Thursday, April 07, 2011

The Idols Countroul Gently Weeps

It's late!  I just got in on Wednesday night, from The Deucecast Studios after recording the first episode of The Deucecast Podcast... check out and hear our "negative one" show, our pre-show that is, and our first episode, The Podcast Menace. 

But now, its American Idol!  I just started the show, just sat down with the laptop and keyboard, and am ready to hear some music from The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame! 


We get a little video showing us Cleveland's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and some of the features and exhibits, as well as the hall of fame history,  And then, our Idols come out, ready to give some Halla-Fame performances.

And we have a celebrity mentor this week, or two, with Jimmy Iovine.  Gwen Stefani and Will.I.Am are here to help out. 

At first, The Soulful Jacob Lusk is going to sing "Let's Get It On", but instead heads to Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror"... he tells us, "If I'm in the bottom three, it wont be because I sang it bad, it will be because America didn't want to look in the mirror."  This message of guilt and shame brought to you from The Soulful Jacob Lusk.

His backup singer gets close on part of the song, and she literally looks like she doesn't have hair until halfway back on her head.  She apparently doesn't have a mirror.  Ah, its Siedah Garrett, the co-writer of that song... doesn't change the fact her hair is only half there.

Uncle Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo gives an inspiration message.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  I thought it was pretty good as well.

Haley Reinhart, who I found out tonight that Cindy Jo can't stand, is doing Janis Joplin's "A Piece of My Heart".  This song is perfect for her raspy voice that I dig. 

(full disclosure... after recording The Deucecast Episode I: The Podcast Menace last night, I didn't get home until close to midnight, so by the time Haley Reinhart took the stage, I was drifting off... smashcut to 130 Thursday afternoon, and I finally fire up the DVR, and watch Haley Reinhart.)


J-Lo loves it.  Randy the Dawg thought it was cool, and "this is the Haley we love!"  Crazy Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler loves the Janis Joplin sound.  I digress.

Seacrusty asks us to vote on a song contest done by Idol and Taio Cruze, but all I can think of is "This Is My Now", the horrific song writing contest winner from some seasons ago.

The Saved Casey A is practicing The Police in front of Will.I.Am and Jimmy Iovine, and ends up changing his song to "Have You Ever Seen the Rain" by Creedance Clearwater Revival.  Good, good choice, because standing there with his upright bass, it sounds fantastic.   Problem is, since he took risks early on, and ended up in the Bottom Three, he's been a little too safe... he'll have to take more risks if he wants to win this thing.

Randy the Dawg says Casey A made CCR proud, and is making the upright bass cool again.  Steven Tyler agrees, calling him a "true musician".  J-Lo loved it.

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is doing to be doing "Natural Woman (you make me feel)" by Aretha Franklin.  Will.I.Am tells her to use control, and its spelled C-O-U-N-T-R-O-U-L.  Leave it to a southerner to make a 2 syllable word into a 7 syllable word. 

Speaking of southern, how do you Alabama fans feel that Miss Georgia Girl is wearing Bear Bryant's houndstooth hat as a tiny pair of shorts... I say "tiny" because they are short--they aren't tiny in size, cause she's a cutie patootie, but she's got junk in dat trunk.   And I'm typing all of this while she sings because while she has countroul, its kinda boring.

Christian Slater in the audience!  Seacrusty comments on how much Christian Slater liked it... he cheers.  He could care less about the song, it was the boobies.  Dude, those are underage boobies.  Settle down.

Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it. 

Back from break, Seacrusty banters with the judges, before introducing The Straight Adam Lambert who is going to take a chance, after rocking out for three weeks in a row.  Its a ballad called "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" from George Harrison (I like how he adds in "George Harrison, from The Beatles"... you should know that.  If you don't, then either a, you are under 16 or b, you don't listen to music, ever, or c, both.)

Ya know, its not a good vocally as America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's take on Aretha, but I actually am enjoying this more.  Even the screech in the end was countrouled enough to sound good, and he wipes his eyes after the song is over.  Good job, The Straight Adam Lambert.

J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg is pretty much the only judge who gives actual, good feedback, and he liked it.  Steven Tyler loved it.  Nothing new here.

And rock stuff is always harder for those who are defined country, but Deep Voiced Scotty is taking a chance on The King of Rock and Roll... no, not Nickelback... Elvis Presley.  He's doing "It's Alright Mama".  Will.I.Am tells him, "When you take country and rock together, you get... well, country rock..."  Its good that Will.I.Am is here to help us out. 

