Wednesday, April 28, 2010

And Idol the Twain Shall Meet

American Idol. 

Season Nine.

The season that might--nay, is probable to--end Idol's dominance on network tv.  The buzz is gone.  No one is talking postively about this season, no one is excited about this year, and let's face it, as good as Crystal Bowersox is, and as good as Lee DeWyze or Siobhan Magnus might be, who out there is going to buy their CD?  I'm not.  

Yes, Idol has rebounded before... from Ruben Studdard in Season 2, we got Carrie Underwood a few years later. Taylor Hicks ended a down season, only to have David Cook roll through a few years later.  But this year?  The one-two-three-four punch of losing Paula to Kara the New Hotness (much, much hotter than Paula, but not nearly as entertaining) to the addition of America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen, who no one I know is seeing as a good addition, to the overall weak Top 12 (usually when there is a weak Top 12. there are at least three or four that generates some excitement--not this year) to Simon Cowell leaving next season...

Having said that, I do want to add on to last week's recap on Idol Gives Back.  I fast forwarded through most of the segments showing the places the funds are going not because I didn't want to see it, but for times sake.  Just didn't have the time to watch two and almost a half hours worth of montages.  I will say the segment showing Annie Lennox with the young girl who, a few years back, was barely clinging to life and now is healthy and looking great--that was a winner.

American Idol is to be commended for "Idol Gives Back".  Here's a show that, despite a ratings dip, still draws in what seems like a bajillion people very week, and using that platform they are able to reach those bajillion people and ask them for help.  It can be a bit silly, somewhat corny, but the video segments are great.  Not this year, but I've watched them in the past and they are great.  And no doubt, the good they have done is tremendous... last week's show raised $45,000,000, which is awesome.  And I'm sure that Fergie and Joss Stone and others are enjoying the exposure they get for being on the show, I also believe they want to help too, and donate their services. 

Its also worthy of note that American Idol doesn't do this every year... they don't want this to be a "Look at us!  Look at what we are going to do every April!" anymore than it already is, and though they could milk this as a "cash cow", they choose to do it every few years to make it special.  I jab at Idol, the judges, Seacrest and the overall show many times, but in all seriousness, I raise my coffee cup with clouds in it to Idol for the event. 

Alright... enough fluff...


Shania Twain is, along with Garth Brooks, the face of country music in the 1990s.  Her songs are catchy, memorable, and I don't know anyone who just "hates" Shania.  She's not my favorite, I don't own any of her CDs, and I don't know the words to most of her songs.. but when "Man, I Feel Like a Woman", or "That Don't Impress Me Much" or "Who's Bed Have Your Boots Been Under" I sing along.  I feel compelled to.  And you know what, so do you. 

She's classy, she's beautiful, she's from Canada and so on.  And her stupid husband Mutt left her for another woman, a move that would be like Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock with Bombshell McGee, or someone driving a brand new Mercedes M Class, and then trading it in for a 1990 Suburu.  Not a good move.   In perhaps the greatest bit of irony, Shania then went on to date the other woman's man. 

I mention this because not only was Shania a guest judge earlier this year, she is tonight's guest mentor, and tonight is the Music of Shania Twain. 

The Top Six perform!  Big Mike!  Siobhan the Glass Blower!  Aaron the High School Kid!  Crystal the Mama Sox!  Casey the Cindy Jo Dreamboat!  And Lee the... uh... well, that Lee Guy!

Lee DeWyze
He's singing "Still the One'.  I call upon someone I know on Facebook, that being Miss Ivey, the star of her own reality show called "Lee & Missi Ivey + Fivey" (premiering simultaneously on TLC, WE, Versus and SpikeTV in 2012), who said the following:

[I do] NOT understand the hype over Lee DeWyze. Am I the only one that hears how bad his pitch is? The best thing about his performance was me remembering singing that same song to [my husband] at a karaoke contest one time. Don't judge.

Randy the Dawg says this is one of his favorite songs of all time.  Really?  He kinda liked it.  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness loved it.  Simon the Cowell said it was the perfect song.  For me, personally, I am somewhere between the judges loving it and Missi Ivey not digging it at all. 

Big Mike
This week he's singing "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing", which is a lesser known Shania song... and hearing Shania speak, the Canada in her comes out via accent.  Kinda funny.

