movies of 2013... almost the best

So, there's the worst movies of the year... then there are the movies that were somewhere in the middle... now, in what's becoming a four part 2013 movie reflection (ReFlicktion?!), here are the movies that were good.. maybe really good... but just noooooot quite good enough to break my Top 10 of 2013...

And this is in no particular order...

This is the End (2013)... Raunchy yet hilarious, the ensemble cast of Seth Rogan, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson and Jay Barachel--if you don't know all of the names, if you saw the faces, you'd recognize them from "that movie..." Kudos to Michael Cera and Emma Watson for two unbelievably hysterical cameos.

Now You See Me (2013)... Really clever premise with Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco (James' little brother) as magicians hired to perform a few heists. Becomes a bit too unbelievable towards the end, but a strong cast includes Mark Ruffalo and Morgan Freeman.

We're the Millers (2013)... Jason Sudeikis is a small time weed dealer who is stuck owing lots of money to corporate suit Ed Helms, and agrees to smuggle a huge amount of weed from Mexico to the US, and hires on a "family" to make it look more legit. Its really funny is a wrong, Hangover sort of way, but one main reason to see this film is to really see how good of an actress Jennifer Aniston has become.

Iron Man 3 (2013)... Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) is having an identity crisis, at the same time another global madman (this time portrayed by Ben Kingsley) is set on world destruction. A solid, fun twist in the middle gives this film some real life, as does an excellent turn by Kingsley as The Manderin. Gwyneth Paltrow and Don Cheadle are also very likable, and Guy Pearce is a good bad guy too.

 

Melanie playing a chick who is just losing at life

Hello, I Must Be Going (2013)...  I do love movies with a little quirk to them... add to the fact I'm a fan of Melanie Lynskey, and you have this movie.  She's a character actress who you would know from "Up in the Air" as George Clooney's sister, or Reese Witherspoon's hometown BFF in "Sweet Home Alabama" (she's the one with the "baby... in a bar..").  Anyway, she's a 30 something woman who is divorced, at her parents house, life going nowhere, and she develops a crush on a much, much younger dude.  Its a sweet story, I promise.

Seven Psychopaths (2012)... An all awesome, all star cast with Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Tom Waits and Colin Farrell in the lead tells this hilarious, violent tale of mobsters, gangsters, a screenwriter at the wrong place at the wrong time, and a kidnapped Shit Tzu.  I laughed alot, and enjoyed it throughout. 

The Longest Yard (1974)... Lest you think this is the tripe from a few years back with Adam Sandler, I say nay.  Oh, nay nay.  This is the 70s original, with Burt Reynolds, teaming up with some rough prisoners to form a football squad to take on the prison guards with a sadistic warden, played to the hilt by Eddie Albert.  I actually haven't seen the updated version, so I don't know how it compares, but I really liked this one.

The Magnificent Seven (1960)... Based on the Japanese masterpiece "The Seven Samarai", this one takes the story to the old west, where a poor Mexican village hires Yul Brenner to help defend them from a jerkface (Eli Wallach) who comes in to steal, pillage and plunder several times per year.  The cast is strong, with Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, James Coburn and Robert Vaughn making up some of the Seven, and many scenes mirror the Japanese original exactly, sometimes word for word.  Great story, though a little long.

Seven Samurai (1960)... Speaking of which, I watched this one right before the Seven above, and I'm glad I did.  Though I don't usually get too enthralled with any movie featuring subtitles, I did like this alot. I can see the influence of this film on modern directors, especially Tarantino.  It is one that I probably won't watch again, but as a moviephile, am very, very glad I watched this time. 

Cabin in the Woods (2012)... From my review: "If you like suspense and scary type of films, but want something different, then check this flick out. There is a needless boobie scene in the middle, and lots of language... plus slasher violence, so get ready for that."  I thought it was creative, and the Bradley Whitford/JK Simmons scenes are funny and out of nowhere.



For me, its Amy Adams.  For all y'all, its Timberlake. Everyone wins.

Premium Rush (2012)... Perhaps the greatest bike messenger movie of all time... from my review... Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fun, Michael Shannon is a perfect creep, and the supporting cast is likable enough to keep the film going. Again, the plot is a bit far fetched, especially when you actually learn the contents of the bag, but still... check it out. PG-13 for language."

Trouble with the Curve (2012)... From my review: "It's pretty good. Slow at times, but the story in engaging, and having a grizzly Clint Eastwood, a really good Timberlake and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, on screen doesn't hurt."

Dredd (2012)... Great action flick. A billion times better than that Sly Stallone crap from the 90s. Violent, language, but well shot and lots of fun.  Its cool watching someone as lovely as Lena Headley play the villian, and I love the fact that Dredd never takes off his mask.  (I'm not alone in this either... its got a 7.1 on IMDb, while the Sly version is only at 5.3)

Here Comes the Boom (2012)... From my review... "DO watch this movie. Seriously. This movie is fantastic. Well, I say that being a Kevin James fan... yes, he's kinda dopey, and yes, his movies won't win any awards ("Zookeeper"? Its awful. But awesome. And I love it), but this is a delightfully fun story." (by the way, I still mean what I wrote then)

Blackfish (2012)... So, CNN picked up and showed this documentary essentially excoriating Sea World and their practices of animal captivity.  The main focus is on a killer whale named Tillicum, who was directly involved with the deaths of at least two trainers while in a show... its fascinating, its enthralling, and its almost upsetting, especially when former Sea World workers are on camera blasting the park and how it does business...

This movie would have made my Top Ten, except, like many documentaries, its stylish and well done, but much of it may or may not be exaggerated... or even false.  Many of the trainers that spoke up have come forward to say they were misrepresented (though when someone says something like "The way Sea World treats these animals is just criminal... if I had known it would be like this, I would have never gone to work there", I'm not sure how that's said misrepresented), so the truth lies somewhere in the middle.  I encourage all to watch it--but take it with a grain of salt.

So there we go... that's Part 3 of 2013 movie... coming up, finally... my favorite movies of 2013.  And because I'm awesome and so generous, you won't get a Top Ten... you will get TWO Top Tens... My 10 favorite films of 2013 that I saw in 2013... and my 10 favorite films that came out before 2013 that I saw in 2013... wait, did that make sense? 

(12,436 words written, 7564 words to go in #500Words Challenge / #20KWordsInJanuary)

the 2013 oscar blog

(scroll down for updates)

7:25... Here we are... the first blog of February, and its the Academy Awards... I love the Oscars, because I love movies, so once again, I'm excited to be watching it...

...And unlike the Golden Globes, its not a monsoon outside, which means the chances of satellite going out are slim to none. 

Me: The Lovely Steph Leann, what are you wearing?
The Lovely Steph Leann (blank stare)

Five minutes to GO!!!

728... I kinda feel like "Splash", aka "Celebrity Diving", is on the air because there was a bit too much vodka in the planning meeting...

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (is it Joseph-Gordon Levitt?) (l) and Harry Potter (r)
join Seth MacFarlane for a soft shoe dance as part of his opening monologue

730... And we begin.  Seth MacFarlane begins with a shout out to Tommy Lee Jones' grumbling... who ends up chuckling.

731p... Seth tells us that this years theme is celebrating music in film. Something tells me Annie 2 won't be mentioned.

732p... The obligatory "Win an Oscar, disappear from the industry" joke...

734p... Seth is trying, and mostly succeeding... you can tell he's testing his waters, getting a "oooh" from a Chris Brown & Rihanna joke.

735p... SHATNER!!!  SHATNER!!! SHATNER!!!

738p... What the... what is happening?  Boobs? 

739p... I'll admit it... "We Saw Your Boobs".. funny.  Really funny. 

739p... I just typed "We Saw your Boobs" for the first time in the history of this blog.  Ever.

741p... Another first.  "A Denzel Movie with Sock Puppets" (left)

742p... This is the best Oscar show in years. 

744p... Seth looks like a walking Easter Seal symbol... or a gay pope. 

745p... A real "Smokey and the Bandit" reference... in the Oscar monologue.  The first time Oscars and Smokey & the Bandit have ever been used together.

747p... Let's get to some awards!! 

748p... Octavia Spencer won last year for "The Help" for Best Supporting Actress... and she is out to give Best Supporting Actor to either Alan Arkin (Argo)... Bobby DeNiro (Silver Linings Playbook)... Phil Hoffman (The Master)... Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln) and Chris Waltz (Django Unchained)...

My pick?  Tommy Lee Jones. 

Last year I did horribly at the Oscar picks...  this time?  Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained.... wow.  Wow.  He has now TWO Oscars for Tarantino Films.

This is good, though... Tommy Lee Jones didn't win, so he got the smiling out of the way.  No more grins for the rest of the evening.

752p... So... as he walks off, they play the theme from ET:  The Extra Terrestrial.  What the what??

Commercial Break

755p... Paul Rudd!  I love Paul Rudd!!  Even though he was in "My Idiot Brother", which is terrible.  Melissa McCarthy looks like a beluga whale in her grey dress, and her too-much-blush-cheeks.

756p... Paul Rudd looks like he stepped out of a 1977 Scorsese film

757p... Paul and Melissa pick up the Best Animated Short for "Paperman", a delightful little movie... I go 1-1 so far.

759p... The popular choice is "Brave" for Best Animated Film because its Pixar... but I went with Wreck-It-Ralph.  "Brave" wins.

Here's my original review of "Brave"

8p... Reese Witherspoon. 

Wow. 

Wow.

That is all.

801p... Because there are 114 films nominated for Best Picture, they are doing away with the "Famous Actor Introducing One Nominted Film" thing, having Reese present "Les Miserables", "The Life of Pi" and "Beasts of the Southern Wild".

804p... Quavenzene Wallace, nominated for Beasts of the Southern Wild, looks up as Seth MacFarlane gives her a shout out.

Quavenzene:  Why is that white man saying my name?

805p... Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye and Nick Fury come out to banter and do Cinematography...

