THIS IS
AMERICAN IDOL!!!
7:02p... Here comes our judges... America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres, Randy the Dawg, Kara the New Hotness and Simon the Cowell. And Ryan the Seacrest comes out as our host... Lacey Brown sighting in the audience!
Nine remain, on the quest to be the last Idol standing... tonight's theme is "The Lennon/McCartney Songbook".
Beatles. Overrated. There. I said it. Get over it.
7:04p... Paul McCartney gives words of encouragement by video. Seriously? He couldn't show up? Usher, dropping a new album, came last week. I'll bet Usher sells more than Paul does right now.
And getting the lead off tonight... Aaron Kelly.
7:09p... This is tough. I'm so used to zipping through these commericals quickly, via the DVR remote control... not tonight. Huggies, drugfree.org, Taco Bell... I'm actually getting advertisements shown in my brain.
7:10p... We're back. Aaron is going to sing "The Long and Winding Road". I wrote a story once called "The Long and Winding Road", back when I was in high school. It was about this country hick guy who is visiting his snobbish, cheerleadery cousin. She has no use for him, and she's rather embarassed to have him around, and certainly mortified when her mom demands she take him to a party. A party thrown by the "popular" kids in the school.
Anyway, there's a hay ride, and somehow they get stranded together when the hayride stops, and they fail to get back on. The rest of the story (Randy only sort of liked the song) is the two of them walking back, and her defenses falling a little as she discovers maybe he's not (Ellen though the song was long and winding) as stupid and hillbilly as she thought he was.
(Kara the New Hotness thought it was so-so). The title of the story comes in when he professes a love for the Beatles and Paul McCartney, which of course shocks her, who think's he's all about Dolly Parton and old country. He sings the verse and chorus of "Long and Winding Road" to her... it ends when (Simon thought the song--Aaron Kelly's, not Hillbilly Cousin's) they reach the group again after a few hours of walking, and her whole mindset has changed. It was one of my favorite stories I'd written back in those days. Just thought I'd share.
Katie Stevens is up next.
7:21p... Seacrest tells America that its prom season, and Katie has been asked five times. Creeeeeepy. I went to two proms while I was in high school... both my junior and senior proms, both with Cindy Howell. She and I dated off and on for like, 2 years--what's weird is that we kinda dated right up until prom my junior year, broke up, but she went with me anyway. Then somehow, we got back together later that year, during my Senior year... then, we dated up until my Senior Prom, broke up, she went anyway (this was after a failed attempt to take Amy Farris instead), she had a miserable time, I had a great time...
I went to two more while in college, with my friends Brandy and Cheryl, to their proms in Samson and Coffee Springs, respectively. Just sayin'.
Katie is singing "Let It Be". I'm bored. I mean, she's doing pretty good, but it was still kinda boring.
Randy the Dawg said it was her best performance. Ellen DeG says, "Amazing". Kara the Hotness says she made the song her own, and was great. Simon the Cowell says she got it right tonight, after being in the Bottom Three two weeks in a row.
7:33p... The Lovely Steph Leann is at her parents house right now, will maybe join us later. I only mention this because the preview for Glee just came on, and if she saw that, she just squealed like a little girl.
Randy the Dawg said it was good and solid. Ellen DeG says, "First of all, you can buy love... and it was a perfect song choice." Kara the New Hotness wanted to love it... but didn't. She said it wasn't new from him, and wants more. Why do I find her so attractive? Simon the Cowell says it was like a wedding band when the guitarist, not the lead singer, singing the song.
7:40p... A commercial for H&R Block, featuring some guy who finally took his tax returns there, and they found him like, all kinds of refunds and things. If I took my tax returns, they wouldn't find jack. Except for more stuff I owe, I'm sure.
7:46p... Big Mike used to be in his family's group, called "The Lynche Mob". His last name? "Lynche". Clever.
7:46p... He's singing "Eleanor Rigby", which along with "Penny Lane", constitute my favorite 2 Beatles songs, by far and away. I'll be honest with ya... I'm digging this soul version of the song.
Randy the Dawg said that the song could be a joint on the album. Ellen DeG thought it was a huge risk, but she loved it. Kara the New Hotness said it was fire, and amazing. Simon the Cowell said he didn't love it as much as the others did, because this was the kind of song you'd see and hear in musicals. I completely disagress... I thought it was great, and my favorite of the whole night thusfar.
7:52p... C'Bosox is up next
7:57p... A preview teaser for "The Good Guys" starring Colin Firth Member Bradley Whitford... though how much longer he gets to keep his membership will be up to The Lovely Steph Leann. The show looks fantastic.
