top ten blogging in 2014

At the risk of being one of those blog sites who says "Hey, everyone come see how good I look!" or maybe "Hey, everyone come be moved by my brilliant words and the amazing way I put thoughts into verbal emotions!"... I thought this year's end might be a good idea to do something different.

For the first several years of the blogsite, maybe 2005 to 2011, I did a "Coolest 100 Things of the Year", and they were a collection of people, music, movies, events, life happenstances, books and more that I experienced or discovered for the first time in that particular year... and I'll honestly say, sometimes it was met with controversy over who/what got in, who/what got out, and a lighthearted look back for me turned into a little drama here and there, which made it not worth it. Oh, and I got lazy (what's new?) and even finished my favorite 100 things of 2011 IN the year 2013. I decided that was that for that segment.

But now, I look back at the year on the blog, and see that I've managed 85 posts (not counting this one). That number seems a bit inflated, as I participated in--and succeeded--in a challenge that had me blogging 33 straight days from late September to early November. Considering that is more blogging than I did from March thru September in total, "85" is a deceptive number, but here we are anyway.

January set forth my first writing challenge of the year, where I attempted to write an average of 500 words per day for the month. Then I set my goals for the year 2014, in Part One and then Part Two... and will probably give a post next week to let you know how I did (batting .300 is great in baseball right? Why can't it be okay for real life?).
As I mentioned before, October brought a 31 Day writing challenge, which I #humblebrag in saying that I more than completed. There are other challenges I failed to meet, like my attempt to take on the 100 Happy Days phase that is/was all over Instagram and Facebook, and what I was to call "My Summer of Happy", with 100 posts about things I enjoy. But I've come to learn that I can't give myself a topic, such as "Happy things", and expect myself to blog about that same topic for post upon post upon post... mostly because I'm all over the map, as anyone who has been here more than a few times will see.

So, for anyone new to the blog, or if you just want the good stuff, here are the ten posts this year that I really, really liked. And that's not including my homage to the late, great Casey Kasem... thoughts on Clint Eastwood's "Any Which Way You Can"... thoughts on Pitbull both here and here (yes--TWO posts about Pitbull. What.)... and writing with and without a filter.

2014's Top Ten, as chosen by me, based not only on popularity but also how much pride I had in it when re-reading it..

10... We decided to start (or, start again for the 10,000th time) on our spring cleaning. And when you have a pile of junk in the garage, it's worth documenting some of the strange things you come across. My friend Writer Chris Holmes said this was one of his favorite posts I've ever written... for pictures of not only rubber chickens and Microsoft 2003, but also the General Lee, here's "Things We Found In the Garage" from January 5th.

9... Sometimes as a writer, you just have to write, and sometimes it doesn't make any sense at all. Sometimes it's just a bunch of random words late at night that for whatever reason, a bunch of people tell they read and laughed at and enjoyed. What did I write? Nothing but the "Things Carly Simon Made Me Say Late at Night" from January 27th.

8... The fervor of the "Washington Redskins is a racist nickname" hit a fever pitch this past summer and I sat back and watched carefully, deciding where I fell on the issue (which is, that "Redskins" is not racist, or if it is, it's suspect to suddenly come after it now, after all this time). However, when a select few members of the University of Mississippi release a report saying how they are offended by the school's "Rebel" mascot... well, I just had to join in and declare "Ole Miss is Racist!". From August 9th.

7... I think one of my favorite posts from the last several years was actually one written in 2013, all about inclusion, which I'm passionate about (and likely fail miserably at doing). Another story was brought up in my mind this past spring, as I noticed on Facebook a high school friend of mine was having a birthday. I hadn't thought about him in years, and yet, the story of "Kenny Weeks & Wall Street Football" came rushing back--and had to be shared. From March 5th.

6... I love discussing pop culture, and I love making lists. So when I can do the two of them together, and talk about OutKast, Garth Brooks, Expose, Bob Seger, Janet Jackson, Taylor Swift, Fergie and more, I do it. All are including in my "Playlist for Hustla's", from January 17th.

5... With recent events in my own life (that I cannot share right here on this site, but you are welcome to ask about it), the words "leap of faith' stand out strong in my heart and mind. So re-reading this one made me smile. Because sometimes, you just have to get on that skateboard of life and ride... worried about safety? Remember that "You Can't Be Safe on a Skateboard". From February 4th.

4... Sometimes its the memories we have from our childhood that resonate with us 30 years later, much like this story from Samson Elementary, involving GI Joe, Wonder Woman and an unnamed kid who's spoils fuel the creativity of an unpopular 5th grader. It's all about getting "Clarity from an Invisible Jet", from February 10th.

3... Every year on his birthday, I make a note to Campbell, something I hope he will read when he gets older. This year's letter was popular with readers. From November 30th, "To Campbell, on Your 3rd Birthday" (his b'day is December 1st, it just got published literally 20 minutes from midnight, giving it a 11/30 publish date instead of a 12/1 date. Details, details.)

2... Ah, marriage. And pride. And pride in marriage can be a bad thing sometimes. It's a little story about butting heads as a husband and wife, and a lesson that "Pride Goeth Before the Squeeze" from February 24th.

And my favorite post of the year that I've written...

1... Autism is tough. It's a hard thing to push through, and it's tempting to wallow in parental misery about all the things you are missing. But one thing we are learning, re-learning and telling ourselves over and over is that The Lovely Steph Leann and I have to remember to "Don't Mourn the Can't, Instead Love the Can"

So there ya go... if you like one or more of those posts, then you'll enjoy the blog. If you clicked on a couple and decided "this guys sucks!", then I have a feeling this blogsite won't be for you. But you should come anyway, in case I write something that you do like! 

