The Last Weekend (The Happiest Place Finale III)

People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened. My store is closing this week. I own a store, did I ever tell you that? It's a lovely store, and in a week it'll be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap. Soon, it'll be just a memory. In fact, someone, some foolish person, will probably think it's a tribute to this city, the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something. I know because that's the sort of thing I'm always saying. But the truth is... I'm heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died, and my mother has died all over again, and no one can ever make it right.

This is the piece of dialogue that immediately came to mind from the very moment I heard Higher Up say those (un)magical words, "I'm here to tell you that your store is closing." Its a line from one of my top ten favorite movies of all time, "You've Got Mail". Kathleen Kelley's bookstore, "The Shop Around the Corner" has finally closed, mostly due to lack of business because of the recent opening of book megastore Fox Books. Kathleen is AOL IM'ing (remember, this is 1998, hence the name of the movie) NY152 with her story. I decided that when I wrote my last The Happiest Place in the Mall post, this would be the monologue I would lead with.

And that time is now.

THE FINAL WEEKEND
Our store is closed. During the final week, our store had a 40% off sale going those first few days, and on Monday, we began to empty walls. Mostly the back corners that weren't very visible from the front of the store. By week's end, the back walls of the store was empty. When I closed the store on Friday night, we had moved tables to block off the famed Plush Mountain and all that surrounded it.

On Saturday morning, Charlotta came in, as did Bo Peep and Hollipop, then Snow White.  Baloo and Grumpy joined us later.  And the store was open one final time. The crowd came in fast and furious, buying handfuls and armfuls and bagfuls of basketfuls of stuff, this time at an additional 75% off. Irena, a guest who I had known from previous visits, had purchases amassing over $400, but when the discount came in, her final bill was around $130.

Slowly but surely, all of the sweatshirts were on stage. Then were gone. All of the t-shirts were on stage. Then were bought. All of the Sharpay bedroom playsets were on stage. Then were bought. All of the Hannah Montana dolls, all of the Wall*E action figures, all of the mini-snowglobes... all on stage, then all gone.

By the end of the day, this was The Happiest Place in the Mall.  High School Musical water bottles, some Camp Rock picture frames and a few other things that are out of the pic.  This was taken right inside the doorway of the store.

The tables we were using to keep people from going towards the now empty back of the store were moving farther and farther to the center of the store. Snow White and I spent most of the morning pulling out cases of merchandise from backstage, unpacking it then putting it onstage, where much of it would be snatched up almost immediately.

HOLD THIS
One lady came to me, shoving a shirt, a few Cars notebooks and a Hannah Montana doll in my hand. The line was at least 20 people deep, wrapping around much of the store, and she asked me to hold the merchandise. I told her that we couldn't hold it, much like I had told Mom 1 and Mom 2, and that we just wouldn't... and she cut me off, saying she only needed 15 minutes, she needed to go meet someone, can we just hold it for 15 minutes, please please, and I said, "Fine. Fifteen minutes. And then it has to go back out."

So, a quarter of an hour later, maybe a little more, Charlotta calls to me from behind the box office... "d$! Please get this stuff out of here! I'm tripping all over it!" I said, "Yep" and I grabbed it. Before I could take two steps, a gentleman in line said, "I'll take those notebooks!" I nodded and handed them over. I put back the sweatshirt and the Hannah Montana doll. And of course, a few minutes later, the woman comes back in. I simply said, "I'm sorry ma'am, we had to put it back out." She huffed, she rolled her eyes and walked away. On a normal day, I would have been concerned--actually, on a normal day, we would have held the stuff for her--but today? Our last day of business... its gone. No concern. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? Sorry. Only a little. I was nice about, though.

Hollipop and Bo Peep worked feverishly ringing up merchandise for people, Charlotta was bagging stuff as quick as possible... the line grew and grew, with no end in sight. And after about four hours, the end was in sight. The front two walls had stuff on them, a few walls next to them did, a few tables had some items... and that was it. The store was coming to an end. Around 4pm, my time on the floor was done, and I clocked out.

