late night rocky

So it's midnight on Friday night, and I'm watching Rocky III. 


I've written about the Rocky series before, notably the fact that Rocky IV is not a good film (though highly entertaining) and then I had the brilliant idea to put a spiritual spin on the whole thing. But Rocky III?

The Lovely Steph Leann was out tonight at a scrapbooking crop at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), so after I finished getting Campbell to bed, some household chores and then catching the last half of "Django Unchained" on EPIX2, she finally came in. She went to get ready for bed, Django finished his killing cycle, and I flipped channels only to find nothing on... well, there's Rocky III.

She sat on the couch, and then we had this exchange:

Me: You know, Rocky I thru IV are really hard to rank because...
The Lovely Steph Leann: ...because they aren't very good
Me: What? Rocky I is good.
The Lovely Steph Leann: I know. I've seen it. 

I had to explain... and when I had to explain, I was really talking out loud, because though The Lovely Steph Leann loves me and loves talking to me, hearing a monologue on the Rocky films probably tested her tired patience.

Nonetheless, I had to explain... the Rocky films are difficult to quantify...because the original Rocky is a really good movie. It's got a great story, great performances and the ending is heartwarming... but it's just so slow. Rocky II is the extension of Rocky I, so while it's also slow, it's not as slow, but the story also suffers because it's really a retread of Rocky I... with the same ending, except a slight difference in the winner of the match.

Rocky IV is probably the most entertaining, but really... the story is so ludicrous that it's hard to even fathom how it could happen. 

We could talk about Rocky V, but it doesn't exist. It's on the mythical shelf with Caddyshack 2, the Ring 2 and every Police Academy after part 4... movies that you have only heard about, but aren't actually there.

Granted, "Rocky Balboa", or Rocky VI was actually a pretty decent story and a good wrap up to the entire Rocky saga... but it was more pleasant than anything.

That leaves Rocky III. Perhaps the greatest of all Rocky movies. You have a fantastic villain, Clubber Lang (played with vicious glee by a hugely popular in 1983 Mr. T)... you have the emotion odds, as our hero Rocky admits his fear... you have the overcoming odds, as Rocky has to learn a new way of doing things by going to his former enemy... you have the most annoying character actually bearable for one film, that being Adrian (Talia Shire, who wasn't good in any of these)... and heartbreak, as Mick takes a tumble to the great ring in the sky.

What's not to love. Plus, in watching it back tonight, the ending match is just great. And somewhat believable. If you can believe that.

That's my thoughts on Rocky III. Strangely enough, The Lovely Steph Leann already went to bed.

By the way, when I caught "Django Unchained", it was the scene where Schultz and Django are on the hill, about to take out the criminal who is farming, and Django is having trouble shooting him as the guy is with his own son.  

In the time it took to finish this movie, finish Rocky III, chat with The Lovely Steph Leann, catch the beginning of "Django Unchained" on EPIX3 as it came on, it's now back at that same scene. This is my cue. 

What's my prediction for the next few hours? Sleep.

movies of 2013... almost the best

So, there's the worst movies of the year... then there are the movies that were somewhere in the middle... now, in what's becoming a four part 2013 movie reflection (ReFlicktion?!), here are the movies that were good.. maybe really good... but just noooooot quite good enough to break my Top 10 of 2013...

And this is in no particular order...

This is the End (2013)... Raunchy yet hilarious, the ensemble cast of Seth Rogan, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson and Jay Barachel--if you don't know all of the names, if you saw the faces, you'd recognize them from "that movie..." Kudos to Michael Cera and Emma Watson for two unbelievably hysterical cameos.

Now You See Me (2013)... Really clever premise with Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco (James' little brother) as magicians hired to perform a few heists. Becomes a bit too unbelievable towards the end, but a strong cast includes Mark Ruffalo and Morgan Freeman.

We're the Millers (2013)... Jason Sudeikis is a small time weed dealer who is stuck owing lots of money to corporate suit Ed Helms, and agrees to smuggle a huge amount of weed from Mexico to the US, and hires on a "family" to make it look more legit. Its really funny is a wrong, Hangover sort of way, but one main reason to see this film is to really see how good of an actress Jennifer Aniston has become.

