The Semi Finals Begin: Guys Night

According to the stats that Seacrusty and Fox likes to toss up, there are less grains of sand on this world's beaches than people who auditioned this year.  There are fewer stars in the sky than the average amount of hopefuls who showed up to try and make it.  There are less screw-ups in ObamaCare than the number of people who tried out... well, there are a lot of screw-ups in ObamaCare... maybe the number might be equal.

Needless to say, right here on this here Coffee blog here we have chronicled, night by night, the auditions, who to watch for, who sounded good, who sounded great, who is overrated and who is underrated.  And, of course, Bayley Brown! came back.  We've whittled it down to only 24 people, 12 dudes and 12 chicks... and tonight, the dudes start the show...

THIS IS 

AMERICAN

IDOL GUYS NIGHT

Some weird announcer voice comes up, and invites us to welcome the judges... Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler... Jennifer Lo... and Randy Jackson, the Dawg... and here comes Ryan Seacrusty himself, telling us its The Big Time!

On Thursday, we find out who joins the Idol Finals, as the Top Five Guys and Top Five Chick vote getters will advance, and each judge gets a Wild Card Pick, rounding out a Top 13 Finals.

And remember, Seacrusty informed us that one of the previously cut dudes was coming back--Big Jermaine.. Jerkweed Cowboy... Lil Pimp... or Johnny Keyser will come back tonight, through some magic of "we are Fox and we'll do it how we want to..."  And who is that?  We'll find out later...

The Idol dudes could pick any song they want (though I'm sure it had to be approved due to rights), and tonight, Reed Grimm gets the pole position, going first.  Singing "Moves Like Jagger," Reed kicks off the semi-final round.  His version is very bluesy, and he does a bit on a small drum set on stage.  And he flails so much, his mic pops off at the end.

Randy the Dawg thought it was a great kick-off to the show, as did J-Lo, and Creepy Uncle Steven loved his little fancy footwork shuffley thing.

In the 2nd spot, here comes 27 year old, Pittsburgh native White Chocolate!  And strangely enough, he goes right after the "didn't expect you to sing that song" vote, as he takes on Aretha's "Think".  Though he might have a large black woman trapped in his body, sorta like Tyler Perry, to me, its just not coming out tonight.  This is kind of a boring performance.  Sad.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

And now is a guy that we saw very little of until like, last week.  That's right, its D'Kenny G.  Sorry, this kid just bores me.  Not interested.  Campbell is crying a bit in the background of the room, and his swingy chair is playing some music... I'm only guessing it is enhancing D'Kenny G's song.  He's got some chops, but I'm just not impressed.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Now, here comes one of the guys that The Lovely Steph Leann is rooting for... Colton Dixon.  The dude who's sister auditioned, had the judges coerce him into auditioning (again) and he ends up making it, after his sister gets cut.  Singing some Paramore, he sits at a piano... and in addition to The Lovely Steph Leann, I genuinely like this guy.

However the judges feel, they loved it.

And now, Jeremy Risotto is doing some Sara Bareillis, the song being "Gravity".  I'm a little torn, as I don't know that I would have picked this song, but I'd feel bad if Jeremy messed up one that I really like, like "Love Song", probably my favorite song of the last ten years.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Good to get some color in here!  And now its Aaron Marcellus Wallace!  He's a regular dude with a big dream, because this means everything to him.  He's singing The Jackson 5's "Never Can Say Goodbye", and he's got an advantage over most of the other guys, being black and all.  Personally, out of five auditions that were just pretty good, this one feels like my favorite thusfar.

However the judges feel, differently.  They loved it.

This season's country crooner, as Seacrusty called him, is Chase Likens... singing "Storm Warning", he's got a voice made for country radio, flat out.  And the name, "Chase Likens", sounds like a country name.  He's not blowing me away, but I can see him being successful at some point.

However the judges feel, they loved it.

The stage now belongs to The Welfare Justin Timberlake, aka, Creighton Fraker.  He wins the award for Most Likely To Come Out During the Run of Idol This Season... and Welfare Timberlake is keeping the ballad trend going by doing one of my least favorite Cyndi Lauper song, "True Colors".   And it kinda put me to sleep. No joke, I just nodded off three times.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Phillip Phillips, the pawn shop worker, has joined us now.  Phillip2 is doing Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight", and I dig it.  Its dirty, its raw, its bluesy and I can dig it.  Best so far tonight, I thought.

However, the judges... sensing a pattern here?

The little girls go crazy as Eben Beiber is up next!  He sat next to Lil Pimp and was chosen over said Lil Pimp on the last Hollywood show.  Eben Beiber is doing "Set Fire to the Rain" from Adele.  Can you imagine how a 15 year old would sing a grown up song like "Set Fire to the Rain"?  That's how Eben Beiber is doing right now.  But I'm guessing he'll make it through, due to the legions of little girls who will follow him incessantly.  Eh, it was okay.  Seems like he's taking it just one step at a time.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

I think the producers are split on Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) because on one hand, he's funny, and fun, and cutie patootie and you never know what he'll say and talented and on and one... but on the other hand, do they want THIS GUY to be their American Idol?   Seriously?   So, Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) is doing "Angels", as she shows off his sensitive side.  Good vocals, but I'm bored, again.

The judges felt like it might be the wrong song.

However, the judges loved it.

And the Pimp Spot, the final spot of the night, here's Joshua Lidet doing some Jennifer Hudson, as in, "Pull Me Through."  Geez!  I'm freakin' bored!  I mean, great voice, sounds good, but the song is a ballady type song, crossed with an inspiration song, and it equals I'm sleepy.

However, the judges feel differently.  They loved it.

Just like they loved every other song sung tonight.  Every.  Single.  Tune.  Could we get Simon to just phone in for a few minutes?

And finally... who comes back?  Well, its not other than Big Jermaine... which makes me very, very happy.  I love this dude.  He's doing Luther's ballad "Dance with My Father", and its not perfect, but I want this guy to go on to the next round.

Of course, the judges loved it.

My favorites of the night... Phillip2... Aaron Marcellus Wallace... Colton Dixon... Joshua Lidet... Big Jermaine... Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)... Reed Grimm... Chase Likens.... White Chocolate...Eben Beiber... Jeremy Risotto... The Welfare Justin Timerlake... D'Kenny G


My predictions on who will advance:  Phillip2... Colton Dixon... Joshua Lidet... Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)... Reed Grimm.  Possible wild card selections might be Big Jermaine... The Welfare Justin Timberlake... D'Kenny G.  

TOMORROW NIGHT... THE CHICKS TAKE OVER