that pyramid book scheme

Facebook is a funny thing -- you'd think after a certain amount of time people would stop falling for the "I am telling Facebook they do not have permission to use my photos, and I'm going to make this known right here in this post so ol' Marky Zuck will see it" hoax that likes to pop up every now and again. Then the person doing the post advises you to not share the post, but instead gives you instructions on how to copy and paste into your own Facebook feed. 

This, as well all know (or most know, as there are some that don't) is false, and Zuckerberg and his META Minions could care less about your declarations of what Facebook can and cannot do -- they have your pics and such, and that's that. 

I think the one that makes me kinda angry are the posts that declare that some big company -- Ford, Chick-Fila, some RV Camper company -- will give away a massive amount of prizes, from free vehicles to free lunches, all you have to do is like the post and share the post and such.  

This is false, and frankly, when I scan these posts and the comments below them, I always see people I know and am FB friends with, and automatically question their intelligence for believing in this utter nonsense -- sure, you are probably smart, but come on... 

Disney, who is usually tagged the most on these and thus makes me the angriest, is NOT awarding you free vacations for liking and sharing their ghetto page titled "DISNEY.WORLD THEME PARK" with just under 8,000 followers and two out of date pics, one of them a hand with chubby hands with nails coated in chipped nail polish holding up a set of park ticket cards that haven't been used since Bob Chapek had a high favorability rating in the company itself. 

If you share these type posts, I make fun of you. Seriously. (also sharing these is a form of phishing, and you are opening up your account and in many cases, other people's accounts to information gathering to all sorts of nefarious companies, so don't ask "What could it hurt" because it could hurt)

But then there is the book exchange. 

You know the one, the one that suddenly pops up and takes over your Facebook feed for a few weeks with your friends and family wanting you to be a part of a program that will garner you reading material for days and weeks. 

 I am looking for people to participate in a huge book exchange!

You can be anywhere in the US!

All you have to do is buy your favorite book (just one) or gift one you own and send it to a stranger! l’ll send their name and address in a private message…

You should then receive roughly 36 books to keep!

An easy option is to order your favorite book from Amazon and have it shipped directly to your person.

This should be fun… And what do you have to lose other than one book!?  

That was actually taken from a post from someone I consider an absolute dollface and a long time friend, so if that's you reading this, I promise, I'm not making fun of you -- that would come if you shared that aforementioned "Free Disney trip!" post.

Digress. 

I am the last person to toss water on someone's joy... but I also don't like that joy to be based on a false premise...

However comma

Let's talk about this Book Exchange program that promises that for the cost of one book, you'll receive up to 36 in return.  That might be idealistic, but hey, what if you get only 18 books in return?  You probably won't like all of them, but if you like 12 of them, you can pass off the other 6 to friends, and now your friends have new books (and they may have a lot of them, because what if they also did the Book Exchange?!) and you have 10 new books to read. 

Say it with me... WHAT COULD IT HURT??? 

While I'm no math scholar, I have yet to figure out how this works, and how you only send 1 book and get 36 in return.  

So to be clear, you spend a little money, then recruit a bunch of friends to spend a little money, and... they in turn recruit friends to spend a little money... and those friends recruit friends to... um... 

Truthfully? That sounds a lot like... a pyramid scheme. A well intentioned one, one that isn't promising untold riches, unless you count the hours of wordy entertainment as untold riches (you can count reading as riches, sure, but you get what I'm saying, right?)

Let's play this out. 

I get six of you in on my Book Exchange (to get 36 books, I have to get 6 people, and they have to all get 6 people) -- Jenn, Kyla, Heather, Amy, Nikki, and Mikey.  Mikey is going to send Star Wars comics, so just ready for that.  

All six of them recruit six people, so we now have 36 people in the mix.  If all of them send me books -- so now I have 36 books, or 35 books and an old copy of Star Wars Old Republic #188 (thanks Mikey).  Because I started this shindig, I made out like a banshee. A reading banshee. Of Inshiren.  Great movie. 

But why would they all send me books?  The instructions are a little vague on most of the posts -- if I recruit 6 people, and they all send me one book, then I have 6 books.  

I've only sent one book, to Kyla (it's a coloring book #BecauseKyla) as per the instructions, so the rest are bookless? They send out a book to someone else, and that person... sends a book to someone else?  Where does the 36 come from? 

Also, let's not forget the fact that as this begins to spread, with me sending books to a stranger, I now have in my hands someone's address, someone I do not know, nor do they know me. Which means someone, or someones plural, have my address... in the day and age of Instagram and TikTok and other social platforms, the information super highway is littered with vehicles of personal data, but are we willingly just tossing it out there in this? 

Here's an explanation from Slate.com, and I'll toss in some names to help make it more personal:

When user A (let's say "Nikki") messages user B (d$) on who's account the Book Exchange post appeared, making Nikki excited because she's a rampant reader... Nikki tells d$ she wants to participate in the exchange, so d$ provides Nikki with two addresses, one for Nikki to mail a book to and one to pass onto Nikki's followers that end up wanting to take part once Nikki posts the Book Exchange post on her own feed.  

Wait. What? 

Here's what Medium.com had to say:

The number of recruits needed at increasing levels forms a geometric series (6, 6², 6³, 6⁴ …). It starts with 1 person but just 8 levels down, it requires more than 1.6 MILLION people to keep it going.

For a pyramid scheme to benefit everyone who enrolls in it, it would have to expand indefinitely. But the population of Earth is finite, and when the scheme inevitably runs out of new recruits, it collapses. Since most people in the scheme will be at the bottom layers of the pyramid, they would have sent a book each but end up receiving nothing in return. Thus, the ones who join early are much more likely to benefit and typically feed off the people at the bottom of the pyramid.

As seen above, a pyramid scheme is characterized by a few people (including the creators of the scheme) reaping large benefits, while subsequent members lose out.

So... yeah. 

In my pretend Book Exchange, if it works like it's supposed to (and really, does anyone know how its supposed to work?) I'll get 36 books... but by the time you get a few layers down, people are sending books and getting nothing back.  People at the top get the goods, people at the bottom don't. 

Also called "A Pyramid Scheme".  

Or Biden's economy, but again, I digress.  

Honestly, the idea that you will recruit 6 people to send books, and those people will recruit 6, and those people will recruit 6 is far fetched -- I mean, I can't get some of you people to like my Disney Instagram (@TheMagiconaDollar  and the only commitment there is a click to Follow which results in endless digital pixie dust).

Part of me wants to join a Book Exchange to see what happens because it might make for good material. In fact, I think I'll do that.

Having said all that... let's recap...

• Facebook is not going to care about your permission given or taken away when it comes to pictures, no matter what you say in your post
• Disney, Ford, Chick-fila or other companies are not going to give you free stuff by sharing the post
• Book Exchanges don't work. 

Happy reading. 

the creepy like

I did just get a new iPhone recently, and just in time, too... the whole thing was about to implode. The software apparently had a glitch, and in order to fix it, you had to do a backup and a restore and then fix this and then fix that and... it was just too much work.

So, in September, The Lovely Steph Leann and I traded in our 2-year-old iPhone 4s phones, which had served us well, for a newer model--namely, the 5. Not the fancier 5c, but the 5, which is just fine. Definitely not the 6 or 6+, because that's too much.

We like to be one level behind... when the 5 came out, we upgraded our 3sg (or whatever it was called) for the 4s, and now we're up to the version 5... we figure when the iPhone 8 is released in 2016, it'll be just about time for us to get a 6... for like, 99 cents. Because that's what the 5 cost us, and the 4 before that.

My old phone was such a hassle... it took forever to load a page, especially Facebook and sometimes it wouldn't even load Instagram. And the worst part about it was the scroll delay... sometimes you would flick your fingers up and down the screen, and it wouldn't scroll... so you'd hit it again, trying to get it to move. Then, it would finally catch up, and anywhere you had hit the screen while it was frozen, it would take that tap and apply it to whatever is on the screen.

For example, I have a friend named Missi on Facebook. She has a large family, one that I joke should be a reality show (I call it "Lee & Missi Ivey + Fivey", to be aired on Saturday nights, right before "Big World, Little People with Big Hands" and right after "The Man with a 788 Pound Tumor in His Armpit"... TLC has the most wretched of shows sometimes, but I think "Lee & Missi Ivey + Fivey" would be a hit.) and she takes lots of pictures as any proud mom would.

