movie monday football

Fun fact... I actually wrote this article in 2013... I've been looking over my 30+ drafts that I've written off and on, some totally complete, one or two being completed parts of a series that is unfinished, and some half done. I even have a pointed piece about the kid who caught flack for smirk smiling at a fake protester on the steps of the Capitol -- I'll probably hold onto that one. 

But either way, here is a post about my favorite football movies... I added a few lines and did some grammar correction, but otherwise, here ya go... 

For our inaugural Movie Monday.... since football season is winding down, at least college wise, I thought I'd celebrate America's true pastime with my favorite five football centric films...

5... "The Replacements" (2000)
When pro football teams all go on strike, replacement players are used, including on the Washington Sentinals, where their star QB takes a slide instead of scoring a game winning TD so he wouldn't be hurt.  Enter Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves), who, together with his grizzled coach, Gene Hackman, and a wacky cast of teammates played by Faizon Love, Orlando Jones, Jon Favreau and Rhys Ifans, have to win three of the final four games of the season to make the playoffs.

Sure, its silly.  And goofy.  And its so much fun.  And the incredibly cute Brooke Langton is Annabelle, Shane's love interest... this movie is also known for its great line, "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars.  Glory?  Lasts forever."

What happened to Brooke Langton?  She's 50, she's still working, and still beautiful. 

4... "Remember the Titans" (2000)
Herman Boone (Denzel Washington) is hired on to coach a racially divided Williams High School, taking the reins from Coach Yoast (Will Patton), who stays on as an assistant.  Set in 1971, the school is awash in racial prejudice, as Coach Boone is told that if he loses a single game, he's fired.  

The movie, sometimes being a little sappy and predictable, is solid, fun and weaves a great story.  The cast is also stellar, with Ryan Hurst and Wood Harris as the main white and black dudes on the team who (naturally) find a way to come together, with supporting roles by Kip Pardue as the surfer QB, Ethan Suplee as the token fat guy, Donald Faison as a RB named Petey and a young Hayden Panettiere as Coast Yoast's daughter.  Oh yeah, Ryan Gosling is in this too. 

Fun fact... of course, as most films based on a true story will go, this one plays a little fast and loose with the truth -- turns out, by many accounts Coach Boone was quite the jackwagon in real life -- and lot of the racial tension drummed up in the movie was really just drummed up for the movie. Alas, Hollywood.   

3... "The Waterboy" (1998)
What a stupid film.  It just is.  And I love it.  Do I really need to tell you the plot?  Adam Sandler is Bobby Boucher, a Cajun in Louisiana who is recruit by Mr Coach Klien (Henry Winkler in this don't-take-myself-so-serious phase) to play football for the terrible South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs, after being rejected by the U of Louisiana Cougars... and of course, it all climaxes in... The Bourbon Bowl.  Of course it does.

You know the lines... "been playing the foosball behind mama's back!?" and "water sucks! it really really sucks!" and "I saw Vicky Vallencourt's boobies and I liked them too!"... love this movie.
 

2... "Necessary Roughness" (2001)
If you are sensing a trend here, of me liking bad football comedies, you are right.  And this one is the best of the comedic bunch.  Scott Bakula!  Sinbad!  Robert Loggia!  Larry Miller!  Harley Jane Kozak! 

Yeah, you probably know those names, and you definitely know the faces...  The football season approaches for the Texas State Fightin' Armadillos, but with most of the previous players suspended and coaching staff fired due to NCAA sanctions (the accusations here are very similar to the real life charges against Southern Methodist University, which was handed the "death penalty" in 1987--more on this later).

Enter Coach Ed Gennero (Hector Elizondo) and his assistant coach Wally (Robert Loggia), who are forced to not only deal with the NCAA restrictions, but also the ones placed on the team by the mean Dean Elias (a wonderfully smarmy Larry Miller)... Dean Miller has left Coach with only 17 players allowed on the team, forcing them most players to play offense and defense, hence, "ironman" football.
The quarterback?  A 34 year old former high school star named Paul Blake (Bakula) who never attended college and has eligibility, who also convinces a TA named Andre (Sinbad), who also has a year left, to play.

And the movie takes off from there, with supporting roles from Jason Batemen, and Kathy Ireland as a the soccer star turned female placekicker (Kathy, I've always loved you from when I was a teenager... but acting is not your forte)... Harley Jane Kozak as a professor, who becomes Paul's love interest and continues to spurn the advances of Dean Miller,  thereby fueling the Dean's hatred of the team.... Rob Schneider, before he got too ridiculous in movies, as announcer Chuck Neiderman and finally, the university president, played by former US presidential candidate Fred D. Thompson.

I love this movie and watch it every time its on, no matter where I catch the film.  Its funny, predictable and a little (a lot) ridiculous, but its so much fun.

Trivia... Texas State wasn't a real university until 2003, when the real life Southwest Texas State University shortened its name to Texas State, with the mascot the Bobcats.  In the movie, the first opponent that the fictional Texas State Fightin' Armadillos plays is the Southwest Texas State U Bobcats.  Irony.


1... "The Blind Side" (2009)
There are some who would say this film is sappy.  There are some who would say this film is made to directly pull on your heart strings.  There are some who would say that it took a little section of a mighty fine book and made an entire movie about that one section.  And they would all be right.

That doesnt change the fact that I am in love with this movie.  I love everything about this film, from the cast--Sandra Bullock in her Oscar winning role... newcomer Quinton Aaron as the lead character of Michael Oher... Tim McGraw as Sean Tuohy... Kathy Bates as tutor Miss Sue... young Jae Head as the youngest son SJ, who has some of the best lines... and of course, the good-lookin' Lily Collins as, conveniently enough, Collins Tuohy, the daughter of Leighe Ann and Sean.

You perhaps know the story, as the Tuohy's, a well to do family in Memphis, TN, ends up not only befriending but becoming the caretakers of Michael Oher, who has been shuffled around from foster home to foster home, running away each time to return to his drug addicted mother. 

The movie then chronicles Michael's story, as everyone discovers how he's been lost in the education system and how he's helped, loved and redeemed by the power of one family loving on a stranger who becomes their friend... then son.  In addition to circumstance, the other foes in the movie are an NCAA investigator who come around, questioning the Tuohy's care for Michael when he chooses what school he'll go to, and gangsta's from the Michael's old neighborhood.

How much do I love this film?  Its currently my 53rd favorite film of all time, has a total re-watchability factor (like "Necessary Roughness", I can pick this movie up anywhere and watch it to completion) and is based on a book that is also extremely awesome.


Honorable Mentions:
"Rudy" (1993) - Like it.  Don't love it, not nearly as much as everyone around me does.

"Jerry Maguire" (1996) - Considered putting this on the list, and it would have ranked #1 if I had--its my 35th favorite film of all time--but to me, this is not necessarily a football movie, not like the ones listed above.  Football plays a part, but its a football agent story.

"The Longest Yard" (1974) - The original with Burt Reynolds, not that travesty made a few years ago with Adam Sandler.

"Varsity Blues" (1999) - I only list this here because I've rewatched it recently.  It holds up, if only for the great cast--Scott Caan, Ali Larter (besides the whipped cream, I mean), Amy Smart (underrated as an actress) and of course, the late, great Paul Walker.

"The Last Boy Scout" (1991) - Like Jerry Maguire, football plays a part of the story, but is not the story.  But I do love me some Last Boy Scout, so I had to mention it.

"Quarterback Princess" (1983) - A made for TV movie with a very young Helen Hunt, a female who quarterbacks a high school team.  This used to come on cable all the time when I was a kid, and I watched it at least a dozen times.

Worth noting...

There are a couple of football documentaries that must be mentioned, including "Pony Exce$$" (2011), a film that takes on the SMU scandal as I mentioned above... "Small Potatoes: Who Killed the USFL" (2009), following the rise and fall of the 1980s USFL, including an interview with who the movie suggests might be the culprit--Donald Trump... and "Undefeated" (2011), the story of the 2009 high school team seeking its first playoff win ever...

(ps... I've never seen "Brian's Song")

the 2014 book report part two

Picking up where we left off yesterday, here is the continued rundown of the books read (listened to) in 2014... the next ten are pretty amazing...

My 11th book of the year was one recommended immensely by so many people... "Love Does" by Bob Goff.  The whole premise of the book is that "Love does... everything".  It's about love when it comes to a relationship with God, how to share that love with everyone and anyone and Goff's life stories and lessons learned in life.  The only thing I didn't like was that sometimes, Bob is unrelatable.. in one story, albeit great, he talks about making his kids an offer that if they would write letters to leaders, he would take them to meet the leaders... so when a head of state from a Middle Eastern country writes back and invites the family for ice cream, they go.  Who does that?  Great story, but I know few people that could do that. 

The next 2 books were let downs... first, Daniel B. Kline and Jason Tomaszewski's "The Worst Ideas Ever" started fun, chronicling the worst public mistakes in history, like New Coke, Wendy's "Where's the Beef" fiasco and TV shows that jump the shark... but then it dives into politics and social affairs that derails the last third of the book.   Then, "Not a Match" by Brian Donovan, stories of the author's bad dates in a search of a relationship.  Good at times, boring at times, it was amusing but forgettable. 

Then, I picked up Carlos Whittaker's "Making Moments", and let me tell ya, it hit me.  This book resonated with me in a way that few books do.  I love this completely through, especially the one line that simply says:

I make moments on a daily basis, because I want to know that when life has decided it's had enough of me, it's gonna be because it's exhausted from trying to keep up.

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  That.  That's exactly my goal for being.  It's not very long, and it's a quick read... could be my favorite book of the year?  Maybe?  We'll see.

