movie monday football

Fun fact... I actually wrote this article in 2013... I've been looking over my 30+ drafts that I've written off and on, some totally complete, one or two being completed parts of a series that is unfinished, and some half done. I even have a pointed piece about the kid who caught flack for smirk smiling at a fake protester on the steps of the Capitol -- I'll probably hold onto that one. 

But either way, here is a post about my favorite football movies... I added a few lines and did some grammar correction, but otherwise, here ya go... 

For our inaugural Movie Monday.... since football season is winding down, at least college wise, I thought I'd celebrate America's true pastime with my favorite five football centric films...

5... "The Replacements" (2000)
When pro football teams all go on strike, replacement players are used, including on the Washington Sentinals, where their star QB takes a slide instead of scoring a game winning TD so he wouldn't be hurt.  Enter Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves), who, together with his grizzled coach, Gene Hackman, and a wacky cast of teammates played by Faizon Love, Orlando Jones, Jon Favreau and Rhys Ifans, have to win three of the final four games of the season to make the playoffs.

Sure, its silly.  And goofy.  And its so much fun.  And the incredibly cute Brooke Langton is Annabelle, Shane's love interest... this movie is also known for its great line, "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars.  Glory?  Lasts forever."

What happened to Brooke Langton?  She's 50, she's still working, and still beautiful. 

4... "Remember the Titans" (2000)
Herman Boone (Denzel Washington) is hired on to coach a racially divided Williams High School, taking the reins from Coach Yoast (Will Patton), who stays on as an assistant.  Set in 1971, the school is awash in racial prejudice, as Coach Boone is told that if he loses a single game, he's fired.  

The movie, sometimes being a little sappy and predictable, is solid, fun and weaves a great story.  The cast is also stellar, with Ryan Hurst and Wood Harris as the main white and black dudes on the team who (naturally) find a way to come together, with supporting roles by Kip Pardue as the surfer QB, Ethan Suplee as the token fat guy, Donald Faison as a RB named Petey and a young Hayden Panettiere as Coast Yoast's daughter.  Oh yeah, Ryan Gosling is in this too. 

Fun fact... of course, as most films based on a true story will go, this one plays a little fast and loose with the truth -- turns out, by many accounts Coach Boone was quite the jackwagon in real life -- and lot of the racial tension drummed up in the movie was really just drummed up for the movie. Alas, Hollywood.   

3... "The Waterboy" (1998)
What a stupid film.  It just is.  And I love it.  Do I really need to tell you the plot?  Adam Sandler is Bobby Boucher, a Cajun in Louisiana who is recruit by Mr Coach Klien (Henry Winkler in this don't-take-myself-so-serious phase) to play football for the terrible South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs, after being rejected by the U of Louisiana Cougars... and of course, it all climaxes in... The Bourbon Bowl.  Of course it does.

You know the lines... "been playing the foosball behind mama's back!?" and "water sucks! it really really sucks!" and "I saw Vicky Vallencourt's boobies and I liked them too!"... love this movie.
 

2... "Necessary Roughness" (2001)
If you are sensing a trend here, of me liking bad football comedies, you are right.  And this one is the best of the comedic bunch.  Scott Bakula!  Sinbad!  Robert Loggia!  Larry Miller!  Harley Jane Kozak! 

Yeah, you probably know those names, and you definitely know the faces...  The football season approaches for the Texas State Fightin' Armadillos, but with most of the previous players suspended and coaching staff fired due to NCAA sanctions (the accusations here are very similar to the real life charges against Southern Methodist University, which was handed the "death penalty" in 1987--more on this later).

Enter Coach Ed Gennero (Hector Elizondo) and his assistant coach Wally (Robert Loggia), who are forced to not only deal with the NCAA restrictions, but also the ones placed on the team by the mean Dean Elias (a wonderfully smarmy Larry Miller)... Dean Miller has left Coach with only 17 players allowed on the team, forcing them most players to play offense and defense, hence, "ironman" football.
The quarterback?  A 34 year old former high school star named Paul Blake (Bakula) who never attended college and has eligibility, who also convinces a TA named Andre (Sinbad), who also has a year left, to play.

And the movie takes off from there, with supporting roles from Jason Batemen, and Kathy Ireland as a the soccer star turned female placekicker (Kathy, I've always loved you from when I was a teenager... but acting is not your forte)... Harley Jane Kozak as a professor, who becomes Paul's love interest and continues to spurn the advances of Dean Miller,  thereby fueling the Dean's hatred of the team.... Rob Schneider, before he got too ridiculous in movies, as announcer Chuck Neiderman and finally, the university president, played by former US presidential candidate Fred D. Thompson.

I love this movie and watch it every time its on, no matter where I catch the film.  Its funny, predictable and a little (a lot) ridiculous, but its so much fun.

Trivia... Texas State wasn't a real university until 2003, when the real life Southwest Texas State University shortened its name to Texas State, with the mascot the Bobcats.  In the movie, the first opponent that the fictional Texas State Fightin' Armadillos plays is the Southwest Texas State U Bobcats.  Irony.


1... "The Blind Side" (2009)
There are some who would say this film is sappy.  There are some who would say this film is made to directly pull on your heart strings.  There are some who would say that it took a little section of a mighty fine book and made an entire movie about that one section.  And they would all be right.

That doesnt change the fact that I am in love with this movie.  I love everything about this film, from the cast--Sandra Bullock in her Oscar winning role... newcomer Quinton Aaron as the lead character of Michael Oher... Tim McGraw as Sean Tuohy... Kathy Bates as tutor Miss Sue... young Jae Head as the youngest son SJ, who has some of the best lines... and of course, the good-lookin' Lily Collins as, conveniently enough, Collins Tuohy, the daughter of Leighe Ann and Sean.

You perhaps know the story, as the Tuohy's, a well to do family in Memphis, TN, ends up not only befriending but becoming the caretakers of Michael Oher, who has been shuffled around from foster home to foster home, running away each time to return to his drug addicted mother. 

The movie then chronicles Michael's story, as everyone discovers how he's been lost in the education system and how he's helped, loved and redeemed by the power of one family loving on a stranger who becomes their friend... then son.  In addition to circumstance, the other foes in the movie are an NCAA investigator who come around, questioning the Tuohy's care for Michael when he chooses what school he'll go to, and gangsta's from the Michael's old neighborhood.

How much do I love this film?  Its currently my 53rd favorite film of all time, has a total re-watchability factor (like "Necessary Roughness", I can pick this movie up anywhere and watch it to completion) and is based on a book that is also extremely awesome.


Honorable Mentions:
"Rudy" (1993) - Like it.  Don't love it, not nearly as much as everyone around me does.

"Jerry Maguire" (1996) - Considered putting this on the list, and it would have ranked #1 if I had--its my 35th favorite film of all time--but to me, this is not necessarily a football movie, not like the ones listed above.  Football plays a part, but its a football agent story.

"The Longest Yard" (1974) - The original with Burt Reynolds, not that travesty made a few years ago with Adam Sandler.

"Varsity Blues" (1999) - I only list this here because I've rewatched it recently.  It holds up, if only for the great cast--Scott Caan, Ali Larter (besides the whipped cream, I mean), Amy Smart (underrated as an actress) and of course, the late, great Paul Walker.

"The Last Boy Scout" (1991) - Like Jerry Maguire, football plays a part of the story, but is not the story.  But I do love me some Last Boy Scout, so I had to mention it.

"Quarterback Princess" (1983) - A made for TV movie with a very young Helen Hunt, a female who quarterbacks a high school team.  This used to come on cable all the time when I was a kid, and I watched it at least a dozen times.

Worth noting...

There are a couple of football documentaries that must be mentioned, including "Pony Exce$$" (2011), a film that takes on the SMU scandal as I mentioned above... "Small Potatoes: Who Killed the USFL" (2009), following the rise and fall of the 1980s USFL, including an interview with who the movie suggests might be the culprit--Donald Trump... and "Undefeated" (2011), the story of the 2009 high school team seeking its first playoff win ever...