8p... Crystal Bowersox is performing "Come Together", including a guy performing the diggerydoo. That's not a made up word, Coffee Drinkers... that's an Australian type instrument.
This isn't one of my favorite Beatle songs, and by extension, this isn't one of my favorite performances of the night... but she's doing a great job with it. And it looks like she might have even gotten her vampire teeth fixed... she was dangerously close to looking like Scott McIntyre the Deaf Vampire Guy.
Randy the Dawg said the diggerydoo was kind of distracting, but loved C'Bosox. Ellen DeG looks for a new way to tell her how great she is. Kara the New Hotness says it was one of her favorite MamaSox performances. She compares her to Bonnie Raitt, and I can totally see that. Simon the Grumpy Cowell says it was a song that he could hear on the radio. I liked Big Mike better, but it was good.
8:06p... Off to break, and Tim-May! is next
8:11p... Seacrest lets us know that Young David Archuleta and Rhianna will both perform tomorrow night, and now, Tim Urban will be singing "All My Lovin'".
8:13p... You know, I hate to say this... but I really like Tim tonight. Seriously. Well, let's be real here, I'd take Didi, Michelle My Belle, Janell, Alex Lambert or even Angela Martin over Tim Urban, but still...
Randy the Dawg likes the Beatles do that Tim Urban is sporting, and thought the song was good. Ellen DeG said the song choice was perfect, and one of his best. Kara the New Hotness likes the fact Tim took their feedback to heart, and likes the song. Simon the Cowell says he thought the song was really good.
8:19p... CJ is next.
8:19p... The trailer for "Grown Ups "... it looks ridiculous. And awesome. And there's a Bob Seger song that is playing in the background that I can't find--well, that's not true. The truth is that iTunes doesn't have Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band songs, which is a travesty. I bought a $7 Bob Seger compilation CD the other day, but didn't have the song I wanted either. Still, it rocked. Driving down I-459, with "Hollywood Nights" jamming while the windows were down, enjoying a 71 degree day. Dig it, man, dig it.
8:24p... Casey James is going to sing, and somewhere, somehow, Cindy Jo is
8:26p... If they allowed cigerette lighters in the Kodak Theater, I'm guessing they would be raised high. Wait, what am I saying? This isn't 1987... okay, if they allowed it, I'm guessing the audience would be waving their cell phones high.
8:27p... A little slow, but really good. Randy the Dawg was impressed by the song selection, and that CJ played the acoustic instead of the electric. Ellen DeG was feelin' him, dawg. Feelin' him. Kara the New Hotness liked the vunerability. Simon the Cowell calls him "Goldilocks" and then tells him it was the best performance of the night. I agree...
8:30p... Okay, so this show is scheduled to end at 9pm Its 8:30. That's thirty minutes. You know how many people there are left? Two. So, they've got thirty minutes to showcase two people. Talk about time to kill...
8:31p... Siobhan Magnus comes up next...
8:37p... If you asked me to guess which song Siobhan Magnus would sing, I would guess "Across the Universe" or "I Am the Walrus"... something, anything, drug induced. I was right on the former.
8:37p... She tried the soft ballad last week, and it backfired, getting her some harsh criticism--the first for her--and almost putting her in tears. Tonight, she's going the ballad route again, and sitting atop a stool, hair curly and cool, dress flowing, she looks amazing. And sounds amazing.
8:38p... I would probably be more into it if I liked the song. Randy the Dawg says no one screams "artist" more than Siobhan, and though the song was little sleepy, he liked the tender softness of the song. Ellen DeG tells her to honor who she is. Kara the New Hotness says from a singing aspect, she did okay, but thought the song was retrained and polite. Simon the Cowell says last week was a disaster, but this week she came back stronger. None of the judges outright said they liked or didn't like the song, it was all about how different and great of an artist she is. When they say "Song wasn't as good, but I love you", its not a great thing.
8:43p... I could never prove this, but I wouldn't be shocked if the producers came to the judges after last week and said, "Hey, even if you don't like her song, you got to ease up on Siobhan. No harshness for her. We lose her, we got Bowersox and that's it. Don't you get Magnus voted off. Curse it all!"
8:45p... Lee Dewyze gets the pimp slot, and is up next.
8:49p... The show comes back from commercial, and shows Siobhan coming to the green room, about to cry. Producers yelling, "Cut away! Don't let them see her cry! She did awesome! We have to make sure people know she did awesome!" So they cut away quickly.
8:50p... Lee DeWyze on guitar, singing "Hey Jude". I figured someone would take this song on. His video clip showed his bro-mance with Andy Garcia, and C'Bosox comments, "They should get married and have little Danny Gokey babies." Ha!