I went into the bathroom, and I unbuttoned my red The Disney Store shirt for the final time. I took it off, laid it on a nearby shelf, and slipped on a t-shirt that I had brought. I gathered my bag, put in my iPod headphones and then slipped out.

THE FINAL DAY
The next day was clean up/party day. I came in around 1pm, helped take down the shelving units that for 21 years had been filled to the rafters with Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Handy Manny, Lizzie Maguire, Aladdin, The Lion King and more. In fact, Lion King stuff was what The Lovely Steph Leann got when she stopped by there in 2003 as part of her engagement day/scavenger hunt.

The shelving was down, I went into the now empty big room that was the stage, with all the empty fixtures shoved off to the side, the empty shelves on the walls collecting dust. The computers were turned off, the black screen of plastic over the main gates and windows. Outside we could even hear some people--kids too--wondering what happened, wondering why The Disney Store was there.

(My buddy Langer just sent me a FB chat message that said 'Hey... my daughter and I went by to see the abyss that was The Happiest Place...')

This past weekend, my friend The Freckled (Re)Becca told me she and her hubby, Bobowen, went by the mall, and some small child was standing in front of The Emptiest Place in the Mall, wailing loudly because he couldn't understand why he couldn't go in. I told The Freckled (Re)Becca that the kid should have gone and wailed in front of the mall manager's office. But... we'll get to that.

Let me finish the weekend... Sunday afternoon, I got ready for the closing party that night, working on things like trivia questions, setting up a prize wall we had for the Cast Members, helping the Magical Manager get ready for what she had planned... around 4:30, the Cast began to show up, one by one. Fauna, Flora, Merriweather. Snow White. Lady Kluck. Bo Peep (featured with me in the pic above). Hollipop. Charlotta. Baloo.  Grumpy.  Dinner. Pictures. Prizes. Videos. Trivia. Games. Memories. And... goodbyes.

THE REALITY OF IT ALL

Let's be real. I'd love to tell you I'll keep up with all of these people, these that I shared 40+ hours per week with for almost two years. I'd love to say that I'll be meeting them for lunch, or Facebooking or calling or whatever... but we all know that tends to go by the wayside as time goes by. People took other jobs, or are back in school, or are retiring, or are just staying at home with kids now... so when I say "goodbyes", I mean it for the most part. Perhaps not completely, but mostly. I'm under no illusions that I'll ever see at least half of these people again. Because that's what happens when the job you love ends. No, not there yet, just be patient.

After the party was over, I met up with Snow White and Hollipop at Sonic, where we enjoyed a few more laughs before saying goodbye again. Afterwards, I got in my car and drove back to The Cabana. The Lovely Steph Leann had already left for a weeklong business trip in Thomaston, GA, so I was alone. In the quiet of my home, I sat on my couch, not turning on the interweb, not turning on the television, not even turning on the iPod... I just sat quietly. I sighed, leaned back and just sat for a few minutes.

And, around 11am or so on Monday morning, I drove up to the Galleria parking lot, parked and walked into the back door of The Happiest Place in the Mall. I said hello to the Magical Manager and on the desk, I laid my Silver Pass (re: admission pass), the Silver Pass held by The Lovely Steph Leann, my Disney ID Card and my store key. And then... I left.

It was over. I was no longer employed by The Walt Disney Company.

Originally, this post here was to be much longer, but I realized it was too long, and would be better served by breaking this final Happiest Place post into 2 parts...  because its already written, its still one post--just in two parts.  Well, okay, its two posts, but the same column.  What I mean is... uh... okay... 

So, check back tomorrow when you'll get the answer to the question "Why did you close?" and "What's next?", or at least the answer I can give you...

High Maintenance in the Starbucks World (and other frivolities of the life of Dave)

You know, if you're in a Starbucks, be aware of your surroundings.

Case in point... yesterday afternoon, we were busy. It's getting colder, Christmas time is in the air, and more and more people are coming to Starbucks... here's why:

Maintenance. When its hot, and you want refreshment, you come to Starbucks for a frappuccino. Or Brusters for ice cream. Or Smoothie Planet/Tropical/King for a smoothie. Or Sonic for a Sonic Blast. Or Dairy Queen for a Blizzard. A ton of choices, which is why most sales go down during the hotter months.

