The Idol Eighties

Just rolled up into town from a trip down in Andalusia, Alabama, seeing the family and showing Campbell off to everyone.  I even took my computer with me, thinking I'd have a few free minutes to blog something or another, give you, my fair Coffee Drinkers, something to read and look at, but alas, by the time 1140 rolled around last night, I was tired as a one-armed paper hanger.

That being said, I have much to blog, some funny, some pics, and some personal, but first, we have a little matter of a episode of American Idol to discuss.

Now, I must tell you going into this performance episode, I already know who has been voted out.  The Lovely Steph Leann is in the dark, as she's good at avoiding such info when she needs to not-know, but I managed to see.  It wasn't my fault, though, I wasn't looking for the answer, I just happened to get a message that said "Hannah Armstrong left a message on your timeline", meaning my Facebook wall.  And dear, sweet Hannah, not knowing that I had not seen the episode nor heard anything about it... her message told me exactly what I was avoiding.  So, I know.

We still need to review, though.. so let's get to it. 

CAUSE THIS

IS AMERICAN

IDOL

Its 80s night, and we'll be hearing 80s performances as well as 80s duets.  We see a music montage featuring Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings", seeing their sad faces as Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) says goodbye last week, but their determination (and backhanded insult to the others who have said goodbye) by someone saying "Its down to the best of the best".  If only we could get rid of D'Crappensuck... if only.

This week's mentorship, joining Jimmy Iovine, is from Gwen Stefani and Tony Kanal from No Doubt. 

D'Crappensuck is first up.  He'll be singing some song from El DeBarge, which means he found something that lets him to his falsetto so annoyingly much.  Gwen Stefani says that D'Crappensuck is the "total package".  Yeah, total package... of CRAP!  Ha!

I don't care if it was good or not, I can't bring myself to start to like anything this kid does.  Heck, even with Obama, I'd give him credit for doing something right (I'm just waiting for that moment), but with D'Crappensuck?  Not so much.  The judges love him, of course. 

Eh.

Randy the Dawg says, "El DeBarge is somewhere saying 'oh my gawd!' from that performance..."  No, Randy the Dawg, El DeBarge is somewhere saying 'oh my gawd' because he's locked up. 

Here comes the much loved Elise Testosterone!  She's doing "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen, made famous by Jeff Buckley.  She then tries "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner. 

E-Test sounds good--not great--but good, and does a mature performance with the song.  I think "Hallelujah" would have been a true Idol moment, but when Gwen Stefani tells you "do the Foreigner song", you do the Foreigner song. 

Randy the Dawg calls her out on pitch issues, and Creepy Uncle Steven, who was swaying to the music when the Idol cameras showed him, says it was the wrong song choice.  Really?  And J-Lo gives her the death line... "you look beautiful tonight'.   That sucks. 

Islands in the stream... that is what we are.. no one in between... how
can we be wrong... sail away with me... to another world.. where we
rely on each other... uh-huh.. from one lover to another... uh-huh

DUET TO IT!!  Colton Dixon and Little Skylar Laine bust up on Kenny & Dolly's immortal "Islands in the Stream", a song that, as corny as it is, you just cannot help but like.  I think everyone likes this song... Bill Clinton.  James Hetfield.  Brad Latta.  Courtney Love.  Barry Manilow.  They all love this song.  Who doesn't? 

Since country is her forte, Little Skylar Laine does better in this than Colton Dixon, but its admirable that she doesn't just blow it out and show him up. 

And Seacrusty, that drama starter, makes a comment about the "strong chemistry" up on stage, while Colton gives him the death look of death.

And now, let's hear it for Phillip2, and he'll be singing "That's All" by Genesis, and in rehearsal, he looks not only terrible, but also like he's in pain.  Gwen Stefani says the same, that maybe he wasn't quite getting there... though she does feel like he'll be in the "top tops" eventually.

Me: Did she just say "top tops"?
The Lovely Steph Leann:  That's what she said.

As for Phillip2, it was good.  Again, not great, but good.  I like the original, and I get a kick out of how Phillip2 eats the mic John Mayer style, but this was just decent. 

The judges loved him.

That's all.

DUET TO IT!

So, what's better than one appearance from D'Crappensuck!?  TWO, count 'em, TWO SONGS by D'Crappensuck!  That's right!  Appearing with Hollie Cav, they are set to butcher sing The Pointer Sister's "I'm So Excited".

All I can say is, as a child of the 80s, I cannot hear this song without thinking of Jessie Spano singing this to Zack Morris when he tries to take away her caffeine pills. 

When asked about the performances so far, J-Lo says, "I loved D'Crappensuck!"  When this guy goes, she might just kill herself, live, on-air.  Seriously.  Randy the Dawg then asks the question, "I wanna know, who's got to have IT tonight?!"

The answer?

R&B Crooner Joshua Lidet is singing one of those songs that I don't care for, Simply Red's "If You Don't Know Me By Now"... personally, if I'm talking Simply Red, you should check out "Sunrise".  Great song, great sample of Hall & Oates "I Can't Go For That (no can do)"

By the way, I remember listening to Casey Kasem's American Top 40 back in like, 1987, when Simply Red was in their heyday... apparently, they were called "Red", but as they were going on stage, the guy introduced them as "Red Simply Red" due to a miscommunication.  Frontman, and red haired Mick Hucknall, whispered loudly, "No, its Red!  Just simply Red!" and the MC says, "Okay... Simply Red!".  There ya go. 

I like Joshua Lidet, but he kinda sounds exactly the same from week to week.  Great voice, great style, but nothing new. 

The judges loved it, of course.

Jessica Sanchez is taking on her second pre-crack Whitney song of the season, this time being "How Will I Know". 

The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I'm glad she's not singing 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody', that song is overused."

J-Sanch kicks off the song a little shaky, but then digs in and sounds great.  Like usual.

Okay, so I wanna be the guy who sets up the background images for the performances. No joke, there is an image of a cassette tape in the background with the word "CASSETTE" written on it.

Me: So, they have to spell out that its a cassette?  Are these kids that ignorant?
The Lovely Steph Leann:  What do cassette tapes have to do with "How Will I Know"?

The judges loved it, of course.

RANDOM NOTE... So the two people who wrote the song "Waiting for a Star to Fall", Shannan Rubicam and George Merrill, also known as the duo Boy Meets Girl, wrote "How Will I Know" AND "I Wanna Dance With Somebody".  Now you know.

DUET TO IT!!  Because Idol can't get enough of Stevie Nicks,we've got Elise Testosterone playing Stevie to Phillip2's Tom Petty on "Stop Dragging My Heart Around".  They both have perfect voices for this, and truly, that was a great version of this song.  E-Test really shone, and helped picked up Phillip2's slight slack on the song.  Good times!

No Hollie!  No ma'am!  Don't do this!  Jennife Beals
barely pulls it off...

Here comes Hollie Cav, and she'll be doing Irene Cara's "What a Feeling... Flashdance".  Now, I hope that they don't do a bucket of water poured onto Hollie Cav as she leans over a chair, as you see her silhouette... since Hollie Cav is so young, that would be creepy.

BUT... if she wore leg warmers and the sweatshirt that had the collar cut out and draped off her shoulders, that would be seven shades of AWESOME.

I think Hollie Cavanaugh sang it decently well... but she didn't seem to ever get into it.  The judges agree with me on that.  However, after hearing all three judges pile on, I think she was better than they gave her credit for.  This could be bad for Hollie Cav. 

DUET TO IT!!  Seacrusty asks us if we'd ever wondered what it would sound like if Joshua Lidet and J-Sanch teamed up... on my way back from South Alabama, I spent over an hour wondering that very thing!  Thank you, Seacrusty!!