806p... SAMUEL L. JACKSON'S JACKET--FOR THE WIN

807p... I chose Life of Pi... and it wins.  Life of Pi will rack up several of these lesser awards tonight, I predict.

809p... I think Lucius Malfoy is giving an Oscar speech

810p... Visual Effects... I again chose Life of Pi... I love being right.

811p... So the "Get Done With Your Speech Music" is... Jaws?!  That's HILL-AIR-EEOUS

Commercial Break

816p... Seth introduces Channin Tatum and Jennifer Aniston, two people so beautiful that somehow, I almost think their kids would be butt-ugly.

817p... And the award for Costume Design goes to Anna Kareninninanninana... when do you stop the last name...?

819p... "Hairstyling" added to the "Makeup" category... and there is only three films nominated... I guess they would either have to add "Hairstyling", or "Les Miserables" would run unopposed...

820p... I wonder how much of Les Mis' win was for the butchering of Anne Hathaway's hair...

821p... Halle Berry out now.  Does it make me a bad person, or gay, if she doesn't appeal to me? 

822p... My buddy Mikey Nipp is peeing himself right about now... Bond Tribute time. 

We are treated to an extended Bond Tribute, full of clips and snips from all 23 James Bond movies.  I'm just not a huge fan.  I mean, I liked a few here and there, but none are considered "favorites" of any kind. 

826p... I think I'm too young to appreciate Shirley Bassey... and probably 1/3 of the crowd is clapping because they don't want to be on camera not clapping. 

Commercial Break

830p... I know Connery is retired, and maybe Daniel Craig is too busy... but Dalton, Lazenby, Moore and probably Brosnan were free, I'm sure.  They couldn't have been recruited for that video montage? 

831p... Kerry Washington and Jamie Foxx, stars of Django Unchained, come out, looking almost as beautiful, though not quite, as Channing and Jen earlier.

832p... K-Wash and J-Foxx are here to give us the Best Live Action Short Film winner... I chose Buzkashi Boys, a shot in the dark.  I feel like Oscar ballots should give you a five or six word description about these short films... "Curfew" wins.  Whatever that is.

835p... Winners are now talking fast, in fear of the "Jaws" music..

835p... Best Documentary Short.  The Oscar goes to Inocente... I picked Redemption.  Again, who knows?! 

837p... Seth MacFarlane is back up now, introducing Liam Neeson, the original Darkman. 

837p... Liam has a very special set of skills

838p... "Argo"... "Lincoln"... "Zero Dark Thirty"... the films that Liam is introducing.

FYI.... Here's my review of "Argo"

841p... Seth tells us the other actors who played Lincoln... and said "the actor who really got into Lincoln's head is John Wilkes Booth... too soon?"

842p... Ben Affleck comes out to present the Documentary Feature...

843p... Not gonna lie... I liked Reindeer Games.  Its a big more watchable than Good Will Hunting.

844p... Searching for Sugarman takes the Oscar.

Commercial Break

849p... Jennifer Garner... gorgeous or hideous?  I just cannot tell.  I don't know the answer.  I struggle with it.

849p... Jessica Chastain?  Elegant.  Not gorgeous, but elegant. 

850p... Best Foreign Film.  Not sure how "Amour" can be nominated for Best Picture and NOT win this award.  Aaaaand... I'm right.

852p... Christoph + this guy for Amour = 2 Austrian Oscar Wins! 

852p... Seth tells us about the Oscar Orchestra... who are performing down the street for the show! 

852p... John Travolta comes out... I mean, onstage, not out-out...

853p... Travolta has a harder time saying "Miserables" than I do.  I didn't add the "s" on the end, he added four more syllables. 

855p... Catherine Zeta-Jones, singing a song from "Chicago"... and not sounding nearly as good as she did in "Chicago" 10 years ago...

857p... Zeta-Jones... a member of the "Angelina Jolie Chicks That I'm Supposed to Find Hot But Don't" Club...

858p... Jennifer Hudson is singing "And I Am Telling You That I Am Not Going", from DreamGirls... notably, the song that probably won her the Best Supporting Actress Oscar.  American Idol, anyone?

9p... Holy schmoly crap.  Jennifer Hudson just smacked that song around and said "I'm your mama, now shut up".  That was freakin' awesome.

9p... The Lovely Steph Leann just perked up as Colin Firth Member Hugh Jackman came on stage, singing. 

The Colin Firth Club:  Those that The Lovely Steph Leann would consider leaving me for... see:  Downey Jr, Robert... Whitford, Bradley... Firth, Colin... Bon Jovi, Jon

903p... The cast of Les Mis comes out to sing "One Day More'... including Russell Crowe. 

I imagine this conversation a month ago:

Agent:  Russ, you have to sing again
Russell Crowe:  What?  What do you mean? 
Agent:  In your contract
Russell:  People made fun of me singing!!
Agent:  Its in your contract, Russ
Russell:  #*&&#  (throws phone)

908p... Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana, from Star Trek, and according to Seth, "Future Priceline.com spokespeople" are out... discussing the Tech Awards.

910p... Mark Wahlberg... and Ted, from the movie "Ted"... I haven't seen it.. sheepishly, I want to.

911p... Sound Mixing... I chose The Life of Pi.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Wrong.  Les Mis.  Its the live singing." 

912p... And its Les Mis.  "I told you!  Live singing!  Live singing, baby!"

914p... Two presenters... one is funny and animated and fake... the other is Ted, the teddy bear.  Oh!

915p... Sound Editing... I picked Zero Dark Thirty.  THERE IS A TIE?!?!

916p... Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty pick up the Oscars... a Tie!?!

915p... Like, two Oscars?  A Tie?  Couldn't they do a run-off?  Or a vote tonight, with the audience, with just these two films in the running?

917p... Last tie?  Streisand and Hepburn in 1969 for Best Actress, for (I think) Funny Girl and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, respectively...

(screaming kid... not at The Oscars, but at my house...)

922p... Seth is making some Sound of Music references... but we have a screaming kid.  Kinda killing the joke for me.  Darn you, Campbell Isaiah.

922p... Christopher Plummer comes out to present the award for Best Supporting Actress... he won Best Supporting Actor last year for the family comedy "I'm Old and Gay", or something like that. 

925p... So, they gave out the award for Supporting Actress just now.. but we are 3 minutes behind.  Campbell is just going bonkers. 

925p... Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, is nominated... I love her.  I really do.  She'll win hers one day, a la Kate Winslet.

925p... And the award goes to... Anne Hathaway.  The award should actually go to whoever said "Hey, let's just keep the camera on her for one, long single shot..."

I dreamed a dream that theeeeey... would stop talking about... my haaair...

927p... PRINCESS MIA GOT AN OSCAR!!! SHUT!!! UP!!!

930p... Didn't notice it til just now... must be... well, cold in there. 

The summation of the last few minutes... Campbell Isaiah woke up, screaming... I had to run and get the cookies we were cooking out of the oven... then toss in his dinner... making peas... sweet potatoes... plums... and a bottle of prune juice/water... some older dude is speaking about student films... and... we're about 10 minutes behind.  Sigh.

I love my kid.  But we are only having one.  That's all I can deal with.  Sigh.

944p... Sandra Bullock is onstage... Best Film Editing is the award she's giving out... William Goldenberg for "Argo"...

946p... 13 awards given, I've gotten 7 right.  This night is a disaster.

947p... Jennifer Lawerence is exquisite.  Not sure I have any other words for it...

948p... Adele is singing "Skyfall"... its nominated for Best Original Song... I chose "Pi's Lullaby" as the winner of that category, and this is what I regret the most--I should have gone "Skyfall". 

949p... Adele is 24 years old.  I cannot tell you what a bumbling no-direction hunk o'junk I was at 24.  Or 34.  Or now, actually.

Commercial Break

950p... Nicole Kidman comes out to present the final three Best Picture Nominees... "Silver Linings Playbook"... "Django Unchained"... and "Amour"

953p... Harry Potter and Bella from Twilight are onstage together.   Kristen Stewart looks miserable, all the time.  All.  The.  Time.

955p... Daniel Radcliffe, they are called tweezers.

956p... Seth calls out Salma Hayek... I think her neck has been lengthened by 8 inches due to that dress.  Like, her dress is a volcano, and her face erupted.

959p... I think Salma was honoring those who won special awards.  Then again, she could have been telling me a great recipe for Guadalajara bacon crispers, and I wouldn't know it.

Commercial Break

1001p... And here comes George Clooney. 

1001p... The In Memorium segment... and Campbell quiets down.  He knows how to respect Michael Clark Duncan and Ernest Borgnine.  Re-cah-nize.

1003p... Adam Yauch from The Beastie Boys gets a nod.  As does one half of the Sherman Brothers. 

1004p... Barbra Streisand.  Blech.

1006p... She is honoring the late composer Marvin Hamlisch.  If I were Marvin, I'd be rolling in my grave.  Any a'yall play Barbra at my funeral, and I'm coming back to knock some teeth out.

1007p... This exchange:
Me:  Since we are still a few minutes behind, we can definitely fast forward this
The Lovely Steph Leann (dirty look)

1009p... Seth MacFarlane comes back out, Campbell cries.  Maybe he just doesn't like Family Guy like I hoped he would.

1010p... The cast of "Chicago" comes out--Gere, Latifah, Zeta-Jones and Jewel!

1010p... Renee Zellweger looks like she's perpetually trying to hide pain. 

1011p... And the winner for Best Score is... The Life of Pi...

1012p... I was secretly hoping John Williams would win for "Lincoln" so the Jaws theme could play him off stage.

1013p... Queen Latifah tells us the Best Song category is up now...

1014p... Why didn't someone tell me "Chasing Ice" was about our melting glaciers and how American Republicans are destroying the Earth?   And whats more, why isn't that winning everything?

1017p... So now, the award goes to "Skyfall" from "Skyfall", sung by Adele.  The first Academy Award to go to a Bond film. 

