Thursday, April 10, 2008

The World's Wildest Blog Videos Caught On Tape

Hey... big ups to Joey Thornell and Alissa Kelly, who got engaged tonight! Joey is a great guy, and Alissa is a beautiful girl, and together, it seems just right, doesn't it? Congrats!!

One of the biggest shockers in Idol's history... and I wasn't surprised. Well, okay, I was a little surprised, but inevitably, someone who could potentially win gets voted off before someone who has no business advancing.

Michael Johns fell victim to the same curse that saw Daughtry, Melinda Doolittle, Kimberly Locke, even CheezyDeezy, and countless others get the boot, while watching lesser talented (in this case Syesha Mercado) or less interesting (in this case, KLC) advance, to join Jasmine Trias, Sanjaya, Josh Gracin and even Taylor Hicks in the "Shouldn't Be Still Here" group.

I can actually agree when they say "this is the most talented group ever", because truly, when David Rob Thomas Cook, Young David Archuleta, My Next American Idol Brooke White, Irish Carly Smithson and The Dreadlocked One Jason Castro go head to head as the final five, its going to be awesome... if they all make it that far. Let's face it--I like The Black Julia Stiles. I think she's borderline hot. But she's kinda boring, really. And KLC? There's nothing interesting about her. She seems pleasant, but she's not My Next American Idol.

Bottom line is, Michael Johns deserved to stay. His version of "Dream On", while not perfect, truly wasn't his worst. But that's me.

I do love my DirecTV. There's a Jewelry Channel. Like, really. Right now, I'm watching truTV (formerly CourtTV), some show called "Bait Car". I don't really know the premise of the reality show, or as TruTV says, "actuality show", other than... well, "bait cars" are placed out to bait car thieves. Apparently, it works, hence, the show "Bait Car".

The in-car dash cam catches this exchange between a father and son:
Son, realizing the cops are behind him: Go! Just go, dad, go!
Father, drunk: Naw, son, they got us
Son: No dad! Just hit the gas! Go!
Father, pulling over: Naw son, they got us. They got us.
Police, in the background and getting out of their car: Put your hands where we can see them!
Son, raising his hands straight up through the open sunroof: I love you, dad

No, KT, I'm not making any of this up.

Another show I dig on truTV is Panama City Beach Patrol, which is just what it sounds like. Cameras follow the Panama City Police during Spring Break. I hail from Samson, AL, which is about 70 minutes north of Panama City... actually, take a left out of my parents driveway, head down Hwy 87, which turns to Hwy 81 when you cross the Florida line, travel another 50 miles, take a left, then take a right, and 15 minutes later, you're at the water. You could literally skip school, enjoy five hours at the beach, then get back before the last bell rang. Not that I did that.

Anyway, its fun to watch Panama City Beach Patrol, because I totally recognize, and have actually stayed, at some of the hotels and motels in the background. I watch the show, and I'm like "Hey, I made out with Labett White there!" or "Hey, I danced in a fire lit circle outside of that hotel!" or "I went to that club!"

Crap like this is a guilty pleasure--though I'm not a big fan of "Cops", cause there's only so much redneck I can take. I love those "World's Wildest Police Chase" shows too... Once, while actually in Panama City, I was about to head out of the hotel room to enjoy the sunshine of a 75 degree day. One of those shows was on, and I ended up sitting down and watching it. Drew Morris came in. He started watching it. Shawn Sharp walked in, and he too was caught. Another guy came in, and was sucked in. So, at the worlds most beautiful beaches, on a nice 75 degree day, when there are scantily clad Christian girls outside in inappropriate bikinis (this was a churchy type retreat), and there are four guys, watching two hours of "World's Wildest Police Chases" on the local Fox affiliate.

On right now? "The Smoking Gun presents The World's Dumbest Drivers Caught On Video", featuring commentary by Danny Bonaduce, Tonya Harding and Leif Garrett. I love my life.

Watching this show, though I did flip through the channels though, and on certain settings, you can see the information about a show as you continue to watch the original show. This is important to know the channel never changes when I tell you that right now on Cinemax is "Bikini Girls From Lost Planet". I only mention this because the info says "Scantily clad women are pleasing to the eye". I laughed.

