Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Bucky Stops Here

Before we get to Idol, here's my big news... I GOT MY iPOD! Sixty gigabytes of pure technology, $399.99 worth of musical Heaven. Now, I just gotta figure out how to use the darn thing.

Okay, so I know who got punted. Bucky. Let me get this right... I make it known that I kinda like Lisa Turtle, and she gets voted off. I say that I'm in line, with my ticket, for the Elliott Yahmean bandwagon... and he ends up in the bottom three. I say "...I almost liked Bucky..." and he gets the boot. So... using this rationale... GO ACE!! GO ACE!!

I'm watching the show now, and they are doing a group song, a medley of Queen hits--remember, the show was themed with Queen songs this week. Behind, they are showing the footage of this season's auditions, and when they get to "Under Pressure" (you would know the riff--Vanilla Ice ripped it off for "Ice Ice Baby") they let Chris sing the lead. He rocks it. This is what he should have sung. Of course, then Bucky has to go an ruin it by existing.

When they get to clips of the dearly departed, including Mandisa & Chicken Little they sing... "Another One Bites the Dust". Natch.

Great Odin's Raven... they are doing the cheesy Ford commercial together, and they are singing Pat Benetar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot", a spot themed at a mini golf course... wearing horrendous clothes in it, its discovered that Steph's Man Ace with the Ace Hair picked the wardrobe. You know that scene (one of many) when Napoleon just shrugs and shouts "Gah... you're a friggin' idiot!". Yeah, that.

They are doing montages of the parents saying hello to thier proud Idols. Paris, who is 17, has a mom that looks 27. Daughtry's dad sounds like he rocked a little in his day. Elliott is crying (he is sitting next to Ace).

So, the Sports Guy has something called The Unintentional Comedy Scale, a rating of 1 to 100 on something isn't supposed to be funny, but definately is. Steven Seagal movies rank high on this scale. Anyway, I gotta say, Ace is ranking pretty high to me--he's wearing a muscle shirt, one of those workout shirts with no sleeves, that fit really snugly on the body. You know , the ones that were popular in, oh, 1989. He should be wearing Tyler Campbell's shirt that says "Get your tickets to the gun show", with arrows pointing at both upper arms.

Crap... I gotta sit through an hour of this. Next week, Rod Stewart will be working with the Idols--which is very cool. Rod gets cooler as the years go by, as he goes from a Shaun Cassidyesque former heartthrob to a Tony Bennettesque classic crooner.

They just showed a montage of Taylor's life back in Birmingham, including his bandmates. Ryan gives Taylor's fate--he's safe. My Girl McPhee, who looks pretty again, is up next. Here mom's name is Peisha, which means I'd have to make fun of her if I knew her. Daddy McPhee is crying on camera. Now, in the studio, My Girl McPhee is too. Ryan gives her fate--and she's safe. Daughtry's film is now. Daddy Daughtry says "I'm glad he's going after this... this is somethin' I'da wanna' ta dun..." He's from North Carolina, by the way. And he's safe.

Oh Pickles. Her grandfather is on camera now, with her little brother (both wearing Pick Pickler shirts, of course). If I had one of those, I'd wear it. She's tearing up, but is all smiles, as Ryan tells her she's safe. You know, I have to believe that when Ryan gets back to his apartment, and calls up his chick Teri Hatcher, when she says "So, how did the show go?"... he makes fun of Pickler. I firmly believe that.

So, this leaves Elliott Yahmean, Steph's Man Ace with the Ace Hair, Bucky... Bucky... and Paris on the couch, three of which will be in the bottom three. I just fast forwarded through his video, because frankly, I don't care that much. He's in the bottom three... and Ryan asked him to sing. Odd change of format... just fast forwarded through Ace's video as well... he wipes a tear away as Ryan calls him out for the bottom three. Paula is rambling--never before has anyone said so much to say so little... well, maybe John Kerry, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Chucky Schumer...

Obviously we know Bucky is in the bottom three, so I fast forward through his and Pari's videos because, again, frankly my dear, I just don't give a hoot. So, Ace, Elliott and Bucky are in the bottom three. And Bucky goes home.

Three things are a constant: They play "Bad Day" while showing the loser's "journey"... Paris will cry... and Ace Young will unconvincingly feign sorrow with a "glad it's you and not me" look on his face.

Alright... things I'm writing for posting in the near future: My iPod adventure... My Dream about Heaven... the Nic Cage Top Six... 1990-95: Best Music Ever?... and The Music of Billy Joel. We'll see how fast you get them.

I just turned off the VCR and on CMT is The Dukes of Hazzard... with Coy and Vance. Let me go before things get bad.

Oh, by the way, feel free to comment. Likes. Dislikes. Thoughts. Questions.

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