1019p... "Gotta fank the acahdummy..."

Commercial Break (and finally back on live TV!)

1022p... Charlize Theron comes out with Dustin Hoffman...

1022p... This probably happened:

Charlize:  So, cut my hair like Anne's in that Les Mis movie
Stylist:  Before the cut or after?
Charlize:  After

1023p... And its time for the Final Six--Picture, Director, Acting and Writing...

1024p... For Adapted Screenplay... the winner is Argo.  I'm a little shocked that Beasts didnt get it. 

1026p... For Original Screenplay... the winner is Django Unchained.  That's fantastic.  No, seriously... that's awesome. 

1028p... The Oscars are only 2 minutes from ending!  Or supposedly ending.  Looks like it might not end on time.  But it will probably end before next year's start.

Commercial Break

1032p... Seth introduces Hollywood Legends, Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas--who starred together in The China Syndrome... not a bad movie. 

1033p... Best Director Award.  And its...

1034p... ANG LEE for Life of Pi.  What the what?

1034p... They should give him 3.14 minutes to accept the award.

1035p... Campbell is crying again.  He must have known Ang was the same dude who not only directed "Brokeback Mountain", but also "Hulk".

Commercial Break

1040p... Jean Deajunana (sp?) from The Artist is out to give the Best Actress Award... camera cuts to Kristen Stewart, who looks unhappy and unimpressed--meaning, her usual self.

1042p... Great goodness... please don't let Quivenzhannena win this.  Not because I dislike her, but because Beasts of the Southern Wild is NOT A GOOD MOVIE

Whoops

1043p... Jennifer Lawrence wins for "Silver Linings Playbook"!!!  And she trips on the way up...

1044p... Hugh Jackman rushes to help her.  The Lovely Steph Leann:  He's so gallant.  Happy sigh.

1045p... So Katniss can shoot a precise arrow, but can't climb a staircase? 

1045p... Seth just says "Our next presenter needs no introduction", and drops mic and walks off.  That was a great move

1046p... Everyone all together:

Daniel

Day

Lewis

For Lincoln

That was easy.

1046p... During the nomination readings, The Lovely Steph Leann sighed, "Oh... Hugh Jackman was so awesome... so... so awesome..."

1048p... Out of all the "Flight" clips, they show the one from the end?  That's like showing a Bruce Willis clip from "The Sixth Sense" when he realizes he's dead... geez.

1049p... Watch closely.  Meryl Streep doesn't even open the envelope. No joke.

1050p... "Before Lincoln, I was committed to playing Margaret Thatcher... and Meryl was scheduled to play Lincoln..."  The delivery is fantastic.

1051p... Daniel Day-Lewis has reached Spielberg & Streep status... that is, "Don't dare play them offstage..."

1052p... Seth introduces Jack Nicholson to present Best Picture. 

1053p... And Jack sends it up to... Michelle Obama at the White House?  What is the point of...?  What?

1054p... So, Michelle just talks about movies, and then asks Jack to do the nominees?  Seriously?  That was pointless.

1055p... If Les Mis wins this, The Lovely Steph Leann's head might explode with Hugh Jackman glee

1055p... And Michelle Obama opens the envelope, and its.. Argo!

1058p... So three producers--Affleck, Clooney and Some Guy... and since Ben didn't get a directing nomination (for which Ang Lee is thankful), you'd think Some Guy would let him talk... and finally, Some Guy lets Ben talk.

1059p... Argo is a great, great film. 

11p... If directly following Gigli, you knew an Affleck film would win Best Picture, raise your hand... (crickets chirping)

1104p... Kristen Chenoweth and Seth MacFarlane sing us off into the night, nodding to the losers of the evening... and thats our 2013 Academy Awards... thanks for reading!

1105p:  Argo to bed now...

Seth is being brutalized by the press for a terrible Oscar hosting job.. first, I think he did pretty good.  Secondly, I know
even know who would do a good job... even Billy Crystal's return was met with bad reviews.  And, I do love Kristen
Chenoweth, all 4ft 9 inches of her.

The Idol that Saved Pittsburgh

First... shaaaaameless plug.  For those of you who don't know, I co-host a podcast with my buddy Mikey and produced by Tommy Mac, which is downloadable on iTunes, or from our website, The Deucecast (as the podcast is called). I only mention this because last night's show was pretty good, actually, including a heated debate not only on the serious subject of the American education system, but also on the serious subject of whether comedies deserve consideration in awards programs like The Academy Awards.   Click to the site to get the show, and give it a listen.  Mikey and I's nasally drone can wear thin, but we do what we can.


And as soon as I can figure it out, I'd like to some video podcasts on this here site too... and, a change in address is coming.  Great things are afoot at Clouds in My Coffee!  Oy!

Now... just saw a commercial on Fox for a show called "The Finder", with Michael Clarke Duncan.  Its an indication of how much network tv I've avoided when I tell you that I've never, ever even heard of this show.

Seacrusty is strolling along a suspension bridge, telling us its the first time the show has been in The City of Champions, that being Pittsburgh.  You ready?

THIS

IS

AMER

ICAN

IDOL!!!

As usual, the opening montage displays the past Idol winners, and some Idol success stories... thought I am a little surprised when Lee DeWyze shows up--I feel like he's to Idol what the Star Wars Christmas Special is to George Lucas... they just want to forget the whole thing and pretend it never happened.

Right off the bat, its a 22 year old Asian dude who tells the camera he's not sure if he's good enough, and he's not sure if he can be the next American Idol.  He says he likes to sing R&B, but is singing "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You" by Michael Bolton.  His name is Heejun Han, and holy crap... he's actually not bad.  Like, he's pretty good.  I'm a little shocked here, cause Idol usually sets these guys up to fail bigtime.  Wow.

He's better than some of the putzs we heard yesterday, and heck, I'd send him straight to Hollywood.  He's like, William Hung with talent!  Randy the Dawg loves him, Creepy Uncle Stevie says yes and J-Lo approves.

Speaking of Michael Bolton... I'm a fan.  There, I said it.  Okay, well, to be more specific, I'm a fan of 1988 through 1995 Michael Bolton.  Everything he's done from "Can I Touch You There" and on, I didn't like.  But his early solo stuff is fantastic.


I got $90 in iTunes money for Christmas, and this video was one of my first purchases.  


I actually started typing out some Mike Bolton stuff, but thought it would be better served as another post.  You know, so I can discuss in more length my favorite stuff.  Look for that in the next few days, all you Mike Bolton Fans--I'm talking to you, Brad Latta!

We are back from commercial, and the room is filled with those who are ready to sing for Randy the Dawg, J-Lo and Creepy Uncle Steven.  Up next is a dude who has been performing with his family for years.  Reed Grimm, 26, comes in and actually sings a jazzy version of... yes, the "Family Matters" theme song, complete with scatting.  I didn't just make that up.  And it was awesome.

Of course, all three YES votes send Reed to the Holly Wood!  Kinda reminds me of The Eliminated Casey Abrams.

Aaron Marcelles busts out some "Change is Gonna Come" and sounds awesome.  Chase Likens, 20, does some country and isn't as good as the three previous, but still, very good.  We see quick clips of people who have made it, including a spitting image of a 20 year old Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Two girls, one who is a self-proclaimed singer.  The other is a self-proclaimed "Planker"  Yes, she says that she is planking the other chick to Hollywood.  Which essentially means, she's lying very still and straight.  Thats it.  I dislike both of these girls immediately, one for daring to actually tell the nation she is a Planker, and the other for associating with such riff-raff.

I love the fact that as she is walking out with her Golden Ticket, Idol
plays Carrie Underwood's "Flat on the Floor"

They give her a whole segment, but all she's doing is LYING DOWN!!!  Dear goodness, I freaking plank every night for at least 4 hours.  Geez.

Samantha Novacek sings a little country, with her sister planking in front of her.  I'd give Samantha a Golden Ticket just for kicking her idiot sister in the stomach right now.  J-Lo loved the song.   Creepy Uncle Steven loved the tone, the voice, all that.  Randy the Dawg liked the vibe alot.  Sammy N gets a YES from all three.

Creepy Uncle Steven says what I--and hopefully you the viewer--had been thinking... "Did her sister really come out here to plank?"

So, I'm assuming the next audition will be terrible.  It has to be.  We've had a hot streak of several in a row that have been great.. surely they will give us something for fodder, something I can make total borderline inappropriate jokes about.

So this guy decided to write a song on the way to Idol from NYC... Creighton Fraker sings a little ditty about the judges, and has a really, really, reeeeeally annoying voice.  Like, really.  J-Lo says, "If Timberlake and Jamiroquai had a baby..."  That is a perfect analogy.

Creepy Uncle Steven praises him, then asks for another song.  The judges are lapping this up... but this guy... he's a diva.  He's going to Hollywood and will be a diva.  Maybe the Idol Producers know this will make for great drama, but I'm not a fan.   I put him with obnoxious Braided Hair Sista from Savannah's audition.

By the way, I really want to see Tom Hardy, Chris Pine and Reese Witherspoon in "Spy vs. Spy"... okay, correction, its called "This Means War".  I swear I thought this was called "Spy vs Spy"... anyway, it looks kinda fun.  And, despite my better judgement, I want to see "One for the Money" with Katherine Heigl.  I have not read the books, though they are on my list, and The Lovely Steph Leann is on book six or seven by now.  However, Katherine Heigl has burned me so many times on her movies... yet, I still want to see it. Darn you Heigl!  Darn you for taking my money on your promises of goodness and consistent deliveries of badness!


 Yes, it looks stupid.  But fun and stupid.

And we're back. Evan Franckewitz, 15, is our first Beiber of the year.  Coming from Ohio, we have a BACKSTORY ALERT!  Mom and Dad are so proud--they just said so.  Randy the Dawg says, "Who do people say you look like", and he says, "Justin Beiber".  Evan... excuse me, its EBEN (who does that to their kid?  the only way that name works is if your last name is "flow".  Seriously) is going to sing "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers, one of my top 30 favorite songs of all time.

