1) Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down. Or, if you'd rather, we can leave it down... all the time.
2) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present!
3) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
4) Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
5) Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks.
6) Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
7) Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
8) Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
9) Shopping is not sport.
10) Anything you wear is fine. Really.
11) You have enough clothes.
12) Don't ever ask, "Do you think she's prettier than me?"
13) Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
14) Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
15) No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
16) Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
17) Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
18) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
19) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
20) Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
21) Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
22) Check your oil.
23) Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
24) It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
25) Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
26) If something we said can be interpreted makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
27) If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
28) You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done but not both
29) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
30) Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
32) Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
33) The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
The Summer of Blogging Day Twenty Seven