The Oscars, The Muppets and Mike Bolton's Big Day

(Anyone looking for American Idol thoughts, I'll post guys & girls reviews together on Thursday morning...)

So, Sunday night was Oscar night... as always, a group gathered for the proceedings to watch the glam and pageantry as multi-million dollar celebs gather to congratulate themselves on such fine work, and the fact they now treat Al Gore as a rock star because he dare say "America! You suck! Clean up your environment now", all the while saying "China, you build all the carbon-producing plants you want... its okay, we are the bad guys, not you." But I'm not bitter.


That's right... people were having a Goregasm over his masterpiece, "A Convenient Lie"

A few Oscar highlights:

• Will Ferrill, Jack Black and John C. Reilly's song about the fact comedies never win anything was absolutely hysterical. It is true, though... last year, I read a number of critics that said "The 40 Year Old Virgin" truly was the best movie of the year, but The Academy didn't take it seriously enough to nominate it for anything. Instead, we get Brokeback Mountme and Crash (the latter of which I do want to eventually see, the former of which I have no desire to ever see--no, I'm not homophobic, I just don't want to see two gay guys getting it on)
• The "Sound Choir" was really interesting too. A choir stood up and made noises, while the corresponding film clips played in the background, from trains to shopping carts to shark attacks and whatever. And the kicker was, they all had songbooks in their hands... I mean, what was in those? Pictures? Instructions like "Train. Whistle."?
• Somewhere around the Sound Editing Award, we start making comments about the differences in Sound Editing and Sound Mixing. This is a joke that will run through the entire evening.
• As George Lucas stood onstage, watching Steven Spielberg and Francis Ford Coppola banter back and forth about their Oscars (of which Lucas has never won one), Drew Morris commented, "Yeah, but Steve? Fran? I'VE GOT BILLIONS!!!!". Funny.
• Speaking of directors, I was glad that Marty Scorcese won his Director's Oscar, and that "The Departed" won for best picture. I was afraid they'd give it to him because they thought he shouold have one, not this one picture (see Denzel Washington in "Training Day"), but I saw the movie last week... and it was awesome. Mark Wahlberg is just great in it, as is Matt Damon and everyone else. And its pure Nicholson, really.
• "Happy Feet" won for best Animated Feature, over "Cars". I picked "Cars", but I should have known better... "Happy Feet" has a global warming message to it. Silly me.
• Commenting on how old Peter O'Toole looked, someone quipped "He's probably thinking 'Disneyland has changed since the last time I was here'".
• Even though some are saying that the show was boring, I thought it was okay. Not the best I've ever seen, but I really like Ellen Degeneres, "America's Favorite Lesbian".
• That being said, I think Jerry Seinfeld was funnier in three minutes than Ellen was in three hours. His bit on being messy in movie theaters was great, and the best laughter came as he announced the nominations for "five depressing documentaries".
• Was I the only one bored by the incredibly long montage of foriegn films. Someone observed that it was all the Oscar winning films, to which I replied "No, its every foriegn film EVER MADE".
• The answers: "My wife, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kate Winslet". The question: "Who werethe three hottest chicks of the night?"
• Finally, The Unsinkable Nikki Brown won the Oscar pool this year. Once again, I came up short (in 3rd), but this year was so whacked out, no one won more than 13 out of 25 catagories (Nikki, again, was the only one. The next closest was 11, which was Steph)

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I can't believe I missed this... Michael Bolton turned 54 on Monday. I celebrate almost his entire catalogue... for me, there's nothing better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman". Happy birthday Mike.

Truly... he is our soul provider

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Ah, truth in advertising. Have you seen those stupid Jessica Simpson commercials where she's chasing the pizza guy? Yeah, well, read this.

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Premiere has listed the "15 Scariest Flicks Ever Remade". All are horror films, some are just horrible films... and who knew that "Thir13en Ghosts" was a remake? Ah, Shannon Elizabeth, where hast thou gone?

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As someone who grew up with The Muppet Show, this link to Five Freaky Muppet Videos is worth its weight in gold. There's great moments like "Love Songs with Alice Cooper", and "Kermit Meets Blondie", but the coup de gras has to be the dream of every little kid in the late 70s... Star Wars meets the Muppets.

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What do we learn from cartoons? Well, the Smurfs teach us that communism works, Scooby-Doo tells us to trust no one, and TMNT reveals that April O'Neill is really hot. All this and more from 8 Things We Learn from Cartoons.

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On the same page, what do Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers, Steve Martin and Jim Carrey have in common? They are five once-great comedians who have lost their way, according to this article (warning: language). You could add Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase to this list.

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My celebrity playlist? Hmmm... I'm still thinking on that, but I'm sure that it will include "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers, "Stay" by Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories and "Lift My Eyes" by Jill Paquette.

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Just for Paula, and everyone else who wondered why Prince didn't get electrocuted at the Super Bowl... by the way, Paula Maddox's MySpace page is worth the visit just to hear Journey.

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For you bored people... make robots out of paper!!


It's hard to top Optimus Dobler (yes, I'm fully aware about 3 of my 10 person readership got that joke... but I made it anyway)

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It's about darn time... one of my favorite commercial mascots has his own webpage now. You cn see the Geico Caveman's magnetic poetry (and create your own), the shopping list, his notes on War and Peace (you have to click on the book) and even his iPod playlist. (the speaker its sitting on is the exact one I have)

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And finally... on Wednesday, I celebrate three years being married to Stephanie Leann Campbell. It's been the most fun I think I've ever had--I vaguely remember what it's like to be single, really.

Steph--I love you, I cherish you and heck, even like you alot. Happy Anniversary to us.