First, its a respectable attempt.  Not great, but decent.  Secondly, this guy is far, far too white to sing this song.  That is a soul song, and this kid, talented as he may be, has no soul.  Of course, the judges give him a Golden Ticket.  And Idol plays Beiber music as he comes out of the audition room.  I predict he ends up crying at some point during Hollywood Week.

Travis Orlando is back!  He sang last year, didn't make it very far, and this year is here to sing "Isn't She Lovely".   No joke, I think this guy is pretty good.  Not incredible, but good.  And J-Lo is telling him that he's not getting all of his voice out?  Creepy Uncle Steven is saying he's not sure Travis is singing with passion?  Really?

BACKSTORY ALERT!!   Travis' mom walked out on the family for another man after he left Idol last year, then he got evicted, then his dad got sick and lost his job and they moved into a shelter.  Holy crap, really?  Perhaps whatshernuts has room in her tent in the woods.

And... THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO TRAVIS.  Original.

Randy the Dawg gives a hesitant YES, and so does J-Lo and Creepy Uncle Steven.  This guy sounded better than No Soul Beiber earlier, so I am not sure why the hesitation is there.

Of course, homeless high school drop out Travis is holding an iPhone--and thats at least a 4, if not a 4G, with a very nice case.  Hey Travis, thats my tax dollars at work.  Your welcome.

And we're back, with J-Lo running late, Creepy Uncle Steven and Randy the Dawg kick off Day Two in Pittsburgh with an impromptu jam session for the Idolites.

Up next, a "mobile DJ", who says she moves in and out of bars for a week or so performing, and she does wedding singing.  Erika Van Pelt, 25 , is singing "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow".  Okay, so there is a scene in "Spaceballs" where Lone Star (Bill Pullman) and Barf (John Candy) try to rescue Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga).  Before they open the door, however, they hear her inside singing "Nobody Knows the trouble I feel... nobody knows but Jesus..." in a very, very low voice.  Not quiet, but low in tone.  Barf turns to Lone Star and says, "She's a bass!"  That was the first thing that popped in my head when Erika Van Pelt starting singing... however... I like her.

She does sing a bit low, but sounds really good.  I can't decide if I think she's cute or way un-cute.  Its like a mild version of The McGriddle Effect.

She goes on to Hollywood!

Twenty minutes left in this show, and not a single rejection?  Whaaaa?

Oh, here we go... they show the faces and reactions of a few rejections, but mostly to highlight a sound-effect box that Creepy Uncle Steven has obtained.

Here comes Shane Bruce, 19, from West Virginia.  He's a coal miner.  That's miners, not minors.  And he's sporting no less than six earrings.  We see him entertaining the fellow miners with a version of "In the Still of the Night", and I know one of those guys is thinking "This is the pansiest thing I've ever heard.  Pick up a shovel, you wuss."

He's going to sing what he says is a song from "Shrek".  You know, "Shrek", that Hallelujah song that plays in there?  Of course, he speaks of the legendary Jeff Buckley tune "Hallelujah", featured in "Shrek", but also in a disturbing scene in "Watchmen" and has a ton of plays on my iPod, because its a feeeee-nominal song. Jason Castro also did an incredible, show stopping version of this some years ago.

 One of the best Idol performances ever.  Also, one of the most depressing songs ever.

Judging from Randy the Dawg's expression, Shane Bruce ain't cutting it.  J-Lo nervous bites a pen.  Creepy Uncle Steven stares blankly.  He takes the rejection well, though... they tell him to work on it, and come back and audition again.

And in a genuine awwww inducing moment, when he comes out, he looks on the verge of tears, and his mom hugs him and whispers, "You'll always be my Idol."  Wiping tears, he admits he didn't do as well as he wanted, but wanted to try again.  I hope this guy does come back.

Here's the montage of rejections, 53 minutes into the show.  Lots of tears, lots of  "I want this so bad", lots of "I will be back!".

Finally... the last segment of the night... BACKSTORY ALERT.

Hallie Day, 24, from Baltimore just got married six months ago.  She dropped out of high school at 13, moved to New York at 16, became an addict, and finally found her way home, even with no mom or dad around.  And after a suicide attempt with some pills, she hit rock bottom.  Finally, she met a dude who became her hubby, Ryan.

"He's loved me more than anyone else ever has," says Hallie.  That's a pretty good story--good job, Idol.  She has to be good, after all this.  She's singing "I Will Survive"... not my favorite voice of the night, but a darn sight better than some of the stuff they've sent to Hollywood already, so I'm sure she's headed there.

And she's on her way!

All in all, Pittsburgh sends 38 to Hollywood with the Golden Ticket pass.  Next week, on Sunday, its San Diego, California, following the San Fran-NYGiants game... and I'll be there, blogging, with The Lovely Steph Leann on the couch, blanket in hand!  And probably Campbell in the other, but still.

The 2012 Golden Globe Running Diary

So here we are, with the Golden Globes once again... in keeping with tradition, I'll blog the show bit by bit... sometimes funny, sometimes boring, rarely funny, mostly boring, it will be a trip nonetheless.

Now, its 9p, and we are starting late.  I could go into detail about how we had a great dinner with Melanie and Family, or how when we got home I had to put sheets on the bed and we had to do this and that and the other... however, I'll just use five words that most of you will understand:

We've got a kid now.

That will explain everything.

So, let's get going... Ricky Gervais is hosting again--last year, he got acclaim and criticism for his harsh joking on the celebrities, and though yes, they are people too, its hard to feel too bad when they can dry their tears with their Benjamins and sob into their silk couch cushions.  Give me a cool few million and make fun of me, I'm game.

9:07p... Yes, you say "it was 9p, why are you starting the DVR'd show at 9:07?  We've got a kid now, that's why.

9:09p... Show has started.  Ricky Gervais is out onstage, and I can tell half the stars in the audience are holding their breath, wondering if they are on target.  And he's drinking right off the bat.  "So, where was I...?" he begins.

909p... "The Golden Globes are just like the Oscars except without all that esteem.  I'm Britain's #1 comedian on the 2nd biggest awards show on the America's 3rd biggest network.  Fourth?  Okay, 4th biggest network..."

909p... Ricky makes a man-parts joke, and the camera shows Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, who are unamused.  Then makes a dirty little joke about the film "The Beaver" and Jodie Foster.  You see where this is going.

914p... The opening monologue is short, and considerably--and I mean really, really--tamer that last year.  Johnny Depp comes out as the first presenter.   Ricky asks him, "Johnny... have you seen 'The Tourist' yet?"  He's got a point... its a bad, bad movie.

915p... "Hugo" is the first of the nominated Best Drama movies shown.  I'm completely on the fence about seeing it, though I've heard its great.

916p... Gerard Butler and Mila Kunis comes out... besides "300", I don't know that Gerard Butler has done anything worth watching.   Mila Kunis has actually done some great work, though, "The Book of Eli" and "Friends with Benefits" are great examples.

917p... Best Supporting Actor in a Film.  Right before we heard his name, I said aloud "Christopher Plummer gets this".  Plummer is nominated for "Beginners", a movie where an old man (Plummer) comes out of the closet after a long, hetero life.  He's a legendary actor, but I feel like this movie is this years "The Kids are Alright"... that is, this year's Gay Movie.  I expect Plummer to be on the fast track to the Best Supporting Actor Oscar.

920p... Chris Plummer is still talking.  No "get off the stage" music.  I have a feeling that he is on the short list of people that the producers say, "Don't you dare play him off stage..."

How awesome would it be for him to work in how much he hates "The Sound of Music"... because in many interviews, he says just that very thing.

921p... Ashton Kutcher and Elle McPherson come out, doing the award for best actress in a Comedy or Musical.  So far, we've got Enlightened, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, The Big C and something else that I don't watch... Laura Dern gets it for Enlightened, an HBO show that I've never seen, but I'm sure is enjoyed by dozens of people every week.  Expect HBO to rack the heck up tonight.  Personally, I'd like to see Laura Linney get it, because I do like me some Laura Linney.

923p... "I like this dress she's got on.  Not the belt".  Thanks to The Lovely Steph Leann for the insight.

Julianne Moore is on my short list of people, along with Amy Adams,
DiCaprio, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise that deserve an Oscar at some point.

924p... Something for each of us.  Rob Lowe, a member in good standing of The Colin Firth Club, while for me, Julianne Moore and her awesome red hair.  The prompter fails, and someone hands the banter script to Julianne Moore.

925p... The nominees for Best TV Movie or Mini-Series.  "Cinema Verte"... "Downton Abbey"... "The Hour"... "Mildred Pierce"... "Too Big to Fail"...  I've only seen the last of those films, and it was pretty good, but not a major masterpiece to me.  I kinda feel like "Too Big to Fail" was that movie "New Years Eve" except with a smarter cast.  The winner?  "Downton Abbey", some show on PBS about old school England, which can pretty much guarantee that I will NEVER watch the show.

927p... The producer from "Downton Abbey" is speaking, and he's saying that ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

928p... Rob and Julianne are back for Best Actress in TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Who will win this?  Kate Winslet for "Mildred Pierce".  That's my guess... and?  Kate Winslet.  Anytime my dear Kate wins an award, I'm all for it.  She deserves 293 Golden Globes and about 102 Oscars.  Perhaps one of the top five most talented actresses alive today.

930... Christopher Plummer gets as long as he wants to talk.  Apparently Kate Winslet hasn't gotten to that status yet... she is played off stage.  Frieda Pinto comes out to introduce "Midnight in Paris".  The only reason I haven't seen this movie is that Woody Allen directed it--and I am not a Woody Allen fan at all.

