Friday, March 02, 2012

The Idol Semi Finals: The Chicks

Note... when I say "Coming tomorrow...", consider that might mean "coming in a few days or so, due to the fact I have a three month old".  So there ya go.

Anyway, we saw the guys compete already... and now, its the chicks turn...  Chelsea Sorrell... EVP... Jen Hirsh... Brielle Von Hugel... Hallie Day... Skylar Laine... Bayley Brown!... Haley Johnson... Holly Cav... J-Sanch... Elise Testosterone... Twelve chicks, the five most popular will go into the Idols Top Ten, plus the judges Wild Card Picks.

By the way, we wanted to watch Idol last night, but after an anniversary dinner two days late, plus a movie (Denzel, who is always solid, in "Safe House"), we got in too late... so I've managed to avoid all media that might pertain to who won the Finals Spots on Idol on Thursdays results show, as did The Lovely Steph Leann.  So here we are.  And what is this?  Well, this...




The judges--Creepy Uncle Steven in a pimp hat... Randy "The Dawg" Jackson... and J-Lo come out to much fanfare and applause, followed closely by Ryan Seacrusty. 

Up first, its Chelsea Sorrell, who hails from a teeny tiny town in North Carolina... singing a Carrie Underwood power twang tune.  She kinda sounds like good karaoke.  And that's all.  Carrie Underwood?  More like Karaokewood!  See what I did there? I kill me.

The judges say that they thought the song choice should have been better.  They didn't love it.

Next up, its wedding singer/DJ Erika Van Pelt... I said, "Aw, EVP", and The Lovely Steph Leann looked at me funny, saying "Uh... executive vice president?"  "No!  Erika!" "Ah."

And she's going to try to do a very hard task... Heart.  "What About Love" is her song, and her outfit doesn't fool me... she's a disco legging away from being a Wilson sister.  Its not a bad song, but a little baritoney for my tastes.

The judges say they liked it, but she could have gone stronger.  They didn't love it.

(worth noting... I'm blogging for the first time from the new laptop... still figuring out the settings and such)

Jen Hirsh, who I think I kinda like.  Her family video shows her hometown in California, and her family's wine vinyard.  Wait... what?  Tonight, she'll be singing "One and Only" from Adele.  Poor Jen Hirsh--she looks like she took a bath in Fake Tan.  She reminds me of Ross Geller, who ended up in the fake tan booth in that episode of Friends way back in the day.  Or "Going the Distance", with Justin Long, a movie that like, nobody saw except for me and The Lovely Steph Leann.  Not a bad movie, though based solely on the premise of random sex leading to love, then a relationship, not the other way around. 

Oh, Jen Hirsh is pretty doggone good.

The judges say they liked the fact she let loose.  They did love it.

(worth noting... don't know if its the slow songs, or just the fact she's tired, but The Lovely Steph Leann keeps drifting off, while Camp sits comfortably, gazing at Randy the Dawg)

And speaking of Randy the Dawg, he admits to Seacrusty that the previous night's show had the judges being a little too lenient on some of the dudes.  Gee, ya think?  I wonder if he saw all the message boards and columns about how it was a love-fest.

Brielle Von Hugel, the 17 year old from Staten Island who has the obsessive, smothering mom, and we are lucky enough to have Mom Von Hugel here in the audience!  Yay.  Singing "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay", she sits surrounded by the Idol guys on the edge of the stage. 

I shook my head, and said, "I think this is terrible"
The Lovely Steph Leann, without looking at me, just deadpans, "Yep."

Creepy Uncle Steven says, "Bee-you-tee-ful!"  J-Lo says, "True performer."  Randy the Dawg says, "Yo!"

The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Campbell's pooping."
I reply, "Guess he didn't like her either."

And we are back, with Hallie Day, 24, from Baltimore, Maryland.  We like her--she was the one who was strung out and an addict, but her husband brought her back from the edge and saved her.  Saved her in every way a woman can be saved.

Doing one of my Top 50 favorite songs of all time, "Feelin' Good", originally done by the immortal Nina Simone, Hallie Day starts... and I like it already.  Love it, actually. 

Me: Holy crap, she's got perfect teeth
Her: Sure.  Probably capped.

Amazing what one song that you love done well will do for your thoughts on an Idol can make.  Did that sentence make any sense?  Well, I know what I mean.  Anyway, Hallie Day is my favorite of all performances--guys or chicks--so far in this semi-final round.  Loved it.

J-Lo loved it.  Creepy Uncle Steven loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it.

Speaking of poopy, Camp has finished.  Time to change.  Be back in mere moments.




aaaaand we're back.  Now that was some jacked up crap.  Wow.

Okay, so Idol chicks... five down, seven to go.  Now, its Skylar Laine, the most countrified country girl we have on this years show, and that's saying something as we have several country chicks this year.

Kicking it country style, Skylar throws down with some country ditty that I'm not familiar with, but one can only assume its called "Stay With Me", as she sings that line about 40 times.  She looks like she could be related closely to Amy Poehler. 