8:51p... Can't help but like this guy, and can't help but think that Kris Allen is reborn with this guy... wasn't noticed much to begin with, had a breakthrough moment, and is building moment. And the bagpipe guy who just came down the stairs didn't hurt either.
8:53p... Randy the Dawg says it was a hot one for Lee. Ellen DeG tries to be funny concerning the bagpipes. Kara the New Hotness says it was good and bad, but she really likes him. Simon the Cowell laughs about the fact that this night contained both a diggerydoo and a bagpipe player... and he didn't like the bagpipes at all. Admittedly, it was kinda weird. I dug it, though.
8:56p... So here's how the show breaks down for the night... Casey James... Big Mike... Lee DeWyze... Crystal Bowersox... Tim Urban... Siobhan Magnus... Katie Stevens... Aaron Kelly... Andy Garcia
Tomorrow night! Results late, cause I'm at The Happiest Place!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
And now, we're back... time for some results. This will be quick, as usual, as we'll fast-forward through much of it, like the group song, the Ford commercial and the filler. The Lovely Steph Leann has the remote, so we may end up watching David Archuleta perform, or especially Rhianna. She loves her some Rhianna. (I'm just kidding--she couldn't pick Rhianna out of a lineup, nor could she tell you a single Rhianna song... she knows "Rhiannon", though)
Seacrest tells us that the producers has let us know there are "shocking results" tonight. MZ texted me earlier, asking "Do you want to know who gets kicked off? The judges might use their save tonight!", which of course tells me that its not Katie Stevens or Tim Urban in the bottom two. Darn you, MZ, darn you.
So, you know I dig me some Kara DioGuardi, but her outfit? Yeesh.
Fast forward through the group song
Fast forward through commercials
Fast forward through the Ford commercial
Let's get this thing started! Siobhan stands first. I personally think her front runner status is in real danger... almost like Andrew Garcia's front runner status way early in the year has slipped to her, and now her's is slipping to Lee DeWyze. Seacrest gets Siobhan Magnus to the center of the stage. (The Lovely Steph Leann groans, saying, "Oh, the group thing...")
Crystal Bowersox stands up. Seacrest directs her to stand by Siobhan at the center of the stage.
Katie Stevens stands up. After the vote... she is led to join the other two in the middle.
Siobhan, Crystal and Katie stand nervously in the middle of the stage. Seacrest tells C'Bosox to sit down, as she's safe. And after a fake out (Seacrest: I can tell you, Siobhan and Katie, one of you is safe... and the other is safe too...) they both take a seat.
Fast forward through commercials
Fast forward through Jason Derulo, whoever he is. I had to look on the iTunes store to not only see how is name is spelled, but also what song he's got out... its called, "In My Head". Never heard of it. We're so old.
Fast forward through commercials
The Lovely Steph Leann goes nuts on the remote, fast forwarding way too fast, right into David Archuleta. She rewinds, stopping on a Glee preview.
David Archuleta performs the song that gave him his breakthrough in Season 7, that being "Imagine". The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't fast forward.
Young Archie leaves the stage, waving, probably thinking "better you than me, suckas".
Seacrest tells us there will be two groups of three... nothing but guys left, so a dude is going home tonight. Lee DeWyze stands up. Seacrest sends him to the far side, stage right, of the stage.
I'm guessing all the guys are hoping they aren't in the group with Andy Garcia.
Big Mike stands up. He moves to the near side of the stage, stage left, closest to the couch. Casey James stands up. He heads over to Lee DeWyze's small group. Aaron Kelly stands up. He is directed to stand by Big Mike. So that leaves Tim Urban and Andy Garcia...
Tim Urban stands up. Seacrest sends him to Lee DeWyze and Casey James. This leaves Andrew Garcia, who will head to Aaron Kelly and Big Mike... I just announced my prediction--Big Mike or Aaron Kelly goes home.
As we figured, Tim Urban, Casey James and Lee DeWyze are safe. This leaves Big Mike, Andy Garcia and Aaron Kelly... Seacrest sends one of them back to safety... and that person is... Aaron Kelly.
So, if there are "shocking" results, that means Big Mike goes home. Cause Andy Garcia going home would not be a shocker. Both go sit in the Silver Stools of Shame.
Fast forward through commercials
Fast forward through Rhianna (though if she sang "I Hope You Dance", The Lovely Steph Leann would watch it, cause she loves that song)
Fast forward through more commercials
So now, who gets the boot? That would be................... Big Mike Lynche. Andrew Garcia stays on the show.
And the judges... wow... the judges use the save. The JUDGES USE THE SAVE... BIG MIKE IS COMING BACK...
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