933p... Jeremy Irons escorts the Hollywood Foreign Press Prez Dr. Something Somethingsomething.  The HFP is the group that does these awards every year, but I couldn't tell you anything else about them.  The camera pans to Madonna, leading The Lovely Steph Leann to say, "Why is Madonna there?  What the heck?"

934p... Jake Gyllenhaal.  He's out to introduce "My Week With Marilyn", another nominated film in the Drama category.  Another one I haven't seen.

This picture doesn't do Paula Patton's dress justice, as here
its muted.  It looked like a highlighter machine threw up
all over her.

936p... Ricky Gervais comes out again, making a joke about his agent and God, sparking an uncomfortable chuckle in the room-here and there.  Melissa McCarthy and Paula Patton come out, and the TV is filled with Paula's bright yellow dress.  Best Actor TV Series Drama.  All five shows I don't watch.  And the winner?  Starz gets one!  Kelsey Grammar wins for "Boss"!  Take that HBO!!

937p... Wait... does the Hollywood Foreign Press know that Kelsey Grammer is not playing "Frasier" anymore?  Is this why he won?

939p... Now the nominees for Best TV Series Drama.  Another set of shows I don't watch, though I think "Homeland" will be something we pick up... And "Homeland" wins!  I'm going to stick that in our Netflix queue.

942p... Adam Levine ("The Voice" plug!!) and Jimmy Fallon come out now.  The award for Best Song and Best Score is up.  Levine and Fallon are doing a schtick, and the camera shows George Clooney, who isn't even cracking a slight smile.  Best Score is first.  All five movies I've never seen.  My guess is "The Artist" and... I'll be right.  The Lovely Steph Leann remarks, "I'm a little disappointed in all of those nominees..."

945p... The winner is a Frenchman, and he says in broken English, "I'm sorry... I'm French..." and then tries to make a joke in broken English.  Doesn't work.  Best Song award is next... Gnomeo and Juliet's song... Machine Gun Preacher's song... Albert Nobbs' song... The Help's song... W.E.'s song... which is from Madonna, which makes both of us go, "Ahh... thats why she's there."

947p... Madonna wins.  Leads to this exchange:

Her:  What is "W.E."?  I haven't heard of half these movies!  When did that happen!
Me: Uh... we have a kid now.
Her:  And her dress?  Its horrible.

950p... Who the heck is this chick?  Upon seeing this foreign chick's dress, The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't say a word... she just slightly gasps.

951p... Debra Messing AND My Girl McPhee?  Holy crap.  Best Actor in TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Winner?  Idris Elba in... "Luther"?  Is that the name of it?  I know this guy as the Gatekeeper guy in "Thor".

953p... Brad Pitt walks out.  Millions of women my age collapse in a tizzy.  He introduces "The Ides of March", which was a great movie.

Beckinsale's face is genuine--she had no idea Seth was going to say it

955p... Seth Rogan and Kate Beckinsale walk out together... and Seth deadpans, "I'm Seth Rogan and I'm currently trying to conceal a..."... well, he says he's turned on.  Kate is cracking up, so I'm not sure that line was planned.  Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy, winner is Michelle Williams.  She will now be the second-runner to Meryl Streep in the Best Actress Race.  A chick from Dawson's Creek takes home a Golden Globe.

955p... Seth Rogan's one inappropriate joke > Ricky Gervais' entire monologue thusfar.

958p... Piper Perabo and Sarah Michelle Geller come out for Best Supporting Actor in TV Series, Mini Series or TV Movie.  Winner?  Peter Dinklage for Game of Thrones, for which he also won the Emmy some months back.  That's awesome... Short People Rule!  Dinklage says, "My mom said to me 'Have you seen Mildred Pierce?  Its so good!  Guy Pierce is going to win!'"

1001p... Ricky comes back out, drink in hand, introducing George Clooney, who walks out with a cane.  He introduces "Moneyball", another fantastic movie... like "The Ides of March", I think its a movie that gets better the more I think about it, and I'm looking forward to seeing both of them again.

1003p... Channing Tatum and Jessica Alba come out--I'm not sure putting both of their talents together would equal the right fingers of Kate Winslet or Colin Firth.  But hey, Channing was awesome in "She's the Man", right?  Right.

1003p... Best Animated Film, and honestly, I don't think there was a whole lot of strong animated movies.  "Cars 2" is nominated, but without a strong Pixar movie to win, I don't know who takes it.  "Rango", maybe?  The winner?  "The Adventures of Tintin", a movie that could care less about seeing.

1004p... I would imagine this award means as much to Steven Spielberg as his Blockbuster Entertainment Awards.

1006p... Ewen McGregor comes on the stage, introducing a wonderful movie as a best comedy nominee, "50/50".  I think more people should see this movie.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogan and Anna Kendrick are awesome, and this movie appears on the first post of The Coolest 100 Things of 2011.

1008p... Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman for Screenplay.  "Midnight in Paris"... "The Ides of March"... "The Artist"... "The Descendants"... "Moneyball".  And the Golden Globe goes to... Woody Allen for "Midnight in Paris", who isn't there.  Uncomfortable.

1009p... Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy, a real life couple, does a little song together that gets a huge applause.  Very cute.  Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Mini-Seires or TV Movie.  The winner is... Jessica Lange for "American Horror Story", a show I've never seen, but I've heard its scary and weird and awesome.

The Lovely Steph Leann:  Her dress is an American Horror Story on its own.

Another American Horror Story?  The fact that Jessica Lange also won a Golden Globe for the 70s version of "King Kong".  Wow, what a crappy film.

1013p... Back with Ricky, who introduces "The queen of pop... no, not you Elton John...  she's 'like a virgin", then coughs loudly.  Madonna comes out, saying "If I'm like a virgin, come over and do something about it--I haven't kissed a girl in a while."  There is laughter, but not much.  Foreign Film nominees.  The winner?  "A Separation" from Iran.  I wonder if they checked the cast and producers for bombs as they came in.   I also wonder if he publicly calls the US "The Great Satan", if Sean Penn would hop on stage and hug him.

1016p... Dustin Hoffman, Hollywood legend!  This is Best Actress TV Series Drama.  The Lovely Steph Leann and I both cheer when Callie Thorn is announced as a nominee for "Necessary Roughness"... what a great show.  Claire Danes wins for "Homeland"!  I like Claire Danes.  What a lovely lady.  

1022p... Emily Blunt comes out to introduce "Bridesmaids", one of my favorite films of 2011.  Absolutely hysterical.

1023p... Jane Lesbian Lynch and Tina Fey come on stage to do Best Actor TV Series Comedy or Musical.  Or as Jane says, "Music-Cal".  The winner is... Matt Le Blanc for "Episodes", as he plays a parody of himself. Four nominations, all for Friends, but no wins... good times.

Dr. Drake Remore gets a Golden Globe.  I love it.

1026p... People's "Sexiest Man Alive", Bradley Cooper is here to introduce the Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture.  Octavia Spencer will win this... and the winner is... Octavia Spencer.  She looks humble, but she had to know she was the front runner for this--and the Oscar now.  She gets a partial standing ovation from the crowd, and is stopped by like, 9 people on the way to the stage.

Me: This is going to be a speech about black women everywhere.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Of course it is.

Yup.  Four seconds in, and we get a Martin Luther King reference.

For anyone who has seen that movie, would you be a little apprehensive if she served chocolate pie at her award party?

1030p... Reese Witherspoon.  Yeah!  Let me tell you, I'm guessing she won't be doing the Bend & Snap in that dress.

She introduces "The Descendants", a movie that I really, really want to see, mostly because I know its one of maybe two leads for Best Picture for the Academy Awards.  And with George Clooney at his table?  Stacy Kiebler, former WCW and WWE Diva.  Rock on!

1031p... Sidney Poitier comes out to award Morgan Freeman with the CC DeMille Award... Sidney is given a huge standing ovation.   I know I'm getting old because no longer are these lifetime awards given to the 50s and 60s stars like Deborah Kerr or Spencer Tracy or Burt Lancaster... no, we are watching actors that we've grown up with get LIFETIME Achievement Awards. Wow.

And Morgan Freeman is so deserving of this very thing.  What a phenomenal actor, and what an incredible narration voice.  Helen Mirren comes out and says, "I have had a few glasses of wine, so excuse me when I complain that Morgan Freeman has been in over 50 films and I've only been in one."

I wonder if they asked Morgan Freeman to narrate the Morgan Freeman
tribute.  I want him to narrate my funeral.  Can anyone help with that?

Among the many awesome movies Morgan Freeman has done, here is My Favorite Morgan Freeman Roles:

10) Lucius Fox in "Batman Begins" & "The Dark Knight"
9) Azeem in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves"
8) Hoke Colburn in "Driving Miss Daisy"
7-tie) Jim in "Hard Rain"
7-tie) Joe Matheson in "Red"
6) God in "Bruce Almighty"
4) Ned Logan in "Unforgiven"
3) Det. William Somerset in "Se7en"
2) Rawlins in "Glory"
1) Red in "The Shawshank Redemption"

He truly is one of the Greatest American Actors Ever.  Hats off to you, Mr. Freeman.

The Lovely Steph Leann also points out that he does the voice of The Hall of Presidents--true.  And despite the presence of He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected, that makes it great.

1046p... Robert Downey Jr is here to introduce "The Artist", a movie I think I want to see, but I'm not sure.

1048p... Angelina Jolie comes out, and hardens my resolve that I not find her attractive, ever.  She looks ghastly.  Best Director... Ides of March... Midnight in Paris... The Descendants... Hugo... The Artist... and the winner is... Martin Scorcese for Hugo.  Very interesting...

The Lovely Steph Leann:  Angelina's arms are so teeny.  Like, the size of Campbell's arms.

1051p... Ricky again.  "I can't wait to introduce Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas!  I think they are interesting, I'm not sure because I [NBC bleeps out what he says]".  Salma and Antonio come out, and the entire bit by them is silenced.  Even the nominees for Best TV Series Comedy or Musical is quiet.  The picture goes haywire... and Modern Family wins the award.  What the heck?

