Tuesday, October 21, 2014

i have seen the future, lil d$

I opened up the blog page as normal, then clicked on "new post", then sat back for a second. See, I've written for 21 straight days. The ideas are there... but they are longer ideas, and I don't want to write something that will be overlooked by afternoon tomorrow.

And then my friend Debra Hennessy put a simple post on Facebook, one that said:

If you could go back in time and say something to yourself in middle school, what would you say?

So then, I managed to reply in a quick comment... and realized that this is my blog post for the evening. 

So, allow me to give you the ten things that 39 Year Old d$ would tell Lil d$ in 1988, right between 7th and 8th grade..

1. "Lil d$... I know you have a crush on (name withheld). It's fine. You probably won't have this same crush in a few weeks, but you should stop now. I've seen the future, and she's not a very pleasant person. You can stop wasting your time now.

2. "Lil d$... you are actually going to marry someone who is in a grade below you right now, who is living in Jasper at this very moment. Wait, maybe it's somewhere in Mississippi. I've seen the future, and you'll do just fine."

3. "Lil d$... be nicer to those kids over there. You are poking fun now really just to make some others laugh. Not cool. They are going to be somebody. You'll want them in your corner."

4. "Lil d$... survive French Class. It sucks. You'll never need it. You might get a laugh out of a word here or there in a Sonic commercial that you'll see when... Sonic? It's a fast food place that... that's not important. My point is, I've seen the future, and you won't need French."

5. "Lil d$... conversely, find somewhere to learn Spanish. Right now. Go to a class, take a correspondence course, do whatever you need to do, but learn it. I've seen the future, it will come in handy bigtime."

6. "Lil d$... join the band now. You'll join in a year or two, but don't wait. You'll find out some of the best times you had in high school were being part of the marching band, so don't wait. I've seen the future, and you'll wish you played saxophone longer."

7. "Lil d$... you'll be getting your first job in a year or two. Sure, you'll blow some of your earnings, and that's fine. But save some. Give 10%, save 10%, and do what you will with the rest. And if you even think of opening up a credit card when you get to college, I don't care what Rebecca Miller says, I will come back here and punch me in the face. I've seen the future, and credit cards own you for a decade."

8. "Lil d$... I know you write now. You like to write. And that's cool. But don't stop in college. Keep writing. Keep doing it. And when it comes about 1995, when you get on AOL for the first time, you'll want to open up a Blog Site. B-L-O-G... yeah, rhymes with LOG. Blog. You'll know it. I have seen the future, and you'll want to start this early."

9. "Lil d$... Mom and Dad. They love you. So very much. A lot will happen between now and when they pass. Cherish the time you have. Even when it gets tough to cherish... cherish it. I've seen the future, and don't lose time."

10. "Read more. Get copies of 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' and 'The Great Gatsby' and 'Pride & Prejudice' and 'Wuthering Heights' and others, and read them. Love Samson High, but they aren't the most pressing when it comes to the classics... I have seen the future, and you'll wish you had read them already."

And here's a bonus, Lil d$...

"You need to write a story. I'll give you an idea... okay, a boy named Harry Potter. Yes, just like the main character from that movie Troll. But this Harry is a wizard. He goes to a school called... write this down... Hogwarts. HOG-W-A-R-T-S... and he has these two friends, named Ron and Hermione. Yes, 'Her-My-Ah-Nee'. Trust me. Oh, and when you are taking a break from writing, here's a business you need to start.. open up a teddy bear store where families come to YOU and pay YOU to make their own toys. Build A Bear. I have seen the future, and this is a good idea."

Oh yeah, one more thing...

"Lil d$... it doesn't matter. I know it seems like your world is ending when so and so said this, and so and so didn't do that... but I've seen the future. And It.Doesnt.Matter..."

What would you tell Lil You?


  1. That's good stuff right there!
    I did something simular a few years ago when Back to the Future had it's 25th anniversary.
    Now just to get my kids to know -I've seen the future and it's going to be ok!

  2. Aside from the empty promise of those hoverboards... hm... thanks for reading!


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