But when its cold, where do you for hot chocolate, lattes or something to keep you warm? Starbucks. Oh, I'm sure there are other places to go as well, but Starbucks is one of the best places to go.

So, we're busy... three of us on the floor, I'm running the front register, but I need to hope over to help out in Drive Thru, because four cars just pulled in at the same time. I figure I'm just going to get these next two customers at the register and then I'll jump over to DT and save the day.

"Is that peppermint mocha good?" asks the old lady at the register.

"Its really good. I hope you like peppermint, though, because it is... well, pepperminty," I replied with a smile.

"Well, then I'll take one of them in a grande size. And give me one of them pumpkin breads out of the food case here," she asks.

"Alright, thats a grande peppermint mocha and a piece of pumpkin loaf," I said, "and that will be [ringing up] $5.91"

"5.91?? Why is it $5.91??" she stammered.

"Well, it's $3.48 for the peppermint mocha and $1.95 for the pumpkin loaf, plus tax," I replied, getting a little anxious. In the background, there's a woman and her son. The woman is picking up mug after mug after mug. Her son is picking up the stuffed bears, "Bearista Bears" they call them, out of the basket and piling them on a table.

"Well, I'll just take care of it then," she said, opening up her billfold. When she opens up the pocket, I see the glisten of coins. Lots of coins. Being with this company for five years, I knew what was coming next... I cringed as she said, "I'm just going to get rid of some of this change here."

She began to count out five dollars and ninety-one cents in various coinage pieces. Meanwhile, Kelly is in the drive thru getting killed. And the bar person is going to down in flames.

Finally she gets all of her change out, and I snap it up, handing her the pumpkin loaf and smling as I let her know her drink will be ready in a moment. Immediately, the lady behind her hands me a tumbler. "Here, hold this. Your a man, you can tell me how it feels," she says as she quickly turns back to the wall shelves to grab another.

The kid's bear pile is becoming quite high by now, nay, almost admirable. The beep is a constant sound in the headset in my ear, signifying another car, then another car, then another car in the drive thru.

The lady comes back to the counter with three tumblers. "What do you think?" she asked.

"Well," I answered, looking at the fat tumbler in my hand, "I like this one, but my issue with is that it won't fit into a car cupholder, so it depends on what he'll be using it for."

"Yeah, you're right," she says, standing there with four cups, looking at each. Remember, all of this has happened in the span of about five minutes, where I could normally shoot through about twelve customers or more.

I smiled, nod towards the pyramid of stuffed bears, and said, "Your son is quite the architect there." She looked over, sighed, and said, "Put those back." Her son obeyed, and put... two back. She grabbed on, grabbed a small stuffed penguin, piled them on the counter and said, "I'll take these."

I rang up all four tumblers, a small stuffed penguin and the Bearista Christmas Bear. "That'll be $74.03," I said, running the credit card she handed me. I bagged everything up, handed her the bags, thanked her and she was on her way. And just like that, the rush was over.

Now, what have we learned?

When you come into a Starbucks, its okay to take your time. It's okay to be in a hurry. We have customers in both catagories. But, be aware. Life does not revolve around you. You are given our full attention for a very brief time, so when you get that attention, don't take it for granted. Cause, there are lots of other people around who also want our full attention.

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I get to go give blood this morning. My buddy Ryan, and my buddy Rad-a-Tad too, works for the Red Cross, and anytime they have a big event, I try to go give. Lifetime, I've given two gallons and three pints, so I'm working towards three gallons lifetime.

Everyone has their blood donating horror stories... the first time I gave, it was in the Samson High School gym. We had blood races, with the guys pumping their fists on that hard plastic tube to make it flow faster. I never finished higher than 2nd.

My veins are pretty big. Nurses see them, they start drooling, then stand on the other side of the room and toss the needles in my arm. My worst experience? Well, two...

1) I was giving at Troy State, upstairs in the Adams Center student building. The line was really long, and I was running late for my freshman journalism 101 class, so as soon as I was done, I grabbed a rice krispy treat and ran... yes, ran... out the door.