Sitting on the steps, Big Mike launches into the ballad.  The camera flashes to Shania in the audience, and she's smiling at the performance.

Randy the Dawg loved it.  America's Favorite Lesbian compared it to Luther Vandross (that is a huge compliment).  Kara the New Hotness loved the connection with the audience.  Simon the Cowell agrees with the Luthor comparison, though he didn't like the performance quite as much as the other judges.  He calls it "Wet" and the cannot explain what he means.  I thought it was great.

Sidebar... I'm not sure about "Furry Vengeance", but it looks like a disaster on par with Obamacare.  That bad. 

Casey James
The long haired superstar is singing "Don't", another one I'm not that familiar with.  CJ says he's extremely excited about this performance, as it will show his soft side.

Dude, I'm really digging this song and his version of it... I like this.  Makes me want to go to iTunes and look up the original.  This sounds like a song that could actually be on the radio today.

Randy loved it.  Ellen DeG loved it, comparing him to Bob Seger, another huge nod.  Kara the New Hotness says she loved it.  Simon the Cowell says that last week (in the Bottom Three) was a big wake up call for CJ, and this week he was great.  He suggests the CJ come down and hug Shania, and in the same way that I would be, he probably takes four steps at time to get there. 

Oh, stop it.  If you told The Lovely Steph Leann, "Hey, there's Colin Firth and he wants to give you a hug", it would take a matter of 0.04 seconds for her to be there.  It would be like the Road Runner cartoons where you'd see just a puff of smoke where she used to be.

Crystal Bowersox
C'Bosox admits she's been a fan since she was a kid.  Admitting its a hint to her boyfriend to "man up", she's singing "No One Needs to Know".  She's completely countrified the whole song, its twangy, its twingy, and it sounds great. 

Randy enjoyed C'Bosox's countrification of the song.  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness liked it.  Simon the Cowell says it wasn't as good as before... but I liked it.  Better than Lee, actually.

Aaron Kelly
The youngling of Idol is doing "You've Got a Way", which immediately makes me think of the Billy Joel song... though that's "She's got a way.... about her... don't know what it is..."
It is worthy of note that the line "...its in the way we make love..." got changed to "...its in the way you show your love...", partly because this is a family show, and partly because no one will believe a 16 year old kid as precious as Aaron Kelly singing about getting it on. 

Randy the Dawg loved it.  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness mentions the line change, and Aaron admits that he was singing to his mom.  Which means the original line would only work in Mississippi... oh!  Burn!  Simon the Cowell praised the song as well.

Siobhan Magnus
There are some songs in country music that come across as anthems.... I mean, you don't just sing 'em, you belt 'em out.  You go bonkers on them.  You do it loud, you do it proud and as a result of how the song must be properly performed, only certain people can really pull it off... "Ain't Going Down Til the Sun Comes Up" by Garth Brooks is one, "Redneck Woman" from Gretchen Wilson is another.

And "Any Man of Mine" is a third.  This is what Siobhan looks to sing, and good thing because her ballady slowness in the last few weeks has done her no favors.   I dig this song.

This is a song that you don't just sing, you perform it.  And Siobhan, for better or worse, is doing her best to perform it.  She's almost... almost... pulling it off.  She's gotten away from that screech note at the end lately, but she brings it back in full force.

Randy loved it.  Ellen DeG said "Way to pull the Shania Twain into the station".  For a pun master, that was terrible.  Just terrible.  Kara the new Hotness said, "Siobhan's back!!" and Simon thought it was fun, but didn't like that last note.

Tonight... Casey James... Big Mike... Crystal Bowersox... Siobhan Magnus Aaron Kelly... Lee DeWyze

Aaaaaaannnndddd... Results.

We're back... its a few hours later, since I saw the last episode, though 24 hours since the episode actually appeared... and, with one hand on the keyboard and another on the Fast Forward DVR button...




Seacrest informs us that Shakira and Rascal Flatts are here tonight, and performances from a few others, including Lady Antebellum... when The Lovely Steph Leann watches this, I have a feeling she'll be watching all the music tonight... well, maybe not Shakira...

Here's Rascal Flatts to kick the show off, with "Unstoppable"... too bad the song is not called "Unfastforwardable"... cause...