(ps... I've never seen "Brian's Song")

movies of 2013... not the best, not the worst

Okay... so this post is forever long.  This is a prime example of not writing to be read, but writing to write, because there are 64 quick reviews below.  Yes, I said SIXTY FOUR.

I don't expect really anyone to read all the way through, but more of a perusal, stopping on certain titles they wanted to read about... but I wanted a recap of the movies I have seen for the first time in 2013... we looked at my picks for the worst viewed movies of the year... coming in a few days, the Really-Good, Almost Great Movies of 2013, then my picks for the Ten Best Films I Saw in 2013... plus the Golden Globes on Sunday Night!  Boy do you have a lot to read.

So, here's a lot of movies, and a quick word about them, written in alphabetical order for your convenience...

American Reunion (2012)... From my review: " The entire cast is back, and though its more of the
same, its fun watching the characters try and act like adults for once. Rated R for lots of bad things, like the first one."

The Artist (2011)... A "silent film", in black and white, its stylish and well done.  That said, its a chore to watch, and shouldn't have won Best Picture... I would have given it to The Descendants, or even Midnight in Paris, both superior films (I've seen The Artist once, not likely to ever watch it again)

The Bourne Legacy (2012)... I like Jeremy Renner, and he really makes this movie what it is.  Its hard to see a Bourne movie and not see Matt Damon as Jason Bourne, but Renner pulls it off (playing a contemporary, not Jason Bourne).  The addition of Ed Norton only makes it better

The Call (2013)... This is that WWE Studios film that has Halle Berry as a 911 operator and Abigail Breslin as a kid who gets kidnapped... and let me tell ya... I was expecting a pile of crap, and I got a pile of... well, decent filmmaking.  Its not as bad as you think, I promise.  I actually kinda liked it.  Probably gets my "Way Better Than I Expected" Award for 2013.

The Campaign (2012)... Its silly to say that The Campaign, with Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell, is silly.. but it is.  Its just silly.  There are better silly movies out there. 

Chronicle (2012)... Three students find a glowing rock from space, gain superpowers.  Its more about teenage angst with added powers more than anything... it starts strong, then kind of gets predictable. 

Coma (1978) ... Kinda creepy 70s thriller about a hospital program with sinister intentions, and the nurse that stumbles upon the truth.  A little dated, but worth a watch.

Death Race: Inferno (2012 )... Forgettable prequel to the revived Death Race franchise with Jason Statham.  Still, kinda fun, if not ridiculous in its premise.

Elysium (2013)... Sweeping and grand, its a sci/fi tale with a believable, bulky Matt Damon and Sharlto Copley as an awesome bad guy...  Jodie Foster co-stars, with some weird accent.

Everything Must Go (2010)... Will Ferrell in a semi-serious role about a guy who gets thrown out and ends up camping out on his own yard, befriend a black kid in the neighborhood to help him out.  Its a very underrated, and I'm afraid, forgotten film by now...

Extreme Measures (1996) ... Hugh Grant is a doctor who finds out that Gene Hackman, another doctor, is doing bad stuff and I don't remember the rest of it.  It's watchable, but not imperative.

Flight (2012)... from my review: "Its got language, its got tons of drug use, some boobies right off the bat, and a depressing downward spiral of a man who seems like a good man. A good man doing very bad things. Verdict? If you can handle it, its definitely worth a watch, just once. I'll probably never see it again."

Future World (1976)... Forgettable sequel to the far superior, and creepy, "Westworld" from 1973.

Gangster Squad (2013)... Good cast is wasted on what I thought was an overly ambitious movie. Tried to be more than it was. Eh.

Get the Gringo (2012)... Mel Gibson returns in this tale of corruption and so forth in a Mexican prison.  It got good reviews overall, but I personally found it lacking.

GI Joe: Retaliation (2013)... Not as silly as the first one, plus The Rock, makes it better. Not great, but passable.

Gone (2012) ... I love Amanda Seyfried, though I don't know why... her body of great work is being overshadowed by her body of crap work.  And this movie didn't help at all... and I'm really afraid to watch "Lovelace".

The Good Student (2006) ... I actually don't remember anything about this movie, or even who's in it, other than I think it was so-so

Grown Ups 2 (2013)... You really, really have to like the first one to enjoy this film. I mean, the cast is the same, save one (paging Schneider, Rob Schneider) who is not even alluded to in this one. Same
gags, same pointless storyline that goes nowhere. The first one is a guilty pleasure for me, and this one is much the same.

The Heat (2013)... Sandra Bullock AND Melissa McCarthy?  Instant classic.  In a Bridesmaids-type humor, this is a really funny flick, but full of language, 99%  of it from Melissa herself. 

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)... Easily better than the first one, with an unbelievable dragon onscreen.  Still, its a long, long movie, and seems like it stops right as its really revving up.

Hugo (2011) ... Animated film directed by Martin Scorsese.  I wanted to like it.  I was bored. Really bored.

Intolerable Cruelty (2003) ... George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones star in this Coen Brothers vehicle, probably one of their least acclaimed ones, though its kind of fun and clever.

Jack Reacher (2013)... Tom Cruise is in this phase where he is doing sci/fi action future film after sci/fi action future film... this one may not be set in the future, but its all about him being the mysterious hit man get-it-done cooler guy... and for what its worth, its pretty good.

Jeff Who Lives at Home (2011)... From my review: Expecting a comedy, I was quite surprised when I discovered it was more of a drama... a dramedy, if you will. And, I was also quite surprised how much I enjoyed this film... it all rests on the charm of Jason Segal, who pulls it off well.  Plus, its got Judy Greer, and I love me some Judy Greer.

Kick A** 2 (2013)... I liked the first one, and I liked the feel of this one... the addition of Jim Carrey was great, despite his whining about it afterwards.

Killing Them Softly (2012)... Brad Pitt is... something.  An assassin?  A hit man?   I saw this last week, and I don't remember much about it. It was that forgettable. 

The Last Stand (2013)... With Ah-nold headlining a film for the first time in forever, he really seems too old to do this kind of movie... and he kinda is.  And this doesn't work on any level.  Its stupid, its ridiculous, and its poorly written... yet, I was entertained.  Maybe its Johnny Knoxville, who knows, but I would say its worth a look.  Keep your standards low, and you won't be disappointed.

Lincoln (2012)... From my review: "Its definitely a talkie.. a lot of talking. A lot of talking. A lot. So, don't go into it sleepy, as you will lose yourself amongst the chatter of slavery and freedom and government and war. Even Danny D-Lewis' immaculate performance as Lincoln becomes secondary to the story after a while."

The Lone Ranger (2013)... A little longer than necessary, its not a bad movie... but Johnny Depp is what hurts this film the most. Here's my review from July.

Machete Kills (2013)... Takes the awesome, craptistic premise of the original and makes it more awesome and far more craptastic.

Major League 2: Back to the Minors (1998) ... Oy.  I mean... so bad.  So, so bad.

Man of Steel (2013)... Sigh. I wanted this to be so good. I wanted this to be good. I really did. Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, is Lois Lane, and I thought this film took Lois in a terrible direction. Amy did awesome, because she's Amy, but the character was terrible. Michael Shannon, normally a sure-thing in a movie, is wooden and reading from a cue card as Zod, the bad guy. Kevin Costner is a talking 2x4. Its overly long, and the ending climactic battle is great for the first, oh, 45 minutes of it... then you start realizing that two dudes, Zod and Supes, are pretty much destroying an entire city, more than the bad guys in Marvel's The Avengers in their final battle. I wanted to like it, I really did, and I promise, you, I tried.

Me, Myself & Irene (2000) ... My friends Amarylis By Mornin' and Hurricane Rhett live and die by this movie, telling me how hilarious it is, how much they laughed, how it was the funniest movie hahaha... and... my verdict?  Eh.  I laughed here and there.  But overall, it's just a mildly amusing. 

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)... Cute, but too quirky for its own good

Mud (2013)... Though I thought Matthew McConaughey was great, I didn't find this good movie to be the great, stellar film that so many critics did.  Seen it once, I'm done.

