Friday, February 03, 2006

The Super Bowl XL Diary

Note: Even though what you read was typed pretty much as it happened, I have gone back and added various links from this site. Nothing else has been edited.

Oh, and real quick... The Sports Guy's own running Super Bowl Diary is right here. Yes, its funnier than mine, but hey, I think I have my moments. Mos Def aside, that is.

2:06pm... Just got home from lunch with The Lovely Steph Leann, plus two others in our Sunday School class, Brian & Jessica Mays. We ate at Formosa. Turned on ABC, it reminded me of the Rolling Stones performing at halftime tonight. Excuse me while I poke out my eyes with a sharp turkey baster.

5:11pm... Got here at the Nipps a little while ago... just saw the procession of Super Bowl MVPs... they were missing some.

5:12pm... Aaron Neville is singing the Star Spangled Banner. I watched "Philadelphia" yesterday. I think Aaron has Tom Hanks' leisions on his face. Now Aretha Franklin is singing. Wookiee said "It looks like someone is baking loaves of bread in her dress."

5:13pm... Aretha just ate the microphone. Mikey just said "this is the worst opening of any Super Bowl." Wookiee added "how many chincillas died to make that coat?"

5:19pm... Harrison Ford is doing "Oh the Places You Go" with a football theme. I can barely hear it over the noise in the room, yet I have the urge to set my hair on fire with a stick and some flint, a la Survivor.

5:29pm... Typing in scores that everyone is picking, so I missed not only the coin toss (why the heck was Tom Brady there??), I missed the kickoff. Most people here are rooting for Seattle, mostly because of Shaun Alexander. I hope he stays with Seattle next year, and doesnt take the paycheck.

5:33... Bud Light does another hilarious commercial--the Bud Light around the office.
The Whopperettes? Not so much. That King creeps me out. And Brooke Burke is standing IN a hamburger.

5:35... Okay... Seattle punted, Pittsburgh has the ball. Ben Roethoelesothis Burger behind center. And we have our first Tautaupauapu sighting (dad Mosi). Wookiee says the best thing about Jerome Bettis--"When its 3rd and 3, he gets you 3 yards. When its 3rd and 15... he gets you 3 yards."

5:40... Magic Fridge. Magic Fridge. Good stuff.

5:40... Bruce Willis' new movie... DieHard 4: 16 Blocked Hostage, Deep Rising with the Last Boy Jackel. My Sixth Sense is telling me I've seen this before. Sean Hall just walked in with a shirt that says "Big Daddy". I think I will laugh at him now.

5:48... Josh is keeping a running tab on Bud Light's bill. At 2.4 a pop, we're up to 9 million dollars. FedEx may be my favorite so far. Only cause he kicked the dinosaur. Thats funny.

5:55... Hasselback just tossed a TD... called back. Come on Blue... let them play!! The same guy reffed the Vandy/Florida game. Seattle got a field goal. 3-0 Seattle. According to Josh, Bud Light is up to 11.5 million. Paula Mackey won the first quarter prize in our score game.

6:10... Suzy Kolber has something coming out of her head. Its weird. Joe Jurevicius is rocking tonight too. Bud Light just went up to $14.0. In a Brokeback Animals commercial, of all things.
6:17pm... When monkeys and Quiet Riot are in an ad together... comedy gold. And Cadillac has an Escalade commercial with a bunch of models in it. Mikey yelled "Blue Steel!". I replied "Magnum!". In a related story, Ben just tossed it for it all... and Seattle's Boulware caught it. Seattle is going to win this game.

6:21pm... MI-3. I am all about seeing Philip Seymour Hoffman as a bad guy. P.S.Hoff rocks. Sybil and Dan just came in. Did you know that Dove now has the Dove Self Esteem Fund? Orlando Jones Sighting!! We have just had an Orlando Jones sighting!! ABC's "The Evidence", with Orlando and the guy from Silk Stockings.