The next one off the shelf was another winner... Judy Greer's hysterical memoir, "I Don't Know What You Know Me From: Confessions of a Co-Star".  She's one of my favorite actresses, and to me, one of the most beautiful women in the business, so when I heard she had something coming out, I actually had it on pre-order (she joins Stephen King and Jon Acuff as the only three that I've ever pre-ordered on Audible), and started it the day it was released (and finished it the next day).  It's a riot.  Judy tells stories about movies, her co-stars, anecdotes about blind dates and random happenings in and around Hollywood... and she also talks about doing her own laundry, cleaning her own house and cooking the family dinner.  If Hollywood and/or celebrity and/or funny lady stories interest you at all, pick this one up.

An older John Grisham novel, "The King of Torts" came next, telling the story of a young public defender who takes on the case of a homeless dude accused of a random street killing.  But we know there is more to it than this, there is always more to it than this, and so the story unfolds, involving Big Pharma, large settlements and suspense all around.  And unlike many of his more recent works, the ending of the book was quite satisfying.

Then we get to Bryan Bishop's "Shrinkage: Manhood, Marriage and the Tumor that Tried to Kill Me".  He's known as "Bald" Bryan on The Adam Carolla show, one of the most popular podcasts in the world (and one I listen to daily) and he's also the co-host for another great show, The Film Vault (which I also listen to)... Bryan was diagnosed with an inoperable brain cancer several years ago, and this memoir tells the story of his upbringing, his involvement with show business, radio, production and podcasting, his meeing of the love of his life, Christy, and then the discovery of, diagnosis of, and treatment of brain cancer.

On one hand, its a riot, as Bryan keeps it lighthearted, telling stories from his life, and on the other hand, its heart breaking as he and Christy spend hours, days in tears, unsure of the next step, as she--his fiance when diagnosed--loves him fiercely and takes care of him beautifully.  In many ways, its a love story as much as a biography of survival.  I listened to this while on the way to my hometown last year, to meet up with family and divide up my grandmother's (who helped raised me) belongings, so this story of life and love got me at just the right time. 

After three home runs (Whittaker, Judy, Bryan) and a double (Grisham), I was due for a strike out, and one came in the form of "Double Down" by Mark Halpern and John Heilemann, which is the recap of the 2012 elections.  They are the same guys who wrote the absolutely brilliant "Game Change", which was the 2008 elections, and though you can easily tell they are on the left wing side of the political aisle, "Game Change" was compelling story telling while not going too far left in its opinions.  Even a excoriating of Sarah Palin was permissable, as it also did a number on Hillary Clinton and especially John Edwards (full disclosure: I love Sarah Palin. Don't want her as my president, but love her still). 

"Double Down", however, is essentially one long love letter to Barack Obama.  Sure, it does give a little ding in the armor of The Big O, but it steamrolls Mitt Romney like crazy.  For every slightly negative remark on Obama--which it then makes up for by trying to explain it away--it blasts Mitt for any number of issues.  While it didn't surprise me, it was disappointing to have the book head south quickly, especially after "Game Change" was so great.

Book 19 of the year brought it back, with Stephen King's "Mr. Mercedes"... oh, so good.  While people line up at a job fair in the early morning hours, a driver plows a Mercedes Benz through the crowd, killing 8, injuring over a dozen more, especially after he backs up and charges again.  The car is found empty, the killer having gotten away.  He then sends a letter to retired cop Bill Hodges, taunting him with what has happened and promising more.  Bill pulls himself out of his depression and is determined to find the killer before more violence happens.  And unexpectedly, he's joined by a few people to help him do it.  It's not a horror story, its a good-vs-evil cat and mouse game, and it's well done. 

"American Me" is the name of Adam Carolla's third book,. and while I liked it, it's likely the least favorite of the three he's done so far.  It's his take on the American government, his rants against how stupid our country is right now, and how he'd fix it.  Obviously, its filled with language and insults, which is what makes him funny.  I enjoyed it, but "Not Taco Bell Material" is much better in my opinion. 

I was strangely drawn to "The Law of Superheroes", written by James Daily and Ryan Davidson, but I'm not sure why.  Perhaps it was the premise itself... taking comic book characters and some of their more popular storylines and see how they would fit in the American legal system.  Like, should Wolverine's adamantium claws be declared weapons when coming across the border?  Should Superman's X-Ray vision be banned as an invasion of privacy?  When Batman ties up a criminal and leaves him hanging, should that criminal be released immediately by the cops for unlawful capture?  How does Nick Fury get away with what he gets away with when leading S.H.I.E.L.D.?  When Captain America is killed, should his murderer be released from prison when Cap comes back to life? 

I know you have been thinking the same things... and I would tell you about it, but I don't remember how to.  It explains the legalese as it goes along, but it does get mired down in legal terms that had me struggling to keep up.  I loved this book as I was reading it, but forgot much of it after I finished it, because I'm not good at retaining the information. 

Not sure how I heard of Paige Rawl, but somehow I clued in on her biography "Positive".  She was born with HIV due to a bad father, and has had to live with that growing up.  She kept it a secret until early in middle school when she confided in her at-the-time best friend.  Somehow that best friend shared it with the wrong person, and it was then spread everywhere that Paige had AIDS.  She was then the subject of relentless taunting, teasing, bullying and so on, not only verbally, but through notes left in her locker, text messages she would get, phone calls and so on.  Worse yet, the school she attended would do nothing about it, almost considering it to be her fault. 

The book is heartbreaking and infuriating at the cruelness of kids (and especially teachers and people who could've helped) and sad when the low point involved a bottle of sleeping pills.  But when Paige emerges through the darkness... you knew she would... its cheer worthy and makes you smile.  Unfortunately, it's when the book turns really happy that the narrative itself drops off, so the last 1/4th of the book became a "gotta finish this", but the first 2/3rd of the book does make it worth it.

Book 23 of 2014 was a football book I found, called "The System: The Glory and Scandal of Bigtime College Football", by Jeff Benedict and Armen Keteyian.  Each chapter takes another story and/or scandal from the world of college football and spells it out--from the hiring and firing of Mike Leach at Texas Tech for locking the player in a storage shed to how Alabama wrangled Nick Saban from the Miami Dolphins to the horrible way Lane Kiffen sold out his Tennessee hostesses when they (as the story goes) did exactly what the coaches asked them to do in recruiting to the horrible BYU rape scandal where (again, as the story goes) a few football players walked away unblemished while the girls were left to deal with it.

It does tell several great stories from BYU and other colleges as well, though, so it's not just a "football sucks!" book. I was thoroughly entertained.

After seeing the movie, I dove into "This is Where I Leave You" by Jonathan Tropper, and was delighted.  I don't read a ton of fiction, and even then, its either classic stuff I felt I should have read (I've been putting off Anne of Green Gables for two years), or by authors that I am very familiar with (King, Grisham, maybe now Gillian Flynn), so picking up a book by someone I'd never heard of was a little rare.  Of course, the movie helped, but still.

I loved this book all the way through.  Judd Foxman, his older sister Wendy, older brother Paul and younger brother Philip all come together for the first time in a long while to mourn their father who had just passed, all under the watchful eye of relationship author and over sexed mother.  Each of the siblings have their own issues, significant others, children and so on, and I found the characters to be rich and even while some are horrible people, they are still entertaining.  Great story.

My 25th book of 2014 was a quick read, as podcaster, author and speaker (and of course, Disneyphile) Lou Mongello released "102 Ways to Save Money For and At Walt Disney World", and being a Disney magic planner, I had to read it.  I actually read most of it while eating a solo lunch at the Ghengis Grill (the book was fun, the meal was meh), and for someone who has been involved in Disneyana for some time now, most of it was reminders.  For the newbies, its a lot of great information--and even has a bonus section of "40 Free Things To Enjoy, Eat, Do & Collect" which is fun and full of ideas.

Alrighty... tomorrow, just a few more to go.... PLUS, my top ten favorite books read in 2014...

top ten blogging in 2014

At the risk of being one of those blog sites who says "Hey, everyone come see how good I look!" or maybe "Hey, everyone come be moved by my brilliant words and the amazing way I put thoughts into verbal emotions!"... I thought this year's end might be a good idea to do something different.

For the first several years of the blogsite, maybe 2005 to 2011, I did a "Coolest 100 Things of the Year", and they were a collection of people, music, movies, events, life happenstances, books and more that I experienced or discovered for the first time in that particular year... and I'll honestly say, sometimes it was met with controversy over who/what got in, who/what got out, and a lighthearted look back for me turned into a little drama here and there, which made it not worth it. Oh, and I got lazy (what's new?) and even finished my favorite 100 things of 2011 IN the year 2013. I decided that was that for that segment.

But now, I look back at the year on the blog, and see that I've managed 85 posts (not counting this one). That number seems a bit inflated, as I participated in--and succeeded--in a challenge that had me blogging 33 straight days from late September to early November. Considering that is more blogging than I did from March thru September in total, "85" is a deceptive number, but here we are anyway.

January set forth my first writing challenge of the year, where I attempted to write an average of 500 words per day for the month. Then I set my goals for the year 2014, in Part One and then Part Two... and will probably give a post next week to let you know how I did (batting .300 is great in baseball right? Why can't it be okay for real life?).
As I mentioned before, October brought a 31 Day writing challenge, which I #humblebrag in saying that I more than completed. There are other challenges I failed to meet, like my attempt to take on the 100 Happy Days phase that is/was all over Instagram and Facebook, and what I was to call "My Summer of Happy", with 100 posts about things I enjoy. But I've come to learn that I can't give myself a topic, such as "Happy things", and expect myself to blog about that same topic for post upon post upon post... mostly because I'm all over the map, as anyone who has been here more than a few times will see.

So, for anyone new to the blog, or if you just want the good stuff, here are the ten posts this year that I really, really liked. And that's not including my homage to the late, great Casey Kasem... thoughts on Clint Eastwood's "Any Which Way You Can"... thoughts on Pitbull both here and here (yes--TWO posts about Pitbull. What.)... and writing with and without a filter.

2014's Top Ten, as chosen by me, based not only on popularity but also how much pride I had in it when re-reading it..