They are doing the Aretha Franklin/George Michael mega-hit from the late 80s called "I Knew You Were Waiting".  I used to love the foo' out of this song, spending a few months atop my mental Favorite Songs list... it was followed by Chicago's "Will You Still Love Me", strangely enough, which spent a few weeks atop my mental Favorite Songs list.  Don't ask me how I remember that. 

Anyway, good duet by J-Lid and J-Sanch.

The judges loved it, of course.

I think that we should invent a drinking game, where every time Randy the Dawg tells us he worked on a song or worked with (name drop here), you take a shot.  You'd be eligible for Al-Anon by 38 minutes into the show.

Colton Dixon is doing a song that made The Lovely Steph Leann say, "YES!"... the song that makes Tony Kanal and Gwen Stefani say, "every time we sit and write a song, we want to write this song... we wished we had written this song"... the song that I considered one of my favorites of all time, Top 100 definitely, and one of the most beautiful covers I've ever heard by Nichole Nordeman...

Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time". 

I think I like this performance, but being Colton Dixon, I really wanted to like it more.  I think the fact he keeps singing "Time After Tie" bugs me, and I'm not sure I like the sped up arrangement of it all. 

The judges are going nuts, though, and I guess with Colton Dixon, that's okay. 

Finally, in the Pimp Spot, its Little Skylar Laine, and she's doing some cheese with "The Wind Beneath My Wings" from Bette Midler, featured in the movie "Beaches".  Great movie.  I shed one single tear as I watched it, though that might have been my subconscious trying to show Ginny Kochen that I was a sensitive guy as we watched it with Miranda Bryant, Bobby Black and Mandy Stewart in Miranda's & Mandy's 4th floor room in Shackelford Hall back in like, October 1993.  Ginny and I only went out once.  Taught me a lesson, that being, "Even though girls say they want the flowers and romance and such, they really don't want it until well into a dating relationship, lest they think you are coming on too strong and might be a little creepy."  There's a story there, I tell ya.

Anyway, Little Skylar Laine just killed that song.  I mean, made it her biz-nitch, pardon my Frez-nench. Personally, it was the best solo performance of the night, and I think it was not just the voice, but also the country arrangement. 

My list, from first to worst, of performances: 
Colton & Skylar's "Islands in the Stream"...  Little Skylar Laine's "Wind Beneath My Wings"... E-Test & P2's "Stop Dragging My Heart Around"...  Phillip2's "That's All"... Colton Dixon's "Time After Time"... Joshua & J-Sanch's "I Knew You Were Waiting"... Elise Testosterone's "I Wanna Know What Love Is"... J-Sanch's "How Will I Know"... Joshua Lidet's "If You Don't Know Me By Now"... Hollie Cav's "What a Feeling... Flashdance"... That crap from D'Crappensuck, where he sucked Hollie Cav down into his crappiness... That crap from D'Crappensuck by himself...

The Ten Coolest Things of 2010

And finally... after 11 months and 29 days, here are the ten coolest things of 2010...

The 10th Coolest Thing of 2010:  "Toy Story 3"
Its a cartoon, right?  You keep telling yourself that, and remember that when you are wiping your eyes if not for the scene in the trash conveyor belt, then for the ending scene with Andy and Woody and little Bonnie.  "Toy Story 3" is one of the best overall films to come out in a long, long time, and probably one of the best 3rd parts to a trilogy ever.  And Lotso Huggin' Bear makes a great villain.

The 9th Coolest Thing of 2010:  "Hey Soul Sister" by Train
This song was everywhere... in commercials... in movies... on the radio... on television shows... and in my car too, via the iPod (44 plays in 2010).  And talk about a singable song!  Hey ay... hey ay ay ya ay... hey ay hey ya ay... With any luck, thats in your head right now.  My favorite song of the year.



The 8th Coolest Thing of 2010:  The GMAC Bowl
With his kids, and now with mine own child, time spent with my best buddy of 18 years is scarce.  We do try to make it happen with a dinner here and a lunch there and a hang-out time over a televised football game, but with life in general, it doesn't happen often.

So in December of 2009, when Wook Fu called me up and said, "Hey you silly Mexican, my Wookette got me a pair of GMAC Bowl tickets in January, with Troy playing Central Michigan (the Chippewas), so you up for it?  I want to take you, holmes."  Of course, I was like, "Si!  Si!"

I love me some college football, especially live and in person, and it was my 2nd bowl game.  My first was the PapaJohns.com Bowl some years back, but the GMAC was my first for overtime, and my first ever double overtime game.  Unfortunately, the Chips won 44-41 on a field goal at the far end of the field, which Wookiee and I couldn't see, but still.

Anyway, it was a great night, Wook Fu set us up at the glorious suites of the La Quinta Inn, and after the game, we drowned our sorrows in a big plate of Denny's.  And the next day, we spent most of the morning touring the USS Alabama battleship and just enjoying ourselves.  I took a ton of pics, but unfortunately, I can't find a single one of them.  I know, I know, bad friend.

Love my Best Mate Wookiee.

The 7th Coolest Thing of 2010:  Disney in December

Who doesn't love Walt Disney World at Christmastime?  We were honored to even be invited to stay with the Zarzaur family at the DVC rooms in Animal Kingdom Lodge, which were glorious.  We got to see the Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party, we introduced the Z Family to Via Napoli, which is now one of their family favorites, see lots of characters, ride lots of rides and essentially, have an incredible time.

The 6th Coolest Thing of 2010:  "Inception"
Holy smokes, what a movie. I think there are two camps when it comes to "Inception"--those that love love love it (me) and those who hate hate hate it (not me)... there are very few people in the middle.

I don't even know how to explain this movie in a way that, if you haven't seen it, you will understand what an incredible ride the film takes you on.  Its all about dreams and stealing dreams and implanting ideas in your subconscious and there are incredible visuals and amazing effects and so on and so on... and for the first time perhaps ever for me, I saw Leo DiCaprio not as Jack Dawson on the Titanic, but as Dom, the leader of the literal Dream Team.  The excellent ensemble includes Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, Ellen Page as Ariadne (who names their kid Ariadne?  Olive would be better than that!) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Arthur, one of the coolest supporting characters in recent memory.  And the fight in the spinning hallway is one of my favorite scenes in any movie in all of 2010.

Someone commented on this YouTube clip that "don't ask me what's going on, I was too confused..."

Once it passes the minimum 2 year time period from release, which will be some time this summer, "Inception"  will find itself clearly planted in The Dave100, somewhere very, very high, like Top 30.  And that's big.

The 5th Coolest Thing of 2010:  My Big Screen
Not much I can say about this beyond... my big screen tv rules.  Though sometimes the remote signal doesn't reach as far as I'd like it to.  First world problem.

The 4th Coolest Thing of 2010:  The Z Family

The Z's... Chris and Melanie in the back, Special K, The Zach Attack
and Jay-Z in the front

I speak of course of the Zarzaur Family.  The dad, Chris, who owns Chris Z's, drives a Daddy Caddy and grills like a motha.  Good guy, very loyal, very generous and has an uncommon (these days, anyway) high value of family.  The mom, Melanie, who I've mentioned alot here, and I'll get to in a minute.  There's Jay-Z, the oldest, probably the most like me (which is good.  and bad.  and good.  and bad.  let's move on) in his jokes, his mannerisms and what he spends his time enjoying.  He's like the "independent, do his own thing" kid.  When we all get to Disney World, he's just as happy touring the park from ride to ride on his own, could care less if anyone is with him.

