Saturday, May 09, 2009

Jennifer Garner & the McGriddle Effect (reviews on Wolverine and other selected films)

It's really late, and I'm kinda tired after pushing the magic all day long at The Happiest Place in the Mall. But... we have a house guest coming on Monday, and The Lovely Steph Leann is in full-clean mode, meaning I'll have lots to do tomorrow night when I get home from work. So, I figured it would be as good a night as any to discuss the recent flicks I've seen... starting with...

Personally, despite the mixed reviews from critics, I thought this film was pretty good. Was it as good as the first "X-Men"? No. Was it as good as "X2: X-Men United"? No. Was it as good as "X-Men: The Last Stand"? Better.

Essentially we see a young James Howlett and a young Victor Creed, half brothers in the film (though in the comics they are unrelated), growing up together. James, who would eventually be Wolverine, and Victor, who would eventually become Sabretooth, grow up together, fighting in both World Wars and Vietnam, before eventually being roped into a special team of ops with other mutants to do some dirty work for the military. While Victor loves the violence and the chance to bear his claws, James, who takes on the name "Logan", has enough and walks out.
So it comes to pass that... well, they end up fighting. There's a chick involved, the leader of the special ops force--General Stryker--is a bad guy, and there is lots and lots of cool comic book action.

This is one of the coolest movie posters of the summer, with (L-R) Deadpool, Gambit, Wolverine, Sabretooth & Kayla Silverfox. I will now go and adjust my pocket protector, watch C-SPAN and do long division for fun.

The Colin Firth Club Member in good standing, Hugh Jackman, reprises his X-movie role of Wolverine, and does a great job at it. I even think of Hugh when I read the comics now... a great part, though, is Liev Schreiber playing Victor Creed, aka Sabretooth, though I don't remember him actually being called Sabretooth in the movie. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Ryan Reynolds as the mutant Deadpool, and of course, Gambit (Taylor Kitsch) was awesome. I had heard that Gambit was supposed to be in the 2nd X-Men film, but for budgetary reasons was left out.

You'll also see a young Scott Summers (Cyclops) and a cool appearance by Emma Frost, who was rumored to be played by Sigourney Weaver, had Bryan Singer remained to direct the last film.

If you aren't a comic person, or didn't like any of the aforementioned X-Films, then "Wolverine" is not your bag, baby... it truly does take a hold of the X-Lore and try to play it out onscreen.

Now, I like a fun chick flick as much as the next guy... well, I guess it depends on the guy, but seriously, in the top twenty of The Dave100, there are no less than five chick flicks there. I try to always mention that when I talk about a chick flick, as you might think that I would be biased against it just cause I am a guy...

Sandra and Connor spar over the fallen, broken wedding cake

...that being said, I kinda liked this film. I mean, its not going to end up on the 100 Coolest of 2009, I'm sure, but its one that if it came on cable, I may or may not stop to watch.
The premise is this... Connor Mead (played by Wooderson) is this guy who loves women, loves being with women and loved breaking up with women when he's done. As predicted, there is one girl who has always had his heart, and that would be Jennifer Perotti (played by Jennifer Garner).. the way, I cannot figure out if I like Jennifer Garner or not. I mean, I liked "13 Going On 30" well enough, and though I thought "Elektra" was terrible, she at least was a shining point in a dismal film... but as for how she looks, she's either incredibly hot or incredibly unattractive. Its the McGriddle Effect. I'm either really attracted to her, or I'm really, really not. I don't think there's an in between. Where was I?

Well, Connor Mead shows up for his brother's wedding weekend (Breckin Meyer, who is the lead singer for the band LoveBurger and a pretty funny actor, plays the brother, and Lacey Chabert, who I have no problem admitting I think is incredibly hot) and of course, calamity ensues. Enter Uncle Wayne, played by a so-creepy-he's-hilarious Michael Douglas, who has been dead for years, but comes back to tell Connor that there will be three ghosts visiting him to help him change his ways... the ghosts of girlfriends past, present and future... and you see where this is going, I'm sure.

Anyway, there is no new ground being broken here, the take on "A Christmas Carol" has been done before and better, but all in all, its an enjoyable film for lighthearted, I-dont-wanna-think-too-hard kinds of afternoons. I say afternoon because this is recommended as a matinee, not a $9.25 evening show... or even better, wait for the dollar theater. And tell me what you think of Jennifer Garner. Cause I just don't know.

When I mentioned Jennifer Garner to someone as pretty, they said "Really? She's got a 'horse face'!" I thought that was really mean, then I thought, "But... I can see that..."

Just finished watching the 1979 mini-series on dvd. Read the book three times, it might be overtaking "It" as my favorite King book (though I'm reading "It" now for the first time in almost 20 years, so we'll see), and saw the pretty lackluster movie with Rob Lowe from a few years ago, so I figured I'd put the old one on Netflix. It came a few days ago, and I finally got around to watching it.

It sucked.

