Sunday, May 06, 2012

river deep, idol high

You know, its difficult to "not" find out things when its three days from the event itself... so, once again, I roll into a Sunday viewing of this past week's American Idol with the full knowledge of who got booted on Thursday's results show.  And really, I didn't mind so much.  When my Hot Manager Melanie asked me about Idol, saying "everytime I like someone, they get kicked off!" I mentioned I had not see the results show.  She paused, asked me if I wanted to know, and knowing that she was dying to discuss what happened, I said, "Sure."  And she told me. 

Such is a busy life with the inability to watch shows on any other method aside from DVR.  

THIS IS

AMERICAN IDOL

The top five stroll out--Joshua Ledet, Phillip2, Little Skylar Laine, J-Sanch and Hollie Cav.  Seacrusty reminds us that one of these people will be declared the "American Idol" in a few weeks.  Not sure how I feel about this, honestly.

Tonight's themes are "1960s" for the first hour, and "British Pop" for the second hour.  This show truly has reached a fever pitch.  Right, Seacrusty?  Right.  Jimmy Iovine, suspiciously absent from recent shows, is back doing his mentor thing, this time with Steven Van Zandt in tow.  

And first up, is Hollie Cav, and she's busting up with "River Deep Mountain High", which was owned, operated and made famous awesome by the 60s Tina Turner, who was like Pre-Crack Whitney and Pre-Skank Mariah rolled into one.  Hollie Cav rolls up to the stage, belting it out, followed by either an entourage or a posse, I'm not sure which, of backup dancers.   Her earrings are so long and dangly, if she bends her head 7 inches forward, she'll trip on the hoops. 

I'm guessing that even though they didn't have Photoshop back then, the
cover artists found a way to take out Tina's black eyes and cheek bruises.
Did I love it, my oh my?  River deep, mountain high?  Abso-dadgum-loot-lee.  Hollie Cav just gave the best performance of her entire career right there. 

Crazy Uncle Steven loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg teased it like he didnt love it, but he in turn loved it. 

Phillip2's first turn up to bat takes on "The Letter" by The Box Top, its that song that starts, "Gimme a ticket for an air-oh-plane...", and it looks like P2 is doing a completely different take on the song.  Its always hard for me to decide how I feel when the song is totally changed, as I like "The Letter", so do I not like his version, but admit he did it well, or do I just dislike the whole thing?

Hmm.

I think I just dislike the whole thing.   Two points for effort, three points taken away for his performance and for scrapping the entire melody.   Randy the Dawg said he loved it in a sort of jam bandy Phillip Phillip sort of way.  J-Lo said that P2 lacked melody.   Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler admitted he missed the melody, but that P2 can get away with such things. 

Doing another party song, Little Skylar Laine has decided to take on Creedence Clearwater's "Fortunate Son"... yes, I know its Creedence Clearwater Revival, but she left off the "revival" when she spoke of them. 

Turning the southern rock anthem into a country song is hard, and Little Skylar Laine seemed completely out of place on this song... while it was done well, it was boring.  And that's hard to say when discussing this chick.  The judges loved it, though.

DUET TO IT!!!
For some reason, in the board meeting of this week's Idol run-down, someone thought it would be a good idea to have "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" covered by Joshua Ledet and Phillip2.  And this is pretty terrible.

The Lovely Steph Leann is asleep.  Campbell is asleep.  I am drifting.  This is awful.  Even Creepy Uncle Steven has to ramble on for a few minutes to try and convince us this was good.  It didn't work. 

Now, its Jessica Sanchez, who is also going to be attempting some early Tina Turner, this time with Ike.  Can't beat that.  Well, Ike can, but still...

She'll be doing "Proud Mary", make famous awesome by Tina, then covered later by the aforementioned CCR.   And like Tina, she starts slow, then after the "rolling, rolling on the river..." she jumps headfirst into the meat of the song.   She's also attempting to have somewhat of a personality onstage, and I'm afraid its failing miserably. 

Great voice.  She's boring.  J-Lo raves, even having the gumption to tell J-Sanch that she's filling a gap left by Elise Testosterone, and then says, "And you know what a big Elise fan I am"... what?  When?   Creepy Uncle Steven loves it.  And Randy the Dawg, surprisingly, says, "It was just okay for me." 

The effects of late nights with a five month old are taking its toll.  I closed my eyes, and opened them and realized we were at commercial...

Joshua Ledet is doing "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" by The Temptations... and The Lovely Steph Leann awakens on the words "I know you wanna leave me!!!"

Like J-Sanch's, its a good performance, though nothing remarkable, but at least J-Led is showing some flair and charm onstage, even through the wailing. 

The judges loved it, with Creepy Uncle Steven also digging the background singer chicks.  J-Lo raves, and then Randy the Dawg mentions a resemblance between Joshua Ledet and Terence Trent D'Arby... and the latter had a solid career.  In 1988. 