I just realized that I've got 9,830 files on my iPod, a collection of songs, videos, TV shows and other fun stuff... and nowhere is Bobby Darin's "Mack the Knife". This is a travesty that must be corrected immediately.

I'll download it tomorrow, at the same time as "Over the Rainbow", the version by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, as peformed by The Dreadlocked One this past week on Idol. I'd heard this version behind some commercial, but didn't know who was singing it... now I know it, and I'll own it. I rule.

Seems I have lots of C-list celebrity friends... many of you readers know that Ambre Lake and I, from "Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels", were friends in college, went out once, and did children's theater together. I'm also friends with Michael Warren, local musician and on the verge of breaking it big. And now, my buddy Bobby Black (turn up your volume, then click on the top section... its priceless) found me on Facebook, and not only has he done some successful cruise work, he's been headlining with his group The Las Vegas Tenors.

Bobby is the one on screen when you see "A Night To Remember!" splash across the screen.

He also told me he's friends with Paige Davis. I love Paige Davis. Seriously. Now I'm jealous.

Which brings me back to The Panama City Beach Patrol... they rescued some kid from alcohol poisoning at the same Holiday Inn that Miranda Bryant, Mandy Stewart, Bobby Black and I stayed in, when... you know, this is where the circle of fire comes in... you only thought I was kidding about the part, didn't you?

Last summer, I worked really hard on assembling my favorite 100 movies of all time, in list form. I called it The Dave100. Then, I set out to list them, one by one, starting at 100, all the way to my favorite movie ever. Well, life caught up, as it tends to do, and I never got past the first ten movies or so... in that time, I've managed to see a few more films, such as "The 40 Year Old Virgin" that I absolutely love, and films like "Enchanted" that I know I'll be able to watch over and over and over...

And I've reviewed my original list, and seen a few movies near the bottom that, last summer, I really was crazy about, but upon further review today, perhaps aren't as good as some. I watched half of "To Kill a Mockingbird" today--my pick for the Greatest Film Ever Made--and realized it should be ranked higher. I love that movie.

And... my number one has changed. I have a new favorite movie, really for the first time in about, I don't know, 18 years.

So, with all that in mind, plus a few new people I can call on to commentate, such as KT, or Jason, or even DeLisa and husband DeNick, I'm going to restart the list this summer... restart and finish the list this summer. That's my pledge.

On the "The Smoking Gun presents The World's Dumbest Drivers Caught on Video", just saw a clip of guy who had stolen a car, veered off the road and jumped out to surrender. Only, he forgot to put the truck in park. He leaps on the ground, puts his hands behind his head, and the truck proceeds to roll over his leg. The funniest thing was, the guy kept his hands behind his head when he started screaming in pain, and rolling around, and the cops just ran up and planted their feet in his back.

Okay, I just flipped through the channel guide, and saw that "The Last of the Mohicans" is coming on Starz! tonight, at around 130am. I don't plan on being awake, but if I am, I'll end up watching it. "The Last of the Mohicans" is not only in the Dave100, (Spoiler Alert!) its in the Dave25... just an incredible movie.

When Daniel Day-Lewis is holding on to the then-hot Madeleine Stowe in the waterfall cave, you hear one of the greatest Pimp lines ever... "No, you submit, do you hear? You be strong... you survive... you must stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you."

It's God's will that I didn't deliver these lines to Kathy Hollingsworth my freshman year of college, because she would have totally been mine had I done so. I'm okay with how it turned out, ya know?


  1. Call me stupid all ya want...but I STILL can't see these darn videos!!


  2. Your blogs are extremely long. I commend you for having so many thoughts to write about during the week. It's a shame I didn't start reading until the end of the job where I had hours to spare. I would have some good reading material.

  3. i've heard similar comments... sometimes i think i could just post a paragraph here and a little bit there... but thats just how i roll... er, write...

  4. I really liked Michael Johns. I wish KLC would get out. Darn you "vote for the worst!"


    Theres a website where you can consolidate all your "favorites" on to one website. Then, you can rearrange them as you wish. But I am not gonna lie, I don't know where it is anymore.

    Jessica Drewien


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