Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs (Happiest Place Finale Part I)

This is the first of a three part post on the final show at The Happiest Place in the Mall...

Part One is a few of the conversations I've had regarding the confusing, poorly worded signs we've had all over the place. 

Guest: "How much is the Minnie Mouse stuff on that wall?"

Yours Truly:  Um... its an additional 25% off

Guest:  "Oh, I didn't know.  I didn't see a sign anywhere."

Guest:  So, I see here that your hardware is for sale, but (pointing at bottom line on sign) is the animation stuff at the top and in the window for sale?

Yours Truly (puzzled, then reading): No sir, animation at top and in window unavailable for purchase

Guest:  Oh. That's too bad.

Guest:  How much is these bunnies?

Yours Truly:  Well, they're $2.99 after the 40% discount

Guest:  Oh, I see that now.  So is that $2.99, then you take 40% off of that?  How much is that going to be?

Yours Truly:  No, ma'am, its $2.99... that's after the discount is taken

Guest:  Oh, so that's the price after the 40% comes off

Yours Truly:  Yes ma'am.  Its $2.99... after the discount is taken

Guest:  Okay.  (pause)  How much is these dogs?

Guest:  I was looking for the snowglobes.  Where are they now?

Yours Truly:  Well, all we have left (doing Disney point to the end of store) is on that fixture.  We're completely out of Belle, though we do have Aurora and Ariel left.

Guest: Oh, I already got Belle and those others.  Any Cinderella?

Yours Truly: No ma'am, we don't have anymore of those.  Sold out.

Guest:  When will you be getting any in?

Yours Truly:  Well, at this point, probably never.

Guest: Never?  Do you guys not carry snowglobes now?

Yours Truly:  No ma'am, and I'd say in about two weeks, we won't be carrying anything any more.

Guest:  Why not?  You guys just selling everything before you get new stuff in?

Yours Truly:  No, we're closing our store.

Guest: Closing?  Closing!  Really?!

Yours Truly:  Yes ma'am.  April 24th.

Guest:  Wow. Too bad.  Have you guys got anything on sale?

Guest:  I bought this Piglet, and my granddaughter already has it.  Can't I just get a refund?

Yours Truly:  Sir, I'm sorry.  All sales are final at this point.

Guest: What?  Why?

Yours Truly: Well, sir, we're closing and we...

Guest: Closing?  Really?  So I can't get a refund on this?  I mean, I don't need it.

Yours Truly:  I'm sorry, we can't take anything back right now.  All sales are final.

Guest:  No one told me that.

AND FINALLY...

Guest, after stopping and staring at this particular sign for 45 seconds, then turning to me:  Are you closing?

And of course,

Guest:  So, tell me why you are closing

Yours Truly:  Its a leasing issue with the mall

Guest:  That's really terrible, I hate that.  When is your last day?

Yours Truly:  April 24th.  Indeed.

Another Guest, who was standing almost right beside me hearing this entire conversation:  You're closing?

Sigh.