Head to toe denim, Deep Voiced Scotty is.. well, he's awesome.  And he looks like he's having a blast up there, playing to the camera, moving around, and coming dangerously close to doing a D-X crotch chop from the WWE.   And somehow, there are seven girls that are allowed to run up on stage and mob Deep Voiced Scotty. 

Randy the Dawg gives his patented, "HE IS IN IT TO WIN IT!  WHAT'S GOING ON?!"  Steven Tyler loved him, making some compliment involving cattle.  J-Lo tells him how much fun it was to watch him, and loved it. 

Because Fox would never do something like cross-promote their products, it is unusual to see Seacrusty talking to Christian Slater, discussing the 7,387th new show starring Slater, "Breaking In", coming up next on Fox!

I think she's cute... but like, beautiful?  Or
hot?  Not for me.  I compare her to Celine
Dion, who I also think is pretty, but not
Peepee Tuscany is apparently beautiful.  Cindy Jo has told me so.  Melanie has told me so.  Everyone tells me so.  I just don't see it.  She's cute, but I'd classify her as "elegant" and even "regal", not beautiful.  Maybe one goes with the others, I dunno.

She's singing "River Deep Mountain High" from Tina Turner, who is a diva that some people forget about... we always remember "What's Love Got to Do With It", but take it back to Ike days, in the 60s and 70s, and holy crap, Tina Turner was insane good. 

In what looks like 19 inch heels, she descends the stairs and sings to the judges, then the audience.  And in the funniest paragraph I've read all day, Annie Barrett from writes this about J-Lo's bouncing up and down:

J. Lo was bouncing up and down in her chair like a child who's just been told she'll never have to wear an unflattering L.A.M.B. belted romper like the scary singing Bumpit lady as long as she is still breathing glitter into this little thing we call life. But you can't even tell. Just trust me that "the girls" were definitely on the upswing in this shot, but because of her supportive bra, nothing drastic happened and Steven and Randy were able to continue their naps in total peace.

By the way... she was great.  Peepee was fantastic tonight. 

Steven Tyler calls her a "murderer" because she killed it!  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg called her ubertalented.  Then says, "Yo!  Peepee's IN IT TO WIN IT!" which must make Deep Voiced Scotty a little disappointed, cause he thought that HE was in it to win it. 

Stefano Italiano takes a huge risk by doing a rock song, and... wait, what?  He's doing a ballad?  "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Percy Sledge?  For my money, there's nothing better than when Michael Bolton sings "When a Man Loves a Woman".  I celebrate his entire catalogue. 

Other than a strong, strong note he nails in the middle of the song, there is nothing really special about this song. 

J-Lo loved it, describing her goose pimples she seems to keep getting.  Maybe she needs some Noxema.  No, the cream, not the nuts chick that got the boot last week.  Randy the Dawg said it was a little jerky, and J-Lo yells, "Your crazy!"  Steven Tyler loved it.

And finally, Pauly Mac is busting out with Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues".  Jimmy Iovine tells him that he needs to, "Sing out of your f$*#&)g mind."   Okay, it sounds great.  But here's what it makes me think... The Lovely Steph Leann and I are sitting at a small table in a coffeehouse, she's drinking tea and I'm playing Angry Birds, while the talented guitar player is on stage, with about 17 of his fans, friends and family in the front row, the rest of us just enjoying the background noise of good music.  And he sings something soft like "Collide" by Howie Day, then to pick the mood up, he does this song, a Cash cover. 

That's what Pauly Mac makes me think.

And because he went last, THIS is the song people will remember, unless they think of HALEY'S SONG SHE DID. 

And in a surprise, Steven Tyler loved it.  And in a shocker, J-Lo loved it.  Yep, you guessed it, Randy the Dawg loved it too.

Here's my favorites of the night... Peepee Tuscany... Deep Voiced Scotty... The Straight Adam Lambert... The Saved Casey A... America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... Pauly Mac... Haley Reinhart... The Soulful Jacob Lusk... Stefano Italiano.

I think that Deep Voiced Scotty, The Straight Adam Lambert, The Saved Casey A and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina are safe.
I think Peepee Tuscany and The Soulful Jacob Lusk are on the border.
And I think that Haley Reinhart, Pauly Mac and Stefano Italiano are in trouble, with Stefano getting out. 