10... We decided to start (or, start again for the 10,000th time) on our spring cleaning. And when you have a pile of junk in the garage, it's worth documenting some of the strange things you come across. My friend Writer Chris Holmes said this was one of his favorite posts I've ever written... for pictures of not only rubber chickens and Microsoft 2003, but also the General Lee, here's "Things We Found In the Garage" from January 5th.

9... Sometimes as a writer, you just have to write, and sometimes it doesn't make any sense at all. Sometimes it's just a bunch of random words late at night that for whatever reason, a bunch of people tell they read and laughed at and enjoyed. What did I write? Nothing but the "Things Carly Simon Made Me Say Late at Night" from January 27th.

8... The fervor of the "Washington Redskins is a racist nickname" hit a fever pitch this past summer and I sat back and watched carefully, deciding where I fell on the issue (which is, that "Redskins" is not racist, or if it is, it's suspect to suddenly come after it now, after all this time). However, when a select few members of the University of Mississippi release a report saying how they are offended by the school's "Rebel" mascot... well, I just had to join in and declare "Ole Miss is Racist!". From August 9th.

7... I think one of my favorite posts from the last several years was actually one written in 2013, all about inclusion, which I'm passionate about (and likely fail miserably at doing). Another story was brought up in my mind this past spring, as I noticed on Facebook a high school friend of mine was having a birthday. I hadn't thought about him in years, and yet, the story of "Kenny Weeks & Wall Street Football" came rushing back--and had to be shared. From March 5th.

6... I love discussing pop culture, and I love making lists. So when I can do the two of them together, and talk about OutKast, Garth Brooks, Expose, Bob Seger, Janet Jackson, Taylor Swift, Fergie and more, I do it. All are including in my "Playlist for Hustla's", from January 17th.

5... With recent events in my own life (that I cannot share right here on this site, but you are welcome to ask about it), the words "leap of faith' stand out strong in my heart and mind. So re-reading this one made me smile. Because sometimes, you just have to get on that skateboard of life and ride... worried about safety? Remember that "You Can't Be Safe on a Skateboard". From February 4th.

4... Sometimes its the memories we have from our childhood that resonate with us 30 years later, much like this story from Samson Elementary, involving GI Joe, Wonder Woman and an unnamed kid who's spoils fuel the creativity of an unpopular 5th grader. It's all about getting "Clarity from an Invisible Jet", from February 10th.

3... Every year on his birthday, I make a note to Campbell, something I hope he will read when he gets older. This year's letter was popular with readers. From November 30th, "To Campbell, on Your 3rd Birthday" (his b'day is December 1st, it just got published literally 20 minutes from midnight, giving it a 11/30 publish date instead of a 12/1 date. Details, details.)

2... Ah, marriage. And pride. And pride in marriage can be a bad thing sometimes. It's a little story about butting heads as a husband and wife, and a lesson that "Pride Goeth Before the Squeeze" from February 24th.

And my favorite post of the year that I've written...

1... Autism is tough. It's a hard thing to push through, and it's tempting to wallow in parental misery about all the things you are missing. But one thing we are learning, re-learning and telling ourselves over and over is that The Lovely Steph Leann and I have to remember to "Don't Mourn the Can't, Instead Love the Can"

So there ya go... if you like one or more of those posts, then you'll enjoy the blog. If you clicked on a couple and decided "this guys sucks!", then I have a feeling this blogsite won't be for you. But you should come anyway, in case I write something that you do like! 

Thanks for reading.

ole miss losses, auburn wins and florida still sucks

This is a few days late from my normal round-up, but here’s what I saw from this past weekend’s college football extravaganza

FIRST… OLE MISS LOSES IN THE MOST OLE MISS WAY POSSIBLE
Their star receiver has the ball, running in the end zone with less than a minute to put Ole Miss ahead, forcing Auburn to have to score a touchdown in the remaining 20 seconds or so. It was perfect, as Auburn would suffer it’s second defeat of the season, likely being eliminated from the Football Final Four. Ole Miss would show the nation that it can rebound from an upset loss last week to an improving LSU, and even moreso, make the Egg Bowl, vs Mississippi State, later this season a monumental bout.

And yet, not only did Laquon Treadwell fumble the ball, he fumbled it as a result of his ankle being caught under a tackling Auburn player, an ankle that snapped, while his head gets clocked from the affronting tackler, and another flying Auburn guy coming in at the last second.

Auburn holds on, and are forced to subdue their celebration. It’s a brutal way to lose a game… because not only did they lose a hard fought, up-until-then excellent game against a top five opponent, a de facto elimination game, they lost it on a mistake made by a star player who was taken out of not just the game, but the season.

SECOND… AUBURN WINS IN THE MOST AUBURN WAY POSSIBLE
Like it or hate it, the Auburn Tigers roll on. They are a great team, perhaps the best team in the country… sure, they lost to Mississippi State, but if they play on a neutral field, I’d put my money on Auburn. I believe that Auburn wins out, including a win over Alabama, because they have played the most rugged schedule of anyone. And that Kansas State win, in Kansas, looks really good right about now.

They beat Ole Miss. It was a crazy ending, a heartbreaking ending, but they won the game. And move on.

THIRD… TCU WILL WIN THE BIG XII
Maybe their defense doesn’t look all that good, but they figure, heck, we’ll just score more points than you and win it that way. Texas Christian is going to win out, as the Big XII front loads their hard games. If they can get past Kansas State this weekend, and I think they will, an 11-1 Big XII Champ that scores like, 187 points per game will be hard to ignore come playoff time.

FOURTH… ARKANSAS IS THE OLD MISSISSIPPI STATE
Like, every year until this year, State was that team that was always pretty good, but not really good, and most teams like Alabama, Auburn, Georgia, LSU and the like would be favored against… but if you weren’t prepared for them, they’d beat you and ruin your season. Well, now that Hail State has moved up into the echelon of top SEC teams—for now, anyway—Arkansas has fallen into that role. They almost beat Alabama. They were a play away from beating Georgia. They lost to State by a touchdown. And in two weeks, they’ll likely lose to LSU, but will make them work for it.

FIFTH… WEST VIRGINIA IS THE MISS STATE ARKANSAS OF THE BIG XII
Like Arkansas is this year, and Hail State usually is, it’s the Mountaineers of West Virginia that cause the damage. Beating Baylor, taking TCU down to the final few minutes, they are the fly in the ointment of everyone who comes to Morgantown.

SIXTH… FLORIDA STILL SUCKS
Sure, they beat Georgia. But let’s be clear… had they beaten Alabama, there would be cause for celebration. Had the Gators knocked off Ole Miss, or Auburn, then let’s tear the goal posts down. If they beat Florida State, especially in a blowout, then heck, it’ll be insane. But… they beat Georgia. Don’t get me wrong, Georgia is a good team and all, but everyone expects Georgia to lose one, maybe two games they are supposed to win. They already lost to South Carolina (that’s one) and then to Florida (that’s two). They’ll likely lose to Auburn at home, and still back into the SEC title game.

Freakin’ Will Muschamp. He was supposed to lose and all but guarantee his dismissal by the end of the year. And now? He has an outside shot to keep his job, especially if they back into the SEC East title and the conference championship. He can’t even get fired correctly.

AND FINALLY… THE BIZARRO SEC EAST
We can all admit that at the least, the SEC West is a good division. I’ve been on message boards recently, and people are not bashing the power of the West, they are bashing ESPN’s eternal coverage of it. I can see that, but honestly, you are fooling yourself if you don’t put the West at the top in terms of “best divisions in college football”. What divisions will you put ahead of it? Exactly. Sure, you can argue for Florida State being the only thing that matters in the ACC Coastal Atlantic Leaders East or whatever division they are in (does it matter? No one cares about the ACC except for FSU, Miami, sometimes Clemson and VA Tech every third year), but the only people really defending FSU’s dominance are Florida State fans and that’s it.

The SEC West is four teams—and if you count LSU as the powerhouse spoiler, five—battling for supremacy. The SEC East? Like, what? Vandy sucks, Tennessee, though improving, won’t stop sucking til at least next year, Florida is all over the place, Kentucky continues to give you hope only to let you down after Week 6, South Carolina is nothing more than Spurrier’s hobby at the point, and that leaves Georgia and Missouri.. Mizzou has a shot at the title, but Georgia still leads the division… but Florida could still get in? It’s like, no one wants to win this division at all… which makes sense, because it’s a little like the play-in game in March Madness—hype and hoopla and celebration to win a game that puts you in another game, where you’ll be slaughtered by whatever the #1 seed is.

Either Georgia, Florida or Missouri is fighting to not be the team that loses by 27 to Alabama, Miss State or Auburn.

MY NEW TOP TEN
1. Mississippi State
2. Auburn
3. Alabama
4. TCU
5. Florida State
6. Oregon
7. Georgia
8. Ole Miss
9. Arizona State
10. Michigan State

MY FOOTBALL FINAL FOUR RIGHT NOW
1) Mississippi State… 2) Florida State… 3) Auburn… 4) TCU

good bo or bad bo: saturday's football

As I've done in the last few weeks, here's my take on what happened today in the world of college football... as I type, there is about 6 minutes left in the USC/Utah battle, with USC leading 21-17, with the Trojans deep in their own territory. Here's the day:

First... Good Bo and Bad Bo Is Not a Good Thing, Its a Bad Thing

Ole Miss quarterback Bo Wallace is a great player. The problem is, everyone asks themselves before Ole Miss plays, "Will we get 'Good Bo' or 'Bad Bo' tonight?" Folks, that's a problem. If your quarterback is unreliable enough that you actually have nicknames for your playing levels, that's not good. Apparently, it was Bad Bo tonight... Ole Miss went into Death Valley to play LSU, and the carriage turned into a pumpkin for the Rebels dream season... 17-10, in a defense struggle, Ole Miss leaves with their first loss of the season.

