Things I Think I Think

Here are my thoughts while putting up ornaments and listening to "The Social Network" on Starz West, playing in the background...

Okay, well, "The Social Network" was about nine hours ago... now I'm watching "Cedar Rapids", with a B-List cast of Ed Helms, John C. Reilly, Anne Heche and Milton from Office Space.

Honestly, I really thought this movie would be funny... it was billed as an independent comedy, with Ed Helms playing a naive, nerdy insurance agent being sent to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, for a conference, where he meets other agents, some good and bad, who influence him in good and bad ways... the movie has been on for about 50 minutes, and I honestly haven't laughed one single time.  Ed Helms is so dorky in this movie its almost unbearable, John C. Reilly, normally someone who delivers, is way over the top as the crude, raunchy Dean Z, and Anne Heche is the only likable person in this entire movie.  And though I have nothing against Anne Heche, when Anne Heche is the only likable person in your movie, its not a good time.  Bad times.

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Wanna make a billion dollars?  Invest in a McDonald's or Chick-fila franchise.  Then make breakfast available all day.  Or even until 1032am, because that seems to be the time I arrive there wanting my McGriddle combo, or a 4 count chicken mini pack... I've even heard a chick at Chick-fila tell a customer who asked about breakfast--at 1032 no less--"We cut it off right at 1030".   Seriously?  Can you not just sell me the biscuit you are about to throw out like, right now?

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So now its 2012.  According to the Mayan calendar, or at least what everyone tells me the Mayan calendar says, the world will end in December.  Right now its not so bad... but come October, the amount of times you'll hear something about "the end of the world" and/or Mayan calendar is going to be close to 1,397 times per day.

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Saw a Facebook picture that said this, and its glorious:

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Okay, enough with the rich people suck deal.  When EVERYONE who should be paying taxes is paying taxes, then we can discuss whether the "rich" should pay more than they are paying right now.  So get the other 49% of non-taxpayers on board doing their fair share, and we'll talk.

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Once socks come off my feet, they are done.  I can wear a pair for a 9 hours shift at Starbucks, have them spotted, maybe even wet with everything from mocha splatter to mop water, and when I get home, just change from my black work sneaks to my regular sneaks, same socks.  But when I take them off, I cannot put them back on.  However, if I toss on a pair of socks just to give me a padding between my bare feet and shoes just for the 10 minute trip to CVS and back, when they are off the feet... they are done.  I don't put on a pair of socks that I have worn previously, since the last wash.

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First world problem. My earbuds broke.  I don't use the iPod earbuds that came standard, I choose to use a pair of Sonys that I got hooked on some years back.  They just fit.  However, a quick dinner at Milo's proved to be fatal... with a fumble of the hands, my earbuds slipped, crashed onto the hard tile floor, and the left one came apart.  I managed to put it back together, but now the sound difference in the left and right is unbearable.  Went to Wal-Mart tonight, almost settled for a pair of JVCs as they were out of the Sonys, but I will hold strong.  Target is in my immediate future, at least tomorrow.  First world problem indeed.

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That awkward moment when standing in a Wal-Mart check-out line, your thirsty, you grab a drink from the nearby cooler, and before you even get to the cashier, you realize its not Mello Yello.... its, in fact, Mello Yello Zero.

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That new fad of describing awkward situations by using a sentence that doesn't have a subject, and only begins with the predicate, making it more of a clause than a sentence.

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I have yet to hear a Nicki Minaj song.  And I'm quite fine with that.

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I also had yet to hear "Friday" by Rebecca Black until about two hours ago, listening to The Adam Carolla Podcast, it was playing in the background as a humorous addition to a humorous bit.  So now I've heard at least part of "Friday".  Yup, its that bad.

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So have you seen the Alumi-Wallet?  Its simply a hard shell wallet, made of supposed aluminum, and supposedly indestructible.  I'm here to tell you--its a piece of crap.  Retailing for about $10, it does in fact have that hard shell, almost looking like a teeny tiny metal briefcase, you know, those ones that drug dealers put $1,000,000 in cash inside of before passing it off to the undercover agent who is wearing a wire... got me?  Good.  Anyway, you open it up with this little plastic clasp, and its like an accordion file, with maybe 10 pockets.  Each can hold a card or two, maybe a bill or two, but you dare not put too many cards (or too many bills, which is not a problem I have) in at one time--it wont close.

Plus, knock it over while its open and everything falls out... there's nothing to secure the wallets contents.  And the worst part is, the commercials show a car rolling over it and everything inside staying safe... well, I didn't roll Red Robin over it.  But I did drop it once, the clasp broke and now it won't close.   I don't recall my old wallet, a cheap leather job, failing to close or be secure when dropped.  Not a fan.

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And finally... when I take down this Christmas tree in our house, I find myself thinking over and over that this tree is more trouble than its worth, and that I don't ever want to put it up again... does anyone else feel this way?  Anyone?  Just me?  Okay.