Olympus Has Fallen (2013)... The White House was in trouble with this one and the next film listed. Gerard Butler has to save President Aaron Eckhart, and this has much more of a serious tone.  Enjoyable.  But don't miss the next film, which is...

White House Down (2013)... This time, its Channing Tatum saving President Jamie Foxx, with a predictable twist on the identity of the bad guy.  More fun, due to Tatum and Foxx's snappy chemistry, though the plot isn't as good as the aforementioned Olympus. (out of alphabetical order, but I thought it fit well here)

Pacific Rim (2013)... Big Robots battling Monsters! There's a plot here somewhere (maybe?) but who cares. You don't watch this for plot, you watch it for big robots beating up monsters.

Parental Guidance (2012)... Billy Crystal and Bette Midler keep the grandkids for the weekend.  Hilarity ensues.  Well, attempted hilarity... they do try. 

The Place Beyond the Pines (2012)... Great performances by Bradley Cooper and Ryan Gosling, but was a little long and dragged a lot.

Presumed Innocent (1990)... Harrison Ford goes to Paris with his wife, and she ends up dead--naturally, he's the main suspect.  This film is fast paced, its clever and its worth a real watch... despite its age, it holds up well.

Project X (2012)... From my review: Don't watch this movie. Its a "found footage film" about a party
that gets way out of control... and I got through the first 10 minutes of it and couldn't deal with it.  So much language, so much drinking, just too much depravity at a too rapid pace.

Rock of Ages (2012)... The attention was on Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx, but the story is Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta, as rock star crossed lovers-to-be... the appeal is all the 80s music sung by the cast. Pretty good, better than I expected.

Savages (2012)... This is a tough flick, focusing on drug dealers who get caught up in the wrong sort of people... but I liked it.  A little too much violence and sex, but still, I thought it was great storytelling, if not a little too gritty.

Scarface (1983) ... Heralded as one of the all time great films, I tried three times to watch it.  I fell asleep all three times.  Once, I was actually tired. 

Skyfall (2012)... Solid James Bond movie.  I have never been a huge fan of James Bond--I don't dislike them, in fact, I've liked the ones I've seen, I've just never made it a point to watch them--but Daniel Craig really shines in this one.

Snow White Movie 1: Mirror Mirror (2012)... The ONLY reason I liked this movie was Lily Collins. Full review here.

Snow White Movie 2: Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)... One of a few reasons I didn't like this movie was Kristen Stewart. Full review here.

Taken 2: Qui Gon Boogaloo (2012)... Don't see this film.  See the first one. The first one is fantastic. This is the first one, just not as good.

Ted (2011)... Ted is a pot smoking, gettin' it on, drinking, cursing teddy bear, first belonging to, then rooming with Mark Wahlberg.  In every way, its wrong... but hilarious... but I have no interest in seeing it again.

Thats My Boy (2012)... From my review: "This film is not good. It has its funny moments every now and again, and the addition of Vanilla Ice as a major character, playing a parody (though its probably close to real life) of himself, is a major plus. Maybe more films should have Vanilla Ice in them."

A Time to Kill (1996)... Somehow, I missed this film when it came out... me being a John Grisham novel adaptation fan, I was excited to sit and watch it start to finish.  Its not perfect, but its well done.

Think Like a Man (2012)... Steve Harvey introduces and narrates this tale which, while not a great, or even good, film of any kind, its light and fun enough to pass as background noise, or even one of those "okay, nothing else is on, I can do this for a while" moments.

30 Minutes or Less (2011)...  Jesse Eisenberg and Aziz Ansari co-star with Danny McBride in this comedy about a dude who gets a bomb strapped to him by two dimwitted criminals in order to rob a bank.  Lame, not funny, and you'll be wishing the movie were over in less than 30 minutes.

Thor: The Dark World (2013)... Better than the first one, which wasn't bad, but is one of my least favorite Marvel flicks.  But we all know Loki is the real reason these films work.

Triple Dog (2010)... So this was on Lifetime... about three chicks at a slumber party investigating the suicide of another chick and... well, it was on, okay?!  Leave me a alone.

2 Guns (2013)... Mark Wahlberg AND Denzel?  Gold.  This won't win any awards, but its funny, its a solid action and its got some good story to it... a high re-watchability factor.

View from the Top (2003) ... Way back in the day, Gwyneth Paltrow starred alongside Christina Applegate and Mike Myers in a film about girls going to stewardess school.  If that description doesn't grab you, nothing will... this film is a turkey.  I laughed maybe once, twice, if that... then again, maybe not. 

Wanderlust (2012)... From my review: I wanted to like this movie alot, with Paul Rudd and Jennifer
Aniston, as a couple who ends up in a strange commune in Georgia. Mildly funny, but it wasn't what
I wanted it to be. Eh.

The Watch (2012) ... An ensemble cast of Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill and more star in comedy/sci-fi movie that had loads of potential, but seems wasted with bad jokes, a thin plot and the whole thing just falls apart as it goes along.

Wimbledon (2004) ... Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst, when she was relevant and awesome, find themselves in court.  In LOVE COURT.  In a love TENNIS COURT... Hey, these are the jokes.  Weak and forgettable.  The jokes and the movie.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)... Drugs.  506 F-words.  Boobs.  That's the entire movie.  Like most Scorsese films, I can say that I've seen it, I was entertained, it was a good enough movie... but I'll likely never watch it again.  As my friend Tommy Mac would say, "I watched American Hustle.  I was subjected to The Wolf of Wall Street."

The Wolverine (2013)... Honestly?  I liked the first Wolverine--I know that makes me in the vast minority... that being said, I thought this was one really well done... Hugh Jackman obviously loves playing Logan, as he keeps doing it... like RDJ's portrayal of Tony Stark/Iron Man, Logan is Jackman's character now...

So.... there ya go.  Did you make it this far?  Its okay if you didn't, I won't be upset... what do you think?  Disagree with anything I said? 

Keep checking back... more of the best of 2013 is coming soon, including the best movies of the year, books read in 2013, and my favorite posts of 2013...

(8,884 words so far in #500words per day challenge, 11,116 words to go for #20KinJanuary)

another dozen movie dash

Back in October, I did a "Dozen Movie Dash", where I gave quick reviews on 12 films that I had seen recently. Its been a while since I gave any sort of real movie review, so I thought I'd bounce back with Another Dozen Movie Dash... ready? Here we go...

"GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE"
This movie is terrible. With Nic Cage starring as Marvel anti-hero Johnny Blaze, who, with a deal from the devil in the first movie (just called "Ghost Rider"), turns into a flame headed, fire cycle riding crazy monster guy who feeds off of the souls of bad people, this movie isn't nearly as good as the first one. And the first one was pretty bad. As a matter of fact, I'm still watching this film, and I can already tell you, this movie is awful.

When these three show up, you know its going to be a little different
than most horror/slasher flicks

"CABIN IN THE WOODS"
A horror slasher film for the modern day "been there/done that" horror film society. Five college students head out to a cabin... located in the woods, conveniently enough... belonging to a relative of one of the teens. From there, they get picked off one by one, which isn't a spoiler because you would expect that from a movie like this.

Its the way it happens, and the why that is intriguing. Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins appear almost randomly, it seems, setting up a system of games and death for our heroes that is unexpected... and fun. If you like suspense and scary type of films, but want something different, then check this flick out. There is a needless boobie scene in the middle, and lots of language... plus slasher violence, so get ready for that.


"JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME"
Jeff, played by Jason Segel, does in fact, live at home. In his mom's basement. And he's in his mid 30s. He spends his days watching TV--notably, repeated viewings of his favorite film, the Mel Gibson starring and M. Night. Shamallama directed "Signs"... and he also spends an inordinate amount of time looking around the room, the neighborhood and the universe for "signs" to tell him why he is here, and what is fate is. After getting a phone call for someone named Kevin, he takes this onto himself to discover what the universe is telling him. On the other side of the story is his older brother, Pat (Ed Helms), a different kind of loser, but a loser still, is in a failing marriage to wife Linda (Judy Greer) due to his laziness and apathy. Both Pat and Jeff are also dealing with their mom (Susan Sarandon), who is dealing with her own little issues.

