It's late game, the results are actually going on right now, and as I type this, its 724p on Thursday, and I would imagine that at least one Idol has been kicked off the show. But I don't know who. I won't know who... until later tonight... because, by virtue of DVR...
THIS IS AMERICAN
Last night, the dudes were onstage, tonight its the chicks... they were supposed to be on last night, but for some unknown reason, Crystal Bowersox was taken to the hospital and told by her doctors to not perform for a night... so, with Idol being the kind, generous folks they are, plus the fact that C'Bosox is one of their early-on favorites, they switched nights (c'mon... do you really think if it had been Ashley Rodriguez who got sick that they would have flipped things around? Exactly)
So, for tonight, we are going to squeeze in Idol, plus the results show, plus Survivor, and, oh yeah, I have to pack, because while its 7:33p right now (The Lovely Steph Leann, who has already seen both performance shows, had just come in for something... want to mention that in case you think "wow, 9 minutes to type a single paragraph?"), in about 8 hours, I'll be starting up the car to head to Lake Buena Vista, Florida.
C'Bosox is up first, and her video tells us all about having a twin brother. I'm assuming he's not identical. And am I the only one who thinks she has weird teeth? I mean, we jumped all over Elliott Yah-mean a few seasons ago for this jacked up grill, but are we afraid to admit that C'Bosox has got some funky dental issues? Just sayin'.
She's doing some CCR, and while last week, she sounded like a good cover artist on Alanis, this week she sounds like a good cover artist on CCR. I thought it was kinda bluesy, I thought it was cool... Crystal Bowersox did a cool, cool performance. Rock on. Randy the Dawg, Ellen DeG, Kara the New Hotness and Simon the Cowell all loved it.
Haeley Vaughn... she's going to be singing Miley Cyrus. One can only hope she doesn't take on "Party in the USA". No, no, its "The Climb". Okay, so is it racist to make fun of the way she looks, just because she's black? I made fun of C'Bosox, so screw it... I'm not entirely convinced her lips actually come together. Like, they flashed to her and her mouth was closed, but that may have been digitally enhanced, or she just worked really hard to get it done. And a few seconds later, they snapped back open.
Didn't like the song when it came out, didn't like it when I heard it every hour, 8 hours a day, five to six days per week, for six months. Didn't like it when the movie came out and Miley sang it (though Billy Ray Cyrus doing that finger-point thing was the highlight and almost worth a viewing... almost). And I don't like the song now, especially when Haeley Vaughn is singing it. The Lovely Steph Leann walked in, heard part of it, and said, "Wow, its worse than it was last night..."
By the way, you know you are old when Billy Ray Cyrus is no longer Billy "Achy Breaky" Ray Cyrus, he's just Miley's dad.
I think that I view Lacey Brown kinda like Democrats view He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected... so young, so brilliant, so full of promise, so much potential. And epic, epic fail. I mean big fail. Falling on your face fail. At least Lacey is kinda cute.
Tonight, after Kara the New Hotness' recommendation, she's taking on "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer. Man, I loved me some Sixpence back in the day. And right from the first note, I can tell you that Lacey is NOT Leigh Nash. By the way, Leigh Nash's first album ranked as the 30th cool thing of 2006... and its even better years later.
And the song is over, which is what I was stalling for. It wasn't very good. It just wasn't. I wanted it to be, I wanted to be all about some Lacey Brown... Randy the Dawg agreed with me, Ellen DeG liked the song, Kara the New Hotness liked the first half of the song, and Simon the Cowell says it was better than last week, marginally.
Unlike He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected, I want to give Lacey Brown one more chance. Lacey, I'm in your corner. And if not, we can vote you out. Just like He Who Must Not Re-Elected. Yes we can!
Here comes Katie Stevens, perhaps the most boring Idol name since John Stevens. And her video shows that... well, she's annoying, but it also shows that she's 17 years old. She's doing Corinne Bailey Rae, "Put Your Records On". She might be kind of annoying, but she's a fun annoying.
The song is not bad. I mean, its not Corinne Bailey Rae, who is pretty darn good, but for a white girl, its a decent version. Randy the Dawg says, "Yo, so yo, man, dawg, yo, so yo, work it out, yo, man you worked it out, yo dawg" or something to that effect. Re: he liked it. Ellen DeG says she has a great voice but wanted more. Kara the New Hotness tells her she's frustrated, wanting even more from Katie. Simon the Cowell is also frustrated.
Now, its Didi Benami, who kinda has a My Former Next American Idol Brooke White look about her. That's a good thing, because I thought My Former Next American Idol Brooke White was a cutie-patootie. (Did I just say "cutie-patootie"? I'm channeling my inner America's Former Favorite Lesbian Rosie O'Donnell...).
"Lean on Me" by Bill Withers, and I have a feeling this isn't going to go well. It never does with this song unless your name is actually Bill Withers, or maybe dcTalk, from the "Free at Last" album, which rocks.