6:28pm... Antwan Randle-El just got hurt. And Berman is narrating a Shaggy Dog commercial. Do you think he likes doing that, or his bosses make him? When does he have enough clout to not do crap like this? If Berman isn't exempt, none of them have it... and Kermit is in a Ford commercial. One about global warming and hybrids. Kermit has been sucked into the liberal view. I will now play in traffic.

6:30pm... Big Ben tossed one of those "you make it, you look cool, you miss it, you look like a 'tard" passes to Hines Ward. Ken Nipp pointed out, "Where's Bettis?" Guess they don't need three yards just yet. Benny tossed another long pass, they are taking it down the field. Don't you know that he's so happy he's not with the Jets? Can you imagine the Elton John jokes he'd get, like, all the freakin' time?

6:34... Ben just had approximately 32 minutes to throw the ball--but he got the ball to the five. Mikey just predicted they'd put the Bus in for the TD... and here's a Go Daddy ad. Back to the game, the Seahawks are holding the Steelers from scoring. Who knew they could play ball? Earl asked a great question... "Do we need another "Poseidon?"

6:41pm... Got a TD in. Controversial play, but the ball did in fact break the plane. Just went downstairs and had a piece of Sybil's frozen icebox lemon pie. It rocked my face off.

6:50pm... Hass tossed a TD... but the guy was out of bounds. The refs are going to review it. Came back. Seattle is moving this ball... for Pittsburgh, defense schmefense. This game is moving fast too... Earl says "Dont they know they have Grey's Anatomy coming on? Lets go with this!"

6:53pm... Seattle's FG kicker just pulled a Scott Norwood and shanked the ball wide. Pittsburgh kneels for the second quarter's end. Tommy takes the $20 Best Buy card. They just had Cower in an interview... you know he had three daughters? Man, I hope they take after their mom, whoever she is. And Holmgren is pretty ticked off at the refs... he just gave Suzy Kolber the shaft. And here comes the Rolling Stones during halftime. Whoopee. I don't know that I could be any more excited.

Now that its halftime, let me just say this about the ads... there is an awful lot of violence in these commercials.. I've seen dinosaurs being kicked, women being tackled, punches, kicks, and just now, a cell phone tossed twice at a guys face. Very violent. Funny as crap, but violent.

Desperate Housewives commercials are all over the screen too. Oh, here's another one with some guy getting nailed by his son in a swing.

7:01pm... The Stones are setting up--Jimmy just said "I hope Mick Jaggar doesn't have a wardrobe malfunction." Michael Irvin is doing game review on halftime... which leads to a great room discussion on Irvin's drug bust and DUI a few months ago, and how ESPN suspended him for one whole week. Almost ruined his career, that did.

7:06pm... Oh, so this commercial for "Lost" just came on. When Eko and Locke started the film about Dharma, instead you see Robert Palmer singing "Addicted to Love", though they changed the "Love" part to "Lost". Naturally.

The Stones are playing now... Sybil says "I'm not so sure Jaggar doesnt look better now than he did a few years ago." He sounds awful. Jimmy says "Take all their ages, combine them... you get more than the total age of Europe". Earl just sang along... "you stop me up..." I'm not convinced Keith Richards isn't actually dead, and they are doing a Weekend at Bernies and propping him up. Earl called for Driveshaft.

Michael pointed out the proverbial roof-dropping stuff when the sashes dropped from the ceiling. I never thought I'd think this, but I miss Britney and Aerosmith. Jason said he thought he just saw some woman throwing their depends on the stage.

Makes me wonder if Carly Simon and Mick Jaggar just pass their lips back and forth. Earl said that they've never been seen together. Its plausible. I think he's scanning the crowd to see how many of the audience are his own kids.

We are now all discussing the best ways to kill ourselves with a hot metal spatula.

Jimmy: Keith Richards should have died at 41.
Earl: He embalmed himself.
Michael: Is that Michael McDonald on keyboards?

Man... its over.... thank goodness thats over. The chick on the Belk commercial is pretty hot. And for some reason, I'm strangely attracted to Sandra Oh... maybe I should like Lucy Liu as my favorite Asian chick, but Sandra just has something going on. And we've just had a Sean Hall Big Daddy sighting upstairs.

