Wednesday, May 23, 2012

idol wanna change nothing!!!

After months and months and months and months and weeks of waiting, this is it.  The 2nd to last episode of this glorious season of American Idol.  And truly, it has been glorious, as this has been one of the best seasons to date... granted, I would have liked it better to see Colton Dixon taking on My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone, but I can deal with Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips, and one of them being the winner this season.

Anyway, lets get this sucker a'going, shall we?








Yes, tonight is Wednesday night, and in real time, Idol would be into its hour and fifteen minute mark, probably on its 28th group song and 9th random celebrity performance by someone who ten seasons ago wouldn't be caught dead on this show, but now can't wait to peddle their new projects via the Idol stage...

But, The Lovely Steph Leann and I still have to watch The Performance Show... so let's get that going first... and thankfully, its an hour long, so we can be through it via DVR's magical Fast Forward, in about 45 minutes.

We see an opening video of both J-Sanch and P2 as they worry about their auditions, sharing the same dream and all that... and how they get their Golden Ticket, then off to Hollywood, then surviving Hollywood, then making it to the 11th American Idol Finals.

As the judges make their way down the steps to thunderous applause, The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Oh gosh... what is J-Lo wearing?  That's terrible..."

Here comes the Idols themselves, Phillip Phillips looking like he's late for class, just woke up and is racing to English across campus... while Jessica Sanchez, 16, looks like she's trying to dress older and sexier to get into The

First round is Simon Fuller's pick... good time to make an appearance, Simon Fuller.  And his choice for J-Sanch?  "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston, one of my top three or four favorite Pre-Crack Whitney songs ever... of course, its from "The Bodyguard", my 56th favorite film of all time... man, do I love me some Bodyguard.  And that ending?  Its so cheesy, but so good... Rachel is on the plane, Frank is watching from the tarmac and she is watching him watching her, and she makes the pilot stop the plane, and she races down the steps to Frank and they start madly kissing each other right on the runway and... love it. 

Oh, the song?  Good enough.

The judges will give their take at the end of the round.

For Phillip2, the song he's been assigned is Ben E. King's classic "Stand By Me".  Good movie.  No, seriously.  It came in what, 1986, and I remember watching it on HBO like, two years later. Back then, movies took at least a year or more to get on home video, and a good year or year and a half to premiere on pay cable channels.   Now?   "Safe House", which The Lovely Steph Leann and I watched at the theater in January just came out on DVD/Blu Ray.  And on Starz in Sports, I'm seeing "Moneyball" over and over, the same one we saw in theaters in September 2011. 

Anyway, I loved "Stand By Me".  Back when Wil Wheaton, Corey Feldman and River Phoenix had so much potential and promise... but if in 1988, you told me the most famous of those four, all these years later, would be Jerry O'Connell, I'd tell you you were nuts.  And now?  Not so nuts.

The song?  I didn't dig it.  A little drainy nasally for me. 

J-Lo rambles on about something or another I wasn't listening to, and Randy the Dawg says that J-Sanch won Round 1.  I agree.

Now, we are treated to some junk from Jason Derulo, the dude with the blingy neckbrace.  I tried to care about two seconds before I hit the --> button.

Here's Round Two, with the Idols Choice from This Season

And to liven up the stage, to make sure we know she's hip, current and modern, J-Sanch is singing... Celine Dion's late 90s soft ballad "The Prayer".  Wait... what?

Okay, so, I have a will-be-six-months-old baby in my life right now.  As does The Lovely Steph Leann.  We are exhausted all the freakin' time... we get five to six hours of sleep per night, but its always in two hour blocks.  I say this to point out that "The Prayer" is the wrong song to sing if you want us to fully engage in this performance.. we are both just as likely to fall asleep.  But since I'm doing a recap, I will try and stay awaZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


(that snorey cough sort of grunt, then a slight twitch)

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz... what... huh?

Oh, its over.  That song made me tired.

Now, its Phillip2's second song, singing "Movin' Out", from Billy Joel week.  I loved Billy Joel week, and I loved hearing the different renditions of the songs, and here's what I said about this version then:

We come back from Break, and its Phillip Phillips! Tommy Hilfiger tells Phillip2 that he needs some fashion help, and Phillip2 simply says, "Eh, I keep it simple."

The song he'll be doing is "Movin' Out (anthony's song)", another great tune that I know all the words too... my favorite line is "Sergeant O'Leary is walking the beat, at night he becomes the bartender... he works at Mr. Cacchatories' down on Sullivan Street, across from the medical center..." Diddy and Jimmy Iovine tells him to put down the guitar as he sings.

So, Phillip2, wearing grey, is singing the song while holding his guitar. He adds a rockabilly twist to the song, and I'm not sure I love it... I like it, I don't hate it... it was just... weird. A good weird, but weird nonethless.

Kinda feel the same way.  Better than "The Prayer".

Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler, who speaks for the first time 30+ minutes into this episode (!), says he liked it, but gave Round Two to J-Sanch... J-Lo gives it to P2... and Randy the Dawg calls it a dead heat.  I agree with Jennifer Lopez.  Did I say that? 

And finally, Round Three... Songs They'd Release If They Won

Remember, this is the part of Idol that gave us "Flying Without Wings" and "Inside Your Heaven" and of course, "This Is My Now"... so instead of singing the same song, both Idols are given a different song that they'd release...

Jessica Sanchez has "Change Nothing", which I can only assume is some sort of "inspirational, don't change anything about me" kind of song.

J-Sanch:  I don't wanna change nothing!!!!!
Me: Shouldn't that be... "I don't want to change anything?
The Lovely Steph Leann:  (pause)  Well... yeah
J-Sanch:  I don't wanna change nothing!!!!!
The Lovely Steph Leann:  This is a horrible song.  They are always bad, but this is horrible
J-Sanch:  I don't wanna change nothing!!!!!
The Lovely Steph Leann:  If Phillip Phillips has a better song, he can win this.  This song is terrible.
Randy the Dawg:  I didn't love the song...
The Lovely Steph Leann:  ...that's because the song sucked.

And she's right.  It sucked.  J-Lo didn't even like it.  Creepy Uncle Steven didn't like it.  And J-Sanch sells out the producers by saying that she wouldn't have picked that song.

To end the show, here's the song Phillip2 would release... a song called "Home".  Can they never find songs for the Idols to release that have any kind of quick beat to it?  Its always ballads! 

That being said... and in 11 years, this is the first time I've ever said this... I like this song.  I could totally hear this song on SiriusXM's Coffeehouse Channel, or even The Blend.  Plus, Phillip2 has the percussion section of a marching band on stage!

"Home" is the most original "gonna release" song I've ever heard.  That was really good.  Really, really good.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "That was the most original original song on Idol ever."

Round Three, by far and away, and for the entire night too, goes to Phillip Phillips.  And I think after that, he might just win this.  She was right.

Best to Worst...  "Home" by Phillip2... then, way after that, "I Have Nothing" by J-Sanch... lets be real--nothing else was that good.

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