Jeff and Pat, in an important meeting about life.

Expecting a comedy, I was quite surprised when I discovered it was more of a drama... a dramedy, if you will. And, I was also quite surprised how much I enjoyed this film... it all rests on the charm of Jason Segel, who I'm a fan of, and his portrayal of good guy, if not deeply flawed, Jeff. I think Ed Helms is usually dependable and funny, and I really love Judy Greer (also in "13 Going on 30" and "Love and Other Drugs") in the way I love Marisa Tomei and Emma Stone, that is, I'll watch whatever they are in. There is a lot of language, but thankfully, no dirty scenes... the cast brings this together and makes it work.


"THATS MY BOY"
Ok, so this is Adam Sandler's 2012 entry into his catalog of crap (see also "Little Nicky". And "Mr. Deeds". And "Jack & Jill". And that "Zohan" movie. Better yet, don't see any of those movies). The story goes that back in the day, a teenage Donny had an improper relationship with his teacher, Ms McGarricle, and ended up fathering a son named Todd. And due to Ms. McGarricle's incarceration, Donny, 13, gains custody of his son. And when Todd gets older and is getting married, having told everyone that his parents are dead, here comes daddy Donny--Adam Sandler.

This film is not good. It has its funny moments every now and again, and the addition of Vanilla Ice as a major character, playing a parody (though its probably close to real life) of himself, is a major plus. Maybe more films should have Vanilla Ice in them.

I would totally watch Ghost Vanilla: Spirit of Ice, probably with more gusto and enthusiasm than what's on now.

Anyway, "That's My Boy" has way too much language, and F-bombs everywhere. The material is very suggestive, the jokes are very raunchy, and really, its just all around bad. Maybe wait a bit, catch the somewhat edited version on Spike TV or USANetwork in 2014.


"PROJECT X"
Don't watch this movie. Its a "found footage film" about a party that gets way out of control... and I got through the first 10 minutes of it and couldn't deal with it. Three teenagers who use the F-Bomb, and much worse, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and it's crap. If I want that language from teenagers, I'll watch "Superbad". At least its entertaining.


"HERE COMES THE BOOM"

If you can get past Kevin James as an MMA fighter, than you might
get a kick out of this film.

DO watch this movie. Seriously. This movie is fantastic. Well, I say that being a Kevin James fan... yes, he's kinda dopey, and yes, his movies won't win any awards ("Zookeeper"? Its awful. But awesome. And I love it), but this is a delightfully fun story.

Kevin James is Scott Voss, a high school teacher who is kinda just getting by... but gets a new fire when he finds out that his friend Marty (Henry Winkler) is going to lose his job when the school district cuts out the music program in the school. So, Scott does what any hard working joe would do when needing to earn $48,000... he turns to MMA fighting.

And yes, things turn out exactly like you'd think. Its a silly premise, but Kevin James' charm makes this movie happen. Its completely family friendly... I'm sure there is a bit of language in it, but I don't remember it at all. No sex, and only boxing style violence. Loved it.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez: It was cute.  I liked "Zookeeper" better, if we're ranking Kevin James movies, but it was cute.


"FLIGHT"
Talk about your downer. This is not one to watch when looking for a comedy or something to lighten the mood. Not. At. All.

For starters, Whip Whitaker (Denzel Washington) is an alcoholic. He's also a pilot, and the movie is a snapshot of his life over a few weeks following the opening of the film... when he pilots a jet airliner stoned and drunk out of his mind. And in a well shot, harrowing opening sequence, he lands the plane in a field, becoming a hero to America... until they find out he was high and stoned. Did this cause the plane crash in the first place? And does it matter if it did?

Denzel does what he does... takes the role, makes it his, makes it believable, and makes it awesome. That being said, this is in no way a family film... or a nice film... or an easy film to watch. Its got language, its got tons of drug use, some boobies right off the bat, and a depressing downward spiral of a man who seems like a good man. A good man doing very bad things.

Verdict? If you can handle it, its definitely worth a watch, just once. I'll probably never see it again.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  Wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  Pretty good, but not something I want to watch again.

SIDEBAR: "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" just ended. Frankly, I wanted all of them to die in a fiery inferno. It never got better, just worse.


"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER"
Some films you go into knowing you're going to like it... and if you don't, its a bigger disappointment than if you "thought it would be better". This is one of these films that I knew I was going to like. And thankfully, I wasn't disappointed.

You just can't help but like Sam

Charlie (Logan Leman) is your typical high school loner... he's a freshman, and on his first day of 9th grade, he only makes a single connection: his English teacher (the always awesome Paul Rudd). He meets two high school seniors, Sam (Hermione Granger) and her step-brother Patrick (Ezra Miller)... and from there, its a high school movie. Romance, conflict, bullying, forbidden love, betrayal and so on.

Though this has all of the aforementioned high school movie characteristics, its also fun. And its got heart. Charlie and Sam have an instant connection, and you want them to be together, despite the freshman/senior difference, and though you may not agree with Patrick, you still feel for him and what he ends up going through. Mostly, its about friendship. And its also awesome to see Emma Watson in something that doesn't involve magic wands and a shouted "stupify!" spell.

Rated PG-13, it does have a few things that are for teens and up, so I probably wouldn't let Campbell watch it.. but its cute and quirky, and I loved it.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I really liked it. 


"LINCOLN"
This was movie that I should love... but wasn't sure if I would.

Much heralded, highly anticipated, Daniel Day-Lewis personifies the 16th president, Abraham Lincoln. The film covers the final four months of Lincoln's life, as he is desperately trying to get the 13th Amendment ratified... the one that bans slavery and involuntary servitude.

Lincoln did well in theaters.  Typically, Lincoln's outcome in theaters
has not been very good.

The all star cast includes Tommy Lee Jones as Thaddeus Stevens, a fierce abolitionist... Sally Field as Mary Todd Lincoln, Abe's wife who turns out is a bit batty... JoGo Levitt as Robert Lincoln, the eldest son... Jackie Earle Haley as Confederate VP Alexander Stephens... and in a part that could have easily been nominated for Best Supporting Actor, David Strathairn as Sec of State William Seward... and what seemed like a billion bit parts for various congressmen, soldiers and so on.

Also among the cast, James Spader as Republican operative William Bilbo, one who is given a task of rallying support for the 13th Amendment. Spader is very recognizable, but its such a juicy role, a part that I don't think he's had in a long, long time.

Its definitely a talkie.. a lot of talking. A lot of talking. A lot. So, don't go into it sleepy, as you will lose yourself amongst the chatter of slavery and freedom and government and war. Even Danny D-Lewis' immaculate performance as Lincoln becomes secondary to the story after a while. Highly recommended, minimal language, and historical war violence.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I really liked it.  Alot.


"MADEA'S WITNESS PROTECTION"
Oy.

Yeah, somehow I ended up watching this with The Lovely Steph Leann. Amusing at times, but silly. And stupid.

Oy.

The Lovely Steph Leann:  (when asked, she laughed).  Um... it was okay.  I liked "Here Comes the Boom" better. 

Oh look... another picture of Amy Adams.  Go figure.

"THE TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE"
An aging baseball scout (Clint Eastwood) has been told by the Atlanta Braves, who he's been with for forever, that he's just not cutting it in this modern day society of technology and so on. So, Gus is given one last assignment by his boss (the underappreciated John Goodman), but also asks Gus' daughter Mickey (Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with) to join him to keep him straight. They scout a prospect in North Carolina, meet a young rival scout, played by Justin Timberlake, who also becomes interested in Mickey, and also has to fight off Braves executive Phillip Sanderson (Matthew Lillard, who is becoming pretty good at playing the sleaze) who wants Gus' job.

That's the movie. And its pretty good. Slow at times, but the story in engaging, and having a grizzly Eastwood, a really good Timberlake and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, on screen doesn't hurt. PG-13 for language.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I liked this movie. 


"PITCH PERFECT"
Yes, yes, this seems like Glee-Lite. Or Glee: The Non Concert Yet Still Musical Movie. It does seem like that. Don't be fooled... this movie is wonderful. An absolute delight of a film.