This is the kind of family where everyone in it is gorgeous. Like, she is gorgeous. Her husband is a good looking dude, and a doctor to boot. Her kids, from her teenage son to her youngest son to the three girls in between are all gorgeous. You look at this family and either think "What a lovely family!" or "I hate that family for being so lovely", but either way, we do follow each other on Facebook and Instagram.

I scroll Instagram as I do, tapping some pictures here and there, "liking" the ones I like, and scrolling past those that don't necessarily interest me...

An interesting case study would be the psychology for "liking" pictures on Instagram and "liking" posts on Facebook. In terms of Instagram, there are some people that I just simply like nearly everything they put up. Partly because those people always post awesome pics, and partly because I feel that a "like" is a form of support... "hey, you've got a fan out here"... others, I just like pics that I like. I've seen a bajillionty sunsets, so it takes a really, really good sunset to get me to "like" it. 

I've seen two bajillionty pairs of feet or knees on a beach, or in a deck chair poolside, so I seldom like those pics at all. But if it's creative, if it's the baby picture, if you are on vacation to somewhere cool... I will "like" that thing without a moment's notice.

I mean, why else would I have liked this
picture of Fergie?  Oh, who am I kidding...
I always "like" pictures of Fergie.

Back to the family... so, one day I'm scrolling Instagram. And my phone freezes. I do the typical movement with my finger, trying to move it up and down and I'm getting nothing. Usually at this point, I'll double-click the home button (the round button on the bottom). This will bring up a series of pages that will show all the applications I have open, and I'll close them one by one. I gave this one a little more time, but finally, gave up, did the double click and waiting for the screen shots to come up.

But they didn't. 

Frustrated, I contemplated just doing the "hold down the top button and the home button at the same time" thing to restart it--an iPhone version of blowing into your Nintendo cartridge to get it to come on... unsure if it really did anything, thinking it probably did more harm than good, but at least it's something...

Kind of like when you are sitting in traffic--if there is an accident, I'd rather take a side road that might take me ten miles out of the way and 15 minutes longer drive time than to sit in traffic, going 2 miles an hour, even though I'll likely get out of the traffic soon and would be home quicker. At least I'm doing something.

Just as I started to hit the home/top button, my phone awoke... and several things happened fast. The Instagram screen scrolled at a rapid pace, up, down, then up. Then, my tapping helped me to "like" three pictures as the phone caught up on any tapping I did... the first two, I frankly don't remember, but the third, I do. 

It was Missi's daughter, a lovely teenage girl in the picture. And she was on the beach. In a bikini. And my scrolling, spastic iPhone decided it would be hilarious if I not only "liked" that picture, but that since no one else had liked it, I could be the only one. There it was, teen girl in a bikini, and under it with a heart, "@superdave310".

But before I could do anything, the application screens came up, and out of all the apps I had open--Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Words with Friends, text messages, Safari, ESPN scoreboard, Angry Birds Rio--only two disappeared... one was text messages. The other was Instagram. 

Then, the phone went off and restarted.

So I held in my hand an iPhone that had just decided to tell my friend Missi, "Hey, how are ya? I like that pic of your daughter in her bikini. Awesome!" I would have just called "To Catch a Predator" with Chris Hansen myself, but my phone was restarting.

See, it's one of those things you have to be careful of--appearing "stalkerish" in your "liking". You don't want to be the guy who likes the pic 30 seconds after it posted... I've been that guy, double tapping a picture of my friend Megan and her daughter at a picnic, or a picture of a church kid named Morgan and her sorority activities... either one will likely get 100+ likes, and you can like it while being covered by the anonymity of the phrase "103 likes"--but when it's "posted 35s ago", you look like a stalker.

Likewise, someone pointed out to me that you can't "like" a pic that's been up over a year or more. That's creepy too, like you went to look at their pictures and decided to randomly like stuff... I mean, I've done it, but only with people who know I'm only a slight stalker. Just kidding. I mean, really, just kidding.

Anyway, when it came back up, I raced to Instagram and found the pic again, and "unliked" it. By this point, there were already a half dozen "likes" on it, so I didn't even see my name, but I knew it was there. Besides, Missi likely already got a notification that said "d$ liked your post"... then again, in my mind, it said "almost 40 married d$ is creeping on your daughter".

Then, like an igmo, I sent a direct message that sounded good at the time, simply saying, "Hey, didn't mean to like that picture, sorry that was weird" but probably read as "I'm so weird, I'm so weird, I'm really strange, and I'm so weird."

Darn you, spastic scroll.

A month later, we are still friends, so I can only assume no harm, no foul. Still, a little unsettling.
Lesson?  Beware the scroll.  Always check to make sure you aren't hitting "like" on a picture that just got posted, especially if it's from a chick.  And never, ever "like" teenagers in bikinis.  Trust me.  Nothing but trouble.

no soda thirty

If you stroll through my house, affectionately known as The Cabana, take a walk up the steps and into the master bedroom, the look deep in the far right corners of the closet that is there, you can find a pullover.  For about six months, it was a fashion statement to have a shirt/hoodie/pullover known as a "rugby", or maybe a "Navajo" or even a "tater sack shirt", because it was made with a similar feel to it as a croker, or potato, sack.  I have one in there somewhere, given to me my freshman fall at Troy State in 1993 by my friend Miranda Bryant.  I kept it, not as a sentiment of a long lost friendship--on the contrary, we are friends on Facebook and chat from time to time--but more of a reminder. 

A reminder of the "skinny days".  Those days when I weighed less that I do now, much, much less.  I've always been someone who can maintain weight, but not necessarily lose it.  And for the better part of 10, almost 11, years, I maintained a weight of about 15 pounds heavier than I should be, not really losing any, but rarely gaining much either.  This was because of my job at Starbucks, where I did a lot of walking.  I mean, a LOT of walking, back and forth behind the counter.  Using a pedometer on my phone, I figured out that I was getting anywhere from 4 to 6 miles per day in walking.  Just around the store and behind the counter.

The amount of soda I believe I've consumed since November.  Oh, I
meant "daily"

In November, as many of you know, I got an office job at another company, so I stopped walking 4 or 5 or 6 miles per day--not just walking, but quick movement, pivoting, sometimes running short distances... but with the office job?   Suddenly, I actually had time to eat breakfast, very little of which was healthy, and suddenly, I'm afforded the time to drink water all day.  Of course, I am not drinking water, my beverage of choice is a 20 ounce Coke.  Or two.  Or three.

So, I've gained weight.  Way more than I should have gained... I would like to say 15 pounds, but its quite possible it might be 20.  If you'll keep it a secret, since you are my friends and its just us, I'll tell you I'm topping 210 pounds right now... and for my height, 5'7, that's not good. 

The Lovely Steph Leann told me that I wear it well.  Perhaps its my clothes, perhaps its how I wear my shirts or even my walk, but I'd like to think you can't really tell I'm about 30 pounds more than I need to me, maybe even 40.   Seriously. I'm a chunk.  I'm heavier than I've ever been, and worse yet, I get winded like, so, so easily.  And the accountability all falls on my shoulders.

One of the many good things about my new job is even though it gives me plenty of time to munch and drink high fructose corn syrup laden beverages, it also gives me time to listen to my iPod, especially to podcasts and audiobooks. 

So, I'm sitting there at my desk, drinking an ice cold Coca-Cola, and I flip over to a blogsite written by a friend of mine, a dude named Rick Theule... he wrote about "loose pants", essentially how he gave up the very thing that I was enjoying at that every moment.  And as a result, over time he found his pants fitting a little bit better.   It was a great piece that I enjoyed as I drank.

After lunch, I'm then drinking a smooth cup of Mello Yello, and as an added bonus, eating a bag of Bugles, even putting a few of them on my fingers cause I'm stupid.   This time, I'm listening to another friend of mine do his own podcast, called "Remodeling Clay", a dude named Clay Shaver who has an incredible story of losing hundred of pounds over several years.  He was over 400 pounds, and he's down to just over 200 now.  Unbelievable.  (I would encourage you to check out his podcast... its a great motivating 40 minutes about YOU being the best YOU that YOU can be.  And I mean that in all sincerity, no sarcasm.  He's a good dude.)

Anyway, Clay begins to talk about soda... and giving soda up.  I sighed.

To add to the mix, I thought about guy named Royce Emerson, who I worked with at a radio station over a decade ago and haven't seen him since 2001... over the time I knew him, Royce lost lots of weight, and he simply said to me one day, "I gave up Coke and Diet Coke.  That helped me lose 10 pounds right there."