Not only that, but the last :15 seconds were just bizarre... with :09 left on the clock, Les Miles calls a timeout to "ice" instead of sending their guy in a field goal attempt--and yes, because of a stupid penalty, at 47 yards it was right on the edge of their kicker's abilities--coach Hugh Freeze does this trickeration where Bo tosses a quick pass which was.... intercepted./

Not only did the timeout actually ice the coach, that's a lesson Freeze learned the hard way... it's very hard to out Les Miles Les Miles.

Update... 17 seconds left, Utah has the ball at the 1/2 yard line

Second... Auburn's Defense Just Showed Up to the Game... Two Hours After It Finished
What defense? Auburn scored 42 but gave up 35, in a game that was closer than that. The South Carolina Fightin' Spurriers nearly had their way with Auburn, but did what Spurrier usually does... they somehow found a way to lose. So an Ole Miss loss and an Auburn win sets up...

Third... A One Game Playoff
I love this four team playoff system. Love it. Love it. LOVE it. When there were two teams only, according to the BCS, many of the games we are watching are moot--I mean, they are important, but one loss really just knocks you out. With Florida State playing Bessemer Tech at home and then the Colorado School of Mines later, they'll be undefeated, meaning everyone would playing to get that one single spot against FSU... so there would be about three teams with a legit shot.

Update... Utah just scored, 8 seconds left, will be 24-21 after the PAT is made.

Now? Like, at least a dozen teams have a shot at the four spots... Florida State, Alabama, Mississippi State, Auburn, Ole Miss, Ohio State, Michigan State, Baylor, TCU, Notre Dame, Georgia... they win out, they have a legit shot at the Football Final Four.

And next week... Auburn playing at Ole Miss. Both have one single loss to a ranked opponent. 

Update... Utah wins the game, 24-21, their first win over USC, and now become bowl eligible for the first time since 2011.

The loser of the Auburn/Mississippi game is likely out of the mix of the Football Final Four. Oh, there's a chance that the loser may make it with 2 losses, but not likely. That loser will still probably make a New Year's Six bowl game, but not the playoffs.

Fourth... The B1G's One Game Playoff
Michigan State, who's one loss came to the Oregon Ducks, which is still a pretty good team, plays Ohio State, who's one loss came at home to Virginia Tech, which is not a very good team... I think Michigan State is a great team who has rebounded nicely from their loss, pimp slapping the Meeeeechigan Wolverines today. I think Ohio State is still a paper tiger... if they beat Michigan State, I think the B1G gets left out of the Football Final Four. If Michigan State beats OSU, I think they have a shot at it.

Fifth... TCU Scores. And Scores. And Scores. And Scores. And Scores. And Scores. And Scores. And Scores.
Texas Christian absolutely steamrolled Texas Tech, dropping 82 on the Red Raiders. And Kansas State shuts out Texas. And West Virginia knocks off Oklahoma State. The Big XII is so up in the air, it's crazy... and what's crazier is that we are discussing TCU, Kansas State, West Virginia AND Baylor, and NOT Oklahoma and Texas for conference supremacy. 

Personally, I would love a 4 or 5 way tie for the championship, though I don't like that the ultimate tiebreaker is to let the 12 person Football Playoff Committee decide. I think the ADs of the conference should do that job... but either way, the Big XII is almost as exciting now as the SEC West. Almost.

Sixth... Georgia Could Still Win the Whole Thing
With all the talk of the SEC West, people are forgetting that Georgia is sitting over there at 6-1, with nearly guaranteed wins over Florida, Kentucky and Chuck-Southern to come. Auburn will be their only real test, but even if the Dawgs lose, they go into the SEC Title game at 10-2, and if they win, I don't know that anyone else from the SEC will go in. And Georgia could beat Florida State. Most of the top five could, really.

Seventh... Dumpster Fires Everywhere
Florida. Texas. Michigan. In flames. Three storied programs, three programs that just.. well, suck. Michigan can't do anything with Brady Hoke... Florida can't do anything with Will Muschamp... and though Texas is on the right track with Charlie Strong, it may take a season or two to right the ship. And I would imagine that the pressure in Austin is similar to that you'd find in Tuscaloosa--we need to win, and win very, very soon.

My Football Final Four Right Now... 1. Mississippi State... 2. Florida State... 3. TCU... 4. Alabama

My Top Ten
1-Mississippi State
2-Alabama
3-Auburn
4-Florida State
5-Oregon
6-Georgia
7-Ole Miss
8-Notre Dame
9-TCU
10-Michigan State

college weekend roundup

So, here I am, for the third week in a row, giving my recap for the college football Saturday that was. Not nearly as much chaos as when the college world exploded a few weeks ago, but a few upsets that give a few observations as usual...

First... Oklahoma. They Were Who We Thought They Were
That Boomer Sooner wagon that comes rolling out and around the field was essentially driven into the ditch and left for dead. Kansas State came into Norman, Oklahoma, and left with another victory over the Sooners. Pat Forde said something to the effect of "Stop me if you've heard this before... Oklahoma enters the season highly ranked and looks like they will make a run at the title, only to slowly play their way out of contention." 

And to that I say, "Oklahoma... ready to play a better, yet uninspired SEC team in the Cotton Bowl on New Year's Day." 

You could easily make the argument that Oklahoma lost the game, rather than K-State winning it, because the kicker (YOU HAD ONE JOB!) shanked a 19 yard field goal at the end, but my reply to such an argument has always been--the game should never come down to a missed field goal... your offense shouldn't put the kicker in that position.

Second... Auburn's Win over K-State Looks Really Good Right Now
Oklahoma's failings aside, Kansas State is a pretty good ball club. When Auburn went into K-State's home field and eked out a victory, and it was derided as "struggling to beat a mediocre ball club" (something Florida State has done several times this year). And now Kansas State has beaten the Sooners, are 5-1, are strong contenders for the Big XII title, and suddenly have an outside shot of making the Football Final Four.

Third... The Pac 12 This Year is What Everyone Thought the SEC Would Be
It's true. All we heard was how the SEC is down, missing key players and quarterbacks, and will likely have 2 losses per team, and might struggle to even make the Football Final Four. Well, the Pac 12 is exactly that. They are completely cannibalizing each other, the latest being Arizona State beating Stanford a few minutes ago. The SEC has four really great teams, one or two really good teams, and then the rest. The Pac 12 has no really great teams, but a bunch of really good teams that are just beating each other. 

Fourth... Muschamp? Like, MusCHUMP
Will Muschamp will soon enter the Hall of Shame alongside Ron Zook as a Florida coach who just couldn't get it done. Missouri went into the Swamp in Gainesville, and did what so many other teams are doing now... beat Florida. Handily. Like 42-13. There is a stat that tells you all you need to know... teams that hold the other team to less than 140 total yards (maybe its 120, maybe its rushing yards, but you see what I'm saying) are something like, 142-2 lifetime. The two losses? Will Muschamp's Gators. Not sure if he'll make it until Monday.

Fifth... Hawaii Loses
The final college football game of the day is San Diego State and Hawaii, in San Diego. With only a few seconds left in the game, San Diego State will beat Hawaii 20-10. The announcers just said that it's 16 straight road losses for Hawaii, and then he called them "the Rainbow Warriors". Didn't know that was still a thing. Also, this is the fourth straight week that I've stayed up to see the last play of the final game of the day. I like this trend..

Sixth... No Matter What, Jameis Winston Is a Great Player
For all the crap I give Florida State, and for all the opinions I share with many that Winston should be benched because he's got this hearing over his head, no one can deny that he is an amazing football player. Watching him work, watching him fire down the field and lead Florida State to get the go-ahead touchdown, it's pretty impressive. He's just a punk. And that's the problem.

That being said...

Seventh... Notre Dame Was the Better Team
The Irish won the game. It was a questionable holding call at the end, one that I really can't argue, but could have been called either way. Don't know his name, but the dude who held the FSU defender in the end zone, which resulted in offensive pass interference, which resulted in the touchdown with about :13 seconds left to be called back... that dude cost the Irish a shot at the national title... if the Irish win this game, they are likely to go undefeated again. However, it's what I said earlier about Oklahoma's kicker, and the same goes for the Irish--your team shouldn't be in that position anyway. 

The Seminoles will definitely go undefeated, because they just don't play anyone the rest of the year. For all the talk about the B1G being a crap conference, the ACC is pretty terrible.

Finally... Alabama Just Scored
They literally could have dropped 83 points on Texas A&M... nothing, and I mean nothing went right for the Aggies today. No defense, hostile environment and they just got outplayed in every way. And don't we remember in Week One, when they dominated South Carolina, how Kenny Hill was now on track for the Heisman, and how A&M was likely to be a Final Four Team? I'll brag and say I was one of the few people on social media that was like "yeah, let's just wait a few weeks to see what happens..."

It's notable that this time last year, Auburn was 24th in the rankings... and went on to win the SEC and come a few seconds from winning the national title... and Michigan State was unranked... and went on to a Top Five finish, a B1G title and a Rose Bowl win. 

So again, we don't know jack.

My Football Final Four this week...

The Can Happen Edition: (1) Mississippi State... (2) Auburn... (3) Florida State... (4) TCU
The Should-Happen Edition: (1) Mississippi State... (2) Auburn... (3) Alabama... (4) Florida State...

And my top ten
1-Mississippi State
2-Ole Miss
3-Auburn
4-Florida State
5-Alabama
6-TCU
7-Oregon
8-Georgia
9-Kansas State
10-Notre Dame

why florida state should bench jameis winston

The following is my opinion. Agree, disagree, that's fine, but this is how I see it.

FSU QB Jameis Winston was informed that sometime this week, he'll be facing a disciplinary hearing concerning his alleged misconduct and charge of sexual assault from 2013. This is a total mess. While I don't always believe the NYTimes, they have released a damning report on Florida State's disciplinary--or lack thereof--actions, and there have been charges that FSU sorta, kinda hindered the whole investigation.