Then there's Special K, the only girl, the middle child.  You can tell that when she grows up, she'll be very pretty, but right now, she's in that "not an grown up, but not really a kid stage".  She's very good at volleyball, and she's got this dry sense of humor that will sneak up on you.  Finally, there's The Zach Attack.  Whereas Jay-Z is a free bird and Special K is definitely a daddy's girl, The Zach Attack is by far and away his mama's child.  He's funny, he's random, he's pretty good at karate and he is a genius at Words with Friends.

Put them all together, and you have five close knit wonderful individuals that have been nothing short of amazingly giving and generous to my own family.  Whether being excellent company at Pablos or great traveling partners at our several Disney trips together.  You may have noticed that this family pops up alot over the 100 Coolest, and with good reason... the Z clan has become embedded in our lives, and now is beginning to be as such with Campbell Isaiah.  The Lovely Steph Leann and Chris are like kindred spirits, easy going, laid back, and at Disney, partners in slow walking crime, while Melanie and I... well, that's...

The 3rd Coolest Thing of 2010:  Melanie

...she's my friend.  If My Best Mate Wookiee is my best dude, then Melanie is my best chick.  I've talked about Melanie off and on randomly and for various reasons, but mostly because we, as people, tend to discuss what's important to us in our lives at that moment.  (Yes, yes, I know, I don't talk about my faith enough, and thats important, but that's an entirely different issue.)

Back to the point... here's what I wrote in a randomness blog in July:

At a Christmas gathering (I think...)

...I see Melanie an awful lot, most of that at work, but many times at family outings and such.  (seriously, we aren't stupid--its not like me and Melanie slumber parties at our respective homes or anything... its called boundaries, so stop your worrying) 

That being said, let me brag on Melanie for a second...  Well, she's awesome.  She's gorgeous and she's funny and she's a great mom and she's cool and she's hot and she's all those things... plus, she's one of my very best friends.  So yes, I do bring her up frequently on the blog site here, mostly because she's involved in half of my stories I have to tell.  


We do have our moments, mostly when in the midst of battle behind the counter in a busy coffee war, but overall, she is one of the most loyal and dependable people I know.  I know for a fact that I can count on her for anything.  Ask The Lovely Steph Leann--takes a lot to put up with me daily (heck, ask Wookiee, he'll tell you--he lived with me for the equivalent of about six years), but she does it in fine fashion.  What can I say?  I love me some Melanie.

Oh, and it doesn't hurt that she's hot.

The 2nd Coolest Thing of 2010:  My iPhone
Thaaaat's right... I freakin' love my phone.  No joke.  I love being able to check my email, or Facebook, or a score, or look up something on Wikipedia anytime I darn well please.  Its addicting, and its probably not good for me, but I love it.

Here's what I wrote in August of 2010 in a post entitled "Pawn Stars, iPhones, Roller Derbies and Cryptosporidium (and other random things)":

Finally got me an iPhone.  Not that I needed one... truly, who actually needs an iPhone?  I mean, if you think about it, do we really need portable phones?  I got by for 28 years without one, and sure, its nice to be able to call someone and say, "Hey, I'm on the way" or send a text really quickly to say, "Remind me again what time the movie is" or "Can you pick up some milk?" but really, do we need one?

The answer?  We do now.  Its become an integral part of life.  We'd survive without it, but why do we have to?  That's like saying, "Well, yeah, we'd get by if every Baha Burger or Chipotle closed its doors forever" but why would we want to do that?


Racing home, I found it sitting on the end table, as The Lovely Steph Leann was home for lunch while the FedEx guy stopped by.  I tore it open like a kid tearing into a Christmas gift, pulled out the box, opened it with my teeth and picked up my black 3GS iPhone... and plugged it in.

Went to church, as we came back, turned it on, no service.  Figured we'd go by the AT&T store, get it solved.  Well, the store closed at 7pm.  And its 754pm.  Called AT&T, and was told that I had to go back to the store upon which I purchased the phone.  So, at 9am, I have to go.  Until then, no service.  No phone.



I did end up getting service, the very next day... and never looked back.  Rock on.

And finally...

The Coolest Thing of 2010 is.... RED ROBIN

From November 21st, 2010, in "Just Don't Tell Dave Ramsey"...

I ask to test drive the KIA Soul.  He goes and gets the keys, and we pull out of the lot, a car with 31 miles on it.  Its... its just cool.  Its just fun.  Its bright red, a color that I usually associate with 21 year old guys in Mustangs or convertibles to pick up chicks, and higher insurance rates, so I ask about other colors, and am assured that if I want this car, they'll get me whatever color I want.  Of course they will, its a car dealership.

I've already done some research on the KIA Soul, and have liked what I'd seen... its quite safe, it holds appreciation well, its sporty, its not too expensive, its roomier than most cars of its kind and so on.  And in driving it... its fun.  I like this car.  And this is not good, because this thing is brand new!   This thing is costly!  There's no way we're going to be driving away with a KIA Soul.  The Lovely Steph Leann won't allow such a mockery of Dave Ramsey Justice!  Right?  Right?

I noticed something as we walked around a little afterwards... the KIA Rio is about $1200 more than the KIA Soul.  So... if we wanted to get the Rio, which The Lovely Steph Leann liked, then... wouldn't the Soul make more sense?  Its bigger... and cheaper?

Smashcut to a half hour later... we are sitting in Gene's little cubicle and he's in front of us, hands clasped, elbows on table, telling us that he wants us to drive off the lot in a new car.  Of course he does.  This is a car dealership.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I listen to his pitch, and both simply tell him, "No".  It was too much.  Too much down, too much in car payments, car payments that we were trying to avoid all together.  He had written down the details on a piece of paper, and they only would pay $500 for Toni Rocki Honda, which was a travesty in my own mind.  Sure, she needs a $1000 repair in air conditioning, but I am pretty sure I could get a grand for her on Craigslist or even the paper, but $500?

And I watch the car salesmen tricks unfold... "Okay, what if I do this?  What if [crossing out the number 500 and writing in pen] we give you a $1000 [writing the number 1-0-0-0] for your Honda?"  We say "No".  "Okay, well what if I say you don't have to put this much down [crosses out the amount down] and you only put this much down [writes down another number] and we say "No".

He says, "Okay, let me go run some more numbers", and runs off to do a credit check, leaving The Lovely Steph Leann and I alone.  We start chatting quietly about what we are going to do, and suddenly, getting a new car, the bright red KIA Soul, is a distinct possibility.  A real possibility.

The Lovely Steph Leann is the budgeter in our family, the "Nerd", is Ramsey speak.  I am the "Free Spirit", the one who spends a little more than he should, so I'm leaning on her, my wife, heavily to help me through this (isn't that the way it should be, really?).  She says one single "No way, we can't do this", then I'm not going to fight her for it.  I tell her straight up that there is a certain threshold of savings I want to keep in there, and no matter what, we don't go below that.  She tells me what the reality is of our budget.  

Gene comes back with another set of details and agreements.  I smile and simply say, "Okay, man, listen... this is a great deal.  We have talked about it, and we agree this is a great deal, but we just don't think we can do it.  We weren't looking for car payments, we don't want to kill our savings and really, if we have to say yes or no at this very moment, we'd have to say 'no'."  Gene tells us, "I understand.  But let me just tell ya, we haven't sold a car today.  I'm going to do what it takes to get you into this car."  He gets up and runs out.

Gene comes back in, with the same piece of paper, folded over, with words written in Sharpie at the top, saying "XMAS COMES EARLY HO HO HO", with some details on the bottom. And the details are... (read how it unfolds by clicking here)


So there ya go.  The 100 Coolest Things of 2010, about a year late.  What say we do The 100 Coolest Things of 2011 list a little quicker this time, eh?  

Oh yeah... honorable mention...