Iron Man 3 (2013)... Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) is having an identity crisis, at the same time another global madman (this time portrayed by Ben Kingsley) is set on world destruction. A solid, fun twist in the middle gives this film some real life, as does an excellent turn by Kingsley as The Manderin. Gwyneth Paltrow and Don Cheadle are also very likable, and Guy Pearce is a good bad guy too.

 

Melanie playing a chick who is just losing at life

Hello, I Must Be Going (2013)...  I do love movies with a little quirk to them... add to the fact I'm a fan of Melanie Lynskey, and you have this movie.  She's a character actress who you would know from "Up in the Air" as George Clooney's sister, or Reese Witherspoon's hometown BFF in "Sweet Home Alabama" (she's the one with the "baby... in a bar..").  Anyway, she's a 30 something woman who is divorced, at her parents house, life going nowhere, and she develops a crush on a much, much younger dude.  Its a sweet story, I promise.

Seven Psychopaths (2012)... An all awesome, all star cast with Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Tom Waits and Colin Farrell in the lead tells this hilarious, violent tale of mobsters, gangsters, a screenwriter at the wrong place at the wrong time, and a kidnapped Shit Tzu.  I laughed alot, and enjoyed it throughout. 

The Longest Yard (1974)... Lest you think this is the tripe from a few years back with Adam Sandler, I say nay.  Oh, nay nay.  This is the 70s original, with Burt Reynolds, teaming up with some rough prisoners to form a football squad to take on the prison guards with a sadistic warden, played to the hilt by Eddie Albert.  I actually haven't seen the updated version, so I don't know how it compares, but I really liked this one.

The Magnificent Seven (1960)... Based on the Japanese masterpiece "The Seven Samarai", this one takes the story to the old west, where a poor Mexican village hires Yul Brenner to help defend them from a jerkface (Eli Wallach) who comes in to steal, pillage and plunder several times per year.  The cast is strong, with Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, James Coburn and Robert Vaughn making up some of the Seven, and many scenes mirror the Japanese original exactly, sometimes word for word.  Great story, though a little long.

Seven Samurai (1960)... Speaking of which, I watched this one right before the Seven above, and I'm glad I did.  Though I don't usually get too enthralled with any movie featuring subtitles, I did like this alot. I can see the influence of this film on modern directors, especially Tarantino.  It is one that I probably won't watch again, but as a moviephile, am very, very glad I watched this time. 

Cabin in the Woods (2012)... From my review: "If you like suspense and scary type of films, but want something different, then check this flick out. There is a needless boobie scene in the middle, and lots of language... plus slasher violence, so get ready for that."  I thought it was creative, and the Bradley Whitford/JK Simmons scenes are funny and out of nowhere.



For me, its Amy Adams.  For all y'all, its Timberlake. Everyone wins.

Premium Rush (2012)... Perhaps the greatest bike messenger movie of all time... from my review... Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fun, Michael Shannon is a perfect creep, and the supporting cast is likable enough to keep the film going. Again, the plot is a bit far fetched, especially when you actually learn the contents of the bag, but still... check it out. PG-13 for language."

Trouble with the Curve (2012)... From my review: "It's pretty good. Slow at times, but the story in engaging, and having a grizzly Clint Eastwood, a really good Timberlake and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, on screen doesn't hurt."

Dredd (2012)... Great action flick. A billion times better than that Sly Stallone crap from the 90s. Violent, language, but well shot and lots of fun.  Its cool watching someone as lovely as Lena Headley play the villian, and I love the fact that Dredd never takes off his mask.  (I'm not alone in this either... its got a 7.1 on IMDb, while the Sly version is only at 5.3)

Here Comes the Boom (2012)... From my review... "DO watch this movie. Seriously. This movie is fantastic. Well, I say that being a Kevin James fan... yes, he's kinda dopey, and yes, his movies won't win any awards ("Zookeeper"? Its awful. But awesome. And I love it), but this is a delightfully fun story." (by the way, I still mean what I wrote then)

Blackfish (2012)... So, CNN picked up and showed this documentary essentially excoriating Sea World and their practices of animal captivity.  The main focus is on a killer whale named Tillicum, who was directly involved with the deaths of at least two trainers while in a show... its fascinating, its enthralling, and its almost upsetting, especially when former Sea World workers are on camera blasting the park and how it does business...

