Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Idol Four (with results)

Casey James... Big Mike Lynche... Crystal Bowersox... Lee DeWyze... who will join the next Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, David Cook, Kris Allen, Taylor Hicks, Fantasia, Jordin Sparks, or Ruuuuuben Studdard as the next American Idol? 




Its worth noting that at no time have I attached "My Next American Idol" to any of these guys, an honor bestowed upon dignitaries as My Girl McPhee, Alison Iraheta and Brooke White... and no one has the honor of being the second "The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol", much like The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen. 


No one deserves it.  Let's face it, neither one of us are buying any of the albums put out by any of the Idols this year.  And you probably aren't either.

Tonight, the mentor is Jamie Foxx, star of such hits as "Ray", "Miami Vice", "Stealth" and "Booty Call".  The Lovely Steph Leann comments on "The Man Hug" demonstrated by Jamie Foxx and the guys in the group. 

Favorite Jamie Foxx movie?  "Collateral".  Also starring Tom Cruise, Jada Pinkett Smith and Mark Ruffalo, it features Foxx as Max, a cab driver who picks up Vincent (Cruise), a hitman who forces Max to drive him around to do his dirty work.  Fantastic film, directed by Michael Mann, its dark, its smart and its great to see Cruise in a bad guy role.  Rated R for language and violence.   I'm trying to decide if this is an addition to The Dave100 as I rethink those last few movies for presentation this summer...

Jamie is giving each contestant a shirt--it is black and either says "CONTESTANT" or "ARTIST".  You want the latter, not the former.  Jamie gives Lee the "ARTIST" shirt, but that was in the rehearsal video.  Tonight?  He's hit a few pretty rough notes. 

Lee DeWyze is singing "Kiss From a Rose."  By the way, love this song, the original that is.  Seal was the man back in the 90s... "Kiss from a Rose", "Crazy" (not the Gnarls Barkley one, but the one that goes "Yeah I'm never gonna survive... unless... we get a little crazy..." which was like a college anthem for me my freshman year), "Prayer for the Dying"... rock on.  Not sure what most of them means, but awesome stuff.

Randy the Dawg suggested he should have done "Blaze of Glory" from Bon Jovi, because he didn't like the song this time.  Ellen DeG gives him a compliment anyway.  Kara the New Hotness says that everyone loves Lee, but the song is just too difficult tonight.   Simon the Cowell says that there are so many brilliant songs to choose from, but this version was verging on karaoke. 

Not good, Lee, not good tonight.

Seacrest says something ominous before sending it to commercial.  "Coming up, Michael Lynche sings Michael Jackson!"  And so I rack my brain to come up with MJ songs in the movies... I came up with two... "Ease on Down the Road" from "The Wiz" and "You Are Not Alone" from "Free Willy".  And both are bad ideas.  Bad, bad ideas.

Tonight he's singing "Will You Be There?"... what is that from?  Big Mike forgets the words in the run-through, and Jamie gives him a "CONTESTANT" shirt.   I stand corrected... I Wiki'ed it, and this is the song from "Free Willy".  Not as bad of an idea, then.  Not a bad song... and not bad tonight for Big Mike.

Randy the Jackson says it was just "aight" for him.  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres says it was from the great, classic film, "Free Willy".  Then she says the song was predictable.  Kara the New Hotness didn't care for it, and Simon the Cowell is having a hard time connecting "A whale called Willy and that song".  Insert obligatory "willy" joke here, which they do.

Tonight begins the duet portion of the season.  C'Bosox and Lee DeWyze are doing "Falling Slowly" from the movie "Once", which is the song that defeated the nominated songs from "Enchanted" in the 2008 Academy Awards.  Personally, I think its because "How Do You Know" and "Happy Working Song" split the vote.  That awards show featured both Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and Kristin Chenoweth (ahh)... good times.

This song tonight?  Pretty good.  Both on guitar, singing to each other, and it was very well done.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Ellen DeG called them "the new Captain & Tennille".  Kara the New Hotness said it was one of the best moments of the season.  Simon the Cowell says it was fantastic. 

Seacrest teases us and says ,"Up next, Casey James with a song from 'The Graduate'!"   I am predicting "Mrs. Robinson", The Lovely Steph Leann is going with "Sounds of Silence".  And like usual, I'm right.  Jamie Foxx pulls an Usher and says, "Sing to me.  Seduce me."  Then hands him an "ARTIST" shirt.

Sitting on stage, CJ busts out a mandolin, tones it down a little and plucks out "Mrs. Robinson".  I do like this song... its not one of my favorites.

By the way, the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced.--"The Graduate"?  Overrated.  Pretty good film, but shouldn't be ranked in the Top Ten Best Film Ever In The History Of The Entire Earth and Hollywood Combined! lists that come out from time to time.  Also terribly overrated?  "Shrek" and its sequels, "Meet the Parents" and its sequels and "Gone with the Wind".  Just keepin' it real, yo. 

Randy the Dawg asks him what made CJ choose the song, and immediately points to Kara the New Hotness, which embarrasses CJ and Kara the New Hotness at the same time.  Says it was pretty good.  Ellen DeG liked this week, and how different it was.  Kara the New Hotness says this performance is him fighting to stay in the competition.  It was a good choice.  Simon the Cowell didn't think the song had much substance and a little lazy for CJ.