For those of you who know Troy State, this is not a good thing. I dash down the stairs, out the Adams Center back doors, and then up the hill leading to Wallace Hall. Then, I run down the hill to the Wallace doors, then up three flights of stairs. I dashed into class at the last second, and sat down behind Miranda. Then the fact I just lost a pint of blood hit me.

"Whoa..." I whoozed. Miranda turned around, looked at me funny, and said, "You don't look so good."

2) I was giving on one of those mobile blood RVs, and the nurse had stuck the needle in. When she did, a little blood spurted out and got on the sleeve of my white shirt. "Oh dear," the nurse said, grabbing a little cloth. Then she started rubbing the blood spot on my sleeve, but as she did, her hand kept knocking the needle protruding from my arm. As it moved back and forth, stuck in my arm, it kinda hurt. "Um... uh, don't worry about the blood on my..." I stammered.

Not paying attention, she was talking to some other nurse, all the while, actually moving a needle that was sticking out of my veins. Not good times. Bad times, bad times.

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Sitting here watching "While You Were Sleeping", one of my favorite films. Yes, it will appear in the Dave100 somewhere along the way, once I get to it. And no, I haven't forgotten about the Dave100. Its a list that will make its way over the next few months.

Anyway, my little sister and I watched "Speed" the other night. We actually watched "Muriel's Wedding", which I was hoping I would like, and I did, but before either of us could move, or I could kick her out, "Speed" came on, and we were sucked in. We had a discussion about Sandra Bullock, who had her big breakout in this movie. Remember when both she and Meg Ryan were the absolute cutest things in the entire world? Back in the early 90s?

Well, "While You Were Sleeping" came on, and it reminded me of just how much I used to like Sandra Bullock. She has a Sydney Ellen Wade performance here, because there's not one time in the movie she doesn't look absolutely gorgeous. I had a friend in college named Jennifer Davis who smiled like Sandra Bullock. I think thats why Jennifer Davis was so hot.

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Speaking of hot chicks, I read in Entertainment Weekly that there's another sequel to "Gone With the Wind". The book, not the movie, but the book is coming. Anyway, the literary sequel is called "Rhett Butler's People", written by Donald McCaig.

I only mention this because they actually are planning a movie version. Apparently, in a poll, The Goddess is the most popular choice to play Scarlett O'Hara, narrowly edging out Rachel McAdams.

Now I have an issue... would I have to watch this movie? I mean, its associated with Gone With the Wind, which is normally something I don't associate with. But, I'll watch anything Ashley Judd in it. I mean, she's Ashley Judd. She's The Goddess. And she's been in some terrible, terrible movies. This might not be any different.

I guess Ashley is to me what Colin Firth is to The Lovely Steph Leann. Colin is president of the "Guys That Steph Wouldn't Leave Me For, but Would Hesitate Before Saying No" Club (who boasts members like Bradley Whitford and Patrick Dempsey). I guess Ashley is my own president, over members like Debra Messing and Kate Winslet.

Of course, none are Steph Leann. And like I tell Steph.... "I'm with you, not Ashley Judd, so what does that tell you?"

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Just got a message from my friend Tiffany Abbott (McCauley, or something like that, who knows), who was to Troy what Julie Wise was to high school. She tells me of the bathroom conditions at the Georgia/Troy game, which Georgia won... by only ten points, mind you.:

Georgia is in such a drought that they basically had signs posted at the football game bathrooms to the effect of "if it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." There were employed restroom attendants whose job is was to do the flushing.

I laughed hard. Talk about your potty humor.


Can you believe that after knowing Tiffany Formerly Abbott for twelve years, this is really the only picture I have? So, I figured I would post it just for comedic effect.

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And finally, if you're in Tuscaloosa and you want some BBQ, don't go to Dreamland. Go to Archibalds. I was helping train new Starbuckians for the new store in T'town last week, and decided to visit my brother-in-law Tyler on campus, and his roomdawgs, Trey, Jonathan and Stephen. After killing time and watching two or three episodes of "Family Guy", we were hungry. I suggested Archibalds.