Michael: I think Jerome Bettis gets bigger everytime they show him.
Ken Nipp: He had lunch.

7:32pm... Willie Parker just busted WIDE open for a TD. Earl said "are they going to review this?" Someone asked if that was Bettis, to which Jason replied "He'd have an asthma attack before he got there."

7:35pm... ABC keeps showing Lost promos, which makes Earl and Jimmy wince--they have only seen Season One. And we just found out that Willie Parker made the longest running play--75 yards--in Super Bowl History.

7:37pm... Random room discussion on Mos Def, the pronunciation of his name and his recent movies.

7:38pm... This just in... Shaun Alexander IS actually in the game. Jonathan Marbutt just pointed out that the dead guy on the ice in "Fargo" is Prince. And the Seahawks just missed another field goal. Score: Pittsburgh 14, Seattle 3

7:43... Holy crap. Fabio. We just saw Fabio in a Super Bowl XL commercial. Very funny junk.

7:47pm... Michael observed the obvious. Seattle is falling apart. Pittsburgh is getting the ball down the field, with Hines Ward and now the Bus have gained some major yardage.

7:50pm... That Hummer commercial. Its good to see Aretha Franklin and the Iron Giant still have careers.

7:52pm... SEATTLE GOT THE INT!! Herndon took it down the field, but ran out of steam towards the end. The awesome block on Big Ben was the best though... classic. Now they are trying to get the ball in the end zone. And...

7:53pm... Seattle score. Wookiee just went Wookiee Berserker. Pittsburgh 14, Seattle 10. And in ads, when you add Spandau Ballet, Taco Bell and a hot chick, you get a great commercial.

8:07pm... Pittsburgh just punted the ball down to the four yard line. Seattle is going to have it work cut out for them.

8:09pm... Just observed Roethlisburger's name on the shirt. I mentioned that the chick that sewed those letters on his jersey probably got overtime. Michael replied that Hasselbeck is worth more in Scrabble, because of the C and K on the end.

8:11pm... We are watching the game on the fifty inch upstairs. Downstairs is the smaller tv, albeit in HD. In the basement is DDR--Dance Dance Revolution--for the people who don't care about the game. Out in the hall is Ashley, Amy, Jennifer and a few others playing Uno.

8:17pm... Toyota Tacoma commercial. Price is $15,445. As shown? $31K and some change. Jason says "What do you mean you want a steering wheel with your truck?"

8:20pm... Random exchange:
Jason: Does anyone watch The Shield?
Michael: They had Glenn Close, but they got rid of her. I heard Anthony Anderson was really good last year.
Me: I heard he got snubbed at the Golden Globes
Michael: He might have won if he didn't rape that girl.
Me: All he had to do was score 81 points in a NBA game and no one would remember it.

8:22pm... Hass just tossed an interception. Ty just left. He said "I have a long week." I understand. Mine is seven days long.

8:28pm... Big Ben just tossed the smack out of that ball. Antwan Randel-Els caught it. Pittsburgh 20-10. Someone mentioned Kordell Stewart. Thought he was dead.

8:29pm... Just saw Richard Dean Anderson in a classic MacGyver commercial for Mastercard. Could be my favorite commercial of the night... random thought. If I go see Brokeback Mountain, no matter how bad I have to go to the bathroom, I will NOT go after that movie with all those guys who are coming out of the theater. Standing at a urinal might never be as uncomfortable.

8:30pm... Hass just had a great run. AND THEN FUMBLED THE FLIPPIN' BALL!!!! Pittsburgh gets it. They are reviewing the play now... this is pretty big at this point.

8:35pm... Yosemite Sam in a borderline-porn commercial for a truck. Actually it was kinda funny.

8:36pm... Seattle gets the ball back, because Hasselbeck was down by contact. So the lesson here is, When you are in the Super Bowl, HOLD ONTO THE FREAKIN' BALL!!!!!!!!!!!! Class dismissed.