Anna Kendrick (r) and Rebel Wilson (l).  Rebel plays "Fat Amy".  Just
the name itself is hilarious. 

I love Anna Kendrick, which was the main reason for watching this film, and it made me happy that it was such a good movie. Kendrick is Beca, a student who is forced to go to college by her father, and ends up taking an internship at the college radio station. She ends up joining The Bellas, an all girl acapella group, who through much strife and drama (all girls, remember?), make it to the regional competition, taking on other groups like The Treblemakers, High Notes and my favorite name, Pitch Slapped.

Its quirky, its fun, co-star Rebel Wilson steals every scene she's in, and in a subtle shot at Glee, one of the categories of songs during a competition includes "Songs that Glee Ruined".

Some language gives it the PG-13 rating. Its one of those rare movies that I liked the more I thought about it, and am looking forward to watching it again.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I LOVED THIS MOVIE... this movie was freakin' awesome. 


"PREMIUM RUSH"
So what happens when a bike messenger in New York City gets a package who's contents are so valuable, someone is trying to kill the messenger to get it? Thus is the question answered in "Premium Rush", this came-and-went-at-theaters little movie that feature JoGo Levitt, That Guy Michael Shannon and a few others that you might recognize, but won't remember their names.

Taking place in the span of 90 minutes, its this adrenaline rush of a film that takes place all over Manhattan, featuring chase scenes with bikes and cop cars and lots of action, even if the plot is a little predictable and unbelievable.

This is much like the Denzel film "Unstoppable"... its enjoyable from start to finish, and I liked the heck out of this movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fun, Michael Shannon is a perfect creep, and the supporting cast is likable enough to keep the film going. Again, the plot is a bit far fetched, especially when you actually learn the contents of the bag, but still... check it out. PG-13 for language.


And finally... here's a few bonus quick reviews:



Why yes, Karl Urban does have this scowl during the entire movie.  And
that's part of its awesomocity.

"DREDD"... Great action flick. A billion times better than that Sly Stallone crap from the 90s. Violent, language, but well shot and lots of fun.

"AMERICAN REUNION"... The fourth in the American Pie series, and perhaps the best since the first one. The entire cast is back, and though its more of the same, its fun watching the characters try and act like adults for once. Rated R for lots of bad things, like the first one.

"WANDERLUST"... I wanted to like this movie alot, with Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, as a couple who ends up in a strange commune in Georgia. Mildly funny, but it wasn't what I wanted it to be. Eh.

"BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD"... Really? Nominated for Best Picture? If I had stumbled across this quirky little flick on Netflix, I might have thought "well, that was kinda fun". But because its so ballyhooed and beloved by critics, I didn't expect it to be so... well, blah. Personally, I think it was acclaimed for only a few reasons: New Orleans. Post-hurricane. Poverty. Skip it.

"PIRANHA DD"... Run. Run from this movie. If someone holds a gun to your head, then take the bullet and hope for the best. Just sayin'.


So there ya go.  Hope you enjoyed our little dash through recent filmdom.  I tried to warn you what to expect in terms of language and boobage and the like, so please watch with caution.  And yes, I watch a ton of movies.  Don't hate. 

the 2013 oscar blog

(scroll down for updates)

7:25... Here we are... the first blog of February, and its the Academy Awards... I love the Oscars, because I love movies, so once again, I'm excited to be watching it...

...And unlike the Golden Globes, its not a monsoon outside, which means the chances of satellite going out are slim to none. 

Me: The Lovely Steph Leann, what are you wearing?
The Lovely Steph Leann (blank stare)

Five minutes to GO!!!

728... I kinda feel like "Splash", aka "Celebrity Diving", is on the air because there was a bit too much vodka in the planning meeting...

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (is it Joseph-Gordon Levitt?) (l) and Harry Potter (r)
join Seth MacFarlane for a soft shoe dance as part of his opening monologue

730... And we begin.  Seth MacFarlane begins with a shout out to Tommy Lee Jones' grumbling... who ends up chuckling.

731p... Seth tells us that this years theme is celebrating music in film. Something tells me Annie 2 won't be mentioned.

732p... The obligatory "Win an Oscar, disappear from the industry" joke...

734p... Seth is trying, and mostly succeeding... you can tell he's testing his waters, getting a "oooh" from a Chris Brown & Rihanna joke.

735p... SHATNER!!!  SHATNER!!! SHATNER!!!

738p... What the... what is happening?  Boobs? 

739p... I'll admit it... "We Saw Your Boobs".. funny.  Really funny. 

739p... I just typed "We Saw your Boobs" for the first time in the history of this blog.  Ever.

741p... Another first.  "A Denzel Movie with Sock Puppets" (left)

742p... This is the best Oscar show in years. 

744p... Seth looks like a walking Easter Seal symbol... or a gay pope. 

745p... A real "Smokey and the Bandit" reference... in the Oscar monologue.  The first time Oscars and Smokey & the Bandit have ever been used together.

747p... Let's get to some awards!! 

748p... Octavia Spencer won last year for "The Help" for Best Supporting Actress... and she is out to give Best Supporting Actor to either Alan Arkin (Argo)... Bobby DeNiro (Silver Linings Playbook)... Phil Hoffman (The Master)... Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln) and Chris Waltz (Django Unchained)...

My pick?  Tommy Lee Jones. 

Last year I did horribly at the Oscar picks...  this time?  Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained.... wow.  Wow.  He has now TWO Oscars for Tarantino Films.

This is good, though... Tommy Lee Jones didn't win, so he got the smiling out of the way.  No more grins for the rest of the evening.

752p... So... as he walks off, they play the theme from ET:  The Extra Terrestrial.  What the what??

Commercial Break

755p... Paul Rudd!  I love Paul Rudd!!  Even though he was in "My Idiot Brother", which is terrible.  Melissa McCarthy looks like a beluga whale in her grey dress, and her too-much-blush-cheeks.

756p... Paul Rudd looks like he stepped out of a 1977 Scorsese film

757p... Paul and Melissa pick up the Best Animated Short for "Paperman", a delightful little movie... I go 1-1 so far.

759p... The popular choice is "Brave" for Best Animated Film because its Pixar... but I went with Wreck-It-Ralph.  "Brave" wins.

Here's my original review of "Brave"

8p... Reese Witherspoon. 

Wow. 

Wow.

That is all.

801p... Because there are 114 films nominated for Best Picture, they are doing away with the "Famous Actor Introducing One Nominted Film" thing, having Reese present "Les Miserables", "The Life of Pi" and "Beasts of the Southern Wild".

804p... Quavenzene Wallace, nominated for Beasts of the Southern Wild, looks up as Seth MacFarlane gives her a shout out.

Quavenzene:  Why is that white man saying my name?

805p... Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye and Nick Fury come out to banter and do Cinematography...

806p... SAMUEL L. JACKSON'S JACKET--FOR THE WIN

807p... I chose Life of Pi... and it wins.  Life of Pi will rack up several of these lesser awards tonight, I predict.

809p... I think Lucius Malfoy is giving an Oscar speech

810p... Visual Effects... I again chose Life of Pi... I love being right.

811p... So the "Get Done With Your Speech Music" is... Jaws?!  That's HILL-AIR-EEOUS

Commercial Break

816p... Seth introduces Channin Tatum and Jennifer Aniston, two people so beautiful that somehow, I almost think their kids would be butt-ugly.

817p... And the award for Costume Design goes to Anna Kareninninanninana... when do you stop the last name...?

819p... "Hairstyling" added to the "Makeup" category... and there is only three films nominated... I guess they would either have to add "Hairstyling", or "Les Miserables" would run unopposed...

820p... I wonder how much of Les Mis' win was for the butchering of Anne Hathaway's hair...

821p... Halle Berry out now.  Does it make me a bad person, or gay, if she doesn't appeal to me? 

822p... My buddy Mikey Nipp is peeing himself right about now... Bond Tribute time. 

We are treated to an extended Bond Tribute, full of clips and snips from all 23 James Bond movies.  I'm just not a huge fan.  I mean, I liked a few here and there, but none are considered "favorites" of any kind. 

