Idolhemian Rhapsody

With only six contestants left, Seacrusty starts off this show by telling us that our votes count more than ever.  More than ever.  Why, you ask?  Why do our votes count so much, more than ever?  Well, because...

THIS

IS

AMERICAN

IDOL

Tonight, they revisit a them they used a few seasons back, don't ask me which because I don't remember and I don't really feel like going back and looking for it...

I do love me some Queen.  Freddie Mercury, who probably had the most infamous overbite in the history of musical overbites, was the full definition of the word "flamboyant"... and as the Idols sit down with Roger Something and Brian May of Queen, I get the sense that only Phillip2 and My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone actually realize what a big deal this is, and how amazing advice from these two guys could possibly be.

Its a two hour show tonight, and with the Idols down to six, they'll be doing two rounds... first, its their Queen renditions... and second, its a choice of their own. 

Round One:  The Queen Songs

Kicking off the show is J-Sanch, with no prepackaged video about her hometown or her day with Jimmy Iovine or what have ya... and she's taking on "Bohemian Rhapsody". And for whatever reason, they are showing her in black and white...

The Lovely Steph Leann:  I find this black and white thing very bizarre. Its not like these people in the audience can see this.  This is just... weird.

...but as J-Sanch gets to the meat of the song, the color kicks in.

Me:  That's gotta be really hard to arrange for a minute and a half song
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Its a really long song anyway... and... she's wearing sneakers.  High top sneakers with her dress.  What is that?

The judges loved this song, by the way.  For me, not a fan.

And in the second position tonight. Little Skylar Laine is taking on a monster depressing song, one called "The Show Must Go On".  Why is it depressing?  Its about Freddie Mercury's battle with AIDS, which he ended up losing in the late 80s.

Can't say I love this song, as I really appreciate it more than I like it, but this Little Skylar Laine brought it.  Creepy Uncle Steven loved it.  J-Lo gots the goosies.  Randy the Dawg, sporting a ridiculous pin that simply says "YO", loved it, skipping right past the "she's in it to win it!" and going straight to the "she's gotta have it!".  Those is some big words, Dawg.

Doing one my favorite Queen tunes, Joshua Ledet is holding one of those old school, big rectangular mics with the cord draped all over the stage... he's singing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love".   He does his thing on the stage, and the judges give him a Standing O... honestly though--and I can barely push a tune in a wheelbarrow much less carry it--to me, it was a bit screechy.

The judges are all about it, though, and J-Lo even says that her favorite part of the show is the Joshua part. 

And doing "I Want It All" is My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone.  To me, she's got this odd look about her, kinda like her face broke and was glued back together, not quite right... but I so dig her voice.  Whereas everyone so far sounds like, good or bad, they are trying to recreate the Queen song they are singing, My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone sounds like she has made this song completely her own... and I love it!

And in another one of my favorite Queen songs, Phillip2 is singing the ode to those of the fairer gender who carry with them a somewhat larger posterior... you know, junk in the trunk... a bodonkadonk... thats right, its "Fat Bottomed Girls". 

This song is so much fun to sing... "awwwwww... gonna take me home tonight!!!!"  And Phillip2 seemed perfect for this tune... though I wish the backup dancers had more going in their own backends.  I mean, if you are singing about the trunk, then show it off!

Creepy Uncle Steven loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg liked it.

And finishing up The Queen Round, its Hollie Cav doing a Queen tune that I don't really know... its called "Save Me". 

As I was fast forwarding through commercials via the --> button on my DVR remote, I looked over and noticed The Lovely Steph Leann was dozing off.  I know she's tired as a one armed paper hanger, but when she gets on her couch, Campbell Isaiah in deep sleep while draped across her chest, sometimes its hard for her to stay awake.  And I mention this only because Hollie Cav's song was really slow.

I look over, and surprisingly, The Lovely Steph Leann is awake.  Barely.

Creepy Uncle Steven loved the song.  J-Lo has been rambling about connecting to the songs for the last 27 minutes.  I think she liked it, but I'm not positive.  And Randy the Dawg, also trying to stay awake, liked it. 

I liked it, but didn't love it.   The Lovely Steph Leann?  Dozing.