"17 AGAIN"
Anyone under 25 or so will probably enjoy this movie more than people over 25. People under 25 have no concept of Tom Hank's brilliant "Big", or perhaps they've only seen it on Comedy Central, or because they are dating someone over 25 who said, "Oh, you have to watch this film!". But those under 25 certainly won't remember "Vice Versa", or "18 Again" or "Like Father, Like Son" or "Dream a Little Dream", and its a good chance that those over 25 might have to strain to remember those classics starring... Fred Savage & Judge Reinhold ("Vice Versa")... George Burns & Charlie Schlatter ("18 Again")... Dudley Moore & Kirk Cameron ("Like Father, Like Son", which admittedly I had forgotten about until I started looking for movie links and found it)... and seriously, who could forget the Oscar nominated, Golden Globe winning efforts of not only Corey Haim but ALSO Corey Feldman in "Dream a Little Dream".

Of course, the granddaddy of all of these switch 'em up movies was "Freaky Friday", starring a young Jodie Foster, excellently remade in 2003 with a then-sane Lindsay Lohan and a pre-Activia Jamie Lee Curtis.

I mention all of this to remind you that this whole young-to-old-to-young plotline is not new. "17 Again" gives you what you've seen before, but in a slightly different way. The older guy this time is played by Chandler Bing, and to be taught how good is life is, he much transform into a younger guy, played by Colin Firth Club intern Zac Efron, and go back to high school. Now, sarcasm aside, I actually thought this movie was pretty funny... there are two reasons why I like this movie:

1) Thomas Lennon. He plays the nerdy, geeky, gawky Ned (who names their kid Ned? I mean, really?) who somehow is best friends with Zac's cool Mike (this would never happen, by the way), and grows up to be a rich software developer who lives in his geekdom apartment. For me, Lennon steals every scene he's in.
2) Leslie Mann. Its no secret that I'm in love with Amy Adams. However, I could easily remove "Amy Adams" from that sentence and easily slip in "Leslie Mann".

Every time she's in a movie, she's wonderful. And gorgeous.

To sum up, "17 Again" is worth a viewing, because even though you've been down this road before, its not a bad trip. Another film you could pay a buck for and not feel bad.

(pardon me while one of my favorite parts of The #1 film on The Dave100 plays on television right now... can't turn away...)

(...and I'm back)

Oh. My. Gosh. Where do I even start?

This is perhaps the silliest, stupidest, most unintentionally funny movie this side of "An Inconvenient Truth"... from the very first moment of this movie, I was giggling.

When I was at Troy State, we knew this guy named Mike who was a TKE. Now, TKE's were kind of the joke frat at TSU (Can't go Greek? Go Teek. Can't go Teek? Go home!), and Mike was no exception. He wanted to be liked so badly, he wanted people to look at him, and chicks to love him and he wanted people to know how cool he was. In order to do this, he liked to walk around, come to lunch at SAGA and sometimes go to class... with his shirt off. The guy was pasty white, and though he definately was built (I would never say these things to his face), we all got a laugh out it, because he took himself sooooo seriously.

This movie is like Mike at TSU. It so desperately wants you to like it, it will do all the things it thinks you will think is cool, and yet, you will end up just laughing at it.

Vin Diesel cannot say more than two or three multi-syllabic words in a single sentence, and absolutely cannot speak above a low growl. Every single one of his lines is spoken in a low growl... "I'm going to make them pay for this..." Low growl. "You killed Letty. I'm going to kill you..." Low growl. "Mia, do you have any 2% milk..." Low growl.

Essentially, there is this crazy nutzoid gas stealing scene at the very beginning, where Dom and Letty and the gang try to swipe a few tanker trucks of oil as it drives down the highway--I mean, lets not pull the guy off of the road with a shotgun aimed at his head, nay, let's toss Michelle Rodriguez on a moving 18 wheeler to unhitch the trailers.

Vin and Paul, in all their cheesy glory

Anyway, she dies, Dom gets angry, he re-teams with Paul Walker to infultrate the bad guy gang and get the guy who killed her and so on and so on... whatever. The plot here is not important.

Look, this movie can be summed one in two lines of dialogue... so, Paul Walker and Vin Diesel are standing on a cliff, on the US side, overlooking the Mexican border. Paul Walker, the special agent, leaned up against his hot rod, looks at Vin Diesel and says, "This is where my jurisdiction ends." Vin, who never takes his eyes off the Mexican town below, says, in a low growl, "...This is where my jurisdiction begins."

I laughed so hard the people two rows in front of me turned their heads a little toward me.

As you can probably guess, I'm pretty excited for "Up", and "Terminator Salvation" and "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" (which has Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with) and of course, the new Harry Potter flick... but here's a trailer for one that you may not know about, and I'm kinda anxious to see it... its got a sorely missed Nia Vardalos, my favorite Greek actress of all time in a brand new movie...

1 comment:

  1. I will now go and adjust my pocket protector, watch C-SPAN and do long division for fun.Really? Here you go:

    long division worksheets :)


I want to hear your response! Click here!!