And, as expected, the judges loved it.  Randy the Dawg says, "its like Reba mixed with Kelly Clarkson!" and J-Lo chimes in "mixed with Tina Turner!" 

Finally, its one of my faves, Bayley Brown!  Now, Bayley Brown!, I've been rooting for you for a while, so don't let me down Bayley Brown!  That rhymed.  On purpose. 

Here's... sigh... here's "Amazed".  Seriously, Bayley Brown!, you have this once in a lifetime chance to show America what you can do, and you use this to sing "Amazed"?  This isn't good.  I'm wearing a frown, Bayley Brown!, though I do like that gown.

Now, when I rank Bayley Brown! at the end of this post, if I were being honest, I'd probably rank her fairly low.  But since I really dig Bayley Brown!, and I'm hoping that my ranking of her will influence the votes that happened two days ago, I'll probably rank her higher. 

The judges didn't love it.  Nor should they.  Sigh.

So now, it's Hollie Cav doing some Christina Aguilera.  I'm predicting that she'll sing "Reflection", which is a very teenage chick thing to do... But The Lovely Steph Leann is predicting "Beautiful", a song that she just deplores. 

"Reflection", from Disney's "Mulan", isn't one of my favorites, but its not bad.  And Hollie Cav is doing a fine job with it.   I guess her reflection is showing who she is inside.  But, I'm puzzled by the lack of lips on this chick's face.  Very, very thin lips.

And the judges just sop her up with a biscuit. 

So, here comes Haley Johnson, and it just occurred to me that we've got a Hallie, a Hollie and a Haley in this season.  Haley is a former barista, from Oregon.  She didn't work at Starbucks, though, so that's one strike, but she does seem like a nice lady.

"Sweet Dreams"?  Really?  The Eurythmics?  I hate this song, that being the original version.  And I'm not a fan of the cover version by Haley Johnson here.  I look over and The Lovely Steph Leann has a very pained look on her face.  "Its a weird song anyway, and I feel like she's took all the melody... she wasn't flat, but I kept feeling like she was going there, and I kept thinking 'oh, please stay on key, stay on key!'"  There ya go.

Personally, I feel like this was a terrible song for this audition... this is something you do in 80s week in Week Nine, after you have proven yourself in other songs.  Not something you do when you have ONE chance to make the finals. 

J-Lo loved it, and all the special things she did in her song.   Creepy Uncle Steven said he loved it.  And Randy the Dawg?  "Sort of like a nightmare, not a dream..." And while I agree with RtD, we both feel bad for her because she's the first person in the whole Semis to get a bad review... when many deserve the negative reviews, even more so than Haley Johnson.  Just sayin'.

Coming in at 6 foot tall or so, its 16 year old Shannon Magrane!  Holy crap!  She's singing "Go Light Your World" by Kathy Triccoli!?!?  That's AWESOME!!!  Back in 1995, Kathy T was the stuff in Contemporary Christian Music, and this song was used in countless drama to music human videos in various churchy type retreaty things.  I was in several in my years.  This song is all about carrying the light of Christ to those who are hopeless and lost. 

I love this chick.  She might be my new Bayley Brown! because after tonight, Bayley Brown! won't be around much longer. 

Randy the Dawg loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Creepy Uncle Steven used the term "my reality check bounced...", but he loved it. 

In the 11th spot, its Jessica Sanchez, a girl who's been dreaming of this chance since she was five years old... so it feels like she has been dreaming of this for about three or four years. 

Not sure if I like J-Sanch's song, but she sounds like she's got vocal chops to spare.  I'm not even sure of what song this is, but she just belted out something that will almost ensure her a spot in the Top 13, if not by votes, then by a Wild Card Pick. 

Randy the Dawg gives the, "Yo!  That girl can sing!" to J-Sanch.  J-Lo loved it.  Creepy Uncle Steven ogles her and gives her affection.

See, Bayley Brown! and Haley Johnson should take notes--THAT is the kind of performance you give to get into a Top 13. 

Finally... Elise Testosterone, 28, and lives in Charleston, South Carolina, and she will end our show tonight.  Sitting at the piano, apparently singing another Adele song, Elise kicks off the song with this raspy voice that I think I really, really like. 

Dude.  I dig this.  I dig this all around, and back again.  Rock on. 

And the judges love the whole thing. 

So rather than waxing poetic about the performances, let's just go straight to the Idol Top 13...

My best to worst... Hallie Day... Elise Testosterone... J-Sanch... Shannon Magrane... Hollie Cav... Bayley Brown! (where I wanted her to be)... Jen Hirsh... EVP... Skylar Laine... Bayley Brown! (where she probably should be)... Chelsea Sorrell... Haley Johnson... Brielle Von Hugel

My predictions for the Top Five... Elise Testosterone... J-Sanch... Hollie Cav... Jen Hirsh... Skylar Laine... Hallie Day... my picks for possible Wild Card:  Brielle Von Hugel... EVP... maybe Shannon Magrane... Unfortunately, no Bayley Brown! selection predicted.

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