Brad Latta

The GOP? The Libs? Whats the Difference?

And now, getting funny with the ha-ha, something that will surely make Brad Latta roll his eyes so far they might do a 360 degree spin... The Differences in Republicans and Democrats...

Q: What's a conservative?
A: A liberal who made it through adolescence

Q: How many Republicans does it take to raise your taxes?
A: None. The Democrats do that.

Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Q: What is the difference between an intelligent liberal and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: What is a conservative?
A: A liberal who's been mugged.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute give value for the money she takes.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a Democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Q: Why did God create Democrats?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.

Q: What is a recent Democrat graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries, sir?

Q. How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!

The Summer of Blogging Day Fifty Two

The Potential Awesomeness of Death By Misadventure

Aaaaaand.... we're back.
Been a somewhat relaxing weekend, taking a break from most things computer and interwebby, and though I probably could have blogged about four times, I thought I'd leave it til today... watched a ton of movies this weekend, both at the theater, on television, on DVR and on DVD/Blu-Ray, so I'll do my best to shoot through that soon enough.

What else have we got to talk about?  Well, for starters, there's the remaining 40 Coolest Things of 2010, and now that it's almost August, meaning the year is about 60% over, I'm running a bit late on that.  I blame Idol.  Typically, the goal is to have all 100 listed in January, but with American Idol coverage, that's 2 to 3 posts per week, and its just exhausting.  And if I miss one single Idol update, I automatically hear from Brad Latta, the Clouds in My Coffee Ombudsman, with great vengeance and furious anger. 

And there is not only one Disney trip to deal with, from February, there is a Disneyland trip!  And a billion people... okay, maybe not a billion, maybe more like six.  Or eight... have asked me "which do you like better, World or Land?" and its a question that definitely deserves an answer.

Of course, Amy Winehouse died.  Is it sad that... well, I don't really care that much.  I guess I should--perhaps apathy is more dangerous than a hatred, but I'm just being honest.  Wasn't a fan of her music, really, and its to no one's surprise that Amy was found dead.  At 27.  Though, and please excuse me if I cross the "too soon" line, but I'm not sure she deserves to be added to the infamous 27 Club, along side Hendrix, Joplin, Cobain, Morrison and Rolling Stones co-founder Brian Jones.   We still remember those names decades later... in fifteen years, I doubt anyone will remember Winehouse with the same kind of reverence... perhaps she'll be listed alongside those other other names that died at 27, like Fat Pat the rapper and Kristen Pfaff from Hole. 

Not to diminish Amy Winehouse's death... its a tragic thing.  And I'm... well, I could say fearful, but that's not the right word... maybe more of "concerned" or "curious" that someone like Lindsay Lohan is headed down the same path. 

By the way, Brian Jones died in 1969 of drowning in a swimming pool.  His coroner's report literally stated, "cause of death by misadventure".  I have no idea if drugs were involved for sure, though the report went on to say that his liver and heart were enlarged by drug and alcohol abuse.  But take the drugs and booze part out, how great would it be to live a full life, then die at 82 with your coroner's report saying, "Death by misadventure"?   Awesome. 

Three potentially awesome ways to die by misadventure... (1) Not securing your lap bar on a coaster, one that flies off the track when coming down the steepest hill... (2) Texting and driving around Talladega Motor Speedway at 188 miles per hour... (3) Simply participating in The Running of the Bulls.

Didn't say any of them were smart.  Just misadventurous.

And as the fall goes on, I guess there will be more and more mentions of Campbell's or Lorelei's impending arrival.  The Lovely Steph Leann is just over 20 weeks, and that constant state of nausea has gone away just to be replaced with a constant state of heartburn.  I feel bad for her, as I sit and watch "A Fistful of Dollars" on The Movie Channel (like I'm doing now). 

Randomly, we sometimes look at each other and I'll say, "Holy crap.  There's going to be a person who calls you mommy and me daddy.  Dear God, how frightening is that?" and she hangs her head in acknowledgement and shame.  I mean, I can barely be responsible for my own self, much less some runt that is depending on me for food and shelter and clothes.  But man, the tax breaks!   When I suggested holding that kid in until January 1st, so I'd be able to get through the holidays without missing work, she said, "No way!  We need it for the tax write off for 2011!"  That's her, always thinking.

Speaking of "A Fistful of Dollars", its been on my DVR for something like, six months.  Its part of the "Dollars Trilogy" from the 60s, which also contains "For A Few Dollars More" and "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly", all starring Clint Eastwood, and all considered the most popular of the "Spaghetti Westerns"--essentially, westerns made by Italians back in the day, known for their music and style and such... check out the Wiki page on it if you want more.

Anyway, the movie isn't bad.  Don't misunderstand me--its not for everyone... if you don't like westerns, and certainly if you don't like Clint, you won't like this at all. 

That being said, Clint Eastwood is as cool as a cucumber, with his poncho and his low hat and his cheap rolled cigar in his mouth, as he plays "The Stranger", or "The Man With No Name"--he is actually called "Joe" late in the film, in a pay-attention-or-you-will-miss-it moment.  The Stranger rides into San Miguel, this little Mexican border town, and ends up in the middle of a gang war over ownership of the town.  Because he's apparently a capitalist, he actually ends up playing both sides against each other, taking money from each for various reasons and tasks.  Of course, the good guy in The Stranger ends up taking over for the greedy guy in The Stranger, and a pretty intense duel happens between he and the bad guys. 

What sets this movie apart from most of those 60s westerns is the music, which is full of flutes and violins and catchy riffs, the style, which is everything from the color to the scenery to the script, and the story itself... the bad guys are only bad because they don't like each other, while the good guy isn't all that great... 

This isn't a film I'll watch over and over, or maybe not even again, and I don't know that I would consider this in my Top 500 films of all time--and yes, that list does exist--but I'm glad I watched it.  Its enough to make me check out the next two in the trilogy.

Boy, that post went everywhere, didn't it?

The Summer of Blogging Day Forty Four

The Ballad of HomeSlice (the story of Steph's stalker)

The following events happend last weekend, as they are written, with very few embellishments.  Some stuff you can't make up.

FRIDAY NIGHT

So, The Lovely Steph Leann and I are having dinner downtown, right?  We were sitting with MZ and her family having some food at Chris Z's... its this restaurant down by St. Vincent's, and was recently voted to have the best burgers in the city by Birmingham Metro Magazine.  And the Chris in Chris Z is the hubby of the Melanie in the MZ.  And the burgers are outstanding.

First Friday of every month is Middle Eastern night, where you can get fish and kibbie and hummus and all kinds of other stuff that I usually don't eat much of.   

Anyway, we are sitting at the table, about to enjoy our food, when The Lovely Steph Leann's phone rings.  She answers, has a confused look on her face, then hangs up.  Apparently, whoever they wanted wasn't The Lovely Steph Leann, and she couldn't hear them.  Rings again, she tries to listen, and I hear her say, "I think you have the wrong number," and she hangs up.

The phone rang again, so she gets up and takes it outside.  A minute or two later, she comes back to the table with a weird look on her face.  I ask her who it was, and she just shakes her head like she doesn't know.  She tells me it was a little weird.  The phone rings again, and she picks it up and shows it to me.  The screen says, "PRIVATE NUMBER."

The Lovely Steph Leann hands me the phone and asks me to please talk to whoever it is.  I take it and flip it open and say, "Hello?"  There is a gruff voice on the other end, probably ethnic (for all you libs, that's my politically incorrect way of saying though I cannot be sure, I'm strongly believing the guy was black based on his speech patterns, tones and voice influction) who says, "Yeah, I wanna speak to Stephanie."

