Tuesday, May 23, 2006

My Girl McPhee vs. My Boy Taylor

Well, its late Tuesday night, and we've got six more songs to sing, two more performers to hear and one more show to watch... its time to see My Girl Katharine McPhee taking on Alabama's Own Taylor Hicks.

Here we go...

Tonight's show features both Kat & Taylor each singing three songs, two that they've already done before, and one specifically written for each of them... let me tell you, the songs written for them are bound to be really, really crappy. They always are. I mean, really bad. As an Idol, you gotta do it... but that doesnt mean it doesnt suck.

Live from the Kodak Theater, the same one that holds the Academy Awards every year... got a friend of mine that went to Los Angeles this week. She said she was looking for Idol tickets... I told her "Whatever. Good luck. Try eBay, get your $500 ready." And the Kodak is packed out as Ryan makes his entrance onto the stage.

Oh look, there's Ben Stiller, standing behind a Muslim lady.

We ge to see a review now of how Taylor and My Girl McPhee made it this far... lots of clips I remember seeing over the course of the Spring. Can't help it... even though I think Taylor is just great, I luvs me some Kat McPhee. I've still got the McPheever.

Song 1
My Girl McPhee is up first, and she's doing... ROCK ON--She's singing "Black Horse & the Cherry Tree" again. This time she's not on her knees, she's up and moving... I heard that last time, spending the entire performance bouncing on her knees, including practices, she ended up with black and blue spots all over her thighs and knees. I did like it better the last time, but it was still good tonight. Randy liked it better this time. Paula blows sunshine. Simon says "good with a small 'g'..."

So her numbers are 866 IDOLS 01, 03 and 05... meaning Taylor is 866 IDOLS 02, 04 and 06. Why not just say My Girl McPhee is 01 thru 04, and Taylor is 05 thur 08. Four lines each, none of this odd/even numbered thing.

Taylor is doing Stevie Wonder's "Living for the City", and he's apparently wearing Barney's skin. I mean, that jacket is PURPLE enough to come from Prince's closet. The song is fun too. Dancing around, getting the notes right, doing his thing that makes Taylor Hicks Taylor Hicks. And the crowd is going nuts...

Randy says, "You make it your own!" Paula blows sunshine, loudly. Simon says, sarcastically "This audience hated you... smart choice of song."

Oh look, there's Pickles with the short Steph Dollar hair (I miss Pickles), and she's sitting in front of Bucky... Bucky... and I think thats Melissa McGhee and Constantine? How did Gollum get back on the show? Oh, there's Lisa Turtle too!

Song 2
My Girl McPhee is going to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" again, a song that she did magnificantly a few weeks ago--which might be bad, because it was just a week or two ago, still fresh in the minds of everyone, so I hope she does well.

Her lipstick is too thick. And she just took out her ear monitor, for some reason. Other than that, I can close my eyes (not that I would--its My Girl McPhee) and see Judy Garland again. Thats a good, good thing. I like the fact she's not singing it exactly how you would remember it from "The Wizard of Oz", as in, she's putting her own twist on it, but she's not overdoing it. Its subdued, letting the song speak for itself.

Do I even sound like I know what I'm talking about? Or am I just being Paula and blowing sunshine?

Oh, and McPhather is crying his eyes out... again. Randy says "Yo, yo... you worked it out again--it was hot." Paula says "God given talent, flowers, birds, every girl proud, sunshine, fluffy". Simon says "Round 1, you got slaughtered. Now? I said it last week, but this time surpasses it--your best performance, so far."

My Girl McPhee explained her ear monitor didn't work... it gives her the key before she begins, and apparently, she had to guess--and she guessed right.

Taylor is singing Elton John's "Levon", which he says is his favorite song of the season. And kids, its pronounced "lee-vahn", NOT "leave on". Darn it, I hate reading message boards on EW.com or whereever, and see people writing "Leave on". Get it right, you uncultured igmo.

Oh, and the song... not one of my favorites from Elton John--I'd love to see Taylor do "Take Me to the Pilot", like George Huff did a few years ago. "Levon" is okay, though... Taylor did alright. A little less bouncy than the first, as expected.

Randy says "Nice song, but a little pitchy...". Paula says "Butterflies, cotton candy, tweeties, cupcakes". Simon says "Katharine has taken the second round. Its a level playing field now."

The Final Song
And now, here's My Girl McPhee's debut single, a song called... what? Oh, give me a break. Its called... "My Destiny". Why not just call it "The Cliche of Finding Success While Overcoming Insurmountable Odds" Either way, My Girl McPhee looks Phabulous. The song is not all that great, though... her voice is stellar, but the song itself is really a pooper.

Kind of a harsh note at the end there... they showed her mother on the verge of tears, though I honestly can't say if thas because she is so proud of her Katharine, or she's wretching at that note. Oh, look, they brought out the St. Francis of Xavier Choir.

Randy says "Three things, keeping it real. You look amazing. You sounded really good. I did not love the song." Paula says "Birds, puppies, kittens". Simon says "You went from brilliant to just 'quite good' in just one song. I would say to everyone that wants to vote for Katharine to remember the second song."

Randy chimes in... "the singer was better than the song." I totally agree.

Its now time for Taylor Hicks debut single, "Do I Make You Proud?" Or, "Do I Make You Dry Heave?" Just to clarify, these singles are what will be released for whoever wins the Idol Title. And for whatever reason, they are always, ALWAYS ballads. Is there no one working for the Idol Machine that can write an uptempo song? Heck, give me Taylor singing "Take Me to the Pilot", like I said before, or give me My Girl McPhee doing a version of "You Oughta Know" from Alanis (that would rooooock).

I like this song even less than liked Kat's song. I mean, Taylor sold it, sang his heart out for it... but the song was bleeech.

Randy says "This might be a slightly better song, but you make each song a Taylor Hicks song!" Paula says "Puppies, sunshine, flowers, duckies". Simon says "Assuming the show was tied before, you have just won American Idol". The crowd just went absolutely bonkers, including Mandy Moore in the audience.

Make no mistake... both My Girl McPhee and Taylor Hicks will have Ruben/Clay type success--as in, they'll both be hugely successful, each in their own areas. I would guess both will have longer careers than Ruben & Clay too. However, Taylor Hicks should win this competition. I loves me some Kat McPhee, I still harbor a crush on her, but Taylor should win this thing, because he's simply better.

And hey, here's Daniel Powter! He's singing "Bad Day", live on the show. Oh, the irony. Behind him, they are showing clips of the season, seeing the early auditions of Steph's Man Ace with the Ace Hair... there's Pickles again... Mandisa... Chicken Little.. and more.

You gotta think that Daniel Powter is trying to get every last bit of traction out of this song that he can... I see him going the way of Duncan Shiek... one song, plus a lifetime of albums that are critically acclaimed, yet sell, like, four dozen copies nationwide.

Alrighty.... tomorrow night, the Idol Finale. And I'll be here, covering it for you, doing my running diary during the show.

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