And They Called the Idol Mariah

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Tonight is Mariah Carey night. First, let me set the record straight... I really, really like Mariah Carey. I don't love Mariah Carey like I used to... back in the day, when she first came out, especially with "Music Box" and "Daydream" and her self-titled debut, she was awesome... I loved Mariah then.

And then, for some reason, she decided that every song needed to have a (c)rap artist behind it. So instead of "Heartbreaker", we got "Heartbreaker (ft. Jay-Z)". Instead of "Loverboy", we get "Loverboy (ft Da Brat, Ludacris, Twenty II and Shawnna)". I didn't make those up, by the way.

Pre-skank Mariah... incredible. Post-skank Mariah... just okay.

Tonight's crew is KT, The Lovely Steph Leann, Britlicious and myself... earlier, The Lovely Steph Leann had over about eight other women for a Chick-Fellowship. I came downstairs to all the lovely ladies in the house, and remarked, "This reminds me of college".

The Not Quite As Lovely Yet Lovely Still Steph Halpert asked, "Ladies man?", to which I said, "No, not really. Just like now, they were all unattainable."

By the way, Mariah Carey got her name from the musical "Paint Your Wagon", the song called "They Called the Wind Mariah". This is why you keep reading--random crap just like this.

This.

Is American Idol.

Ryan lets you know that you need to vote, lest we see a repeat of last week, where Aussie Michael went and KLC and The Black Julia Stiles stayed.

My favorite Mariah songs? (10) "Someday", (9) "I Don't Wanna Cry", (8) "Without You", (7) "Heartbreaker", (6) "If It's Over", (5) "All I Want For Christmas", (4) "Always Be My Baby", (3) "Vision of Love", (2) "Fantasy" and finally, my favorite Mariah Carey song:



David Archuleta
So I predicted it... I said just a minute or two ago, Young David would sing something inspirational, because let's face it, this is all he can do. Be honest with yourself--he's got a great voice, but really, unless its "lift you up" kind of junk, he's not doing so hot.

Tonight, he's singing "If You Believe", the song from "Prince of Egypt", sung by both Mariah and Whitney Houston. This might be the first time ever that a guy--or a girl for that matter--has taken on both Mariah and Whitney at the same time. Toss in "My Heart Will Go On" and his head might explode. Or mine.

Britlicious dares to say that My Next American Idol Brooke White is just like this. Scandalous.

Randy loves him some Young David. Paula gives her sunshine a large push towards Young David. Simon actually says, "I would have bet you would have chosen that song." He liked it well enough.

Carly Smithson
The big deal tonight is that all the chicks will be compared to Mariah's version of the songs... the guys will get away with it if they just sing it decently enough.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I have a quick exchange about Young David's future, and she says that he might have a great Michael Buble-like career. I reply, "It might be kind of weird, though, to put on an Archuleta record to get in the mood, like a couple would do with Buble. Unless your Michael Jackson, that is."

Irish Carly is singing my 8th favorite Mariah Carey song, "Without You", originated by Harry Nilsson (though Mariah's is better).

KT comments on the cleavage that Irish Carly is busting out, looking like backwards paranthesis really. She has her tats covered, and for the first time, I'm digging me some Irish Carly. She does well with it, I think, hitting the good notes.

Randy thinks its just so-so, pulling out the "started bad, ended good" cliche. Paula blows sunshine. How can anyone talk for ten minutes and not say anything? (yes, yes, I do that here all the time...). Simon didn't like it, saying he thinks she's better than that.

Syesha Mercado
And we're back, now with The Black Julia Stiles trying to take on Mariah. She's got the poofy hair, which is a good thing. She's singing "Vanishing", one of Mariah's old, old songs, off the first album. We all agree this is a good thing, since there's not Da Brat, DMX, Jay-Z, XYZ, LL Bean or anyone else to back her up.

The Lovely Steph Leann shows her musical knowledge by saying she wants to see a Mariah song sung without the runs. Whatever that means.

Randy says, "good job", while Paula rambles about butterflies, glitter, music boxes and rainbows. Simon says that while "technically it was very, very good, however, you run a risk by choosing a song that not many people know." I think she runs a risk by not being named David Rob Thomas Cook, The Dreadlocked One or Young David.

Brooke White
For whatever reason, My Next American Idol took a page from Simba's book and decided to fluffernut her hair up. KT imitates her by doing the same. But, remember, KT is not My Next American Idol.