1054p... Michelle Pfieffer, a legendary Hollywood beauty, comes out to introduce "War Horse".  With no desire to see this film, I think I've realized I'm not a fan of horse movies.  I've never seen, nor do I care to see, "Secretariat", "Sea Biscuit", "Sand Biscuit Hidalgo", "Black Beauty" or any of those.  "Hot to Trot" was kinda funny, though.

I put Jessica Biel in the Angelina Jolie All Stars for me--that is,
those chicks who the world tells me that I'm supposed to be
all hot for, but I don't see the appeal.  Sorry.

1055p... Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Biel comes out, and The Lovely Steph Leann gives the line of the night... "Ugh!  That dress!  Its like she has a third boob!"  Its true.  Its like Jess Biel is a Sister Wife.

The winner for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical goes to Jean Dejlua?idh for "The Artist".

1058p... Queen Latifah is introduced, and she's introducing "The Help" as a nominee for Best Movie.

1101p... Ricky is out again, introducing Colin Firth.  The Lovely Steph Leann swoons.  Ricky Gervais then makes fun of the fact that Colin Firth is talented, acclaimed and loved by all.  "But what you don't know is that he's very racist.  Here's the evil Colin Firth!"  Best Actress in a Drama Movie... the winner is... Meryl Streep of course.  That's my prediction, anyway... so, the actual winner is:  Meryl Streep.  We knew this.  She says, "I'm so glad that Ricky Gervais' deal fell through and they came to me to play Margaret Thatcher..."  I think she curses again, because the sound cuts out.  This is NBC, though.

1105p... Meryl is still talking.  She gets that "extra long speech time", though the music just kicked in.

1106p... Jane Fonda follows suit onto the stage, now is giving the award for Best Musical or Comedy.  50/50... The Artist... Bridesmaids... Midnight in Paris... My Week with Marilyn... and we know this.  The Artist picks up another win.   I dunno if a dog has anything to do with the movie, but there is a puppy onstage that some of the cast is playing with.

1110p... Ricky Gervais now brings out Natalie Portman, who won last year for Black Swan, a movie I haven't seen and am on the fence about.  Best Actor Movie Drama.  George Clooney... Leo DiCaprio... Michael Fassbender... Brad Pitt... Ryan Gosling... the Golden Globe goes to... George Clooney for "The Descendants".   Another predictable winner tonight.

1114p... This must be the final award of the night, because it brings out cranky Harrison Ford, and they are rushing through this list of Best Drama Movie... and the winner is... "The Descendants".  Right here, right now, I call it--a two film race for Best Picture at the Academy Awards between this and The Artist, with The Descendants getting it.

And that is your 2012 Golden Globes!  I know, I know, its a day late, its hurried, and I'm sure I missed some stuff... but hey...

We've got a kid now.

Play Counts Count

I'll admit, I'm quite the nerd.  Some people would call it OCD, but I would say SOCD, which is Selective Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... I don't obsess about much, but I'm very picky about what I obsess about... its almost like, I know whats important to me, how important it is to have things done the way I want the done... but only about certain things that sometimes no one else cares about.

Case in point... iTunes. 

iTunes has this thing called a "play count", which is both a blessed and cursed thing.  In my mind, once I play a song, I want it counted.  Once I listen to a song, I want it noted... it truly doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone in the entire world that I've listened to "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon 34 times, or that I've fired up the original "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley 8 times. 

But its important to me.  I dunno why, and I really am not sure I care to psycho-analyze, but that's just one of those quirky, nerdy things about me.  We'll come back to this, but first I have to give a bit more exposition, then tie it all together at the end like a good little storyteller.

Yesterday, I finally purchased a portable hard drive.  We've owned a regular external hard drive for about three years, and backs up most of what is on my, and The Lovely Steph Leann's, computers.  For me its music, audiobooks and pictures, for her its mostly pictures and Creative Memories back-up files... but the problem is, its so clunky and bulky.  In the Casa de Pesos apartment, it wasn't a big deal, because our place was so small, we just kept our PC and the back up drive and such altogether, and even when we got laptops, they mostly just stayed in the guest bedroom.  I could write and blog and do whatever, and with a television in the room, I could still watch whatever, or play a movie or anything of the like. 

When we got The Cabana, though, it was harder, because we kept the back-up drive upstairs, and the laptops stayed downstairs mostly, so I didn't back up much stuff, just every now and then.  With my growing love (and ear) for audiobooks, I finally had to move them off of my laptop because I had gotten to the point where I had less than 10gb of space (off of 300gb).  It took almost 2 hours, but I moved almost 80gb of audiobooks onto the harddrive, plus a few movies and some other space-taking items. 

Now, for anyone who owns an iPod, you'll notice that if you try and sync your iPod, and you've moved some files, a little "!" will appear by those files.  And when those files are on an entirely different drive altogether, its even worse, because you get a hundred or two of those "!" when they are audiobooks.  So, I now have a set up on our dining room table, this external hard drive to my left, cords and USB cables running everywhere and anywhere, and like, four things plugged into the nearby outlet.  Thus, the need for a portable hard drive.

So I'm currently moving, from the external to the portable, over 100 audiobooks, encompassing 32,000+ files (the Harry Potter series alone contains at least 1,500 tracks), which makes up about 140gb of space.  I have another 60gb of pictures to move over.  And at some point, in the future, I'll move over all my music from my laptop to the portable hard drive.

And now, we get back to play counts.  See, when I move over the music, I have to reload all songs back into iTunes.  And when I do, all play counts go back to zero.  Everyone.  So me listening to Nilsson's "I Guess the Lord Must Be In New York City" 29 times?  Its like it didn't happen.

However, don't think I haven't considering recreating all the playcounts.  Easy, really... click on a song, click "repeat" twice (which makes the song repeat) and then click on the end over and over.  It will advance from beginning to end, then start over.  Yes, this is a really stupid, useless thing to do.  Yes, there are far better uses of my time.  Yes, I've thought about it.  We'll see.

Play counts are a funny thing... it kinda tells you and the world what you truly like.  My official Top Five list of songs are: (1) "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan... (2) "I'd Die Without You" by PM Dawn... (3) "Piano in the Dark" by Brenda Russell (ft. Joe Esposito)... (4) "Not the Only One" by Bonnie Raitt... (5) "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears.  Coming in a close 6th is "Say Say Say" by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson.

Other songs that have wandered their way in and out of my Top Ten including "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the Blowfish... "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton... "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney and Wings... "Hazy Shade of Winter" by The Bangles and "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John....

But you know what?  Out of those 11 songs I just listed, none are in my Top Ten of the Play Count List, and only one is in the Top Twenty, at 19th.  So, I thought it might be fun to list my Top Fifty Songs on the Play Count List, the songs that have been played the most.  Bear in mind, too, that I listen to a ton of podcasting and audiobooks, so music isn't my top priority most of the time, but sometimes, you just wanna hear Timberlake, or Flo Rida or Billy Joel or Bill Withers...

So, here we go...  Song, artist, and (play count)

There is a huge six way tie at 50, featuring...
50-tie.  Running From an Angel by Hootie & the Blowfish (34)
50-tie. Clarity by John Mayer (34)
50-tie. 3AM by Matchbox 20 (34)
50-tie. Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon (34)
50-tie. Welcome to Delaware by Watermark (34)
50-tie. White & Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic (Video) (34)

All the way down to #40 is another tie or two, featuring the only song that appears twice in our countdown, in both audio and video versions.  Also, The Dixie Chicks make their first of three appearances.
48-tie. Cowboy Take Me Away by The Dixie Chicks (35)
48-tie. Sunday Afternoon by Joel Blount (35)
40-tie. ...And Our Feelings by Babyface (Video) (36)



40-tie. Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel (36)
40-tie. Close of Autumn by Caedmon's Call (36)
40-tie. The Trolley Song by Judy Garland (36)
40-tie. Taylor, the Latte Boy by Kristin Chenoweth (36)
40-tie. B.O.B. by OutKast (36)
40-tie. Light My Candle by Mimi and Roger from The Cast of Rent (36)
40-tie. You Mean the World To Me by Toni Braxton (36)

The next set of ten, down to a four way tie at #31...
39. I'll Be Okay by Amanda Marshall (37)
36-tie. Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers (38)
36-tie. In the Light by dcTalk (38)
36-tie. Possession by Sarah McLachlan (38)
35. Snow (Hey Oh) by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (39)
31-tie. Full Moon by Brandy (40)
31-tie. Callin' Baton Rouge by Garth Brooks (40)
31-tie. The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson (40)
31-tie. The Remedy (I won't worry) by Jason Mraz (40)

The next ten are all older songs, anywhere from five to fifteen to thirty...
26-tie. Let's Stay Together by Al Green (41)
26-tie. Still Not a Player by Big Punisher with Fat Joe (41)
26-tie. The Story by Brandi Carlile (41)
26-tie. My My My by Johnny Gill (41)
26-tie. Chains by Tina Arena (41)
24-tie. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift (41)
24-tie. Say It Right by Nelly Furtado (Video) (41)
23. Season of Love by The Cast of Rent (43)
21-tie. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawio'ole (45)
21-tie. The Light In Your Eyes by Blessid Union of Souls (45)

And our teens part of the countdown gives us another helping of The Chicks, an obscure but incredible song by Jill Paquette and of course, Cool J.
19-tie. My Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow (46)
19-tie. I'd Die Without You by PM Dawn (46)
17-tie. Tortured Tangled Hearts by The Dixie Chicks (47)
17-tie. Drops of Jupiter by Train (47)
15-tie. Sin Wagon by The Dixie Chicks (48)
15-tie. Lift My Eyes by Jill Paquette (48)
13-tie. Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (49)
13-tie. I May Hate Myself in the Morning by Lee Ann Womack (49)
11-tie. Loungin' (who do you love) by LL Cool J (50)
11-tie. If I Ever Lose My Faith in You by Sting (50)

Before we get to the Top Ten, I wanted to give you a list of ten songs that, were I to do this same column in a year two, you'd probably see some of them appear in this very list, maybe because they are new and I listen to them frequently now or because they were just outside the top fifty and have gotten some recent love from my playlist... they include "Hey Soul Sister" by Train... "Travelin Soldier" by The Dixie Chicks... "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John... "Relator" by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson... "You Give Good Love" by Whitney Houston... "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis... "Right Round" by Flo Rida... "I Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum... "Everything Zen" by Bush... and, of course... "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus

Now, here's the Top Ten... a little eclectic, but a little predictable all the same...
10. Collide by Howie Day (53)... I cannot even name another Howie Day song.  But I love this one.  I told The Lovely Steph Leann if I played guitar and could sing, this would be part of my set.