This movie would have made my Top Ten, except, like many documentaries, its stylish and well done, but much of it may or may not be exaggerated... or even false.  Many of the trainers that spoke up have come forward to say they were misrepresented (though when someone says something like "The way Sea World treats these animals is just criminal... if I had known it would be like this, I would have never gone to work there", I'm not sure how that's said misrepresented), so the truth lies somewhere in the middle.  I encourage all to watch it--but take it with a grain of salt.

So there we go... that's Part 3 of 2013 movie... coming up, finally... my favorite movies of 2013.  And because I'm awesome and so generous, you won't get a Top Ten... you will get TWO Top Tens... My 10 favorite films of 2013 that I saw in 2013... and my 10 favorite films that came out before 2013 that I saw in 2013... wait, did that make sense? 

(12,436 words written, 7564 words to go in #500Words Challenge / #20KWordsInJanuary)

if sin can bleed... thoughts on rocky IV part 2

So yesterday, I wrote a little piece after watching Rocky IV, because... well, its my site and I can talk about whatever.  I just thank you for reading...

This is my spiritual take on Rocky IV.  I wrote this in 2002, after a Bible Study, where a girl named Fish taught.  She used this movie as an example, butchering the concept, the names and the dialogue.  So I wrote the following... part of it might be a little redundant, as some of the same thoughts I wrote then I also carry similar opinions on now, but I hope you get my drift...

Anyway... I called it a Rocky Christian Life

 

One the best the worst the best the most interesting
Cold War'esque opening shots ever

Rocky IV is such a guilty pleasure. Seriously... the movie itself is incredibly cheesy, the plotline is a little thin, the death of icon Apollo Creed, while tragic, was almost deserved. Come on, did he really think he could beat Drago? I mean, Drago probably put an even bigger smack down on him simply because Creed entered to James Brown's "Livin' in America".

Very stereotypical and formulated. Rocky loses his best friend to the big bad Russian Ivan Drago, and then challenges Drago to fight. Do you realize that Ivan Drago has only six lines of intelligible dialogue the entire 112 minutes? (I cannot be defeated... You will lose... I must break you... If he dies he dies... Until the end... and You're dead) We absolutely can't get away from the standard driving fast in the hot sports car at night while Survivor song plays, because this gives us flashbacks to previous Rocky movies so in case you didn't see I-III, you can catch up. Adrian's "You can't win!!!" standard speech. I hated her.

 

Sidebar: Incidentally, if you only see a single Rocky, catch part III, just for the Clubber Lang/Mr. T. scenario. It doesn't take itself as seriously as I and II which gives that cliffhanger ending (like there is more to come), but doesn’t start down that ridiculous road that over-the-top IV takes you on, which leads to the disaster crap that is Part V.

 

Sidebar, written today, not in 2002... the song "There's No Easy Way Out", which plays while Rocky speeds through the night... for whatever reason, I always attributed this song to the band "Survivor", as they did "Eye of the Tiger" and "Burning Heart", so why not this one, right?  Its actually a dude named Robert Tepper, and if you look at his Wiki page, you'll see he's done several songs for TV and film, including the theme from the Sly classic "Cobra".  Two things--first, Tepper released his first few albums in the mid-80s, his 3rd in 1996 and his 4th in 2012.  Lots of time between.  Secondly, "Cobra" is important to note because its the film that Sly Stallone did... INSTEAD of Beverly Hills Cop, which was written specifically for Sly.  We see how that worked.  Some dude named Eddie Murphy did BH Cop, I've heard it worked out okay.

 

Okay, sorry, back to 2002, and "Rocky IV" talk...

 

Sly Stallone with his Nighthawks beard... wait... what?  Lando Calrissian
AND Rocky Balboa are in this film?!?!  How did I not know this?!?!

