Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Bad Love Night... ***With Results***

Results at Bottom of Posting...

So, here we are with another American Idol... and its one of those themes I hate--all love songs. No specific era, no year to work with... just love songs.

I've read some reviews already about what transpired last night, and from what I gathered, its not pretty. Taylor goes down in flames, they don't like My Girl McPhee, Daughtry takes on Bryan Adams and Pickles... oh Pickles.

The guest celebrity musician helper person is Andrea Bocelli, which I found out is blind. Had no clue. The other one is David Foster, a super producer who was huge in the 80s (he wrote the theme to St. Elmo's Fire--yeah, you've heard it, even if you don't know it), and he's written tons of stuff for Whitney Houston and Celine Dion and the like. Anyway, Foster produced Bocelli's latest album, so naturally they come hand in hand.

David Foster says "If you can't cut it in my studio, you're gone". This should be good. An honest celebrity musician helper person.

Starting off is My Girl McPhee, singing Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing" from the Bodyguard soundtrack. I hate it when My Girl McPhee goes first... the first spot traditionally is a bad place to be. Once again... she looks incredible. The song is one my favorites from Whitney (great high school memory associated with that movie--see previous posting) and I think that My Girl McPhee is doing it justice. Its a big song.

Heard on the Rick & Bubba Show this morning:
Bubba (watching it back): Yep... they showed her dad crying again in the audience
Rick: Well, if my daughter's breasts were hanging out on stage for 30 million people to see, I'd be crying too.

Randy says he didn't like it. "You're talking about Whitney Houston in her prime, one of the best singers in the known world... you didn't come close." What?? What!?
Paula says something that doesnt make any sense, yet she didn't like the song. What?? What?!
Simon says "Very simple... by choosing that song, its like saying 'I'm as good as Whitney', and you're not." She's not as good as Whitney in Whitney's prime... few people were. But I thought My Girl McPhee was pretty doggone good.

I think Ryan just hit on her.

Its hard to know what Idol wants... first, they like it when you put your own style on things--but when you do, and do it well, as McPhee did, the judges want to know why it doesn't sound like Whitney. Its a no win situation.

Sidebar: Going back to the phrase "Whitney Houston's Prime", from the years 1987 to about 1995, Whitney was da bombdiggity. Even if you didn't like that style of music, even if you had no use for that flavor of R&B or whatever... you couldn't deny how good her voice was. From the beginning with "How Will I Know" to the end of her really good phase with the Bodyguard soundtrack, few voices compared.
My favorite six Whitney songs: 6) Run To You... 5) Saving All My Love For You... 4) You Give Good Love... 3) I Will Always Love You... 2) I Have Nothing... 1) I'm Your Baby Tonight

Elliott is next, and Ryan just used the term Yamenians to describe his fans. Holy crap... this episode of American Idol has official tanked already. He's singing "A Song for You" by Donny Hathaway, a song that I don't know that I'm familiar with.

Watching them practice with David Foster is cracking me up... Foster is kinda mean to them... he made Elliott sing the same line three times, telling him about the first two "What? That isn't going to get anyone excited."

I see Elliott Yahmean going the way of Clay Aiken--not the huge success that Clay had, but the style of music. As in, in two years, you'll hear the latest Elliott Yahmean song played on 94.5, or John Tesh's radio show, or Magic 96 in between their nine formats every hour.

No doubt he's got a great voice... but too bad this competition is about the whole package, not just the voice. One way to prove this contest is not rigged is to see Elliott in the finals, or to win the Idol championship--you know they are pushing one of the Big Four--Pickles, McPhee, Daughtry and Taylor.

Randy: "I hated the arrangement, but you sang great... sing it like Donny anytime, you were the bomb."
Paula: "You move me". She's crying. She's actually talking and blubbering and openly weeping.
Simon: "In parts [of the song], it was like a vocal masterclass... it was superb."

I thought it was just eeh.

Oh Pickles.

I read horrible things about her performance tonight, much like what happened last week. I think it was MSNBC that said it seems like Pickles is testing her fans to see how much she can get away with before they vote her off. Okay... so Ryan just asked Pickles if she had anyone special that she was dedicating her song to... Pickles says "Thanks for reminding me that I don't have a boyfriend and I'm lonely... you know "Ghost", the movie? (Ryan nods) I'm singing "Unchained Melody" (Pickles claps). You know that scene where they do the pottery thing? Isn't that sweet? Maybe I'll find someone to do pottery with like that."

I still like Kellie Pickler, desipte the fact she's an abosolute moron--but I can definately see why others don't. I can't even defend her anymore, so I'll stop trying.