I reply, "Well, she's not available right now.  Can I ask who this is?"
Suddenly, the voice on the other end begins to yell at me, using foul language and such, calling me a few names, and tell me I'm not her G-D answering machine.  I ask again who this might be, and again, I get called a few choice names and such.  I hang up.

MZ is looking at me funny, The Lovely Steph Leann is shrugging to me "I dunno..." and I just put the phone down.  The phone rings again, so I grab it and walk outside.  I answer with a "Hello?" and again, HomeSlice on the other end asks me for Stephanie, not calling her Lovely nor using "Leann".  Or "The" for that matter.  I ask "Stephanie who?", hoping against hope that perhaps he's looking for a Stephanie Jackson or a Stephanie Wayans or a Stephanie Winan... but no, he asks for her by full name.  I'm a little concerned by this turn of events in the conversation.

I hang up and immediately call AT&T, our service provider.  I get someone on the phone soon, and ask about how to block a call, or how to unmask a private number.  I am told that if the number itself is private, they cannot block it.  And they are not able to unmask it, and I'd have to go to a third party to do so.  I ask if they can recommend a third party that would be reputable, and she suggests "TrapCall".

In the meantime, HomeSlice has called The Lovely Steph Leann's phone two more times.  I go back inside and sit down, asking The Lovely Steph Leann to send it to voicemail if HomeSlice called again.  He does and she sends it on to voicemail.  And that's it for the night.

SATURDAY

The next day, I've got my first Saturday at home since like, late April or early May, and The Lovely Steph Leann and I head to a double feature... being avid movie goers, we were interested in "The Social Network" and "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps", so we got tickets for both, and had a good ol' time being together for the day.  It was the first full Saturday I had off, and was able to spend at home (and by "Home", I mean just around here, not out of town somewhere) and frankly, I really enjoyed it.

We arrived home late afternoon, and I plopped in my customary recliner, turned on the 47" Big Screen Television, and then turned on what I knew would be the debacle of a football game, aka, Florida at Alabama.  The Lovely Steph Leann was unloading her purse, and she glanced at her phone.  She looked up at me, held up her phone, frowned and said, "Another one."

"What?" I asked, incredulously.  "HomeSlice called you again?"
"Yep."
"Did he just call?"
"Well..." she said slowly, "...they... they actually called twice in the movies and again a few minutes ago."
"Were you not going to tell me this?"
"I..." she stammered, "I... was going to tell you..."
"Alright, we are getting online, and we are going to block this call, and we are going to find out who this cat is."

I logged onto the website recommended by the spokeschick from AT&T, and looked around.  TrapCall is a site that will allow you, for $4.95, to hook up with a system to "unmask"--that is, find out who private numbers are--and then you can turn around and block that number from calling you.  According to the website, they call once, you send them to voice mail.  They call twice, their number shows up on your phone as "unmasked". 

Log on, block their number and if and when they call back, they get a message that your number has been disconnected.  I entered the information, did what I needed to do, sat back and though I didn't want HomeSlice to call again, I kinda wanted HomeSlice to call again, so I could learn the identity of a one Mr. Slice.

Not that I would know what to do if I did learn any numbers or names, but at least I'd know if my $4.95 investment paid off.

SUNDAY

Sleepy
Sleepy
Sleepysleepysleepysleepy (noise) sleepysleepysleepy (what's that noise?) sleepy sleep sleep drowsy drowsy (why is that noise noisy?) drowsy drowsy waking waking waking wake awake

"Wha..." I mumbled, eyes half open, arm hanging off the side of the bed.
"hmphpaahhaaaa..." came the voice of The Sleepy Steph Leann a foot or so away from me. 

The clock said 5:29am, and since my clock is ten minutes fast (yes, I'm one of those people), its five twenty o'clock in the blessed blue morning.  I sense movement, sluggish and slow, but movement nonethless.  The Groggy Steph Leann reaches for her phone, which is going off. 

I am only slightly aware of it when the phone rings again, but become more alert as The Drowsy Steph Leann says, "Its our friend..."  I lay there wondering who in the world would call at 5am.  Is this a running joke?  Is it some get-high weekend where you have to prank call pasty white chicks a dozen times with tales of lurid fantasies and delusions of grandeur?  Would this guy even know what "granduer" meant?  Probably not.

Either way, I was slightly worried.  A little while went by before I could fall asleep again, and it felt all too soon when the alarm went off at 730.  The Lovely Steph Leann was already up and moving around--I had KidStuff at 830, and she was coming along.  She went to the bathroom to get into the shower, and I reached over for the iPhone.

I pulled up TrapCall on the mobile interweb and saw one name and number...

ANDREA WEATHERS (205) 567-0471

I pulled up the Blocked Number tag and set it up.

SUNDAY NIGHT

One of our baristas and his boo are having a baby.

So, Sunday night The Lovely Steph Leann and I are sitting in the home of MZ and her family, having some good laughs, eating some good food and just having those party, baby shower type conversations that you have at parties and baby showers. 

The Lovely Steph Leann's phone rings.  She reaches down amongst all the loud chatter, looks at it, frowns and hands it to me.  "PRIVATE NUMBER."  I just snatch it out of her hand, walk out of the room and answer it.

"Hello?"
"Yeah, I need to talk to Stephanay..."
"She is unavailable.  Can I ask who is calling?"
"Naw, I need me some Stephanay..."

When I ask again who it is, he says his name is "Dang-a-lang".  He asks who I am.  I let him know that he's talking to "Stephanay's" husband, to which he says, "Aw, you the one she be callin' when she done with me..."

Then he proceeds to fill in the next minute or so with a Cinemax'esque type description of how he and my own wife spend their time together.  I say Cinemax, but at least Cinemax has the decency to pipe in Herman Beeftink music while the goings-on are going on. 

Rather than the belligerent tone that HomeSlice had carried in earlier conversations, he was actually rather pleasant... well, his voice was, discounting the vulgarity of every word.  Out of nowhere, there was a female voice in the background.

"Hey, HomeSlice... is that Andrea in the background?  Andrea Weathers?"  I asked politely.
"Uh..." for the first time, he stammered a bit, seemingly a bit off guard. "Is that... Andrea?  Uh... naw, that ain't no Andrea..."
"And is this (205) 567-0741 you are calling from?"
"Um, naw, this is... this is a pre-payin' phone..." HomeSlice said. 
"Tell you what, HomeSlice, since you obviously think that Stephanie and yourself have some sort of relationship, then she probably has your phone number.  Which means, if she likes you, and wants to, she'll call you, okay?"
"Uh..."
"Give Andrea my best.  Have a great evening, HomeSlice."

I hung up, a little worried and nervous.  I mean, seriously, this guy knows The Lovely Steph Leann's full name, and hopefully that's all--but what else might he know?  I hopped on the iPhone and texted my buddy Moderate Brad, the Official Clouds in My Coffee Ombudsman.  We chatted for a few minutes about legalities, what is considered harassement, and what can be done.

And if it happens again, we'll deal with it.

Five days later, it hasn't happened.  And I figured I would write about it, as the more time passes, it becomes more humorous than anything. 

So, HomeSlice, if you are out there, please don't call again.  And Andrea Weathers, phone number 205-567-0474, please tell your brother/father/son/cousin/baby daddy/etc to not call.  Thanks.

...And Lee is None DeWyzer (Idol IX Finale 2)

So here's last night's recap show...

And here we are.  Seven hours of fluff to give us 12 seconds of news.  Rock on.

THIS IS THE AMERICAN

IDOL

FINALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Sez Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone):  American Idol 10 (its Season 9-d$) is the biggest snoozer since Jordan Sparks won it. There is zero anticipation for me.