One of my favorite parts of IV is when Rocky and Drago finally meet. Leading up to this, you see Ivan Drago doing all these highly technological workout routines, with heart monitors, steroids, in 1985-state-of-the-art bowflex soloflex leg iron pump arm twist weight control thing deal pumper muscle builder machines. And Rocky? He's grown this "Nighthawks"-like beard, he's dragging logs, he's punching walls, he's running up a mountain through the four feet of snow, he's chopping wood, he's pulling Paulie and Adrian (is she actually needed in these? When she changed her mind right before the fight and flew to Russia, I would have had the KGB shoot her plane down... would've made a great subplot) in a wooden card. Russian technology versus good ol' American spirit and heart.

So, in the fight, Drago is pounding away at Rocky, tearing him up. Rocky is doing his dance moves that Apollo Creed taught him in III, when he was going up against Clubber Lang, and of course, demolition man Ivan is just punching away. But suddenly, out of nowhere, Rocky slams his fist into Drago's head... and... and... oh my gosh! He's cut the Russian open! He's cut the Russian open! And there it is... the once invincible Russian is bleeding from a cut to his eye. In the immortal words of Ah-nold in the immortal classic Predator... "If it bleeds... we can kill it".

Have you ever had habitual sins? Just stuff that keeps rearing its ugly head over and over? No matter how many times you go to the cross with it, intending on leaving it there, somehow another you lay everything else down and end up sneaking that sin into your back pocket. When you walk away, it’s with you. You know the routine... you sin, you ask forgiveness and a short time later, you sin the exact same thing. Sometimes in the exact same manner. Be it gossip, lust, anger, pride, jealousy... whatever.

There are so many tried methods of breaking free... journals, books, speakers, conferences, people you consider more godly than thou, lessons, magazines, whatever... some simple, some complicated, of how to break free of that sin.

I think a problem for me is on the road we call God's Will, I tend to stop when I screw up. Instead of accepting God's grace, reveling in the freedom, I stand in my own depravity, guilt ridden, overwhelmed with anger at myself for betraying God. Over and over, yourself you judge, dreading the consequences of your actions. As a friend of mine once said, "When God says 'Arise and go', I say back 'Wait, don't you understand what I've done?'"

So instead of pressing on, driven by a pursuit of Him, I just stop. And that big bad Russian Ivan Drago pounds away at me, uncaring. "If you die... you die". Satan looks at me square in the face, and says, "I must break you". And the slaughter begins. What to do? Do I succumb to the Adrians of the world, and believe the "YOU CAN'T WIN!!" myth, what the secular society tells me everyday?

Or do I keep going? Do I keep training? Training, not by those crazy worldly machines... but by the simplistic methods of prayer, devotion, mediation, study of His Word... and mind you, I'm not training to "be ready to be used by God", I'm training to "be ready when God decides He's going to use me to fight".

"Apollo was like a son to me. I raised him. And when he died, a part of me died too. But now you’re the one... you're the one who has to make sure his death didn’t go for nothing. You're the one. Do it. Do it!"--Duke, Apollo's former coach, who is training Rocky in the cabin in Siberia.

"Christ was a son to me. I raised him. And when he died, your bondage died too. But now, you’re the one. You’re the one who I desire to make his death not in vain. You’re the one. Do it. Do it!" God, talking to you and me, challenging us to move forward.

 

Suddenly, we realize that Christ didn't die just to give us grace when we sin, he died more so to give us Freedom to not sin. Let me say that again, because that is such a huge statement to make...
 

Christ died not for grace for sinning, but for Freedom of not sinning.

Isn't that just slap you in the mouth and grab a biscuit amazing? Blows me away just to think about that... let that soak in today. There is daylight at the end of the tunnel, I promise.

When you realize this information, that we don't have to be trapped by sin, that Satan's power over us is nothing, suddenly we can fight back. We can start throwing punches instead of taking them.  

Oh my gosh! He's cut Satan open! He's cut Satan open! Satan is bleeding from a cut above his eye!

Remember... Sin. If it bleeds, you can kill it.

If I can change... you can change... we all can change!!!!

if I can change: thoughts on rocky IV part 1

Usually I don't spend two posts discussing a movie... but I have a lot to say about this one...

Let's be clear about something... "Rocky IV" is not a good film.  Its just not.  Its poorly acted, the premise is ridiculous and the "Change" speech from Rocky at the climax is overdramatic and preposterous.  And yet, here I am at 1104pm on a Monday night, unable to look away at the wonderful craptastica before me.