She says she is going to be doing the Leann Rhime version of the Righteous Brothers version of "Unchained Melody", which--and I'm not a singer--has to be one of the hardest songs ever to sing. Watching her sing, however, I do know one thing--she needs to give her hairstylist a backhanded pimpslap with extreme prejudice. That bouffant thing in the front is unsightly.

Pickles is keeping the song alive, barley, as if she is only trying to get to the last note so she can impress American and redeem the song. And I'm not sure that she did it.

Randy: Pitch problems, the high note was okay... wasn't the right song.
Paula: Sunshine, happy, flowers, you didn't raise the bar, sunshine, flowers, daisies, I didn't feel the greatness, bunnies, babies, love
Simon: It was like the never ending song... so monotonous and so bland... no heart, no warmth... you were like a robot. (and the music cuts him off! Ryan explains they are running behind)

Cutting off Simon might have been good, though, before Simon had a chance to convince America that Pickles is falling apart. And they go straight to commerical, no banter with Pickles, no chance to let her make some stupid remark.

Oh Pickles.

Annoying Paris is up next... I wonder how she likes the fact that no one is talking about her at all... you got Taylor's Soul Patrol, Daughtry's rockin', Pickles being Pickles, My Girl McPhee's strong voice, and even Elliott's darkhorse status... but no one is talking about Paris at all. She's sining "The Way We Were" from Barbra "I Whine, I Sing but I Know All About What We Are Doing in Iraq Right Now, I'm a Lib, You Should Love Me, I'm the Best, My Songs All Sound the Same but Give Me Accolades ALWAYS" Streisand.

Paris is sporting the Donna Summer "Last Dance" 1978 hair flip tonight. Personally, she could do armpit farts to this tune, and it would improve on the original. In fact, I'd like to see that. I'd vote for Paris if she did 90 seconds of armpit noises... it would be taking a song, making it her own, adding her own style and all... but alas, she just sings. I used to have trouble because I didn't want to like Paris. Now? I could care less about her... is that even worse?

Randy: "I wasn't blown away... but I liked it."
Paula: "You might have over sang it, but I loved it"
Simon: "Good vocals, it sounds like you were trying to impersonate an older artist." What?? What?? And you dig on My Girl McPhee for NOT sounding or even trying to sound like Whitney Houston?

Taylor Hicks is next, and he's doing "Just Once" a classic 80s soul ballad from the 80s. Good song. David Foster and Andrea Bocelli both have said they love the song, and that Taylor has the potential to blow the audience away with it. Of course, having already read the review, the audience may have been blown away, but the judges were not.

Hearing him, the song is not doing it for me. I like the song, I am a big T-Hicks fan... but I'm just shaking my head, especially on this night.

Random Tori Spelling sighting! I loves me some Tori Spelling... I think I'm just addicted to her new show.

Okay, back to Taylor...

Randy says "Completely the wrong song for you."
Paula says "Fluff fluff fluff wasn't my favorite song fluff fluff fluff"
Simon says "That's what you hear in every hotel lounge across the country." You know, Simon is right--I wasn't wanting to use the word karaoke, but "lounge singer" is a good phrase to use.

And finally, Chris Daughtry, who is singing Bryan Adam's "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman." This was Dayla Ellison's favorite song in college... she was this chick from Dothan, one of the loudest girls I've ever known. She has four brothers, all older, which explains why she could bodyslam me in Hamil Hall. Where was I?

Okay, so David Foster says "Chris is great... if he delivers the performance of his life, he'll do amazing..." and they cut out the audio about one second before the video, so you get to see Foster mouth the word "...but...".

Admittedly, I like this song... its from "Don Juan DeMarco", the Johnny Depp film. However, its a sad reminder of how Bryan Adams rocked in the 80s ("Run To You"--not the same as Whitney's-- and "Cuts Like a Knife" and even "Heaven") but totally wussed out in the 90s ("Everything I Do, I Do it For You"--the Robin Hood song--and the dreadful "All For Love" with Sting and Rod Stewart, where they all officially lost their manhood). Anyway, Daughtry is doing okay with it.

Randy: "Love you, amazing"
Paula: "Fluff, sunny, Love You, fluff"
Simon: "Very good choice, very good song"

Who should be in the bottom three: Elliott, Paris, Pickles (gulp)
Who will be in the bottom three: Elliott, Pickles, Taylor

And during the show recap, the audio guy left some of the microphones on... you can hear indistinguishable chatter... Idol chatter?