ROUND TWO... BRIT POP HITS

So, like she kicked off Round One, Hollie Cav is coming back to kick off Round Two!

And instead of the huge production this song might call for, Hollie is doing the reverse of her first song... this time, she sits atop a piano and begins.  I love this, even with the jump rope she has around her neck for a necklace.

Me: I really like this.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Me too. (watching close up of Hollie Cav's hands) Wow. They should have re-done her nails.  Her polish is all chipped off.  That's terrible.  The song was good, though.

Creepy Uncle Steven says he loved it, but that he didn't know "Bleeding Love".  Whatthewhat?  This song was played on the airwaves about 73 times per two hour block in every R&B, pop, Hot 40 and AC radio in the world... how can you not have heard this song? 

Randy the Dawg says he loved it. 

Phillip2's "Brit Song" is one that he could have done in the previous round, The Zombies' "Time of the Season".  Great song... one of my first "favorite" 60s songs. 

His version of this classic is just... well, its missing something.  The piano?  The tune?  The fun?   Though we both agree...
One thing that no one told me before we did this whole baby thing was
exactly how expensive this whole thing would be.  I mean, I knew it was
costly, but $30 for 25 drops?  That's a $1.20 per drop.  Whew.

(baby break... with the sudden realization that we were out of BioGaia probiotic AND almost out of the Hylands Colic Tablets, ie, baby crack, that sent me off to first Beaumont Pharmacy (closed), then to CVS (out of BioGaia) and then Wal-Greens, who had BioGaia but no tablets... essentially, I'm paying 5 to 6 bucks per day to make sure my kid can poop efficiently.  Is this good?)

...back, with Phillip2 finishing his song.  It was pretty good, but not great. 

DUET TO IT!!

Following the horrendous Joshua/P2 Righteous Brothers debacle, here is Little Skylar Laine, J-Sanch and Hollie Cav doing a trio of Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher (your love keeps lifting me)", which is truly one of my 100 favorite songs of all time.   And though it couldn't get much worse, the girls are doing alot better in their little song. 

Now, Little Skylar Laine's British song is another she could have done in the first round, that being Dusty Springfield's "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me"... and during Jimmy Iovine and Steven Van Zandt's mentoring session, I swear it looks like Little Skylar Laine is wearing a t-shirt featuring the cast of Young Guns. 

And unlike her first song, "Fortunate Son", which was good but not remarkable, this one is much better... I like it when Little Skylar Laine takes a song and makes it "country-fied", meaning that she sings it in just such a way that you can imagine the remake on a country station... I didn't hear "Fortunate Son" on WZZK, but I could totally see/hear the day when this version of "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" ends up on the country charts. 

J-Sanch's British song is Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful", leading The Lovely Steph Leann, now fully awake, to pipe up, "Joe Cocker is British?"  Guess so...

You know, I've been down on Jessica Sanchez for having no sense of personality, or really having any charisma onstage, but this time, she chose a song that doesn't require her to have any of that... this is slow, melodic and quite frankly, she's doing awesome.  The best way to describe this performance is that its very, very pretty.  Good job, J-Sanch.

The judges gush accordingly.

And for the finale, its Joshua Ledet.  He tells Jimmy Iovine and Steven Van Zandt that he wants to do a Tom Jones song for his British tune.  Jimmy tells him that's a bad idea, and suggests The Bee Gees "To Love Somebody".   Joshua says he'd never heard of it, then leaves.  He comes back 15 minutes later, and after he performs it for them, they both go crazy, telling him its one of the best things they'd ever heard.

And it is.  Well, the first half.  It starts off amazingly, and I'm really impressed... then, somewhere around the halfway point, it slips into the typical Joshua wail and screech.  Yes, those wails and screeches might be in tune, but they are wails and screeches nonetheless. 

Randy the Dawg spend 28 minutes gushing about this song, and Joshua Ledet.  J-Lo spends another 16 gushing about the song, then 22 more minutes gushing about Joshua Ledet.  Creepy Uncle Steven thankfully only spends a good 12 minutes on it.  Thankfully.

On to the results!

Hollie Cav's "River Deep Mountian High"...  The First Half of Joshua Ledet's "To Love Somebody"... J-Sanch's "You Are So Beautiful"... Hollie Cav's "Bleeding Love"...  Little Skylar Laine's "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me"... The Second Half of Joshua Ledet's "To Love Somebody"... Little Skylar Laine's "Fortunate Son"... Phillip2's "Time of the Season"... Skylar/J-Sanch/Hollie's "Higher and Higher (your love keeps lifting me)"... J-Sanch's "Proud Mary"... Phillip2's "The Letter", or whatever that was...  Phillip "You've Lost That Loving Feeling"

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