Well, here it is... Tuesday night, and time for another (un)exciting recap of another (un)exciting episode on America's most (un)exciting show... no, I'm not talking about Accidentally on Purpose...
...American Idol. Yeah.
You know how, when you are in junior high or high school, you pick an artist and think, "Ya know, I'm going to become a fan of this artist, mostly because not many people know too much about them, and by me knowing about this artist, owning their albums [re: cassettes], it will make me a bit cooler?"
That was Harry Connick, Jr, for me back in the last 80s, early 90s. I own like, four of his albums, and they are all good albums, mind you.... and I mention this because Harry Connick Jr is the mentor tonight, with this theme night of "Songs of Frank Sinatra". My favorite Connick album? "She", featuring my favorite Connick song, "(I Could Only) Whisper Your Name".
Everyone loves Sinatra. Seriously. One of my favorite lines in any movie, ever, was in Ocean's Thirteen, when Danny Ocean is telling Willy Banks, the bad guy, "...you shook Sinatra's hand. you should know better..."
And The Lovely Steph Leann and I are marveling at the fact that not only is Harry Connick going to mentor, he's also done their arrangements, and will be playing in the band behind their performances... that is just awesome.
With Harry Connick Jr on piano, Aaron Kelly sings, "Fly Me to the Moon". Everything sounds better when HCJ is behind you on piano.
Randy the Dawg says it was a really good performance. America's Favorite Lesbian jokes that the piano was a little pitchy, but was highly impressed with Aaron's song. Kara the New Hotness says it was good, but not as good as last week. Simon the Cowell said the vocals didn't have conviction, but that people like Aaron Kelly, so it might be okay.
With Harry Connick Jr on piano, Casey James sings, "Blue Skies"... well, the word caterwaul comes to mind, because that was not a good opening. Almost everything sounds better when HCJ is behind you on piano.
After the song, The Lovely Steph Leann looks up at me, then looks back at the TV. Not a good sign. Randy the Dawg says it was the worst performance for CJ. Ellen DeG says that CJ has no swagger and just wasn't cool. Kara the New Hotness says it took him too long to warm up and get in pitch. Simon the Cowell says it wasn't great. And it wasn't. HCJ says he thought it sang well in rehearsal saying, "You killed it about two hours ago... but that won't help you tonight, I guess..."
Seacrest shows us that Hannibal Lecter is in the audience. Awesome. Then he shows off the new Coke Cups for product placement. Mmm mmm.
With Harry Connick Jr on piano, C'Bosox is singing "Summer Wind", a song that I'm not that familiar with. C'Bosox says the song is personal to her, but doesn't share, to which HCJ says that is what makes the song so great.
One word to describe C'Bosox tonight... sultry.
Sultry is a strange word that doesn't get used much... but when it is used, its typically a good thing. Like tonight. Everything sounds sultry when HCJ is behind you on piano.
Randy the Dawg says it was a bit subdued and sleepy. Ellen DeG says it started slow, but loosened up. Kara the New Hotness liked it. Simon the Cowell says he loves the song, but wouldn't have chosen this one for her. C'Bosox defends her performance.
With Harry Connick Jr on piano, Big Mike is singing my favorite Sinatra tune, "The Way You Look Tonight". Back in the day, I wanted to use this in my proposal... at least, when I thought I would be proposing to someone other than The Lovely Steph Leann.
Everything sounds better when HCJ is behind you on piano. Didn't like it, loved it. It helps that it was this song.
Randy the Dawg loved the arrangement, loved the vocal, loved the performance. Ellen DeG loved it. Kara the New Hotness loved it. Simon the Cowell says its been a tricky night, and the first three performances were just okay, while Big Mike was great.
My first experience with "That's Life" is in "License to Drive", when the drunk guy is singing the song, driving Les' Grandpa's Caddy, the one that he wasn't supposed to take from the garage... the drunk guy steals it, and sings loudly to "That's Life!" as he crashes it.
With Harry Connick Jr on piano, Lee DeWyze is singing "That's Life". Everything sounds better when HCJ is behind you on piano.