8p... Yes, this show started at 7pm tonight, and yes, its 8pm, and we just started.  The Lovely Steph Leann and I decided on dinner first, and we headed to The Purple Onion over here on 280.  The owner of our favorite location on Hwy 31 is apparently owning this one too, because he was sitting there in the cafe.  And it was awesome.  I love me some Purp'O, and I'm happy a great location has opened up less than 3 miles from The Cabana, instead of the 10+ mile trek we have to usually make.

The judges are introduced, and The Lovely Steph Leann's first question:  "What in the bejeebers is Randy Jackson wearing??"

8:04p... The finalists come down the steps, and we both notice that Lee and Crystal are all wearing Preparatory Outfits.  We are confused, until the Top 12 are introduced and I realize they are doing "School's Out" by Alice Cooper.  Glee this ain't.

About to fast forward through the group song when I notice none other than Alice Cooper himself, Christ Follower (no, seriously) and staunch Republican, come out.

Fast Forward through Commercials

8:08p... About to fast forward through Kris Allen and The Lovely Steph Leann tells me to put down the remote as he is about to sing his new single, "The Truth".  As Seacrest sends it to Kris, and Kris begins, we still hear Seacrest and some backstage chick talking.  Really, Fox?  Your the biggest show in the country for what, 7 years running?  Get this right.

8:11p... A montage of Simon Cowell clips, as this is his final Idol.  Many of these audition clips I actually remember.  A great appearance of Paula the Flake... I miss Paula. 

8:13p... Siobhan Magnus and Aaron Kelly.  Doing us the Bee Gees. 

8:13p... The Lovely Steph Leann tells me I can fast forward, but I'm intrigued by the fact that Siobhan and Aaron are singing "How Deep Is Your Love"... and then , the curtain rises, and out comes Barry Gibb, and another guy I can only assume is another Gee.   The last time Barry Gibb was on this show was really, really bad... a few seasons back, they did Bee Gees week, and Barry performed "To Love Somebody", and it was so bad, so terribly bad, that years later, I still randomly break out with a "there's a.light.  some kinda light." in mockery--and it still sounds better than that night.

8:16p... Barry Gibb sounds marginally better

8:16p... The camera pans to David Hasselhoff in the audience.  The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "There's The Hoff!  He's in every one of these finales!  The camera just finds him!"

Fast Forward through Commercials

8:18p... Big Mike comes out, singing a song that I cannot place... I don't know the lyrics, but I know the music... what is it... what is it....

8:19p... "Takin' It to the Streets"!  And here comes Michael McDonald!  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I still have a hard time realizing this guy is white..."

8:20p... Michael McDonald is awesome.  "Sweet Freedom" from the '86 Billy Crystal/Gregory Hines piece of crap "Running Scared" was awesome.  "Keep Forgettin'" was awesome.  His lead on "What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers.  Awesome. 

8:22p... I have a hard time disliking Dane Cook.  I only say that because he's now onstage singing a comedic song dedicated to Simon.  Most people I know aren't Dane Cook fans, and certainly, if you've ever seen "Good Luck Chuck", you'll know why.  However, his movie "Employee of the Month", as terrible as it is, I'll watch it everytime its on, and laugh all the same.  Anyway, this Dane Cook bit tonight?  Pretty crappy.

Fast forward through commercials

8:25p... Lacey Brown singing Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful".  In the first five notes, we are reminded why she was kicked out in Week 12.  We fast forward through, til we see Xtina herself appear, leading the group in "Stronger"

8:26p... Christina Aguilera sings a new song.  We fast forward.

8:27p... Ricky Gervais appears via satellite to say goodbye to Simon the Cowell. 

Fast Forward through Commercials

8:29p... Lee DeWyze is on stage to sing Hall & Oates "I Can't Go For That (no can do)", which sounds really, really good.  It sounded great til Andrew Garcia joined him.  Casey James then leads us to "Maneater".  Now I'm wondering if Hall & Oates will make an appearance.  That would rule.

8:30p... Aaron Kelly singing this song is funny, because you know he has no concept of what this song even is, and who the artists are.  And he wouldn't even get the joke 'Ah, its Jeffrey Dahmer's theme song'. 

8:31p... HALL AND OATES!!!!!  I just told The Lovely Steph Leann that if they came anywhere near here, I'd totally go see them.  And they start singing "You Make My Dreams Come True".  About three lines in, The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up and says, "Dude.  Darryl Hall.  You are obviously too old for this."

8:32p... Law #8,878 I'm forcing through when I become president in 2028... John Oates is required to sport his 80s 'stache at all times.  At all times.  Shaving it is a punishable fine of $100,000 and/or up to ten years in maximum security prison.  Just sayin'.

8:34p... Crystal Bowersox comes out and sings "Ironic".   And then, as now expected, Alanis Morrisette herself comes out, starting out with "You Oughta Know".  How can I fast forward through this darn show when I actually want to watch the performances!?   Crystal changes a key line in the song, "Would she go down with you to the theater".  You know your old when you see that line, and immediately know what the original line is.  Hey, "Jagged Little Pill" was a college icon album for me, one of those "what CDs would you take with you to a deserted island" kind of albums.  Even The Lovely Steph Leann likes this CD, which is saying something, because a rocker chick she ain't.

8:36p... Alanis/Crystal duet.  AWESOME.  The Lovely Steph Leann is even singing along to "You Oughta Know".

Fast Forward through Commercials

8:42p... The Lovely Steph Leann and I have this quick, spirited discussion about whether "Jagged Little Pill" was a rock album or not.  I say yes, she says it was more alternative, to which I say, "Yes, alt rock."  I'm right.  Again

8:42p... Carrie Underwood comes out.  She's singing "Undo", a song I'm not a huge fan of.  I like Carrie, though, because she really shows how appreciative of Idol--she comes back all the time, and shows her gratitude frequently.  Unlike Kelly Clarkson, who seems like she wants to forget Idol is the reason she has a career.

8:44p... Typing that last paragraph, almost missed fast forwarding through the Ford Commercial.  Made it, though!

8:45p... Casey James introduced singing "Every Rose Has its Thorn", which makes me throw my hands up, saying "Bret Michaels is coming out!  Yeah!!"  How can you not like this guy, and this song?  Seriously.

8:47p... Okay, so Bret Michaels is having the best year ever.  I mean, "Rock of Love", "Rock of Love 2", "Skank of Love", "Rock of Love Bus", "Venereal Disease of Love 5" and all those shows, while it make him a punchline of sorts, made him relevant again.  And then, with the Celebrity Apprentice having such a great season this year (and it was awesome) and him doing so well, plus his medical issues--don't get me wrong, I don't wish ill on him at all, but everyone has felt for him, and learned to love him... he can do just about anything right now.

8:50p... Lee DeWyze is out now, joining the band Chicago for a medley of hits.  If I were to even think about fast forwarding, The Lovely Steph Leann would be on the phone with Brad J. Latta, Atty at Law, discussing divorce.  She loves loves loves her some Chicago.  Even the old crap. 

8:52p... Reality hits bigtime, as they start "If You Leave Me Now", and I say, "They sound unfortunate".  The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Yeah, they sound a little like Hall & Oates.  Maybe Lee should sing the whole time..."

8:54p... Another Simon montage.  Then Seacrest says the magic words... "Pants On The Ground".  The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Ohmigosh... they are actually doing this song on the stage?  Oh dear..."  They bring out the barely alive Bee Gees, then redeem themselves with Alanis, then a little off-key Hall & Oates, which I still love, and then they go all awesome with Michael McDonald and Bret Michaels.  And now?  The Pants guy... and William Hung.  No joke.