I won't even go into the plot of this movie, other than to say that Ivan Drago, the Russian, challenges the American, Apollo Creed, to a fight, kills him in the ring, then is challenged by Rocky Balboa to a fight, in Russia, on Christmas Day.  Or some silliness like that.

Anyway, here are a few random thoughts I had while watching tonight...

So, Apollo and James Brown are close enough that JB will perform at Apollo's match... yet JB can't show up for the funeral?  Sketchy.

Rocky didn't stop the fight.  Rocky, a seasoned fighter, someone who knows the immediate results of such injuries and beatings that Ivan Drago is laying upon Apollo, hesitates not once, but TWICE... first, between rounds, when Apollo begs him to not interfere.  Okay, I get it, your bestie wants to keep going.  But when Ivan is pounding Apollo's face to a bloody pulp, Rocky should have thrown in the towel.  More is not made of the fact Rocky watched as Apollo Creed essentially was beaten to death. 

By the way, Apollo Creed had no business in this fight.  None.  He was an old fighter who basically bullied his way into the fight against a dude who was bigger, stronger, and coming from Mother Russia, had been taught to hit people and not show emotion.  Ivan Drago didn't kill Apollo Creed.  Apollo Creed killed Apollo Creed.

"You can't win!" is Adrian's cry to Rocky.  When she showed up in Russia, I would have told her to take her doubting tail home.  Biggest fight of my life upon me, my life possibly in danger, I don't need her kind of negativity.  Worst wife ever.

David Hasselhoff didn't need to be on the Berlin Wall.  Survivor did.  They sang the soundtrack that ended the Cold War.

Speaking of Survivor, sometimes late at night, when I have a lot on my mind, I like driving around really fast, blaring "Burning Heart" and thinking about my life.  Usually the last three movies worth of my life, anyway.

If I could go back in time, I'd punch my 9 year old self in the gut for thinking Brigette Nielson was pretty.   Back then, she was a looker.  But I'd show my young self a picture of her with Flava Flav from 2007. "See!  See little d$!  This is what happens!"  Of course, I'd have nightmares from then on, which I guess in a paradoxical way would be giving me nightmares now.  Perhaps its best that I don't time travel.

Bottom left front of Paulie's awkward robot.  I do believe there was a CD player there.  In 1984.  Never noticed it.  Maybe while I'm back in time horrifying my young self, I'll point this out to lil me, and explain. 

Finally, I'd like to give you the oldest email in my inbox, something I held onto until I could share it.  It was written by my friend Scott Latta, submitted to me on July 3rd, 2007, and it was his description of the true legacy of Rocky IV.  He says:

In high school, I was this close to writing an essay titled, "If I can change: How 'Rocky IV' did more for US/Russian relations than the Reagan Administration." There's an inside joke among fans of "Rocky IV" that the fourth installment in Sylvester Stallone's epic series was what actually put an end to the Cold War (That, and "'Rocky V" never happened), and the truth is, "Rocky IV" is so ripe with Cold War innuendo that's it's hard to believe the Reagan Administration didn't at least watch the movie at some point during the affair. Take for instance: The Russian Express, Ivan Drago ("Death from above"), comes to America and promptly challenges Apollo Creed, American icon, who ends up getting killed in the fight after a showboat entrance to the ring in Las Vegas where he dons a Founding Fathers wig and dances to James Brown's "Living in America" (An atmosphere not unlike Valleydale's "Celebrate America" Sunday).  (d$'s note... looking back, I only now at this very moment understand and appreciate how freakin' funny that last line is...) 

Rocky then challenges Drago in Russia, on Christmas, for no money, in an East vs. West fight that ends with the Russian crowd changing their evil Communist ways and one of the most heartfelt, teary, and unintelligible speeches ever given by the Italian Stallion. Along the way we see the evil Russian take steroids and get to experience the fake accent of Brigitte Nielsen ("You think that you are so veddy good, and that we, are so veddy bad."), who was actually married to Sly Stallone during production. All in all, a tour de force of American cinema.

Tomorrow... a little spiritual application, how Ivan Drago is like the sin in your life, and how you, YOU are the one now... no, I'm not kidding.