I don't know where I'd heard it, but I had heard it was really, really good. It was later I realized that I had seen it on ESPN's College GameDay, where Todd Blackledge has a weekly segment where he visits local restaurants and such.

Anyway, after Tyler drove us around in circles for 30 minutes, we found it. It's this hole in the wall restaurant, where Archibald, this large, old black man, serves BBQ out of the pit that's actually in the wall. The building itself is really not bigger than a regular trailer.


Stephen, Jonathan, Trey, Archibald, myself and Tyler. Oh, Archibald is the big black man in the middle.

But the food was cheap. And FANTASTIC. For just over 8 bucks, I got a big plate with four ribs and a BBQ pork sandwich, and a 20 ounce Mountain Dew. None of us, not me, nor Stephen, nor Jonathan, nor Tyler, nor Trey said much as we chomped our food.

Seems the place has been around for at least 47 years, when he took over for his daddy. He laughed heartily, and seemed to enjoy the fact we were a bunch of young bucks--even me--eating in his restaurant. A good time was had by all.

And I was full. And it was nice.

5 Movies, 5 Days

It's been a movie kinda weekend for me... you know, where somehow the planets align, the stars twinkle just right, the time falls where it may, and you get the chance to watch several movies you've been wanting to see, all in a few days...

Friday Night -- "Ocean's Thirteen"
Loved "Ocean's Eleven". Thought it was clever, at the time it was original, and its funny. And its one of the few movies that I can totally recommend the commentary on the DVD (Pretty boy or not, Brad Pitt is a really funny guy)

"Ocean's Twelve" was different. I walked out disappointed. Didn't watch it again until it came on HBO a year later, then I gave it another shot... and liked it. Then I saw it again a few days later... and really liked it. It grew on me quickly, and though I don't consider it on par with the first, I can watch it and not be disappointed now.
So, "Oceans Thirteen" is out, and I wasn't sure what to expect. Reviews were really good, so I hoped it would live up... and it did. The gang is back, out to avenge the injuries suffered by Reuben at the hands of Willy Banks (a smarmy good Al Pacino). I won't go into detail about the plans, but know that Linus (a great Matt Damon) gets a main part this time, Turk & Virgil lead a workers strike in Mexico, Basher channels his inner Apollo Creed mixed with Evel Kneviel, someone cries over Oprah, you feel great sympathy for That Guy Hall of Famer David Paymer, and both Bruiser and Toulour make appearances, as does Terry Benedict. What happened to Tess? You find that out too. And only because I had a huge crush on her in 1989, I'm taking Ellen Barkin over a combined Catherine Zeta-Jones and Julia Roberts (For, like, two months, "Sea of Love" was my favorite movie of all time in 1989).

Like Twelve, Thirteen is like one big inside joke, but unlike Twelve, Thirteen lets you in on the joke so you can laugh too. And like Eleven, you may not laugh all the way through Thirteen, but you'll find your self amused the whole time.

Saturday -- "Knocked Up"
If you didn't liked "The 40 Year Old Virgin", then you won't like this. Directed by the same guy, Judd Apatow, it has a lot of the same people, including Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann, and Seth Rogan is promoted to leading man. Steve Carell even makes a cameo.

Hotness Katherine Heigl is an up and coming E! news reporter who, while hanging out with her sister, gets a little too drunk. She has a foolish one night stand with Ben, a guy that it would take a very drunk hot chick to be with, and kicks him out the next day. Eight weeks later, she discovers she's going to have a baby. Ben's baby.

So the movie progresses as Alison and Ben try to make a relationship work, at first just for the baby, and then after finding out they really do like each other, for each other. This movie is rude, crude, lots of F-bombs, a couple of boobage scenes (though only one is real, the others are the guys watching boobage on tv, which is part of Ben's job. You'll find out why when you see it) and is actually lots of fun. Several things I liked about this movie...