Fast Forward through Commercials

8:59p... Remember, we started this at 8pm, and we've got 30 minutes left to get through.  Another Simon montage... and here's Paula the Flake herself, looking absolutely gorgeous for the first time since, I dunno, 1994 and the "Rush Rush" video...

9:02... And now that she's talking, and I remember why I call her "Paula the Flake".  I'd like to think she's stumbling and bumbling because she's not reading from a prompter, but I can almost guarentee that she IS reading from a prompter... and she still sounds like this. 

9:05p... So, I guess the producers said, "Hey, Lee and Crystal can sing... but they have no personality... lucky for us we can concentrate on Simon's leaving and make the finale about that!   Hey, someone call Shady Oakes Retirement Village in Irvine and see if Barry Gibbs and John Oates and that singer from Chicago are available next week!"

9:07p... Here comes Kelly Clarkson!  And then Ruuuuuuben!  And Fantasia!  And then Carrie!  And then Taylor!  And now Jordin!  And now Kris!   Where's David Cook?? 

9:08p... They are doing a song that's something about "look what we've become..." or something.  I'm happy to see Kelly Clarkson here, though she looks like "I really don't want to do this..."  Anyway, the Idol winners are dressed in black, and out walks, in white, a ton of former Idol standouts, like Blake Lewis, David Archuleta, Ace Young, Mikaylah Gordon (okay, I said standout, but I guess anyone can come), Jason Castro, and.... PICKLES!!!  I love Pickles.

9:11p.... "Hey, fellow producer, let's remind America that this show CAN be great!  Let's get a whole bunch of former Idols up there to remind America what we've done!" 

9:12p... Simon gets up, says a few words, and gets misty eyed

Fast forward through commercials

9:13p... The Top 12 start out with "Again" by Janet Jackson, a lovely little ditty that I have on cassette singles.  And of course, here comes Janet... I do love this song.  My favorite Janet songs, starting with 5, is "Escapade"... 4) "Again"... 3) "The Best Things in Life Are Free", a duet with the late, great Luther Vandross from The Dave100 movie "Mo' Money"... 2) "Miss You Much"... and my favorite Janet song is "Love Will Never Do (without you)".  I love that tune.

9:15p... As Janet Jackson sings solo, we have this exchange:
Me: Ya know, she sounds a lot like Michael did towards his end there
The Lovely Steph Leann:  That's exactly what I was thinking!!!  I almost wonder if maybe she was doing his singing...

9:17p... I fast forward for just about 4 seconds before I stop it, realizing she's going to another song... and when I realize its "Nasty", I just set the remote down.  That's right.  Don't call me baby.  Its Janet, Jackson, if you're nasty.

9:20p... Seacrest:  Tonight... its about Lee and Crystal
Me:  No, no its not.  Its about Simon
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Lee who?  Who's Crystal?

9:22p... Lee and Crystal come out together to sing "A Little Help from My Friends", as made famous by The Beatles, but popularized by Joe Cocker on my #2 favorite tv show of all time, "The Wonder Years", recently supplanted from the top spot by "LOST".  And on cue, Joe Cocker comes out to sing a little.  And I think he just missed a line.  But man, he can still wail, even at the ripe old age of 104.

9:25p... After a brief debate on The Beatles version vs Joe Cocker's version, I go to the source.  Wikipedia.  Lennon and McCartney did it in 1967, but Cocker did a radically different version in '68, one that he performed at Woodstock, and it went on to be the version used by "The Wonder Years". 

Fast forward through commercials

Its 9:25p.  There is about 6 minutes left recorded on the show.  We are now concerned that we will miss the winner, unless Seacrest gets to it.

Its 9:27p... Dim the lights!  After the nationwide vote... the winner and new American Idol is...

...is...

...is...

...Lee DeWyze.

Okay, so there's that.

Lee is emotional, and its kinda sweet to see him almost speechless.  They pan to the judges and Simon looks bored, like he knows the wrong person won (and really... after last night, Crystal should have won this)  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "He should be bored and ready to leave.  Lee shouldn't have won... that should have been Crystal."

The Lovely Steph Leann is not upset at Lee's win because she doesn't think he's good enough, she's upset at Lee's win because "We needed a female to win.  Suck it." 

And what a fitting phrase to end a disappointing season of Idol.  Suck it.  Well said, The Lovely Steph Leann, well said.

The 100 Coolest Things of 2009... 40 thru 31

Welcome back!  We are slowly but surely making our way through the Coolest 100 Things of 2009... let's continue with #s 40 to 31...

The 40th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Sweet Thing" by Keith Urban
"When I picked you up for our first date baby, well your pretty blue eyes they were driving me crazy, and that tiny little thought they were so amazing they were looking at me.."



The above video is taken from a AOL Live Session... who even uses AOL anymore?  Anyway, its a great song... got a fever pitch, fast paced, and its the first single from Keith Urban's 5th album, "Defying Gravity".  The lyrics discuss "kissing on the porch swing" and having his woman "exit through the bedroom window while the whole world's sleeping"... of course, according to his Wiki, the lyrics were inspired by Urban's relationship with his Ford Mustang.   But hey, this is the 2000s... who are we to tell him who to love? 

The 39th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Taken"
What do you get when you put the smokin' hotness of Famke Janssen together with the good-lookedness of Maggie Grace, then pour in a heapin' helpin' of Liam Neeson as a bad mofo father who is hellbent on getting his daughter back, no matter what?

You get "Taken".  Liam Neeson plays Ben, a divorced guy who is just trying to get along with his daughter, and his ex-wife, and is forced to allow his daughter to go overseas.  When he gets a disturbing phone call from his daughter, who is then kidnapped, he becomes a Super Pimpdaddy and goes nuts on everyone to get her back.  Its one of those kind of "I hope that I would do as much for Lorelei Addison as he does for his kid" kind of films. 



"I don't know who you are.  I don't know what you want.  If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money.  But what I do have is a very particular set of skills... skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."   YEAH!!!

The 38th Coolest Thing of 2009... "John Adams"
From June 5th of last year... ...I wanted to talk about "John Adams", the HBO Mini-series that The Lovely Steph Leann and I have been watching. We finished part 2 of 7, and already, its magnificent. Its just a wonderful piece of film thusfar, with Paul Giamatti as the title character doing a great job. It might just stolen out from under him, though, with Tom Wilkinson as Benjamin Franklin, who is hilarious and perfect at the same time. The big surprise? How much I love the character of Abigail Adams. I already dig on Laura Linney anyway, one of my favorite actresses, but her take on the strained and sacrificial wife of John Adams is nearly flawless.

Anyway, to follow up, we did finish it.  And it was amazing, from start to finish.  The miniseries is in 7 parts, and it takes you through the early days of Adams' political career, through his presidency and battles with fellow patriots, and through the end of his life.  Laura Linney is amazing, Paul Giamatti is solid and even the bit players, like That Guy David Morse as General, then President, Washington, are great.

Even though it is a Hollywood production (from HBO), its pretty much unbiased in its telling of the American founding and its founders.  Its remarkable to watch a group of men so passionate about what they believe to be right, so willing to give up everything they have for a country to be free of tyranny and rule from a land far away... and its important to remember that not everyone was for succession.  Not everyone wanted to be free--many people wanted to stay right where they were, under rule, as it was comfortable and predictable. 

I'll stop before I get on a rant, but here's some recommended reading from Rush Limbaugh Jr, the father of the talk show host.  Its called "Americans Who Risked Everything."  Yes we can!

