clarity" by John Mayer. My favorite Mayer tune, though I've put it on here about four times tonight... I keep finding the versions that end halfway through the song. Hopefully it works.

"Alone" by Heart. Dude. This song rocks. Carrie Underwood rocked it several years ago on Idol, but you'll never surpass the greatness of Nancy and Ann Wilson. Nor will you surpass their waistlines nowadays. Can they not hire trainers with the bajillions they've made? They were 80s kinda hot back in the day.

"Weak" by SWV. I'll set the scene on this song... back in the early 90s, right after Boyz II Men hit it big, there was a rush of three-some and four-some black dude groups that tried to emulate Boyz' sound--Shai, Jodeci (from which KC and JoJo heralded), All 4 One, Hi-Five, Silkk, etc--and on the opposite gender side, En Vogue hit it big, and chick groups popped up... Jade, Zhane and of course, SWV. Personally? I loved me some SWV... Sista's With Voices. Their hits included "I'm So Into You" and the Michael Jackson samplin' "Right Here/Human Nature", and this one, which I think is a classic.


This video? SOOOOO 90s.

"Until I Fall Away" by The Gin Blossoms. Not really a one hit wonder group... they were responsible for not just "Hey Jealousy" and "Found Out About You", but this one and "Allison Road", all from their album "New Miserable Experience". I would consider them a "one album wonder", meaning one hit album and thats it. Their follow up, "Congratulations, I'm Sorry" had "Follow You Down", but thats all they had left. This song makes me think of Troy State University days, and in particular, Allison Hodnett.

This dashing redhead was a year younger than I, and she was just beautiful. Arriving as a freshman in the fall of 94, she was good friends with Mandy Stewart, a fellow sophomore like myself, and who was also my very good friend, and in fact, Mandy kept trying to encourage something between me and Allison... I finally asked her out, and she rejected me. Ah well, life goes on, right? Well, she was all weird around me for quite a few weeks--this is a trait you chicks have and its freakin' terrible, but thats another blog for another day--when one day she calls me up and asks me to come over to Shackleford Hall to see her. Of course I go. Duh.

I roll over there, rollin' in my 5.0, with my ragtop down so my hair can blow and... no, not really. I think I was driving a Chick Magnet Buick Century. Chicks went out with me for me back then, not cause of my wheels, cause my wheels suuuuuuuuucked for many, many years. Anyway, Allison and I stand outside the lawn space separating Shack and Pace Hall, and this is, oh, I dunno, 11pm? Midnight? No good conversations with me ever happened before 10pm. Anyway, she tells me how dumb she had been, and how she thought I was great, and how she was so sorry for acting the way she did and all, and how she didn't know if anything would come of it, but she wanted to see me again. And then...

"So... would you want to go the movies with me this Wednesday?" she said. There was a movie showing every Wednesday night on Troy's campus back then.
"Really? Like, as friends, or like, a real date?" I asked with baited breath and nervous anticipation.
"I dunno. Friends. No, a date. We'll make it a date. Seriously."
"So you are asking me out on a date?"
"Well... I guess I am. Will you go out with me?"
Now, while I smiled and said, "Sure, I'd love to," with a restraited acceptance, my stomach was now dancing the fox trot with my spleen, and my entire throat contracted so I could barely breath.

Imagine my disappointment when Wednesday afternoon, she calls me. She is not feeling well, she's been sick all day, and we're going to have to postpone our movie date. I'm let down, but heck, she asked me out, right? I mean, she has to be legitimately sick, right? I didn't talk her into going with me, she asked me out.

I went to the movies anyway, with some friends. And of course, she was there. With John Glasscock. I was kinda mad. I called her later, and her roommate, Liberty Leak, answered and wouldn't put Allison on the phone. You chicks are something else, I tell ya.

Now that I think about it, I don't know if that song fits Allison Hodnett... but it was a fun story to tell.

"Anything but Down" by Sheryl Crow. I don't care for her politics, and unlike Sheryl, I wipe with many, many squares, not just one, but I dig me some Sheryl Crow music. She was also heavily portrayed on my Troy State Soundtrack.

"Can't Let Go" by Mariah Carey. I've often lamented about how much I miss pre-skank Mariah. I think it actually all came crashing down for both she and Whitney Houston when they combined to do that really crappy song "If You Believe" featured in the equally crappy "The Prince of Egypt". Perhaps that one recording studio room couldn't hold that much talent all at once, the talents collided, both were altered and neither was ever the same. I miss she and Whitney both. This song takes me back to high school, though no one in particular comes to mind.



"World on Fire" by Sarah McLachlan. I also love me some Sarah McLachlan. I went to a concert of hers a few years ago. Both me and The Lovely Steph Leann observed that Sarah is quite popular with the members of the Lesbetarian Church. Quite the gay magnet, that Sarah, straight as she may be. Amazing video, by the way. This song, not the gay people.

"Impulsive" by Wilson Phillips. I daresay that YOU do not know a bigger Wilson Phillips fan than myself. I will fully and readily admit that this self-titled album and "Time Love and Tenderness" by Michael Bolton are two CDs that most people would hide in shame, but I will gladly annoucned that I proudly own. I will now put on a white hood and stroll through Ensley.


Back in the 90s, if you were a guy, you were either in the Chyna Camp or in the Wendy Camp, like myself. Its not politically correct, or even nice, but is the honest truth to say no one, and I mean NO ONE was in Camp Carnie. Not a soul.

"The Story" by Brandi Carlile. Dunno why, but this song just hits me. Maybe you should play this song at my funeral, but don't show photos of me... show that Grey's Anatomy video that went along with it. Its much more interesting and flows better with the song than my life would.



"Dead and Bloated" by The Stone Temple Pilots. Said it before, will say it again... Scott Weiland, I'm glad he's clean and sober, if he is still, but he was so much better when he was stoned. He sang better. He performed better. He even looked cooler. I might shoot up before I do the next KidStuf performance, maybe I'll draw the crowds.

I have to admit, though, though I love the Pilots, and think "Core" is a pheeeeeenomonal album, the main reason this song is on this page is because I want someone to hear "I AM SMELLIN' LIKE A ROSE ON MY BIRTHDAY DEATHBED... I AM SMELLIN' LIKE A ROSE CAUSE I'M DEAD AND BLOATED!!!" when they pull my page up. Its so enchanting.

"My My My" by Johnny Gill. Let's face it. This song is about sex. I can't butter it up, I can't explain it away, you just have to know this song is about a guy who loves his chick so much, he just can't get over how hot she is. My my my, my my my my... your so doggone fine. Really, ain't that the way it should be? The Lovely Steph Leann... my my my, my my my my...