I don't know what to believe, to be honest with you. I'd like to believe that Winston is just a punk that does dumb stuff like steal crab legs and stand on tables and yell obscene things, like some college guys do, and not that he would actually be a rapist. However, with everything happening in our sports culture today, it would benefit all parties for Florida State to bench Winston indefinitely, until this is resolved.

The backup QB, Sean Maguire, did a dandy of a job defeating Clemson earlier this season, when Winston was suspended for a game for his little potty mouth stunt (but plays through all the sexual assault allegations), so I think Maguire would do a dandy of a job against Notre Dame. The next several FSU games wouldn't be difficult if Florida State is truly the most complete team that they are declared to be--Louisville, Virginia, Miami, Boston College and then Florida, all very winnable games.

Benching Jameis Winston allows Florida State to answer its critics, to show that it's doing something about it's latest reputation. It shows that they care about the integrity of its football team. It allows Winston to push through this latest bit of trouble without distractions, to get it resolved and be finished with all of it. 

We have witnessed Georgia suspending Todd Gurley for autographs, an NCAA illegality that forced Manziel to sit out half a game last year, and that Winston actually has had trouble with. We've seen Florida drop Treon Harris immediately, as soon as he was accused of sexual assault a few weeks ago. Gurley's fate is still up in the air, while Harris' accuser dropped the charges--Florida reinstated him immediately, but Harris still didn't play against LSU Saturday night, which probably cost the Gators the game, as Driskel was forced to play... the Gators lost late by 3. 

Jameis Winston has been accused of sexual assault and rape. The school has now been accused of being a little sketchy in their internal investigation. It's time to sit him for a game or two until everything its cleared up and the truth is discovered. 

My thoughts.

another big college day

In an effort to write something, anything, last Saturday night, I did my own little opinion piece on where we were after one of the most topsy turvy days we've had in college football in a long, long time.

So, since it's Saturday night still, and despite what the date says on this post, this was begun on October 11th, with seven minutes left in the day.

Last weekend, I harkened that we don't know jack. I still think that, but we do know a little more than we did. Observations:

First... State is King
Mississippi State is the best team in the country. They put a whoopin' on what I was considering the best team in the country, Auburn, and even though they won 38-23, it wasn't that close. State just tore up the Tigers in every way, storming out to a 21-0 lead, then holding on, answering Auburn every time they tried to mount a comeback. 

Second... I Was Wrong
Last week I said that Miss State was good, Ole Miss was lucky... well, I was wrong. Ole Miss is good. They beat up on Texas A&M, in College Station, in another game that wasn't close. I think State is still better, and Ole Miss has looked very good against two teams that are reeling (A&M this week, Alabama last week), while State has defeated three teams that, at the time, were nearly at the top of their game--LSU, A&M and Auburn.

Third... Defense? Defense, anyone?
Baylor and TCU are insane. Texas Christian was up by 24, and yet Baylor come back and win. However, as someone on Facebook put it, any team that gives up 58 points and still wins doesn't deserve to be ranked very high... true, but what a game anyway. 

Fourth... Florida State Does Their Thing
I didn't see a second of the Florida State/Syracuse game, except for what was featured in a few highlights... FSU is FSU. They look great against mediocre teams. They are the cream of the ACC, but would be probably 4th or 5th in the SEC West... maybe 2nd or 3rd in the Pac 12... and maybe 2nd or 3rd in the Big XII. But playing in the ACC, they are going to run the table. I think they'll beat a decent Notre Dame team next week and beat their chests about how good they are.

Sidebar... I started to write a paragraph about why Jameis Winston should be benched until his legal issues are resolved, but after four paragraphs, I decided that would be tomorrow's post. So look for that.

Fifth... Zona Too High
Watching Arizona and USC... I was dubious when Arizona went from like, unranked, to 10th, because they beat Oregon... and they are now looking like they aren't a Top 10 team.  Cause 60 seconds ago, they lost to USC 28-26 on the feet of three missed field goals. So there's that.

Sixth... Alabama is in Trouble
They play sloppy, the offense is a shell of what it was, and the defense is really the only thing keeping them going... but the mystique is gone. Alabama is no longer, at least for this season, the unbeatable powerhouse they once were. I think they'll end up with three losses this season... having already lost to Ole Miss, I see them losing to Mississippi State and Auburn, for a 9-3 year in which the Tide Nation loses its mind, called for Lane Kiffen's head and a small part of them start questioning if Saban can get it done anymore. Hashtag HAAAYPAAWWWLLLL... Finebaum on Monday should be a hoot.

Seventh... Sooners and Dawgs
Oklahoma and Georgia both looked good. Oklahoma let Texas hang around far too long, but because it's a rivalry game, I kinda let that go. Boomer Sooner kept Texas down, leaving them at 2-4 for the first time since 1956. Georgia, in losing Todd Gurley for his stupid suspension, just obliterated Missouri on the road, 34-0. They dominated that game in every possible way. 

Eighth... Sparty and the Ducks Again
Michigan State won their game as needed, Oregon smashed UCLA in the mouth, and only Oregon has a shot at the Football Final Four. Cause Michigan State shouldn't have given up that many points to Purdue, winning 45-31.

Finally, The Gators Are Just Awfule
LSU came into Gainesville, into The Swamp, a place where it used to be hard to win for the road team, a place that was loud and obnoxious and boisterous and now, LSU comes in and handles Florida. I watched the last part of that game in disbelief as screwed up here, screwed up there, and dropped a game winning pass into the end zone that, no joke, I could have caught. They are terrible. Will Muschamp is as good as gone.

My new top ten...
1) Mississippi State, 6-0
2) Ole Miss, 6-0
3) Florida State, 6-0
4) Baylor, 6-0
5) Notre Dame, 6-0
6) Auburn, 5-1
7) Georgia, 5-1
8) Oregon, 5-1
9) Alabama, 5-1
10) Oklahoma, 5-1

My Football Final Four this week... 1) Mississippi State... 2) Florida State... 3) Baylor... 4) Oregon or Ole Miss... though if the Pac 12 champ as 2 losses, they won't get in over a 1 loss SEC team...


Read "Why FSU Should Bench Jameis Winston"

we don't know jack

Once again, I revel in the fact that I can spend most Saturdays watching college football all day, and today was one of those special days when the whole College Football World went to Hell and back.

Skies turning to blood, the rivers running red, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

I watched as the 12th ranked Mississippi State Bulldogs ran roughshod all over #6 Texas A&M Aggies, then as #11 Ole Miss somehow, someway knocked off #3 Alabama, which was followed by the 5th ranked Auburn Tigers throttling the 15th ranked LSU Tigers, in a game that wasn't as close as the 41-7 score may seem. 

25th ranked TCU edged out 4th ranked Oklahoma, then unranked Kentucky came storming back to tie South Carolina, then let them blow the Wildcats out, then came storming back again to win the game.

In a Hail Mary last second pass to the end zone, Arizona State beat the 16th ranked USC Trojans--a few days after their state-counterpart Arizona knocked off the #2 team, Oregon.

And now, I just finished watching the 10th ranked Michigan State Spartans hold off a furious 4th quarter rally by the 19th ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers, a rally that saw the Huskers score three touchdowns in 10 minutes, and were it not for the interception thrown in the last 30 seconds, would have had a real shot of beating Sparty.

This is why I love college football... so here are my observations, before the new rankings come out, before Utah and #8 UCLA finish their game, where Utah is up by 10 in the 3rd quarter.

First... We Don't Know Anything
We thought we knew that Florida State, Oregon and Alabama were in the Football Final Four, and that fourth spot would either go to either another SEC team like Texas A&M or even Auburn, or probably Oklahoma would win the Big XII and take it. 

But now? Florida State struggles to beat EVERYONE... sure, they blew out Wake Forest today, but they started slow, Jameis Winston had a rough first few possessions, and FSU has been lucky to play against teams that would let them catch back up and win. And they play in the ACC, which might as bad as the Big Ten. 

And now, Oklahoma, Alabama and Oregon all have a loss. It's not the end of the world for either, as if any of them win out, they'll likely find themselves in a position to win their conferences anyway. But it got a lot tougher.

Second... Ole Miss is LUCKY and Mississippi State is GOOD
We watched the Ole Miss/Alabama game, and it reminded me of the FSU/Clemson game, where the Noles gave the Clemson Tigers every chance in the world to win, and Clemson refused to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Today, Ole Miss took that victory, as Alabama played... well, like crap. Ole Miss wasn't much better, as they dropped passes, missed opportunities and could have scored twice... but Bama played a game full of penalties and stupid mistakes. Alabama is a better team, but Ole Miss snagged the win.

Mississippi State, however, is solid. Perhaps it's that A&M is also not as good as we thought, and QB Kenny Hill isn't as Heismany as we thought, but State controlled that game from start to finish. They had their way with the Aggies like it was a prison shower... it was ridiculous. 

Third... Gary & Verne are Crazy
CBS longtime college commentators Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson are perhaps the most annoying announcers on the television today. If you watch college football, specifically the SEC coverage, you'll know this, so no need to dwell.

However, here's what I didn't like... CBS uses the Coaches Poll for their rankings, perhaps one of the only places that does. This is a big deal because in the Coaches Poll and AP Poll (the more used), Ole Miss is ranked 11th... but Alabama is 3rd in the AP and 1st in the Coaches. So, when Gary and Verne talk about how long it's been since Ole Miss beat a #1 team, it's just false. Perhaps having Alabama ranked 1st makes for a better story than if they were ranked 3rd. 

Fourth... Florida is Still Terrible
My team, the Florida Gators, are now 3-1 after getting by Tennessee 10-9 today. The Gators also had to take multiple overtimes to get past Kentucky, who isn't as bad as we thought (we'll get to that next), and needed a miracle to beat the better-than-last-year-but-still-not-good Volunteers team.. after Gators QB Jeff Driskol was finally benched. We'll find out next week what the Gators will do, when LSU comes to town, but right now, I think Florida is the worst 3-1 team in the country not in the Big Ten.