While my blog gently weeps.


Well, that'll teach me to look at Facebook before I watch the DVR'd results show.  The Lovely Steph Leann was in Hot-Lanta last night, so she didn't see Idol's performances.  At this very second, she's watching it, and is about to watch Pauly Mac, which means in about 15 minutes, we'll be zooming through the results.  And one quick glance at Facebook tells me... Peepee Tuscany said goodbye.  Thanks to Kel-Fish and a number of others, there's your answer.  Sigh.

And of course, she was my favorite of the night.  Since I watched it earlier today, thats the only one that stuck in my head... " I love ya, my oh my..." and of course, she got the boot.  Of course.

So, we start the show, and The Lovely Steph Leann has the remote.  Thankfully, she knows the rules of fast forwarding, so in the 30-second skip, we only catch a snippet of the group song, and then we skip through the Ford video, and through an appearance by Russell Brand.

Now, the results, dim the lights!  The Saved Casey A, Stefano Italiano and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina all make the walk from the Comfort Couch to center stage.  The Silver Stools of Suck are mere feet away.

After the nationwide vote, America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... is safe, and heads to the Couch of Comfort.  Leaving The Saved Casey A and Stefano Italiano, where two weeks ago both were in the same position, leading to Casey A being booted, then getting The Judges Save.  This time, however, its Stefano Italiano that heads to The Silver Stools of Suck.

As we are fast forwarding, we end up with some long haired dude singing... we try to figure out who he is, until he lifts his head, and its Constantine! 

We see a video where Gwen Stefani is helping to give some fashion and hair assistance, which we fast forward.

Pauly Mac, Peepee Tuscany and Deep Voiced Scotty head to center stage.  Deep Voiced Scotty heads to the Couch of Comfort, Pauly Mac then heads there, and Peepee Tuscany goes to what will be her doom on The Silver Stool of Suck. 

We see a video from TMZ where the crew makes fun of the Idols and their missteps, including America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina falling down the steps. 

Now, back to the results!  Let's bring down The Straight Adam Lambert, Haley Reinhart and The Soulful Jacob Lusk.  I'm guessing Haley ends up on The Silver Stools of Suck...  The Straight Adam Lambert heads back to the Couch of Comfort... as does... Haley Reinhart! 

The Soulful Jacob Lusk is in the Bottom Three, though saying something like, "If I'm in the bottom three, its not because I didn't do well, its because people didn't want to look in the mirror..."

Iggy Pop to perform?  Really?  Fast forward!!

Seacrusty now stands by The Bottom Three, and will send someone back to The Couch of Comfort.   Seacrusty says, "I can tell you now, The Soulful Jacob Lusk, that you will be leaving us..." (to which he nods his head) and then adds, "...and going back to the couch..."

And when Seacrusty says, "Peepee Tuscany," the eyes of Stefano Italiano are as big as tea saucers, the Idols on The Couch of Comfort are all stunned and shocked, the audience is booing loudly, and J-Lo is on the verge of tears.   Randy the Dawg mouths a few curse words, as does Steven Tyler.

Here's my theory, and though I hate to agree with Noxema Agrhapbah, it might be the fact that more chicks watch this show that dudes.  And many of those chicks are young chicks who vote for... dudes.  They vote for all the good looking guys, and someone like Pia Tuscano might not stand a chance.

And truly, this is one of those moments where I realize that, in the long run, this isn't as important as say, the presidency or the homeless or our solders in harm's way...

...but at the same time, Pia Tuscano should not be going home tonight.  Not at all.  Were Casey A not saved a few weeks back (a move I agree with, by the way), then Pia would be saved tonight.   The Lovely Steph Leann just pleads out loud, "Turn her mic off!" as her sobs are heard from the stage, while being hugged by The Soulful Jacob Lusk.

My Idol Blog Gently Weeps.

1 comment:

  1. I was in shock last night as I thought everyone but Stefano and Paulie BLEW IT OUT!! I can't ever remember an episode of Idol where I LOVED almost every performance. Even Paulie and Stefano were good - they just weren't "special". I have to disagree witcha on Haley here. I thought she rocked it. I also thought Casey rocked it. I loved the kinder, gentler Casey. Peepee NEVER disappoints - maybe she needs an off week to get my attention again? Not sure who else will be in the bottom three, but definitely Paulie and Stefano.


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