Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Idol on Broadway

Its lights… its music… its KT… it’s the Lovely Steph Leann… its Broadway…


Is American Idol.

No kidding… its Broadway night, featuring the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber. If anything, there should be something inspirational for Young David to belt out, and another chance for David Rob Thomas Cook to take a sappy song and turn it into a rock song.

Webber is known for such Broadway shows like Phantom of the Opera, Evita, The Starlight Express (a terrible show) and the highly overrated Cats. Really, really overrated. I have seen it twice. I saw it once with Kate Lewis, a dreamy Kappa Delta, in 1995, and was so bored by the show I fell asleep. So, a decade later, The Lovely Steph Leann and I went to see it. I stayed awake. And it still sucked.

Syesha Mercado
She’s taking on “One Rock and Roll Too Many” from… well, from a show I don’t know. Or maybe I do, but don’t know the song.

The Black Julia Stiles doesn’t have her poofy hair (and actually, she looks pretty hot), so I don’t know if this will be good or not. Actually, it sounds pretty good, almost like it belongs in “Chicago”, though that’s not a Webber show.

Randy declares it her best performance to date. Paula blows sunshine, calling this Broadway atmosphere “your happy place”. What? And then Simon tops it off by saying The Black Julia Stiles was very sexy.

Turns out this song was from Starlight Express, which is why I didn't recognize the song. I've tried to block that two hours out--which means it may or may not be better than Cats. Is it better to be bored to tears and miss some from nodding off, or be fully awake by the dazzling colors but be aghast at how crappy a story made up of toys that come alive on roller skates can be? These are the things that puzzle this great nation.

Jason Castro
So, he’s singing “Memory”. From Cats. I mean, the show was terrible, but the two bright spots were “Memory” and “Gus the Theater Cat”.

Just saw the Pixar trailer for “Wall*E”, and The Lovely Steph Leann just freaked out, and clapped with her feet. I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten her that excited.

The Dreadlocked admits to have never seeing any of the shows by Webber, and is surprised to find out that a cat sings it—an old “Glamour Puss”, according to Andy Webber. And he says he’s nervous about singing this song… and he should be.

I mean, I guess he’s not destroying the song… but really, no new ground has been broken here. The mosh pit was waving their arms, to which I said, “Those kids don’t even know what this song is.”

KT likes to make fun of The Dreadlocked One. She does it so much during this song, the Lovely Steph Leann actually smacks her.

Randy says it was a train wreck. Paula tries to find her way around the grumpy gorillas to give The Dreadlocked One some good ‘ol sunshine. Simon is rolling his eyes, saying it was the longest two minutes of his life.

Brooke White
Here’s a song called “You Must Love Me”, the new song from the “Evita” movie, starring Madonna. A-Webb says, “I’m not sure she had a clue what she was singing about.”

A-Webb gives her the explanation, and My Next American Idol Brooke White finally clicks, and is ready to blow us away!

She starts… and she stops after the first line, and asks the band to start again… KT somehow knew this (I think she was talking to Mrs. KT’s mom), and is quietly snickering at the demise of My Next American Idol Brooke White. Could this be the week that The Black Julia Stiles surpassed My Next American Idol Brooke White, much like she somehow topped Irish Carly and KLC last week?

The song is about death, or at least, a dying woman. And My Next American Idol Brooke White does the song justice, after her trouble at the beginning. And she stands, fearful of what is to come from the judges.

Randy says the vocals were tough, Paula is desperately searching for sunshine. She’s trying so hard. “You must never start and stop,” she says, slowly. Wow, there’s no sunshine, I mean, Paula is doing all she can to find some… My Next American Idol Brooke White doesn’t even get a “you look great!”

Simon says, “It was so dramatic, I love live TV!” He states the obvious, at how My Next American Idol Brooke White became very tense and wound up after starting and then stopping and starting again. She stands with Seacrest, holding back tears, doing her best to stay composed.

