Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Subway Fresh Conversation

Walking into Subway, wanting to eat fresh, picking up a sandwich for myself and for my awesome manager...

Habeeb, in broken English:  Can I help you, sir?
Me: Yes, I need to get two sandwiches.

Habeeb, in broken English:  Yes, what two sandwiches would you like sir?
Me:  I need to get two sandwiches, both are six inch.  One is turkey on white, the other is chicken on parmesan oregano

Habeeb, in broken English:  Okay, turkey. Foot long or six inch?
Me:  Six inch.  They are both six inch subs

Habeeb, in broken English:  Okay, turkey on six inch.  What bread?
Me: White

Habeeb, in broken English:  Okay, cheecken?  Foot long?
Me:  Six inch.  Parmesan oregano bread

Habeeb, in broken English:  Turkey on white, cheecken on oregano.  Both six inch?
Me:  Yes, both six inch.

Habeeb gets bread and cuts.  He places chicken on one bread, turkey on the other.

Habeeb, in broken English:   Cheese?
Me: Yes, please.  Cheddar on both, please, and both toasted.
Habeeb, in broken English:  Okay, cheddar cheese.

Habeeb places cheddar cheese on the turkey.

Habeeb, in broken English:  Cheese on other?  What kind?
Me:  Cheddar.  On that one too.

Habeeb, in broken English:  You want toasted? 
Me:  Yes, please.  Both of them.

Habeeb, in broken English:  Cheecken toastes.  You want turkey toasted?
Me:  Yes, please.  Both of them.

Habeeb places both sandwiches in oven for 15 seconds.  Both sandwiches come out, looking fresh. 

Habeeb, in broken English:  Okay, what on turkey?
Me, speaking each ingredient slowly so as to allow him time to build the sandwich:  Mustard... Lettuce... Tomato... Banana Peppers... Oil & Vinegar

Habeeb, places all these things on the turkey sandwich.  I cringe as the same gloves used to pick up banana peppers with the juice dripping off are now placed on my own chicken sandwich.

Habeeb, in broken English:  Okay, what on cheecken?
Me:  Mustard...

I watch as Habeeb uses an almost empty bottle of mustard to squeeze a blob of mustard onto one end of the sandwich, accompanied by that farting noise an empty bottle is wont to make.

Me:  Mayo

I watch as Habeeb uses an overly full mayo bottle to squeeze out a line of mayo, from one end of the sandwich to the other, a line that looks about two inches wide.

Me:  A little bit of ranch

I watch as Habeeb squeezes the ranch bottle a little too tightly, giving an enormous amount of ranch on one side, then realizing his mistake, he uses just a trickle to cover the other five inches

Me:  Black olives

I watch as Habeeb grabs a few pieces of black olives and drops them right in the middle of the sandwich.

Me:  Would you mind adding just a few more?  Thank you.

I watch as Habeeb now grabs a handful and covers 94% of the sandwich in a inch and a half thick layer of black olives.

Me:  And just a few pickles

I watch as Habeeb then grabs all the pickles his hand will hold, and drops them onto my sandwich.  He's been burned already by having to go back to the black olive well, he's bound and determined to make this single pickle allotment the only pickle allotment needed.

Me:  And that's all. 

I watch as Habeeb folds my sandwich, using gloves that are drenched with banana peppers and black olive juice and pickle droppings.

Me:  Okay, just make one sandwich into a combo, if you don't mind.  Thanks.


Habeeb, in broken English, now standing at the register: Okay, what sandwiches you have again?

Anybody else? 

The Summer of Blogging Day Twenty Six

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