And now, its time for the results... Ryan is looking chipper as ever... last night, over 47.5 million people voted... is this a good thing for our nation?

So, six are left, that being Daughtry, Pickles, Annoying Paris, Elliott Yahmean, Taylor and of course, My Girl McPhee. Wow... just heard something I've never heard:

Ryan: Simon, lots of calls to Fox about the judges, specifically about you... some are saying you were a bit unfair last night... how do you respond to that?
Simon: I think I was unfair to one person last night, and I'd 'd like to apologize because I dont think this person got the right appraisalwas judged too harshly. That would be Katharine. Sometimes playing it back you hear it differently.
Ryan: That was very classy
Simon: Well, when I heard it back, I realized we were a bit harsh
Randy (piping in): Yeah, a bit harsh

Of course, if my Girl McPhee gets voted off because people listened to Simon and the judges and voted that way, then this apology helps a whole lot, huh? Anyway, My Girl McPhee laughs and grins big, the Idols clap, McPhee's mom stands up clapping. Here comes the recap, and I'll just say this about My Girl McPhee... I told you so. Last week was better, but that was like asking OutKast to top "Hey Ya" the very next week. Paula's weepy meander is played back, while Pickles is replayed again.

Another Idol commercial... this time, to Blondie's "Call Me", and their all chasing a dog, while riding in a Ford. It ends with puppies. Who doesn't like puppies?

And introducing Andrea Bocelli and David Foster, from last night. They are singing, but I don't really care. I've tuned it out, pretty much.

Commercial is over... and here we go again. Let's get rid of Annoying Paris or Elliott Yahmean (Ryan used the term Yahmeanians last night... I'm stepping off the Elliott bandwagon for a minute, so as not to be called such things)

Hey, it's Lisa Turtle! She's plugging her O.C. appearance tomorrow. Ryan is breaking the 6 into three groups of 2... My Girl McPhee is going over to Group 1. Elliott Yahmean is up... and is going to the middle, starting Group 2. Pickles, who I think is in real danger this week, is up and starting Group 3. Annoying Paris is now going to join Pickles in Group 3. T-Hicks, who also could be in real danger this week, is up and going to join Elliott Yahmean in Group 2, putting Daughtry with McPhee in Group 1.

My Girl McPhee & Daughtry, Elliott Yahmean & Taylor and Pickles & Annoying Paris. Ryan is sending both Elliott & Taylor back to the couches... safe. So its McPhee, Paris, Pickles & Daughtry. Oh geez... I need a drink.

My guess is that Paris and Pickles are in the bottom two. And I'm guessing Pickles is finally done.

Just saw a commercial saying "WBRC Fox 6 is proud to be awarded the Associated Press Award for Alabama's best News". After working at NBC for almost 2 years and learning what I know about Fox, I'll tell you... I find that funny.

And we're back. Yahmean and Taylor are safe... Ryan just told us that Daughtry and My Girl McPhee are not only safe, but got the highest number of votes. WWWHHHHEEEEWWWWWWW......

Paula just basically said it should be Pickles going home, in her own fluffy way. Ryan is now sending Pickles home. Annoying Paris is safe... and here is the video of her "journey"... and here comes the "Bad Day" song, only its not Daniel Powter singing. Weird.

I like me some Kellie Pickler, who just said "I'm glad ot have been here, though I won't be here much longer... I know commercials are coming!" Anyway, she just did crappy too many times in a row. Seriously, though... I'd be willing to buy a Pickles cd, when (not "if", but "when") it comes out.

So now, I can say: MAC - FEE!! MAC - FEE!! MAC - FEE!!


  1. another thing about paris...she has absolutely no hope of winning. look at the, um, "pattern" of the winners, if you get what i'm saying.

    kelly clarkson
    ruben studdard
    fantastic burrito
    carrie underwood

    after the burrito won season three, which i think is unquestionably the worst yet, i was very leary of even watching season four, which turned out to be one of the best. but still. if paris wins this year, it will kill interest. nobody will care.

  2. Or, if you want to be politically incorrect, you can say the "pattern" of winners is:
    Cute White Pop Female
    Big Soulful Black Male
    Hard Luck Story Black Female
    Cute White Country Female

    So, we'll see if we have Cute White Pop Female II or White Male Rocker Dude this time around... but finally, we have a finals that will actually be interesting, because they can all sing. No Jasmaine Trias, no Diana DeGarmo, no John Stevens.

  3. actually, if you want to go a step further than that, which is what i was getting at, then you can say:
    white girl
    black guy
    black girl
    white girl

    which demographic is not represented? heads up eliot, taylor, and chris!


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