I have been reading USA Today for about twenty years, its sort of my favorite daily paper... and with that, I have a routine. I read the entertainment section first, Section D, the "LIFE" section. I then go to the A Section, the front page and news. I next plow through the B section, "MONEY", and end with the C "SPORTS" section. I open up the USA Today paper, and right there on the front page of Friday's paper, the day after the results show has aired, I see the captioned box with a pic that says, "JUDGES USE SAVE TO KEEP ------". Except there was no "------", there was a name.
Really? Really? I mean, it wasn't like it was Monday's paper, where you had a full five days to see it... nay, this was about 12 hours or so after the actual results were aired. It would be like some paper saying "MOVIE NEWS: BRUCE WILLIS IS ACTUALLY DEAD" the Saturday morning after "The Sixth Sense" premiered in 1999.
Not even a "To find out Idol results, check 2B" or even a "Shocking results lead to judges save. Details on 3D"... nope, there was a name with a picture. So, for the second week in a row, I go into finally watching the Idol performance show already knowing who was sent home--or at least, who was voted out and saved by the Judges Save.
Of course, it didn't help that Hot Manager Melanie tossed up the word "SAVED!" on my Facebook wall... I had already learned the fate of our Idol, but it might have given me more than I wanted to know.
This is American Idol.
As we see a video of last week's disposal of D'Crappensuck, the show asks us via words on the screen "How do you find strength"... and then "to watch your friends"... and then "leave one by one?"... and then "You remember..." and finally, "Who you are singing for..." This led to this exchange:
The Lovely Steph Leann: Really? You are going to end a sentence in a preposition on American TV?
Me: So... it should have said "Remember for whom you are singing"?
The Lovely Steph Leann: Yup.
|Hey The Lovely Steph Leann... this is an Akon|
Her: Who is that guy on screen?
Her: A... who?
Me: Akon. A-K-O-N
Her (pause): Who?
When I think of Akon, I can only think "Whooo-hooo! Weee-hooo! Whooo-hooo! Weee-hooo!" as featured in Gwen Stefani's "Great Escape", a good song to hear about once every three weeks or so.
Little Skylar Laine comes up first, singing a song that Jimmy Iovine says, "Here's a tune from Pickles that none of us really knew", which is funny, because I am very familiar with "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You" and like it very much.
|Like I would give up a legitimate chance to show|
a pic of Pickles
Randy the Dawg agrees with me, saying this was "in your wheelhouse!" and says, "picture perfect pitch!" J-Lo loved it. Creepy Uncle Steven, wearing the stretched out skin of what looks like a python, loved it too.
And now comes the dude ALL the chicks are digging, Colton Dixon, and he's singing a song from Skylar Grey called "Love the Way You Lie". Who is Skylar Grey? What is "Love the Way You Lie"? I thought that was an Eminem song with Rhianna backing it up? And as he starts rehearsing, it IS that Eminem/Rhianna song... but a slow version, non-rappity version. Weird.
Sitting at a white piano, amidst a blanket of fog that rolls across the stage, complete with a string section, Colton brings it. The kids in the front of the audience have their full arm-sway going, and I'm expecting to at least see a cell phone with a flame image on it, if not a real lighter. And that, my friends, is a performance.
The judges loved it, as did each of us in The Cabana.
But who is Skylar Grey?
DUET TO IT!!! Last week's duet was a success, so here's another one from Elise Testosterone and Phillip2! They will be singing "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye. What? Who?
|So this is a Gotye?|
The judges loved it, as did each of us in The Cabana.
But who is Gotye?
Jessica Sanchez, the little girl with huge talent and small personality, is doing a song by Jazmine Sullivan, called "Stuttering". What... who is... what?
I need to get in my car and listen to three straight hours of "Top 20" channel on my SiriusXM radio. I'll have to hear lots of crap, but will hopefull get an idea of what's out there now. I feel like everything after "Hey Soul Sister" by Train doesn't exist.
Once again, J-Sanch does a great job, and sounds nearly perfect, even on a song that I have never heard. But watching this show late at night, when I got less than 5 hours sleep both last night and the night before, and worked a good 8 hours today (beginning at 515am) means that you need to keep me awake. And she barely does. Great talent, no personality.
The Lovely Steph Leann agrees as she's asleep now. The judges however, loved the fool out of it.