• Paul Rudd. This guy is really funny. He's been in "Clueless" (which Steph Leann loves), "Wet Hot American Summer" (a highly underrated comedy), "Anchorman" and much more, and each time, he's fantastic.
• Katherine Heigl. I'm so glad she's more than Izzie from "Grey's Anatomy", and "Nicole" from "My Father the Hero"
• Abortion was never really considered. It is mentioned as an option, but without explaining how she came to the decision, Alison decides to keep the baby, as if its the only thing she could do. I respect that.
• Ben's buddies. Several no-names, including Jonah Hill, who was in "40 Year Old Virgin" and "Accepted", make up Ben's entourage, and its classic. If the Deuce Guys weren't Christ-followers, and were into weed and bongs, this might be them. I'd be Ben, of course, with the hot chick.
• Ryan Seacrest. Hearing the "American Idol" host curse is just about the funniest thing in the movie.
• Leslie Mann. Also in "Virgin", where has she been? Why am I just now discovering her?
• It's good that Steve the Pirate is still working
• Maggie Seaver! We missed you!
• The pop culture references. From Meg Ryan's boobage to Matthew Fox ("You know whats interesting about Matthew Fox? Nothing!") to a hilarious Steely Dan dis to various other movies and celebrities that are randomly dropped in, it sounds like the Deuce guys sitting around. Without the weed and bongs.

I recommend it only if you wanted to see it--its worth the laughs. But know what you are getting into.

Sidebar: Speaking of Paul Rudd, if you ever have the chance to rent or watch Neil LaBute's "Bash: Latter-Day Plays", do so. It premiered on Showtime in 2001, shot as it was being performed onstage. Three separate pieces, one each with Calista Flockhart (who knew she could do more than Ally McBeal?) and Ron Eldard, both engaging in violence in different ways. The jewel, however, is the middle one with Calista and Paul Rudd portraying a couple attending a wedding. The night drags on, with the girls hanging at the hotel, and the boys going out for a night on the town... and end up precipitating a vicious hate crime. Paul's story telling, and the evil in his character, is chilling. If ever I was to direct theater outside of church, I'd do this in a heartbeat. You can pick up a copy of the script online.

Monday -- "The 40 Year Old Virgin"
I might have been one of nine people in the world who had not seen this movie, and I laughed all the way through it. If you don't like American Pie humor, this is not for you. I say American Pie, but the humor is not as directed at teenagers, as it is directed at the side of us that laughs at things we know we shouldn't laugh at.

Steve Carell, in his star making turn, plays Andy. Andy works at SmartTech, collects valuable toys and though 40, has never had sex. When his buddies Dave (Paul Rudd), Cal (Seth Rogan) and Jay (Romany Malco) discover this, they make it their mission to... well, make him not a virgin. One attempt includes a funny turn by Leslie Mann, but it, like others, fail miserably. Enter Trish (Catherine Keener, who we'll get to in a minute), who works across the street at the eBay store

Though very crude, with lots of F-bombs and lots of crude terms for various things, this is, at its heart, a sweet movie. And oh, its funny... I laughed for ten minutes when Dave used the phrase "Man-o-lantern". First, the fact he's a virgin is met with very little ridicule, which is great considering this world wants you to have as much sex as possible. Secondly, though morons they may be, his friends turn out to be pretty loyal in the end. And third, Catherine Keener.

I really liked this film, even better than "Knocked Up"... Seth Rogan was funnier here, and Katherine Heigl is no Catherine Keener, who delivers a Sydney Ellen Wade performance.


What can I say? I really like Cat's part in this movie. She sparkled.


Sidebar: "Sydney Ellen Wade Performance". Its time we had a term for this. Every so often, when watching a movie, there is a leading lady who just shines. I mean, maybe not just acting wise, like Charlize Theron in Monster, but perhaps a performance that just... glows. As in, she lights up every scene she's in. Charlize, who was devastatingly good in "Monster" does not, at any time, glow.

This might be subjective, but the epitome of this was Annette Bening in "The American President". Her character, Sydney Ellen Wade, made me love this movie. Annette never looked as good before, or since, that movie. She just... glowed. Lit up the screen with every step, every word. No, its not subjective... I'm right.

