Friday, April 20, 2012

Colton's Last Stand

And finally, I go into a finale without knowing who gets kicked off... this is good.  This is GREAT!  I'm avoiding Facebook, I'm avoiding my favorite sites like Entertainment Weekly Online, and I'm hoping to not a get a text from Hot Manager Melanie saying "Can you believe (insert fallen Idol) got the boot!?"

No more second chances.  No more safety nets.  No more Saves.  Seven start the hour.  Six will leave the hour.  Six butts on The Couch of Comfort.  One butt on the Silver Stool of Suck. 

THIS IS

THE AMERICAN

IDOL RESULTS

This exchange:

The Lovely Steph Leann:  You know what would be funny?  If after they saved The Saved Jessica Sanchez last week, American kicked off The Saved Jessica Sanchez again..
Me:  That would be high-larious

Seacrusty starts by telling us that Idol Season 8 winner Kris Allen is on the show... I saw Taylor Hicks, but apparently he's not performing.  Seacrusty also says that LMFAO is performing, to which The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Uh... who?"

Fast Forward through Group Song

Fast Forward through Commerical Break

Fast Forward through Ford Music Video

Seacrusty calls down Hollie Cav and Joshua Ledet to center stage.  What did Jimmy Iovine have to say about Joshua Ledet?  Jimmy says that Joshua did himself a lot of good, and though Hollie came out of her shell, and her choice of "Son of a Preacher Man" was a good choice.

Dim the lights, here we go.  After 53 quadrillion votes, America has put Joshua Ledet back on the Couch of Safety... he is safe.  America, however, places Hollie Cav in the Bottom Three, as she makes her way to the Silver Stools of Suck.

Fast Forward through Commercial Break


Fast Forward through Seacrusty not asking Taylor Hicks to sing


Fast Forward through Kris Allen singing


Fast Forward through Commercial Break

Now, Seacrusty pulls Little Skylar Laine and My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone to center stage.  Jimmy Iovine says "Let's Get It On" will put My Next American Elise Testosterone in the Bottom Three, if not get her sent home... but says that Little Skylar Laine is the best Idol on the show so far.

Dim the lights, here we go!  After the nationwide vote, My Next American Elise Testosterone is once again headed to the Silver Stools of Suck.  Little Skylar Laine, however, is safe.  We knew this, though.

Fast Forward through Commercial Break

This is my favorite Dick Clark.  Remember the days when
winning $25,000 on a game show was appointment TV?
Plus, a single episode would start and finish, instead of
carrying over to the next day, or week?
Now, a nice little Dick Clark tribute... watching him from American Bandstand all the way through the Pyramid game show.  Very nicely done.

Fast Forward through LMFAO


Fast Forward through Commercial Break

And now, Phillip2... The Saved Jessica Sanchez... and Colton Dixon are up.  Jimmy says that The Saved Jessica Sanchez are singing songs too old for her, which is why audiences aren't connecting.   He says that P2 and Colton Dixon came out opposite last night... Phillip2 was strong, while Colton Dixon's "Bad Romance" was completely wrong.

Dim the lights, here we go!  After the nationwide vote... Seacrusty tells The Saved Jessica Sanchez that she is, in fact, saved again.  This leaves Phillip2 and Colton Dixon... the one in headed to The Silver Stools of Suck is Colton Dixon.

Seacrusty then pulls My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone to the side, and fakes her out, but then sends her to the Couch of Comfort. Oh Seacrusty, you faker!

Fast Forward through Commercial Break

Dim the lights, here we go!  After the nationwide vote, America has decided that the Idol journey is over for Colton Dixon. 

In the last two minutes, The Lovely Steph Leann has said the word "suck" or a derivative of the word "suck" about 83 times. 

Boo. 

Boo.

Double boo.

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