Fifth... Kentucky Can Win the SEC East
They won't. But who thought they'd even be in contention in October? 

Sixth... The Big Ten is a Cluster Muffin
Thru the first three quarters, as I flipped back and saw snippets of Michigan State's beatdown on Nebraska, I thought to myself "The Spartans might actually be the shining star of the Big Ten Conference... like FSU, they may be the one team a cut above the rest, and could make the Football Final Four". Then, Nebraska roared back in the 4th quarter and nearly beat the Spartans, all because Michigan State just fell apart and couldn't close. And then I remembered why no team from the Big Ten will make the Football Final Four.

Seventh... In a Sick Joke of the Football Gods, Alabama Needs to Root For Auburn
Here's how Alabama makes it back to the SEC Championship game... Auburn needs to win out (including beating Mississippi State and Ole Miss) and Alabama needs to win the rest of their games (including beating State). At some point, they have to hope Ole Miss will lose another along the way.

The Iron Bowl needs to be what it was last year--winner goes to the SEC Title Game. And to impress voters, it would serve the Crimson Tide well to be 11-1, taking on a 12-0 Auburn team, and to beat them. Let's say Alabama loses the SEC Title game to Georgia... there is still a chance Alabama can get that 4th spot in the Football Final Four, if they have beaten a team like 12-0 Auburn. Sure, it would make Alabama happy to play a 9-3 Auburn team, but they'd have to win the SEC outright to get a shot. Make sense?

Georgia is a solid team... but I think Auburn, Mississippi State and even Alabama could beat them, especially if they contained Todd Gurley.

By the way, I think this loss for Alabama might not be a bad thing... it's relatively early in the season, and it makes me think of the New England Patriots in '07 ('08?) who had run to 15-0, taking on the NYGiants in the last week of the season. They struggled to beat the Giants, rolled thru the playoffs, then lost a close one due to mistakes and sloppy play in the Super Bowl... to the NYGiants. 

I have always contended that had the Pats lost the last game, gone 15-1, they would have won the Super Bowl. The "undefeated" would have been off their shoulders, and they would have realized they were not invincible. Bama is similar... they realize now that they are not invincible, that their sloppy play finally caught up to them, and now that "we are the best" is off their shoulders... playing catch up might not be a bad thing for the Tide.

Eighth... We Still Don't Know ANYTHING
It's college football. Next week, Baylor, who is leading the Big XII and looking strong, takes on TCU, who beat Oklahoma today. Baylor hasn't really played anyone of substance, so this game is huge. So suddenly, TCU has to play explosive Baylor, and later Oklahoma State and then Kansas State... Baylor has OK State and K-State too. So if TCU or Baylor comes out undefeated, they are in. But if Baylor beats TCU, then loses to Oklahoma big, Kansas State is like "What about us?" 

If Auburn rolls up to Mississippi State, gets blown out, then beats up on Ole Miss, who then turn around and beats Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl, Alabama is like "Hey, we are still here!"

Florida State will likely lose one. They are playing too loose and clumsy. What happens then?

Utah is beating UCLA right now, which was the unbeaten left in the Pac 12... and they still have to play Oregon. So like, what happens? 

We don't know jack. 

That's why I love college football.


(My current prediction for the Football Final Four is 1-Auburn, 2-UCLA, 3-Baylor and... crap, I dunno... 4-Mississippi State)

ole miss is racist

Report out this week that a few members of the facility of the University of Mississippi are offended now by the term "Ole Miss", which is how the school is commonly referred too.  See, back in the slavery days of the 1800s, slaves were required to call the daughters and wife of the plantation owner not just "miss", but "Ole Miss".  The name evokes pain and suffering to all of those who have slavery roots.


Let me go on record and say that while I know more white people than I do black people, I don't know anyone who has any living relatives that are slaves.


But Ole Miss is a racist name, and we should change it immediately!!!!  People (a few) are offended by this!  It's bad enough that "Running Rebels" is a symbolic gesture of the South in the Confederacy, but to use the words "Ole Miss" with it??? 


Change it, and change it now, before anyone else is offended by this gesture.


Then I got to thinking about more college football teams... THE WHOLE SEC IS RACIST, RACIST, I TELL YOU....


Want proof?   Here...


"War Eagle", the battle cry of the Auburn Tigers?  I mean "War", really?  Glorifying combat and conflict?  That is the opposite of peace.  I'm offended.


"Roll Tide"?  Their mascot is an elephant, which hail from two places... Africa and India.  To invoke the proud elephant into such a violent game is it insinuate that people from those lands want war and love fighting.  I'm offended on their behalf.


The Florida Gators?  The Gator is hunted and killed for their skins and meat, senselessly.  To envoke such a game onto this proud animal is to enjoy the killing of such.  I'm offended on the behalf of animal rights activists


The Vanderbilt Commodores?  The Commodores were a great 70s funk band, led by Lionel Ritchie.  Unfortunately, Vanderbilt is known for a losing tradition... which means, the Commodores are losers.  I'm offended on behalf of any Lionel Ritchie fans and Commodores fans.  Easy indeed.


The LSU Tigers?  Their battle cry is "Geaux Tigers", which hails from a French background.  Using France's name in such a derogatory manner to promote your violent game is to recall another violent battle... the French and Indian war.  Now, I'm offended on behalf of two proud peoples.


The South Carolina Gamecocks?  Did you know a "gamecock" is a chicken?  That's meat, people.  You don't eat meat!  It's cruel!  I'm offended on behalf of all vegans.


The Texas A&M Aggies?  Aggies.  Put an "F" in the front of that, and now you have a horrible gay slur.  I mean, I wouldn't do that, but someone might, and let's be honest, we cannot take that chance.  I'm offended on behalf of the gay community.


The Missouri Tigers?  The Tigers are an endangered species, hunted and killed for their skins and coats.  This use of their animal name is nothing but a promotion of illegal game hunting and poaching.  I'm offended on behalf of all animal lovers.


The Kentucky Wildcats?  The word "cat" is used by the African American community, especially in the 70s, to describe another person.  To take this name, then put a "wild" in front of it, is to assume that because you are of a certain color, you are a wild person.  Like in Africa.  This is an egregious use of this word, and I'm not going to stand for it.  I'm totally offended on behalf of anyone of any color called "cat", ever.


The Tennessee Volunteers?  To "volunteer" means to not get paid.  You know, like not getting paid as much as a man does, if you are a woman?  You know, the gender equality in this country?  Why not just called them the Tennessee Unequally Paid but Harder Working Females?  Because its the white man that makes these names up.  I'm offended on behalf of all women.


The Mississippi State Bulldogs?  The Georgia Bulldogs?  You know what they use in riots to quell the protesters?  Tear gas and dogs.  If I was at Kent State, when all those people were massacred, every time I hear the word "dog", it would bring back painful memories of almost being bitten.  Not sure anyone was bitten during that event, but if they were, my memories would be more painful.  I'm offended on behalf of anyone who's ever been bitten by an animal, bulldog or otherwise.


The Arkansas Razorbacks?  Do you know what a Razorback is?  It's a hog.  Or a pig.  Another animal we brutally slaughter for meat purposes.  An animal that produces things like ham and pork, meats that can be horrible for your system to eat.  Meats that when eaten in excess, can give you blocked arteries, heart attacks, diabetes!  Meaning that every time someone yells "Hog Sooey!", if you have ever had a heart attack, blocked arteries or diabetes, you need to be offended.  No worries. I'm offended for you.


See?  Even the words "Southeastern Conference" is offensive.  "Conference", meaning a meeting, where we can sit around with our bosses and realize how much money someone else is making, and how much money we are NOT making, even though we do most of the work (especially if you are a woman...) and "Southeast"... well, I cannot even describe for you the racial overtones this has, except for three words "Hub of Slavery".

We should get rid of all mascots, because someone might be offended by them.  We cannot call them by their city names, because the people in poor Starkville do not need to be reminded how good people in the wealthier areas of Knoxville might have it.  And we cannot assign them colors, because red (Indian), yellow (Asian), black (Black), white (White), brown (Mexican), purple (sick people), blue (cold people--stupid global warming) will all be offensive.


We need to abolish football completely.  Then, and only then will we have an offense-free society.  Then and only then can we turn on ESPN and not be totally taken aback by the egregious racism that runs rampant through our sport.


or...


...we could be offended by the fact that children are being beheaded in Iraq because they might come from a "Christian" family.  I've seen the pictures.  That offends me.   Just a thought.

the alabama dynasty

Did you watch the game?  Oh you know what game... Alabama's complete destruction of the Notre Dame Fightin' Irish.  I knew it was coming.  I knew that it would be a blowout.  Honestly, I think most Alabama fans knew it, but were afraid to say because of the sports superstitions that dictate saying such predictions jinxes and thereby ruins a win. 



A familiar sight for most of the evening.  Bama celebrating,
Notre Dame looking on, out of breath

But I knew it was coming.  Notre Dame is a team that took 3 overtimes to beat Pitt, who ended up losing to Ole Miss in the BBVA Compass Bowl.  Notre Dame is a good team, even with a sketch schedule, and it takes a lot to go 12-0.  So I give the Fightin' Irish props... but they are about the 6th best team in the SEC.  Alabama, Georgia, LSU, Florida and South Carolina were all better teams, with Mississippi State likely to give them a game.  It wasn't that Notre Dame didn't show up... they showed up.  They just got steamrolled. 

And frankly, I'm surprised the game was a close as it was

I'm a Florida fan.  I'm a Florida Gators fan surrounded by a wave of Alabama fans.  The Lovely Steph Leann is an Alabama graduate.  Her dad is.  Her mom roots for the Tide.  Her sister and brother, and the brother's wife are Alabama graduates.  The Crimson is everywhere, and unfortunately for Campbell Isaiah, he doesn't have a chance.

