Friday, February 24, 2012

There's Only 24 Idols in a Day

So here we are, the final night of the Idol preliminary rounds.   We jumped ahead a second or two to find out that White Chocolate had made the cut...

In addition to the just added White Chocolate, we've Jen Hirsh... The Welfare Justin Timberlake... Joshua Lidet... Haley Johnson... Elise Testosterone... Reed Grimm... EVP... Chelsea Somethingorother... Bayley Brown!... Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)... Phillip2... Jessica Sanchez... Colton Dixon... and Brielle Von Hugel...

Now, let's fill those other 9 spots.  Again, here's the bullet points...

First up, here's Jeremy Rosado... he's been hanging out with Young Pimp David Leathers... Eben Beiber... and Ariel Spray (?)... and his final performance brought us a smooth version of something I have no clue what it is.  We notice his tongue is yellow.  I speculate it from the smokes.  The Lovely Steph Leann thinks it might be from a lozenge.

J-Lo brags on him and says, "There's no way we don't want you in the Top 24 this year."  Sort of a double negative, but her smile says he makes it.

Eight Spots Remain.

Shannon Magrane, 16, the object of Creepy Uncle Steven's "hot and happening" remark from way back a few weeks ago.  She sings "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" and sings it quite well as her solo song.  And Shannon Magrane makes it.

Seven Spots Remain.

Scott Dangerfield, one of those guys we've seen very little of this entire season, is up next. They show his solo performance as a hip, cool rendition of "Folsom Prison Blues", though his little clip was very brief, making me think they didn't spend much time on him for a reason.  As in, he won't matter after this episode.  As in, he won't make it past this spot.  As in, I was right.  He's gone.

Said earlier this episode by me... "I'll be Eben Beiber and Young Pimp David Leathers face off at the end with one spot left, for dramatic effect..." and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh no way!  That would be horrible!"  Just now, as a clip of Eben and Pimp (sounds like the world's worst law firm) sitting together as Seacrusty says, "Our two youngest contestants face off for one spot remaining..."  Told ya.

Now, its Skylar Laine, a country chick who did "Fancy" on solo performance sing-for-your-life-day.   Of course, I hate that song, so I'm not a good judge of how she did.  Either way, SkyLaine makes it.

Six Spots Remain

Hallie Day makes it.  Chase Likens makes it.  Aaron Marcellus Wallace makes it.  Its like Idol decided to get through this quickly.

One chick spot remains.  Two guy spots remain.  

Last year, Deandre Kenny G made it all the way to the Final Judgement round.  This year, Deandre Kenny G has made it again to the Final Judgment round.  He sounds alot like the 90s R&B star D'Angelo that was in that video naked.  Just sayin'.   Anyway, this year, Deandre Kenny G takes another spot.

One chick spot, one guy spot left.

We see Jermiane Jones now, but this is anti-climactic, because we know this final spot will go to either Lil Pimp or Eben Beiber, so now its just to hear how they let him down.  We see the video of his solo performance, of which I could not pay attention to as I was staring at his hideous vest.  If Randy the Dawg says, "Dude, that vest was terrible", I'd understand it.  And we see a clip of him finally breaking down in the waiting room, barely able to handle the pressure.  Vest notwithstanding, Randy the Dawg gives him the bad news.

One chick spot, one guy spot left.

Shelby Twitter... Aerosol Spray... Hollie Cavanagh... three young chicks left, all making the walk to their final judgement, all to see which one will advance, and which two will go home.   The winner is Hollie, while Shelby and Aerosol go home with nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Losers.

All chick spots filled.  One guy spot left.

Back to The Final Judgement.  Two guys left.  Eben Beiber... Lil' Pimp... two young dudes, one final spot.  This is it.  Frankly, I'm surprised that Hey Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) wasn't saved for last, because Idol kept doing that to him, but here we are.

In the final solo performance, Lil Pimp did some old school Michael Jackson, while Eben Beiber went with an alto Joe Cocker... they both want this more than anything.  This means everything.  This is all they want to do.

And the results?  Lil Pimp doesn't make it... Eben Beiber does.  Hugs all around, and I think Eben Beiber has the tears, and not Lil Pimp. The Lovely Steph Leann groans and makes, for the 927th time this episode, a comment about how hard this is, and how tough this must be, and sounds like "wow" and "humph..."

Seacrusty has been telling us that there was some news to hear, something that will shake up the whole thing... apparently, the judges felt that there was a need to reinstate one of the guys to make a Top 13.  Either Johnny Keyser, Jermaine Jones, Jerkweek Cowboy or Lil Pimp will be joining the show.  We'll find out who, live on Tuesday!

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