An article in the morning about giving up soda (while I drank a Coke) and a podcast in the afternoon about giving up soda (while I drank a Mello Yello) and a flashback to a guy who lost weight just by NOT drinking soda... it really had me considering what to do, and what I was doing to my own health.

Back in the late 90s... or maybe it was 2006... or perhaps 1995, or it might be 2001, I don't remember when, I just remember it happened... I stopped drinking all carbonated drinks for over a year.  I think it must be like cocaine or heroin though, because after 13 months of not having any Coke products, I remember having one for a meal and it was like those lame Coke drinking polar bears were welcoming me back into the embrace of diabetes and the arms of obesity.

And now, right now as I write this, its 1252am, its almost an hour into April 1st... and for the next 30 days, I'm giving up carbonated beverages of all kinds.  Not just Coke and Cherry Coke and the like, but ALL carbonated beverages.  Not even a sparkling water of any kind, which is good, cause I'm not a fan of most, so I got that going for me.  I made this declaration on Facebook last week, to start April 1st, so now I kinda feel obligated, lest I become like someone who declares Facebook fast and then show up 19 hours later online as if nothing had been said.

The fun part is, I do love ginger ale... its non-decaffeinated, and isn't really that bad for you... and we have a case now, by virtue of me headed to Wal-Mart at 540am to get The Lovely Steph Leann something to drink due to her feeling like crap over the last 24 hours (food poisoning?  virus?  we dunno...).  So it sits there, and I won't enjoy it. 

I call it my No Soda for 30 Days Challenge... or #NoSoda30, to hashtag it unnecessarily.

So, how about you?  Willing to give up some beverage?  Willing to see how you feel on May 1st by not tossing back Mountain Dew or Coke or Pepsi or whatever your beverage of choice might be?

Oh, about that shirt I mentioned.  My goal?  To wear it again.  Even if I don't wear it long, even if I never leave the house with it on... my goal is to put it on and be comfortable in it.  I'll even take a picture and post it, because I am that vain.

Or maybe I'll put it into my daily rotation of outerwear when it gets cool again.  It is a cool shirt.  If I ever have lunch with Miranda Bryant, then I've got to be able to wear it. 

Darn You, Zuckerberg!

So, got a few messages on my Facebook wall that said something to the effect of, "Your blog took up my entire Wall!", followed by a text from my buddy Mikey that said, "Dude, someone hacked into your FB account."

I have my blog imported into Facebook.  And the way its supposed to work is that when I post something on Clouds in My Coffee, a few days later, maybe the next day, maybe later that day, Facebook imports it over.  Now, videos don't come along, and sometimes pictures are skewered, but otherwise, its not a bad system. 

There are a lot of people who read this blog via Facebook, so it's a great system... until it isn't.

This has happened once before, and apparently it happened again... Facebook doesn't import them as I write them.  Its like their systems wait a few weeks and then bring over a dozen or more all at once.  For anyone who "likes" the site on Facebook, this is definately something that might make you "unlike" it... I know I'd be annoyed by it.

So, if this happened to you, I offer my apologies, and will tell you its not my fault... its Facebook! 

Darn you, Mark Zuckerberg!

I would keep going, but not only am I sleepy, but "Road House" is on MGM HD, and my attention is now drawn elsewhere...

The Summer of Blogging Day Forty Two

The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... #70 to 61

The Coolest Things of 2010, 100 to 91
The Coolest Things of 2010, 90 to 81
The Coolest Things of 2010, 80 to 71

70... Facebook DeFriended
Sometimes, you just want to be narcissistic.  Sometimes you get on Facebook and you notice that you have 2 less friends than you had yesterday.  And then, another day later, you gain a friend.  Could it be that people have dropped you?  Could it be that people deleted their account, then recovered their accounts?  If you delete your account, can you recover that account again? 

Either way, Facebook Defriended will take care of your narcissistic needs.  Buy the app for a buck, and you can hook it up to your account.  Then go into Facebook Defriended, and it will tell you your friend list activity over the last few days... who dropped you, who added you and so on. 

Why do I need this?  I don't.  Its a ridiculous app meant to only feed my ego and fuel my wonder of why someone would drop someone as awesome as I am (I say that with a smile and a wink), but still, I check it a couple of times per week.  Because I'm me. 

69... "Love the Way You Lie"
Overall, I'm not a fan of Eminem.  I respect what he does, and his mastery of wordplay and how he sings/raps, because if you just listen to how he does what he does, he's amazing.  What he actually says, however, is quite alarming and discouraging, because he has a ton of pent up anger and aggression in his lyrics, many times towards his own ex-wife.

Sometimes, though, he does get one out there that really makes me smile, one that I really enjoy.  "Without Me" was one a decade ago, while "Lose Yourself" is one that everyone likes.  And in 2010, a collaboration with Rhianna led to "Love the Way You Lie", which has this infectious, memorable opening riff--"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn... that's alright... I like the way it hurts..."

And the video, starring Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan (Charlie from LOST), is just awesome.

Note... Eminem is not a clean guy, so please don't take this as an endorsement of his music.  As in, if you go and download this song, at least the explicit version, and are offended by the language, then don't blame me.  Listen at your own risk.  The album version of this song is not Emmy Turnbow Safe. 

68... Danno Gets a Reboot
I was never a fan of "Hawaii Five-O" in its original inception, not because it wasn't a good show, but because when it when it came on in 1968, I was a few years away from life.  When it ended in 1980, I was five.  When I saw re-runs in syndication, I barely remembered it.

So, when CBS decided to reboot the television show for the 2010-2011 television season, I had low expectations for the show.  Truth in advertising, I have low expectations for many shows when they premiere, because networks now rarely give most shows a chance to catch on... both Seinfeld and Cheers were low rated when they first appeared, but after catching on, they were awarded further seasons, and both went on to become television classics. 

The Lovely Steph Leann and I chose three shows to watch this time around, trying to watch them week by week via DVR, and those would be "No Ordinary Family", "The Event" and "Hawaii Five-O".  All three shows were good, but to me, "Hawaii Five-O" was exceptional.  It was funny, it was well written, and the cast is well placed.  Alex O'Loughlin and Scott Caan lead, with Daniel Dae Kim (Jin from LOST, and its hard to see him as anything beyond that) and Grace Park, and it also stars, of course, the Hawaiian coast line, the volcanoes and the culture.

Well, we stopped watching all three show on DVR, just because we got too far behind... and I'm quite alright with that for now, because "The Event" and "No Ordinary Family" are gone.  The former is in EW's "Danger Zone" and the latter is just scrubbed (which is sad, because it was also a good show).  However, "Hawaii Five-O" made the cut... and we'll put it in a category with "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" and "Grey's Anatomy"... watch it on DVD and get through a season in a few days.

67... The Fury Goes Crazy
Anyone who reads this blog for longer than a few days will know I'm a big Stephen King fan.  And in the early 80s, there was a "Quad-fecta" of novels that I really, really enjoy.  "Firestarter", "Cujo", "Pet Semetary" and "Christine", about a car, a '58 Plymouth Fury with a mind of its own, and evil side, one that cannot be stopped and is raging with jealousy and anger.

Arnie Cunningham is a loser in high school, best friends with Dennis, who happens to be kinda cool, and important enough at school to keep Arnie from getting beat up daily.  This, however, begins to change when Arnie "meets" Christine, a rusty old 1958 red and white Plymouth Fury sitting in a junk yard.  The car has many secrets, a horrible, evil past and slowly begins to change Arnie's life--for the worse, especially when Leigh Cabot, this beautiful chick who moves into town, goes out with him... enraging the car.  Yep, I said that and meant it. 

The book is a quick read, its well written and though not overly frightening, has its creepy moments.  I do remember when I was a kid, having just seen the movie when it premiered on network television, walking home from a football game (we lived two blocks from the high school) and being creeped out at 10 at night because some old truck was sitting on the side of the road, staring at me.  I kept waiting for the headlights to pop on. 

Good book.

66... We Figure Out The Tip
I've got over 140 apps on my iPhone, with games and weather and news and email and interweb capabilities and so on, but one of my favorites, one of most useful apps I have ever purchased is one called "The Tipulator".

Its quite simple.  You type in the amount of your bill, say $32.89.  It will automatically tell you your tip amount, then give you a total.  If you have good service, and want to leave 15%, then it will tell you that you should leave $4.93, and you should pay $37.82.   They give really good service?  You can adjust your percentage from 15% all the way up to 50% (which must be incredible service).  If you wanted to leave 18%, then The Handy Dandy Tipulator will tell you your tip is $5.92.  Poor service, but you still want to leave a tip?  You can knock it down to 13%, which is $4.60.  Or 1%, which is 33 cents.