The Lovely Steph Leann points out that we've already heard "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" and "I Believe I Can Fly" this year, so those are out. 

Crystal Bowersox is doing the "Caddyshack" classic, "I'm Alright".  What?  Seriously?  This could either be fantastic or horrible, much like the new A-Team movie.  Jamie Foxx is talking about the song, and it might be the first time the words "Kenny" and "Loggins" have ever passed through the lips of Jamie Foxx. 

And as 80s sounding as the original song, C'Bosox does it almost rock to rockabilly... and it sounds great.  I would think to fully appreciate this song, you'd have to be very familiar with the original... and if Simon Cowell was struggling with what "Free Willy" and "The Graduate" was, this song might be beyond his comprehension.

Randy the Dawg says it wasn't his favorite performance, but liked how she changed it up.  Ellen DeG says the song is better now.  Kara the New Hotness says Ellen DeG is right.  Simon the Cowell says she's back in the game. 

One more duet, and its "To Really Love a Woman" as done by Casey James and Big Mike.  Though it starts out pretty good, CJ is a little breathy.  And then Big Mike kicks in... and to me, brings the song to another level.  On this classic Bryan Adams song, Casey James sounds good.  Big Mike sounds great.  I'm digging this song performance.

Randy the Dawg says they sounded really good.  Ellen DeG says, "As a matter of fact, yes I have loved a woman".  America's Favorite Lesbian, everyone!  Kara the New Hotness says the duets tonight were incredible.  Simon the Cowell agreed. 

Seacrest says that tomorrow night, Daughtry and Fantasia come home to Idol, and then says that Bon Jovi is performing, to which The Lovely Steph Leann throws both hands up and screams "BON JOVI!!!".  Looks like there is at least one song we won't be fast forwarding through.

For me tonight... Crystal & Lee's duet... Big Mike & CJ's duet... Crystal Bowersox's "I'm Alright"... Big Mike's "Will You Be There"... Casey James' "Mrs. Robinson"... Lee DeWyze's "Kiss from a Rose".


We're back for some results

Our top four, singing songs from the movies. This is what they were born to do.  This is so important to them.  This is what they have been dreaming about their whole lives, and it means everything to them, to heal the world with their music. 


Seacrest is out onstage, telling us that 37,000,000 votes came in last night.  And tonight, Bon Jovi is onstage, plus Fantasia is here, and Daughtry is here to sing too!  Erin the Marine Wife is squealing in her corn flakes right now.

So let's get it started, right?  And how do we do that?

The Lovely Steph Leann is deliberating on whether I can fast forward through Fantasia

She gives the okay

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Ford commercial

And here we are, seeing Big Mike, C'Bosox, Lee and CJ sitting upon the Silver Stools of Safety.  We get a quick recap of how big of a deal it is to have the Idols go home, as we see The Widower Danny Gokey, Bo Bice, Taylor Hicks, Carrie Underwood, Kris Allen and more in their seasons as they are in their hometowns.

The camera cuts to the families of the Idol Four, sitting on the Big Blue Couch onstage, as Seacrest is continuing to kill as much time as he can.   Dim the lights!  Big Mike and CJ are announced first.  Then C'Bosox and Lee.  After the nationwide vote, Casey James is.... safe and in the Top Three!  He heads to the Big Blue Couch and joins his family.

Fast forward through commercials

Now, for my prediction to come true, with Crystal Bowersox beting eliminated two weeks from the finals, putting Casey James and Lee DeWyze eventually into the finals, C'Bosox would have to go home tonight.

Daughtry comes onstage... if you just cocked your head a little and flinched from an ear piercing scream, that was Erin the Marine Wife seeing this.  That girl loves loves loves her some Chris Daughtry.  Then again, who doesn't?

Not fast forwarding through Daughtry, as commanded by The Lovely Steph Leann

Halfway through, she gives the okay

Fast forwarding through Daughtry

Fast forwarding through commercials

Back to results... dim the lights!  Big Mike stands up.  Lee DeWyze stands up.  And then to Crystal Bowersox.  After the nationwide vote... Lee DeWyze is in the Idol Three with Casey James.  He goes to the Big Blue Couch with DeFamily.

Fast forward through commercials

And we're back... and who's rocking the stage?  How about Bon Jovi.  I don't even try to fast forward through this one... Jon Bon Jovi is a card carrying member in good standing in The Colin Firth Club and probably one of the longest tenured members to boot.

Seacrest (on screen):  So you guys have been around 25 years!
Jon Bon Jovi (on screen): We've crossed generations at this point
The Lovely Steph Leann (on couch, in a whisper):  That's right. That's right.

Fast forward through commercials

Now, let's get to results.  Dim the lights.  The person in the Idol Three is... Crystal Bowersox.  Big Mike goes home tonight.  The Lovely Steph Leann is "awwww...."ing at the camera focused on Big Mike's babymama in tears.

So next Tuesday, its Lee vs Casey vs Crystal... the Idol Three.

1 comment:

  1. Well thank goodness I read this tonight. I have been counting on your blog to tell me the results because I can barely watch this season it's so blech.

    Just imagine. If I had not read this, not only would I have missed out on seeing my name on your blog not once, but TWICE in one post...I would have deleted the results show and my precious man Chris.

    Once again, Clouds has saved the day. Thanks!

    Erin the Marine Wife


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