8:37pm... Madden is giving us math lessons. What the crap is he talking about? "Here's a guy that when is helmet is knocked off, he's bare headed."

8:39pm... Jennifer Adams just left. I forgot how borderline hot she is. Hasselbeck just got taken down, so Seattle gives the ball back. Six minutes and some change, Pittsburgh leads 21-10.

8:43pm... I think Bettis just called out for some fried chicken.

8:46pm... The ref just pulled a Brokeback on one of the players. Why cain't I quit you? Pittsburgh just got a "monster first down", according to Al Michaels.

8:47pm... Random discussion on "Havoc" and "Brokeback Mountain" parts with Anne Hathaway, who was Princess Mia in The Princess Diaries movies. She got naked in both. No comment.

8:49pm... Jerome Bettis, Motivational Speaker. They showed him, mic'ed up, giving the guys the rah-rah. Big Ben Rotheleistheilisberger got another first down. Looks like this might just be it. Sgt Slaught... er, Bill Cower is pretty excited. Seattle used their final timeout. Three and some change left, the only time the clock will stop now is the 2 minute warning.

8:53pm... Random Matthew Lillard sighting in the stands. Seattle has the ball back with 2:04 left. They are down 11 points. This could be a pretty good ending, provided that Hasselbeck doesn't goob it up.

8:55pm... 1:51, no time outs, Seattle has the ball on the 20. Matt Hass is tossing in the middle, which is bad, because the clock is running like a beast. And Joe Jurevicius just caught a massive pass, rolled over a guy and kept running. That rocked. 1 minute left.

8:57pm... Two crappy passes from Hass. Seattle has to try the FG, then hope the onside kick works later.

9pm... Three seconds. Game over. Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 10. Jerome Bettis has come home to win the Super Bowl, in case you haven't heard that angle lately. Bill Cower, who has been coaching for 143 years, has won the gauntlet of the NFL and won the championship. Pittsburgh now joins Dallas and San Francisco as the only team with five Super Bowl wins in franchise history.

9:04pm... According to Josh, Bud Light spent 19 million on commercials this year. Paula Mackey, Tommy McLeod, The Lovely Steph Leann and Mikey Nipp walk away with the gift card prizes.

9:07pm... my blog counter was at 74 this afternoon. Don't think I haven't noticed some of you people have been looking at my blog site. Its at 95 now. You people rock.

9:11pm... Trophy presentations now. Bart Starr is presenting the Vince Lombardi Trophy to Slaughter and the Steelers. Daniel Rooney, the really old guy, looks bored. I mean, he won five now (four in the 70s) as owner of the Steelers. He doesnt care.

9:13pm... Hines Ward wins the Super Bowl MVP now. I'm shocked they dont give it to Bettis, because he's a hometown boy, he's been playing for so long, and he's such a good guy. Mackey just said "The Bus is up there. He must be getting a Bus Trophy."

9:14pm... Jerome Bettis just retired on the podium. I wonder if they call his kid The Short Bus.

9:20pm... They are showing the Sports Illustrated special Pittsburgh Championship Pack. I'd give anything for them to accidentally show the Seattle Championship Pack commercial I know they had to make (in case Seattle won).

9:22pm... So thats Super Bowl XL. I hope you enjoyed the blog, I hope you liked the updates. We'll do this running diary gimmack for The Oscars in March. See you soon!


  1. I didn't get it. I have been watching Superbowls and Super Bowl Ads cognatively for over 20 years and this year, as far as the commercials go, has to be the absolute worst ever!

    Am I the only one?

  2. It was very strange. You didnt hear a lot of hype for the commercials like years past--sometimes in previous years, I'd read entire articles about the money spent and all the new ads to watch for... not this year. I did enjoy a few of them, but mostly it was just ho-hum.
    However, I did enjoy the game. It was actually better than I thought it would be.

  3. Yeah, as a whole the commercials were a let down. But there were a few that cracked me up.

  4. Who cares if Kermit went liberal besides he works for DisneyJobs what do you expect. The fact he was going down a river in a kayak was hilarious to me.


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