Other settings include the ability to round your tip up or down to the nearest dollar, or your total amount to the nearest dollar, you can split the check from 2 people to 50.   I have mine set to round the total amount to the nearest dollar, with the tip set at 15% or more.   The price is a mere 99 cents, and I would definitely recommend it if you ever eat out. 

65... Denzel Carries The Word
When movies come out in January, they are usually considered "throw away movies", that is, movies that are dumped into the post-holiday season when most people aren't going to the theaters because they spent too much money during the Christmas season.

But every now and then, they dump a movie into January that turns out to be darn good.  I give you "The Book of Eli".  Denzel is the title character, wandering on a mission through a post-apocalyptic United States carrying what, at that time, is a very valuable and rare artifact--a King James Bible.

This is part of my review on the film:

We see right away that Eli is not a guy to be messed with... he's got somewhere to be, and he's headed that way. And when people try to stop him, he stops them from trying to stop him in the most convincing "don't bother me" way possible. Trouble comes when he drifts through a town and its discovered by the town's "ruler", Carnagie (played by Gary Oldman, who excels in this type of role), that Eli is carrying with him last copy of the Bible.


The film is bleak in color, as many of the movies with this setting are, and language pervades throughout. The sexual moments are very few, with only a couple of allusions to it, mostly within the context of the town's danger. Violence is also heavy in this film, so expect lots of knives and gunshots and big armored vehicles. All that is to say that this movie is NOT for kids. I dare say its not Emmy Turnbow safe, but at the same time, I think Emmy Turnbow would like this movie--at least, an edited version that might come on the USA Network in June of 2012 or something.

Written on June 6th, you can read the full review here.

64... Norah Gets a Duet
Norah Jones is only for certain tastes, because the argument is that "all her stuff sounds alike"... and yeah, thats kinda true.  But if you like that sound, you'll love this album.  In her career, she's done several solo albums and has also done lots of work as a part of other bands like The Little Willies, or projects with other artists, like Ryan Adams or Willie Nelson. 

Released in November of 2010, "...Featuring" is a compilation CD of Norah Jones and.  Norah Jones and... the Foo Fighters.  Norah Jones and... Ray Charles.  Herbie Hancock.  Q-Tip from a Tribe Called ?uest.  And several, several others.

My favorite tracks on the CD are a cover of "More Than This" with Charlie Hunter, a cover of the 80s rock song, and a "Take Off Your Cool" with OutKast, as featured on the OutKast album "The Speakerboxxx/The Love Below". 

And if you think I wanted to mention OutKast's album "The Speakerboxxx/The Love Below" because I wanted to seem a slight bit cooler, then... you may be right.

63... Bruno Loves His Woman
Bruno Mars has had quiet a year... among many of the hits he's helped pen, Cee Lo's "Forget You" was a massive hit, as was Flo Rida's "Right Round", and had a couple of hits of his own, including "Grenade" and my 63rd Coolest Thing of 2010, "Just the Way You Are". 

Its a fun little song about loving a woman just... well, just like she is.  She's perfect.  He tells her that, "when I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change, cause you're amazing, just the way you are."

And in interviews, I liked the idea that he doesn't try to go too deep, he just simply says, "I'm a big fan of songs like Joe Cocker's 'You Are So Beautiful' and Eric Clapton's 'Wonderful Tonight' - songs that go straight to the point. You know, there's no mind-boggling lyrics or twists in the story - they just come directly from the heart. And to me 'Just The Way You Are' is one of those songs. There's nothing mind-blowing about it. I'm just telling a woman she looks beautiful the way she IS - and, let's be honest, what woman doesn't wanna hear those lyrics?"

62... The Candlelight Processional
One of our several trips to Walt Disney World found us there in December, actually getting a chance to spend a little time with one of my best friends, Melanie, and her family, that being Chris Z (the hubs), and the kids, Special K, Jay Z and The Zach Attack.  And because it was Christmas time, The Lovely Steph Leann was very adamant that we see The Candlelight Processional.

What is it?  Well, at Epcot, its a special Christmas presentation featuring a choir, awesome Christmas music and a reading of the Christmas story--yes, the one from The Bible--by a celebrity.  The small amphitheater, near the American Pavilion, was decorated beautifully, with bright reds and greens all around, and at least a hundred poinsettias adorning the stage and spaces between choirs.

The choir itself consists of mostly Cast Members who auditioned, and
local talents, as well as the orchestra

The Lovely Steph Leann saw The Candlelight Processional in 2009, and just missed Steven Curtis Chapman and ended up witn Anika Noni Rose, voice of Tiana from "The Princess & the Frog"... and this year?  We still missed Steven Curtis Chapman.  He was reading later in the month, but our reader was none other than Ariel herself, Jodi Benson, who I believe is a Christ Follower.

After the choirs filed in, they sang a few Christmas hymns, then Jodi took the stage.  Over the next thirty minutes, music was interspersed with reading from Matthew, and at the end, she spoke briefly on the birth and eventual death of Christ.  And yes, this was all at Walt Disney World, a magical place, but still quiet secular.

Jodi Benson reads the Christmas Story.  We almost had Susan Lucci,
but they moved her around and gave us Jodi, and I was cool with that.

61... "Kick-A**"
Here's what I had to say in June of 2006:

Okay... so, for every reason I shouldn't, I thought this movie was hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Its title that I feel very uncomfortable saying (and don’t, especially on a website that I like to keep PG), its got the same language you’d find in equally as funny movies like “Superbad”, its got comic-book style violence that still produces blood spatter like crazy, and it’s got a bunch of teenagers trying to get some. There is no redeeming quality to this movie.

Let's be clear here... this movie is NOT for children.  As a Christ-Follower, this movie is a prime example of the topic of "what do you place in front of your eyes?", which is another conversation for another day.  I've tried to give you the rundown on the film as best I can, so now its up to you as to whether to see it.  Cindy Jo is probably not going to see this film.  Hurricane Rhett might go out tonight and catch it.

Read the whole post, including the full review, by clicking here.

Coming up... A great indictment of the NCAA Postseason (what?)... keeping my head and hands warm... and later, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife

The 2011 Oscar Running Diary

Well, let's get it on, shall we!  Its time for our annual running diary of the Academy Awards.  I'm here in the recliner, laptop open, keyboard in lap, while The Lovely Steph Leann is over on the couch, snuggled up in a Snuggie, ready to go. 

She has been out a bridal shower in East Podunk, Alabama, so when the sat down, the first thing she saw while watching the Red Carpet special was Robert Downey Jr, and the first thing she said was, "Oh no!  He's wearing a navy blue suit?  Really?  Robert!"

Its time.

732p... a quick recap of the best picture nominees with some of the classic lines from the last year... "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook." 

732p... we open with a classic parody of nominated movies, this time involving Oscar hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway, with an appearance by Alec Baldwin, first intersparsing themselves in Inception, then with The Social Network and then The Fighter.  They appear on a horse in a clip of True Grit (James Franco tells Jeff Bridges, as Rooster Cogburn, "Hey, I loved you in TRON!").

735p... Morgan Freeman and his voice!  More Alec Baldwin!  And James and Anne are in the Back to the Future DeLorean!  This is a fun little opening...

739p... James and Anne, who looks AB-SO-LUTE-LEE GOR-GEE-US by the way, hit the stage.  She even tells James, "You look very appealing... to a younger demographic..."   They banter back and forth, even talking to Anne's mom, and James' mom and grandma, who smiles and says, "I... just saw... Marky Mark..." 

Its common knowledge that Mark Wahlberg hates the Marky Mark reference, but he seems to go along with it with a smile, if not a smirk.

Tonight, they are going to be looking back at some great Oscar winners from the last century, and they kick this off with Gone with the Wind.  The Lovely Steph Leann absolutely loves this movie, all seven hours of it.

742p... Tom Hanks comes out, and discusses Gone With the Wind's awards in 1939.  And he also discusses those films who have previously won Art Direction and Cinematography, and says the last movie to win these two, plus Best Picture, was my 9th favorite film of all time, Titanic. 

Art Direction prize goes to "Alice in Wonderland".  Crap.  I'm 0-1 already.  I tell The Lovely Steph Leann that I picked "The King's Speech" and she says, "Really?  Kings Speech?   Hmmm..."

746p... Tom Hanks now introduces Cinematography, and the Oscar goes to, "Inception".  And again, I picked "The King's Speech".  I'm 0-2.  The Lovely Steph Leann just laughs.  She didn't pick the winners, she is just laughing at me.