Mariah is singing not only one of The Lovely Steph Leann's least favorite Mariah songs (and there aren't that many she'd consider favorites--unless you count "Last Night a DJ Saved My Life, ft Busta Rhymes, Fabulous and DJ Clue" from the "Glitter" album.) but also one of her least favorite songs ever.

My Next American Idol Brooke White is at the piano, singing "Hero". KT is mocking the head bobs, Britlicious has a scrunched look on her face, and The Lovely Steph Leann just threw up in her mouth. I, however, am amused and pleasantly pleased by My Next American Idol Brooke White.

Randy liked it... until the bridge. What? He liked the beginning, and didn't like the end? What is happening here?

Paula loved it, of course. Even pausing, perhaps looking for words to describe My Next American Idol Brooke White, perhaps trying not to drool. Who knows with Paula.

Simon says that she didn't have much choice with this song... he says its like a burger without the meat. No meat in the song. Paula is confused. So is My Next American Idol Brooke White. Randy pipes up, "There was meat! Maybe there was no condiments!"

Kristy Lee Cook
This is a song called "Forever". This is an Americal Idol called KLC. This is a performance sure to be interesting.

From the "Daydream" album, arguably one of my favorite discs of the 1990s, KLC is... actually doing it justice. Like, seriously. Like, I want to find this song horrendous, but seriously... not only does she look kinda cute, but she's singing a Mariah Carey song well.

Is this a sign of the rapture? Aussie Michael goes home, Randy likes the beginning of a song and not the ending, KLC does well on Mariah Week... next we'll see earthquakes, volcanos, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!! Of course, this might be a result of Global Warming, but who knows...

Randy is surprised that he liked it too. Paula shovels some sunshine her way. Simon even liked it a little bit.

KLC is actually kinda growing on me... she's not my least favorite, that honor now belonging to The Black Julia Stiles. Her sign, "Kristy's Seat", that she made to put on the Bottom Three chair was really funny, and she's done decently well for the last week or two. KLC won't win, but she might last a little longer.

David Cook
When finding out that David Rob Thomas Cook is next, Britlicious responds "This should be interesting."

He's taking on my 4th favorite Mariah song, "Always Be My Baby", fresh from the "Daydream" cd. And wow, DRTC is doing awesome. I love how this guy takes songs and makes his own arrangement... its not like he's just covering a song, its like he's in concert and among his own singles, he sings a cover of another artist in his own style. Fine, I'll admit it... I might consider buying a David Rob Thomas Cook cd, if the music is like this.

That was awesome. The Lovely Steph Leann didn't like the original, but really liked this version.

Randy stands up for the first time this season, with an applause. Paula says of the song, "That could be in a movie soundtrack." A what? Not a single, not a #1, but a movie soundtrack? Simon says, "That was like coming out of a bad karaoke concert to a breath of fresh air." Brilliant.

Jason Castro
And finally, The Dreadlocked One tries to follow up the incredible "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" version. From her first cd in 1990, The Dreadlocked One takes on my 9th favorite Mariah song ever, "I Don't Wanna Cry".


The Dreadlocked One was so good last week, I had to post this. As time goes by, this might join Amy Adams "Sin Wagon", George Huff's "Take Me To the Pilot", Kat McPhee's "Black Horse & the Cherry Tree", Carrie Underwood's "Alone", among others, as one of my favorite Idol performances ever...

Atop a stool, with a bongo drummer and guitarist behind him, The Dreadlocked One does his own little spin on the song. I like it... its a little risky, and yet, his version takes out all the huge notes he'd have to hit (and would undoubtedly miss) if he did a version closer to the original.

Randy says he didn't really love it. He pulls a Simon phrase and says, "I feel like I was at a beach luau, and someone is playing in the distance." Paula says, "I would love to be at that luau." Yes, yes she would.

Simon agrees with... Paula. Shockingly, he says it wasnt the best version, but it definately did The Dreadlocked One well.

So tonight... we all agree that tonight was good. Britlicious liked David Rob Thomas Cook, KT says David Rob Thomas Cook and "KLC, unfortunately." The Lovely Steph Leann liked My Next American Idol Brooke White. My favorites? I gotta go with David Rob Thomas Cook, followed by My Next American Idol Brooke White, and then... KLC? The Dreadlocked One, Irish Carly, Young David (only because I just don't like the song) and then, The Black Julia Stiles.

I put Irish Carly, The Black Julia Stiles and... My Next American Idol Brooke White in the bottom three. KLC stays safe, and The Black Julia Stiles goes home. Just my thoughts.