826p... I think I'm too young to appreciate Shirley Bassey... and probably 1/3 of the crowd is clapping because they don't want to be on camera not clapping. 

Commercial Break

830p... I know Connery is retired, and maybe Daniel Craig is too busy... but Dalton, Lazenby, Moore and probably Brosnan were free, I'm sure.  They couldn't have been recruited for that video montage? 

831p... Kerry Washington and Jamie Foxx, stars of Django Unchained, come out, looking almost as beautiful, though not quite, as Channing and Jen earlier.

832p... K-Wash and J-Foxx are here to give us the Best Live Action Short Film winner... I chose Buzkashi Boys, a shot in the dark.  I feel like Oscar ballots should give you a five or six word description about these short films... "Curfew" wins.  Whatever that is.

835p... Winners are now talking fast, in fear of the "Jaws" music..

835p... Best Documentary Short.  The Oscar goes to Inocente... I picked Redemption.  Again, who knows?! 

837p... Seth MacFarlane is back up now, introducing Liam Neeson, the original Darkman. 

837p... Liam has a very special set of skills

838p... "Argo"... "Lincoln"... "Zero Dark Thirty"... the films that Liam is introducing.

FYI.... Here's my review of "Argo"

841p... Seth tells us the other actors who played Lincoln... and said "the actor who really got into Lincoln's head is John Wilkes Booth... too soon?"

842p... Ben Affleck comes out to present the Documentary Feature...

843p... Not gonna lie... I liked Reindeer Games.  Its a big more watchable than Good Will Hunting.

844p... Searching for Sugarman takes the Oscar.

Commercial Break

849p... Jennifer Garner... gorgeous or hideous?  I just cannot tell.  I don't know the answer.  I struggle with it.

849p... Jessica Chastain?  Elegant.  Not gorgeous, but elegant. 

850p... Best Foreign Film.  Not sure how "Amour" can be nominated for Best Picture and NOT win this award.  Aaaaand... I'm right.

852p... Christoph + this guy for Amour = 2 Austrian Oscar Wins! 

852p... Seth tells us about the Oscar Orchestra... who are performing down the street for the show! 

852p... John Travolta comes out... I mean, onstage, not out-out...

853p... Travolta has a harder time saying "Miserables" than I do.  I didn't add the "s" on the end, he added four more syllables. 

855p... Catherine Zeta-Jones, singing a song from "Chicago"... and not sounding nearly as good as she did in "Chicago" 10 years ago...

857p... Zeta-Jones... a member of the "Angelina Jolie Chicks That I'm Supposed to Find Hot But Don't" Club...

858p... Jennifer Hudson is singing "And I Am Telling You That I Am Not Going", from DreamGirls... notably, the song that probably won her the Best Supporting Actress Oscar.  American Idol, anyone?

9p... Holy schmoly crap.  Jennifer Hudson just smacked that song around and said "I'm your mama, now shut up".  That was freakin' awesome.

9p... The Lovely Steph Leann just perked up as Colin Firth Member Hugh Jackman came on stage, singing. 

The Colin Firth Club:  Those that The Lovely Steph Leann would consider leaving me for... see:  Downey Jr, Robert... Whitford, Bradley... Firth, Colin... Bon Jovi, Jon

903p... The cast of Les Mis comes out to sing "One Day More'... including Russell Crowe. 

I imagine this conversation a month ago:

Agent:  Russ, you have to sing again
Russell Crowe:  What?  What do you mean? 
Agent:  In your contract
Russell:  People made fun of me singing!!
Agent:  Its in your contract, Russ
Russell:  #*&&#  (throws phone)

908p... Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana, from Star Trek, and according to Seth, "Future Priceline.com spokespeople" are out... discussing the Tech Awards.

910p... Mark Wahlberg... and Ted, from the movie "Ted"... I haven't seen it.. sheepishly, I want to.

911p... Sound Mixing... I chose The Life of Pi.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Wrong.  Les Mis.  Its the live singing." 

912p... And its Les Mis.  "I told you!  Live singing!  Live singing, baby!"

914p... Two presenters... one is funny and animated and fake... the other is Ted, the teddy bear.  Oh!

915p... Sound Editing... I picked Zero Dark Thirty.  THERE IS A TIE?!?!

916p... Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty pick up the Oscars... a Tie!?!

915p... Like, two Oscars?  A Tie?  Couldn't they do a run-off?  Or a vote tonight, with the audience, with just these two films in the running?

917p... Last tie?  Streisand and Hepburn in 1969 for Best Actress, for (I think) Funny Girl and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, respectively...

(screaming kid... not at The Oscars, but at my house...)

922p... Seth is making some Sound of Music references... but we have a screaming kid.  Kinda killing the joke for me.  Darn you, Campbell Isaiah.

922p... Christopher Plummer comes out to present the award for Best Supporting Actress... he won Best Supporting Actor last year for the family comedy "I'm Old and Gay", or something like that. 

925p... So, they gave out the award for Supporting Actress just now.. but we are 3 minutes behind.  Campbell is just going bonkers. 

925p... Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, is nominated... I love her.  I really do.  She'll win hers one day, a la Kate Winslet.

925p... And the award goes to... Anne Hathaway.  The award should actually go to whoever said "Hey, let's just keep the camera on her for one, long single shot..."

I dreamed a dream that theeeeey... would stop talking about... my haaair...

927p... PRINCESS MIA GOT AN OSCAR!!! SHUT!!! UP!!!

930p... Didn't notice it til just now... must be... well, cold in there. 

The summation of the last few minutes... Campbell Isaiah woke up, screaming... I had to run and get the cookies we were cooking out of the oven... then toss in his dinner... making peas... sweet potatoes... plums... and a bottle of prune juice/water... some older dude is speaking about student films... and... we're about 10 minutes behind.  Sigh.

I love my kid.  But we are only having one.  That's all I can deal with.  Sigh.

944p... Sandra Bullock is onstage... Best Film Editing is the award she's giving out... William Goldenberg for "Argo"...

946p... 13 awards given, I've gotten 7 right.  This night is a disaster.

947p... Jennifer Lawerence is exquisite.  Not sure I have any other words for it...

948p... Adele is singing "Skyfall"... its nominated for Best Original Song... I chose "Pi's Lullaby" as the winner of that category, and this is what I regret the most--I should have gone "Skyfall". 

949p... Adele is 24 years old.  I cannot tell you what a bumbling no-direction hunk o'junk I was at 24.  Or 34.  Or now, actually.

Commercial Break

950p... Nicole Kidman comes out to present the final three Best Picture Nominees... "Silver Linings Playbook"... "Django Unchained"... and "Amour"

953p... Harry Potter and Bella from Twilight are onstage together.   Kristen Stewart looks miserable, all the time.  All.  The.  Time.

955p... Daniel Radcliffe, they are called tweezers.

956p... Seth calls out Salma Hayek... I think her neck has been lengthened by 8 inches due to that dress.  Like, her dress is a volcano, and her face erupted.

959p... I think Salma was honoring those who won special awards.  Then again, she could have been telling me a great recipe for Guadalajara bacon crispers, and I wouldn't know it.

Commercial Break

1001p... And here comes George Clooney. 

1001p... The In Memorium segment... and Campbell quiets down.  He knows how to respect Michael Clark Duncan and Ernest Borgnine.  Re-cah-nize.

1003p... Adam Yauch from The Beastie Boys gets a nod.  As does one half of the Sherman Brothers. 

1004p... Barbra Streisand.  Blech.

1006p... She is honoring the late composer Marvin Hamlisch.  If I were Marvin, I'd be rolling in my grave.  Any a'yall play Barbra at my funeral, and I'm coming back to knock some teeth out.

1007p... This exchange:
Me:  Since we are still a few minutes behind, we can definitely fast forward this
The Lovely Steph Leann (dirty look)

1009p... Seth MacFarlane comes back out, Campbell cries.  Maybe he just doesn't like Family Guy like I hoped he would.

1010p... The cast of "Chicago" comes out--Gere, Latifah, Zeta-Jones and Jewel!