Fast Forward through Rascal Flatts

Watch Seacrest banter with Rascal Flatts

Fast Forward through commercials

Fast Forward through Ford Commercial

Fast Forward through Shrek promo

People think I don't like Shrek because its anti-Disney... and thats not really it... I don't like Shrek because aside from a few laughs here and there, I never found it funny.  The first one was clever, I admit, but the second and third one... just not so much.  Cameron Diaz and Antonia Banderas are on stage, now bantering with Seacrest.

Dude, Antonio is looking oooooold.  No joke.

Dim the lights!  Results time!  Usually, whoever you are standing by in the groups of 2 or 3 will tell you if you are in trouble or not... after last night though, not so much.  Last night was unusual, mostly because no one was really bad.  There was some good, there was some great, but nobody bad.

Siobhan Magnus stands up, and is directed to the far side of the stage.  Aaron Kelly is asked to go to the center of the stage.  Big Mike is asked to stand close to the Couches of Comfort, on stage left.  Lee stands up, and is sent to stand with Siobhan.  Casey James stands, and Seacrest asks him to stand with Big Mike.  Kara the New Hotness says, "I've always been a big fan of yours... but not because you are good looking."  Finally, Crystal Bowersox is asked to go stand with Aaron Kelly.

Seacrest then moves Siobhan to stand with Big Mike and Casey, then says, "This is your Bottom Three".  Sneaky, that Ryan Seacrest... this puts Aaron, Lee and Crystal as safe.

Fast Forward through commercials

Fast Forward through The Sons of Sylvia

Carrie Underwood sighting!  She introduces Sons of Sylvia.  Who remembers Sylvia from the early 80s?  She only had two hits, really, but her big one was called "Nobody"...  "Your Nobody called today, she hung up with I asked her name, well I wonder if she thinks she's being clever (clever... oh oh)... you say nobody's after you, if that is what you say is true, well I can love you like Nobody can.  Even better."  Awesome.

Fast Forward through Sons of Sylvia

Fast Forward through commercials

Seacrest is back, and introduces Lady Antebellum.  The Lovely Steph Leann loves, loves, lurves this group.  What can I say... I like 'em to.

Not fast forwarding through Lady Antebellum.

 "Its a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now... said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control, and I need you now... and I don't know how I can do without,  I just need you now... Its a quarter after one, and I'm a little drunk and I need you now"  Sounds like college for me, how 'bout you?  (I kid, I kid!)  Actually, kinda sounds like The Lovely Steph Leann when she was trying to win me over.  Drunk calling me in the middle of the night, I swear that woman was persistant.  Sheesh.

Fast Forwarding through commercials

Does anyone else think that Shakira looks like Cora, the singer chick from "Music and Lyrics"?  Anyway, she's performing with Rascal Flatts.  And no, that's not a typo.  I end up watching it out of morbid curiousity.  And I'm so glad I didn't fast forward, because I would have missed this exchange:

Seacrest:  Shakira, what advice can you give the remaining contestants?
Shakira:  Well, I can... I can think of the famous quote, its a beautiful quote by Roosevelt, its a quote that is beautiful and famous and it says 'Keep reaching for the stars but keep your feet on the ground', and thats what I would say to them
Seacrest:  I think Casey Kasem said that
Shakira:  Well, I didn't say it

That, my friends, is what as known in the bid-ness as "Comedic Gold".

Dim the Lights, let's kick someone out!  But first, let's send someone back to the Couches of Comfort.  And that someone is Big Mike.  And this is where Siobhan goes home.

Fast forward through commercials

Back with Seacrest... the person who goes home tonight is... Siobhan Magnus.  CALLED IT!  CALLED IT!  CAAAAALLLLEED IT!!!!

What can I say.  Did well, but too little too late.  And with less than half the competition left, this is when we start seeing the surprises go home.  I still predict that Bowersox goes home in the next three weeks, and Lee and Casey end up in the finals. 

1 comment:

  1. I've revised my final three from CBosox, DeWyze, & Casey J...

    I now believe it will still be Bosox and DeWyze at the end but cute little Aaron Kelly will make a run for finals and end up third.

    He is an extreme dark horse in this race but I think he has a chance to make it. That boy's got skills. He just needs lots of polishing.


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