ROUND TWO... The Idols Pick 'Em

We come back and see Seacrusty talking to The Saved Jessica Sanchez, who has chosen Luther's "Dance With My Father".  She's dedicating it to her father, who is being deployed overseas, apparently to Singapore rather than the Middle East--a somewhat easier place, but difficult nonetheless.  So, I dare not make fun of J-Sanch, not with her dad serving our country.

Thank you, Daddy Sanchez, for serving.

Back to J-Sanch... its good.  Well, again, I have to say her vocals are just about flawless... but still she's kinda boring.  The judges just gush on J-Sanch.  So how do I balance an incredible voice with a lifeless personality?  Sigh.

In between the performances this round, they are showing little videos of the Idols describing the Idol about to perform... and we are amused as British Hollie Cav tries to say that Little Skylar Laine is tough and "thick skinned", only she says, "Little Skylar Laine is... thick boned.  Is that how you say it?"

Going back to her roots this round, Little Skylar Laine is doing Jason Aldean's "Tattoos On This Town", a song that I had never, ever, never heard of, nor did I even know existed.  And she sounded great, like something I'd hear on WZZK here in town.  Good times.

The judges don't stand, but they do gush.

For the second go-round, Joshua Ledet is taking on India.Arie's "Ready For Love".  Not only do I not know this song, I can't tell you a single India.Arie song, neither title nor tune.

(brief pause for laundry duties and crying baby... full blown "holy crap, I just woke up and I'm frikkin' hungry, FEED ME NOW YOU STUPID PARENTS" meltdown)

And back.  Don't know the song, but I like Joshua's rendition of it, though I feel like were The Lovely Steph Leann not holding a bottle to Campbell Isaiah's face, she'd be asleep.

Randy the Dawg practically drools over this (the song, not the propective nap from The Lovely Steph Leann)... Creepy Uncle Steven smells the finish line... and J-Lo uses the word "Transcendant".  There ya go.

My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone is singing Jimi Hendrix's "Bold as Love", and I love what EW blogger Annie Barrett said about this obscure choice...  she writes, "...it seems like Elise has come to terms with the fact that she's not the judges' chosen one, so why not just go nuts, do a largely spoken-word song, and attach an orange scarf to her "melisma hand" so it will look crazier than ever?"

I didn't know the song, and I am not headed to iTunes to download it immediately, but at the same time, I thought it was great. 

And of course, the judges drill her for song choice.  Creepy Uncle Steven says, "you can't pick the cherries with your back to the tree... but I loved it."  J-Lo actually sticks up for My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone by saying, "I think you slayed that song so hard."  Randy the Dawg goes back to Creepy Uncle Steven and harps on song choice.   

Phillip2 has been compared to Dave Matthews all season, so what better way to differentiate himself from that comparison than by actually doing a Dave Matthews song?  This song is called "The Stone".  Cool voice aside, I couldn't care less about this song. 

Naturally, My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone does an obscure song and gets poohed on... but Phillip2 does it, and the judges love it.  Creepy Uncle Steven loves the fact that Phillip2 takes chances... but My Next American Idol E-Test needs to do something familiar.   Randy the Dawg wants Phillip2 to be Phillp2.  But My Next American Idol E-Test needs to please the audience.

And finally, Hollie Cav wraps up the show with...

(pause to finish feeding the grumpy 5 month old, and to give him his soothing colic tablets...)

...a song that I cannot get away from.  Miley Cyrus' "The Climb".  I say it now... if this song is anywhere near my funeral service, I'll rise from the casket like Lazerus and kick someone's teeth in before I go into the Light.

That being said, I think I liked Hollie Cav's version of this song more than any other time I've ever heard it.  As much as I don't like the song, I really like this song.  Go figure. 

The judges?  Standing O.  And gushing abounds. 

Best to Worst:  Phillip2's "Fat Bottomed Girls"... Hollie Cav's "The Climb"... Little Skylar Laine's "Tattoos On This Town"... My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone's "I Want It All"... My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone's "Bold As Love"... J-Sanch's "Dance with My Father"... Little Skylar Laine's "The Show Must Go On"...  Joshua Ledet's "Ready for Love"...  Hollie Cav's "Save Me"... J-Sanch's "Bohemian Rhapsody"... Phillip2's "The Stone"... Joshua Ledet's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"