Thursday, April 14, 2011

Hey Judges! Are We Watching the Same Idol?

The show opens with flashbacks to last week's results show.  Stefano Italiano's shocked face when Seacrusty says, "The Idol going home is... Peepee."  The camera scans to the judges with Randy shocked, and Uncle Steven Tyler yelling and J-Lo crying.

After the heartbreaking loss of one Peepee Tuscany last week, where does Idol go for now?  Was it a shocker?  Yes.  But if you stepped back and looked at it again, was it really a surprise?  Not really.  She wasn't going to win, and if she had've, she would have been more likely to be a Taylor Hicks/Kris Allen kind of Idol, rather than Carrie or Kelly. 

She was an adult contemporary style artist in the vein of Michael Buble, Celine Dion and the like.  When was the last time you heard Celine on the radio when it wasn't Delilah's show, or that style station on the radio or satellite radio?   Exactly.  So, Peepee is gone.

Now... its the final 8...




Haven't had a Pickles sighting all season!  You all
know I love me some Pickles!
Seacrusty reminds us that People Magazine has voted J-Lo "The Most Beautiful Chick in the Whole Wide World."  I mean, she's pretty and all, but the most beautiful?  As long as Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) or even Pickles are still breathing, J-Lo can't have that title.  Lest we forget The Lovely Steph Leann!

Tonight is Movie Music Night, with Idols doing songs from movies... Whitney and Celine, you are on alert!

First up is Pauly Mac... and I'll be honest with you--I think Pauly Mac is wearing a little bit on me.  He's got a good, unique voice, but he might be a little eh at this point.  He won't win, so maybe he's overstayed his welcome.

And that suit.  Holy crap, that suit.  Porter Waggoner is looking down from above and saying, "Wow, that is a bad, sparkly suit..."  Pauly Mac is doing "Old Time Rock & Roll" by Bob Seger from "Risky Business", and to me, yeesh.  I don't think song was good at all.

The judges were all about it, but for me, I didn't like that all.  Seacrusty tells us that if we liked sax with Pauly Mac, then vote for him!

Seacrusty then tells us, "After the break, America's Darlin Lauren Alaina takes on Miley!"  I say, out loud, "Ugh" because I know what is coming.   "The Climb".  This song makes me hurt.  Not in a good way, not in a bringing-back-memories kind of song, more of a make-it-stop kind of way.

Will.I.Am and Jimmy Iovine tells America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina that, "you are a much, much better singer than Miley Cyrus", which is like saying, "You are more of a girl than Stefano Italiano.  You are."   They then tell her, "Steal Peepee's votes.  This is your chance!  Those votes are up for grabs!"

Granted, I'm not a fan of this song, from "Hannah Montana: The Movie", mostly because when I worked at The Happiest Place in the Mall in Spring of 2009, this song was on a loop, the whole song, and I heard it at least 2 times per hour, about 40 hours a week.  I've mentioned this before, but I just want you to understand my own climb... however comma this performance from America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina was pretty good.

J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says this song sounded like it was written just for her.  Crazy, creepy Uncle Steven loved it. 

From the Buried Treasure (this movie will come up soon on The Deucecast, which you can subscribe to on iTunes!  Or download from our website!) pile, its "Boomerang"!  This little film from 1993 starred a then-funny Eddie Murphy, a then-relevant Martin Lawerence and a semi-funny David Alan Grier, as well as a young Halle Berry, a sort of likable Robin Givens and even Chris Rock! 

Stefano Italiano is doing Boyz II Men's classic "End of the Road", which was MASSIVE back in the day.  See, you think your radio is filled with nothing but GaGa and Katy Perry, well take it back to 1993, when Boyz II Men and a pre-skank Mariah Carey was doing nothing but dominating the airwaves.  "End of the Road" was HUUUUGE, like, every other song played on every station, was this song. 

Jimmy Iovine and Will.He.Is tells Stefano Italiano that he has to stop singing not to lose, and sing to win.  And if the show were called "Flailing To and Fro About the Stage Like a Bad Michael Stipe Idol", then Paula Mac would finally have some competition, but being a singing competition, not so much. 