And since we're on the subject of Broadway, I figured I'd break out a video. Personally, my favorite show is "Mamma Mia!", followed ever so close by "Les Miserables", but Les Miz features my favorite Broadway tune of all time... "On My Own", sung by Eponine to start the second act. Talk about gut wretching. Like, she loves this guy like crazy, and she ends up dying while taking a love note from him to Cosette, the chick he actually loves. Bad times.

This is taken from the Les Miserables 10th Anniversary Concert, though my favorite version is found on the Highlights (not the Original Cast).

David Archuleta
Young David sings the songs from a guy who has shows that are almost all older than he is. The Lovely Steph Leann predicts “Music of the Night”.

Wow… he is taking “Think of Me”. I mean, that’s a huge one, sung by Christine Diae, the ingénue of the show, and Young David is going to take on a chick song. And for once, the arrangement for Young David strays off the beaten path, with a solo guitarist in the background.

I’ll be honest with ya… this might be the best I’ve ever heard him sing. Like, this song has gone from a classic Broadway showtune to something you’d hear on the former 94.5, when they used to play Michael Buble and Wilson Phillips.

KT is dissing on Young David’s hand motions, apparently motions he’s made many times before. All I know is, I’m marveled that I wasn’t bored.

Randy says “Da bomb! This boy’s the one to beat!!”. Paula, unlike My Next American Idol Brooke White, has plenty of sunshine for Young David. Simon says it was just pleasant, but weak. For one of the few times, I disagree, because I thought it was brilliant.

Young David did David Rob Thomas Cook before David Rob Thomas Cook had a chance to do David Rob Thomas Cook.

Carly Smithson
Irish Carly is taking on “The Phantom of the Opera” again, but until A-Webb hears her. He tells her not to sing “All I Ask of You” and steers her to “Jesus Christ Superstar”, which is one of my favorite, all time Broadway songs.

The version I have on my iPod is sung by a big black man named Clive Rowe, which I believe is the Judas character singing. Irish Carly is not really a big black man, but she’s rockin’ it out.

She took Broadway, threw it in the Heart Barracuda Machine, and out pops a great, great night. KT looks bored to tears.

Randy doesn’t know if its her best, but it was definitely good. Paula loved it so much, she’s dumping sunshine by the bra full on Irish Carly. Simon thought it was a little shouty, but declared it one of his favorite performances of the night. Irish Carly pulls out a shirt that says “Simon Likes Me!! (this week)”.

You know, upon furthe contemplation, she would have rocked out with "Phantom of the Opera", though I guess the duet part would have been hard.

David Cook
From Phantom of the Opera, David Rob Thomas Cook takes on “Music of the Night”, to which A-Webb declares it’s the most sensual song he’s ever written. I think A-Webb actually might be coming on to David Rob Thomas Cook. Awkward, bad times. Seriously.

I mean, he’s no Michael Crawford—who is, really—but he’s not doing too bad. He’s keeping with the traditional performances of the song, as if he stepped straight out of the show, straight off of stage. KT says, “I think its frickin’ awesome…”, but I don’t know whether to believe her, because she said the same thing about Young David and My Next American Idol Brooke White.

Wow. That was feeeee-nominal.

Randy says it was amazing, another molten hot lava bomb right here. Paula + sunshine = blubber. Simon says David Rob Thomas Cook made the most of the song, though admits its not the side of he likes.

I think this was a great step for DRTC, simply because he’s done some great stuff already—“Hello”, “Billie Jean”, and so on—but tonight, he showed us a different side, and proved that yes, he can sing whatever.

Tonight, David Rob Thomas Cook takes my top spot, over Young David, who was almost equally as great. Behind the Davids, Irish Carly and The Black Julia Stiles tied for third, while… okay, The Dreadlocked One was slightly better than My Next American Idol Brooke White, but she is My Next American Idol… so The Dreadlocked One is last tonight.

The bottom three? My Next American Idol Brooke White, The Black Julie Stiles and The Dreadlocked One… and I think tomorrow night is the night we lose My Next American Idol Brooke White. Sigh.

And probably deservedly.


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