I graduated from Troy State University, so she has allowed the opportunity to have Campbell become a Troy fan... but using faulty rationale, because I did not go to the University of Florida, I therefore am faulty in rooting for them, and Campbell can therefore not be allowed to do the Gator Chomp at any time. 

(using this rationale eliminated the fandom of 87% of Alabama fans in this state, but that's beside the point... I do contend, however, that he will end up rooting for whoever he wants to.  I say that I get one to turn into a fan, and she gets the next one... The Lovely Steph Leann has claimed Campbell, so it looks like Lorelei Addison will be wearing a Troy Cheerleader outfit while doing the Gator Chomp.  Its only fair.)

The preceding paragraph was the set up to what I want to say, but making sure that you are aware I am not an Alabama fan, or a "Bammer" as the Harvey Updykes of the world are called, but am looking at this as a college football fan...

Here's my thought...

We are in the middle of, and thus bearing witness to, one of the greatest football sports dynasties in all of history. 

And I don't feel bad about saying it.  The Florida Gators winning two titles in three years wasn't a dynasty, they were just a really good football team with a really good quarterback.. TEEEBOOWW!!!!!   Remember, the year in between their titles, they were something like 8-5 or so...

The Alabama Crimson Tide has won 3 BCS Championships in four years.  The state of Alabama has held the BCS title for four years in a row, with Auburn's title coming after Alabama's first (for this run) and before their back-to-backs.

Consider this... in the last five seasons Nick Saban has been at the helm (his first season, there were wins vacated due to earlier infractions, so they only have a 2-6 record that counts), the team has gone 61-7.  That's 61 victories, 7 losses... and 5 of those are in two separate seasons (2 in 2008, 3 in 2010). Beyond that, they have a loss to LSU and one to Texas A&M, earlier this year.

This team is a monster.  And its not that they are good for a season or two (Auburn?), or are good enough to win a title, reload, then contend again (Florida?  LSU?), or are good enough to be good, but not enough to be great (Georgia?), they are good, and great, every year.  Every single year.

Roommates and buddies, center Barrett Jones and QB AJ McCarron had
a disagreement.  It made for one of the only real competitions of the night.
In fact the only time AJ was touched was when his own center gave him
a shove. 

Center Barrett Jones has more championship rings (3) than the Auburn Tigers have as a team (2).  Quarterback AJ McCarron has more championship rings (3) than he does losses as a starting quarterback (2--LSU and A&M).

And when I say "we are the middle of...", I mean it.  When Tim Tebow left Florida in 2009, we knew Florida would take a year or two to rebound.  Urban Meyer up and left, there has been QB after QB who have struggled over and over, and while coach Will Muschamp has them on the right road--a few bounces here and there from Notre Dame and Florida would have been the ones getting blown out in the BCS Championship Game--it has taken a few years. 

Alabama is different.  They are already reloaded for next season, and are preseason contenders and will likely be ranked #1 at the season's beginning.  And this is something that will continue for a while. Sure, they'll lose good classes, some years a mass of seniors will move on, leaving a dearth of underclassmen to carry the weight, and those years, you Bama fans will have to suffer through those dreadful seasons of 9-3 and 10-2--you poor fanbase.

Obviously, the titles won't be every year. As a matter of fact, I predict they won't win the final BCS next year, and will end up in the Sugar Bowl blasting Kansas State 56-7, but that just means they'll have to wait another year or two for "16". 

(I won't get into the whole "15 national championships" thing, and how ridiculous that claim is... while I stand in awe of Alabama, I'm not giving them props for what they don't deserve)

What's worse, for every fan of every other team not named Crimson Tide, is the upcoming playoff system.  From what I gather, one of the reasons that the playoff system is being implemented in 2 years is that other conferences were tiring of the SEC stranglehold on the BCS Trophy, and wanted to do something that didn't put the SEC in the game so often... which backfires, because not every year Alabama will qualify for one of the top two spots... but more often than not, they'll be in the top four, meaning they can play their way to the title game. 

And to me, this also brings up another interesting dynamic... the legend of Bear Bryant vs. the current coach, Nick Saban.  From an outsider looking in, Nick Saban is a better coach. 

Bear Bryant is a legend.  And the key word is "legend".  I'm not taking anything away from him at Alabama, and his 25 years, amassing a record of something like 237-46, a ton of bowl wins, and depending on how you count and who you believe, a bunch of national titles. 

In a great line, Saban was asked, "What do you do with all your
championship rings?  Do you wear them?" and he responded that he
lays them all on the coffee table in front of potential recruits.

But Nick Saban has three titles at Alabama in four years, and four titles to his name if you toss in the LSU one.  He has to deal with restrictions from the NCAA that The Bear never dealt with, from recruiting violations to when you can practice to how much you contact a player to dealing with gifts and money and boosters and so on, with ALL of it being broadcast to the world every minute from everything from Finebaum to Twitter.  A player gets drunk at a party, you know about it.  His own daughter got into a cat-fight at a sorority function, and we knew about it as it was going on. 

Bear Bryant never dealt with any of that.  I don't know how strict the NCAA was on things back in the 60s and 70s, and I know it took the SMU scandal in the 80s for them to really crack down on boosters and such, but I'm guessing that paying players didn't start with Southern Methodist.  (hear me now, I am not accusing Coach Bryant of doing anything illegal or cheating in any way).  Also, conditions in which players could practice weren't regulated (anyone see that movie about Bear at Texas A&M?  I'm sure some of that was real).

My whole point is, Bear Bryant never had to coach in an atmosphere of restrictions and parity that Nick Saban is having to deal with today.  Football players likely did the same things in 1966 as they do now, as did boosters, but you didn't hear about it, or it was easy to cover up then... not so much now. 

Perhaps the actual star of the game, AJ's lady
friend, Katherine Webb.  However, I will not stoop
to the levels of other sites and just toss her picture
up here for effect.  I refuse to do it.  Look else-
where for that. 

What people my age know about Bear Bryant is only stories from our parents and grandparents, and how good he was.  We hear tales of games and victories and names that have long since retired from the NFL or never made it that far and have retired from selling insurance 30 years ago.  What we know now is Nick Saban, and the masterful job he's done at not only Alabama, but Michigan State, Utah and even LSU, as much as we all hate LSU.  Let's be real, everyone hates LSU.  Even LSU fans, they just don't know it yet.

So it becomes a generational argument, and as the legend of Bryant gets passed down from father to son, so grows the Legend of Nick Saban.  I contend that in 20 years, those children who will be age I am now will be discussing Saban in Bryant-like mythos.  And Bear Bryant will eventually become a Knute Rockne figure... someone everyone know was great, but no one really knows what he actually did.  Sorta like people look at George Denny.  You know, the "denny" in Bryant-Denny Stadium.  Exactly.

Anyway, that's my assessment on Alabama.  They are very, very good football team, and will remain so for a long time.  And while wishing the same type of success for the Go Gators, I am recognizing the greatness of what is occurring and the rarity of it all.

There's my thoughts.

the 100 coolest things of 2011... 80 to 71

I just looked around and realized... holy schmoles... its almost October!  And we are no closer to tell you what the Coolest Thing of 2011 was!  So, this is what I wrote a few months ago, and then we'll blast through 70 thru 11 on a Cool Express post or 2...

Here is 100 through 91... Auburn's title... "Pocket Full of Kryptonite", ah... "Friends with Benefits"... Colin Firth's Oscar... "My Strange Addiction"... Edge's retirement... "Fast Five"... "50/50"... Aladdin's stage show... "Something Borrowed"

Here is 90 through 81... Coin Dozer app... "Superheroes"... "The Rainmaker"... "I Need a Dollar"... "Zookeeper"... Mr. Toad's Wild Ride... "The Help"... Jersey Mike's subs... "Thor"... Brava Rotisserie Grill...

Okay, so this part of the list is very movie-focused, as I saw a record (for me) number of movies last year, I think at 38... and a lot of them made this list.  So, let's kick it off with the film that Hurricane Rhett said, "I understood about 58% of what was happening in the second one... and in this one, I understood about 74%, making it thereby much better."

80... "Transformers: Dark of the Moon"
I mean, why even try to explain this film.  Its a bunch of robots who can transform into cars, and Optimus Prime and Megatron go at it uno mas time, and Shia LaBeouf is running around trying to act better than his talent will let him, and Megan Fox is no longer in the cast, replaced by supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and somehow Ken Jeung, Patrick Dempsey AND John Malkovich make an appearance...

...but really, who gives a crap, right?  Its CARS WHO TURN INTO FIGHTING ROBOTS!!  There's a scene in this flick where Bumblebee, the bestie of Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf), is racing down the interstate with Sam inside, sees congestion in the form of dead robot bodies all over the highway, then he transforms into the robot, hurling Sam into the air, leaps over the hulking hunking holes of metal, fires his gun at the bad guys, then transforms back into the car, catching Sam back inside the passenger seat, all in the matter of a few seconds.  Despite this move being poorly acted and stupidly plotted, that is one of the best few seconds of ANY movie in 2011... you don't watch this movie for plot and talent.  You watch it to see FIGHTING ROBOTS!!!  Dig it!

79... "The Ides of March"
Wow did I think this movie was good.  You have to know that I really like political dramas, and judge them accordingly.  Russell Crowe's "State of Play"--excellent.  Tom Cruise in "Lion for Lambs--unexcellent.  Primary Colors--so good its one of my 100 films of all time.  George Clooney in "Michael Clayton"--would be good if it wasn't so boring.

An adaptation of Beau Willimon's play "Farragut North", this film features Ryan Gosling as Stephen Meyers, a campaign manager for Mike Morris (George Clooney), the Governor of Pennsylvania and a Presidential candidate locked in a fierce battle with a senator for Arkansas.  The goal is to woo a North Carolina Senator, who controls 356 delegates and would give the winner of those delegates the Democratic nomination. 

