THIS IS THE
AMERICAN IDOL
RESULTS
We just finished the performance show, and The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up and says, "I'm ready for results, because I'm ready to go eat soon." Well said.
Here come the Top 8 Idols, and apparently, Joshua Lidit (its "Lidit", not "Lidet") passed out backstage, and Seacrusty promises us performances from The Wanted (some British band), some PICKLES! and a J-Lo video.
So what do we think about the J-Lo video?
Fast Forward through Jennifer Lopez's video... as we see 1/2 second clips as I hit the "Advance 30 seconds" button, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "that looks scary."
Fast Forward through Commercial Break
Fast Forward through Ford Music Video
And now, results... done by Duets from last night. First up, its Joshua Lidit and J-Sanch. Jimmy Iovine tells us he gives Joshua "Tens all around" for his performance, and for J-Sanch, he says, "She did what she does--but needed a bigger song."
Dim the lights, here we go! After the nationwide vote, Seacrusty pulls a fakerooni and says, "Joshua... you won't be happy... until you sit on the couch and relax." Then he sends J-Sanch back to the Couch of Comfort with a similar statement.
Fast Forward through Commercial Break.
Fast Forward through The Wanted... they were unwanted. HA!
Fast Forward through Commercial Break
And now, results... Little Skylar Laine and Colton Dixon join Seacrusty centerstage, for their Jimmy Iovine feedback. He says that Skylar has a big voice and big talent. For Colton, he says, that he needs to be better in the future. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Boo!"
Seacrusty then brings D'Crappensuck and Hollie Cav centerstage to join Colton Dixon and Little Skylar Laine. Jimmy Iovine says that Hollie's song wasn't even as good as a high school performance. Ouch. He then says that D'Crappensuck was not great, no matter what the judges say! I love this guy. Jimmy, not D'Crappensuck.
Dim the lights, here we go! After the nationwide vote, Seacrusty tells us that D'Crappensuck... is headed to the Silver Stools of Suck! That's the first step. If nothing else, thank you for that, America. Now, Colton Dixon... joins the others on the Couch of Comfort. So between Little Skylar Laine and Hollie Cav, who were both in the Bottom Three last week, its Hollie Cav who goes back to the Silver Stools of Suck, while Little Skylar Laine goes to Couch of Comfort!
 |
| Pickles! Pickles! Piiiiiccccklllleeesss!!! |
Fast Forward through Commercial Break
And that now leaves Phillip2 and Elise Testosterone. And I'm guessing that Phillip2 won't be going home, which is sad. Well, I dont want P2 to go home, but I feel like the judges just don't like E-Test, because they give her harsh words week after week, while the heap praise on Crappensuck. Jimmy Iovine sticks up for E-Test, saying that she didn't do as well on stage, but sounded great in rehearsals. He says that P2 didn't give his best either.
Dim the lights, here we go! After the nationwide vote, Seacrusty sends Phillip2 back to the Couch of Comfort, and E-Test heads to the Silver Stools of Suck. Unfortunately.
So now, D'Crappensuck, Hollie Cav and E-Test are the Bottom Three. Seacrusty then sends Hollie Cav immediately back to the Couch of Comfort. And this is just sad.
Fast Forward through Commerical Break
Seacrusty asks the judges about these two in the bottom, and Creepy Uncle Steven says, "America got it wrong", while Randy the Dawg and J-Lo say, "America got it half-right..." Really? We know they mean D'Crappensuck shouldn't be there, while E-Test should, because at least J-Lo is in this love affair with the Haired Craptastic.
Thankfully, America gets it right... Elise Testosterone, who shouldn't have been in the Bottom Three, let alone the Bottom Three, gets a reprieve, while D'Crappensuck will now Sing for His Life! And he does his reggae "Master Blaster" from weeks ago, which is great, because it reminds me of why I don't dig this kid at all.
Of course, there is a judges save, but I'm going to say that Randy the Dawg and Creepy Uncle Steven will say "no save", while J-Lo will cry and want to save her little precious.
But no. Thank you, America, thank you very much!
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