Thanks for reading.

pride goeth before the squeeze

Before a downfall, a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor - Proverbs 18:12


Pride is a funny thing. Now, I know what you are thinking... with that kind of statement, you think I'm about to reveal to you some sort of deep truth, make some sort of admittance of guilt to you, where I was shamed and my pride created a downfall in my life, thereby creating a perfect teachable moment to you, born of my humiliation and, because its me, probably comical come-uppence.

No, sorry.

But I do want to talk about pride, and yes, I do have a story. 

The Lovely Steph Leann and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary this week, on Friday, to be exact. Ten years we've been together, and like many marriages, we strive to not just be roommates, or to stay in our comfortable roles of Mommy and Daddy... no, we are Hubs and Wife, and as any parent will tell you, its tough to be that way sometimes.

We had a sitter overnight on Saturday night, which was great--The Lovely Steph Leann's sister Angie took young Campbell Isaiah for the night to her family, freeing us up for a non-baby 24 hour period.

Now, before you raise your eyebrows, start chanting "Bow-chicka-wow-wow" and high-fiving each other, I guess I should tell you that we were both struck on Wednesday with some sort of funk, some virus that kicked us both in the teeth... or better yet, stomach... or to really TMI it up, in the back end... and it was pretty miserable.

Also worth mentioning, I've gone through several evenings with vicious acid reflux, one night so badly that I couldn't lay flat for more than 20 minutes without having horribly painful coughing fits and...

...well, you get the idea. 

So, you can stop the sing-along to H-Town's 1994 classic "Knock Knock Knockin' Da Boots", because really, we were just happy to have some time together and some quiet. 

We went to dinner at Seasons 52, up at the Summit shopping area, a place we'd never been. We had been gifted a gift card, so we thought it was good to try it out, because we knew it might be a bit pricy. Since we had money toward the bill, it was a now-or-never type idea. And we weren't disappointed... it was a fantastic meal, the service was just awesome, the atmosphere was great, and because we declared it our 10th Anniversary Dinner (because we had a sitter... we have no sitter lined up for our actual anniversary), the server and manager even gave us some extra bonuses.

We didn't get to dinner until after 8, so it was nearly 930 by the time we finished... our movie plans were pushed off until the next day, Sunday, and we just wanted to go home, get a few around the house things done and relax. 

All went well... but those of you married folk, or in deep, serious relationship, know that sometimes one little thing can ruin an evening. And if "ruin" is too strong a word, then sometimes one little thing can be annoying enough to make you just say, "Eh. I'm going to sleep."

And we had one of those little head butting moments that everyone has, and as per usual, at exactly the wrong moment. A room full of happiness and togethery time suddenly became a room of slight tension, quiet and awkward moments and a desire of two people who probably want to just open up and say, "Ok, so this is what is bothering me" but aren't saying a word because we both know its so silly... and maybe pride is saying, "Well, why should I say something? Not my fault. Or not all my fault, anyways..."

Ah, Pride. Such a silly thing.

So, after a little chit-chat with the air thick in the room with disagreement, the lights go out. She on one side, I on the other. Silence. More little chit-chat. A few coughs here and there, some very romantic throat clearing and nose-blowing. Silence.

Silence between a husband and wife when there is something unpleasant, and worse yet, unspoken, between them is louder than a thousand jet engines. 

Finally, she turned on one side. More silence. A little more chit-chat about stuff that I don't remember.
Silence.

I then felt as if I should do one single thing... no, not apologize. Not yet. I didn't feel as if I should say anything. 

I felt led to make one simple gesture. To take my hand, my left and place it on her shoulder. Just a little squeeze, nothing more. Nothing sexual, nothing funny, nothing annoying like poking her or anything. Just put that hand on her shoulder and squeeze. 

But I didn't do it. 

Why should I? Right? Putting that hand up there then tells her "Hey, its okay. I was probably being stupid. I love you." And I didn't want to do that... I mean, I wasn't being stupid! I was justified! I was in the right, I was correct on my stance on the issues in question! I'm not putting my hand up there!

And so as I lay flat on my back, in the darkness, wide awake and knowing she was too, even though she lay with her back to me, my left arm stayed still. 

Again, I felt led... just put your hand on her shoulder. That fixes it. That solves it. That's the pin that punctures the balloon of tension, that's the blade that cuts through the silence and gives her a sense of "its okay. I love you."

My arm lay still. I didn't even move my hand, my fingers.

I mean, screw that. I spend way too much time in the rest of my world being right and being treated like I was wrong, or barely getting any acknowledgment for my being right, even when I prove those people wrong. I mean, I don't know why she didn't just agree with me, why she didn't just...

...why she just...


...she didn't...

...why... me... I... me... I... me... I... me... me... me...

...and Pride laughed at me, heartily and fully. Pride laughed at me in my head and in my heart and gave me a stomach twist that no virus could ever approach.

Slowly, I lifted my left arm. I placed my hand on her shoulder, and squeezed gently. Just once. It remained there for a few seconds, then I moved my arm back to where it was. 

"I love you," I whispered.

Silence.

"I love you too," she whispered back.

Pride took an hour of our precious non-Campbell time. Could have been the whole night... and what's worse is, shortly thereafter, I came down with more not-feeling-good'ness... So our time was already limited, unknown to us.

(after a long night of trying to sleep, and up early for church--me, as I had KidStuf, so I let her sleep the morning away, we had a fantastic afternoon of The LEGO Movie, lunch, a little shopping and great conversations... lots and lots of laughing... and a brief chat later on about our differences from the night before... Pride can suck it.)

What precious time is Pride robbing from you? 

And what gentle squeezes on the shoulder are you refusing to give, because Pride is telling you that you're right, they are wrong and to give in would be weak? 


(10,616 words in #15KWordsInFebruary... 4,384 to go)