750p... Commercial break.  I say, "Well, those goes my attempt at going 24-0.  I'm Oh for 2 right now."  She laughs, hard. 

751p... James and Anne greet us after the break, and introduce Kirk Douglas, who comes out with a cane, and gets an immediate standing ovation.  I have been watching Kirk Douglas movies since I was like, 3 years old, no joke.  He's struggling to talk, with the effects of a few strokes.  He tells James Franco, "You look much better out of the cave... and Anne Hathaway... SHE'S GORGEOUS!!  Where were you when I was making pictures?!"

752p... Kirk Douglas is doing the Supporting Actress Award... usually, last year's Supporting Actor gives out this years Supporting Actress, and vice versa, and the same with Actor/Actress.  I am wondering if they are letting screen legends do the acting awards?  That would be cool.

754p... So, the guy is just standing there with the golden envelope, while Kirk Douglas ribs Colin Firth and Hugh Jackman in the audience, and he opens the envelope and holds the winner in his hands, and just keeps talking.   We are cracking up here.

757p... The Oscar goes to Melissa Leo for The Fighter.  Now its a race to see how many in a row I can lose.   Standing next to Melissa Leo, Kirk Douglas says, "You are much more beautiful than you looked in The Fighter".   She starts stammering, and The Lovely Steph Leann whispers, "Get it together, dear, you don't have much time..."  She manages to even drop the F-bomb...

Mila on tonight's Red Carpet

8p... Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake come out together, and Mila Kunis might be the hottest dressed one here tonight.  They are doing the Best Animated Feature, and Best Animated Short... finally, at least I'll get one right!   For Best Animated Short, the winner is The Lost Thing.  Yay, 0-4. 

805p... And here's the Biggest Lock of the Night.  Toy Story 3.  When Mila makes the nominee announcement for Toy Story 3, the audience gives a huge applause.  Toy Story 3 wins.  Finally, I get on the board... 1-4.

812p... Anne meets us from the break, and tells us about the very first Academy Awards in 1929, happening at The Roosevelt Hotel, across from the Oscars current location, the Kodak Theater.

813p... Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem comes out together, to give the Adapted and Original Screenplay awards.  They also are dressed almost exactly alike.  Not a great look.  My picks for Adapted are The Social Network and The Kings Speech for Original.

814p... And the Oscar goes to... Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network!  I got 2 right!   Aaron comes up and gives a pleasant speech, and its based on a book called "The Accidental Billionaires".  I've got 2 credits built up on Audible.com, think I'll use one of them on this.   The orchestra starts to play, but doesn't play him off, because he keeps talking.

816p... Now, its Original Screenplay, and I went with The King's Speech.  Josh and Javier, the White Tux Twins, gives the Oscar to The Kings Speech.  I lost four in a row, but have now won three straight!! 

818p... David Seidler, who wrote The King's Speech, is probably in his 70s, and starts his speech with, "My father always said... I'll be a late bloomer..."  The audience, and us, laugh heartily.   The gave Kirk Douglas as much time as he wanted, because he's Kirk Douglas, but now they are having to play catch-up by rushing winning speeches.

823p... Anne, still smoldering, even though she's in a tux, is back from break.   She begins singing a version of "On My Own" (for Les Mis) calling out Hugh Jackman for standing her up for a duet she was supposed to sing.   James Franco comes out in a pink dress, blond wig and horrible lipstick, saying, "You wore a tux, I wore this.  Weird part is, I just got a message from Charlie Sheen..."

825p... Russell Brand and Helen Mirren, the most attractive 93 year old on Earth, come out together now.  Helen speaks French, Russell incorrectly "translates".  They are here to give Best Movie By a Dang Fer-ah-ner.  The winner is "In a Better World".  There goes my winning streak, and I'm 3-5 for the night.  The chick director is doing her best English, though I'm wondering how long they will let her talk before you hear the music... and there it is...

829p... And Ashley Judd Club member Reese Witherspoon comes out, looking so classy and awesome.  And she's here for the Best Supporting Actor.   I'll take Reese over Mo'nique (last years Supporting Actress winner) any day of the week, and fourteen times on Sunday.  And Monday.  And Wednesday.

Unshaved Christian Bale and his wife

830p... Unshaven Christian Bale is not a pleasant sight. 

830p... And the Oscar goes to Unshaven Christian Bale.  And his hair doesn't match his beard.  We might be 2 for 2 on F-Bombs from The Fighter tonight!

831p... How weird is it to hear Christian Bale speak in his native British tongue?  No joke. 

834p... So Christian looks over and acknowledges his wife, then stammers without saying her name.  The Lovely Steph Leann thinks Bale got choked up, but I think that Christian Bale just forgot his wife's name.  Seriously?

837p... Okay, so he just got choked up.  He teared up when talking about his daughter, choked up when discussing his wife, and plugged Dicky's website (the guy the his character was based on)  Fine, it was a good speech.

Bathroom break needed for both of us.  Show is on pause via DVR.   We are about 4.5 minutes behind... we'll catch up at the commercial break

843p... Here comes... well, I don't recognize them, but does it matter?  I dunno.  Its a little speech recognizing the marriage between ABC and The Academy Awards.   Shameless self promotions.

844p... Anne is out again, looking like... well, that dress is awkward.  Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman come out to award the award for Score.  We get a Sound history lesson, and an orchestra appears to play some of the more memorable scores from film.   I went with "The Social Network" on this.

847p... The winner is... Trent Reznor for "The Social Network".  Who da thunk five years ago that Nine Inch Nails would win an Oscar?  I loved Inception's score more, but I can deal with "Network".  I'm 5-5 for the night!  I'm coming back!

849p... Here comes the award for Sound Mixing and Sound Editing, with me picking Inception for both.  Seems like they would go hand in hand.   Here comes the very attractive Scarlett Johansson and the not so attractive Matthew McConaughey to give the awards... the winner of Mixing?  Inception.  The winner of Editing?  Inception?  Ha!  Seven wins for me! 

852p... I think to over/under for Christopher Nolan being thanked tonight is somewhere around 4,300.

856p... Back from break, Anne and James are introducing Marisa Tomei.  James Franco has a squinting problem.

856p... Marisa Tomei is in my All Time Most Beautiful Actresses Like, Ever Hall of Fame.  I love love love love love love Marisa Tomei.  She's telling us the tech awards that aren't shown on this broadcast.   James Franco says, "Congrats, nerds!"

858p... Every time I think Cate Blanchett is beautiful, she shows up not being so.  Tonight?  She's beautiful.  She tells us about Lord of the Rings, winner of the makeup award.  For makeup, its Rick Baker who has like, 87 Oscars.  Make it 88, and I got an 8th win tonight.   Daddy's on a roll, baby cakes!

859p... The Lovely Steph Leann likes to pick and choose the catagories she wants to predict, and out of the three she has picked, she's 3-0.  Of course, she picked Toy Story 3, which was as big of a lock as any award in history.  Which means she picked Alice in Wonderland for Costume Design, and that means its going to win.

901p... And the Oscar goes to?  Not True Grit, my pick, now making me 8-6 on the night.  Its Alice.

902p... The chick who won is reading her speech.  When was the last time anyone actually read their speech?   She gets to the bottom of the page as the orchestra plays her offstage. 

903p... Favorite movie song?  Wow... "I've Had the Time Of My Life"... "Beauty and the Beast"... "How Do You Know" from Enchanted... "Against All Odds"... and He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected is onscreen, telling us "Time Goes By"?  What?  Random.

905p... Kevin Spacey is out to introduce the songs that are nominated... first is Randy Newman, who has his 20th nomination this year.  He's doing "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3.  Next is Mandy Moore and Zach Levi to do "I See The Light" from Tangled... Zach Levi is a Christ Follower, by the way? 

907p... Mandy Moore is stunning, but Anne has her beat tonight.  (in fairness, Reese tops them both, Mila Kunis in that dress beats all three, and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, tops them all).  Zach Levi looks like a welfare Ben Affleck.  

909p... Commercial break!   Want to see an incredible Oscar song performance?  Click here.

911p... James Franco introduce Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and the are out to award Documentary Short Film.   Jake says it best in saying, "Shorts are also the hardest things to pick on your Oscar ballot... so see the shorts, and you might be a winner."   The Lovely Steph Leann isn't picking this catagory, by the way.   I chose "Killing in the Name", and the winner is "Strangers No More".  I'm 8-7 so far. 