When a young intern, Molly (Evan Rachel Woods), gets involved with Stephen, things begin to go downhill fast... because with Molly comes a few secrets involving not only Stephen, but also Governor Morris himself... and a double cross with both Morris' and the Arkansas senator's campaign managers, played fantastically by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Paul Giamatti, respectively. 

There are some slow moments, but bear with it... the deep showdown between Gosling and Clooney towards the end of the film is supremely done and worth the wait. 

78... The Dallas Mavericks Win the NBA Championship
Yes, I'm a San Antonio Spurs fan.  Have been since the late 80s and especially the early 90s as I followed David Robinson, my favorite all time player... that said, there are several teams I follow and root for.  Almost dead even with the Spurs as a favorite NBA team are the Orlando Magic, for the obvious Florida ties.  And though there are teams that I don't want to see them beat the Spurs or Magic, I do enjoy wins by the Celtics (its a mom connection), and now, the Mavericks.  Of course, reading this, the champions now are the Miami Heat..

...by the way, how come there hasn't been more made of the fact that it was strike shortened season?  When the Spurs won their first title in like, '99, there were a whole lot of people discussing how they didn't play a full season, and could the Spurs do it if there was a full season, and Tim Duncan is a rookie and could he play all 82 games and blah blah blah, and here comes LeBron, playing in a 60-something game season, not a full 82 games, and they win the title, and its like a coronation of LeBron all around, even though he didn't play a full season either and... really?

Where was I?

77... Kent State Helps Alabama Who Salutes Kent State
On April 27th of 2011, a massive band of storms roared through Alabama, filling up our landscape with rain, wind and... tornadoes.  Towns were wiped off the map, neighborhoods here were damaged and some leveled, and the destruction was practically unfathomable.

And with such loss comes the familiar, yet never-gets-old, stories of those in the city, the state, the country and even the world who rise up to the challenge and, for lack of a better word, give a "helping hand".  One such story made me smile just a little more than some of others, and that was the fact that players from the Kent State University football team saw fit to make their way down to Tuscaloosa to pitch in that aforementioned helping hand. 

Four Kent State Golden Flashes players--Spencer Keith, Ishmaa'ily Kitchen, Lee Stalker and Jacquise Terry--volunteered at the Habitat for Humanity houses alongside several Tide players, in addition to helping out with a football camp at Holt High School for some tornado-displaced children. 

Kent State was set to play Alabama the following September, and when they did, it wasn't the usual taunting and superiority felt by many smaller teams who are cashing in for their beatdowns at the hands of behemoth schools like Alabama.  Before the game, Bama fans sent hundreds of messages begging Tide fans to not boo and ridicule the Kent State team when the Golden Flashes entered Bryant-Denny Stadium.   The messages worked.

The Kent State team was greeted warmly with cheers and such, as they should have been, and from the side of the Alabama Crimson Nation, it was a class act.  Yes, the game got out of hand quickly, with the then-ranked #2 Tide beating KSt 48-7, but it was the actions of Kent State over the summer and the reception of Alabama that will be remembered, separating this game from the hundreds of beatdowns given before SEC play commences.

76... "Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows"
As much as I like Rachel McAdams... this second movie in the Sherlock Holmes series was, at least to me, superior in most ways--story, dialogue, characters, etc.  What can I say... I liked it quite a bit.

The plot is a little much to get into and keep your attention, but Holmes (Colin Firth Club Member in good standing Robert Downey Jr) and Watson (Jude Law) team up to stop a take-over-the world plot from the cunning and so, so evil Dr. Moriarity, played by Jared Harris, who is Lane Pryce on Mad Men.  The addition of Noomi Rapace, as ingenue Simza, doesn't necessarily make up for the short screen time of McAdams, but she is great in the film too.

Anyway, great film.  Enjoyed it much.

75... My Yard Goes Disney
From the category of "We have to make up problems in this country", comes a ridiculous show on HGTV that takes boring and decrepid backyards and turns them into Disney World havens with props and pools and accessories all decked out in Mickey Mouse style. 

Here's what I wrote on June 6th of 2011...

We just recorded, and are watching back, this show on HGTV... now I don't really watch HGTV, because every show on their schedule might as well be called "Kitchens and Backyards That You'll Never, Ever Be Able to Afford TV" or KABTYNEBATATV... in hindsight, I guess HGTV works better.

The show that would get me watching HGTV?

My Yard Goes Disney



Apparently, HGTV invited people from all over the country to make videos telling them why they deserved to have a Disney-themed backyard makeover.  A backyard with an 8 foot sorcerer's hat, a Tinkerbell themed teapot that serves as a playhouse, a Tinkerbell themed birdcage kids swing, flowers with kids pics in the middle and topped off with a freakin' train with 200 feet of track running from their backyard into Mawmaw's backyard next door, and of course back again. All designed by genuine Disney Imagineers.

You can read the full show review by clicking here.

74... The Civil Wars
Talk about mellow and smooth... the duo of (former?) Christian music artist Joy Williams and John Paul Williams make great music.  No, they aren't romantically linked, as she is married with a kid and he is married with four of his own--not that makes a difference sometimes, but still.

Anyway... its soft coffeehouse rock kind of music, and its awesome.  Well, maybe not on a long car trip, as it might put you to sleep, but otherwise, yeah.

73... "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"
This was truly a movie I didn't want to see.  Having never seen any of the early "Planet of the Apes" films and thinking the 2001 Mark Wahlberg reboot was a steaming pile of Bantha poodoo, this film didn't excite me all that much... and yet, I somehow ended up at the theater, checking it out.  And I'm glad I did...

Here's what I wrote on August 30th.... So, the movie was solid. The story was good, the characters were well written, the script is well written, the special effects, especially Andy Serkis, is unbelievable and overall, I enjoyed it immensely. You don't have to be familiar with the other films--in fact, there are apparently a dozen or so references to the early films, though I only caught one when Draco Malfoy says, "Dadgum dirty apes!"--to like this movie, and it sets it up quite nicely for following films, which due to the success of this one, are likely.
Here's the full review, or you can find this and hundreds of other films on my own movie review page.

72... "Hot Coffee"
Remember the old lady that spilled coffee in her lap, then sued McDonalds for like, $300 million dollars or something because the "coffee was too hot"?  There were jokes abound on everything from late night television to me and my own high school buddies cracking jokes.  Seriously?  Isn't coffee supposed to be hot?  So, yeah, I think I'll sue Water World in Dothan, because their water is too wet!  Ha ha!  Right? 

So the story is, in 1992, then-79 year old Stella Liebeck, living in Albuquerque, New Mexico, sat in her grandson's car in the passenger seat, ordering a 49 cent cup of coffee in the McDonald's drive-thru.  Her grandson parked the car so that Stella could put the cream and sugar in her coffee, but when she went to lift the lid, the cup sloshed and the entire contents of the cup spilled into her lap.  Wearing cotton sweatpants, it absorbed the coffee and burned into her skin.  At the hospital, it was determined that she suffered third-degree burns over 6% of her skin and lesser burns on 16% of her skin... she underwent skin grafting over the next 8 days and spent two years undergoing medical treatment. 

She sought to settle with McDonalds for $20,000 to cover her actual and upcoming medical expenses.  They offered her $800.  And thus began the legal battle over coffee was was too hot and unsafely served... and thus is the opening salvo in this HBO documentary.

It covers three more cases like this, cases that are seemingly open-and-shut yet are much deeper and harder to agree upon a resolution once you know the full story... like Nebraska family, The Gourleys, who's 16 year old son is severely brain damaged due to medical malpractice at birth... yet, Nebraska's cop on damages meant the Gourleys could only get $1.25 million, far below the estimated $5.65 million that a jury decided they would need for his lifetime care.

You also see the story of Oliver Diaz, a judge who opposed tort-reform and was "run out of office" by those groups who didn't see it that way... and finally, the story of Jamie Leigh Jones, a KBR/Halliburton employee who's claims that she was drugged and raped by male co-workers and faced even more problems when evidence disappeared.

Whether you agree with these stories or not, or whether you think that Stella is still too greedy, especially since she was clumsy, or you think that McDonalds took a greedy route by their lowball offer, all of these stories are fascinating in nature and very thought provoking. 

I, for one, learned a lot about tort reform.  And McDonalds coffee.

71... "Misery" by Stephen King
I find that sometimes the scariest Stephen King novels aren't those that deal with the supernatural and ghosts and demons, but deal with people who are just bat guano crazy.  And when they are bat guano crazy, it makes for a more compelling villain, because they are real people who do things that real life people might do.

While "'Salem's Lot" and "It" are my favorite King books, dealing with the undead and the otherworldly, "Misery"'s Annie Wilkes might just be one of the most scary villains in the King universe... because she's not supernatural.  She's not undead, or otherworldly... she's just... well, bat guano crazy.

Writer Paul Sheldon has a ritual when he finishes his novels, of which he's been writing about a character named Misery Chastain--and the latest book, he kills her off, giving him the freedom from writing just that story that he's done for so many years.  And it all goes haywire when during this novel-finishing ritual, which calls for him to complete books while up in the Colorado mountains all alone with no forms of communication, his car wrecks and he tumbles down a snow filled ravine.  And when Annie Wilkes finds him, the story takes over... Annie is his biggest fan.  His biggest, obsessive fan.  And she loves Misery Chastain... and when she finds out that Misery bites in this, his latest and last Misery novel, she's not happy.  As a matter of fact, she's bat guano crazy about it.

When I read it, Paul was already wrecked and in Annie's spare bedroom within the first 30 pages or so, which made me wonder how in the world King was going to stretch the story for another 300+ pages... but he did.  And it is intense, both wonderful and dreadful at the same time.   Yes, the movie is great, with Kathy Bates portrayal of Annie getting her an Oscar for it, but the book is even better. 
 

Coming up... The 2011 Cool Express...