She's hitting the high, loud notes, and sounds okay, but really, I liked Ingrid Michaelsen's "The Way I Am" much better last week. Randy the Dawg didn't like the song choice either. Ellen DeG loves her voice, and her smile and her energy, but didn't like the song. Kara the New Hotness just flat out says, "Didi... it wasn't good. It just wasn't good." Slap up by KTNH... wow. Simon the Cowell says it was all over the place, screechy and a bad song...
Seacrest comes up to tell her numbers, and Didi keeps smiling... though she's holding her tears back through force, you can tell. The Lovely Steph Leann actually just went on a rant... "What did you think? I thought it was pretty good! I mean, they trashed her! Like, she was in key, she knew the words, she made it good... I don't get it. I mean, she wasn't brilliant or anything, but she was a whole lot better than Haeley Vaughn!" She throws her arms in disgust, "What do they want?!" and goes into the kitchen. That was kind of fun.
Michelle My Belle is doing... Creed? CREED? Holy crap! Creed? Creed? Like, Scott Stapp? "With Arms Wide Open"? This is either going to be awesome or a total piece of crap... seldom has The McGriddle Effect had potential on an Idol's performance. This is historic.
Personally, I thought the original was atrocious, and the video was even worse, with Stapp standing on this Irish bluff, singing with... well, arms wide open. That means that a crying bucket of puppies would sound better than the original, and luckily for me, Michelle My Belle is making the song good. Great. That was just great. The best looking Idol of the season has done the best job of the night...
Randy the Dawg didn't like it, saying "I thought you'd do more with it", making The Wrong Jermaine want to poke sticks in his eyes thinking of what he could have done with it. Ellen DeG liked the song. Kara the New Hotness loved it. Yeah, Kara the New Hotness! She even says "You almost made the song unrecognizable, which was so cool..." Poor Jermaine Sellers. Simon the Cowell agrees with Kara the New Hotness, even saying "We do give a lot of contradictory advice..."
Lillyscott comes up next, doing Sam Cooke's "A Change is Gonna Come", another very, very risky tune. She's wearing a shirt that reminds me of a purse that Lil Sister Ashley would use. As she sings, she almost does the John Mayer "I'm gonna french the mic" singing style, and though the song is extremely hard to do, she's doing it proper justice.
Despite my own proclivities, I like Lillyscott. Can't help it. Randy the Dawg loved it. Ellen DeG says she has "it". Kara the New Hotness says she had a "moment". Simon the Cowell says it was good.
Katelyn Epperly heard me discussing last week my fondness for Michelle My Belle, and it looks like she's dressed up to compete. K-Ep looks... well, let's be honest, hot. That dot in her forehead is kinda weird, but still. She's singing Coldplay. Coldplay?
Okay, fine, Coldplay. Its "The Scientist" on... piano. Piano?
Well, here she is... and she is awesome. Like, seriously awesome. And finally, finally, we have our first nomination for My Next American Idol. Listen, looks have nothing to do with it... last year, My Former Next American Idol was Allison Iraheta, so looks really, really have nothing to do with it... but K-Ep just did a fantastic performance. She was awesome... sounded great.
Randy liked it. Ellen DeG says she kinda got sleepy. Kara the New Hotness says she kinda loves her. And even winks. Simon the Cowell says it was a smart choice of song, but must be cautious to not be corny. Personally, my favorite song of the night.
Paige Miles is kinda like John Park... I have no problem with them. But they haven't won me over at all. But I'm willing to give her a chance. So, Paige, impress me.
Tonight she's singing "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson. Okay, Paige, impress me.
And you know what? She did. That was great. Oh, don't get me wrong, Paige is going to have to go a long way to even think about being d$'s Next American Idol, but its a start.
Randy the Dawg didn't love it, but liked it alot. Ellen the Lesbian loved it. Kara the New Hotness, who actually wrote the song, says that the song was written angry, so she should have played into that. Simon the Cowell liked it, but is afraid she didn't choose the right song.
And finally, Siobhan Magnus. Amarylis by Morning (up from San Antone) loved this chick last week, even borderline chiding me for not loving her as much. This week, she--that being Siobhan, though I'm sure Amarylis by Morning (up from San Antone) could do it just as well--is doing Aretha's "Think".
The song is such a black diva song that its just weird when I see a skinny white girl do it. It almost loses something. And here, it feels like it loses something. Well, it did until she hit that note at the end and the rafters almost came down... that was a heckuva note, in a good way.
Randy the Dawg says she picked the "dopest, coolest song" and then says, "it was dope!". Ellen DeG just made a Snuggie joke, which made me laugh at her jokes for the first time this year. Kara the New Hotness says she can't get over that note. Simon the Cowell says there were parts of the note that were terrible, but that last note was incredible.
Here's how it breaks down for me tonight... Katelyn Epperly... Michelle My Belle... C'Bosox... Siobhan Magnus... Paige Miles... Lillyscott... Didi Benami... Katie Stevens... Lacey Brown... Haeley Vaughn
So, if I'm picking the Chick Six right now, I'm easily taking K-Ep, Michelle My Bell, C'Bosox and Lillyscott. I'm probably taking Didi Benami, and though its a toss up between Siobhan and Paige, I'm going Siobhan tonight, if only to not get chided by Amarylis by Morning (up from San Antone).