The 37th Coolest Thing of 2009... The Video for "Fallin' For You" by Colbie Caillet
Here's what I wrote on October 29th, in a post called "Music and Magic"... 
Here's what I love about this video... its just fun. And sweet. And nice. She's pretty, he's a nerd, yet she totally digs him. Its like The Lovely Steph Leann falling for me all over again, only without the surfing and the trailer. And the ending of the video is just precious. Yep, I said precious



My 20th favorite video of the first decade of the century, and the 37th coolest thing of all last year.

The 36th Coolest Thing of 2009... Debating Brad Latta
Everyone needs an antithesis.  I'm not sure that Brad is mine, cause I am not really sure what my antithesis would even be, but perhaps he'll fit.

I believe what I believe, and I know why I believe it, but the good (and bad) thing about my friend Brad is he asks--nay, demands--that you know why you believe it.  "Gut feeling" doesn't work with this guy... being the lawyer that he is, he asks you give the facts.  Be it sources, facts, data, stats or whatever. 

Though we are mainly on the same page about most things, we do differ in many ways, and sometimes our late night Gmail or Facebook chats/debates/wars can be heated... probably the biggest battle was recently, when our Congress passed the healthcare bill, and He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected signed off on it (not that He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected actually knew what was in the bill... nor most of our other Congressmen, one of which stated that they didn't have time to read any of it... but another discussion for another day).

But at the end of the day, I think we both have a mutual respect for each other, he for my passion on what I believe, me for his challenging me (and others) to have a reason to believe it.   He thinks he's right and I'm wrong, I know I'm right and he's wrong, and we'll continue our banter up until and past the November election.  My hats off to you, Brad. 

The 35th Coolest Thing of 2009... This Picture
Taken at our few days in Walt Disney World, here's a snapshot of Amy McL, Tommy Mac, The Good Rev'rn Ty Sharpton Coffey and Yours Truly...

This picture cracks me up every single time I look at it.

The 34th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Star Trek"
From the Clouds review on May 7th, 2009:

I loved this movie. I loved how it started, I loved the story, I loved the effects, I loved how it ended, I just thought this flick was absolutely worth the wait and just awesome. I really enjoyed how JJ Abrams didn't take the movie soooo seriously... there are a lot of Trek fans out there, so he had to walk a fine line between telling a story that people who aren't necessarily Trekkies will enjoy and want to see, and not angering or upsetting those very Trekkies who, despite the fact some of them have never kissed a girl (by the way, I looked for that Shatner SNL skit, and couldn't find it anywhere...), have basically kept the franchise alive for forty years.

Abrams does a great job at walking that line... I think anyone who isn't familiar with Star Trek will just enjoy a good science fiction story, and anyone who knows the story will recognize some of the little salutes to the original that have found its way into the film. The officer who goes with Sulu and Kirk down to the alien planet--you know he's not coming back. We know this because we've seen the show. Bones yelling, "Dammit, I'm a doctor!" and Scotty yelling, "We're giving it all she's got cap-pin!" were lines that I cracked up on, as did many other people in the theater. Even the Kobayashi Maru training scene is a throwback to the original cast, and there's a slight shout-out to the interracial barrier broken by the original series (when Kirk and Uhura kissed on television. Gasp.)

Anyway, I can highly recommend this film to anyone who's ever had a remote interest in Star Trek, be it the Original Series, or the Next Generation, or Deep Space Nine or Voyager or Enterprise or Tribbletown or Space Babylon or Battleship Starlactica or whatever they've called the 87 spin off shoes... for any die-hard Trekkies, loosen up a little. JJ Abrams made his film in love. Its great.

The 33rd Coolest Thing of 2009... PTI

Most mornings, I shower with Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornhieser.  Okay, not actually with Wilbon and TK, but I download the podcast every day, and on mornings when The Lovely Steph Leann is not around when its showertime, ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption" is on my iPod.

Its an irreverent sports talk show that has two hosts--usually Wilbon and TK, but sometimes sportswriters Dan LeBatard or Bob Ryan or a few others jumps in to substitute.  Usually they go through the big sports topics of the day, including doing various segments with titles like "Oddsmakers" and "Email" and "Role Play" (which cracks me up).  Its remarkable, though... I've never actually seen a full episode of the show.  I actually try not to watch it when its on TV, because I know I'll be listening to it on the iPod the next day. 

The 32nd Coolest Thing of 2009... "Avatar"
I did my Clouds review on January 4th, 2010, but I did see the movie in 2009... and here's a summary of that review:

"Avatar" was the absolute best use of 3-D I've ever seen in my complete, whole, entire life. The spectacle, the color and the use of 3-D was marvelous, the depth of the picture was unlike anything I'd ever seen. The movie simply comes alive as the picture goes on, and while you forget you are even watching it in 3-D, somehow you know it wouldn't be the same in 2-D.

The story was average. I mean, it was a good story, it wasn't boring, a few people died that you didn't expect to die, but you kinda knew how the ending would end. The acting is average, no one really jumps out, though I will admit that both Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana do a stellar job all dressed in the blue of the Na'vi.

By and large, "Avatar" is a magnificent film, if only for what your eyes will feast upon in every second. And to see it, do it justice and see it in 3-D. Don't wait for the dollar theater or do the "I'll see it on DVD" or catch a 2D show... this is a movie you just simply need to see in 3-D to understand. And to fully appreciate.

And now that its been a few months since I've seen it, I look forward to seeing it again, to see if I still feel the same about it.  It lost the big prize at the Academy Awards to "The Hurt Locker", and I'm curious to see, after all the hype and the fact that its now the biggest movie in American film history, does it still hold up? 

The 31st Coolest Thing of 2009... Ruminations
There was an email that went around that caught everyone's attention, and made me laugh so hard, I posted it in September.  It had hilarious little bites like "I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die." and "Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do in fact know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?"

Well, Krista, fellow coffee drinker, informed me that the site belonged to comedian Aaron Karo, and the site was called "Ruminations".  And its awesome.  Its now a site I check three or four times a week, sometimes daily, depending on how busy I am.   Saying then, "I will tell you that the site itself is not a bad site... it does have some Not Emmy Turnbow Safe language, but its very rarely anything than just worldy conversation, nothing dirty. Now, I could tell you to go on over to that site and have fun reading, and you might do that, but let's be real... I want you to stay here. Heck, I'm about half-a-thousand away from 30K, so I'd like to keep you on this very site..."  Proud to say I'm about two half-a-thousands away from 40K now, so there!

Anyway, to end this, I'd like to give you some recent ruminations, including some I wrote (and were published):

**Only two things become important when stuck in traffic: a full tank and an empty bladder.

**Getting into a heated political debate with a casual acquaintance on Facebook is a great way to make things really awkward the next time you actually see each other

**When I drop my food, it isn't about how many seconds it was on the ground. It's about who's around me to see me pick it up and eat it.

**Hey customer service call center... at what point does your "higher call volume than normal" actually become normal enough that you will hire more people and not make me wait 40 minutes to talk to you?

**The fact that the recommendations for me in the my iTunes store include Debbie Gibson, the cast of High School Musical AND Nirvana makes me wonder who I even am anymore

**I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, long before I'll even consider going out to actually buy new ones.

**How do I not know you, if we have more than 100 friends in common on facebook?

**A college diploma is just a big fancy receipt

**Maybe I need to set my alarm clock to go off before I go to bed and shut it off. This seems to be the only way I can fall fast asleep

**Some songs are impossible to describe over the Internet. Like that one that goes ooohh oh oooohhooh ooohh oh oooohhhooo ouoo

Alright... 30 to go before the Coolest Thing of 2009 is announced.  If I'm lucky, I'll get to that before I give you the 100th coolest thing of 2010....  coming up... The Tucks... MZ & Starbucks... and later, a Barnett meal that sucks.  Went with the rhyme scheme.