Now, I was tempted to call this rare phenomenon an "Audrey Hepburn Performance", but that was too broad a term--Audrey was in a class all by herself, so I use Sydney Ellen Wade to describe such a performance. Other Sydney Ellen Wade performances? Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail" and Brittany Snow in "John Tucker Must Die" (I didn't say the movie had to be good... but she owns that flick). Oh yeah, and now Catherine Keener in "the 40 Year Old Virgin".

Tuesday -- "Breach"
If you don't know the story, in early 2001, Robert Hanssen, a top dog in the upper crust of the FBI, was arrested and charged with treason. He had been selling US government and military secrets to the Soviets and Russians for the better part of 16 years. On the outside, he looked like a great family man and patriot, but the truth was he was a total jerkweed in every way. Wikipedia has his story here.

"Breach" is the film version of that story, starring Chris Cooper as Hanssen, and Ryan Phillippe as Eric O'Neill, a young FBI agent wannabe assigned to be Hanssen's aide, and to be undercover for the FBI to swipe Hanssen's palm pilot, copy documents and so on.

Based on a true story, and with the real O'Neill serving as film advisor, this is pretty close to how it went down, if I understand it correctly. This is not a film to watch when you are sleepy, but it is a great movie. It builds slowly, with the first 45 minutes showing you what a great guy Hanssen is, almost wanting you to play the part of all the people that knew him before the truth was known. After that, however, you begin to see how... well, evil Hanssen is. His actions and spying ended up putting dozens of US undercover agents in danger, including three who were executed in Russia as a direct result.


This picture of the real Robert Hanssen always creeped me out. Either he looks like too nice of a guy to do these things, or he looks like a child molester.

One thing the film does is portray Hanssen as a brilliant mind who spied not for the money, but for the game, because he felt unappreciated and underused by his own country. Gary Cole (whom I feel bad for, because no matter what he does, he'll always be Lumbergh), President Palmer and an always fantastic Laura Linney (one of my top ten favorite actors... though I can't decide if she's pretty in a Jennifer Herndon sort of way, or just pretty...) are supporting roles, while Chris Cooper is awesome, and Ryan Phillippe makes me believe in his character, something I'm not sure he's ever done. Well, except for maybe in "Antitrust".

Sidebar: If you get the dvd, make sure to watch the "Dateline" segment in the special features. It originally aired in 2001, right after Hanssen had been arrested, and Chris Hanson is the host. He's got huge hair, and the segment is grainy (what, NBC didn't preserve its film six years ago?), but you still expect Robert Hanssen to be sitting at the counter eating cookies, with Chris Hansen appearing, asking him to sit down. "Um... I didn't know they were Russians, sir"... "I know you knew they were Russians--I've got the documents right here. What are you doing??"

Tuesday -- "Ghost Rider"
By the time "Breach" was over, my mind was wiped out. Tense, taut political thriller, I needed something light and campy. Enter "Ghost Rider".

Based on the Marvel comic, "Ghost Rider" tells the story of Johnny Blaze, who sells his soul to the devil to save his father. Well, the devil's son is loose and trying to take over, and so the devil will let Johnny Blaze out his contract if he'll take on the son and... does it matter?


The skull guy was Nic Cage's original costar in Face/Off, but he dropped out and was replace by Travolta weeks before shooting. Somewhere, at least one of three Lattas is laughing.

Lots of cartoony violence, a skull on fire riding a chopper on fire, Nic Cage at his "I've got my Oscar, I don't care anymore" best (see: "Capt. Crap's Mandolin", "Lord of War", "The Wicker/Weather/Family Man"), and... Sam Elliott. You cannot go wrong with any movie that has Sam Elliott in it, especially if he's narrating. When they make the movie of my life, I want Sam doing the intro.

It's hard for me to root for an ingenue that I don't find attractive (which is why I avoid Angelina Jolie movies... well, that and most of them suck), so it was hard to root for Nic Cage and Eva Mendes to get together... beyond that, however, I found "Ghost Rider" to be fun, breezy, not too serious and likable. And that's important.

And hey... I'm off Wednesday and Thursday... who knows what I'll get watched by then...