912p... And now Best Live Action Short Film.  My pick was "God of Love" and WOO-HOO!  I picked that one!  Yeah!  I'm back!

Luke Matheny and his fro in a pre-Oscar photo op

916p... Luke Matheny is giving the speech for the win, looks about 7 feet tall and has a fro the size of Red Robin.  Awesome.  He races through the thank-yous, including his mom, who did craft services for the film.  Awesome speech. 

917p... James and Anne are back, and there's a sight gag on movies that aren't musicals that they parody into musicals... including "Harry Potter", "Toy Story 3" and Timberlake on "The Social Network".  This little montage should win Best Editing.   The Twilight spot is called "He Doesn't Own a Shirt", featuring Taylor Lautner.  That was funny.

919p... The next presenter?  Oprah.  Who's network is really struggling, by the way.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oprah looks like she's putting on weight", and I respond, "Doesn't she always?"

920p... Oprah is giving out The Best Documentary of the Year award.  No news on whether Algore has given back the one he won for An Inconvenient Truth, which turned out be A Big Fat Piece of Crap.   The Oscar goes to?  Inside Job.  I picked Restrepo.  Apparently, Inside Job is about the banking and housing collapse, so had I known that, I would have gone with it.  These are the same people who won for the anti-Iraqi doc "No End in Sight".  And the speech bascially starts out with, "Rich people suck."

926p... Anne is back, looking all awesome and good looking, and she introduces former Oscar host--someone who did it best for years--Billy Crystal.  He even gets a standing ovation.  "The producers asked me to tell you that we are running long... so here's the nominees for Best Picture..."

928p... Its a look back at the first televised Oscars, with Bob Hope hosting it 18 times.  Billy Crystal has been out for 30 seconds, and he's the funniest thing tonight not named Kirk Douglas.   So now, we take a look back at the 25th Annual Academy Awards, hosted by Bob Hope.  Bob says, "The Academy Awards, or as its known at my house, Passover."  Its a hologram of Bob on the real Oscar podium, introducing what else...

931p... Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law come out to do Visual Effects.  Token shot at RDJ's ho filled past by Jude Law, mildly funny banter, and to the nominees we go!  I went with Inception... and the winner is... Inception.  During the clip, they showed the hallway fight scene, and the big tunnel made to do that scene--you can't show that and then not give Inception the award.  Its a techie sweep!  And I get my 10th win!  And... I still have 8 losses.  Boo.

934p... Film Editing is the next award.  I chose The Social Network, and the winner is... Facebook!  11-8!

937p... S'Ray just texted me the following:  The dress that the escort taking people off stage was
designed by Borris Powell... my high school drum major from the little town of Piedmont, Alabama.

940p... I asked "Is he a fashionista now?" and he replies, "He was on the red carpet tonight and reported that Valentino loved his design."  So, there ya go.

940p... James and Anne are back... Anne is ravishing in red.  James makes some innuendo jokes on movie titles (Winter's Bone?) and they introduce Jennifer Hudson, who then introduces the final two songs nominated for Best Song.  First is "If I Rise" from "127 Hours". 

942p... I am now going to sing the first part of "If I Rise"... "fa la wa wa la wa wa... fla wa lo lo la la..."

943p... Here's Gwynth Paltrow to sing her song from "Country Strong", the one I picked to win the award.   And the winner is?  The one I didn't think would get it, Randy Newman's "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3.  I'm 11-9 on the night, and The Lovely Steph Leann is irritated that the Tangled song didn't win.

948p... Twenty noms, only his 2nd win.  That's kinda wrong.

949p... The Lovely Steph Leann is still railing against Tangled's loss.

951p... Just saw on Facebook... Discussing the chick who sang the song from "127 Hours", Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) says, "I want Florence from Florence and the Machine to go to Melissa Clark and get a new hairstyle.."

952p... Celine Dion brings us back from break, and its the In Memorium montage.  Celine Dion looks like she's 54, trying desperately to look 34.   So far, no applause for anyone yet, even though they showed Tony Curtis already. 

Corey Haim.  December 23, 1971 to
March 10th, 2010.  Rest in Peace, Lost
Boy, Rest in Peace.

953p... With no applause for Leslie Nielsen, I am now guessing they have the Applause-o-Meter turned off.  There's no way Leslie doesn't get a round of clapping.   Don't know who Susanna York is, but she had bad teeth.  Hope that didn't contribute to her death...

955p... My guess would be that Dennis Hopper and Blake Edwards would get the biggest round of applause for the night, but no clapping until the very end.  Out comes Halle Berry to tell us about Lena Horne, who died this past year.  She gets a good tribute, and we fade to commercial...

958p... No Corey Haim.  That's tragic.

1001p... The show is officially running long.  Anne Hathaway is in a deep blue silky looking gown.  She introduces Hillary Swank, who is a... gulp... two time (!) Academy Award winner!

1002p... Last year's Best Director, Kathyrn Bigalow, who won for "The Hurt Locker", is out to give away Best Director.   The Oscar goes to... Tom Hooper, for "The King's Speech".  This now seals Speech as Best Picture, if you ask me.  I picked Fincher for "The Social Network", so now I'm 11 wins, 10 losses.  Forget beating my all time record, I'll be lucky to finish above 500...

1005p... James looks like he's on drugs.  He brings out Annette Bening.  She tells us about The Governor's Awards, which is a Lifetime Achievement ceremony for legendary Hollywoodians.  Eli Wallach is one shown given an award, as is Frances Ford Coppola.  I personally like doing a special tribute to someone on the actual show itself, though they do bring out Eli, Frances and another honoree to the stage.  They get standing ovations, of course.

1011p... James and Anne introduce Jeff Bridges to give Best Actress.  The show is in full "We are behind!" mode, so things are speeding up.   He mentions Annette Bening's nomination... as much as I hated "The Kids are All Right", I think Julianne Moore was ten times better than Annette.  

1014p... I like how Jeff Bridges is talking to each nominee, not just saying their name and their movie, but discussing how good each of them were.   I'm sure the Oscars' producers are like "hurry it up, Jeff!" because he's taking forever, but its cool.

1016p... And the Oscar goes to... Princess Padme Amidala.  I picked Annette Bening to win, and I'm absolutely fine that she didn't.  I know, I know, "Black Swan" is sort of a gay ballet movie too, but its got to be better than "The Kids are All Right".   11-11

1018p... So, right in the middle of Natalie Portman's speech... not only does my internet go down, but my Dish Network goes down as well. 

1021p... Apparently, someone introduced Sandra Bullock during the outage, because here she is.  She mentions Javier Bardem, then turns to Jeff Bridges and says, "Dude, you already won this.  Let someone else win this for a change."  True Grit was a great film, by the way.  She tells Jesse Eisenberg in saying, "You've inspired lonely young men hunched over keyboards around the world." 

1025p... And the Oscar goes to... The President and Founding Member in Good Standing of The Colin Firth Club.  The Lovely Steph Leann cheers loudly, claps and waves her hands as Colin Firth accepts the Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance in "The King's Speech."   So I'm pretty confident I'll get the Best Picture win, making me 13-11 for the night.

1027p... Colin Firth gives a classy, eloquent, funny and well spoken acceptance.  The Lovely Steph Leann is giggling like a 4th grader.   Well done, Colin, well done.

1029p... The Best Motion Picture Oscar is up next, after these messages.

1032p... James and Anne shout, "Steven Spielberg!"  He comes out, and has in his hand an envelope that contains three words:  "The" "Kings" "Speech".  Ten best picture nominees.  While seeing Colin Firth do his King's Speech in the King's Speech, we see clips from all the Best Picture nominees. 

1034p... Who, besides K-Dub, would have ever expected to hear the words "Best Picture Nominee" and "Justin Timberlake" in the same sentence?   Said with a straight face?

1035p... "The King's Speech" takes the Oscar.  I finish the night 13-11, a horrible showing.  The Lovely Steph Leann cheers on the picture win.

So there is the Oscars.  James Franco and Anne Hathaway say goodnight... James seems like he was a little bothered by the whole hosting thing,  but Anne sounded like she was having the time of her life the entire show. 

We finish the show by having a kids choir sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and the Oscar winners for the night come out all together, making a pretty cool visual, many of them holding up their Oscars. 

And that's a wrap.  Thanks for reading, see you this week...

This Year's Oscar Winners

So, here are the winners in the 2011 Academy Awards.... as I go 24-0 tonight.  I think the most I've ever gotten correct was 20, so this year, we go undefeated!