Stefano Italiano does well.  But not great.  Randy the Dawg calls it the best vocals he's seen from Stefano, and gives him the "In it to win it!"  Uncle Steven Tyler gives the obligatory, "This isn't the end of the road for you!" and J-Lo loved it.

Are we watching the same show?

Deep Voiced Scotty is doing Nilsson's "Everybody's Talkin"?  He sounds fantastic!  This is going to rule.  Wait... he changes it?  Booo....

From the movie "Pure Country", one of the best awful films I've ever seen, he's instead doing "I Cross My Heart" from George Strait.  I agree with Annie Barrett from EW, I can barely tell Deep Voiced Scotty's songs apart by now, but they all work.  

As for this one, one of my favorite country tunes to date, its... well, not as good as his past peformances.  I feel like he could have done more.  Better.  Crazy Creepy Uncle Steven tells him that it was great.  J-Lo says, "everyone wants us to be tough, but you are all so good!"  So, J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg thought the song choice was great, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The Saved Casey A is up next, and looks like he's singing "Nature Boy", an old standard from Nat King Cole, and it sounds good... wait, he's changing it?  Him too?   Jimmy Iovine and Will.He.B, and someone who looks like a wussy Allen Iverson, all tell him to switch it, so he's going to "In the Air Tonight" from Phil Collins.

Wait, he goes back to "Nature Boy", using the upright bass to perform it, mmh!  What song is this, heh?  Where is its from, hah?  Well, its from the 1948 oh-wa movie "The Boy With the Green Hair" ho-wah and then featured in the 1990 movie "The Crossing" (featuring a very young Russell Crowe!), and then 1993's ho-uh "Untamed Heart" and then 2001's "Angel Eyes" and "Moulin Rouge!" and uh ha so its been everywhere.  Whats the ho hah and uh for?  Just emulating his own style.

Okay, I didn't think The Saved Casey A sang it that well.  I could even tell a few notes off key, and being a little pitchy.  However, the style was really, really cool, so I kinda liked the whole thing.

J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg compares him to Norah Jones and Michael Bubbles and such.  And I'm not really sure what Uncle Steven Tyler just said, but I could be convinced that he just spoke in tongues.  He did compare The Saved Casey A to Sting just about now. 

And now, Haley Reinhart.  I don't even have a nickname for her, unless I called her The Provocatively Dressed Haley, or Haley with the Low Cut Top... Haley Hotness is too strong a term... maybe Haley Cuteness?  Haley Sort Of Niceness? 

Either way, Haley is singing "American Gigolo"'s song, "Call Me" from Blondie.  No low cut top this time, but her dress stops just past her waistline and unmentionables.  And she looks like she just made out with a stained glass window.  I'm surprised the light isn't reflecting colors all over the wall.

What I'm afraid of is that she has to have a big production to sing... maybe she can't rest on just her voice, she likes to move it move it all over the stage.  Randy the Dawg didn't like it.  Crazy Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler agrees, but loved the dress.  J-Lo loved it. 

Personally?  I loved every. single.  thing.  about. it.

Jimmy Iovine and Will.Am.Him call The Soulful Jacob Lusk out for his "If people don't vote for me, then they are afraid to look themselves in the mirror!" comment last week... which saw The Soulful Jacob Lusk ending up on a Silver Stool of Suck.

This week, from "The Pursuit of Happyness", he's singing "Bridge Over Troubled Waters".   This is by far and away my least favorite song by Simon & Garfunkel, like, way, way down below.  I can't stand this song, it bores me to tears and I avoid it when I can. 

And of course, he does just enough to get him to the "blow you away" note, and then he lands that sucker down perfectly.  The song's inadequices were by far made up for by the last note or two, both which went on for about 29 minutes each.  Not my favorite of the night, but good.

Uncle Steven loved the last note.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg tells him its believable. 

The Straight Adam Lambert goes obscure, and picks out "Heavy Metal" from the movie of the same name in 1981, sung by Sammy Hagar.  Jimmy Iovine hates the decision, and even gets contentious with The Straight Adam Lambert... Will.Is.He.Be tries to keep the peace, saying, "I've had this same confrontation with Jimmy too, with my group."

The song finds The Straight Adam Lambert working his way from the stage to standing on the judges table, rocking out with dude that I am not sure wasn't in Saughter jamming on the guitar, and screeching.  Alot.  This song is a mess. 