9. ...And Our Feelings by Babyface (54)... This is a perfect song to sing while driving.  My vocals get nowhere near the level of Babyface, but that doesn't mean I don't try.

7-tie. How to Save a Life by The Fray (55)... This and their other big song, perhaps one of the biggest, most awesome one-two song punches ever. 

7-tie. You and I Both by Jason Mraz (55)... Its a great video, its a great song, and its also fun to sing.  And the lyrics are easier to learn than "The Remedy".

6. My Boo by Usher (ft Alicia Keys) (56)... I was a little surprised when I did this list how far up this list that "My Boo" ended up.  But I'm perfectly okay with it.

5. Wildwood Flower by Reese Witherspoon (57)... I bought the "Walk the Line" soundtrack, and I'll be honest, I listened to this song non-stop.  When I first got my iPod, I remember this song being the first one to 20 plays ever. 

4. Fergalicious by Fergie (Video) (58)... Fine.  I'll admit it.  I like this song, and this video is fun.  I would venture to guess that 40 of the plays were done within a year of it being released.

3. Love Song by Sara Bareilles (59)... If I could use the Billboard Charts term "with a bullet" on my own little list, than I would use it here with this song.  I wouldn't be shocked to see this become number one in the near future, because I am completely addicted to this song.



2. Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake (61)... What can I say?  Timberlake is cool.  The song is cool. 

1. Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray (63)... Again, I'm not entirely sure how this song got so high, number one in fact, but I make no apologies.  It is a song that I could listen to non-stop (and have) and not get tired of (I haven't).

So what about you?  Does your list of favorite songs and your actual play counts tell two different stories?

The Golden Globe Sunday Evening

So there are your Golden Globe awards for another year.  I'll be back in a few days with more Idol, and another few installments of our Top 100 Coolest Things of the Year...

11:41p... Ricky Gervais appears once more, thanks the crowd, does one more shill for his TV show... and thats it.  There are the Golden Globes, short (3 hours doing movies AND television) and sweet. 

11:37p... Julia Roberts is out here to give away the award for Best Picture.  It's "Avatar", which now has the momentum to carry it to the Oscars for Best Picture.  Sigh.

11:31p.. Ah, Kate Winslet.  I love me some Kate Winslet.  Here's Best Actor in a Drama... one of the nominees is the President of The Lovely Steph Leann's Colin Firth Club, Colin Firth.  He doesn't win, though... it goes to Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart"... and its awesome, because the entire room is giving him a standing ovation. 

"You are really tearing up my under-appreciated status here," he says.  He then calls out "my beautiful wife... get a shot of her!"  Then sends a nod to his dad, the late, great Lloyd Bridges.  Jeff is one of those actors who you never think about how good he is, and then you realize how much awesome stuff he's been in... "Tron"... "Starman"... "The Fabulous Baker Boys"... "Iron Man"... "The Last Picture Show"... "Surf's Up"... and of course, "The Big Lebowski"... great career. 

11:28p... Some chick who's name I missed is doing Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical.  And the winner?  Another shocker... Robert Downey Jr in "Sherlock Holmes".  Really?  Well... he made that film what it was... and he gives the best speech of the night, slightly edging Drew Barrymore just for comedy content...

11:24p... Mickey Rourke's Corpse comes out wearing a terrible hat and terrible suit, to give away Best Actress in a Drama.  The winner?  Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side"... wow... seriously, didn't see that coming at all.  The Lovely Steph Leann screamed again.  Hey, I'm not saying she didn't earn it, but wow... I really thought it would be one of those "your reward is being nominated" for Sandy... but rock on. 

Also... Mickey looked like he threw up in his mouth a little when he announced Sandy Bullock winning.  Here is a pic of Mickey before the plastic surgery (inset) and the after shot. 

11:22p... Ah-nald is out to introduce "Avatar" as a Best Picture nominee, takes a dig at NBC ("the only way that James Cameron would make more money is if he were hired by NBC... then fired by NBC"). 

11:20p... Is anyone else as NOT stoked about the Winter Olympics as I am? 

11:20p... Uh... Mike Tyson is standing onstage, a part of a group who just won a Golden Globe Award for a movie, the same stage that Mo'Nique stood on after winning an acting award of her very own.  I'm not joking. 

11:19p... And Ashley Judd Club member Reese Witherspoon is out to give away Best Picture Comedy or Musical.  How great would this be if "The Hangover" won?   AND IT WINS!!!!  THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! 

11:18p... The guys from "The Hangover", including Mike Tyson, are out to introduce their own movie... this movie is awesome.

11:15p... Jack Bauer and Olivia Wilde come out to give away the award for Best Comedy or Musical TV Series.... The Lovely Steph Leann might go postal if "Glee" doesn't win... or she might do the same if it does win.  Dunno.  There are a thousand people onstage, including Jayma Mays (left).

The winner?  "Glee".  The Lovely Steph Leann just screamed loudly.  The blood that is slowly trickling from my right ear I'm sure will dry on my wife-beater t-shirt.

11:09p... Jodie Foster comes out and introduces "The Hurt Locker", an awesome, amazing movie.  Ricky Gervais, beer in hand, says, "Cheers."  Then he says, "If I offended anyone, its the beer... I love to drink as much as the next man... unless the next man is... Mel Gibson..."

Mel Gibson is here to introduce the Best Director nominees.  I miss Fun Mel Gibson.  When he's not going off on cops and fathering children with nannies, he's a great guy to watch.  The winner?  James Cameron for "Avatar".  I was expecting Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker", but I'm kinda wondering if this is a foretelling of whats to come at Academy Awards night--Cameron winning, and "Avatar" winning Best Picture, which I'm totally opposed to... not that they will ask my opinion.

10:56p... And here is the CC DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement, which usually takes about 20 minutes.  This one goes to Martin Scorsese.  They do a pan shot to Brenden Fraser.  Who invited that guy?

Anyway, let's talk about the movies Scorsese has done... "Goodfellas"... "Aviator"... "Raging Bull"... "Taxi Driver"... "The Color of Money"... "The Departed"... "Cape Fear"... "Casino"... "Gangs of New York"... even his crap, like "Bringing Out the Dead" was good crap.  For what its worth, I lift my coffee cup to you, Marty Scorsese.

10:52p...  Ricky Gervais digs on Halle Berry in "Catwoman" before bringing her out.  I will always like Halle Berry, if only because she actually showed up at The Razzie Awards to accept her Worst Actress Award for "Catwoman".  The Best Supporting Actor goes to... Christoph Waltz for "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which I predicted, because he was amazing in that movie.   As he gets his award from Halle, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "She's thinking 'please don't kiss me!'"

10:49p... Supporting Actress in TV Series, Mini Series or Movie.  "Glee"'s Jane Lynch is nominated, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I'm gonna be so mad if 'Glee' doesn't win anything!"  Well, get mad, cause the chick from "Big Love" won.  The Lovely Steph Leann shouts, "Dang it!" 

10:48p... Team Jacob comes out, much to the delight of a million and four girls age 14 and under, to introduce "(500) Days of Summer".  I liked it.  I didn't love it.  It was cute, but it wasn't the brilliant film that I was hearing about from everyone... though its use of "You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall and Oates might be brilliant in in of itself.

10:44p... Amy Poehler and Zack Levi come out to introduce Best Series Drama, including "Dexter", "Big Love", "House", "Mad Men" and "True Blood"... the winner?  "Mad Men".  I've seen one episode of this show, and I'm already hooked.  I'm totally getting the DVDs. 

10:39... The baddest mofo on the planet, Samuel L. Jackson, is here to introduce "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which is in my top ten movies of the year.  He then introduces Sophia Loren as a "real, live movie star", and she gets a standing ovation.  She looks great for 113 years old.  Those glasses are horrific, though.  "That is a shame," The Lovely Steph Leann comments.

She's here to introduce Best Foreign Language Film... Baaria... Broken Embraces... The Maid... Un Prophete... and The White Ribbon from Germany, which is going to win... and... and... and... it does.  Its about kids on the eve of some day in World War II.  That's got Oscar all over it. 

Of course, wouldn't it be interesting to see "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children"--about Nazi killing Jews--and "The White Ribbon"--about German kids in World War II--go head to head. 

10:38p... Maggie Gyllenhaal reminds us to give to Haiti.  She looks ghastly. 

10:36p... Jennifer Garner, who is probably not nominated for "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", and Ashton Kutcher, who is probably not nominated for anything, is giving out Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical--The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the guy from "Glee" is announced as a nominee.  Alec Baldwin wins, but is nowhere to be found, as he's off doing charity for the Haitian Nation.

10:33p... Ricky Gervais introduces "Rachel from Friends and that bloke from 300"... So Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston come out to give away Best Screenplay.   A huge catagory, all five great movies... the winner is Jason Reitman for "Up in the Air"... my favorite film from 2009.  I admit it.

10:31p... Cameron Diaz comes out and says, "THIS is the film where Meryl Streep DOES sleep with Alec Baldwin".   She's referring to "Its Complicated", of course.  Cameron Diaz hasn't been pretty or talented since the first "Charlie's Angels" movie.  Just sayin'.