The Minor Catagories

(not minor to the winners, obviously, but still...)

Film Editing

Nominees:  127 Hours... Black Swan... The Fighter... The King's Speech... The Social Network

I think this comes down to 127 Hours and The Social Network, but I tend to think its Facebook's night.  Winner:  The Social Network

Cinematography

Nominees:  Black Swan... Inception... The King's Speech... The Social Network... True Grit

Because Inception was so much computer work, I think this knocks it out of contention.  I think it comes to The Kings Speech and True Grit

Winner:  The Kings Speech

Art Direction

Nominees:  Alice in Wonderland... Harry Potter 7.1... Inception... The King's Speech... True Grit

Because I know little about this catagory, and for that matter, the two preceeding it here, its a crap shoot. 

Winner:  The King's Speech

Visual Effects

Nominees:  Alice In Wonderland... Harry Potter 7.1... Hereafter... Inception... Iron Man 2

Yes, Alice might give Inception a run for its money... but no.

Winner:  Inception

Sound Mixing

Nominees:  Inception... The King's Speech... Salt... The Social Network... True Grit

Again, I have to give this to the loudest film around...

Winner:  Inception

Sound Editing

Nominees:  Inception... Toy Story 3... TRON: Legacy... True Grit... Unstoppable

As much as I'd love to see the Denzel Train movie get an Academy award, I'm predicting a techno sweep for Chris Nolan's sci-fi instant classic

Winner:  Inception

Costume Design

Nominees:  Alice in Wonderland... I Am Love... The King's Speech... Tempest... True Grit

I don't know what the heck I Am Love and Tempest even are... yes, I know, Tempest is a Shakespeare play, but I only vaguely know of a new movie from it.  Really, I think it comes to Alice or Speech, though I wouldn't be surprised if True Grit picked this one up...

Winner:  True Grit

Makeup

Nominees:  Barney's Version... The Way Back... Wolfman

If its Rick Baker involved, and I think it is, then Wolfman easy

Winner:  Wolfman

Live Action Short Film

Nominees:  The Confession... The Crush... God of Love... Na Wewe... Wish 143

I have no clue.  I always pick one, then find out another's subject is something like "a story of a man who is fighting global warming along with the injustices of Bush's senseless war", and then wish I'd picked that one to win (which it always does).  So, who knows.

Winner:  God of Love

Animated Short Film

Nominees:  Day & Night... The Gruffalo... Let's Pollute... The Lost Thing... Madagascar, Carnet de Voyage

I want Day & Night to win this badly, because it was amazing.  This was the short airing before Toy Story 3, and it was not only good in 2D, it was brilliant in 3D.  But Let's Pollute sounds like a cautionary tail of how much we are ruining our planet, and by "we", I mean us Americans.

Winner:  Let's Pollute

Documentary Short

Nominees:  Killing in the Name... Poster Girl... Strangers No More... Sun Come Up... The Warriors of Qiugang

I'm torn between Killing in the Name and The Warriors of Qiugang... not that I know a single thing about either one of them, but they both sound just leftist enough that Hollywood would vote for them.

Winner:  Killing in the Name

THE MID-GRADE CATAGORIES

(ie, not as big as Picture and Actor, but bigger than editing and sound)

Documentary Feature

Nominees:  Exit Through the Gift Shop... Gasland... Inside Job... Restrepo... Waste Land

I wanted to go with "Exit Through the Gift Shop", because I have heard alot about this film, but that doesn't always translate into Oscar gold. 

Winner:  Restrepo

Original Score

Nominees:  127 Hours... How to Train Your Dragon... Inception... The King's Speech... The Social Network

As much as the music from Inception and Speech kept me captivated, and yeah, the Dragon music was cool, I think Trent Reznor picks up the win.

Winner:  The Social Network

Original Song

Nominees:  "If I Rise" from 127 Hours... "Coming Home"  from Country Strong... "I See the Light" from Tangled... "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3

I think Randy Newman would love to add another Oscar to his collection with his Toy Story 3 song, but the problem is, most people don't remember that song.  With Toy Story, "Strange Things" and "You Got a Friend in Me" were instantly memorable, but this one, not so much.  Of course, I would love to see "I See the Light" pick this up, but I'm afraid the two Disney songs will cancel each other out, much like 2007, when the injustice of seeing both of "Enchanted"'s songs defeated by "Falling Slowly" from that random Keri Russell film. 

Winner:  "Coming Home" from Country Strong

Foreign Language Film

Nominees:  Biutiful (Mexico)... Dogtooth (Greece)... In a Better World (Denmark)... Incendies (Canada)... Outside the Law (Hors-la-Loi) (Algeria)

With all the hype surrounding Biutiful, I don't know how it doesn't pick this up.  Not that I know anything about it, but Javier Bardem being nominated for Best Actor tells me its on the radar.

Winner: Biutiful from Mexico

The Big Ones

(these are the ones everyone wants to see)

Best Animated Feature

Toy Story 3.   Doesn't matter who else is nominated.

Original Screenplay

Nominees:  Another Year... The Fighter... Inception... The Kids are Alright... The Kings Speech

You know, I don't really care who wins this, but it would warm my heart if The Kids are Alright was shut out completely.  Unfortunately, that won't happen.  Read on.

Winner:  The Kings Speech

Adapted Screenplay

Nominees:  127 Hours... The Social Network... Toy Story 3... True Grit... Winter's Bone

I'm going with the huge consensus here, a book that I hope that I can read soon

Winner:  The Social Network

Supporting Actress

Nominees:  Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with (The Fighter)... Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)... Melissa Leo (The Fighter)... Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)... Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

This is a three way race, and probably one of the most unpredictable races tonight.   Let's eliminate Jacki Weaver, she's a "its an honor to be nominated" nominee, and Helena Bonham Carter, because she was great, but she was a background character.  The thought is that Hailee Steinfeld might pull an upset if Melissa Leo and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, split their vote for The Fighter.  Truly, though, Hailee Steinfeld was amazing, especially for being like, 14.  And really, she should have been up for Best Actress because she was in most of True Grit, and she was brilliant in it, but in Supporting Actress, she has a shot.  However, my Hollywood girlfriend would be upset if I picked against her...

Winner:  Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with

Supporting Actor

Nominees:  Christian Bale (The Fighter)... John Hawkes (Winter's Bone)... Jeremy Renner (The Town)... Mark Ruffalo (The Kids are Alright)... Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)

Here's who might win... Mark Ruffalo, because he was pretty good in what is truly a big, fat gay movie that Hollywood loves.  Or, Geoffrey Rush, because he was so good in The King's Speech, in a flawless performance.  However, here's who should, and will, win...

Winner:  Christian Bale

Director

Nominees:  Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan)... David O. Russell (The Fighter)... Tom Hooper (The King's Speech)... David Fincher (The Social Network)... The Coen Brothers (True Grit)

Aronofsky and The Coen Brothers won't win this.  David O. Russell won't win this.  Tom Hooper is too new to win this.  That leaves...

Winner:  David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Actress

Nominees:  Annette Bening (The Kids are Alright)... Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole)... Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)... Natalie Portman (Black Swan)... Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)

I cannot wait to see Blue Valentine, because the words I have heard about Michelle Williams are words like "devastating", "heartbreaking" and "crushing".  Not a happy movie, but I would tend to think she probably is the Best Actress this year, even having not seen it.  But, she won't win.  Neither will Kidman or Lawrence, for their movies that are so little seen.  This comes down to Natalie Portman and Annette Bening.  Portman might win it, as she's the odds on favorite, but she might run into one problem:  Annette Bening is one of those actresses that Hollywood feels like should have already won an Oscar.  So, no matter the performance of Portman, it might fall prey to both a "My bad" from the Oscar community, giving her more of a lifetime award than a "good job this movie" prize, and a "We need to give this year's gay movie something, so this gets two birds with one stone".  Personally, I thought The Kids are Alright was not alright, but if you are going to give this award to someone from that film, give it to Julianne Moore.  She was better, and yet, not even nominated.  Tragic.

Winner:  Annette Bening

Best Actor

Nominees:  Javier Bardem (Biutiful)... Jeff Bridges (True Grit)... Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)... Colin Firth (The King's Speech)... James Franco (127 Hours)

Count out Bardem, Bridges and Franco right now.  This is a two way race between Eisenberg and Firth, and I really think Colin Firth will win this.  The sentiment might be that Eisenberg is just getting going, and he'll have other times, but Firth is respected and has been around a long time... but this won't be a lifetime achievement award as with Annette Bening, this is for a stellar performance.  Plus, if Colin Firth loses this, The Lovely Steph Leann might be so angry she would throw a Wii-mote through the television.  Bad times.