J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says, "you were just at The Straight Adam Lambert's concert!"  Crazy Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler says that it was outstanding.

Are we watching the same show?

Crazy enough, I think I liked Haley Cuteness' song the best.  Who knew?  I think that she and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina are safe, while I would say that The Soulful Jacob Lusk and Deep Voiced Scotty are on the cusp.  My predictions for The Bottom Three are Stefano Italiano, Pauly Mac and either The Saved Casey A or The Straight Adam Lambert.

Alrighty... just got in from an evening with Melanie and her family... the Zarzaur Kids were in a huge Broadway style play at their church, so I witnessed the spectacle, the majesty, the wonder of... well, it was pretty cute.  Special K, The Zach Attack and Jay Z all spent time on stage, singing in a chorus group, while myself, Melanie and Hubby Chris laughed and giggled at the kids obvious embarassment...

So, I just home, and The Lovely Steph Leann texted me not long after (she's in Pensacola tonight) with the words "did you watch Idol?!?"   I said, "About to. Did you?"  And she said, "The important part!"  Don't know if that means its a big shocker tonight, and she wanted to talk about it, or if she was just asking... either way...



Now, the Idol performances show takes me about 40 minutes to zip through an hour, maybe an hour to go through a 90 minute show... Results show?  In an hour show, I can usually get through it in about 15 minutes. 

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina and Deep Voiced Scotty come out to sing a duet to "American Honey".  I'm sure The Lovely Steph Leann was giggling like a little school girl, as she loves her some Lady A.   I dig the duets and trios more than the big group number they usually do, as it gives me options to listen.

Okay, enough of this.  Fast forward.

Commercial break.  Fast forward.

The making of the Ford Music Video.  Fast forward

The actual Ford Music Video.  Fast forward

Listening to The Saved Casey A and Haley Reinhart sing an old standard.  She sounds better here (when it doesn't count) than any other time I've heard her.   Randy the Dawg agree, yelling, "That's whats up!  Where was alla'day?!"

Now its time for some results!  Deep Voiced Scotty and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina join The Saved Casey A and Haley Reinhart centerstage... Seacrusty reminds us there were 370 billion votes last night... Deep Voiced Scotty and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina head to the Couch of Comfort.  The Saved Casey A and Haley Reinhart are left... one will head to the Couch of Comfort, the other will be the first on the Silver Stools of Suck. 

And once again, Haley Reinhart lives dangerously, as she plants that booty on the Silver Stools of Suck. 

Commercial break.  Fast forward.

A video of Rob Reiner talking to the Idols about movie music.  Fast forward.

A performance from Jason Aldeen and Kelly Clarkson.  Fast forward.

Commercial break.  Fast forward

The Soulful Jacob Lusk, Stefano Italiano, The Straight Adam Lambert and Pauly Mac doing a quartet of my favorite Simon & Garfunkel song, "The Sounds of Silence".  Silence.  Exactly what I hear when I fast forward.

Time for more results!  Seacrusty zips through a typical recap of last night's performances from the guys.  He sends someone back to the Couch of Comfort--and that would be The Straight Adam Lambert.  This leaves three, and now, Stefano Italiano is in the bottom three, and joins his Silver Stools of Suck partner in crime, Haley Reinhart.  The Soulful Jacob Lusk and Pauly Mac are left, and after the nationwide vote, Pauly Mac finds himself in The Bottom Three.   Why I didn't predict Haley in the bottom three, I don't know. 

Commercial break.  Fast forward

Rhianna.  Fast forward.

Commercial break.  Fast forward.

And now, the final results.  Dim the lights!  Seacrusty reminds us that since the Top 13, only chicks have gone home... Haley is hoping to turn that around... and as it turns out, she follows the footsteps of... those returning to the Couch of Comfort.  She is safe.

After the nationwide vote... going home is... Pauly Mac goes home.  Stefano Italiano lives to sing and flail another ballad another day.  Okay, lets be real--Paul McDonald was not going to win American Idol, nor should he.  However, at least he was unique enough to be remembered, and he went late enough in the show that perhaps he might have more success than say, Ashthon Jones... although ProActiv is still in the cards.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I want to hear your response! Click here!!