Randy the Dawg loved it. Ellen DeG makes a "Harry's organ" joke. Kara the New Hotness tells him he can win this thing. Simon the Cowell says what he really liked was Harry's mentoring, and helped Lee show personality and confidence.
For me, the rundown is... Big Mike... Lee DeWyze... Crystal Bowersox... Aaron Kelly... Casey James
AAAAAANNNNNDDDDDDDD the results...
Harry Connick Jr, probably one of the best mentors I've ever seen on Idol, is awesome. Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone) has seen him three times, and I'm jealous.
By the way, check out Entertainment Weekly's list of the Most Awkward Mentoring Moments on Idol... the reminder of Randy Travis meeting and disapproving of The Unambigiously Gay Adam Lambert's version of "Ring of Fire"... and Gwen Stefani's frown on Sanjaya's version of "Bath Water", which incidentally makes Idol's worst performance countdown too.
Once again, we are treated to a performance by Lady Gaga (is it GaGa?) later tonight, which I'm sure we'll fast forward through... I said before that I have never heard a Gaga tune, and someone corrected me by saying "you commented on her when she performed on Idol" last season. Tis true, but I remember nothing about it. In fact, I remember her gawd awful outfit.
Fast Forward through the Idol's medley of Sinatra standards (says The Lovely Steph Leann: We don't need a medley of nothing)
Fast Forward through commercials
Fast Forward through Ford commercial
We get a montage of the Idols and their typical week at rehearsals and such... I don't fast forward because I am getting the above links for the EW lists, and end up watching the montage, which is kinda fun.
Alright, folks... dim the lights. Someone in the audience went "Awwww...."
Lee DeWyze stands up and is directed to the middle of the stage. They spend a lot of time discussing Lee's performance last night, with Simon telling him "its the first time that you looked like you believed that you could win." Either way, Lee is safe, and headed over to the Silver Stools of Security.
Fast forward through commercials
Truly, I can't be the only person not excited for Shrek: Forever After... well, actually, I think it was called "Shrek Goes Fourth", but they changed it... and I've seen it called "Forever After" and "The Final Chapter". Either way, I call it $11.75 I'm going to save for "Ironman 2".
By the way, Lady Gaga actually taped her performance several weeks ago. All that we are seeing onstage actually happened in April. The audience you hear is that night's audience, and they just show the tape to the current audience.
In my typing, I actually hear a Lady Gaga song. It's not bad, as long as I don't actually look at her. The name of the song is "Alejandro", and I have no idea what it means. She's wearing fishnets. All over her body. Including her face.
Alright, enough Gaga.
Fast Forward through the back hallf of Lady Gaga's song
Fast Forward through commercials
Cracking up at Harry Connick Jr's mentoring process... he seems like a hilariously funny guy.
Not Fast Forwarding through Harry Connick Jr. I hope I don't have a mancrush on this guy. The Rock is enough for me.
By the way, scanning Facebook, there are about fifty chicks I know that are drooling over themselves because of HCJ. Like The Lovely Steph Leann.
Fast Forward through Idolites singing HCJ songs
Harry Connick Jr is relaying a story about when he met Frank Sinatra back in the day. He mentions his wife Jill Goodacre, who I know from the Season 2 episode of "Friends" when Chandler Bing is stuck in an ATM vestible with Jill Goodacre... now, say the words "I'm stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre", but say it with your lips almost closed. "Gum... would be perfection". Man that was funny.
Dim the lights! Crystal Bowersox stands up, and after the vote, she is going to the far side of the stage by the piano. Big Mike stands, and is sent to the near side of the stage. Casey James goes to the far side with C'Bosox, and Aaron Kelly joins Big Mike on the closer side.
Lee is asked to join one of the groups, and he refused. Seacrest relents, and announces that Big Mike and Aaron Kelly are the Bottom Two.
And after the nationwide vote, Aaron Kelly goes home. Big Mike is in the top four.
I've been saying this for weeks and weeks... Casey James vs. Lee DeWyze in the Finals. I think Big Mike is third, and I predict that Crystal Bowersox goes home NEXT WEEK. Not that she deserves to, but thats the kind of Idol season we got going on. You heard it here.