Winner:  Colin Firth

Best Picture

Nominees:  127 Hours... Black Swan... The Fighter... Inception... The Kids are All Right... The King's Speech... The Social Network... Toy Story 3... True Grit... Winter's Bone

Let's cut this down fast.... the only movies that have a shot at this are Inception, The Kids are All Right, The Kings' Speech and The Social Network.   It would be a pretty big upset, though if either Kids or Inception took home the prize, so its Speech or Facebook.  The sentimental pick is Speech, because its an Oscar kind of movie... however, Social Network represents almost a "new era" of Hollywood, and could be ushering in the Oscars into modern times, something the Grammy's haven't figured out yet.  Anyway, I wouldn't be upset with either one winning, but I'm giving the nod to...

Winner:  The King's Speech

Celebrating National Un-Friend Day

There is someone on Facebook--I wont say who--who, every time she updates her status, she capitalizes each word. So, rather than saying:

I took my son to the doctor today, but he's alright! Looks like God is watching out for us, and Junior just has one of those kid things that he'll get over...

...which is a fine status, right? Tells us what's going on, the kid okay, propz to Big Papa up there, I can dig it. However, Offending Facebook Chick would instead say it this way:

I Took My Son To The Doctor Today, But He's Alright! Looks Like God Is Watching Out For Us, And Junior Just Has One Of Those Kid Things That He'll Get Over.

Can I just say... this drives me nuts? I mean, it shouldn't, but it does. Drives me up the wall Every Time I See A Facebook Status Written Like This. Oh, I know what you are going to say--why not just de-friend her?

(opening new browser page... logging onto Facebook... finding offending status-leaver...)

Yeah, good idea. Solved that problem.

Speaking of un-friending...

I remember when I was a small child, living in Austin, TX, apartment 320 of The Villa Rio Apartments on Airport Boulevard. I was maybe 5 or so, and there were two chicks in the complex that I talked to. One was named Janet, a year older than me, and I was jealous because she got to go to kindergarten and I stayed at home. The other was Danielle, a tall girl, also a year older than me, who had a slight limp. One of her feet was turned inward for some reason--not that this mattered, I mean, I was 5 and was friends with anyone and everyone (except for that creepy guy in the white car who stopped and offered me candy to get in while I was walking back from the 7-11 with the latest issue of Mad Magazine--I didn't like that guy).

Well, Danielle and Janet and I were friends and we played as 5 and 6 year olds do, but every now and then, one of them would make the other mad and then that one would come to me and tell me not to be friends with other one. "Don't be her friend anymore! She did this to me... " and then they would lay out the crime that had been committed upon their youth. And for a day or so, I'd try not to be their friend, but I'd end up being their friend anyway... and of course, I'm sure Janet would tell Danielle not to be d$'s friend (actually, my last name then was Creech. No, I'm being dead serious. Did I ever tell you guys I was adopted?) and that would explain one of them, or both of them, not talking to me for a whole day.

That was real un-friending? Now... its a low tactic of secret disassociation. Admit it... sometimes it at least makes you wonder, if not drives you nuts to see your friend total end on the number "8" one day, and "7" the next... its not a big deal, that's fine if you don't want to be my friend, but at least tell me why, right?

So, yesterday, November 17th, was in fact "National Un-Friend Day", according to talk show host and comedian Jimmy Kimmel. There is a fascinating opinion piece on HuffPo about this (I know, I know, most of HuffPo's political opinions are worth about as much as used paper following a big plate of Nachos Bell Grande at the Bell, but sometimes they do have good stuff to say on things that aren't political), where the author jokingly suggests that Facebook give you a template to make the unfriending of someone a bit easier...

Jason Kitchens writes:  Dear Timmy: you've been unfriended by Billy due to the fact that, despite only meeting on one occasion during the Carter Administration, you insist on sending those insufferable invitations to assist you in building a make-believe pigpen for your virtual farm. You do so incessantly and without regard for societal norms that exist in real life (a world you might consider visiting from time-to-time). Therefore, you are officially no longer deemed "friends" with Billy. Grievance counseling is available for those with health insurance via the following link..."

And in the spirit of the Kimmel-created day, I did my own scanning down the list of friends. Understand, I have a lot of friends in the real world, many of which do not have FB accounts, or check them much if they do. And I have a lot of "friends" on Facebook as well... some of which... well, I don't really know how they have access to my page. I'm one of those, close up the page, hide the pics unless you are my friend kind of guys, so for those of you who are on my "friend" list, you have a smorgasbord of information, pictures and other meaningless propaganda that the other 5,999,999,050 people do not have. Consider it an honor.

"Remember how, five years ago, when no one was on Facebook and you didn't know what the guy you took high school biology with was having for lunch?  Remember how that was... fine?"

But in scanning, how do decide to who chunk, and who to keep? Surely, I don't talk to 975 people on weekly, even monthly basis. The list of people that I talk to daily runs about two deep. I live with and am married to one--The Lovely Steph Leann--and see the other six, if not seven days a week, am close to and work with, that being Melanie Z. Doesn't hurt that both are highly, highly attractive people.

The list of people I talk to weekly runs, I dunno, forty, fifty, if I had to throw out a ballpark number... people like JustFish, Emmy Turnbow, C'ray and S'ray, J Taylor, etc, but if I don't go to church that week, that number drops dramatically.

But that still leaves a number of people who don't fall into either category... so how to decide who to keep and who to punt?

Well.. here's who stays:

• People I know well... heck, this would encompass the above two categories for the most part.
• People I used to know well, and still like to keep up with. My friend Michelle Carr, who spends her life doing missions, is one example. Spivey, who used to be a close buddy of mine, is another.
• People I used to know well, don't keep up with very well, but still like knowing I can say "hey" when I want to: This would include most fraternity brothers, most BCM Members at Troy and much of Samson High School... say what you want, but if you are from a small town like Samson, then everyone who is from that town thinks they should be friends with everyone else from that town. Not true, and I've proven that by the number of requests I've ignored because... well, frankly, I have no idea who you are, despite the fact you lived two blocks over from my house and knew my mom.
• People I don't know very well, but have communicated with in the past and want to keep that line open. Stephen Crews comes to mind, as does Brock Parker. Never met either one of them personally, but have had good conversations with them online and look forward to more.
• People with whom I want to keep a connection with, if only for selfish reasons. Ambre Lake, Brooke from The Bachelor, several radio personalities that I know. Who knows when I'll need a favor from them?
• People I've tagged in pictures: I hate not having pictures tagged, especially if I have a lot of certain people. People like Pam Yau, Wendy Alexander, Michael Knowles--I mean, I cannot remember the last conversation I had with them, don't know when I'll talk to them again, but darn it, I've got pics of them online.
• People who I know, and think, read my website. Looking at my stats, I know about 30% of referrals come from the link I post on Facebook... so if you've commented on a post, or on the site, or whatever, then I know you read it--or if you "like" Clouds in My Coffee on Facebook, chances are, I'm keeping you around for a while longer, anyway.

I'll be completely honest--were it not for my desire for readership on what I write, I'd probably whittle my entire list down to about 400 people or less.  But, as it stands, I know that link in my status is worth something to my page loads.  So there it is--I'm a narcissist.

I would say most of my "friends" on Facebook fall into those above listings. However, about 50 people did not. And... well, they got booted on National Un-Friend Day.  This is going to sound so, so mean, but let's be honest with ourselves--I am sure that when I am unfriended, its much of the same thought processes...

Just about anyone that, if I saw in the supermarket, I might walk an extra aisle over to avoid--not that I don't like them or anything, its just the whole "hey how are you, I'm good, how is life, yadda yadda" that we'll forget the next day.  People who I don't know well, or used to know well and aren't really all that concerned with keeping up with, or will serve me no purpose in the future, or I have no pics of, or I am pretty sure don't ever look at Clouds.  Oh, and if you don't even smile or wave at me when I see you in church or around town, you are outta there.  And, if I see you on FB chat and it takes me longer than ten seconds to figure out who you are?  Gone. 

There is a safe list, of course... people who I'd never dream of dropping on FB.  And some of you, I'm sure, want to be on that list, some of you probably don't care either way--but to be on it, then make sure you are my real friend, not just my virtual friend.  Otherwise, come November 17th, 2011, I might trim more FB Fat. 

Oh, And It Doesn't Help If Your Status Reads Like This.