Wednesday, November 30, 2016

to campbell, on your 5th birthday

Dear Campbell,

You LOVE to swing. Actually, you just love to play
outdoors, swinging or not. You love to bring your shoes
to me, hoping to get them on so we can go out--even
if its bedtime, you'd still rather go out and play.
You are five years old.  FIVE YEARS OLD.  That means for 5 years, you have been a part of our lives... born two weeks early in 2011, though I guess I could say you've been a part of our lives for even longer.  Your mom carried you for 8 1/2 months, and we prayed for you, hoped for you, couldn't wait to meet who you'd be even before you were even conceived.

And we can't imagine life without you.

Okay, we maybe could, as we'd probably go to the movies more, and probably to Disney World a lot more... but what fun would that be?  You make our lives... interesting.  And joyous. And full.

So, let's talk about your year so far... frankly, my favorite movie so far as been "Arrival", starring your dad's main Hollywood squeeze Amy Adams (don't tell mom), but "Magnificent Seven" was also pretty great, as was "Doctor Strange" and "Zootopia" and "Captain America Civil War".  Who knows how many Marvel movies will be around by the time you read this.

Your dad's mancrush, The Rock, also had a movie called "Central Intelligence" and became the Sexiest Man Alive, according to People Magazine.  I think I was a finalist, but they didn't call me like I thought they would.

For music... really, who knows. Seriously, kid, I stay stuck on 90s nostalgia.  There is a group called The Chainsmokers, but that name just weirds me out so I don't listen to them, really.

On TV, we started watching a few shows like "Designated Survivor" and "This Is Us" and "Westworld" but the gem of the year is called "Speechless".  Its a family with a handicapped, special needs son, its a comedy and its wonderful.  I'm sure we woke you up from laughing... sorry about that.

Speaking of sleeping... you finally got to your big boy bed!  It was fiasco getting the bed together with the mattress, but your mom and I can finally stretch out in our own bed -- especially since when you slept with us, you tended to toss your arms and legs all over the bed. And us.  You are still working on it though... you still wake up sometimes at 5a... or 630a... or 2a... you crawl out of bed in the dark, go around the rails on your bed, then run down the hall to our room.  Thankfully, you stopped turning the lights on, but still, you do scare Mom when you get right in her face.  I randomly wake up during the night and there you are, your knee in my back.  If I didn't love you so much, you'd sleep on the porch.

At the last minute, your mom managed to get you a
Jake & the Neverland Pirates costume. You might be
the cutest pirate ever.
I gotta tell ya, kid, you are leaping and bounding in the milestone department.  You probably didn't notice how dusty it was in the house on the day you finally called me "Daddy" and not "Gaga".  Well, truthfully, its a combo of "daddy" and "daggy" and "gaggy", but it's almost perfect.  And when you look at me and yell "DAGGGYY!!!", I can barley stand the love.  Heart explode and all that such stuff.

You know how to spell your name now, Campbell!  There you were, staring at a plaque that your Aunt Brynn & Uncle Tyler got you for Christmas, and you just started spelling...

"CEE!! AH!!! AHMM!  PEEE!! BEEE!!!! AH!!! EHH!! EHH!!"

...and it was incredible.  I thought your mom and I were going to literally scream with joy.  Your other big word is

"CAT"... "CEE!!  AHH!  TEEE!" and then you yell "CAT!".

And let me tell ya, you spell the heck out of those words all day long.  And we love it.  Heck, sometimes when we aren't even paying attention, you break out into the ABC song! (you do struggle from letters K through P, but you get a pass. For now.)

Some of your favorite toys so far this year were empty egg crates (you love opening and closing them)... your numerous iPhone and iPod products you have (thanks to our friends Rachel and Mark and Bill and others)... various musical toys you have had for years now... and of course, your spelling games on your iPad.

You finally learned the potty!  This past May was an insane weekend, but with your amazing Mom taking the lead, we were able to train you to actually pee in the potty (okay, we help you aim, but still)... and you definitely know how to sit on the seat and unload.  Man, can you drop in that bowl... whew.  I'm hoping when you read this, you'll have learned how to identify your need for the bathroom without just dropping trou in the living room and letting us lead you to the bathroom. One day you'll get it that you can go faster if you pull your pants down while at the toilet than doing it in another room and shuffling there.  Just sayin'. We'll get there.

There is a local place here called Let's Play -- I can only guess it'll be around when you are reading this, and I'm sure we'll go many more times. I bring that up because it was a thrill to watch you conquer your fears... you did the ropes course there all on your own.  I mean, its a small one, lots of pedestals and ropes and bridges and tunnels, with a big net under it, but it was amazing to watch you run up to the steps, climb up, climb down, up and down and back up, then go on the little platform, then back and over and over and over... and slowly start easing your way through the course.  And I watched you from a bench, I didn't help you do any of it.  You did it all on your own, kid, and it was incredible.  You did the same with the big bounce slide thing and the other bouncy inflatable thing... if only we could get you to conquer that fear of the vacuum or the shredder or the hair dryer when they are turned on.

Here is your mom and you at a Kulture City event
last spring. You are adorable. So is she. 
Campbell, your eye contact is great, and you look at people when you say some words. You know your colors, you know many of your letters, you can do many things on your own now and I know hearing you actually say sentences is not too far away.  Mitchell's Place, your school, is doing so much for you, and Ms Kia and Ms Alison love you so much and are doing wonderful things with you!  And Kulture City took us to the zoo for an event, and though you weren't keen on a giraffe licking your hand (who is?), I know you love the animals.

This is a total cliche, but I will say it... Campbell, you may have autism, but it does not have you.  I feel like you tell Autism to "Suck it" every day, in your own way.  We'll help you keep it up.

Campbell Isaiah, you are so, so loved by so many people. Your family, your friends, our friends, even people who haven't met you in person ask about you and follow along in your pictures online.

Finally, I wanted to mention this election year.  We had two candidates -- Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump -- and Trump won.  This country is crazy right now, with all sides yelling at each other, people hating on each other because of gender or skin color or religion and all that.  I'm glad you don't understand any of this right now. Your world ends when we refuse to shuffle the cards for you (because we are trying to have dinner, so please just watch Elena of Avalor or PJ Masks til we are done... please?) and this is the only kind of oppression we hope you deal with for a long time.

Right now, you know nothing of color or religion or anything of the sort. All you see are people. All you see are hugs and smiles and maybe hands with phones in them that you can try to grab, but I want you to be this way for a long time. You are affectionate and love everyone right now. Even people who take your toys or snap at you... you forget the wrong nearly immediately.  You won't always be able to be this way... but stay this was as long as you can.

Keep loving people, Campbell.  Your mom and I want to do our best to make sure you are grounded in God's Truth and the love of Jesus, but more than anything, I want you to love God... and love other people.  And we can sort the rest out as we go.

I love you, son.


(last year's letter for Campbell's 4th birthday, with links to previous letters)  

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