But who is Jazmine Sullivan?
The one name I struggle with constantly is Joshua's last name. I've used "Lidet", "Ledit", "Lidit" and now, I think I've figured out, its "Ledet". Dont' ask me how I missed this so far, but there ya go. And Ledet freaks out when Seacrusty shows him a video of Fantasia wishing him luck. From Fantasia to Mantasia, she says.
He is singing Bruno Mars... finally an artist I've heard of! And he's doing "Runaway Baby"... a song I've never heard of. Gotta admit though, I like it. Its fast, flashy and fun, which sounds like the name of an edition of "13 Going On 30".
Creepy Uncle Steven implore Joshua to get the number of the trombone player. J-Lo gushes. Randy the Dawg also gushes. And I liked it too.
|This is Jason Aldean. However, it would not have|
taken a whole lot of convincing to get me to believe
it was Chris Cagle. Or James Otto. Or Luke
Bryan. Or Eric Church. Or Josh Turner. Aren't
they really all the same now?
Worth noting--this is the second song of the night where young Little Skylar Laine has sung the words "we are making love" or a close variation of that.
Creepy Uncle Steven earns his nickname by saying "you just made love to each other by singing that song", which jabs the ongoing rumors that Colton and Skylar are an item. J-Lo loved it. Randy the Dawg just sorta, kinda liked it. And I know the feeling.
Hollie Cav has her turn next... and for the first time, I'm actually noticing her accent. Like, her Brit accent. Its really, really prominent. How did I miss that?
Anyway, she's going "Perfect" by Pink. She has stripped it down, made it into a ballad of sorts and I thought she sounded really, really good. I mean, "Perfect" is not perfect, but it'll do. The last note of "Perfect" was perfect, though.
And J-Lo gives her the "You look beautiful tonight" line. Crap. What a crap line. Creepy Uncle Steven tells her it wasn't perfect, and again admires her looks. Randy the Dawg says it wasn't perfect, but she did redeem herself again.
Both The Lovely Steph Leann and I agree that it sounded really good.
Seacrusty tells us that Phillip2 is doing a huge smash from Maroon 5, a song called "Give a Little More", another song that I've never heard. Guess I missed that one too, or perhaps it wasn't a smash? He's got guitar in hand, doing it acoustically.
He sounds good, but he seems like's doing more yelling instead of singing. I liked it, but didn't love it.
Creepy Uncle Steven loved it. J-Lo barely liked it. Randy the Dawg says, "...it is kind of a radio song, if that's what you want..." which makes me think... Yeah Randy, getting their song on the radio... that's what they want. But I digress.
DUET TO IT! Since there are 7, and they have done two duets already, that leaves 3. So why not just put all three together, right? Joshua Ledet, J-Sanch and Hollie Cav are taking on Kelly Clarkson's "What Doesn't Kill You (stronger)".
Her: Those earrings are killing me
Me: Who, Sanchez?
Her: No, Hollie. Those feathers on her chest are part of her earrings. Really?
The song went on a little long, and was just okay.
And that leaves the one, the only, Elise Testosterone, who sees a video from Jason Segel saying he's rooting for the E-Test and sets up the "Jeff, Who Lives at Home" movie promotion.
Back to E-Test. I love this chick's voice... she's doing "You and I" by Lada Gaga, probably my favorite Gaga song. In fact, when it was really popular last year, the first time I heard it, I thought it was a country song with Carrie Underwood. Okay, I only thought that for half-a-minute, but still... I do like this song.
Elise Testosterone is doing her thing, and sounding great, like usual. That said, she did sound a little off on a few, very few, notes.
Randy the Dawg just went nuts. J-Lo loved it. Creepy Uncle Steven also loved it.
Here's my picks, first to worst:
E-Test and P2's "Somebody that I Used to Know"... Colton Dixon's "Love the Way You Lie"... E-Test's "You and I"... Joshua Ledet's "Runaway Baby"... Little Skylar Laine's "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You"... Hollie Cav's "Perfect"... Phillip2's "Give a Little More"... J-Sanch's "Stuttering"... Hollie/Josh/Sanchez's "What Doesn't Kill You (stronger)"... Colton Dixon and Little Skylar Laine's "Don't You Wanna Stay"...
And now, the results..