10:28p... Me: So you don't like Drew's dress, huh?   The Lovely Steph Leann: NO!   Drew gives a shout out to Mo'Nique... and then gives the most honest, best, most genuine speech of the entire night.  She's flustered, she's fumbling, she's speaking 90 to nothing...  Rock on, Drew Barrymore.

Drew Barrymore:  I'm humbled and honored

The Lovely Steph Leann:  What is that thing on her hip?  Like, its bad enough on her shoulder... but her hips too?

10:24p... The "Avatar" costars are out to do the Best Actor in TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Winner?  Kevin Bacon for "Taking Chance", a movie that I had on DVR for about six months... then deleted without watching.  He was also nominated for... "The River Wild", back in the 90's, also starring... Meryl Streep.

And while we are at it, Best Actress in a TV Movie or Mini-Series.... I want Drew Barrymore to win, so The Lovely Steph Leann will go off again about Drew's dress.  The winner is... Drew Barrymore for "Grey Gardens"!  She was my favorite bad girl back in the 90s... and its her first Golden Globe win.  That's just awesome...

10:22p... Could Helen Mirran be the most attractive 83 year old in the history of the world?  Seriously.  She always looks so, so classy and uppity.  She introduces "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire".  Now I'm depressed.

10:18p... Ricky Gervais makes a drunk Irish joke, then introduces Colin Firth, who introduces the Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical.  The winner goes to... Meryl Streep for "Julie & Julia"... yay!  The Tuch looks on, and seems proud.  The Lovely Steph Leann was rooting for Sandy Bullock in "The Proposal".

I notice that as Meryl Streep talks, the music doesn't play.  The band director is asking the show director "Do I start?" and the show director is saying, "Are you kidding?  This is Meryl Streep.  DO NOT cut off Meryl Streep..."

10:15p...  Tom Hanks:  "I'm here to introduce the movie that features Meryl Streep, and in this one she doesn't end up in bed with Alec Baldwin, but instead ends up in bed with Stanley Tucci, a step up..."  Its "Julie & Julia", which was a great film, featuring the aforementioned Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and a great turn by Meryl Streep.   

10:10p... Yay!  Its Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with!  The Lovely Steph Leann said, "Is she pregnant?" and I said, "Yes, but its not mine, I promise."  I got an eye roll.  Anyway, the nominees for best TV Movie or Mini Series.  The winner is "Grey Gardens", and whoever got up to accept the award turned her back to the camera, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh no!  That dress is terrible!"  Then she proceeds to rip Drew Barrymore a new one for "that thing on her shoulder... and oh my lord, she's got one on her waist too!"

10:08p... The score from "Up" is nominated for Best Score, and I hope it wins... it was wonderful.  The winner?  "Up"!  Its awesome.  Its so... well, perfect.  It takes you through those first gut-wretching, hard to watch, can't look away 9 minutes of that movie.

10:05p... Cher and Christina Aguliera are in a movie together, something called "Burlesque".  They are here to do the awards for Song from a Movie.  Cher looks terrible.  Not sure she could smile if she wanted to.  Christina... not too bad.  Its been a long time, Christina.  Glad to see you back.  I was guessing "Winter" by U2, from "Brothers", was going to win, to make up for the loss a few years ago when Three 6 Mafia took home the Oscar for "Its Hard Out Here for a Pimp" over U2's song from "Gangs of New York".

Who won?  The song from "Crazy Heart", which I should have guessed.  Its a country music movie about a hard drinking country star fallen from grace.  Shoulda known.

10:03p... Here's the ever grumpy Harrison Ford.  Seriously... this guy is not only Han Solo, but also Indiana Jones, plus he was in "Witness"!  He was in "The Mosquito Coast"!  He was in "American Graffiti"!  Harrison!  You've led an incredible life.  Smile once in a while, bucky.

10:02p... Just found out that Michael C. Hall actually has cancer.  Don't I feel like a sleazebucket. 

9:59p... Best actress in a TV Series Drama... All five women in shows I've never seen.  Julianna Margulies for "The Good Wife", which I have heard is a great show.  I just don't have time for more TV shows!!!

9:57p...  Best performances in drama!  Actor in a TV Series Drama... and the winner is Michael C. Hall for "Dexter", in his cancer-like knit cap.  I remember him as the gay brother in "Six Feet Under".

9:52p... And someone who hasn't been talented or pretty since "Amost Famous" its Kate Hudson!  And here's Mrs. William H. Macy, Felicity Huffman, completely fumbling and stumbling through the teleprompter to tell us who the Hollywood Foreign Press Association actually is... we meet the president, Philip Burk, who isn't the same Philip Burk I remember from the Lambda Chi house back in 1995.  And we still don't know what the HFPA does.

9:48p... The Animated Film Award, which will either go to "Up" or "The Fabulous Mr. Fox"... I hope that Pixar is not being held back because of its previous winnings... like a "They've won so many, so let's give it to someone else" kind of mentality.  The winner?  "Up".  Ha!  I knew it!  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Yes!!"

9:48p... I hold the personal belief that Sir Paul McCartney stopped being relevant about thirteen years ago.  Just sayin'.

9:44p... Yay!  Its Mama Gilmore and some guy that I sort of recognize.  Mama Gilmore looked better on the show.  Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Its Doogie!  Everyone loves Doogie!  The winner, though?  John Lithgow wins for "Dexter".  I don't even think I knew he was on that show until yesterday, when The Sports Guy mentioned him in a podcast that I was listening too.  They cut to Michael C. Hall, the star of "Dexter", who is sporting some sort of knit skull cap--what, does he have cancer?

9:41p... Best Actress in a TV Series Comedy or Musical.   Matthew Fox is out there with someone that I don't recognize (I think its the chick from "Modern Family"), she's trying to get out her names, and its hard to understand her.  The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the chick from Glee is mentioned as a nominee.  Toni Collette wins for "The United States of Tara", which I could have predicted as soon as that show premiered last January... Toni Collette is playing a woman with like, five personalities.  If that doesn't get you an award, I'm not sure what does.

9:38p... Let me be clear.  Mo'Nique just won an acting award.  And she's going to tell us about all the beaten and abused women out there...  and I was right.     "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" is a movie that I want to see.  Then again, I don't.

9:36p... Nicole Kidman looks like a wax figure.  She's here to present the award for Best Supporting Actress... Penelope Cruz is one of those chicks that I should find attractive, but don't.  Same goes for Vera Fermiga.  Not so much for Mo'Nique.  Julianne Moore and Anna Kendrick I do find attractive.  And in the "Yep, saw that coming" moment, Mo'Nique picks up the award for "Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire".  

9:34p... And he makes some pee-pee jokes... and jokes on Angelina Jolie and her 4,992 kids... and then says, "Let's get on it with, before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno."  Knew that was coming!

9:31p... Our host is Ricky Gervais, British comic and star of the British show "The Office", which is where our "The Office" is based from.  The Golden Globes is awarded from The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which is a group that I have no clue what they are about.  Ricky comes out and takes digs at Steve Carrell, who portray's Gervais' American character.  Then he takes a dig at NBC (who doesn't). 

9:29p... And now... the Golden Globes have started.  Finally.

9:25p... The Lovely Steph Leann is still talking.  The show still hasn't started for us.  I've been careful to avoid E! Network or EW.com or Showbiz Tonight on CNN or anything else that might allude to who won what award.  So far.  Not sure how much longer I can keep this fast up.

9:15p... And now I wait for The Lovely Steph Leann to quit her yapping so we can turn on The Golden Globes Awards show, the show that started almost 2 and a half hours ago--I had high hopes that if we started at 7:30, even 8, we could fast forward through what we wanted to, and catch up to the live show.  But alas.

9:13p...  We're in!  We booked, we're all set, we have a room at All Star Sports for The Lovely Steph Leann and I, then an All Star Music Suite for Karen, Eric and the childrens.  Again... you call until you get the answer you want.  And we got the answer we wanted.  Rock on. 

8:59p... We are traveling with the cousin of The Lovely Steph Leann, Karen, and Karen's husband Eric, and their two children, Wyatt and Hannah.  Both kids are severly autistic, which is something that I know about.. but don't know about.  So, like, I don't know much about "how that works". 

8:53p... Finally, back from on hold... and our Cast Member we are talking to is named Elisa.  She rocks.  Seriously...

8:46... Still on hold

8:22pm... The Golden Globes officially started at 7pm, which is 5pm California time.  However, we've got it on DVR, and we haven't started it yet... why?  First, I had to work tonight until 7pm at The Happiest Place in the Mall.  Then, when I got off at 7pm, I had to stop by Subway to bring home some Eat Fresh for dinner.  Upon arrival at home, circa 7:30, The Lovely Steph Leann was busy as a bee putting up Christmas ornaments into their proper boxes (this is a daunting task that I usually do every year, but this year she's assisting).  I sat down, put the Eat Fresh sandwiches off to the side, fired up the laptop and pulled up a blank blogpage.

"Can you call Disney and find out rates for our March trip?"  The Lovely Steph Leann asked.  I sighed.  I stared at the remote, at the Eat Fresh sandwiches, at the computer and sighed again.  This was going to take a while. 

See, here's the thing... as much as I love my own company, the one I work for and will be a part of for at least the next 3 and 1/2 months, their reservation system for Cast Members is... well, sometimes rather incompetant.  Put it this way--most of the time, you call until you get the answer you want, and then you book it then, just like tonight.  I've talked to four Cast Members over six phone calls (the first my phone dropped out, and I threw it, and the second, I got transferred in error to the wrong person, who put me on hold for many, many minutes--which means I hung up and threw it.  I don't do well being on hold for stupid reasons.  Just sayin').  Anyway, I finally called back, and got someone now who is supposed to help me book our final trip before I leave The Happiest Place in the Mall in April.