1010p... Renee Zellweger looks like she's perpetually trying to hide pain. 

1011p... And the winner for Best Score is... The Life of Pi...

1012p... I was secretly hoping John Williams would win for "Lincoln" so the Jaws theme could play him off stage.

1013p... Queen Latifah tells us the Best Song category is up now...

1014p... Why didn't someone tell me "Chasing Ice" was about our melting glaciers and how American Republicans are destroying the Earth?   And whats more, why isn't that winning everything?

1017p... So now, the award goes to "Skyfall" from "Skyfall", sung by Adele.  The first Academy Award to go to a Bond film. 

1019p... "Gotta fank the acahdummy..."

Commercial Break (and finally back on live TV!)

1022p... Charlize Theron comes out with Dustin Hoffman...

1022p... This probably happened:

Charlize:  So, cut my hair like Anne's in that Les Mis movie
Stylist:  Before the cut or after?
Charlize:  After

1023p... And its time for the Final Six--Picture, Director, Acting and Writing...

1024p... For Adapted Screenplay... the winner is Argo.  I'm a little shocked that Beasts didnt get it. 

1026p... For Original Screenplay... the winner is Django Unchained.  That's fantastic.  No, seriously... that's awesome. 

1028p... The Oscars are only 2 minutes from ending!  Or supposedly ending.  Looks like it might not end on time.  But it will probably end before next year's start.

Commercial Break

1032p... Seth introduces Hollywood Legends, Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas--who starred together in The China Syndrome... not a bad movie. 

1033p... Best Director Award.  And its...

1034p... ANG LEE for Life of Pi.  What the what?

1034p... They should give him 3.14 minutes to accept the award.

1035p... Campbell is crying again.  He must have known Ang was the same dude who not only directed "Brokeback Mountain", but also "Hulk".

Commercial Break

1040p... Jean Deajunana (sp?) from The Artist is out to give the Best Actress Award... camera cuts to Kristen Stewart, who looks unhappy and unimpressed--meaning, her usual self.

1042p... Great goodness... please don't let Quivenzhannena win this.  Not because I dislike her, but because Beasts of the Southern Wild is NOT A GOOD MOVIE

Whoops

1043p... Jennifer Lawrence wins for "Silver Linings Playbook"!!!  And she trips on the way up...

1044p... Hugh Jackman rushes to help her.  The Lovely Steph Leann:  He's so gallant.  Happy sigh.

1045p... So Katniss can shoot a precise arrow, but can't climb a staircase? 

1045p... Seth just says "Our next presenter needs no introduction", and drops mic and walks off.  That was a great move

1046p... Everyone all together:

Daniel

Day

Lewis

For Lincoln

That was easy.

1046p... During the nomination readings, The Lovely Steph Leann sighed, "Oh... Hugh Jackman was so awesome... so... so awesome..."

1048p... Out of all the "Flight" clips, they show the one from the end?  That's like showing a Bruce Willis clip from "The Sixth Sense" when he realizes he's dead... geez.

1049p... Watch closely.  Meryl Streep doesn't even open the envelope. No joke.

1050p... "Before Lincoln, I was committed to playing Margaret Thatcher... and Meryl was scheduled to play Lincoln..."  The delivery is fantastic.

1051p... Daniel Day-Lewis has reached Spielberg & Streep status... that is, "Don't dare play them offstage..."

1052p... Seth introduces Jack Nicholson to present Best Picture. 

1053p... And Jack sends it up to... Michelle Obama at the White House?  What is the point of...?  What?

1054p... So, Michelle just talks about movies, and then asks Jack to do the nominees?  Seriously?  That was pointless.

1055p... If Les Mis wins this, The Lovely Steph Leann's head might explode with Hugh Jackman glee

1055p... And Michelle Obama opens the envelope, and its.. Argo!

1058p... So three producers--Affleck, Clooney and Some Guy... and since Ben didn't get a directing nomination (for which Ang Lee is thankful), you'd think Some Guy would let him talk... and finally, Some Guy lets Ben talk.

1059p... Argo is a great, great film. 

11p... If directly following Gigli, you knew an Affleck film would win Best Picture, raise your hand... (crickets chirping)

1104p... Kristen Chenoweth and Seth MacFarlane sing us off into the night, nodding to the losers of the evening... and thats our 2013 Academy Awards... thanks for reading!

1105p:  Argo to bed now...

Seth is being brutalized by the press for a terrible Oscar hosting job.. first, I think he did pretty good.  Secondly, I know
even know who would do a good job... even Billy Crystal's return was met with bad reviews.  And, I do love Kristen
Chenoweth, all 4ft 9 inches of her.

The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... #70 to 61

The Coolest Things of 2010, 100 to 91
The Coolest Things of 2010, 90 to 81
The Coolest Things of 2010, 80 to 71

70... Facebook DeFriended
Sometimes, you just want to be narcissistic.  Sometimes you get on Facebook and you notice that you have 2 less friends than you had yesterday.  And then, another day later, you gain a friend.  Could it be that people have dropped you?  Could it be that people deleted their account, then recovered their accounts?  If you delete your account, can you recover that account again? 

Either way, Facebook Defriended will take care of your narcissistic needs.  Buy the app for a buck, and you can hook it up to your account.  Then go into Facebook Defriended, and it will tell you your friend list activity over the last few days... who dropped you, who added you and so on. 

Why do I need this?  I don't.  Its a ridiculous app meant to only feed my ego and fuel my wonder of why someone would drop someone as awesome as I am (I say that with a smile and a wink), but still, I check it a couple of times per week.  Because I'm me. 

69... "Love the Way You Lie"
Overall, I'm not a fan of Eminem.  I respect what he does, and his mastery of wordplay and how he sings/raps, because if you just listen to how he does what he does, he's amazing.  What he actually says, however, is quite alarming and discouraging, because he has a ton of pent up anger and aggression in his lyrics, many times towards his own ex-wife.

Sometimes, though, he does get one out there that really makes me smile, one that I really enjoy.  "Without Me" was one a decade ago, while "Lose Yourself" is one that everyone likes.  And in 2010, a collaboration with Rhianna led to "Love the Way You Lie", which has this infectious, memorable opening riff--"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn... that's alright... I like the way it hurts..."

And the video, starring Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan (Charlie from LOST), is just awesome.

Note... Eminem is not a clean guy, so please don't take this as an endorsement of his music.  As in, if you go and download this song, at least the explicit version, and are offended by the language, then don't blame me.  Listen at your own risk.  The album version of this song is not Emmy Turnbow Safe. 

68... Danno Gets a Reboot
I was never a fan of "Hawaii Five-O" in its original inception, not because it wasn't a good show, but because when it when it came on in 1968, I was a few years away from life.  When it ended in 1980, I was five.  When I saw re-runs in syndication, I barely remembered it.

So, when CBS decided to reboot the television show for the 2010-2011 television season, I had low expectations for the show.  Truth in advertising, I have low expectations for many shows when they premiere, because networks now rarely give most shows a chance to catch on... both Seinfeld and Cheers were low rated when they first appeared, but after catching on, they were awarded further seasons, and both went on to become television classics. 

The Lovely Steph Leann and I chose three shows to watch this time around, trying to watch them week by week via DVR, and those would be "No Ordinary Family", "The Event" and "Hawaii Five-O".  All three shows were good, but to me, "Hawaii Five-O" was exceptional.  It was funny, it was well written, and the cast is well placed.  Alex O'Loughlin and Scott Caan lead, with Daniel Dae Kim (Jin from LOST, and its hard to see him as anything beyond that) and Grace Park, and it also stars, of course, the Hawaiian coast line, the volcanoes and the culture.

Well, we stopped watching all three show on DVR, just because we got too far behind... and I'm quite alright with that for now, because "The Event" and "No Ordinary Family" are gone.  The former is in EW's "Danger Zone" and the latter is just scrubbed (which is sad, because it was also a good show).  However, "Hawaii Five-O" made the cut... and we'll put it in a category with "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" and "Grey's Anatomy"... watch it on DVD and get through a season in a few days.

67... The Fury Goes Crazy
Anyone who reads this blog for longer than a few days will know I'm a big Stephen King fan.  And in the early 80s, there was a "Quad-fecta" of novels that I really, really enjoy.  "Firestarter", "Cujo", "Pet Semetary" and "Christine", about a car, a '58 Plymouth Fury with a mind of its own, and evil side, one that cannot be stopped and is raging with jealousy and anger.

Arnie Cunningham is a loser in high school, best friends with Dennis, who happens to be kinda cool, and important enough at school to keep Arnie from getting beat up daily.  This, however, begins to change when Arnie "meets" Christine, a rusty old 1958 red and white Plymouth Fury sitting in a junk yard.  The car has many secrets, a horrible, evil past and slowly begins to change Arnie's life--for the worse, especially when Leigh Cabot, this beautiful chick who moves into town, goes out with him... enraging the car.  Yep, I said that and meant it. 

The book is a quick read, its well written and though not overly frightening, has its creepy moments.  I do remember when I was a kid, having just seen the movie when it premiered on network television, walking home from a football game (we lived two blocks from the high school) and being creeped out at 10 at night because some old truck was sitting on the side of the road, staring at me.  I kept waiting for the headlights to pop on. 

Good book.

66... We Figure Out The Tip
I've got over 140 apps on my iPhone, with games and weather and news and email and interweb capabilities and so on, but one of my favorites, one of most useful apps I have ever purchased is one called "The Tipulator".

Its quite simple.  You type in the amount of your bill, say $32.89.  It will automatically tell you your tip amount, then give you a total.  If you have good service, and want to leave 15%, then it will tell you that you should leave $4.93, and you should pay $37.82.   They give really good service?  You can adjust your percentage from 15% all the way up to 50% (which must be incredible service).  If you wanted to leave 18%, then The Handy Dandy Tipulator will tell you your tip is $5.92.  Poor service, but you still want to leave a tip?  You can knock it down to 13%, which is $4.60.  Or 1%, which is 33 cents.

Other settings include the ability to round your tip up or down to the nearest dollar, or your total amount to the nearest dollar, you can split the check from 2 people to 50.   I have mine set to round the total amount to the nearest dollar, with the tip set at 15% or more.   The price is a mere 99 cents, and I would definitely recommend it if you ever eat out. 

65... Denzel Carries The Word
When movies come out in January, they are usually considered "throw away movies", that is, movies that are dumped into the post-holiday season when most people aren't going to the theaters because they spent too much money during the Christmas season.

But every now and then, they dump a movie into January that turns out to be darn good.  I give you "The Book of Eli".  Denzel is the title character, wandering on a mission through a post-apocalyptic United States carrying what, at that time, is a very valuable and rare artifact--a King James Bible.

This is part of my review on the film:

We see right away that Eli is not a guy to be messed with... he's got somewhere to be, and he's headed that way. And when people try to stop him, he stops them from trying to stop him in the most convincing "don't bother me" way possible. Trouble comes when he drifts through a town and its discovered by the town's "ruler", Carnagie (played by Gary Oldman, who excels in this type of role), that Eli is carrying with him last copy of the Bible.


The film is bleak in color, as many of the movies with this setting are, and language pervades throughout. The sexual moments are very few, with only a couple of allusions to it, mostly within the context of the town's danger. Violence is also heavy in this film, so expect lots of knives and gunshots and big armored vehicles. All that is to say that this movie is NOT for kids. I dare say its not Emmy Turnbow safe, but at the same time, I think Emmy Turnbow would like this movie--at least, an edited version that might come on the USA Network in June of 2012 or something.

Written on June 6th, you can read the full review here.

64... Norah Gets a Duet
Norah Jones is only for certain tastes, because the argument is that "all her stuff sounds alike"... and yeah, thats kinda true.  But if you like that sound, you'll love this album.  In her career, she's done several solo albums and has also done lots of work as a part of other bands like The Little Willies, or projects with other artists, like Ryan Adams or Willie Nelson. 

Released in November of 2010, "...Featuring" is a compilation CD of Norah Jones and.  Norah Jones and... the Foo Fighters.  Norah Jones and... Ray Charles.  Herbie Hancock.  Q-Tip from a Tribe Called ?uest.  And several, several others.

My favorite tracks on the CD are a cover of "More Than This" with Charlie Hunter, a cover of the 80s rock song, and a "Take Off Your Cool" with OutKast, as featured on the OutKast album "The Speakerboxxx/The Love Below". 

And if you think I wanted to mention OutKast's album "The Speakerboxxx/The Love Below" because I wanted to seem a slight bit cooler, then... you may be right.

63... Bruno Loves His Woman
Bruno Mars has had quiet a year... among many of the hits he's helped pen, Cee Lo's "Forget You" was a massive hit, as was Flo Rida's "Right Round", and had a couple of hits of his own, including "Grenade" and my 63rd Coolest Thing of 2010, "Just the Way You Are". 

Its a fun little song about loving a woman just... well, just like she is.  She's perfect.  He tells her that, "when I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change, cause you're amazing, just the way you are."

And in interviews, I liked the idea that he doesn't try to go too deep, he just simply says, "I'm a big fan of songs like Joe Cocker's 'You Are So Beautiful' and Eric Clapton's 'Wonderful Tonight' - songs that go straight to the point. You know, there's no mind-boggling lyrics or twists in the story - they just come directly from the heart. And to me 'Just The Way You Are' is one of those songs. There's nothing mind-blowing about it. I'm just telling a woman she looks beautiful the way she IS - and, let's be honest, what woman doesn't wanna hear those lyrics?"

62... The Candlelight Processional
One of our several trips to Walt Disney World found us there in December, actually getting a chance to spend a little time with one of my best friends, Melanie, and her family, that being Chris Z (the hubs), and the kids, Special K, Jay Z and The Zach Attack.  And because it was Christmas time, The Lovely Steph Leann was very adamant that we see The Candlelight Processional.

What is it?  Well, at Epcot, its a special Christmas presentation featuring a choir, awesome Christmas music and a reading of the Christmas story--yes, the one from The Bible--by a celebrity.  The small amphitheater, near the American Pavilion, was decorated beautifully, with bright reds and greens all around, and at least a hundred poinsettias adorning the stage and spaces between choirs.

The choir itself consists of mostly Cast Members who auditioned, and
local talents, as well as the orchestra

The Lovely Steph Leann saw The Candlelight Processional in 2009, and just missed Steven Curtis Chapman and ended up witn Anika Noni Rose, voice of Tiana from "The Princess & the Frog"... and this year?  We still missed Steven Curtis Chapman.  He was reading later in the month, but our reader was none other than Ariel herself, Jodi Benson, who I believe is a Christ Follower.

After the choirs filed in, they sang a few Christmas hymns, then Jodi took the stage.  Over the next thirty minutes, music was interspersed with reading from Matthew, and at the end, she spoke briefly on the birth and eventual death of Christ.  And yes, this was all at Walt Disney World, a magical place, but still quiet secular.

Jodi Benson reads the Christmas Story.  We almost had Susan Lucci,
but they moved her around and gave us Jodi, and I was cool with that.

61... "Kick-A**"
Here's what I had to say in June of 2006:

Okay... so, for every reason I shouldn't, I thought this movie was hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Its title that I feel very uncomfortable saying (and don’t, especially on a website that I like to keep PG), its got the same language you’d find in equally as funny movies like “Superbad”, its got comic-book style violence that still produces blood spatter like crazy, and it’s got a bunch of teenagers trying to get some. There is no redeeming quality to this movie.

Let's be clear here... this movie is NOT for children.  As a Christ-Follower, this movie is a prime example of the topic of "what do you place in front of your eyes?", which is another conversation for another day.  I've tried to give you the rundown on the film as best I can, so now its up to you as to whether to see it.  Cindy Jo is probably not going to see this film.  Hurricane Rhett might go out tonight and catch it.

Read the whole post, including the full review, by clicking here.

Coming up... A great indictment of the NCAA Postseason (what?)... keeping my head and hands warm... and later, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife